Another Surplus Of Food

So by my count, there are 11 servings of frozen meat that my parents left for me just before Labor Day that I haven't eaten yet.  I think there were at least twice that amount, maybe a little more.  Eleven is a lot, and I'm currently sweating whether I'll be able to consume them all before they come home.  I could just eat them eleven days in a row, but that would be boring as shit.  That's why I've left so many three months after they were frozen -- I wanted to eat other food, like fast food and, uh, fast food.

But the big variable is when they're coming home.  They say March, and I think that's a fair guess.  But at its earliest, they're back in six weeks.  That means I'll have to eat two of these a week to make them all disappear.  That's a fucking lot.  Maybe too much.  And then they'll ask, "You had six months to eat all the stuff we left you ... and you haven't eaten them all?!"  My God, I wish they were dead.

On top of that, I keep taking, and being given, free food.  I brought home a salad after the Vikings upset Loss yesterday/Sunday.  But some guy I was working for for the Game gave me a snack pack of nuts.  And then, after that emasculating defeat, I got a text from my uncle saying to call him.  I am not a guy who calls up his family to chit-chat, so whenever I get a text from a family member telling them to call them, I assume the worst.  But it was my aunt who picked up my uncle's phone saying that she dropped off some food in celebration of Chinese New Year.

So I have a big salad, a snack pack of nuts, and several take-home containers of food on top of the frozen stuff my parents left for me.  And now I am scared as hell that I can't eat this all.  Because on top of all that, I bought bread, cold cuts and cheese for sandwiches.  Oh, and I bought jelly for PB&J sandwiches.  And I bought ice cream to eat, just because.  And the liquor I have is another thing altogether.  So I have a bunch of perishable shit that I need to eat.  And guess what?  For tonight, I plan on not eating any of that because I want to grab some Pizza Hut.  Hey, Monday Night Football is on!

I don't know why in the hell I care what my parents think about the food they left for me.  But I do.  And that's a personal defect of mine.