Hottest Babe In The Hooters Calendar: July

As Hooters usually does for July, most of the women are dressed up in red, white and blue.  There are a lot of star patterns, however, four to be exact, and I don't think I've ever seen so many for a July spread before.

There are ten babes for the month.  Three of them have their arms in front of their bodies, therefore I am eliminating them from recognition here.  I don't have too much time to rank the rest, so after several look-overs, I am going to rank them like this, in ascending order:

7) Cassidy, Grand Prairie (spelled "Praire" -- when I think Hooters, I don't think spelling), Tex.  Long brown hair, bandeau top, red two-piece bikini.  She's tanned as fuck, but the muted expression gets her on the list, but no more.

6) Victoria, Metairie, La.  Long, stark blonde hair, and she's wearing a star bikini, namely white stars on a blue two-piece with red borders.  She smiles lovingly.  Unfortunately (and this is petty, even for something as misogynistic as "Hottest Babe In The Hooters Calendar") she is one of three waitresses here that have the smallest picture in this spread, and that knocks her down to here.

5) Vanessa, West Palm Beach, Fla.  Very long brown hair, red two-piece with a small white "X" on the top of the left breast, tanned skin, but a non-smile.  You can tell that her breasts, natural or not, are huge, which is a plus.  Her bikini is one of those high-waisted, 80's types, a plus in my book.

4) Carsyn, Beaumont, Tex.  A white two-piece that looks more like sleepwear than beachwear.  She's a little small on top, too.  But she's got long blonde hair, got a sexy stomach (yes, there is such a thing), and a smile that beams like a lighthouse.  A cutie!

3) Grayson, Kennesaw, Ga.  The Main Girl for July 2021.  Another star bikini, this one with a plethora of differently-colored stars on a white two-piece bikini.  Breasts are good.  Good proportion.  It's a muted smile, but I like it.  And I really like the short blonde cut.  Her right hand is touching the right strap of her bikini top, but all her good qualities make up for it and then some.

2) Alyssa, Denham Springs, La.  So she has long, darker blonde hair, she's not really smiling, and her blue two-piece has a lot of material and thus covers a lot of stuff.  That's fine, because I can make out a ... #-pack on her abs, and I am so fucking turned on by a hot woman who has a strong core.  And I'm not ashamed, dammit!

1) Danielle, Sarasota, Fla.  The blonde (yes, her hair is long) is in side profile, and she's sorta throwing back her hair.  She ain't really smiling, either, and she's got an American flag bikini going on: White stars on a blue bikini top, red-and-white vertical stripes for a bottom.  The reason she's #1 is because she fulfills my new rule, namely that if you show ass, you're going to be at the top.  It ain't that revealing -- half of her ass, maybe less -- but Hooters is still treading on taboo ground here, so I'll give the top spot to continue to motivate Hooters to shoot more in this vein.

So congratulations to Danielle on topping a really good month!  And yes, I will eventually masturbate to all these babes as soon as I have the time.