Friday, June 25, 2021

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#-1: United FC (Re-Entry!).  They haven't completely gotten themselves out of the 0-4 hole they dug at the start of the season; they're still out of a playoff spot.  But a 1-all Tie in Dallas Saturday (even though FC Dallas answered Franco Fragapane's opening Goal; it feels like a loss), followed by a 2-0 win Wednesday versus Austin FC in front of the first sold-out home crowd the Loons have seen in over a year and a half means that they are unbeaten in their last five Matches and are within hailing distance of the postseason.

The win over AFC is instructive for a curious soccer fan like me.  The two MNUFC players who scored are new to the squad this season: Fragapane in the tenth Minute, Adrien Hunou in the 18th.  I have lamented how seldom it seems that players on a soccer club stay with that club for a long or even medium length of time.  It appears as though soccer, more than any other sport, churns through players like the bonbons in that I Love Lucy sketch.  That's why it breaks my heart to have seen Christian Ramirez get traded and Miguel Ibarra get let go.  (By the way, Superman might be going to Scottish Premiership side Aberdeen, and Batman is toiling in the United Soccer League.)

And yet I cannot completely dismiss the results.  United FC have, since their third season, been a good team and, compared with the profligate LAFCs and Seattles and Atlantas of the Major League Soccer, they're punching above their weight, or at least at it.  And they've done so by bringing guys in and sending them out as soon as they don't serve the franchise's purposes.  For example, does anyone remember Bebelo Reynoso, the playmaker that speared the team's run to the Western Conference Final?  He got subbed out after 76 Minutes against Austin ... and he was a substitute for Will Trapp in the 74th Minute in Dallas.  And does anyone remember that Thomas Chacon was supposed to be the shit when the team signed him?  Is he still with them?  Did he ever play a single Minute for them?  And what's happening with Ike Opara, anyway?  (By the way, Brent Kallman remains the only player currently on the roster who played for Minnesota United when they were a second-division club.)  And they've righted the ship, through relentless player turnover.  I have had to get used to, and get over, saying goodbye to players I rooted for.  All for the club.

This team has yet to win on the road.  In their only Game this screening Week, they travel to Portland to play the Timbers Saturday night.

#-2: Twins (Last Week: -2).  These guys are a bunch of cock teases.  They swept The Bastard Washington Senators v.2.0 in Dallas over the weekend starting on Friday, then defeated Cincinnati at Target Monday, giving the ballclub their first five-Game winning streak this Year.  And then they drop the back half of the short midweek two-Game series Tuesday afternoon, 10-7.  And they begin a four-Game set at home vs. Cleveland with a 4-1 setback last/Thursday night, courtesy of former Twin Eddie Rosario.  Also, after Byron Buxton smacked a Home Run over the weekend (don't know which Game), making me reconsider my belief that the organization should trade him, he's fucking hurt again -- this time a fractured finger or some bullshit.  Yeah, a lot of guys are injured.  Still no excuse.

After finishing up with Cleveland, they play four at Comiskey versus the White Sox.  Going into the season the speculation was that Chicago could be the Twinks' rival in the division if they grow up fast enough.  Now, the Pale Hose are in first and Minnesota is last, 13 full fucking Games behind.

#-3: Lynx (Last Week: -1).  There is a lot of talk -- such as it is -- about the Lynx's furious 18-Point comeback at Atlanta on Wednesday to nip the Dream, 87-85.  It's the third time in as many Games Minnesota has beaten Atlanta.  That's great; the Jynx would have the best record in the WNBA if they only had to play the Dream.

Unfortunately there are ten other opponents in the league, and they're not doing so hot against them.  They're 3-7, to be accurate.  In the other Game this club played this Week, they got crushed by The Bastard Detroit Shock in Dallas Saturday, 95-77.  This loss was just two Days after they crushed the Wings by a dozen.  I can imagine Cheryl Reeve, once again, lighting up her team during Halftime of their matchup vs. Atlanta, and this would not be the first time this season she has had to micromanage her squad.  A couple veterans are on the bench and no one knows when they'll be back.  So unless something big changes, the Jynx have who they have, and going 1-1 every screening Week simply won't cut it.

They host The Bastard Utah Starzz Friday, then travel to play Phoenix Wednesday.

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