Thursday, September 17, 2026

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#-1: Vikings (NEW SEASON!!).  I still don't know how they pulled off this victory.  The Offense, already rocked because Kyler Murray was lost for the Game late Sunday afternoon, wouldn't get going, while The Green Bay Packers picked apart the Vikings' so-called vaunted Defense.  It was going to be a long Fourth Quarter, and maybe a lost season.

But then Packers Head Coach Matt LaFleur got an Offsides call while kicking a successful Field Goal and, up five, decided to take the Penalty, which resulted in Fourth Down and short, and went for it.  Just between you and me, the Quarterback sneak looked like it got past the line.  But the referees and Instant Reply said Jordan Love was short, and somehow that flipped a switch.  From then on, Carson Wentz couldn't lose.  Meanwhile, the Vikings' D bowed up and started knocking Green Bay's Offensive Line with impunity.  And the Packers, who ended last season coughing up double-digit Second Half leads and losing, allowed Minnesota to score the last 29 Points in the Game.  The Vikes went from being down 22-10 (and it felt worse than that) to blowing out the Pack, 39-22.  When's the last time something good like that happen to a local club?

Now, can they do that again at Chicago, which racked up 59 Points to defeat Carolina in Charlotte, Sunday?  If so, they'll have to do it without Murray, who remains in concussion protocol.  But I have to say that in the time he was on the field, he looked cooked.  I know it's a very small sample size, but I saw enough to say that he isn't the answer.  Far from it.

#-2: Gopher volleyball (Re-Entry!).  Used to be The Diet Coke Classic consisted of four teams playing around robin over a weekend at the Sports Pavilion.  Dem's da days ... there are only two opponents flying into Minneapolis now, so that halves the number of Games to only one a Day.  I would've loved to have seen the Match featuring the two guests, in this tournament Miami and St. Thomas, but I was working the Gopher football Game.

Sadly, the caliber of foe is also different.  I won't begrudge sweeping both the Hurricanes and the Tommies last weekend, but I don't have to go that deep into th recesses of my mind to remember that the Gophs used to be able to invite and beat squads much better than Miami and St. Thomas.  (And talk about your sweeps: St. Thomas swept Miami in three Sets in the Saturday Game.)  And the U.'s strength of schedule will take a further hit when they travel to Sioux Falls, S. D. (for the second time this season -- they were there three Weeks ago for the season-opening State Farm College Volleyball Showcase) to participate in the South Dakota Lottery College Volleyball Classic.  The Gophers and Washington are two Big Ten schools playing two Summit League schools, and naturally, in South Dakota, those two schools are South Dakota and South Dakota, whom Minnesota will play, respectively, tomorrow/Friday night and Saturday afternoon.

#-3: Gopher soccer (Last Week: -1).  Started conference play this screening Week ... a 1-0 Win at home over then-25th-ranked Iowa Thursday, followed by a 1-0 Loss at unranked Penn St. Sunday afternoon.  Too early to judge how good this XI will be or not, but they're 5-1-2 so far.  That matches their start last season, which didn't end well, so who knows?

Home vs. Northwestern Sunday afternoon.

#-4: United FC (Last Week: -3).  Lost 4-2 at St. Louis Saturday.  I'm not a doomsayer about this side -- yet.  But they are winless in their last four.  And not only have they fallen out of a playoff spot, but they are only a single Point above next-to-last Seattle (Sporting Kansas City is in last place and has 11 fewer Points than MNUFC ... but they beat the Loons in July, by the way).  They are also only a single Point behind San Diego for ninth and a chance in the Western Conference Play-In Game, so all is not lost.  But time's running out, and United FC have established a pattern of striking futility than will probably sink them.  Hosting The Los Angeles Galaxy, one of team that have passed them, at home Saturday.

#-5: Twins (Last Week: -4).  Yet another two series lost, yet another 2-4 screening Week.  Seriously, I am as bored with this team as Twins employees are.  Well, there's elimination -- it is looming, we just don't know when.  They're out West for a four-Game series versus Anaheim (can I call them just "Anaheim" now that Arte Moreno has agreed to sell the franchise?) beginning tonight/Thursday night, then play at The Bastard New York Giants for three starting on Monday, the final road series of the Year for the Twinks.

#-6: Gopher football (Last Week: -2).  I was working this Game, which I thought would be much more competitive than it turned out to be.  I was looking at the odds leading up to the Game, and unless I'm seeing things, that line jumped between the two clubs as much as any line I had ever seen.

Apparently the line ended at Mississippi St. -1 1/2, and the oddsmakers at least got the winning team right.  The Bulldogs, picked in pre-season to finish next to last in SEC play, beat the ever-lovin' shit outta the Gophers, 38-13.  Their Quarterback, Kamario Taylor, is one badass dude.  And MSU played hurry-up all day.  They found open receivers without too much effort, and the Goofer Defense was cooked after they somehow got a Sack and Fumble in the End Zone for a Touchdown.  Beyond that great play, it was a bewildering performance by a team I thought would win on Saturday and definitely thought would be more professional than the moribund effort they gave.  They simply weren't in it.  This was like the Tim Brewster years.

Well, they get to retreat to their pussy-ass non-conference scheduling policy and host Akron Saturday.

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