OK, I'm sorry, but I finally have to blow my lid. I've been trying to host these parties for my alumni club, and all season, week by week, attendance has steadily dropped.
We reached the nadir yesterday. Well, actually, I did. You see, no one showed up. I have to repeat: No one fucking showed up.
Why the hell not? Sure, our team was not as good as it should be. But we weren't that good last year, and people showed up. I didn't see any precipitous drop over the games last season. But there was this season. Why is that?
You know, I can't think of any other reason except that it's ... me. For some reason, people in the club don't like me. Nothing else has changed -- not the venue, not the mediocre season our team's been having ... well, I was President last year, too. I don't know what it is, but why couldn't it be because people think I'm a creep?
It's just pissing me off, though. What I hate most of all is that I am now the only person (well, me and the Vice-President) who cares to show up for these events. No, we're not doing a whole lot right now, but we're going to try and fill in with other things not that the season's over. But I don't know if I should even do that now that I see that no one is showing up for what is the most fundamental events the club has. So if they don't give a shit, why should I give a shit?
I'm looking around at the empty space while watching the game and I am so, so tired of being the only one who cares anymore. I'm responsible for the club now, but how am I supposed to get interest going when I apparently squandered everything? And why should I even bother if this is just going to happen the next time I plan something?
Why do I even fucking try?
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