So I went to a party yesterday and I sort of had my fun.  But I had to leave because I ate so much, drank so much, got really tired and felt like I needed to take a shit.  That's no way to feel at a stripper party.  And yet there is always alcohol and, more inexplicably, food at these places.  Look, I'm only there for one thing.  Food and drink are fine, but I'm there only for one thing.  And I had to leave instead because I got two plates of spaghetti and got a tallboy instead of a regular can of beer.

Oh, and about that one thing ... I thanked A***** via text today for giving me a handjob, even though she didn't jerk me into orgasm.  And she was all, "I didn't know you wanted that!"  Girl, what the hell else would I take you to a bed for?  And we texted before the party, where she said, "Let's have some fun!"  And I replied, "Hope your definition of 'fun' is the same as mine!"  And ... it sort-of wasn't.

(sigh)  Maybe she'll do me for real next time.