There was a perfect storm that led to this. First of all, I was assigned to go into the lab to open up packages because, I guess, they are short-staffed there (COVID?). I knew this the day before, but I still don't like the job. One station has you cutting open the packages, which is boring and may lead to me cutting myself, which is a fear I have. But there's another station that I did do, which is taking out the contents of each package. We test for urine (among other effluvia), and sometimes, well, the damn package leaks. So there were several occasions where I was reaching in only to be met by cold, fucking dirty piss on my hands. And that's when I utter "goddammit," and find a sandwich bag to put the leaky piss bottle into. So when I got done two hours later, I wasn't in the greatest of moods.
Moreover, I did not take my usual nap (or at least my attempt at a nap) during my lunch because the company bought us all free food for the day, which is their annual thank-you for being an employee. I guess I could have skipped it, or even waited until after I got my nap, but I decided instead to take the boxed lunch into my car, eat the sandwich part (steak and arugula), then try to nap the last ten minutes of my lunch break. I did not sleep.
About half an hour after I got back from lunch, my drowsiness hit me, and hit me hard. I don't remember feeling this drowsy while at work since I was starting out as a temp and I actually fell asleep at my desk. I didn't do that, but as I have gotten older I have come to realize that I get quite upset whenever I am sleepy and don't have the opportunity to sleep. Slangry, or tirangry, in other words.
My attack of the naps was nobody's fault -- including mine, even though if there had to be someone at fault it would be me. And I think I conked off for a few minutes while on afternoon break. But I guess I still had the anger in me when I came back. I knew since last week that there was another, uh, task that I was assigned to do around this time of the workday. And I was doing it until I was told by my supervisor that my boss wanted me to instead give this task to another co-worker and go back into the lab -- not to cut open packages or shove my hand into piss, but it was another thing, and I was in no mood to go back to the scene of such humiliation. So I got up, took this folder I was working on, laid it next to the person who was going to work on it now, and said, not at a conversational level but it was above a whisper ...
... well, come to think of it, maybe I should not say it, because of the reason I am writing about it here. The boss who ordered all of us to go into the lab was well within her rights to do so; work was winding down out where we work, there was work in the lab, so we go to where the work is, as we have many, many times before. My frustration comes from the out-of-context fact that I thought I was told to do something and then I was ordered to do something else. I think that every employee has the right to blow off a little steam now and again. Unfortunately, I uttered what I uttered within earshot of a couple of people, one of which is my supervisor with whom I have a, uh, rocky relationship. It's been a day, so maybe I'm overreacting. But if my boss calls me into the office to have a "talk," or even if I get an e-mail sent to the entire team "reminding" all of us that when there is no more work out in the hallway, we have to go into the lab, I know that one of those two ratted me out to her. And that will damage, if not ruin, my relationship with that person.
So let's hope my tiredness doesn't lead to losing my job.
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