I'm Doin' It! I'm Gonna See A Masseuse!

And not one of those legitimate ones, either -- an illicit one!  One that advertises at an illegal website, one that I need to explore through my VPN!  Although she also has a legitimate (-looking) website and, for some reason, wants references.  Well, I just two of my stripper girlfriends if I can use them, and both of them said yes!  Cool women, and I guess they see themselves as sex workers, too!

So now to just pull the trigger.  But when?  And can I afford it?