God, I Hope I Did My Taxes Right

Maybe it was the fact that I had a lot of stock transactions I made in 2020 (don't regret them; I think my portfolio has quadrupled).  Maybe it was the new wrinkle in the American Rescue Plan where they don't tax the first $10,200 of unemployment, something I only saw almost two weeks ago.  Maybe it was the fact I was drinking this really nice sour from Nordic Brewing named Mango Honey and I was buzzed the fuck out.  Or, maybe it's my old age.

Regardless, I had one hell of a time completing and sealing up the paper copies of my federal and state tax forms.  I started early enough -- I think -- by writing down all the salient amounts I'd need to put on the forms and schedules and worksheets.  But then I got this night job, and so I had to plan out in advance when I was going to work on my taxes.  I was going to file them this weekend, after I got done working remotely during the workweek, but before Monday.  I still have a bad memory of needing to send my forms on Tax Day but not having any postage.  I had to go downtown because they customarily are open into the evening.  I waited in a line for two hours.  From them on, no procrastinating.

Not to say that I felt rushed.  But Friday night was the day to get everything done -- write down all the amounts in a fresh, final draft; check the amounts and the math; and, finally, sign and write down my social security number on everything before folding them, sticking them in envelopes and sealing them shut.  And it was then -- with the buzz of this Nordic Brewing Mango Honey -- that I made a series of mistakes:

• I did not change a line on my state form to reflect an amount that should have had the amount of unemployment I got removed from it.  In other words, the right amount was lower.
• That compelled me to redo the whole state tax form, the M1.  And not to brag, but when I picked up new forms from the library, I picked up two -- precisely because of an occasion where I see a mistake in the "final rough" draft.  I used my first blank form precisely for that reason.  Unfortunately I made another mistake when doing my second blank form: I wrote down amounts on different lines than I should have.  (I was buzzed drinking that sour around this time.)  I did not want to go back to the library to fucking make more copies.  I have sent mistake-filled tax forms in the past, where I cross out wrong amounts and write down the right amount next to it.  I don't like it, but I've done it in the past, and I have yet to be audited.  So I just bit the bullet, said "Fuck it," crossed out the amounts I wrote on the wrong lines and put them on the right ones.
• I then did a final once-over on everything.  And one computation didn't sit well with me on a second look: The tax I determined I needed to pay had to be subtracted by the foreign tax I paid.  But for some goddamn reason the difference I wrote on the form didn't seem possible to conjure up from the two amounts I wrote down.  And so I redid the calculations on my laptop, and sure enough, I wrote that amount wrong.  And I swear I used a fucking used a calculator for it the first time.  This time I MacGuyvered the answer: I needed to turn a "1" to an "8," so I just made an "S" shape connecting the top and bottom of the "1" to make it sorta look like an 8.  Oh, and I had to summarily fix the error of the amount I owed, which I had also already written down.
• Oh yeah ... the day before, Thursday, after work, I went to the library to make copies -- both for the state tax return (you need to make copies of all your federal forms) and for my own records.  And it fucking turns out that I skipped one schedule, Schedule 2, I needed to copy.  How could I forget copying that form?  Fortunately I had a spare Sched 2, plus the only amounts I needed to write on there were zeros.

Through all of that, I think -- think -- I got done with my taxes.  I owe a grand total of ... $26+ to the federal government and $32 to the state government.  Only $58 and change I have to give in taxes?  Sweet!  Now, I assume I did my taxes right.  However, the state's determination of how much tax I owe them is based off of a number on the federal tax form, which in turn was cut down because the federal government stated in March that unemployment was non-taxable for 2020.   Minnesota has yet to agree that up to $10,200 in unemployment would also not be taxed at the state level.  That could change after the fact, but I am not completely certain I did the math right.  But if I did, this goes to show the importance of accurately declaring how many dependents you have when you fill out the W-2.  Before I didn't say I had any and I wound up paying on April 15, and sometimes a lot more.  This way there is no annual shock to the system of sending out hundreds of dollars to the governments.  This seems more even, and even though some people think that owing at tax time is a good thing (it's like having an interest-free loan!), I hope changing the number of dependents becomes the new normal if it results only in two-digit tax bills.

Speaking of getting drunk ... I have been really boozy and not alert writing this blog post, just as I was Friday night.  I should end this blog post and hope that when I'm sober, I can read it and say that I was not drinking when I wrote it.