Friday, November 10, 2023

Addendum To: Like Herding Cats (Alternate Title: Wow, Haven't Been Undermined In A Long Time)

OK, so I didn't get an answer from anybody as of Thursday morning as to where everybody else wanted to go, so I stuck to my guns and said we're going to St. Paul.  Thought that everyone's silence meant complicity, and while that isn't total buy-in, I'll take it.

But then today, one of the group ... well, frankly, started bitching about it.  This was the place whose kitchen closes way early, much too early for her liking.  So she kept coming back to her complaint today over texts.  I thought that we understood that but we're OK with it, but she didn't drop it; she texted that she called and they said the kitchen closed at an obscene hour.  I didn't think that was true, so I went there after work today to make sure of the time the kitchen closed ... and, well, it closed a little earlier than even I remembered it closing the last time we were there, but it was later than what she said.  I texted her that, and even though she seemed disappointed (you can never tell tone through texts, dammit), she said she come.  She'll just come and order early.

But then, coming off the top rope, is our friend who said she's just watching from a place close by her house.  She was the one who kind of threw a spanner in the works after I said we had to look for a different place.  I was kind of waiting for her to tell us which of several spots she said she has gone to she would be going to Saturday.  I didn't hear from her all week, and I have a duty to tell everyone where to go, so I made my decision that we're headed to St. Paul.  Well, fuckin' A, she texted everyone this evening that she decided on a place, and the one who was bitching about the time the kitchen at this place in St. Paul closes just says, "OK, I'm going with you!"  And I'm all, "Have fun!"

I have never seen a group of people in this alumni group ... well, undermine me like this.  We have never had this much ... well, arguing over where to go.  See, our main bar is in Minneapolis, and even though it's downtown and many people don't like to go downtown (supposedly because of the crime even though that's totally overblown), any inveighing over that choice has pretty much stopped.  Anyone who doesn't want to come downtown doesn't bitch about it anymore; they just don't come.  Now, we frequently have to go somewhere else.  Sometimes it's because the network our football team is on that week isn't carried by this Minneapolis bar.  We have had to find different places for years to find this network, and for the past couple we settled on this place in St. Paul.  This is our back-up bar, and we have been there, I now think, five times this season (if you include tomorrow/Saturday).  This time our team's on a network every bar has, but our main bar is hosting its monthly UFC pay-per-view event at the same damn time as our game.  It's a pain-in-the-ass to go to a back-up bar, but I feel as though people in our group have accepted this, too.

I thought that was going to be the case this week.  I mean, our football team isn't going to do anything special this year (even though we thought they would), and there are only two games left.  In short, I didn't think it'd be a big deal that we would go to St. Paul for a fifth time, even when I wasn't able to foresee until it was a bit late that our main bar was hosting a UFC PPV.  But suddenly it is a big deal.  What hurts even more is that the people I'm talking to are people who come to these events the most often.  I ask for their input because their opinions mean a lot to me.  What blindsided me is that they came up with all these new places I hadn't even heard of.  It's almost the end of the season; why can't we just go to a place we've been to before?  If they're so damn worried about finding a new place, we'll talk about it in the summer, or even the spring.  But you want to go to a new place now?

And I still don't know if any of them are committed to my decision to go to St. Paul.  It looks like two of them aren't coming: The one who gave me the silent treatment went to events last year but not this year, and the other who has been a mainstay the past few years, so her bailing like this also kind of hurts.  The other two?  I don't know.  The address of the place these two women are going to are closer to the residences of the other two than they are to St. Paul.  So if they go with them ... goddammit, I might be watching by myself in St. Paul.  And that would be fucking embarrassing.

Again, I don't mind going to a new place -- well, not as a main bar; this place in downtown Minneapolis has been a mainstay for us for a decade now, and I don't want to give that up.  But let's not go to a new place now.  It feels, however, as though all the regulars of the club -- of my club -- have decided that my decision sucks.  I feel disrespected, tbh.  Undermined, too.

If they won't understand my decision, what do I do now?

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