Sunday, May 12, 2019

Um, I'm Gonna Hold Onto My Umbrage

So I was working yesterday, and I was doing this thing where I needed to put down a fax number, but I didn't have it.  What usually happens -- well, at least what I thought was supposed to happen -- was that I would e-mail someone about getting it.  So, that's what I did.

A few hours later, I get back this e-mail saying that, instead of her sending it out, I am supposed to do this instead in order to look it up myself.

OK.  This came from my co-worker who uttered "I said" when answering my oh-so-innocuous question about a vegan restaurant.  There hasn't been any micro-aggressions from her in some time, so I thought it was cool.  And in the morning, before all this shit happened, she said hi to me in the hallway.  But I was surprised to see her, so I didn't say hi back.

Moreover, I understand that it is dangerous to glean tone from an e-mail.  Sometimes it's obvious that someone's telling you off.  Sometimes it's obvious that someone's not.  But sometimes it's not obvious.  And frankly, knowing our history, and knowing what happened this morning, and given that I'm paranoid by nature ... yeah, I'm not completely sure she's being condescending toward me, that she's basically saying, "Do this your damn self, Mr. I Don't Say Hi Back To People."

Now, to be fair, I've been working on a sleep deficit.  Last night I crashed after work and dinner -- two hours of sleep falling asleep just after United FC kicked off and I missed listening to the entire game, (they lost 2-0 to Chicago, so no big loss), then, after shutting off the radio, another two hours or so before remembering Emma Thompson was on Saturday Night Live (did she kill?).  So with rest, I think I can at least see that maybe she was just telling me what I needed to do.  Maybe she wrote that with the perspective that I'm learning.  (I don't really like that perspective, since I've done this before, and I can just chalk this up to making a mistake.)  And, maybe the bottom line is I didn't do it right; I talked to both my co-workers about the e-mail and they both said I was supposed to look up the number first.

But ... well, I'm a defensive son-of-a-bitch, so, um, I'm just gonna hold onto my umbrage, at least until I go back to work there Tuesday.

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