Expenses Without Receipt

Starting from Saturday, St. Patrick's Day:

• I started off my birthday day by going to Surly, which was the host of MNUFC's home opener.  I need to confess something: I find nearly all the craft beers I taste to be way too hoppy.  It may be because I've been weaned on domestic beers such as Budweiser, Miller and Coors.  However, there is one particular beer that I like a lot: Surly Pentagram.  And the one I got this time was infused with cloves and fruit.  The Pentagrams are billed as "sours," and yet not only do they taste sweet, they smell fragrant as well.  Well done, Surly!  I don't even mind paying a premium price for it!  With tip: $8.
• I got back into the swing of things when it comes to getting a hot dog and a Redd's Apple Ale before the match began.  But I swear the price was a lot lower for those two items last year: $15.25.
• I was going to make a double sports bill out of my, gulp, 42nd birthday.  After the match my plan was to ditch my car at Surly's parking lot and take the light rail to St. Paul and to procure a ticket to the NCHC Championship Game at the Xcel Energy Center.  I forgot that a fare went up a quarter back in the fall, so the cost of a one-way trip was: $2.
• The scalper there was a motherfucker who wanted $50.  Fifty bucks for a conference title game that wasn't even close to selling out?  Don't fucking make me laugh, slapnuts.  I then went to the box office (of course this game wasn't sold out) and the cheapest price was $30, a little higher than the $27 I saw at scalper websites and a lot more (at least I swear it was a lot more) than tickets were at Target Center.  So even though I was determined to go, when I learned that the cheapest price was $45, it made it easy for me to walk away.  Instead I went to Mickey's Diner to make sure that I had my yearly meal there.  Burger, fries and beans.  And since I did all of this in two hours, I didn't need to pay for the LRT coming back.  (Besides, once it passed 6 p.m. on St. Patrick's Night, all public transportation was free.)  With tip Mickey's Diner was: $11.50.
• In the evening I went to My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Edition), which was hosting a party for the owner, who died a few weeks ago.  Wanted to check the scene in case things were popping.  Nothing was except that bitch of a waitress shooting me looks all night.  That cunt complained to me about going there to watch sports, yet the first thing I goddamn see when I got inside was her watching a boxing match.  Fuck that hypocrite.  Anyway, things were so busy that I got away without getting a drink.  Got a dance with Lexi, though, because she was having a shitty day.  Plus stage tips and it all came out to: $26.
• I then went to Caffetto to sort out my papers and, well, do this EWR.  Key lime pie (even though I didn't really need to eat it -- tastes good, though), small hot chocolate, and the third time I donated to this friend of the coffeeshop who is very badly injured down in Mexico.  They are trying to raise money to pay for his hospital bills.  I really want to help, yet I can only spare a buck, and that is in lieu of tipping these guys.  Total: $7.
• Back on Friday the 16th I went to the Rogue Buddha in the evening for an opening of a new exhibition.  I wanted to get there earlier, but 1) I got stuck in Hooters eating all the food a coupon gave me and chatting it up with a couple dudes there and then 2) listening in my car after I parked to the end of the UMBC-Virginia game.  The first time a #16 beat a #1!!!  That might be the last true underdog milestone that had never been met, and it's now been done!!!  So I had to stay in my car several minutes to listen.  That meant that, even though I usually want to stay for an hour looking at the art, I blew in and out of there in ten minutes.  I got there so late that things apparently were winding down, even though I kind of thought it would be busy at 11 o'clock.  It wasn't, so after saying hi to the owner, I ushered myself out.  But not before dropping a donation: $3.
• Back to Monday, March 12 ... since Chase Elliott finished third in the previous day's NASCAR race, I went to Hooters to get my free fried pickles.  The manager said it was the first he's ever heard of it.  Uh, OK.  With beer and tip: $5.75.
• I found a nickel while I was there.  An Infusion of: 5 cents.
• Sunday the 11th: Went to My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Version), where I got a lapper with Asia, the only "veteran" of the four working there.  Also got a Coke.  Only tipped one girl on stage, and it wasn't Asia.  Total for the stripclubbin' trip: $26.
• Afterwards I went to Caffetto to sort out my receipts.  Caramel pecan cheesecake, small chocolate, and the second donation to the dude who's seriously hurt: $7.
• Saturday the 10th ... spent the afternoon packing meals for an organization as part of an alumni club event.  Besides the lower turnout, things went extremely smoothly, thank Buddha.  I made a donation after we got through our shift: $2.
• I was so tired afterward I slept for a few hours, straight through the time I wanted to get up and get to St. Paul for the Boys' State High School Hockey Tournament Class AA Final, where Minnetonka finally won its first title in beating Duluth East.  I didn't try scalpers because I thought that the box office in fact might have tickets for cheaper.  They did -- $17 ... but Standing Room Only, and only in the Upper Level.  I stood the entire time at the top of an aisle, and I could somewhat see everything.  Maybe it wasn't such a good idea.  Ticket, program, hot dog, Coke: $34.
• Went to Caffetto afterward.  Got the same thing I got on the 11th, including the first time I saw this solicitation of raising money for this dude.  Cost: $7.
• On Friday, March 9 I went to *****a's place to, essentially, fuck *****a.  I must say, I did her like a goddamn jackhammer.  With the previso that she could totally be faking it, I went balls deep on her for a good five minutes, and all *****a could do was moan and scream and pull me closer while I was banging her.  I almost feel like ... she liked it.  She liked it so much that once I came all over her tits, she left the room, promised to come back ... and went into another room to service another dude.  That was my cue for me to exit, stage left.  (*****e* was also there, but I didn't get anything from her because I promised to fuck her at her place soon.  I texted her; she hasn't texted me back.)  With cover: $170.
• Went to Glam Doll to refill afterward.  I think I got home after going to *****a's place and before going to Glam Doll, and I weighted only 167 pounds.  Did I expend that many calories plunging into her?  That might be my new exercise.  Anyway, two donuts, pourover and tip equaled: $11.27.
• Tuesday, March 6 -- my annual health insurance form came in.  I just hope to Buddha that just signing and returning it will be enough.  I went to the company mailroom to mail the larger-than-usual envelope at a cost of: 68 cents.
• That evening I went to see Annihilation, the movie that I got to too late, which I complained about here.  Ticket, popcorn, pop: $9.67.
• Spent all day Sunday, March 4 at U.S. Bank Stadium watching the three Sunday games of the Dairy Queen Classic.  Like I say, there are many worse ways to spend a day on Planet Earth than watching baseball.  Have receipts for the food, so this EWR is only for the program: $1.
• On Saturday the 3rd, after watching the EPL and visiting Grandmother's best friend (she's in pain ;-(), I went to Able Beer for their TC Record Shop shindig.  I nursed a citrus-flavored beer and walked around thumbing through records I can't play because I no longer have a record player.  But I also bought a box of Girl Scout Cookies there.  With tip for the beer: $8.
• That evening I went to My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Version).  Tips, Coke and an LD with Lexi totals: $32.
• Thursday, March 1 ... I had for many a month wanted to go to My Favorite Stripclub (Cover Version) because I know my ATF still works there, she just shifted from nights to days.  That's even better for me, because this bar is about 20 minutes away from where I work; all I needed to do all these weeks is to go there right after work.  And after checking the schedule, that's exactly what I did on this day.  And I finally saw her, and thank Buddha she recognized me.  She's a little fatter, but hell, so am I.  We caught up on old times -- it literally has been at least a couple years since I saw her.  So I got ten table dances with her before I scooted.  I then got trapped by a hot Hmong thing named Melinda, who I thought I remember from a party or another social situation where her clothes stayed on.  I was afraid my ATF would be mad that I told her I would be leaving as soon as we were done but instead stayed, but she's friends with Melinda, so phew, she didn't mind.  With a couple dances from her, beer, tips but no cover because I donated some food, I got out of there spending only: $136.

Caught up through St. Patrick's Day.