I've been up since 4. Went to bed a quarter past midnight, then woke up at 1:30, then 2, then 3:30, then I haven't been able to fall asleep after 4. Tried meditation -- that didn't work. Already I am not in a good frame of mind going into work. I know it's already going to be a bad day.
I have to worry about what the others are doing, how to hide this problem packet, what to do about all the other problems, then get to work on the main task my boss wants me to do before my boss yells at me for not doing it fast enough. At some point I am going to have to defer this job to others, just so it gets done according to his timetable. But I just don't trust anyone else. If I could just do this on my own, it'd get done -- slowly, but well. But I don't think well is what he's after.
It's becoming increasingly apparent that this project this year has been an unmitigated disaster. I still don't know why my mentor was let go, but he is so needed right now. Instead, all of us are groping in the dark, not knowing how to deal with the next crisis.
And the temps are all leaving, soon. There are three theories behind this, in my opinion: 1) My boss thinks this can all be done sooner than realistically possible; 2) My boss is under a huge budget crunch from his boss to cut down on costs; or 3) My boss has no idea what he's doing. It may be all three, for all know.
And I don't know much. Once more unto the breach.
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