Monday, July 8, 2024

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#-1: Twins (Last Week: -2).  The good news is that that had a 4-2 Week, taking two-of-three from both Detroit and Houston, both series at home.  (Christian Vazquez was the hero for yesterday's/Sunday afternoon's 3-2 Win, driving in all three Runs including the Game-ending Home Run in the bottom of the Ninth Inning.)  The bad news is that, even though they have a better Last 10 than Cleveland, they remain six Games back of the Guardians for the lead in the A. L. Central.  The, uh, neutral news is that they still have ALWC2 (pronounced "Al Wick two") and are three Games ahead of the Last Team Out, Kansas City.  Congratulations, by the way, to Carlos Correa, who was named an All-Star.  I am getting more and more able to forget that he was with the Asterisks.  A quick thought and prayer to Royce Lewis, who is back on the Injured List for another non-contact injury.  The last thing we need is Byron Buxton v.2.0.

This is the last screening Week before the All-Star Break, and it's a light schedule: A two-fer at the White Sox Tuesday and Wednesday, then three in San Francisco for the weekend.

#-2: Lynx (Last Week: -1).  Watch this space, unfortunately.  On Tuesday, talisman Napheesa Collier came out of the Game at The New York Liberty.  Turns out, she injured her foot, and as far as we know, we don't know when she's coming back, nor if she can still play for The United States Olympic Women's Basketball Team.  They lost to the Libs by nine, then came home to lose to Connecticut Independence Night by five.  They, however, regrouped to defeat Washington at Target Center by seven Saturday evening.  It stands to reason that without Collier, they would lose to the other two best clubs in the W, but beat a squad that's improving but is still finding itself, even though I can take some moral victories from them losing to the Liberty and the Sun by single digits.

With the Lynx two Games behind both New York and Connecticut, I don't think they'll be getting home-court advantage into the Second Round of the WNBA Playoffs, let alone throughout.  They just have to weather Collier's absence (although foot injuries are sometimes hard to figure out a timeline as to when they are healed enough) this Week as they travel to Los Angeles and Seattle, then host Caitlin Clark and The Indiana Fever Sunday afternoon.

#-3: United FC (Last Week: -4).  Goddammit, why do I spend money on this team?

On Wednesday the Goooooons got off to a fucking shit start; I don't know if third-string Goalkeeper Alex Smir or Centerback Michael Boxall was at fault, but two Vancouver attackers pressed them high, one of them was not paying attention, and a backpass was pounced on for the first Goal of the Match only four Minutes in.  Then came a header from a cross and a lobbing golazo from just outside the box, and both Goals went into the net without much trouble.  The Whitecaps won for the first time at Allianz Field, 3-1.

Last/Sunday night they were at the Galaxy.  I decided, by the way, to go out to The Taste Of Minnesota in the hopes of seeing my stripper girlfriend there, who drove to the Twin Cities from the west-central part of the state.  I stopped by a speakeasy before going home, but I was able to catch the start of the Match just as I started my car up.  Went home, poisoned my brain and my confidence by doomscrolling through Twitter, then remembered that Match was on.  Went to set up the AppleTV, then checked the score on my Yahoo! Sports app, then saw that the Galaxy scored first.  Unplugged the AppleTV and looked at some porn and, after I, ahem, finished, I checked the score again.  Hey, Teemu Pukki is back, and he tied it up!  So I set up the AppleTV again and this time I actually turned my TV on ... just to see, in the 88th Minute, the Galaxy score the Game-winning Goal.  Unplugged the AppleTV and caught the back half of a rerun of Austin City Limits.

These fuckers have now lost six in a row and are winless in their last seven.  And an XI that was once leading MLS in Points Per Game is now in tenth place in the West, out of a playoff spot.  This is so bad that getting Tani Oluwaseyi and Dayne St. Clair back from The Canadian Men's National Soccer Team (they'll lose Tuesday night to Argentina, I can guarantee it) won't fix this team's problems.  This is so awful that I don't know if an aggressive Transfer Window will stop this freefall.  Fucking Christ!

At Houston Saturday.

No comments:

Post a Comment