Think I Pissed Off My Supervisor Yesterday

I don't know if it was because he thought I put a file in the wrong place, or maybe he was just having a shit day at home.  But when I was listening to the radio while he asked me for something, after which I heard him say something intelligible and so I went, "What?" to which he screamed, "Which batch?!" I kind of thought he was pissed at me.  Honestly, I was partly stressed out over what my "frenemy" was going to reply to my post about football on Facebook and partly oblivious because I'm back to waking up at 5:30 in the goddamn morning again.

It got so bad that I reverted to a habit I had to do: Avoiding people.  There was a question I wanted to ask about a missing number, but instead of asking him what I should do about it, I let it slide.  In retrospect, I have a feeling that that was a mistake and that will get back to me.  But while I was deciding whether or not to get up and talk to my supervisor, I subconsciously feared that he'd scream at me.  So I decided to pass up the question and just hope for the best.  I hate that about myself.  I should have just done my damn job, even if he would act all pissed at me while answering my question, just for being all nonchalant towards him in the morning, or something.  Man, I still don't exactly know why he was upset, or even if he was upset.

These situations and thoughts are what I have to face, and what I have feared, as someone with a full-time job: The ups and downs and bad moods of a place where you see the same people again and again.  The one great thing about being a temp is that you are not stuck with the people you work for and with, so if they suck, it doesn't matter, you're leaving.  You don't get to do that with a job with full-time benefits.  You are going to see these people at their best and their worst.  And they're going to see you as a man in full, too.  So the question I have to answer is whether, or how much, I am willing to tolerate the moments where I don't like some person's tone or he or she is giving me some passive-aggressive body language.

Maybe this will be all in the rearview mirrorwhen I go into work today.  But maybe it's not.  Maybe this is a pebble in the ledger, and at some point an avalanche of rocks will convince me I should leave this place.  I just don't think yesterday can be wiped away, I'm afraid.