Goodbye, Twitter/X, Hello, Bluesky

The election shouldn't have prompted me to do it, but I'm far from the only one.  I had heard good things about it from time to time in the months leading up to last Tuesday, but I didn't really consider jumping from the dominant social media platform to one of these upstarts.  For one, I got what I needed from Twitter/X: Engagement, smart people promoting their smart things, and jokes and dunks on stupid people.

But I knew that I was liking and reposting under a company owned by Elon Musk, a guy I once thought was cool but had turned into a thoughtless, id-driven man-child who only talked shit about the concept of "free speech."  I didn't see all the hateful comments others saw, but I kept many of my settings private and largely stayed in my own lane.  Still, yes, Election Day was the final straw.  I also knew in the back of my mind that he was using his highly-leveraged platform to, uh, platform, racists and vile Republicans in order to tip the balance of races on Election Day in Republicans' favor, and goddammit, it worked.  It took this to fully realize I am monetizing myself for that asshole, and that was enough.

I need to be honest, though: Since devoting my attention over to Bluesky, the thing I miss the least was all those fucking ads.  And it's always the same one: That game where you shoot at something with a flashing number on it, and that number keeps going down.  Meanwhile, there are hordes of people coming at little old you, and the demonstration shows the object of the game is to ... well, survive, I guess?  Anyway, that was, like, every third tweet I saw, and even though I click on "Not interested in this ad," nowadays I still see that ad.  (By the way, I believe it's the same company that came out with a different type of game promoted on X/Twitter that I actually signed up for.  The gameplay was nothing, and I repeat, nothing like the promoted ad on X/Twitter.  I am so goddamn pissed that I gave these bait-and-switchers my personal information for a shitty lie.)  No doubt that that cesspool was where the racists and sexists lived because Musk invited them back.  But, I was most annoyed by the ads ...

... of which there are none on Bluesky.  I remember having that platform recommended on a local news website by a commenter.  Last Wednesday or Thursday, seeing how I was engaging for Musk, I decided to look around and, after looking around real quick, I signed up.  It is growing at breakneck speed.  So far, many people poking around Bluesky liken it to the younger, more innocent days of Twitter, where there were no ads to avoid, and no Republicans there to try to get you going.  Since it still is in an embryonic state (even though it's been around for several years now), people are trying to instill a "culture" there that's directly the opposite of the one in the old place, one that demands inclusion and thoughtfulness, and one where Republican trolls are easily and routinely blocked.

I like it so far, mainly because it looks a lot like Twitter/X, just without the baggage.  The easy block features sets up situations where posters congregate in their own bubbles, but quite frankly, the "public square" aspect of X/Twitter has just turned into firehoses of disinformation from people whose handles end in a string of ten digits, so I don't really care if I'm in an echo chamber.  It's good for my mental health.  But at some point there will be a controversial topic I am fascinated with, and I will wonder how ... uh, tolerant the place will be if I sincerely ask something I don't know, or state a minority opinion.  I don't mind debate on social media.  I just want that debate to happen in good faith, and I know that's no longer happening in Arkham Asylum over there.  That's why I am severely limiting my eyeball viewing on Twitter.  I won't shut down my account(s) because I think I would give my paper trail to Musk, so I will just lurk and not repost or publish anything original over there anymore.

So far, the vibes are good at Bluesky.  There's a mixture of relief over escaping a hellsite that just realized its worst fears and basest instincts combined with a happiness that there seems to be a community of millions that look forward to something new, happier, and free from pain.  I think all correct-minded Americans need that right now.  Of course, maybe Bluesky isn't meant to last.  After all, I think it's owned by a tech bro -- just like Twitter was before that dude sold out to Elon Musk.

WHY IN THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING THIS, PRESIDENT BIDEN?!?!?!

He insulted him personally.  He holds no respect for him.  He demanded the Department Of Justice investigate his sun, Hunter, for crimes even though he's not supposed to interfere.  And he threatened to withhold much-needed weaponry if Ukraine President Volodymyr Zelenskyy didn't lie and say he had evidence as to Hunter Biden's wrongdoing.

Worst of all, when he lost (fair and square, by the way) four years ago, he didn't meet with Biden in the Oval Office.  SO WHY IN THE GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING HELL IS PRESIDENT BIDEN MEETING THAT CORRUPT SON-OF-A-BITCH AT THE OVAL OFFICE TODAY?!?!?!  You may believe in the peaceful transfer of power, President Biden, but he doesn't.  Remember that he sent his goons to invade the U. S. Capitol when he lost, an act befitting both a tyrant and a little bitch.  So why?  To show you're above it all?  To set an example??  To show that democracy can continue to reign over America when we all know he will destroy it once he's sworn in???  To try and change him????

Goddammit!!!  This asshole deserves no respect, which is more than he ever gave you.  Why do this?

WHY?!?!?!?!

And Now We're Well And Truly Fucked

I saw on a skeet on Bluesky (more on that some other time) that because of some congressional district in that turncoat fucking state of Arizona, those fucking Republicans will get control of the House, too.

So those MAGAts got the House, they got the Senate, and they got the presidency.  It's like from 2017-9, except that Trump knows what he's doing now, goddammit.

American democracy has just died.  We're just scrambling to save anything at this point.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#-1: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -2).  Wisconsin still hasn't returned to its lofty heights of yore, so this remains a lopsided rivalry.  Still, it's kind of impressive that this club went into Madison and swept the Badgers, who received votes in the polling, over the weekend by identical 3-2 scores, extended their winning streak to eight tilts.  And considering the relative unimpressive Wins by the other local teams this screening Week, that's good enough for the top spot in this Week's survey.

That winning streak should extend even further this weekend as they have a home-and-home series with Bemidji St. (here Thursday, there Saturday).

#-2: Wild (Last Week: -1).  A 5-1 defeat at home to Los Angeles on Tuesday, the team's first real clunker of the season, and a 2-1 Overtime Loss in Chicago last/Sunday night, bookend matching 5-2 victories on the road over San Jose and Anaheim.  So why are these guys second in the WMNSS?  Somehow, they are tied for the second-most Points in the NHL, matching defending Stanley Cup champs Florida and trailing only The Bastard Atlanta Thrashers.  That's the insulation a hot start gets you, but it's startlingly good nevertheless.

The Wild are relatively quiet this Week as they stay at the X -- it's Montreal Thursday, The Team That Was Stolen From Us Saturday.

#-3: Vikings (Last Week: -5).  Won 12-7 at Jacksonville on Sunday.  The Jaguars' starting QB, Trevor Lawrence, couldn't play this Game. Their Head Coach might have been playing for his job.  Mac Jones started under Center, for God's sake.  And the Vikes were bailed out by virtue of four Field Goals by Kicker John Parker Romo, who was signed to the team only this Week because their starting Kicker, Will Reichard, had to go on Injured Reserve because of a quad injury.

By Buddha, this was the most unconvincing Vikings Win in recent history.  And it probably can be laid at the feet of Sam Darnold, who threw three Interceptions and no TDs in Sunday afternoon's contest.  He hasn't been sharp in a while.  My friend on Bluesky just called him "Scam" Darnold, and that is a perfect (and probably already-used) insult for his poor play.

And this is supposed to be the Vikings' soft part of the schedule.  Sure, a Win's a Win.  But can they somehow play more competently Sunday at Tennessee against The Bastard Houston Oilers?

#-4: Gopher women's basketball (NEW SEASON!!).  It also feels as though the college basketball season start date varies from Year to Year.  This Year it came faster than I thought, the first Week of November.  What hasn't changed is colleges from power conferences starting their seasons playing pushovers at home.  And like clockwork, the University of Minnesota women's basketball team starting out of the gates 2-0, throttling Central Connecticut St. by 41 on Monday and crushing Vermont by 22 on Friday.

Minnesota clearly isn't in the top echelon of teams making a postseason run.  They may not be in the middle.  And that's a shame for a school that took the state by storm during that Final Four run twenty seasons ago.  Women's basketball has hit the accelerator, and its popularity will not slow down or go back, ever.  This is the time of the maturity of the sport where casual fans are buying in.  I believe that programs that meet the moment by having teams that are really good right now are going to have a lot of fans that will propel their brand for some period of time.  South Carolina is doing that as back-to-back champs.  UConn is doing that as the elder statesman program of the sport.  I think my alma mater is striking while the iron is hot with a loaded team.  Minnesota isn't on that level.  But, for what it's worth, they did make it to the WNIT title Game (where they lost to Saint Louis).  And while they didn't get any transfers of note, the nucleus of that squad has come back.  So I expect the U. to make it to the NCAAs this Year.

After hosting Massachusetts - Lowell Tuesday, the club will actually hit the road this non-con season, travelling to Tempe, Ariz., this weekend to participate in the Briann January Classic.  They will play Oregon St. Saturday afternoon and SMU Sunday afternoon.

#-5: Gopher men's basketball (NEW SEASON!!).  Stating out their season with a lot less hype, the Gopher men ballers are also 2-0.  But while they destroyed Oral Roberts at Williams Arena Wednesday by a score of 80-57, they somehow had to survive Nebraska-Omaha Saturday, 68-64.  Ben Johnson overachieved at times with last season's squad, and they have Dawson Garcia back this Year.  But you can't say your program has turned a corner if you barely beat UNO by four at home.

They stay at home this screening Week with contests versus North Texas Wednesday and Yale Saturday.

#-6: Timberwolves (Last Week: -6).  They were cruising along this screening Week, defeating Charlotte, Chicago (in Chicago) and Portland by double digits.  And then Fourth Quarter fuck-ups bedeviled the Wolves last/Sunday night in a 95-94 come-from-ahead Loss to Miami at Target Center.  And now, at 6-4, they are in a five-way tie for sixth place in The NBA's Western Conference.  That's the reason these guys are so low here this Week.  That West is so competitive, one person thought these guys will be battling for a playoff spot.  Can that be true?

I know I should talk about the Karl-Anthony Towns trade, but maybe some other time.

The Group Stage for The NBA Cup begins in earnest this Week.  They're going to Portland for back-to-back Games vs. the Trail Blazers tomorrow/Tuesday and Wednesday, but only the Tuesday match-up counts for The NBA Cup.  They travel to Sacramento Friday, then they return home Sunday afternoon to play Phoenix as part of the Group Stage schedule.

#-7: Gopher football (Last Week: 0).  There are several big things that affect college football in ways it doesn't quite in the NFL: Emotion (mostly in the form of personal animosity), momentum, and lassitude.  I don't know if the last two had anything to do with the Goofers' 26-19 upset Loss at Rutgers on Saturday.  But the Quarterback leading the Scarlet Knights to the victory is Athan Kaliakmanis, who was the U.'s starting QB last Year before transferring.  He went 17-of-33 for 240 Yards, and three Touchdowns (and one Interception).  Rutgers is 5-4 on the season and 2-4 in the B1G, so the only reason Minnesota lost, IMHO, is that Kaliakmanis was fired up to stick it to his old team.  And he did.

All isn't lost.  They host Penn St., but they have a Week to prepare for them.  An eight-Win season still is at hand.

#-8: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -3).  Goddamn, what happened to this team this weekend?  At home, they lost to unranked Washington in four Sets on Thursday and then got swept by 12th-ranked Oregon Saturday.  This weekend cements, to me, the continuing slide into meh-goodness the once-aspirational University of Minnesota volleyball program has now become.  Forget finally winning that elusive national championship; Final Fours are out of the question, for this Year and many Years to come.  By God, seeing these results, reaching the second weekend of the NCAA Tournament is going to be the best they can do.  And really, Keegan Cook, that shouldn't be enough.

At second-ranked Nebraska Thursday (good luck with that), hosting Michigan Sunday.

Aunt's Not Doing Good

Huge family gathering at the cemetery this afternoon.  Ironic, sadly so, because my aunt isn't doing good.  Her son/My cousin says that since she slipped and fell, she hasn't been eating.  And when he answered my question, he looked worried.  Plus, my sister noticed that he was crying.

I don't want to come back to this cemetery so soon.

Urges: One More Day ... OK, Maybe Two More Days

In the mad scramble to prepare for my sister and brother-in-law coming here, I needed to take my jerk-off towel to my storage unit.  My sister never comes into my room anymore.  She thinks it smells.  On the hand I'm upset that she finds me so repellent that way.  On the other ... well, that means that she won't touch my shit and will leave me alone, and I always will like that.

Now, with that being said, I am paranoid enough to think that she would go into my room and peep around when I was away at work, just to be nosy or if my fucking parents goad her into doing it.  And it's not as if there's a lock in the closet.  She could have just opened it and smelled it and saw it right there.  And come to think of it, I find it very weird to try and rub one out while they're in the room on the other side of the wall.  Maybe that was the reason why I took it out of here.

Anyway, I have been able to refrain from masturbation for the past week-and-a-half or so.  Moreover, it's been pretty easy, "thanks," I guess, to my slowing libido.  There's this one chick on Zishy I have been obsessing over tonight, though.  I just found out she has an Instagram and an OnlyFans; maybe I'll be able to check her out once my sis and bro-in-law leave -- and not have the urge to wank before then.

---

Meanwhile, I'll confess, I have not been, uh, evacuating my bowels a lot since they got here.  I don't think that has anything to do with them being here; my body just goes through cycles like that.  Until now, thankfully.  I've had my first, um, productive evacuation in a long, long time.  I don't think I ate anything out of the ordinary yesterday/Saturday -- just Chinese food and wonton soup.  I don't consider them to be fiber-rich foods, so I don't exactly know why I had a good bowel movement now.  Maybe it was just time.  If so, good, because I haven't felt this good since at least Tuesday!

Too Busy Weekend

I already told my sister and brother-in-law my, uh, misgivings this weekend.  I understand that we need to do stuff while they're here.  But this is a lot, and with all the work I do during the weekend, this doesn't feel like I can rest, you know?  I'm not a fan of waking up early to do things when I don't have to do, but that's what I'm doing both right now and tomorrow -- even though, yes, this is stuff I want to do.  It is tiring as all get out.

But hey, family.  So I'll see you tomorrow, I think.

Still In A Daze

It feels as though people are freaking out more now than they did in 2016.  I think eight years ago was more horrible because this was the first time this fucking freak show was foisted upon the correct-minded among us.  But, maybe the idea that people who lived through Trump's first installation in the office actually liked it and voted for him again is good enough reason to in fact believe 2024 is worse.

Seriously, though, I need to unplug.  I totally understand the negativity and the need to process, but for me, coping has to be done away from the TV and from talk radio.  A week ago I wasn't looking forward to spending a long weekend with family, but I do now -- well, until they get on my last damn nerve.

And I just scared myself into thinking that My Mother will say that the rental I reserved is too small.

Democracy Has Died; We Are A Broken Nation

So after I blog posted my previous blog post I got a push notification from my phone that Wisconsin went to That Fucking Guy.  That he won, as soon (remember that Biden took Pennsylvania and thus the presidency four days later, on Saturday) as he did overnight, makes me suspicious, frankly.  Hey, it all depends on the conspiracy theories that are true.  Fifteen million votes fewer for Harris than for Biden?  Did they all not vote for her?

I cannot believe that this fucking asshole, who was convicted of 30+ felonies, who is a rapist, who broke the law to steal the presidency back in 2016, and who is a stupid asshole who can't even get through a speech without going into a demented fugue state, "won" again.  Don't even believe he won fair and square here, either.  There were bomb threats in polling places in Georgia and Pennsylvania; they were traced to, duh-duh-duh, Russia.  That Fucking Guy had meetings with Netanyahu; I will totally believe he made a deal with Trump to not agree to a ceasefire in Gaza just to make Biden look bad.  And from 2016, the Original Sin of foreign election interference and conspiracy, the people who were brainwashed into voting for him then voted for him again.  That's still foreign election interference in my mind.

But the overriding takeaway from this election is that this country simply is not willing to make a woman its president, especially one of color.  It is not a surprise that America remains deeply sexist and racist, but the ramifications of those deep-seated prejudices on such an important event, when the other choice is that piece of shit, is still shocking, and sad.  Harris is immensely qualified, smart, diplomatic, and doesn't dance like a bobblehead for 30 minutes.  But Trump's a white guy, so he has to win.

We can't forgot the media apparatus surrounding Republicans.  There is a behemoth of a cable station, several radio networks, and now goddamn podcasts all supporting that gutless cult of a party.  It's scary to think that Joe Rogan (who has daughters, by the way) may have played kingmaker.  The guy from Fear Factor played kingmaker?

With that being said, commenters who are doing post-mortems unanimously believe Biden would have done worse.  I will not agree.  If America is so sexist and racist and selfish and hypocritical that it would reject an accomplished Senator such as Kamala Harris for a guy in his eighties who gave a blowjob to a microphone, isn't there a possibility that pushing out a White guy, Joe Biden, for Harris was a mistake?  Hey, this move backfired on us.  Maybe Biden should have stayed.  I think he could have won.

I need to end this or else I'll start throwing things.

Yeah, This Is Feeling As Bad As Eight Years Ago

I don't want to rehash how I was feeling, but it was eerily similar to how I felt tonight, and being in a bar with like- and correct-minded people did not help with my anxiety and fear at all.

One thing I have noticed, however.  The doomsaying I am seeing now, as accurate as it probably is, was something I didn't see four years ago.  Why?  I can't just explain it away by the pandemic ... can I?  I was unable to congregate anywhere public, obviously, but I remember that on the Saturday after Election Day, when Pennsylvania and the presidency was called for Joe Biden, that I was helping to set up the Vikings Game at U. S. Bank Stadium.  I don't think the euphoria I felt then was reflected by any bonhomie on Election Night four days before.  But it was four years ago, so I could be wrong.

What I am hoping is that, like four years ago, the tabulations won't be done for a while.  Things weren't looking great for Biden this time in 2020, but then states began counting mail-in votes and the totals from the big cities started to pile in.  Maybe it could come sooner, and there are significant headwinds Harris is encounter now.  But I am hoping beyond hope that there is a blue tsunami, or a blue-nami, that will save us from ourselves.

With that said, I haven't looked on social media yet, so maybe democracy's already dead.  Who knows?

I've Had A Bad Day Since, Oh, Dinner Or So

Dinner at home last night was great.  But I ate at a Brazilian steakhouse Sunday night, so I'm already full, plus I have been fat for a while, so what we had last night isn't helping the waistline.  And I won't be going to the gym anytime soon, I'm afraid.

I was leading in all three of my fantasy football teams, including the one I care about because I have money in it, the one in which I have money.  But then Monday Night Football went into Overtime and Kareem Hunt scored the Game-ending Touchdown.  My opponent had Kareem Hunt.  He came back to win.  The guy I just choked away the lead to was winless until last night.  I still lead him in the standings, but I'm next-to-last in the league.  I checked, by the way; I was good four years ago.  That's the only reason I haven't thrown myself off the roof of my house.

Just woke up from a nightmare where, for some reason, I climbed a tree, then realized I was really high up and I froze because I'm afraid of heights.  People offered to climb up to help me.  One dude tried and fell to the ground; I don't know what happened to him.  The others helped me down -- quickly, actually, so quickly that I realized when I got down on the ground that I wasn't as high up as I thought I was.  Whoops.

Oh, and today's Election Day.  Will we still have a democracy after tonight?  Who bleepin' knows?

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

Positive Numbers: United FC (Re-Entry!).  I need to give some love to the Loons -- mostly because I decided to go to St. Paul and watch their Game instead of seeing my alumni lose at a bar.  MNUFC spared me a night of frustration and heartache.  Instead, I got to watch my hometown side sweep and upset Real Salt Lake in their First Round Series, something I didn't think would happen this season.

Now, to be fair, both Games reached Penalty Kicks after the squads finished regular time tied (scoreless in Tuesday's Game 1 in Salt Lake City, at 1 after Game 2).  PKs are the worst tie-breakers in world sport (with the possible exception of college football, but hey, when you see Dayne St. Clair stop two shots right in your line of sight, you gotta be happy.  It's rare for a local team to win in a clutch situation.  It's also rare to see them win as an underdog.  And, now that I think about it, this is the first time MNUFC has won a playoff Game at home in front of fans (they beat The Colorado Rapids at Allianz Field in the First Round of the 2020 MLS Cup Playoffs, but that was the pandemic, so no one was there to watch them win).  So, for all those reasons (but mostly for justifying my decision to see them instead of my alma mater), I am not only putting them at the top perch of the survey, but also above negative numbers.

Now for the sucky news: Due to the International Break as well as Major League Soccer spreading out this round's Game 3's till next weekend (of which there will be four), United FC's Conference Semifinal matchup, a one-Match-only setup at The Los Angeles Galaxy, won't be played until Saturday the 23rd.  It seems as though MLS's postseason always drags on like this.  Wonder if this is one of the reasons the league is thinking about flipping its calendar to August-May, matching pretty much every other country on Earth.  I think that's a huge mistake because I don't want to be freezing my dick off in early February.  In fact, I might be forced to sell my season ticket if MLS decides to do that.

#0: Gopher football (Last Week: 0).  After some early struggles, P. J. Fleck has gotten this team to buy in and turn things around.  They beat Illinois in Champaign, 25-17, on Saturday, notching their fourth consecutive victory and reaching their E- (Eligibility) Day in early November.  Also of note: This is the first time Bret Bielema has ever lost to the U.  Ha!

And let's look over the horizon real quick: They visit flaccid Rutgers Saturday.  After a Week off, they host Penn St., who, after losing at home to Ohio St., ain't all that.  They finish up the season at Madison Black Friday, and they're not great shakes, either.  The vibes are good around the gridiron Gophers right now; why can't this team run the table and finish 9-3?  They probably won't make the College Football Playoff, but a New Year's Day Bowl probably is in the offing.  And that's why these guys are above negative numbers as well.

#-1: Wild (Last Week: -5).  This hamstrung outfit somehow has the third-most Points in the National Hockey League after sweeping all three contests they had this screening Week: At Pittsburgh (in what is Marc-Andre Fleury's final appearance at his old stomping ground), then at home over Tampa and, in Overtime, Toronto.  Kirill Kaprisov, who usually starts seasons off slow, is as hot as a two-buck pistol, and is getting very early Hart Trophy consideration.  But I like their trajectory because they just passed The Bastard North Stars to reach third place overall.

They've got a very busy week coming up. The Wild finish up their three-Game homestand Tuesday vs. Los Angeles, then go out for a quick three-Game road trip: Back-to-back at San Jose and Anaheim Thursday and Friday, then at Chicago Sunday.

#-2: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -2).  A two-Game sweep of ranked Penn St. at home over the weekend to start conference play is surely good.  And ... that's all I got to say about that.  At Wisconsin for two this weekend.

#-3: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -1).  Back-to-back sweeps of the Michigan, and both on the road?  That's surely good, too.  And ... that's all I got to say about that as well.  They host the Pacific Northwest schools this weekend (that would be Washington on Thursday and tenth-ranked Oregon on Saturday afternoon).

#-4: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: -3).  Swept Bemidji St. in Bemidji over the weekend.  That's surely good ... but it's Bemidji St., so who cares?  At Minnesota-Duluth over the weekend.

#-5: Vikings (Last Week: -6).  Well, at least they got off the schneid and ended their two-Game losing streak by beating The Bastard Baltimore Colts in Sunday Night Football.  Still, I'm not really impressed with this club right now.  I think the Defense really wasn't tested because Indianapolis really isn't a good squad.  Moreover, I think we have seen the ceiling of what Sam Darnold can do.  He was responsible for all three Turnovers the Vikes committed (even though the Fumble was a result of the Colts defender clubbing Darnold across the facemask, which is illegal).  He has trouble making reads and opts for the home run ball when the checkdown is the much better option.

Sunday night started a three-Game stretch where they finish up the AFC South portion of their schedule.  Sunday they visit reeling and lifeless Jacksonville.  After that they visit The Bastard Houston Oilers.  Very weak competition, but they can be 8-2 by the time they play at Chicago.

#-6: Timberwolves (Last Week: -4).  Want to note that overall, it was good Week for local sports.  The seven teams above this line went undefeated, going a perfect 13-0 over the past seven Days.  And that ends here, with the Timberwolves.

Anyway, with the Wolves being firmly his team now, the evolution of Anthony Edwards continues.  He has largely abandoned the mid-range jumper he was known for, and instead has basically taken Karl-Anthony Towns's place in letting it loose from the arc.  It's a healthier shot diet, and so far, he's hitting 43.2% of them.  That's quite good.

Unfortunately it was tough sledding for these guys.  In a Western Conference Finals rematch from last Year, Dallas came into Target Center Tuesday and again beat the Woofs, 120-114.  On Friday they made a hellacious comeback to beat Denver at home.  But playing less than 24 hours later in San Antonio, older and wiser San Antonio took advantage of the club's fatigue and beat them, 113-103.

The T-Wolves have a busy Week as well.  They host Charlotte tonight/Monday night, make a quick stop in Chicago Thursday, come back to host Portland the next night, then play Miami at home Sunday.

#-7: Gopher soccer (Last Week: Positive Numbers).  I was at chilly Robbie Stadium Friday night to watch Minnesota drop their Opening Round tilt versus Penn St., on a Free Kick by Mieke Schiemann with 97 Seconds left to go in the Match.  A gut punch, no doubt; even though I was cold, I wanted to see Extra Time (and in women's college soccer, it appears as though at least the Big Ten relies on an old format of two 10-Minute Extra Time periods before heading to Penalty Kicks and, glory be praised, The Golden Goal).

While that sucked, it looks as though this has not damaged the Gophers' chances of making the NCAA Tournament, which seem to be a lock.  In fact, this bracketologist believes the U. will be part of the top half of the field that will be seeded, specifically a 6-Seed.  We'll see where, and if, Minnesota is going dancing when the 64 teams are selected and placed next Monday.

I Now Hate My Whole Goddamn Family Right Now

I still object to today's plans, even though, thankfully, things have kind of changed.  My sister and brother-in-law are not picking up my niece in Carver County and then going back to St. Paul.  Instead, later this afternoon they are meeting my niece and their parent(s; brother's going, sister-in-law may not be my sister-in-law for all I know) in St. Paul.  Appreciate not taking the car back down there a second straight day.  But my parents and I are still taking the minivan to meet them in downtown St. Paul just a few hours later -- in downtown St. Paul, at the same time as the Wild Game.  And just now, I helped Father load in the removable back seats.  Mother said that if they need to junk the van, they can do so with all the seats in the back.

Wait -- are they junking the car?  She now fucking springs me the news that it's leaking oil and water.  Is the minivan even going to fucking make it to St. Paul?  Is it going to not overheat while it's idling behind a dozen cars full of hockey fans?  And I don't even know if I'm going to find parking on such a busy night. 

And then my parents just told me that they need to use the van on Tuesday, so if my sister needs to fucking take my car, that I have no car on Tuesday.  Where the hell am I going to sleep?  Goddammit, I hate my whole fucking family right now, this is too goddamn much. ...

Aunt Is Hurt

And I heard this morning that my aunt's in the hospital.  Fell and broke her back.  She's got a lot of rehab ahead of her.  How does someone in her eighties do rehab?

Anyway, we are driving down to Carver County, I think right now, to see her.  It's obvious.  But I have to leave in the early evening, get to downtown Minneapolis to make sure the Game is on for all my alumni buddies, than head on over to Midway for the United Match.  And there's also dinner.  And I have about four hours to do this all.  By the way, yes, the car is getting taxed today.  It needs to, also obvious, but considering that I took this to the airport this morning and my sister and brother-in-law are taking it to Carver County tomorrow, this is exactly the work and wear I was afraid the car was going to go through.

Hell, I'll just say it: I kind of resent my sister being here.  I feel as though she's horning in on my space, and that she's staying for only a little while before I have to readjust to her (and my brother-in-law) leaving is only aggravating me even more.  But it's the car that bothers me.  I finally realized something obvious: When I was out in Hawai'i, I never asked to use their car to just drive around.  But while they're here, they're driving my car, and they're driving it everywhere, and they will be driving it so much I am really, really bothered and scared that, at worst, they'll get into an accident and, at best, they'll be tacking on miles and bringing big repairs that much closer to today ... and that will be crap I will have to clean up.

Come to think of it, I gave her use of my car for some, if not most, of the days the last time she visited here, which wasn't too long ago (a year ago?  Two years?), by herself, while the parents had started wintering in Las Vegas.  Does she now feel, for lack of a better word, entitled to the use of my car whenever she's in town?  That cannot be the way this works, and I feel bad if that is the impression I gave her.  But she is coming off as if she can just waltz in to the house and use my car willy-nilly.  I really don't mind if those two tool around the metro area -- within reason.  But going outstate every day while they're here?  Hell no, but that is impression I am getting from her, and I don't know if I need to set her straight.

Anyway, I need to get up in several hours to pick them up at the airport.  Hope the car stays in one piece.

I Don't Know When To Go Out/Don't Know When To Stay In

Adding to my anxiety as my sister and brother-in-law come back home for a week and a half is that for every workday this week, I spent some time out.  With this headache coming tomorrow/Saturday morning (and I mean that in the nicest way), I could have used an evening just to myself, at home.  But I was out instead -- sometimes because I wanted to (I hit this bar in the outskirts of downtown Minneapolis Monday because it had a Halloween theme; I was going to see the Opening Round of The Big Ten Women's Soccer Tournament yesterday/Thursday), sometimes because I had to (had to go to our bar Tuesday to make sure we could watch the Game this Saturday; and I had to stash my shit because My Fucking Father threw it in the recycling bin on Wednesday).  Goddamn, I was so busy.

Today/Friday was going to be my nothing day.  But then *****y texted Wednesday that she was hosting a party, and considering all the stress I had from My Fucking Father making decisions on stuff that wasn't his and from my sister and brother-in-law coming tomorrow/Saturday, I thought a little sexual healing would be good for me.  But then yesterday's/Thursday's snow came.  It sure was no Halloween Blizzard, but it was a lot more than the trace that was forecast to fall in our area.  Because of that, the Matches that were supposed to be played yesterday/Thursday are instead going to be played today/Friday.  And because I love being an in-person neutral for big tournaments like this -- and because I don't know if I can get my money back -- instead of getting my pee-pee yanked, I'll be braving the cold of sitting at the Robbie Stadium bleachers.  And I'll be tired as hell once I get home ... after I have a late dinner and gas up my car.  My sis and bro-in-law come in at 6 in the morning Saturday.

But hey, the headlight bulbs finally came, and in time.  Maybe we won't need a rental car this weekend after all.  Unfortunately, the long line of what-ifs regarding this stupid decision to have dinner in St. Paul around the time the Wild Game starts remains.

Motherfucker Back To His Cruel Ways

I'm just kind of running red right now because Father went through my bedroom and threw everything away.  Well, not everything, but the papers I keep around my bedroom which, for some goddamn reason, has always set him off.  I didn't think he would do it, but the occasion of my sister and brother-in-law gave him an excuse to go on his fucking cleaning jags.

I went home to see my bedroom a lot less, uh, "cluttered" than usual, and then I had to really control my temper in order not to lose it.  I acted passive-aggressively after that -- I had to go out and retrieve two bags of my stuff that motherfucker stuffed into the recycling bin (glad I did that; recycling day's today), I stomped into my sister's room and my former bedroom to find my other stuff, and I didn't eat much dinner (there wasn't much I liked anyway).  I didn't want to start a fight with My Fucking Father, but if My Fucking Father wanted to start a fight, I was ready to meet his challenge.  But he didn't, so I didn't.

And yet my paranoia and anger still wells in me.  I had to alter my plans tonight; I wanted to buy stuff at Target in anticipation of them coming back home, but I had to go to my storage unit to give my stuff safe harbor.  But there is still one big bag of my stuff that, for some fuckin' reason, My Fucking Father put into my old room and not the recycling bin.  He might've thought he couldn't throw it away.  But after I leave in the morning -- and I will leave earlier than I do, and because it's Halloween, I won't be coming back till late -- I could see him going outside, looking into the bin, see that I pulled stuff out (if he hasn't already suspected it), and dumping the rest of my stuff there.  Would he be so cruel?  Yes.  He's My Fucking Father.

The only reason I haven't is because, if he doesn't care enough to look at the bin in the morning, then he has done all he wanted to do, and moving even more stuff into storage is wasted energy when I have other shit I need to do.  But considering this supreme violation, I cannot put anything past him.  He had to fucking escalate again because he has nothing else in his life, that asshole.

Anxiety (Should Be) Rising

Alright, I still don't know if I'm going out to dinner with family Sunday, I don't know if my parents have decided they're going out to dinner with family Sunday, I don't know if the headlight bulbs will be delivered in time to use the minivan for dinner Sunday, I don't know if I should get a rental car to use for dinner on Sunday (and I have to worry whether my parents are not going to freak out about getting a rental car too, but that's another layer of anxiety), and worst of all, I don't know if anybody involved with dinner on Sunday even cares.  I'm afraid this entire damn family is just "playing it by ear" when it comes to dinner on Sunday, and we can't.

Are we doing this or not?  I don't like that I feel as though I need to be the one to initiate conversation.  Yeah, I might be the one who most knows what's going on, and I had to buy the bulbs, and I'm the one going back and forth between my parents and my sister.  But you know, they can talk to each other.  They can make plans.  They can fret over plans, such as dinner on Sunday, and not just me.

So that's what I'm afraid of: Them not caring, me standing my ground and refusing to invest more energy than I already am, and then Sunday rolls around and we can't go because we can't drive the van at night.  So, whose fault is it then?  I'm worried about everything else about them coming; I don't need this, too.

I Have To Admit -- I'm Really Starting To Resent Them Coming Here

Yeah, it's the disruption, the (kind of) lack of privacy, and, once again, my sister's need to make things all about her.  She gets that way sometimes, but mostly on big occasions where she's the center of attention, and it pisses me off.

The last time she was here she wanted all the suitcases we have stowed in her bedroom out of her bedroom, and she wanted all her bedsheets washed.  Now, I think normal family members would of course do that for her, and wouldn't need prompting.  I am not normal.  I could sleep in dusty bedsheets for all I care.  I just need a clean damn bed.  But no, she wants what she and my brother-in-law are going to sleep in all clean and fresh-smelling, even if they're only going to be here a week and a half.

And I think I touched on this before, but this dinner in St. Paul on Sunday is really grinding my gears.  First of all, my sister wants to use my car, and I'm going to give it to her.  Also, it seems really damn inconvenient for one group of people who are staying in this house to go out to St. Paul and then have the people who live in the same house go out to St. Paul later that same day.  And then my folks told me on Saturday that the minivan, the vehicle I will purportedly be using whenever my sister and brother-in-law want to use my car, had its headlights short out.  I had to buy them on Amazon; they might get here before they get here, and they might not.  And on top of all that, I realized that the Wild are playing in St. Paul on Sunday, and around the same time as the early dinner.  I am not that familiar with St. Paul, and now I have to worry about getting stuck in hockey traffic, too??

Once I realized the minivan had no night lights and I'd have to deal with Wild traffic on Sunday, I obsessed over it all day at work yesterday/Monday -- like, distractingly so.  I really do love my sister and brother-in-law, and I really want to spend some time with my niece, who is the reason my sis and bro-in-law are taking my car on Sunday.  But I hate, hate, hate these dinner plans the more I learned what I have to deal with.  I could feel my body well up with rage and anxiety and dread and helplessness because I feel forced to do something I really, really don't want to do.

And then it hit me: If I don't want to go, don't go.  At first that thought was insane.  I don't see my niece a whole lot as it is.  If I don't see her on this opportunity, I don't know when I'll see her again.  Also, has she noticed how seldomly I see her?  If I make the decision not to go, well, she has to know, and what will she think of me?  But as I kept thinking yesterday ... you know, my sister did raise the idea that I didn't have to go.  And I am such an incorrigible bastard that I might say, yeah, screw it, I'll see you guys some other time, tell my niece I say hi.  Frankly, I'm leaning that way right now.  It is selfish and self-centered of me, but once I started being more accepting of that decision, a weight was lifted off of me.  And I would do anything for peace of mind, even ditching family.

So I texted her my concerns.  I asked her if our parents wanted to go to dinner and she said yeah.  Guess I should have talked to them directly since, you know, I live with them.  Anyway, my thoughts are moot if they want to go; I can't not go if they're going.  Then again, their desire to go to dinner on Sunday may be moot if Amazon can't deliver these headlight bulbs in time.  (Yes, they can go to a store to get them, but Father did that on Saturday, and he's so goddamn cheap that when I told him we could get bulbs through Amazon for less than half the price he got them at Wal-Mart, he immediately went back and returned them.)  My sister couldn't foresee this shitshow, but in a shitshow like this, maybe this isn't a good idea, you know?  But these fucking plans are going through, and I have to be the dutiful brother/son and just fucking fall in line, no matter the stress and stupidity of the whole thing.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

Positive Numbers: Gopher soccer (Last Week: Positive Numbers).  It has been an impressive screening Week for Gopher sports.  In fact, it may be The Best Screening Week In University Of Minnesota Sports History because the teams at the U. I cover for the WMNSS went a combined 8-0 over the past seven Days.

They are led by the Golden Gopher footballers, who have finally broken through with some notable success under Head Coach Erin Chastain.  They finished up the regular season beating 11th-ranked Iowa, 2-1, the Match-winner coming from Sophia Boman from the spot in the 65th Minute.  Two big benchmarks come with that victory.  The Gophers complete their first undefeated season at home, with seven Wins, two Draws and no Losses, since 2008.  And by downing the Hawkeyes, it's the first time Minnesota beat two teams ranked in the top 15 when they defeated them (the other being then-eighth-ranked Ohio St., 3-2, at Columbus on Oct. 10) in the same season ever.  Those accolades certainly are enough to keep them at the top perch for the survey, and in Positive Numbers as well.

Now, they did finish only as the 7-Seed, and they will play the Opening Round Halloween night versus the 10-Seed, perennial power (though maybe not this Year) Penn St.  Beat the Nittany Lions and the 2-Seed, UCLA, is next Sunday afternoon.  But the XI's on a three-Game winning streak and their first NCAA Tournament appearance under Chastain is all but certain.  Things are, finally, looking up for this program!

#0: Gopher football (Re-Entry!).  Got to be honest: The doomsaying parts of the fanbase are real quiet since the Second Half Debacle vs. Iowa.  This squad has now won three in a row after a thorough 48-23 pasting of Maryland Saturday afternoon for Homecoming.  (That this is the same Terrapins club that came back to defeat my alma mater makes me boil over with rage over how underachieving my team is this Year.)  I also have to be honest in noting how much of a stud Koi Perich has been.  The Esko native is one of the locals P. J. Fleck and the program need to keep home.

Early Saturday afternoon they play Illinois.  Illini Head Coach Bret Bielema is undefeated against Minnesota, spanning tenures in Wisconsin as well as Illinois.  Will that change this season?

#-1: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -4).  Sweeps are better than reverse sweeps.  (By the way, if you don't know, a reverse sweep is when the winning team comes back from a 2-0 Set deficit to win.  I feel as though the term "reverse sweep" is gaining steam as a part of the volleyball lexicon.  If and when it reaches that point, I will capitalize it to Reverse Sweep.)  But also, a Win is a Win, and the Gophers did climb out of that hole to defeat Ohio St. on the road on yesterday/Sunday afternoon.  (Looking at the box score, the details of the Game are kind of strange: Set 3, the tipping point Set won by Minnesota, was 25-22, but the other four Sets, in my estimation, weren't close.)  Add a compulsory sweep at home over Northwestern on Wednesday, and the team is 14-6 overall and 7-3 in the league with a trip to the Michigan colleges this weekend.  Not a bad run of form the team's on right now.

#-2: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -2).  I still feel a bit ... I guess sad that Minnesota now has a second university that will be all-top-flight (well, football is a different beast, but they're Division I in everything else) regardless of sport.  The upshot to that is there will now be a definite big brother/little brother dynamic that will play out whenever the University of Minnesota plays St. Thomas.  The men's hockey teams had a two-Game series over the weekend, and the U. played their presumed role of, well, the U., laying waste to the Tommies at Mariucci Friday, 7-1, then doing so against at The Xcel Energy Center Saturday, 6-2.  One can't really call it a rivalry until St. Thomas is able to stand up and beat the Gophers with some regularity.  Meanwhile, these group of icers start B1G play with a pair at home against Penn St.

#-3: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: -5).  I've rehashed how disappointed I am with this program in last Week's WMNSS, and beating the hell out of Minnesota State-Mankato in a home-and-away series by a combined 11-4 score does not change that.  This weekend's series at Bemidji St. won't, either.

#-4: Timberwolves (NEW SEASON!!).  And now we get to the non-U. of M. portion of The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey.  And we'll start with the Timberwolves, who start off possibly The Most Promising Season In Minnesota Timberwolves History, fresh off their tantalizing run that was inexplicably stopped in a five-Game series Loss in The Western Conference Finals to The Dallas Mavericks, who in turn were beaten in five Games by The Boston Celtics in The NBA Finals.  But I'm not mad.

The season started Tuesday on a rancid note, losing to The Team That Was Stolen From Us v.1.0, 110-103, featuring a most hackneyed and contrived moment of history theater when Bronny James went onto the court to play with his father, LeBron, marking the first time in NBA history a father and a son were on the same court together.  But the T-Wolves have righted the ship since, escaping Sacramento Thursday with a 117-115, come-from-behind Win and then beating Toronto, 112-101 in the raucous home opener on Saturday.  It is not lost on me that I have yet to give my thoughts on the trade sending Karl-Anthony Towns to New York.  I will do that some other time, when I have time.  But I will say that integrated Julius Randle will take some time, yet there is no time to waste in integrating him, and seeing he just set the record for Most Points In His First Three Games In A Timberwolves Uniform is a positive step.

This Week: A rematch with Dallas at Target Center tomorrow/Tuesday night, home to Denver Friday, at San Antonio Saturday.

#-5: Wild (Last Week: -1).  Well, the club's record for Most Time To Start A Season Never Trailing had to end at some point, and it did during Minnesota's 4-2 victory over the Lightning in Tampa Bay Thursday.  They then lost their first tilt in regulation, a crazy 7-5 affair at Philadelphia on Saturday.  That the screening Week began Tuesday with a thorough 5-1 domination of The Defending Stanley Cup Champion Florida Panthers (still can't fucking believe Miami has got the Stanley Cup before Minnesota), and there is a noticeable digression in the squad's fortunes, even if they sit third in The Central Division.

This Week they finish their long road trip (seven Games, and it's their first road contests of the season at that) in Pittsburgh tomorrow/Tuesday.  They finally come home to St. Paul for three, starting with a return date with the Lightning Friday and Toronto Sunday.

#-6: Vikings (Last Week: -3).  OK, now's the time to panic.  I said last Week that they should beat the Rams.  They still should have, but they didn't, losing 30-20 Thursday mostly because the Defense, which we lauded Brian Flores for not too long ago, has turned into fucking swiss cheese.  (The no-call on the facemask Penalty on Sam Darnold that otherwise resulted in a Safety was absolutely goddamn horrendous, but remember that even if it were called, the Vikes were still down by eight and they still had more than 80 Yards to get into the End Zone.)  Worst of all, Christian Darrisaw tore his ACL and his MCL in the Game and is out for the Year.  He was the stalwart set-it-and-forget-it blindside Tackle every team needs to ensure success, and now he gone.  Forget about the Super Bowl; is it even assured that the Vikes can even make the playoffs now?  Can they even beat The Bastard Baltimore Colts, a group that is itself reeling under doubts Anthony Richardson is their Quarterback of the future, in a Game that's been flexed to Sunday night?

The Hottest Babe In The Hooters Calendar: September 2024

I think I've shared this sentiment before, but I think I would have liked this month more if I could have hung this up on the wall and passively looked at it for a month.  I could be wrong.  As such and anyway, I am mostly cool to this month, although I can single out five waitresses here (out of the dozen featured this month), two of which I like above all.

In fifth place is Lilly, hailing from Charleston, S. C.  Long, blonde hair, black two-piece bikini.  She's posing against a wall, but her right hand is pressed against it, and it obscures her body, which is a pose I don't like.  What I do like is her smile, which is more of a smirk.  In fact, it may be one of the most demonstrative smirks I've ever seen for a Hooters girl in the calendar.

In fourth place is Ashley, of Galveston, Tex.  Another blonde with long hair, she's sporting a purple two-piece.  She is a little small on top, but she has an easy smile, is grabbing the sides or her bikini bottom, and is facing fully forward, showing off her petite and slim body.

In third place is Ryan, out of King of Prussia, Penn.  Long, black hair with what looks to be a glittery two-piece bikini.  She's under a big trickle of water that's bouncing off of her right tit.  That actually covers up her body, which is displeasing.  But I gotta say, she's got massive titties.

In second place is The Main Girl, Sara, hailing from Daytona Beach.  Long, dirty blonde hair, wearing an orange two-piece with the top cross-strapped.  She is also wearing a thin shirt, and she's posing as if she has just opened it up to reveal her bikini, and her thin bod, underneath.  I like that, along with her Cheshire cat grin!

Finally, I am going to give first place to Jaylynn, of Pensacola Beach, Fla.  Long, scraggly brown hair, in a purple two-piece bikini whose top crosses below her boobs.  It looks like she's standing on a lake beach.  What's most impressive about her is her taut body, which she is showing right straight at the camera.  I don't know if she works out, but damn, that's an impressive bod.  Like her smile, too.

So, congratulations to Jaylynn, and to all of others here worthy of distinction.  I have already masturbated to all of you!

How Disrespected Should I Feel?

So I was at my bar for the Game last night.  Probably because it started so late -- but possibly because I would be a little later in getting there because of the concert -- there was one other guy who showed up.  And he left at halftime.  So I did too.  Hey, at least my team won.

But I noticed something, dammit.  We have our alma mater's flag finally hung up on the ceiling of the bar.  But last/Friday night, I looked up and saw that it was covered up by another flag -- a flag for The Edmonton Oilers.  What the fuck???  I don't get the team -- is there an Edmonton Oilers fan club in the Twin Cities?? -- but what really, really bothers me is that it looks as though this flag was intentionally hung right in front of ours.  It's a ceiling; that flag could be hung feet away.  But it was hung on the same ... uh, it's either a pipe or wood, whatever ... that our flag is hung on.

Why?  Somebody wants to troll me?  I have no goddamn beef with The Edmonton Oilers.  So what's the deal with this?  And obviously bar management had to at least give the OK for this cover-up.  How and why did they let this happen?  Or did they want this to happen?

The manager was there last/Friday night, but it was so damn busy that I thought it better to talk to him Tuesday.  I hope there's a good reason for this.  Otherwise, this disrespect is a line too far -- maybe.

Nope, Still Pissed (It Was Rigged!!!)

Yep, the more I see that bullshit sequence of Breanna Stewart shuffling her feet, taking at least five steps, shooting a miss but getting a bailout call on Alanna Smith, and then learning that all of that was upheld upon review ... yeah, that pisses me off.

Others have pointed out that there was a huge pro-New York Liberty slant on the broadcast, from the announcers to the graphics to the fans (to be fair, Game 5 was in Brooklyn).  But the goddamn Commissioner of the WNBA wearing a frock with the New York City skyline on it is ... it's either tone-deaf or a very, very inappropriate case of favoritism.  No, I'll go further -- all that bias proved that Game 5 was rigged so that the Liberty could win.  I mean it.  You may say that's a conspiracy theory, but the trick is in not believing the fake conspiracy theories and believing the real ones.  And swear to Buddha, Game 5 being in the bag for New York City is a real one, goddammit.

When All The Time In The World Turned Into No Time At All

Had it all planned out yesterday/Thursday afternoon.  After I got my COVID shot, I would go to the drive-thru at Jimmy John's, pick up the sandwich I ordered through the application on Tuesday, drive to work and, until I had to punch in, rest in my car and, maybe, nap.  My shot was for 11:30, and I didn't have to report until 12:30, so maybe I was giving myself too much time, but I thought I would be OK.

Well, man, things got fucked up.  The drive-thru was backed up.  And then I saw a note on the speaker that said it was out, so everyone who ordered had to order at the window.  How long does it take to get a sub you order at the drive-thru window?  I didn't really think about that question.  Instead, I waited.  I waited for about 25 minutes at the drive-thru.

What I should have done I didn't even think of until I finally got up to the window and said to the guy that I ordered and paid for a sandwich -- and saw my sandwich, leaning up against the window.  I had a fleeting thought through my head as I was waiting in line that my sub was already done; I just needed to pick it up.  Well, why in the hell didn't I just park, go in to the store, and ask for it?  I designated my order as a drive-thru, but really, I could've just went in there and told them I didn't want to wait.  They would've gone to the drive-thru window, grabbed that sub (which I think was done at around 11: 15, according to the receipt, so more than an hour before I got it), and I could have been well on my way.

So, why didn't I?  And this is when I get so critical of myself.  I just wanted to shut my brain off, I guess.  It was just very, very easy to wait in my running car for as long as need be.  Also, I queued up at around 12:05.  Again, I don't know how long it takes for a sub to be made, especially one where you order at the window because the speaker doesn't work, so the other workers don't have advance time to make it before you get up to the window and pay.  But I thought I had time.  And by the time I realized it was going to take a long, long time, and I was running out of time to get to work, well, there were cars behind me and I was stuck in the drive-thru lane.  They should make sure drive-thru lanes are two lanes long so you can bypass, for whatever reason.  By the way, I was five minutes late.  Could've been worse, but it obviously it could've been better.

Maybe there are extenuating circumstances.  I really do think that if the speaker box was working, that would've meant enough lead time for the cars ahead of me to get their sandwiches and leave faster.  Also, it was lunchtime, so maybe I should've known that there would be a long line.  But I'm figuratively kicking myself for not realizing and/or not thinking that I could have spared myself a lot of time and drained energy if I just changed my thought process.

Then again, I have had cases where it took longer for me to go in and order than it was to just drive through.  Maybe I need to set some routines in my head so I don't need to use much brain power but use enough of it to help me.  If I can order, and if it can be made, in advance (and I already paid through my mobile app), it would then be better for me to park my car and go in.  If not all of those conditions are met, there is no great advantage gained than if I go through the drive-thru.  Maybe that's a hard and fast rule I should put into long-term memory.  Of course, I don't think I'll be working 12:30-9 for a long time, if ever, so maybe I won't have to set this thought process in mental stone.

I'm just pissed that this happened.

Doing Things With Family Is Supposed To Be Fun

So my sister and brother-in-law are coming home soon to visit.  They obviously have plans -- seeing their friends, seeing my niece, visiting landmarks around the Twin Cities and the state -- and that requires using a car, namely mine because it's newer than my parents' minivan.

Several hours ago she texted me about plans, which are getting more concrete in her head.  The Vikings Game I was going to work was flexed to Sunday night, so that means I'm free that day.  My sister thought that she could take my car to the Science Museum for a day with our niece.  I thought that with me being free now, I could go.  But she intimated that she thought it would be a day of just the three of them alone.  That's fine.  I'm not upset.

The thing that annoys me now, however, is that plans are taking shape for a big dinner that evening in St. Paul.  There are a couple complications that I'm still trying to figure out, and because of that I am kind of peeved.  For one: We are not going together.  Rather, they (my sister, brother-in-law and niece) are going to hang out at the Science Museum and then saunter over to St. Paul because the plan is for the dinner to be early.  My brother and sister-in-law are supposed to drive all the way over there from their home.  And we three (my parents and I) are supposed to drive from home to there.  That brings up the second complication: The minivan only seats two.  It was a work van from its days bringing deliveries from The Store to our vendor/clients, so one day, Father just ripped out the back seats.  They're in our basement now, but I don't know how or even if it's possible to put one of them back in.  So if he can't, what are we supposed to do, have just one of them ride on the floor of the van and get jostled around as we go across the river?

This is where a third car, namely a rental car, would be perfect.  As I've blog posted about before, getting one for a weekend would be perfect in order for them to do all that they want, especially if they want to go somewhere beyond the metro area.  But that would be the second weekend, not the first weekend, which is when the Science Museum and dinner are going to be held.  Them taking my niece to the Science Museum would be fine.  It's dinner that is royally screwing everything up.  Having dinner that Sunday instead would be better, even perfect, because it is my sister and brother-in-law's last day here.  And if we had a rental car, we would have a roomy vehicle for all of us to go wherever we want to go for dinner (and this would assume that my niece would be going with her parents, which are my brother and sister-in-law).

But nope, that won't happen.  Apparently, my brother has already made the reservation.  This planning seems so damn inefficient, and it makes us make inconvenient choices for some days that will also result in huge gaps of nothing to do in other days.  Such a stupid waste.  And now, I need to end this blog post because if I keep writing, I will only get more upset.

Just got finished with lunch, which to my parents is basically dinner.  And even though I should be leaving for work right now because I start in half an hour, the thing I really, really want to do now is nap.  And this is after sleeping for seven hours.  Egad, this second shift is going to be a drag.

Worst Fears On The Road Just About Realized

One of my greatest fears -- and granted, I have many -- is that, while I'm driving, debris from a vehicle ahead of me falls out of that vehicle, and either that debris hits my car or it somehow causes me to get into an accident.  That pretty much happened just now as I was driving home from going to work a second time (only to stash some Subway I bought after dinner tonight to have for dinner at work, as I am pulling second shift tomorrow and Thursday).  I was two cars behind a car pulling a flatbed with a bunch of stuff loosely tied down.  The car between us switched lanes over, and when I saw that the stuff seemed like it could fly off at any time, I started trying to move over to the left.

Just then, that car went over a bump big enough that it jostled the stuff on the bed, and some of that stuff fell off of it and on to the road.  I know that because I saw some of that stuff fall, and I heard a loud "CRASH!"  And I was just having thoughts of my car going over sharp shards of glass and destroying my tires.  That's when I swerved to my left and accelerated so I could get away from the fallen debris as quickly and as far as possible.  I kept looking at my dashboard to see if my low tire pressure light came on, but it didn't.

Guess I dodged a bullet.  But dammit, that scared the shit out of me.  Why isn't it mandatory for drivers to tie down stuff on flatbeds to the point where it won't move while they're driving on the road??

Great Timing Has Just Run Out

So far this season, I have noticed that my alma mater's football Games, for which I organize Game-watching events, have been almost entirely free of conflicts.  I should back up: Our main bar, the place where we see Games most often (and have been for upwards of a decade), is also the watch bar of another university, one that is closer and thus has way more people coming into watch whenever their Games are on.  Furthermore, our place hosts UFC pay-per-view events, and the place gets so packed that it usually is futile to watch one of our Games while there.

The scramble to find alternate places to watch is, to be quite honest, a pain in the ass.  For seasons prior, not only would we need to find a place that would take us in whenever there was a UFC PPV, but also when our university's Game was on The Pac-12 Network, that oft-derided channel that apparently no one in the United States got.  I had to ask for help to find places that had satellite carriers that had the P12N.  Fortunately, we finally found a place out in St. Paul that had it, so we were able to watch there one, two or, as was the case last season, four times.  They were a good place, but there is nothing like having only one restaurant to which we can all regularly go, and once our college moved into the Big Ten, the need to have a back-up bar vanished, thankfully.

Still, there are conflicts, and I need to be aware if and when I need to find a secondary place (like the one in St. Paul) if and when there is a Saturday in which there is little to no chance the people who want to watch our Game will have any space.  I swear that would happen by now.  It hasn't, not really.  The UFC PPVs are monthly, but so far there we have completely missed each other.  Meanwhile, there was one week where our Game overlapped this other alumni groups Game by, like, an hour, but their Game was a non-conference one against some low-major or second-division team, so none of their alumni cared to come and therefore we had plenty of space to watch what we wanted to watch.  Every other week so far, either our Games have been on separate time windows, one of our teams is on a bye, or, in this week's case, our Game is on Friday while theirs is on Saturday.  (Want to note that there is a UFC PPV this Saturday afternoon at 1, and both of our Game Watches are going to be able to avoid that.  Our Game is Friday night, their team has the week off!)

Sadly, that bullet-dodging ends next Saturday -- at least for me, not the group, and not for either conflict I detailed above.  Our Game is at 6:30.  The other alumni group's Game is at 2:30, and there obviously is no UFC PPV.  However, I am a Minnesota United FC season-ticketholder, and there is an MNUFC playoff Game going on at 8 for which I have automatically been charged for a ticket.  Whenever there has been a conflict between the Loons and my alma mater, I have always sided with watching with my fellow alumni and friends, and I would either sell or give away my MNUFC ticket to a friend.  However, because I have already paid for this ticket, because this is a playoff Game, and because my college football team absolutely sucks right now, I'm going to the Game.  But first, to make sure everything is all set, I am going to get there early, buy a beer so I don't look like I'm loitering, make sure there are people coming in to watch and then, around kickoff, leave for St. Paul.  I don't like doing this, but considering the sorry state of my alma mater, I don't have a whole lot of angst, to be honest.

I think I can pull this off.  What I worry about is my good luck ending because one of our Games later on in the year will finally be on at the same time as the other group's.  There is the November UFC event I am scared will cause a conflict also.  In either case, I will be in charge of telling everybody where else to go.  And by the way, there is an outside chance I will be hired to work a Minnesota Golden Gopher football Game to which I will accept.  In that case, I will pray that everything will be alright with my fellow friends, either at our main bar or, worst case scenario, another place I will have to scramble to find, organize, then hope for the best.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

Positive Numbers: Gopher soccer (Last Week: -3).  Congratulations are in order for the University of Minnesota women's soccer team.  By posting back-to-back Clean Sheets -- 1-0 over Maryland and 3-0 over Indiana, both at Robbie Stadium -- they have clinched a birth in the Big Ten Tournament (the Opening and Quarterfinal Rounds of which will be at Robbie, per this announcement).  Moreover, it appears as though the side's resume is robust enough that the Golden Gophers will make the NCAA Tournament for the first time under Head Coach Erin Chastain.

One more Match left: Home to Iowa on Decision Sunday.  (All 16 teams will play, but they will not all play at the same time.  I think they need to do something about that.)  There's a slight chance the U. will rise into the Sixth Seed and avoid the Opening Round, but if they don't, they will play Halloween ... and I will most likely be able to see them, because I plan on being there!

#0: United FC (Re-Entry!).  It is always good to enter a postseason with momentum.  And after a season where they reached as high as second in the West and then suffered through a middle section where they were out of the playoff field, they complete the Regular Season unbeaten in their last five Matches after keelhauling St. Louis at Midway Saturday night, 4-1.  The Loons were once flirting with being the Eighth Seed and thus hosting the Wild Card Match Wednesday, which I would not be able to go to because I'm working second shift Wednesday and Thursday.  But they've played so well that they've lifted themselves up to the Sixth Seed, in fact, and will play Real Salt Lake in a best two-out-of-three Round One Series, Game 1 of which will be next Week.

#-1: Wild (Last Week: -6).  The club's two Wins this screening Week -- both on the road over St. Louis and Columbus, by the way -- continued a streak that is really impressive: They have yet to trail this season.  Sure, they've lost, in a Shootout at home to Seattle on the 12th and in Overtime at Winnipeg.  But that's past regulation.  See, they've lost, but they've never trailed.  See the difference?

I think they have the fourth-longest streak of never trailing to start a season in NHL history.  Let's see how long they can keep this going as they continue their early, long, six-Game road trip at Stanley Cup champion Florida, Tampa and Philadelphia.

#-2: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -4).  It is gratifying to see the Gophs go up to Duluth and take both contests of a two-Game series vs. those dirty-ass Bulldogs, 7-5 and 5-1.  I saw one twitterer (?) say it's the U., Denver, and both Boston schools (College and University) in the Frozen Four.  Slow your roll, clickbait guy.  It's a long season that just got started.  Who knows how this Minnesota team can disappoint you this time around?

A special two-Game series versus St. Thomas this weekend.  Friday's matchup will be at Mariucci.  Saturday's will be at The Xcel Energy Center.

#-3: Vikings (Re-Entry!).  "Bad Losses" shouldn't be a thing, I'll grant you that.  But I don't think the sky is falling after The Detroit Lions came to U. S. Bank Stadium and handed the Vikes their first defeat of the Year, 31-29, yesterday/Sunday afternoon.  While the Lions came back from a 10-Point deficit after one Quarter, the Vikings came back from not one but two 11-Point deficits on Detroit.  They're a good team, a really good team.  And, assuming the Vikes are still what we saw of them when they began the season 5-0, the return date on the last Week of the Regular Season should be something.

Meanwhile the Vikes have to regroup because they have that stupid Thursday night Game on the road.  At least they play The Los Angeles Rams, which should be no trouble.

#-4: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -1).  Swept at Rutgers Friday, got swept by third-ranked Penn St. yesterday/Sunday afternoon.  Also yesterday/Sunday, the NCAA did that stupid "Top 16" reveal that does nothing but drives narratives and establishes expectations that fans will point to when their squad isn't as high as they once were.  Anyway, the Gophs slide in at #16.  And they should at least stay there 'cause they can kick over Northwestern at home Wednesday and Ohio St. in Columbus Sunday.

#-5: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: -7).  Yeah, the Lynx lost, but I'm not mad at them, as you'll see why below.  I'm really pissed off at the Goofer female icers, who once again have demonstrated they are not the power that they once were.  Top-ranked Wisconsin came into Ridder, and the U. was completely humiliated by the Badgers, and in the two worst ways you can lose -- a 5-0 ass-kicking Friday, and choking on leads of 2-0 and 3-1 before losing 4-3 Saturday.

They played Ohio St. and Wisconsin -- the two big behemoths in women's college hockey, the only two programs any women's college hockey fan should know and care about -- on back-to-back weekends, and they they lost all four Games and gleaned only one Point from them.  This is embarrassing.  They have quickly proven they have not been able to step up to take those two schools.  So what in the goddamn hell are you doing here?  And so what if you sweep a home-and-home with Minnesota State-Mankato this weekend?

#-Infinity: Lynx (Last Week: -5).  Yep.  This is why I avoid seeing my teams in championship Games.  So Sabrina Ionescu hit a Logo Three to steal home-court back in Game 3 (by the way, with the way Twitter was lionizing her obviously great shot, there are a lot of powerful entities on popular platforms who were in the fucking tank for the Liberty ... that really grinds my fuckin' gears, and that's all I'm going to say about that), and Bridget Carleton sank two Free Throws to give the Lynx the lead that stuck when Ionescu missed a Game-tying Three at the buzzer.

So, in a WNBA Finals that seemed to have met the moment the sports world finally took the league seriously (thanks, Caitlin Clark, but no thanks to your toxic "fans" who use your gifts to hammer women playing sports, in particular Black basketball players), the winner-take-all Game 5 was played in Brooklyn last/Sunday night.  And ... well, there are no good ways to lose, but righteous indignation over getting fucked over by the refs at the end of the Game makes losing a title tilt a bit more palatable.  Apparently, Breanna Stewart took, like, five steps after receiving an inbounds play, got a Foul call on Alanna Smith I still don't see after replay, and made both Free Throws which sent Game 5 into Overtime, where The New York Liberty won their first-ever championship, 67-62.

On the one hand, blaming the officiating is as old as time immemorial.  There are always other factors that contribute to the defeat.  The role players besides Napheesa Collier and Kayla McBride didn't have great Games.  Also, Collier blew a Lay-Up in the Possession before Stewart's travel with six Seconds left in the Fourth Quarter and the Lynx up by two.  She makes that and whatever happens on the other end doesn't matter.  Finally, the Lynx's Defense did what they needed to do and shut down the the Libs' two big stars.  Ionescu finished with one made shot and five Points.  Stewart had 13 Points on 4-for-15 shooting, missing all three of her Three-Point Attempts.  You do that and you still lose?  Sorry, but a lot of that has to be on you for failing to stop the Liberty's role players.

On the other hand, here's LeBron James, who knows a little something about basketball:

I’m sorry but that wasn’t a foul! Let the damn players dictate the outcome of a close battled tested game. 🤦🏾‍♂️

— LeBron James (@KingJames) October 21, 2024

I do live in a bubble where I have just scrolled through a fusillade of "THAT WAS A FOUL!!!" tweets.  But believe me when I say that there are a lot of neutral observers who don't live in Minnesota and have no dog in this fight who say that not only did Stewie get away with travelling and getting a phantom call, but the officiating (both in this Game and throughout the, well, league) sucked.  By the way, Collier didn't go to the line once last/Sunday night.  So, yes, Collier shouldn't have blown that Lay-Up ... and Stewart should have been called for travelling and not been given that Foul.  Both things can be true at the same time in this temporal plane.  Also, bad officiating didn't decide this Game and championship ... and a bad no-call decided this Game and championship.  Those two things can also be true and the same time in this temporal plane.

The Lynx weren't predicted to reach the Finals.  I for one thought they would be an also-ran, a one-and-done.  But as much as I like to think this team is just getting started, I know for a fact that life is random, and most times you don't get to build on previous seasons.  Tomorrow is not promised for any of us.  A title was within their grasp last night.  And yeah, the refereeing was not good, but the team let it go.  They just did.

Why I Don't Like Big Macs

Even though I do have my favorites, I'm not picky when it comes to burgers.  So long as it's hot, I think I would enjoy one.  I have realized that when evaluating burgers, what is more important to me than the taste is the, er, "integrity" of the sandwich.  Specifically, I hate it when stuff in the burger falls out.  I want to keep all the food I bought in one place, you know?

I haven't had a Big Mac in years if not decades, but McDonald's recently came out with a limited edition Chicken Big Mac.  There's a Mickey D's on the footprint of Allianz Field that will be torn down in December, so I bought a Chicken Big Mac after last/Saturday night's Match.  And when I got it, I remembered why I haven't bought it in years if not decades.  First, it's on the big side -- not bigger than my whole mouth, but it's big.  But worse than that is all the lettuce that comes with the Chicken Big Mac.  It's shredded, so naturally some of it is underneath the sandwich when I pick it up out of the paper package.  And since I deplore wasting food, I am compelled to pick up those shreds and sprinkle them on top of the bite of the Chicken Big Mac I am about to take.  That's kind of a pain in the ass.  And more annoying beyond that is the fact that it slides too much.  A Big Mac has that third bun, and apparently its surface is smooth because when I take a bite, the middle bun and some of the lettuce above and below it squirt through the back end.  I hate that.  A sandwich's contents can't just stay put, can it?

I didn't mean this to be a food review, but if you want my opinion on whether to get the Chicken Big Mac: If you're not peeved or sliding food that ends up on your table, get it.  Otherwise, don't.

So I'm Kinda Thinkin' About The Lynx

Had dinner with a social group after work last/Friday night, and I ate and drank (and had ice cream at Sebastian Joe's for desert) so much that I got really tired.  Once I got home around 9, I tried to watch Big Ten men's soccer, but my body told me to call it a night.  I made sure to pull the Zynga Poker slot machine once to stay on schedule, then around 9:30 or 10 I turned off the lights, and it was lights out for me.

The Lynx were playing Game 4 last/Friday night.  I avoided even overhearing the score because one more Loss meant they lose the WNBA Championship.  So although I was tired, I turned in mostly to avoid the result of the Game.  I fear the worst, of course, but I had these thoughts that the Lynx won.  And later, I had thoughts that the Lynx lost.  I think I was aware as I thought both opposing thoughts that I was dreaming it (or, in the scenario that they lost, I was having a nightmare), but I still felt euphoria when I thought they had won and resignation when I thought they had lost.

Woke up around 8:30.  At some point I knew I had to come across the result.  I was going to allow Twitter/X to tell me, but I looked at my Facebook first, and at the top of my screen I saw a fellow alum's feed of him at Target Center.  And he wrote a caption: "LYNX WIN!"

Cool.  So they won.  And now I'll be fearing they will lose Game 5 Sunday, and I'll have nightmares tonight about it.

It's Also Weight-Shedding Season

I'm eating too much.  Then again, I don't think I'm eating more than I usually do, even though it's, you know, too much.  But like the leaves turning brown and red and orange and yellow and the grass no longer growing, I now believe that with the downturn in the temperature, my body is also shifting into something akin to hibernation.

I stumbled upon this theory this week, when I felt noticeably heavier than before.  I'm not sure if I'm gaining weight, even though that is a possibility.  But I remember past autumns where I don't have the urge to eat as much as I have during the summer.  That sometimes coincides with an upset gastrointestinal system, which leads to, uh, going to the bathroom a lot.  That hasn't happened yet (I'll try to add more fiber to my diet to get that going), but that this happens this time every year (at least I think) makes me believe that my body really, really doesn't want nor need to carry all the food I eat around, and is doing all it can to tell me to stop shoving food in my face.  When it's cold, my body shuts down because it doesn't feel as though I need that much energy as I would when it's warm out.

Now, whether or not I will heed this signal is another thing entirely.  My parents made excellent food last night, and I chowed it all down.  I don't regret it, but my body might reject it, if you know what I mean.  We'll see when or if I control my calorie intake.

It's The Hope That Kills You. It's *Always* The Hope That Kills You

I planned on going to a speakeasy last/Wednesday night, then thought, "Uh, maybe we need to take it easy here, Unforgivable Wetness," and then I had a surprisingly heavy day at work after a week of relatively no work, and then I drove like a motherfucker to the speakeasy for two cocktails, some pasta and a flatbread.

Me being the sports addict, I think a part of my anxiety and my, uh, unrefined coping skills was the Lynx, who had home-court advantage and was playing Game 3 of the WNBA Finals at Target Center last night.  I saw on Twitter while I was at the speakeasy that they started the Game leading 14-5, leading The New York Liberty to call an early Time Out.  I then made sure not to check the score again, if I could help it.

After eating and drinking, I got an ice cream in the neighborhood.  I overheard while listening to the jazz station while driving home that at some point in the Second Half, Minnesota was up by six.  I went home and promptly fell asleep, even though I did want to know what the score was at some point before the night was through because if they had won, I was going to snap up a ticket to (hopefully) see the Lynx close out the Liberty and win Game 4 and thus the championship on Friday.

I somehow woke up at 11:57 p.m.  I grabbed my phone.  The home screen on my phone has a notification from Apple Sports News ... that Sabrina Ionescu sank a Three-Pointer to win the Game for New York and take back home-court advantage.

Nah, I'm not going to see the Game on Friday.  I'll go out to dinner with friends instead.

It's the hope that kills you.  It's always the hope that kills you.

But Do We Have To Take My Car?

So my sister and brother-in-law are visiting us very soon.  They're staying a week and a half, and I don't have to tell that it's going to be another adjustment that I may or may not get used to before they leave.  I love them, don't get me wrong.  But I like having the house all to myself so I can just, you know, be me.  I just realized, for example, that I might need to take my jerk-off towel into storage just in case either of them want to snoop around my closet while I'm at work.  I don't think I'd be able to touch myself anyway while they're here; my sister's bedroom shares a wall with mine.  We've had conversations through the wall because neither of us wanted to get out of our beds.

She called Father on Sunday, and then he gave me the phone so I could talk to her.  She is really excited to come home (even though she has vowed never to live here ever again), and she already has some things she wants to do while here (besides catching up with friends, of course).  But, surprisingly, they're big.  She wants to take my niece to the Science Museum.  She wants to visit the Paul Bunyan statue in Bemidji.  She wants to take our parents to the Spam Museum in Austin.  And she wants to do all that while driving my car.

Well ... not to say that my car is running bad.  Far from it; ever since my mechanic ripped out the casing around my catalytic converter, it's actually been running like a dream.  But I'm paranoid, you see, and I don't know if this car can handle one four-hour round trip, let alone two of them, and maybe throw in a 2 1/2 hour-one where she needs to drive all the way out to Carver County to pick up my niece, then drive all the way the heck out to St. Paul, and then bring her back to my brother and sister-in-law's place.  What if something happens?

So I thought of something, and it came about through some good fortune, if you want to call it that.  I'm totally free the second weekend they're here.  I have that Friday off because I have some paid time off I need to use and that was one of the only remaining dates till the end of the year that I could use it on.  (In fact, the only set date I have while these two are here is a reservation for three at a critically-acclaimed restaurant in downtown Minneapolis Friday evening.)  My alma mater is on its second bye that Saturday (the way they've been playing, they've had, like, six byes), so I don't have to organize a Game-watching event.  And the Vikings are on the road, so I don't have to work Sunday.  Theoretically, the three of us, and maybe even all five of us if you want to count our parents, could just spend the weekend going all over the state of Minnesota.  But, there is a rental car place within walking distance.  Why don't we (or maybe I) rent a car for the weekend?  That way, we could use the rental to drive to Bemidji and Austin and maybe even St. Paul, and I won't have to worry about the advanced wear-and-tear on my beautiful, precious car.

Come to think of it, renting a car isn't contingent on me having a free weekend.  Well, it still seems like a great idea to me, so I am going to broach this idea to my sister soon.  I think it'll go over well!

I Suck At Fantasy Football

Of the three fantasy football leagues I'm in, I am, after Week 6 finished last/Monday night, above .500 in the one I run (which now has only six Managers after one of them, the son of my best friend, left), at .500 at the one at work, and 1-5 in the one I have cash money in.  And goddammit, I am obsessed with the league I have cash money in.  Not only because I have cash money in it, but also because I am 1-5, and have, more often than not, been awful in that league.  I have finished second once, winning $100.  But I have finished out of the money every other season, and more towards the bottom of the league than the top.

I don't know what it is.  I have one theory that since the commissioner of this league doesn't freeze free agents, every other Manager in this league scoops them up as soon as they see a player blow up and have a great game.  But I think I did that this year pretty well, and I'm still getting my ass kicked.

This week may have been a new all-time low.  My opponent had Marvin Harrison, Jr., and James Cook in his starting lineup.  Harrison left the Game in the Second Quarter Sunday after suffering a concussion and accumulating no points for the Manager.  Cook had a bad toe, and it was announced before his Game last/Monday night that he was out.  Still, the guy I was facing didn't replace Cook with anyone playing the Monday night Game.  He may have been busy, but he may have noticed it didn't matter, because he was beating the shit out of me.  Going into the Bills-Jets Game last/Monday night, he was leading me by about, I think, 104 points.  I had Josh Allen, Khalil Shakir, and Tyler Bass, but of course it didn't matter; he doubled me up, 141.32-70.50.  Two of my dudes, Allen and Bucky Irving, reached double-digit fantasy points.  Of the ten players that comprise our starting roster, seven of his reached double figures, and remember, two of his guys gave him nothing, absolutely nothing.

And here I am, completely embarrassed, again.  Why am I throwing money away at something I'm terrible at?

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#-1: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -3).  I highly doubt they'll reach the Final Four, which is too bad considering the wave of increased popularity for women's volleyball in the wake of the exponential rise in popularity for women's college basketball.  Sweeping Indiana and Maryland on consecutive evenings at the Sports Pavilion is nice, and that's why the get the top spot for this Week's WMNSS.  But beating ranked clubs is where it's at, and against teams who were ranked when they faced them, the U. is 2-4.  Title teams show College Volleyball Nation what they're made of then, and there hasn't been enough good results from the Gophers this season.

No needles will be moving Friday when they visit Rutgers either.  But Sunday afternoon they're at third-ranked Penn St.  An upset likely is not in the cards, but they'll get everybody's attention if they somehow pull it off.

#-2: Gopher football (Last Week: -2).  OK, you fuckers have to cool it.  Yeah, you swept both Los Angeles schools after coming back to beat UCLA Saturday night at the Rose Bowl.  (Man, I thought the Goofs were going to lose and my alma mater was going to win.  Jesus fucking Christ, of course neither thing happened.  Guess it's good I don't bet on Games anymore, huh?)  You have beaten two brand-new programs that may be as bad as they have ever been in their respective programs' histories.  And you're acting like you're going to The College Football Playoff (wanking motion).  I remember three Weeks ago when everybody in this town was blasting P. J. Fleck for getting boatraced in the Second Half of their blowout Loss to Iowa.  And he's been teasing the U. and its fans for, what, almost a Decade now?  You think something huge changed about him after his squad beat a pair of tomato cans that represent a huge city in The West Coast back-to-back?  Calm down.  I'll bet y'all lose to Maryland in two Weeks.

#-3: Gopher soccer (Last Week: -5).  This XI really caught my attention when they upset eighth-ranked Ohio St. 3-2 Thursday in Columbus.  It's the U.'s first Win over a ranked team since 2014 and their first over a top ten-ranked team since 2015.  That should get them some cred; this bracketologist, on Tuesday, had the U. on the right side of the at-large bubble -- if I am reading his blog post correctly.  Sadly, the side could have made it a road trip to remember by beating 20th-ranked Penn St. at Happy Valley Sunday, but they blew a 2-1 lead they built after just 15 Minutes (the first Goal being scored by Khyah Harper, who braced against the Buckeyes and now has 16 Goals on the season) and lost, 3-2.

There are only three regular season Games before the Big Ten Tournament, and luckily for the Golden Gophers, they finish the season with a homestand.  They host Maryland Thursday and Indiana Sunday afternoon.

#-4: Gopher men's hockey (NEW SEASON!).  I'm still not over these guys blowing a 2-0 lead in the national championship Game two Years ago and losing to Minnesota-Duluth.  I remember their Twitter account vowing that they'd be back.  Welp, they didn't go back last season, and I doubt they'll be much better this Year.

They kicked off their season in Las Vegas and The Ice Breaker, a tournament which also included Massachusetts, Air Force and Nebraska-Omaha.  Frankly, if you look at brand names, Minnesota should not stoop to the level of the other three.  And yet here they are.  They dominated the Falcons (that's the Air Force) Friday, 7-1, but fuckin' A, they lost to the Mavericks (that's Nebraska-Omaha) the next night in OT, 2-1.  And I'm just (shrug)

Oh, look ... speaking of the Bulldogs, the Gophs travel to Duluth to play them in a two-Game series this weekend.

#-5: Lynx (Last Week: -4).  I'll be completely honest with you: I have no fucking clue where to put the Lynx in the survey.  They started off the screening Week advancing in Game 5 of their WNBA Playoff Semifinal series by beating Connecticut, 88-77, Tuesday at Target Center.  They then won Game 1 of the WNBA Finals over The New York Liberty Thursday, 95-93 in Overtime, in Brooklyn in what may be The Greatest Playoff Game In WNBA History and The Best Basketball Game Of The Year.  But last/Sunday night they lost Game 2 through a late Libs spurt, 80-66.  (By the way, here's a weird stat for you: The Lynx are now 1-3 this postseason playing on Sunday and 5-0 playing on all the other days of the week.)

Yes, they stole home-court advantage after the Game 1 thriller.  And playing at home means more in basketball than in any other sport.  But while Minnesota closed to within two with about three Minutes left in Game 2, to me, the ensuing reaction by the Libs in blowing them out late feels more like the team the Lynx will have to overcome to win their fifth championship than the one who blew a 15-Point lead with more than five Minutes to go in regulation, blew a Free Throw that would have won it at the end of regulation, and missed a lay-up that would have sent the Game to a second OT.  (OK, those last two things came only from Breanna Stewart, but apparently she came up big in Game 2, so it's that monster the Lynx will have to face here, not the one who inexplicably choked late in Game 1.)

I don't want to put this squad at the very bottom of the WMNSS just because I'm wetting my pants over them losing the Finals.  But I can't put them above all the other clubs who had at least one Loss this Week because I'm not absolutely hopeful they can close out New York in Games 3 and 4 because hey, we're Minnesota.  So of the five other teams that won and lost contests this screening Week ... shit, I'm just putting them in the middle.

Please win.  Please.

#-6: Wild (NEW SEASON!).  I have the same expectations for this organization that I had for the Vikings before they began their season: None.  They are in the second of a two-Year self-imposed salary cap hell when General Manager Bill Guerin decided to trade Zach Parise and Ryan Suter and eat their huge contracts.  They certainly can't make any blockbuster moves until next Year, so the organization is stuck with what they got.  A lot of experts seem very high on the talent, both with the senior squad and those doing time in Iowa.  I don't see it.  Maybe I'm just looking ahead to only this season.

They have suffered diminishing returns to start the Year, winning in regulation at The Xcel Energy Center over Columbus in the season opener Thursday, losing at home to Seattle in a Shootout Saturday, then losing in Overtime to The Bastard Atlanta Thrashers last/Sunday night in Winnipeg.  And in that last tilt, they were without Jared Spurgeon and Joel Eriksson Ek, both of whom suffered injuries in the defeat to the Kraken.  The team was without those two very important pieces of big parts of the Year (and for the former for pretty much the whole Year), and goddammit, that same fucking shit is happening now.  But who cares?  They're not winning the Stanley Cup this Year.

This Week they finish their road trip with Games at St. Louis tomorrow/Tuesday night and Columbus Saturday night.

#-7: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: -1).  I continue to assert that when it comes to women's college hockey, it's Ohio St. and Wisconsin on top, then there's a not insignificant gap to where Minnesota is.  This weekend was a sad reinforcement of that hierarchy, as they went to Columbus and lost both of their Games, 4-3 Friday and 2-1 in a Shootout Saturday.  The Goofers were ranked second and the Buckeyes fourth or fifth, so it's probable this overwhelmed club will pass Ohio St. on its way down.  I don't know if there is any hope these icers will win a championship, or even shake things up and compete for one.  And oh, look -- the Badgers come to town for two this weekend.  Maybe there will be a better showing from this now-second-tier program.  Or maybe not.