#-1: Gopher wrestling (Last Week: -7). The Gopher grapplers' ascension to the top spot in this screening Week's WMNSS is not an indication that they surprised the college wrestling world, even though it is nice that they 13th-ranked Rutgers on the road Saturday, 20-12. No, it's more on all the other local teams underwhelming. With that being said, they spend the weekend at Maturi vs. Maryland and Northwestern, so the schedule could give the program a much-needed, though probably ephemeral, boost.
#-2: Timberwolves (Last Week: -1). Goddamn, I was at the Game last Monday against Charlotte. It was supposed to be a walkover, a complete rout. It occurred to me late in the First Half that Karl-Anthony Town was having a good night, and then I looked up at the scoreboard and say that he had 35. Thirty-five fucking Points?! He scored 60-something that night, a night, I saw on Twitter/X, that was the 18th anniversary of Kobe Bryant's 81 Points versus Toronto.
I didn't think they'd lose. But fuckin' A, they did. And it looked as though the Timberwolves disregarded the Hornets, saw that KAT was going off, remembered the Mamba anniversary, and fed him the ball so that he could reach Bryant's milestone. What they didn't do was keep scoring to stay ahead of Charlotte, and in the back half of the Third Quarter, the Hornets took a one-Point lead. They reestablished a 15-Point lead after three, but everything fucking fell apart for them in the Fourth. They (especially Towns) threw up brick after brick. Meanwhile, Charlotte got hot from deep whenever they didn't drive to a wide-open hoop that resulted from forcing Rudy Gobert away from the rim. It was a slow-motion disaster that they couldn't avoid, collapsing Ryan Saunders-style by three. Afterward, Head Coach Chris Finch called it "disgusting and immature basketball" (I think this is the second time he called his club's play "immature," and I am not going to disagree).
I kind of thought in the back of my mind that this hot start wouldn't last, and that their immature play, combined with the maturity of the likes of Denver and Phoenix, will eventually result in the Woofie Dogs floating down the Western Conference standings. Well, it's starting to happen, sorta. They bounced back from that humiliation with wins on the road over a bad Washington team and a not-good Brooklyn team, but went down to San Antonio Saturday and coughed up yet another lead in losing to the Spurs, 113-112. So, as of press time, they are tied for first in the West with The Bastard Seattle SuperSonics, another squad that has found shocking early success but still find ways to lose to awful teams. They lost by 14 at Detroit yesterday/Sunday, for God's sake. But they have the benefit of actually being young. With the trade for Gobert, they are still getting their chemistry down but don't have a lot of sand in the hourglass. Meanwhile, the Nuggets and The Bastard Buffalo Braves are breathing down both their necks.
Speaking of the Thunder: They visit Oklahoma City tonight/Monday night in a late-January showdown. Their four-Game roadtrip having concluded, they'll come home to face Dallas, Orlando and Houston.
#-3: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: -5). Yeah, they swept Minnesota State-Mankato over the weekend in a home-and-home, but yeah, I put them third. Why? Neither Win was impressive: They squeaked by the Mavericks Friday at Ridder, 4-3, and then on the next Night in Mankato the Mavs took them to Overtime before Peyton Hemp saved her team's ass. I see this as MSU gaining on the Goofers program ... or the Goofers falling back from the elite, as first evidenced this season by the two-Game ass-kicking they took at the hands of a real blue blood, Ohio St. I cannot in good conscience put this squad on top of the survey when they should have beaten the shit out of the Mavericks. And so they are here. Hey, St. Thomas is coming over the river for a two-Game series this weekend: Maybe you can curb-stomp them like you're supposed to.
#-4: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -2). Similarly, I couldn't in good conscience put the Gopher men icers above the Gopher women icers because they lost Friday at Michigan St., a program that appears to have righted itself this season, albeit by a 3-2 margin. But I have to say that I impressed that they delivered a 5-1 rout of the Spartans in the Saturday tilt. They remain in good shape to make the NCAAs, though it's not a lock. They travel to Madison for a pair with Wisconsin, another program that is in the ascendancy this Year after being in the dumps for quite a while.
#-5: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -6). Had a few chances to tie late at The Barn against Wisconsin but came up short, losing to the Badgers Tuesday, 61-59. But they responded with what is arguably their best Win of the season, an 83-74 victory at Penn St. Saturday night where they went into the half down 45-31 but blitzed the Nittany Lions in the Second Half by a score of 52-29. If you consider the Loss to Wisconsin a moral Victory, then you can say that this team has gotten better, both over the course of the season and compared to last Year. Now, that and $2.50 might get you on the bus, but it's not nothing.
Hosting Northwestern Saturday afternoon.
#-6: Wild (Last Week: -4). A 5-3 Win over Washington on Tuesday at home pushed their winning streak to three. But then they shit the bed, choking on Third Period-leads and losing in regulation to Nashville and Anaheim. Neither club is great. And that both choke jobs also came at the X is a brutal reminder of how shitty this team is right now. Worst of all, they will have this stench of loser for quite some time: The NHL is in the All-Star Break now, and the Mild won't return to action until the February 7.
#-7: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -3). Didn't think I'd see this squad at the bottom of the survey, or any survey this season. But this group had an awful screening Week, where they first dropped a three-Point decision at Wisconsin on Tuesday (the same Day their male counterparts lost to the Badgers at Williams), then blew an 11-Point Halftime lead at Illinois and lost by five after getting outscored in the Second Half, 45-29 (in a way doing the opposite of what their male counterparts did at Penn St. the Day previous). This team had been climbing up the S-Curve, according to Charlie Creme, landing an 8-Seed in his Bracketology projection on Friday. That rise will certainly stop and might reverse itself when he takes another look on Tuesday.
Meanwhile, they can reverse their slide Wednesday at home against Penn St.
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