Hottest Babe In The Hooters Calendar: January 2023

First of all, I have to say that I cannot believe that I'd be buying Hooters calendars, let alone evaluating all the hot women in them, for the past four years.  This wasn't even in my frickin' radar until, I guess (can't remember) a Hooters waitress goading me into buying one in exchange for, I guess, a free beer when I went in that day.

With that being said, this month is, surprisingly and disconcertingly, very underwhelming for me.  I have kept looking at the ten waitresses for the whole month of January and part of February and I find myself not really getting enthused about any of them.  Don't get me wrong, they're all gorgeous.  But compared with some of the other photos from past months and years, this month is comprehensively lacking.  Hate to say it, but this might be the worst month of babes I've seen in a Hooters calendar.

Every one of the ten has some flaw that puts each of them and their photos a clear cut below all of the ones I at least have pointed out in previous months.  For example, the main girl, Megan of Melborne, Fla., is cute, but she has both her arms fully wrapped tightly against her body, significantly hiding her tight belly from us.  Ireland, out of Madeira Beach, Fla., shows off a nice figure and has a Jenny Ortega vibe to her, but Jenny Ortega is a hell of a lot younger than me, so I'm just going to avoid looking at her so that I don't get into trouble.  There's Orlando's Portia, and she looks familiar enough that I believe I have seen her in previous calendars, and probably ranked her as well.  But for some godawful reason she's in a red one-piece bikini.  She might as well be in a burqa since she's hiding all her goods.

The drawbacks continue.  Gwyn of Kennesaw, Ga., is wearing a skimpy black two-piece, but she's way too flat for my taste, plus she's not smiling.  Also looking as if she hated doing a photoshoot are Emily of Orange Park, Fla. and Nova of Alcoa, Tenn.  Finally on my list of honorable mention-as damning by faint praise is Mariah, hailing from Clearwater, Fla.  She's sporting a white two-piece, and her sideways lounging pose would be arousing if not for her left arm hiding a good portion of her stomach.  Also, I have to say, her face looks kind of old.  Maybe if I saw her in a Hooters uniform I'd get hard over her MILF vibes, but it doesn't work for me in a swimsuit setting.

If I am going to put anyone in first place for this month, I will select Kya, out of Houma, La.  I hate that she too is hugging herself in her picture; her arms are covering way more of her stomach than the others of the month.  And I also think she's a bit on the elderly side.  The only thing I like about her, and the only physical characteristic that makes her stand out from all the others, is that she seems to have a big pair of tits.

You may have heard the adage, "In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king."  Well, same scenario applies here.  Congratulations to Kya for winning what may be The Worst Month In Hooters Calendar History.  Unfortunately, I don't know if I can get turned on enough to masturbate to any of these women.  Sorry.