Being A Dick, Then Being A Pussy

So my co-worker vented to me about work yesterday.  I feel bad; I think she may have bit off a little more than she could chew.  Still, she soldiers on, just not without the stress that I did not sense until she told me.

I feel bad because there is a lot of things on her plate that I can't help her with.  Also, being that I am kind of senior person here, I should be doing more, but I'm not.  As I've said before, I couldn't deal with the distractions I felt would annoy me to no end.  Apparently they were getting to her, too.

So, even though I can't take care of all the responsibilities she had, I thought I could do one thing, namely get the other co-workers to come to me instead of her so she can concentrate on her stuff.  Therefore, when I came in this morning, I thought of this: I'm going to act like I got an e-mail from my supervisor (who was not in today) instructing her to concentrate on catching up, and I'll tell the guys not to bother her and to come with me with questions instead.  And so I did, with the subsequent intention of having them go through their problems in such a way where I expect them to do that on their own from then on.  If they don't like it, well, I gotta do me, namsain?

It worked, sort of.  They split their questions between the two of us 50/50.  That may just be force of habit, but I did keep my headphones on a lot of the time, so I didn't project an inviting social attitude, like I usually don't.  Moreover, I didn't hear too many questions, period.  It's possible that they thought that instead of asking me, they won't ask.  The place was a lot quieter today, which is great, but if that means they continue to make mistakes, we're going to see that in the back end, and that just means we're going to get pissed then instead of annoyed now, and we're just trading problems at that point.

What I did not think of, however, was that I could get in trouble from my boss.  I lied, plain and simple, in order to help my co-worker relax and just do what she needs to do.  It's going to come back to me.  He's coming back tomorrow, and one of them is going to say, "Oh, Unforgivable Wetness said in an e-mail not to bother her.  I know that's a lie, but we get the message!"  And my supervisor's going to go, "What the fuck?"  And then he'll call me out ... or just plain fire me.

So now I have to prepare for the possibility that I might get a dressing-down or an outright dismissal.  I think he'll be cool with it, but I don't really know him, so maybe I shouldn't have lied like that.  I hope he understands.

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So the job where I think I got ridiculed?  I got a paycheck this week, and OMG, it's huge.  Well, not like I hit the lottery or anything, but it's, I believe, twice as much as I usually get for a job like this.  Shit, it's almost as much as I get for the temp job for the week.  Gotta love TV.

But I needed to make absolutely sure that wasn't a mistake.  But there is an ulterior motive: To take his temperature on where I stood with him.  Look, there's no doubt I fucked up that Sunday, and I think that one guy might still have something against me.  But I've worked with this production for a long time, and I think I've built up enough credibility that one moment (or two) of frustration won't mean I'll never be hired by them ever again.  That's what the call's for; if he's still not OK with my attitude or performance, or if he isn't as cool as I thought he was, I would then believe the exorbitant check was a way of saying thanks for my years of meritorious service and the extra money should cover the times I thought I would be working for them but won't.

I rehearse what I'm going to say.  I decide to be mousy, and cautious, almost apologetic.  After a couple deep and anxious breaths, I call.  He answers.  I explain to him the check ... and he said that is right.  And then, unbelievably, he hired me on for their next game.

Oh, so I guess I was just paranoid after all.

Or, maybe not.  Maybe that guy does like to play mind games.  Seriously, I'd like to be as resourceful for them as possible.  Shit, I know sports.  But hey, as long as I continue to get hired, I guess I won't complain too badly.  If this guy doesn't like me, too fucking bad, I'm still working for them.