Friday, June 11, 2021

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

Before I begin, I have to note that there are only two entries in this week's Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey, and this pure bliss by me.  It reminds me of the dogs days of the survey, when (until last Year at least) it was around this time where all the spring sports end and we're left with the Twins, the Lynx, and the Loons.  That's where we are now, and less so, because Minnesota United FC is on an International Break for the next couple Weeks.  So, unless big news breaks, I have to just fill out blurbs for two clubs, and that lets me take deep, deep breaths.

#-1: Lynx (Last Week: -2).  Well, they sweep a two-Game mini-series vs. the Atlanta Dream at home; squeaked by them by a bucket Friday, then blew them out by 20 on Sunday.  That gave the club a three-Game winning streak ... even though they had won just three Games.  They then traveled to Our Nation's Capital and dropped a close one Tuesday to the Mystics, 85-81.  Guess this means that the Lynx should only play Atlanta this Year.

Regardless, this is more than enough for this squad to garner the top spot in the WMNSS.  But there is still this nagging feeling the pieces aren't coming together.  I think the main problem rests on Defense, although I can't quite put my finger on what exactly.

The schedule quirkiness I touched on last Week seems to be continuing.  They will have had four Days off when they return to action Saturday night versus Los Angeles at Target Center.  They then host reeling Chicago on Tuesday before playing in Dallas Thursday.

#-2: Twins (Last Week: -3).  This ballclub has a particularly insidious way of making its fans overblow hope.  They took two-of-three over the weekend at Kansas City, even though both wins were by only one Run.  Then the motherfucking Yankees came to town for three.  Right now the Big Apple tabloids are crying in their sleep over the underachievement of their team right now.  And that has been the stark and permanent difference between these two clubs; the mediocrity The Media in New York City is assailing that organization for is miles better than the shitty record the Twinks have.  My fucking God, right now we would murder a New Yorker for a .500 record.

Oh, beyond the dom-sub relationship these two squads have, this series has been overshadowed by The Next Scandal That Is Supposed To Bring Down Baseball.  First we have The Steroids Era, and now, apparently, we have The Substance Era.  It's been a whispered secret for a while that the reason Pitchers' spin rates on baseballs is up the past several Years -- with a correlative rise in Strikeouts -- is because Pitchers have used sticky substances, such as this thing called Spider Tack, that they hide in their caps and belts in order to make the ball spin faster.  This is illegal, even though the history of baseball and its unceasing urge to push the envelope suggests it isn't.  And the Twinks Josh Donaldson has called bullshit on all of it, putting Pitchers on blast through The Media, even saying he has reams of smoking-gun evidence on certain throwers.

One such hurler Donaldson called out is Gerrit Cole.  He signed with the Yanks a couple Years ago after blowing up in ... Houston.  Yes, he was on the Astros squad during TrashGate, when it was discovered the team was reviewing pitches (which is also illegal) and tipped their teammates when they batted whenever a less desirable pitch was about to be thrown by banging on a trash can.  Cole was a First-Round (?) Draft pick by Pittsburgh, but he was a nobody when he signed as a Free Agent with the Astros.  Do you think Cole turning into one of The Best Pitchers In Baseball while on a team who cheated its way to a World Series is a coincidence?  No.  Cole deserves no benefit of the doubt and thus all the scorn of a fucking baseball fraud, and the fawning Yankees media can go suck a dick over its tribal defense of this son-of-a-bitch.

Anyway, Cole was the SP for Wednesday's Game.  And Donaldson hit second.  So they met in the Bottom of the First Inning (delayed several Minutes because of a downburst of rain).  No, Cole did not bean Donaldson.  But he did strike him out, and mean-mugged him like a bitch as The Bringer Of Rain brought himself a seat in the dugout.  Cole K'd Donaldson again.  Now, it's likely that Cole didn't have any substance he rubbed on the ball on Wednesday because of all the heat and scrutiny.  But this is the injury-riddled Donaldson of 2021.  And this is the massively underachieving Twinks of 2021.  Cole won that Game for the Yanks, but in no way does his pitching performance exonerate him.  He could have slathered fucking K-Y Jelly on his hands and still struck out Donaldson twice Wednesday night.  Gerrit Cole is still a cheating motherfucker.  So Michael Kay and all the rest of The Yankee Propaganda Machine can stop licking Cole's asshole, for fuck's sake.

And of course the Yankees come here and sweep the ... wait, what?  The Twinks actually came from behind to win last/Thursday night's Game in the bottom of the Ninth??  And they did it off of Closer Aroldis Chapman???  And they did so without making an Out in the Inning?!  And the sequence of outcomes went Single-Home Run (tying the contest at 5)-Single-Home Run (a 7-5 Twins Win)?!?!  And those four Hits came in the last five Pitches Chapman threw -- with those two Homers and the Single inbetween them being the last three Pitches Chapman threw?!?!?!?!  Wow, that's ... strange, and not very Twins-versus-Yankees-like.  Wish I were there.  But the Twinks still lost the series.

At some point I'll touch on the bad injury luck this club has suffered.  It just won't be this Week.

Wish I could attend a tilt this weekend because the Astros are in town.  But it's really hot out, and I should stick around the house on Saturday.  Guess I'll have to sport my "Houston Asterisks" cap at Target Field next Year.  After the weekend, they play the Mariners in Seattle for three starting Monday.

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