OK, I should talk about the pissy tone my supervisor took in yesterday's e-mail to me. I have been doing something wrong, and he decided he was going to point it out to me in an e-mail. But fixing this problem, in my certain estimation, was not his main point. His main point is this phrase: "We have discussed this already."
Ooh, have we? Maybe me not understand is your goddamn fault. Like I've said before, I hate people who say or insinuate something like "We have discussed this already." I don't care what anyone else thinks: When someone says "We have discussed this already," your main point is not trying to correct a mistake, nor is it emphasizing the ridiculousness of repeating something that, maybe, might be complicated to understand. You are making sure that the person you're talking to knows that you don't like to repeat yourself. That is the main point you want to make. Full stop, that's it, I don't want to hear any alternate interpretations. And once again, to that main point, I DON'T GIVE TWO FLYING FUCKS HOW MAD YOU ARE THAT YOU THINK YOU NEED TO REPEAT YOURSELF TO ME. I DON'T. Just remind me what I need to do, then move the fuck on with your life. That's what I'm doing.
Well, that is what I was doing until late in the day, where I got confronted with another thing. Not to get into detail -- couldn't get into detail even if I wanted to -- but I was going to erase something until I saw a "being used" message, meaning that a person was putting in the thing that I was about to delete. I thought my job was to delete this thing. But why should I delete this if someone else -- someone else who probably knows better -- is putting this thing in? So I didn't delete this thing that was just put in, nor did I delete the other thing that I was going to after this first thing.
So I was in a bind. I'm now at risk of getting caught, and yelled at, for not doing my job and deleting those two things. But what if I am wrong in my original thinking, and therefore, even though I did not delete both of those things, I will get yelled at for deleting two other things I had already deleted in this folder before I stopped myself in my tracks? And by the way, I need to loop back up to the actual mistake in that pissant e-mail my authority figure sent to me, because, frankly, I did fuck up. Many times, and I know that I had gone over this with him in the past, and I have done this mistake many times since while thinking, "Hey, am I doing this right?" And I guess I didn't, though he didn't have to piss like a bitch in reminding me.
So my main takeaway with all this is that I have been at this job for nine or ten months now, and I still am both making mistakes I should not make and being confronted with things I don't understand, and it's really goddamn frustrating. I should be past this by now, but this one-two punch of bullshit is really making me start to believe that I don't have the confidence of people above me that I can do this job. I may not be perfect, but can I learn? Or is this some final straw that gets me demoted, or worse?
Yeah, but anyway, he needs to fix his goddamn tone. ...
Ooh, have we? Maybe me not understand is your goddamn fault. Like I've said before, I hate people who say or insinuate something like "We have discussed this already." I don't care what anyone else thinks: When someone says "We have discussed this already," your main point is not trying to correct a mistake, nor is it emphasizing the ridiculousness of repeating something that, maybe, might be complicated to understand. You are making sure that the person you're talking to knows that you don't like to repeat yourself. That is the main point you want to make. Full stop, that's it, I don't want to hear any alternate interpretations. And once again, to that main point, I DON'T GIVE TWO FLYING FUCKS HOW MAD YOU ARE THAT YOU THINK YOU NEED TO REPEAT YOURSELF TO ME. I DON'T. Just remind me what I need to do, then move the fuck on with your life. That's what I'm doing.
Well, that is what I was doing until late in the day, where I got confronted with another thing. Not to get into detail -- couldn't get into detail even if I wanted to -- but I was going to erase something until I saw a "being used" message, meaning that a person was putting in the thing that I was about to delete. I thought my job was to delete this thing. But why should I delete this if someone else -- someone else who probably knows better -- is putting this thing in? So I didn't delete this thing that was just put in, nor did I delete the other thing that I was going to after this first thing.
So I was in a bind. I'm now at risk of getting caught, and yelled at, for not doing my job and deleting those two things. But what if I am wrong in my original thinking, and therefore, even though I did not delete both of those things, I will get yelled at for deleting two other things I had already deleted in this folder before I stopped myself in my tracks? And by the way, I need to loop back up to the actual mistake in that pissant e-mail my authority figure sent to me, because, frankly, I did fuck up. Many times, and I know that I had gone over this with him in the past, and I have done this mistake many times since while thinking, "Hey, am I doing this right?" And I guess I didn't, though he didn't have to piss like a bitch in reminding me.
So my main takeaway with all this is that I have been at this job for nine or ten months now, and I still am both making mistakes I should not make and being confronted with things I don't understand, and it's really goddamn frustrating. I should be past this by now, but this one-two punch of bullshit is really making me start to believe that I don't have the confidence of people above me that I can do this job. I may not be perfect, but can I learn? Or is this some final straw that gets me demoted, or worse?
Yeah, but anyway, he needs to fix his goddamn tone. ...
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