One Goddamn Penny

I have decided I need to purchase some things through Amazon -- a filter for the furnace, a filter for the water, a filter for the water coming out of the refrigerator (even though we don't drink the water from the fridge -- and, in fact, there isn't a water dispenser for the fridge), a battery for the alarm system, and those circular, hearing aid batteries (they're for my car key fobs).  I was saving them up so that I would have enough to get free shipping when buying them together ... even though I have tried to do so in the past and then I see I am paying for shipping for some of the items because they're not eligible after all, or something.

That's the case here (and by the way, I think Amazon says I qualify for free shipping, but then when I go to the address page where I show which items go to which place, that's when I see some of the items do not have free shipping), and it's really annoying the hell out of me because, according to Amazon, I am one single cent short.  Again, it might not matter because I still might be paying shipping for some of the stuff I want to buy.  But for the past few days I have been goddamned obsessed with figuring out the one thing I want to buy in order to be "eligible" for free shipping.

At first I was at a complete loss as to what to buy.  There is nothing I want to buy, and to be honest, it was kind of a struggle to figure out the stuff I need to buy now.  Then, I remember that there are a lot of OnlyFans babes I am willing to buy gifts for.  I have seen a lot of their wishlists, and many of them are only a few bucks (well, less than ten bucks), so I thought I could just toss in one of those to get over the hump.  But I swear, I have tried putting in my cart gifts from a half-dozen OF babes, and every single time Amazon continues to tell me I am one goddamn penny short.  Apparently, none of the gifts I want to buy are eligible.  I swear they were eligible when I bought them in the past.  Now, who knows?

Just now I thought I could buy fuel stabilizer, which I should put into my lawnmower now that it's winter, and even that is ineligible.  I don't get it.  So I quit.  It's very convenient for me to buy all the stuff that I need through Amazon, but if they're going to lead me by the nose like this, I think I'll do the more sensible thing and buy as many of these things I can in the stores that are, like, around me.  Sure, I'll be paying for shipping for all the items I will still buy on Amazon.  Frankly, right now I would rather be $100 short of free shipping than one motherfucking penny short.  God, that bothers me so fucking much. ...