Tuesday, May 25, 2021

Oh, God, She Must Really Be Fucking Sick Of Me By Now

Goddammit, man, I don't fucking know how and why I just lose all sense when I'm around her.  I don't!

I was scanning a folder today.  She was scanning another folder.  One of the forms I was scanning got stuck in the scanner.  That happens from time to time, and it sucks, and if there are days when it seems to be happening frequently, I get pissed off.  Sometimes but not always, once I get the scanner unjammed, a ... I have no idea what to call it, but the software we use to record the images onto the system kicks into a, for lack of a better word, error message.  Usually that means I need to delete all the images that are already in there, then scan the whole damn folder again.  Upon further later reflection, there was a way I could have possibly "saved" the whole folder, but ever since I started this job, when I got that message, I was trained to just erase it and do it over.

Anyway, once I saw this error message, I immediately took all the forms that were in the feeder and pulled it out, I stopped the scanning process, and I deleted the whole thing.  It was around this time that she got done scanning her folder.  Then she was waiting, and then she was looking at me.  I realized why she was waiting for and looking at me: These particular folders would eventually wind up at her desk, so after I got done scanning my folder, I would just give her the folder because she's right there, and she would walk back to her desk with both folders.  Makes sense, right?  So she said, "You done?"

"No," I said, "I had to ... um ... delete the ... uh, thing ... because ... um ... I had ... (fingers gesturing at nothing) you know ... that black ... rectangle thing on the screen!"  That is basically what I said to her, with about the same number and length of pregnant pauses and blathering stammers.  And it is not the first time I have had trouble finding the words to describe simple things that we routinely do at work to her.  And I don't have no goddamn clue why I am tongue-tied around her, because not only do I not have a crush on her, I don't even like her.  Yeah, it's her.  That supervisor.

So she goes, "You don't have to delete those folders."  Don't want to get into it, but there are two types of forms we do in The Main Department.  The more important ones are the ones I can save from this error message/black rectangle with this process -- a process, by the way, she showed me -- but I guess these forms are, like, immune to this error, which I did not know, or at least don't remember I was told.  "Uh, I already deleted it," I replied, and I think I got the right words out in the right order and said them all without pausing.  And she either said, "OK," or "Great," and she picked up the folder she was scanning and went back to her desk without the folder I should have easily scanned and gave to her.  And a part of me wants to react to her barely-lidded contempt by saying, "Oh, fuck you!" but I really don't have a goddamn leg to stand on because I just shit my mouth when she spoke to me, AND I DON'T KNOW WHY THE FUCK I KEEP DOING THAT AROUND HER!!!

She's fucking sick of me by now.  I know it.  Guess I have to be sick of her in kind.  War of attrition!

First That Guy and now That Supervisor.  Man, I need a fucking long vacation.

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