The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

Positive Numbers: United FC (Last Week: -2).  Holy shit, I never would believe this would happen.

This week has capped off a series of glorious firsts for the Loons, so I don't know where to start.  Well, I'll start with this first milestone: They went 2-0 in a screening week for the first time on the survey.  After getting upbraided by Head Coach Adrian Heath for almost giving away the game against Real Salt Lake on the 14th, the squad gutted out a 2-1 victory Wednesday over New England.

But the big result, the near miracle, happened last/Sunday night.  LAFC (I prefer to refer to them as Laugh-See -- see what I did there?) came into town second in the Western Conference.  In a league where there are enough loopholes to put a lie into the salary cap which is supposed to be a bedrock of the single-entity system, LAFC is not an expansion team.  In fact, they are one of the best teams money can buy.  I hate moral victories, but given the Loons' recent spate of good play -- discounting that humiliating 2-1 friendly loss to Deportivo Saprissa, they have yet to lose at home in July -- I was OK if they had lost only by a score of 1-0.  A draw was unheard-of to me.  A win against those guys?  Huh, you're smokin' some good shit, aren't ya?

But goddamn, what the hell was that?  Not only did MNUFC take it to 'em, they won.  And not only did United win, but they beat the hell out of Laugh-See.  5-1?!?!?!  No, I did not see that coming.  It was very nice to see players who usually do not figure into the scoresheet contribute to the five Goals.  Rasmus Schuller scored the first Goal for United, and Erin Miller assisted on one.  The turning point of the match occurred just before Halftime, when Christian Ramirez and Darwin Quintero broke a 1-1 deadlock with Goals a minute apart, Quintero's coming just before the whistle.  I was afraid that LAFC was going to mount a comeback in the Second Half, but the defense buckled down.  And when Miguel Ibarra and Ramirez scored (for the second time) two minutes apart, the opposing team just shut 'er down and checked out of the match.  Lucky for the home team!

There were many superlatives achieved during the match.  The five Goals are the most this side has racked up in their short tenure in Major League Soccer.  They have won three matches in a row for the first time in their time in MLS.  They have extended their overall home winning streak to four.  And, anecdotally, even though Matthew Doyle of MLS.com gives the nod to their 3-2 road win versus Atlanta, I believe that this is the biggest win MNUFC has had in their brief stint in MLS.

It could not have come at a better time.  There have been bigger crowds, but -- and this is just a feeling -- there were a lot of newcomers in the 22,739 who came out to TCF Bank Stadium to watch this match.  I can tell you that a group of over a dozen family members (some of them total babes, by the way) were sitting near me.  One of them confessed that this was her first-ever Loons game she watched in person.  They were able to watch a win, which is a good thing.  But moreover, these guys beat a team that on paper has a decisive advantage in talent.  On top of that they routed them, totally kicked their asses.  And it is in that environment where, for the first time maybe since they crushed D.C. United at home 4-0 last year, the crowd could relax and really belt out the chants that soccer matches are known for.  People all over the stadium (at least in my section of TCF Bank) were belting out "M!  N!  U-F-C!" and the "Black And Blue" chant at points during the game.  And I don't remember seeing so many people raise their scarves and sing the chorus to "Wonderwall" so loudly before.  This is a landmark victory on the pitch, a high that proves how much this franchise, even as an underdog, can achieve if they deploy the right pieces and tactics.  Therefore, this is a milestone for the organization off it.  Every one who was at last night's game, I can assure you, will want to come to another one, either this season or in one of the seasons at Allianz Field.  I think last night's win was that pivotal for Minnesota United FC -- the business as well as the team.

Oh, and by the way, as of press time the Loons now sit seventh in the West, only two Points behind Salt Lake City for the final playoff spot.  But now they turn to a road-heavy portion of their schedule.  It was imperative for this team to defend home turf if they want any chance of sniffing the postseason.  But they've got to claim some points on the road, too, and they have a chance to do just that Saturday when they visit the Vancouver Whitecaps, a side that sits just two Points behind them.

#-1: Twins (Last Week: -1).  They return from the All-Star Break (Jose Berrios pitched a scoreless Fifth Inning in the All-Star Game -- good) by promptly getting swept at the second-worst team in all of Major League Baseball, the Kansas City Royals.

This is how shitty it got.  It was 2-all in yesterday's (Sunday's) game in the bottom of the seventh.  Two gone but two on for Catcher, and former Twin, Drew Butera.  He's batting well below the Mendoza Line -- .168 as it stands after the game.  No wonder he's batting ninth.  Trevor Hildenberger gave Butera a 2-2 pitch down and in, and Butera was able to lift it to Right-Center Field.  CF Jake Cave, a guy I'd praised for his jolt of energy in the past, tried to dive for it and end the inning, but he missed and the goddamn ball rolled all the way to the wall.  Butera -- remember, he's hitting less than .200 ... oh, and he's slow as fuck, too -- was able to chug all the way around for an Inside-The-Park Home Run, and K.C. took the sweep, 5-3.  And that's why I skipped 0 and put these guys in negative numbers.  Yep, these Twinks have to be sellers now.

Eeesh ... three at Toronto and then four in Boston.  The Blue Jays are below .500 but God, this club could be in tatters this time next week.

#-2: Vikings (Re-Entry!).  My God.  I was passing by Hooters MOA yesterday afternoon when I looked at the TV and saw the breaking news on the crawl: Vikings Offensive Line Coach Tony Sparano died yesterday morning at the age of just 56.  He went to the hospital complaining about chest pains on Thursday, but after taking test, he was released Friday.  He and his wife were preparing to go to church Sunday morning, but she found him unconscious and he wasn't able to be revived.

My thoughts and prayers go out to the Sparano family.  Also, my thoughts go out to the Vikings.  The offensive line turned into a major weakness towards the end of last season, and yet I cannot fathom how that unit is going to come together in the wake of the untimely and undeserved death of their position coach.  Maybe this becomes a rallying point for them.

Addendum To: Addendum To: Fucking Driver's License Change

Oh, I need to catch you guys up on the my driver's license.

So, last time (OK, next-to-last time) I talked about it, I talked about refusing to pay full price to get my name corrected on my driver's license because of my principles, goddammit.  Then I spent a few hours tossing my room to find the receipt that would have gotten me this name change for free, to no avail.  OK, we're all caught up.

So I bit the bullet a couple days later and went to the DMV to pay fucking full price to get my name changed.  I don't quite understand this, but what the person who helped me said may have exonerated me.  She quickly looked up the history of my name in their records and, at least according to her, my name has been wrong -- as in my middle name and last name have been transposed -- since 1997.  I'll let you in on this: I had noticed that my middle and last names were in the wrong places for a while now, at least before the license before the license where my parents found out.  But good God, not since 1997.  Guess I still would have needed my receipt to get out of paying full price anyway, but has the state thought that that was my name for the past 21 years???

They told me it would take six weeks to get my new license.  It took more like two months.  I got it through the mail Friday.  I opened it yesterday morning ... "What the hell?!?!"  They got my name right ... and then repeat my middle name at the end.  I don't understand who the fuck no one caught that.

So I had to fucking go to the library/DMV again, birth certificate in hand again, and wait in line to instantly complain about this, and for which I definitely will not need to pay, if only because my paper is tucked into my wallet.  The person parceling out the waiting numbers looked at the mistake on my new driver's license and uttered under her breath, "Idiots."  She immediately sent me to a person (allowing me to cut in line, thank Buddha) so she could make copies of my old (wrong) license, my new (wrong) license, my birth certificate and my change application paper.  She said it'll be two weeks.  I'll give it four.

I still can't fucking believe they screwed it up -- not really again, but the way they screwed it up.

I Don't Know If Going To The Same Library Twice Is A Good Thing

I was here the first time, around 11 o'clock, to map out my trek to Portillo's (they had two hot dogs for $5 as part of their Hot Dog Week) and to type out an invoice for Mother.  And I'm here now to reserve a spot at Great Clips and to, well, type this so I can blog twice in one day, something I want to do more often, even if one of the blog posts is something as trite as this.

I like libraries.  They're good, and I appreciate my tax dollars being used to help the public at large for both educational needs and just to have something to do.  And, well, I am here this time around, to blog post this, to do something.  Still, I'm still bugged that this is something I look forward to -- you know, I feel as though there is something else/better I could do.  Eh, whatever; I have to get my hair cut now and then I need to get a pop from Wal-Mart before eating prime ribs at home (well, trying to eat at home; that chocolate cake shake from Portillo's knocked the wind out of me, and then I went to Utepils for a beer and some rib tips).

It's Not How Much You Spend, It's How Much You Save!

Herberger's is just about closing down for all eternity.  There is a huge store in The Mall Closest To Me, and with them advertising that their shit is now 60-80% off (maybe they could have saved some of that money advertising to shore up its bottom line instead), I thought it best to drop by there last evening on my way to Glam Doll.

I was surprised to see so many things still on the shelves.  I know that the announcement that Herberger's was going to liquidate was at least a couple months ago, and seeing that it's selling its stuff for more than half off, I thought the parasitic vultures people seeking a bargain turn into would have picked the place clean.  That is not the case.  Moreover, on a Friday night it was a hell of a lot emptier than I thought it would be.  Contrast that with the St. Paul Macy's closing down several years ago, or better yet, the Macy's in Minneapolis.  It was not too far before they were gone for good, but when I went, both stores already looked abandoned.

I was able to amble around and look at everything that was priced to move.  I then thought about what I needed to buy ... which was nothing.  But dammit, if I have all of this I could buy at prices I won't see for a long time (oh, who am I kidding, stores are dying, I'll be going through another clearance like this again very soon), why not get something?  I mean, who cares if I'm unemployed right now?

You know what I could get?  Another suit.  Unfortunately, suits still seem to be way too expensive for my taste, even though they're 65% off right now.  I also have to see if the suits fit me, and to do that I would need to find my measurements.  Sadly, I thought I had them here in WAF and I can't friggin' find them.  Moreover, even if I can find them or if I could have them determined or if I just bluff my way into so me guesses I then have to piece them together because I did not see any sets together.  In other words, it's complicated.

Besides a suit I guess I could use a dress shirt or two.  Maybe some jeans and/or khakis.  And maybe some nice pants with an easy fly to open so I could flash my dick to strippers.  And see, this is where I drop down the rabbit hole.  I really don't need all these things, but the pull of getting a huge bargain at the expense of a company that's about to destroy itself had already got me dreaming of buying stuff.  Actually I still am dreaming.  I'm dreaming about when I can go back, about whether I can risk holding out to see if Herberger's starts marking prices 90% off or if I should go back sooner and get the stuff I want now before someone else gets them.  I don't generally like shopping and yet, shopping is what I'm thinking about now.

How To Beat The Republicans

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

She Is My Last Whore

Some time this afternoon I'm going to drive all the way down the loop from here and, lord willing, fuck ****e.  It's been two months since I last fucked her -- fucked anyone, I believe -- but it's felt like longer.  I've had such an urge to stick my dick into someone that I'm really scared that when the time comes, or cums, I'll cum too soon and ruin the moment.  All I really want is to bite ****e's nice titties.  And rawdog her, of course.

When I was first propositioned by her, I thought it would be a one-off, a two-off at best.  She lives way too far from me to make this a regular occurrence.  Plus, I thought, I had other whores who 1) whore out just as well as ****e does who 2) will do it for the same price as she does and 3) live way closer to me.  She's nice, but it's such a schlep for the same good stuff I can get closer to home, how often could I really go and see her?

Well, things change.  For one thing, ****e has a bunch of advantages I have learned that my other whores don't have.  She has a roommate, but no kids.  She doesn't mind cooking for me once in a while, a sign that she, uh, loves me?  She sucks my dick and lets me enter her in the raw, of course.  And sometimes she's not around when I have to leave, so it looks as though I can shortchange her by $20, like I did that one time.  And she doesn't seem to care.  I really expect her to greet me, hold me, then fuck me.

In the meantime my other whores have fallen away.  My used-to-be-main whore, ***a*, has started to ghost me again.  And the one time I dropped by to see her, she's gotten a new job, so I don't know when she'll be free.  Her half-sister, ****e, is someone I've fucked a couple times, but she always insisted on a condom, and she has forsworn sex-for-money ever since she got into this custody case.  There are two other girls who used to work at My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Division) who I fuck at parties, *****e* and *****a, but they also demand I glove up and, besides that one afternoon with *****e*, they don't want me to make housecalls.  I can only fuck around with them at parties, it seems, replete with $25 cover charges and other guys hanging out in the living room and waiting for me to rail them so they can take their turns railing them.  P-U.

So, it's ****e.  She takes antidepressants and she might not be stable, but for my masculine, sexual needs, she's all I've got.  And you know what?  It's good enough for me.  At least for now.  I'm looking forward to crushing that ass in a bit.

Addendum To: You Know, I Should Blog About This World Cup Game Before The Final

So I checked the standings after France, and I, won.  As before the World Cup Final was played, I did that trick where I scrolled sloooooooowly down the standings.  But I was under no illusion that I somehow leaped over nine other people and won.  And I didn't.  I finished four points behind the winner, who got 14 of the 15 Knockout Stage picks right.  (He got Spain beating Russia, but really, who didn't?)  I was kind of beating myself up for thinking I had selected Belgium to beat Brazil when I actually had the opposite, but even if I did get that pick right, my three incorrect Round of 16 picks (Spain over Russia, Portugal over Uruguay, Switzerland over Sweden) doomed me to finish a point behind this guy who's based in Hermitage, Tenn., so I would have lost anyway.

The only shame I now feel is feeling that I was so good in the Knockout Stage, and really the entire World Cup, but because there is only one grand prize I didn't win much.  I finished with 63 points, tied with two other people, but if the tie-breakers is total goals for the tournament predicted, I beat out those two and thus technically finished seventh.  For a huge, nationwide tournament like that I should get something.  But I don't.  Well, I do; because I finished first among all prognosticators who declared the Mall Of America Hooters his Favorite Location, I get free buffalo shrimp and free fried pickles.  But there were, like, two other people from the area who played, and I waxed both of them.  Also, I now need to know how in the heck I get that free food.

One observation: I used to like the World Cup just for the spectacle itself.  Sure, they need to play more Group Stage games, they have to go back to the Golden Goal and I still don't understand why referees get to subjectively pad out injury time.  But that's a part of the game, and I have made peace with it.  But this time around I was watching all these games through the prism of this contest at Hooters.  I wasn't really a Neutral; I had a dog in each fight, and my mood would swing from good to bad depending on whether I chose correctly or not.  Such is the corrosive effect of gambling.

A Decision That Backfired On Me ...

... and it involves, what else, food.

Yesterday evening I attended a United FC seat selection meeting at their headquarters.  It was late in the afternoon, and after I decided I really wanted to get my seats then and there instead of waiting, I looked at my watch.  It said 5:30.  I was in Golden Valley, and knowing how bad traffic was, I texted Father on my way back out to my car that I was going to be late, coming home at 6:30.

I'm bad at anticipating backed-up traffic.  However, even though I initially cursed myself for not doing a U-turn and going up 100, I go to 94 on time enough whereby I would be home by 6 -- my usual time coming home from "work."

So I could have come home at my regular time.  On my way home I needed to by lotto tickets for Father, but that was no big deal -- I'd just come home a bit past 6 instead of at 6.  But I didn't want to change things on my parents again.  But what to do?  I know -- eat!  But should I?

I think it's fair to say that having the following internal monologue is a privilege of someone with a bit too much time on his hands.  I did not think I was going to have a big and/or wow-type meal at home.  I figure it would be that dish with tofu, egg and that meat with all that fat or something.  In other words, what I would have for dinner wouldn't be something I would get fat over.  That means that I could stop at the gas station, buy the tickets, get a little bite to eat, then come home closer to the 6:30 I told my folks.  So I did not go home early/at my usual time.  I thought first to get a hot dog from the gas station, but then I saw that sign where they goad you into getting a second dog for a buck, and I didn't want to eat that much.  There's a Taco Bell attached to this gas station, and I got their Nacho Fries Supreme, something I don't think I've ever had.

So I got home a bit before 6:30.  My parents were done eating.  And, unfortunately, I had ... soup.  Pho, to be exact ... or is it bun?  Anyway, Mother always makes a kick-ass soup.  It's one of my favorites from her.  And I couldn't quite enjoy it, let alone eat it within, like, an hour, because I was full from eating the Nacho Fries Supreme from before.  If this were a "lesser" dish, I could've stopped myself from eating too much.  But this is a bowl of soup, and one that I usually want to finish because it's awesome, and although I did eat it all, my appetite was ruined.  Maybe I should have just gone home early and bypassed Taco Bell.

Yeah, I'm Back To Stalking Her

I have two weeks' worth of free time on my hands, I'm in her part of town and I'm horny as fuck.  So after blogging this at the library very close to her place, I'm going to drop by ***a*'s apartment to see if she's there.  If so, I'm going to ask if she got my texts seeing if I could make a housecall, so to speak.  Maybe she's free and her daughter's away, so we could fuck, but that won't help because I have no money.

It'd be weird if I just went over to her apartment for, like, the fifth time in 30 days.  But fuck it, I don't care.  Wish me luck!

Expenses Without Receipts

Starting from Monday, July 16:

• Went to Caribou/Einstein.  You know, I don't want to get caught up on customer service, and it's not as if she was a bitch or anything, she was just ... curt.  Oh, and I know I'm due a free drink but she said I didn't have one coming.  Whatever.  I made a mocha into a coffee instead.  That'll teach her.  With bagel and tip: $6.
• Realized that if I'm going to be furloughed for the next two weeks (should blog about that), I should go to the U. and look at the experiment boards and pick up a couple studies.  I brought the lunch my folks packed for me; along the way I would eat the steamed bun after heating it up in the microwave in the student union.  Along the way I remembered that sometimes there would be a tent where the U. would be serving food.  And alas, there was this pop-up restaurant right on the Quad called, I think, U. BBQ.  It wasn't really a barbecue, it was mostly just your usual grillable meat.  But it was there, and I was there, and even though I could have saved my stomach and money, I got a hamburger.  Why not?  Live a little!  And I didn't even have to tip, even though I had a dollar out due to force of habit.  Total: $5.75.
• Then went to the Dunn Bros. at the Rosedale library because I needed to know the price of the small mocha frap I bought there on the 11th.  With a dollar tip this sweet treat was: $5.83.
• Went to exercise, felt the need to drink pop, went to Wal-Mart for a Pepsi, but that was all sold out, so I walked over to the Coke machine, which I wanted to avoid on this day because of this article.  Cost: 50 cents.
• Sunday the 15th was the World Cup Final.  France won.  My pre-tournament pick actually won!!!  And so I wasn't too cheesed off that the Nomad took cover, especially since I got a t-shirt for it.  Charged the Marla's Caribbean wrap and Bloody Karenina and got fully reimbursed for parking; the cover was: $5.
• I then had time to go the library and then celebrate National Ice Cream Day by going to a spot from Franklin Ave. to this new spot called Wonders before seeing my friend's show in St. Paul.  They do this thing called rolled-up ice cream.  I still don't really believe there's much of a difference, but golly, that ice cream was good!  Sure it was hot outside, but it was good.  Really pricey, though.  Anyway, I got to the theater just as the lights went down.  Whew!  I actually got lost finding Wonders, but I'm glad I was able to fit seeing my friend's musical into this Sunday.  And I got in via student rush, and so the ticket was only: $10.
• Saturday, July 14 ... went to the United match.  Got my usual hot dog and Redd's for: $15.25.
• After the game I went to Glam Doll.  Saturday was National Mac And Cheese Day, and once I learned what day it was, I made a day of it.  I went to the Minneapolis Revival, which many people say has the best mac 'n' cheese in town, for lunch.  (Thirty bucks total with a burger and a banana cream pie.  Glad I charged it.)  And then I made a point to eat the Bellybomb, Glam Doll's mac-and-cheese donut, tonight.  I had wanted to eat it again for a while, and this was the perfect occasion.  With two bucks in tips because the guy giving me the Bellybomb was really cool and generous with chips and the mac-n-cheese tots as a reward for waiting as he sorted out some other dishes from people lined up in front of me: $13.07.
• To Friday the 13th, where I had to go back to the library and get another thing for the HR person for the company I'll be working for full-time, namely a paystub: 10 cents.
• After the library, and then working out (well, I had to return a call and check my e-mail, so I was on the treadmill for, like, 20 minutes before the gym closed at 5), I went to Wal-Mart.  This summer's been so damn hot I've had to get a pop can, in this case a Coke, and for price, you can't beat Wal-Mart, which charges only: 50 cents.
• Thursday the 12th -- while waiting for word of when we're going back to the law firm (a call that, apparently, will never come), I went to the combo Caribou/Einstein.  Was going to get a bagel, but apparently my card said I could get two bucks off a breakfast sandwich.  Cool.  That plus a medium mocha (for which I got a buck off because I filled out a survey) and tip and it all came out to: $8.50.
• Figured that I should start printing off these pages I need for my new job in case I start on Monday.  Turns out I won't, but I still printed them out at the library: $3.80.
• Before coming home I went to Wal-Mart to get a Pepsi from the vending machine.  Is there any other place on Earth where you can get a can for: 50 cents.
• Back to Wednesday, July 11 -- Caribou in the morning.  Small mocha, cookie, tip: $6.
• Then I went to the Nomad to take in the Croatia-England semifinal.  Thank Buddha this bar reimburses at the parking lot.  I turned around and used the money I got back for parking to pay for the Tecate that was on special all tournament.  With tip it came out to: $5.
• And then I went to Dunn Bros. for a mocha frap.  With tip: $5.83.
• Went to the United match afterward.  They're in the middle of a two-match-per-week spate.  This is where they lost that Friendly/Exhibition to Costa Rican soccer club Saprissa, 2-1.  Since I expected way fewer people attending this game (and I was right; I got to the gate 20 minutes before 7 and I breezed through) I indulged by eating food at places where there would be lines for official matches.  Got a bacon-wrapped hot dog to go with my Redd's.  With tip: $16.50.
• Satur Tuesday the 10th: Parked downtown for what would be my last day at this gag.  Still find it weird that I was sent off with a "We'll call you back when we need you," and then they never called back.  Whatever: $8.
• Stopped by Caribou because I got a free size upgrade.  With tip for my medium coffee, priced as a small: $2.50.
• After work I went to the alumni chapter's Plan B place.  Our first game of the season has to be here because it's on a specific network our main bar does not have.  I went there a few times after work to make myself familiar with the people there.  Coors Light at Happy Hour plus tip equals: $4.
• Back to Monday the 9th, where I parked downtown: $8.
• Then I decided to eat at a food truck because, hey, who's going to track my lunch break?  I had heard of O'Cheeze and I waited for several minutes (actually a half-hour total) to get a mac-'n'-cheese sandwich.  It was ... good.  Maybe it would've been good for cheaper somewhere else, but it was good.  With tip the sandwich came out to: $9.88.
• Sunday, July 8 ... I finally had time to see my friend in the cemetery.  Went to the closest floral shop I could find to slap a rose and a carnation together.  The man who helped me was really nice and generous; he knocked off the tax, so I just had to pay a clean: $2.
• ETA on July 18 at 3:15 a.m. that I forgot to put this EWR in: With the Mega Millions jackpot jetting past $200 million, I'm back to getting tickets for Father, for which he pays me back, like he did on this afternoon after I came home.  An Infusion of: $20.
• On Saturday the 7th I decided to mix up my World Cup-watching routine.  There were three main places I watched the World Cup, and these three places are the ones where I usually watch soccer once the club season begins: Brit's, The Local, and the Nomad.  But on this day, the second of back-to-back Doubleheader Quarterfinals, I switched it up ... mostly because the American Swedish Institute was hosting a watch party for the first match of the day, Sweden vs. England.  England won, and easily, but I have always wanted to go to this museum, and this WC Watch Party was the perfect excuse to see the mansion and try their version of the Bloody Mary, which the lauded restaurant, Fika, calls the Bloody Swede.  (They use aquavit and beet juice instead of vodka and tomato juice.  It has a brighter color of red, but it was a bit too sweet and smooth for my taste.)  If you attended the match (which, I have to say, cut out from time to time; this was taking place in the auditorium upstairs, but they had to use an online stream of the game, and it lagged when buffering on several occasions), you got free admission into the mansion.  And I'm glad I did.  The mansion is OK, a standing relic to the Swede that built the mansion.  But there was an accompanying exhibition by a Finnish sculptor named Kim Simonsson.  He is known for pieces of stubby-looking children he calls "Moss People," for the velvety finish he sprays on this sculptures before he fires them up in the kiln.  Check out the work; his "kids" are a combination of cute and creepy.  But the ingenious thing about the exhibit is that his pieces were just dotted conspicuously over this conservative and staid mansion.  For example, there is a recreation of the mansion's dining room ... but there is Simonsson's sculpture of a girl splashing into a puddle on the dining room table, and an alien-looking being with sharp "ears" and that moss-like skin sitting next to the fireplace.  These out-of-place works were just dropped willy-nilly all over the mansion, and thus these eerie kids are even eerier.  Genius, AmSwed Institute!  Oh ... I forgot that I put the Bloody Swede on my credit card.  Anyway, for the second game, Russia versus Croatia, I went over to the Town House on University Ave. in St. Paul.  It was recently bought and will be turned into a soccer pub, but right now it's still an LGBTQ bar.  And it still isn't much of a soccer pub either; there were many screens, but all of them seemed to be smaller than 30", except for the projection screen, and it had so many reception issues that it was pixelated and frozen most of the match.  Hope the new owners get bigger TVs and a bigger antenna.  Oh, I hope they make good on taking credit cards.  I had a late lunch and ordered some bar food combo, but they didn't take credit cards, so I had to use cash even though I didn't want to on this day.  With a Michelob Golden Draft on tap and tip the whole shebang cost me: $12.50.
• I got up and left after Russia tied the game in Added Extra Time.  Didn't want to see Croatia lose.  So I went home ... well, I went to DQ first to enjoy a sundae.  They have a TV there.  It was tuned to ESPN, and I saw on its crawl that the Croatians survived the Russians on Penalty Kicks.  Phew.  The sundae cost a penny more than it used to: $3.21.
• After that I went home, then went out to "work out."  Really, I went out to Brit's for its United FC Watch Party.  Except there wasn't much of a party; there were no tables available outside and I couldn't eat on the lawn, so I went to the bar to watch the Loons get the shit kicked out of them by Houston without any sound.  Yeah, I need to re-evaluate going here for MNUFC road games.  I charged all my food to my card.  Went to Glam Doll afterward.  Charged the coffee and my first donut, I think.  Tip along with the second donut: $3.75.
• Going back to Friday, July 6 ... downtown parking for work: $8.
• Hit up another food truck because I was working downtown.  This time I went to another lauded food truck, Tacocat.  Their street tacos were ... good.  With tip: $9.
• Went to our alumni club's main place to say hi and grab a Bud Light.  With tip: $3.
• Wednesday, the 4th of July: Tooled around at home, ate a light breakfast, then lit out to Caffetto to work on my computer over a Dang! butterscotch root beer.  Nice pop.  With tip: $2.75.
• My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Version) was open for the day and was closing at 6.  I stopped by there before the Loons game.  No dances, just a Sprite and stage tips.  Saw an old stripper who hadn't danced there in months because she's transitioning into real estate.  She was scared that she was going to subconsciously walk up the stairs and start taking her clothes off, hah!  Total: $8.
• MNUFC ... dollar dog (they don't seem to be much different from the regular dog; are they not the same?) and Redd's: $10.50.
• Realized the game ended before fireworks usually lit up the sky.  But I couldn't really go home immediately after the match (where the Loons had to hold on for dear life to be Toronto, 4-3) because I told my parents I was seeing fireworks with a friend.  But I knew that Caffetto would be open and immune to any holiday shenanigans.  So I went there a second time (the first time I've ever done that at Caffetto) for a Bubble-Up (a Sprite-like drink I always had when I was a child) and a piece of chocolate cake.  With tip it set me back: $7.
• Tuesday the 3rd was the final day of the World Cup Round of 16 (which I like to call the Eighthfinals).  I was kind of perturbed I was furloughed for that day from work, but that meant I could spend the entire day at the Nomad taking in both games.  So I threw in enough dollars at the parking station so I didn't have to move my car for either game.  I thought I was going to be given full reimbursement for which I would use to buy a Bloody Karenina (their version of a Bloody Mary; tastes like a Bloody Mary but spicier), but the bartender (who, and I will expound on her, was fucking hot, yow!) gave me that drink without giving me back the dollar which would make up the difference between what I paid for parking at that Bloody Karenina with a dollar tip.  In other words, she took a dollar from me.  Oh well; I made up for that by ordering a Tecate tallboy and something from the food truck outside in time for the second game, Colombia-England.  I was going to give two bucks' tip for all of that, but I reduced that to one to make up for being ripped off for the first game, Switzerland-Sweden.  For this, things balanced out.  Total for all was a pretty good for six straight hours: $15.75.
• And after that I went to the library to print out some stuff.  Total: 30 cents.

Phew!  Good through July 16.