MacGyver Does It Again!

When I exchange rolls of toilet paper, I do, well, what anyone usually does: Throw out the paper roll and put the new roll onto the dispenser.  I always use the butt end of the paper roll to tamp down the toilet paper in the wastebasket -- I toss toilet paper in the trash and I don't throw it in the toilet because I'm afraid it'll clog up the septic tank and I know everybody says that toilet paper dissolves in water but still -- before I toss it in.

I think I thought this once before, but I did the replacement thing either yesterday or Thursday, so I can still see the paper roll in the trash, and I thought, "Wait ... that's paper.  That's recyclable.  Why don't I toss that in the recycling bin?  Why don't I fish it out of the trash and throw it in the bin (well, it's a bag we have on the floor next to the kitchen counter, but you know what I mean)?"  And even though I could still see it, it's not as if it's lying on top of the trash like the éclair George Constanza ate.  Plus I spent five minutes using a couple of antibacterial wipes to clean the bathtub drain of the hair and spit that's been clogging my showers; I threw those two wipes in the trash, at least one partially covered up the roll, and the, uh, wetness from the wipe and the hair and the spit and the water seeped into and onto the paper roll.

But I was able to get it out nonetheless without getting my hands dirty.  I used the tweezers to pinch it like that claw game, brought it out to the kitchen, and dropped it into the recycling bag.  Yes, I'm a smart man.