Well, I had been in a foul mood since around this time yesterday (which would be ... uh ... Monday afternoon Central Time??) due to losing on Liverpool beating Leicester. (And, once again, how the fuck did that happen?) It got worse when I checked my parents' e-mail. They are leaving for Las Vegas Tuesday, which would be great because those fucking people would be out of my hair. But I saw an e-mail that have already booked their return flights for a fortnight from them.
So what I thought was an extended vacation turned out to be the status quo. They'll pack food for me to eat for the whole two weeks, so there's no goddamn chance I'll be able to lose weight. There's no way I can move to my sister's better bed and bedroom, and I'll have no chance to strewn my clothes all over the floor. I won't be able to relax at home because on the two weekends I'll be gone, I'll be busy going out to alumni club duties or sporting events. It'll be as if they never left. So how in the hell can I miss them if they're not going to be gone?
I wanted to enjoy dinner with my uncle and aunt last (Tuesday) night, but the spectre of that bad mood was fed, literally. They treated me to seafood, where they choose the live animals to be killed. Sorry -- I understand fresh, but the hypocrite in me wants some distance so the blood on my hands are dried by the time the flesh I decided to eat arrives on my plate. Uncle forced me to pose for a picture of a lobster that soon was going to be our dinner.
That lobster, a grouper, some prawns and a bunch of other dishes came out for us (me, uncle, auntie and their two daughters), and I quickly got full. And as usual, once I get full in these Chinese dinners, I get sullen, then I get downright ornery. During dinner I had these thoughts of Mother fucking telling me to "try this!" and "eat that!" and all I could think of was, if she were with us during this dinner, I would absolutely fucking flip out. I couldn't eat anymore, and yet more dishes were coming. And I really couldn't do anything about it because this was a Nice Family Dinner.
(There may be a reason why these fucking Chinese dinners are so arduous. My aunt, who picked up on my plight through my pained body language early in the evening, noted that this is how things are done. Eight dishes came out, and eight is a lucky number in Chinese culture. Oh yeah. I wonder if all our elaborate dinners my whole life have come in eight, because if it does, that explains a lot. And I am kind of embarrassed if I just realized this now.)
But that wasn't the worst of it. As soon as I sat down, my uncle told me that Mother asked him to ask me when I was going to get a girlfriend. I am so goddamn tired of this fucking question. My parents, the example by which I was raised, did nothing but fight and hate each other all my life (including now), and they're surprised I still haven't found someone?! Fuck them!!! If anyone asks when again I'll tell them what I usually say -- when my parents are dead. I mean that.
So overfull and thus feeling sick and angry, we were finally done. But after I got to my microtel and took a shit, my uncle calls me. I told him about my sightseeing plans that I wanted to do. During dinner, when I told them, I was kind of implying that I wanted to do it myself. But he called and said that we would go on the Star Ferry and then to Victoria Peak this afternoon. Great. I have a chaperone, even though he has a job he could certainly go to.
And tomorrow we're going to Lantau to see the Big Buddha, together. Guess I have a companion for the rest of this trip. Look, he's a nice guy but ... I just wanted to do this by myself. And I'm doing the Star Ferry by myself. I am up this early because I want to see if it's still dark enough for me to get a spectacular view of Victoria Harbor before we gets to bright out. I'm going to the Star Ferry as soon as my hour's up at the Internet Cafe. Then I'll go back to my hotel and sleep, and then Uncle and I will ... go to the Star Ferry again.
---
Oh, by the way, I visited Grandmother yesterday (Tuesday), and I tried again at the OTB. La Liga was playing, and I rolled the dice on Eiber beating Real Sociedad on the road.
And (looking up the score online on ESPN.com) ... they tied. You know, I thought about betting on a draw before I picked Eibar. Fuck, another goddamn $6.50 down the shithole.
Tuesday, February 28, 2017
Monday, February 27, 2017
So I'm In Hong Kong ...
... and I'm at an Internet cafe, where, even though I feel kind of humiliated by the brusque treatment of the guy working there, I am finally back online. Wanted to make sure I get what I need, so I spoke
English, and he seemed to be kind of a dick, but hey, an Internet cafe isn't where I should expect sterling service.
My main reason for coming, and my main source of anxiety, is seeing Grandmother. However, as of yesterday afternoon, I was able to see her. She is, for the most part, well. Her short-term memory is shot, but she seems physically healthy. More importantly, she seems to be cared for, at least on the surface. She has a nanny that stays with her during the day, and her son, daughter-in-law, grandson and granddaughter-in-law (the grandson got married on Saturday!!) all seem to live with her on the same flat. We had dinner last night; it was nice. I am going to try and see her again a few times more, and have dinner with them at least one more time.
The second thing I wanted to do in HK is visit my uncle and aunt. Something tricky about this. I thought I was going to stay with them, but instead, my uncle put me up at a, get this, microtel close by. It's a bed and a bathroom -- that's it. There is no closet. I could use a closet, because right now the only place I can put my suitcase is in front of the door, and I have step over it. The bed could be softer, the toilet could fill with water without me helping it, and I wish water in the shower wouldn't seep through the door and onto the floor. But I looked online -- this room costs only $38 a night. I don't want to rely on the adage that you get what you pay for, because my parents swear by Spirit Airlines, which is just a glorified slave ship to me, but ... no, I can't really complain.
The third thing I want to do is sightsee, and with the two things above and battling jet lag, I don't know how much I'm able to do. I'm here partly to blog post for the first time in a couple days, but also to plan some things: A trip to the Hard Rock Cafe, going on the Star Ferry, maybe going up to Victoria Peak and, if I'm really frisky, the race track. I just don't know how much I am able to do.
Maybe more later.
---
Gotta tell you, I'm kind of pissed off right now. After leaving Grandmother's flat, I went to this off-track betting parlor. I have yet to spend any of my own money, but gambling in Hong Kong was the perfect time to finally do it.
After a lot of trouble, I spent $50 HK on Liverpool over Leicester, who shitcanned the manager who took them on an impossible English Premiere League title. Of course Liverpool was going to win, right?
It was 2-0 Leicester at the half. I don't have the stomach to see the final score.
I swear, once I bet on something, the opposite is guarnteed to happen.
OK, just checked that $50 HK translates to about $6.50. But still.
English, and he seemed to be kind of a dick, but hey, an Internet cafe isn't where I should expect sterling service.
My main reason for coming, and my main source of anxiety, is seeing Grandmother. However, as of yesterday afternoon, I was able to see her. She is, for the most part, well. Her short-term memory is shot, but she seems physically healthy. More importantly, she seems to be cared for, at least on the surface. She has a nanny that stays with her during the day, and her son, daughter-in-law, grandson and granddaughter-in-law (the grandson got married on Saturday!!) all seem to live with her on the same flat. We had dinner last night; it was nice. I am going to try and see her again a few times more, and have dinner with them at least one more time.
The second thing I wanted to do in HK is visit my uncle and aunt. Something tricky about this. I thought I was going to stay with them, but instead, my uncle put me up at a, get this, microtel close by. It's a bed and a bathroom -- that's it. There is no closet. I could use a closet, because right now the only place I can put my suitcase is in front of the door, and I have step over it. The bed could be softer, the toilet could fill with water without me helping it, and I wish water in the shower wouldn't seep through the door and onto the floor. But I looked online -- this room costs only $38 a night. I don't want to rely on the adage that you get what you pay for, because my parents swear by Spirit Airlines, which is just a glorified slave ship to me, but ... no, I can't really complain.
The third thing I want to do is sightsee, and with the two things above and battling jet lag, I don't know how much I'm able to do. I'm here partly to blog post for the first time in a couple days, but also to plan some things: A trip to the Hard Rock Cafe, going on the Star Ferry, maybe going up to Victoria Peak and, if I'm really frisky, the race track. I just don't know how much I am able to do.
Maybe more later.
---
Gotta tell you, I'm kind of pissed off right now. After leaving Grandmother's flat, I went to this off-track betting parlor. I have yet to spend any of my own money, but gambling in Hong Kong was the perfect time to finally do it.
After a lot of trouble, I spent $50 HK on Liverpool over Leicester, who shitcanned the manager who took them on an impossible English Premiere League title. Of course Liverpool was going to win, right?
It was 2-0 Leicester at the half. I don't have the stomach to see the final score.
I swear, once I bet on something, the opposite is guarnteed to happen.
OK, just checked that $50 HK translates to about $6.50. But still.
Friday, February 24, 2017
She's Alive!!! She's Alive!!!
Slept for maybe two hours tonight. Will be able to sleep a maximum of 90 minutes before I need to shower.
On a lark, just after I woke up, I called Hong Kong to see if I could reach Grandmother. And, by Buddha, I did. It was a five-second call; she recognized me, said something in Chinese I didn't understand, and hung up. But hey, at least she's alive!
On a lark, just after I woke up, I called Hong Kong to see if I could reach Grandmother. And, by Buddha, I did. It was a five-second call; she recognized me, said something in Chinese I didn't understand, and hung up. But hey, at least she's alive!
Thursday, February 23, 2017
OK, You Know Something I Won't Miss While In Hong Kong?
Getting into two lines at the light on the on-ramp. I don't know which lane to get into. I know, I know, I've harped on this before, but I think this morning I had enough.
I was, like, seventh in a line of cars that went through the light and onto the ramp, which had cars backed up on the light. I was doing my best to look at the green light in order to time the order in which the cars were supposed to go through -- left-right-left or right-left-right. I swear I had it down pat until the damn cars in front of me effed it all up. The car in front of me, in particular, was supposed to take the left lane but instead took the right. I was supposed to take the right ... and so I went onto the right lane, like an idiot. And of course I fell behind the car behind me, who saw that my lane was much longer than the left. Argh!!!!!
Why didn't I just get to the lane opposite the one in front of me? Because there was a chance the guy behind me would've gotten in front of me in that situation, too. I hate this, I absolutely hate this. I hate that I can't use my logic to get onto the right lane. I hate that the idiot drivers in front of me can't figure out which lane they should get into. I hate all of this! I hate it, I hate it, I hate it!!
And I'll have to go through all this crap again when I get back.
I was, like, seventh in a line of cars that went through the light and onto the ramp, which had cars backed up on the light. I was doing my best to look at the green light in order to time the order in which the cars were supposed to go through -- left-right-left or right-left-right. I swear I had it down pat until the damn cars in front of me effed it all up. The car in front of me, in particular, was supposed to take the left lane but instead took the right. I was supposed to take the right ... and so I went onto the right lane, like an idiot. And of course I fell behind the car behind me, who saw that my lane was much longer than the left. Argh!!!!!
Why didn't I just get to the lane opposite the one in front of me? Because there was a chance the guy behind me would've gotten in front of me in that situation, too. I hate this, I absolutely hate this. I hate that I can't use my logic to get onto the right lane. I hate that the idiot drivers in front of me can't figure out which lane they should get into. I hate all of this! I hate it, I hate it, I hate it!!
And I'll have to go through all this crap again when I get back.
Wednesday, February 22, 2017
Too Late?
I am glad that the test scoring place took me back after talking to my contact there about the thing that made me so upset last year. Nevertheless, I know that any project I'll be on has the potential to just select leaders willy-nilly. Plus, I'm still looking for longer-term work, if not full-time work; my contact knew that when I started working for her and the company seven years ago.
So, ever since I knew I was going to be part-time at the health insurance company, I have tossed out my resume at as many jobs as I could. And I have thus gotten a lot of voicemail messages (through Google Voice) from temp agencies who apparently like my experience and skills.
I have called back several people from, like, three agencies. I have also taken some afternoons to interview with two other agencies. And there, even though I seem to have left a positive impression, I hit a dead end. They didn't talk about the jobs I applied for, the ostensible reason they called me in the first place. (I just thought of that; why didn't I ask them about the job I applied for? Dang, I should've asked.) And even though I got offered something different in my interview today, I left empty-handed. Seems weird; if they like me, why can't I just ... you know, get something?
Well, it's too late at this point. Friday I leave for Hong Kong, then I'll be overseas for a week. Sure, something can come in, but how easy will it be to agree to a temp job, then tell the test scoring place that I'm ditching them? The chance that something comes in this late is remote. Shoot, getting something even earlier this week would be hard too, especially since the earliest I could begin any new job through a temp agency is two weeks from now, and these temp agencies might need people immediately.
So I'm stuck scoring tests for three months. Maybe something will come in around Memorial Day. But maybe not. Will there be any jobs for me then? I don't know, man, I don't know.
So, ever since I knew I was going to be part-time at the health insurance company, I have tossed out my resume at as many jobs as I could. And I have thus gotten a lot of voicemail messages (through Google Voice) from temp agencies who apparently like my experience and skills.
I have called back several people from, like, three agencies. I have also taken some afternoons to interview with two other agencies. And there, even though I seem to have left a positive impression, I hit a dead end. They didn't talk about the jobs I applied for, the ostensible reason they called me in the first place. (I just thought of that; why didn't I ask them about the job I applied for? Dang, I should've asked.) And even though I got offered something different in my interview today, I left empty-handed. Seems weird; if they like me, why can't I just ... you know, get something?
Well, it's too late at this point. Friday I leave for Hong Kong, then I'll be overseas for a week. Sure, something can come in, but how easy will it be to agree to a temp job, then tell the test scoring place that I'm ditching them? The chance that something comes in this late is remote. Shoot, getting something even earlier this week would be hard too, especially since the earliest I could begin any new job through a temp agency is two weeks from now, and these temp agencies might need people immediately.
So I'm stuck scoring tests for three months. Maybe something will come in around Memorial Day. But maybe not. Will there be any jobs for me then? I don't know, man, I don't know.
Tuesday, February 21, 2017
So, About Relaxing And Eating Clean After My Massage ...
I had plans on emptying my stomach and going to bed early after my message Monday afternoon. It seems right, doesn't it? After you get your knots kneaded out of you and you replenish with water, you let your body rest by not eating the rest of the day and, in fact, just crawling into your bed to sleep, early and long.
Yeah, well, that went to hell. I actually got a lot done yesterday -- had an interview (though I arrived a half-hour later than I should have and I almost was told to leave), got my hair cut by a stripper, and finally filled my car's gas tank. But after the massage I had nothing to do. My plan was not to eat at home and to, instead, fast. But I was banking on using the time between the massage and going home in the evening to go to the library (the haircut was after the massage, by the way). That plan went out the window when I learned that all the county libraries were closed because of Presidents' Day.
I then mentally scrambled for options. I thought about having coffee while chilling at My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Division), but I vowed not to use cash Monday. I then started to chuck the notion that I would keep my stomach empty and my body clean by seeing if I could latch onto Happy Hours at a couple places, Victory 44 and Nightingale. By the time the stripper cut my hair, it was too late to get to Happy Hour.
Finally I remembered that Dunkin' Donuts recently moved back into town. There was one in Roseville, so I figured I'd just go there and enjoy the return of the first big donut place I remember. Then, while on the move, I saw on Google Maps that another Dunkin' Donuts was open in New Hope. I was in Plymouth. So, I went there and ate two donuts and drank coffee. Then, because it would still be too early to get home and I thought I was still a tad hungry, I got a third donut. And somehow, that third damn donut took me from sated to overstuffed. And I'm still feeling it now, as I blog this.
Oh, and I'm not doing a whole lot of relaxing either because I've been looking up porn for much of the night. My heart's palpitating and my stomach distended -- basically I feel just as paunchy and dirty as I did before the massage, which was not the plan. FML.
Yeah, well, that went to hell. I actually got a lot done yesterday -- had an interview (though I arrived a half-hour later than I should have and I almost was told to leave), got my hair cut by a stripper, and finally filled my car's gas tank. But after the massage I had nothing to do. My plan was not to eat at home and to, instead, fast. But I was banking on using the time between the massage and going home in the evening to go to the library (the haircut was after the massage, by the way). That plan went out the window when I learned that all the county libraries were closed because of Presidents' Day.
I then mentally scrambled for options. I thought about having coffee while chilling at My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Division), but I vowed not to use cash Monday. I then started to chuck the notion that I would keep my stomach empty and my body clean by seeing if I could latch onto Happy Hours at a couple places, Victory 44 and Nightingale. By the time the stripper cut my hair, it was too late to get to Happy Hour.
Finally I remembered that Dunkin' Donuts recently moved back into town. There was one in Roseville, so I figured I'd just go there and enjoy the return of the first big donut place I remember. Then, while on the move, I saw on Google Maps that another Dunkin' Donuts was open in New Hope. I was in Plymouth. So, I went there and ate two donuts and drank coffee. Then, because it would still be too early to get home and I thought I was still a tad hungry, I got a third donut. And somehow, that third damn donut took me from sated to overstuffed. And I'm still feeling it now, as I blog this.
Oh, and I'm not doing a whole lot of relaxing either because I've been looking up porn for much of the night. My heart's palpitating and my stomach distended -- basically I feel just as paunchy and dirty as I did before the massage, which was not the plan. FML.
Monday, February 20, 2017
But It's Presidents' Day! Bad Driver: 610 RPJ; Silent, Rude Co-Worker
Man, I thought -- I hoped -- that my trip into work would be just fine because it's Presidents' Day and there are a lot fewer people working and thus on the road. But no, I got dickheads everywhere.
Take, for example, this red/beige Honda Crosstour. I'm just about to work. There are two lanes; I'm on the left. I see this asshole car get up behind a car in the right lane, which is diagonally in front of me. Those two cars are accelerating away from me, and I am keeping my respective distance from the car in front of me, like I've been told, like I'm supposed to do. I knew what was about to happen: This tailgater was going to cut in front of me. And I felt like I could have sped up and cut her (I think it was a woman) off. But the way the cars and I were going, I would have felt like an ass if I did speed up and she was able to get in front of me anyway. Plus, the one positive thing about Presidents' Day was that I made excellent time; I wasn't running late, and in fact I was getting to work early. So, I gave that bitch a bone.
And, sure enough, said bitch scooted in front of me. (At least she turned on her turn signal as she was doing it!) At this point I was afraid she was going where I was: To a new, shorter route to the parking lot, where I would take a left and encounter the parking lot the other way. And, sure enough, where I had to take a left, she did. And where I wanted to go right, she did -- before me, yards away since she was still driving like a bat out of hell. We both eventually went to where we both wanted to go, sort of. We hit a dead end that led only to a parking ramp. That's where she wanted to go, but not me. So, in a sense, all of this was for nothing, since the detour I thought I was taking wasn't.
---
Never mind; I went back to my usual route (I'll try and take this shorter route tomorrow) and, because it was Presidents' Day, found a parking spot closer to the building that would have taken longer to get to if I did find this "shorter" route. And I was still early for work.
OK, so I'm getting to the door. Everybody was getting to the door. Now, if the person ahead of you holds open the door ahead of you, what do you do? Say "Thank you," of course! But this bitch (I know it's a woman because, well, she was right behind me) didn't!! And this is Minnesota, so there are double doors on the way inside, so that meant that we went through a second door, which meant that she had a second chance to thank me. But guess what? She didn't -- again!!! How rude!!!!
Oh, well. I had to take the first elevator that was open and I'm glad she didn't go in after me. (Weird that the bay didn't stop flush with the lip of the floor; it was lower by an inch, so when I stepped in, I was surprised that my landing was further away than I thought it would be.) Hopefully I'll never see her again. Just have four (well, three) days left.
And I thought everything would be smooth and calm today because it's Presidents' Day.
Thoughts On Going Part-Time
Well, this will be the last of three weeks (actually two weeks and four days, seeing as I am leaving Thursday), and although I am very glad to stay on with these guys and help out, the new test scoring project begins in a couple weeks, and it seems as though the stars are aligned to not only finally visit Grandmother in Hong Kong but to also leave the job early. Again, I was not given a formal end date; I was told I would be staying "through February." Conceivably, I would have stayed through the 28th, and maybe through next week, which would have been March 3. But I want to see Grandmother, and finally, the time seemed to be right.
Things are kind of winding down with work anyway. I have a series of e-mails I need to monitor, and the number of health insurance packages I need to take care of has dwindled since I went part-time. Because of that shrinking job duty, I volunteered to test some software, but only if my boss let me. Well, he hasn't given me permission as of yet, and I don't know if at this late point I should even force the issue. Look, these days all I do is go on the Internet and do paperwork. That's great, but even I am at the point where I think I should do work. Maybe this is an instance where my boss wouldn't care one way or the other ... but, inertia may just make me not do anything for these four days. And even if I volunteer again to do testing, the people I would be helping test, who know I'm leaving Thursday, might say, "Never mind."
It's leaving at 12:30 that is making me feel ambivalent. If I had a full day at work, not necessarily doing work, I could either fill my days with this testing or go really hard core with, for example, blogging at work. But every day it feels as though I have set my stuff down and took my jacket off only to have to leave minutes later. Four hours go by fast, and it's not enough time to do anything -- work or play -- substantial enough to really bore into it. I would be pacing myself better if I just stayed home, frankly.
Also, consider that even though my paycheck has been cut in half, my expenses, such as it is, hasn't. Just because I'm working half a day doesn't mean I can have to drive only halfway to work. I've been diligent to not eat at the cafeteria the past two weeks, because I could, theoretically, eat all the wages I make at work. I'm not making a whole lot of money as it is; thinking that I have such a small margin of profit that I can't even get something at the commissary isn't a sustainable way to work.
Yeah, all of this is academic now, being there are four days left there. I still have to look for jobs at the company, I promised another supervisor I would send her my resume, and I could start throwing away all the papers I have accumulated, trash all the trash I have in my cubicle, and generally clean. But as for things I need to do, well, there isn't. And in that sense, it would make sense on my supervisors' part that this isn't the worst time for me to leave. Well, it's been fun and productive.
Things are kind of winding down with work anyway. I have a series of e-mails I need to monitor, and the number of health insurance packages I need to take care of has dwindled since I went part-time. Because of that shrinking job duty, I volunteered to test some software, but only if my boss let me. Well, he hasn't given me permission as of yet, and I don't know if at this late point I should even force the issue. Look, these days all I do is go on the Internet and do paperwork. That's great, but even I am at the point where I think I should do work. Maybe this is an instance where my boss wouldn't care one way or the other ... but, inertia may just make me not do anything for these four days. And even if I volunteer again to do testing, the people I would be helping test, who know I'm leaving Thursday, might say, "Never mind."
It's leaving at 12:30 that is making me feel ambivalent. If I had a full day at work, not necessarily doing work, I could either fill my days with this testing or go really hard core with, for example, blogging at work. But every day it feels as though I have set my stuff down and took my jacket off only to have to leave minutes later. Four hours go by fast, and it's not enough time to do anything -- work or play -- substantial enough to really bore into it. I would be pacing myself better if I just stayed home, frankly.
Also, consider that even though my paycheck has been cut in half, my expenses, such as it is, hasn't. Just because I'm working half a day doesn't mean I can have to drive only halfway to work. I've been diligent to not eat at the cafeteria the past two weeks, because I could, theoretically, eat all the wages I make at work. I'm not making a whole lot of money as it is; thinking that I have such a small margin of profit that I can't even get something at the commissary isn't a sustainable way to work.
Yeah, all of this is academic now, being there are four days left there. I still have to look for jobs at the company, I promised another supervisor I would send her my resume, and I could start throwing away all the papers I have accumulated, trash all the trash I have in my cubicle, and generally clean. But as for things I need to do, well, there isn't. And in that sense, it would make sense on my supervisors' part that this isn't the worst time for me to leave. Well, it's been fun and productive.
Sunday, February 19, 2017
The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey
Positive Numbers: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -2). Another extremely competitive survey this screening week; four of the top five teams all went undefeated. By quality of opponent, where they won, and the implications the victories at least nominally mean, I am putting the U. men's hockey team on top.
I'm checking the PairWise; after sweeping Penn St. this weekend, they are now solidly in fourth. However, are the Gophers really the fourth-best team in College Hockey Nation? I don't know. All I can tell is that the U. went into Happy Valley to face what could be the second-best team in the Big Ten and doubled-up the eighth or ninth-best team in the country on Friday, 6-3, then outlasted the Nittany Lions in Overtime Saturday, 4-3. Well, it's more like Rem Pitlick did that to Penn St.; the Freshman from Plymouth tallied a Hat Trick on Friday and scored the OT game-winner Saturday. Surely he'll be the conference's First Star Of The Week.
The fact that they solidly defeated the nearest league competition is a fantastic statement to make. However, points-wise they are still tied atop the B1G with Wisconsin ... their next opponent next weekend at Mariucci. (For some reason the athletic department website has Minnesota facing off against the Royal Credit Union, the sponsors of the two-game series, on the top website banner.) Sweep that series, and not only is the Big Ten regular-season title theirs, a spot in the NCAA Tournament is assured, too.
#0: Gopher softball (Last Week: Positive Numbers). If these Gophers continue to win on the road in these tournaments, there's no reason for them to ever come home! The club has won the first three games of four in the B1G/ACC Challenge this weekend in Raleigh, N.C. They beat Notre Dame, 4-1, Friday as Sara Groenewegen struck out 15; outlasted the Fighting Irish 3-2 in eight innings Saturday as Dani Wagner singled home Ellie Cowger; then, later that day, crushed host N.C. St. 11-0 in five innings. One more game this (Sunday) afternoon and, assuming they win that, they'll be 9-0 to start the year and should rise above their rank of 13th in both college softball polls. They'll try to continue their run with five games next weekend in the Fresno St. Tournament.
#-1: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: 0). Tom Crean, the Head Coach of Indiana, ripped his team after they got humiliated against Michigan last Sunday. One would expect that to be motivation for their next game. That sucked for the U., because guess who the Hoosiers played next?
Nevertheless, despite an extremely tight back-and-forth, Akeem Springs layed in his own three-point miss with three seconds left to go to get the Gophers a thrilling 75-74 win over Indiana at The Barn. That is now four wins in a row for Minnesota (not to mention possibly killing off the Hoosiers' chances of even making the tournament). Checking out The Bracket Matrix (which was last updated Saturday morning), the Gophers are ensconced as a 7-seed. There are still some weeks left, but it'll take a serious downward spiral to jeopardize Richard Pitino's first entry into the NCAA Tournament at this point.
This team has a busy screening week. This evening they host the B1G Sunday Night game against fellow bubbler Michigan. On Wednesday they visit one of the best teams in the conference, Maryland. And on Saturday afternoon they host Penn St.
#-2: Wild (Last Week: -1). A frustrating blip Tuesday, a 1-0 defeat to potential Western Conference rival Anaheim. But other than that, the Wild are enjoying their long homestand, with wins over Detroit, The Team That Was Stolen From Us, and Nashville. Darcy Kuemper is playing very well while spelling Devan Dubnyk. And Jonas Brodin is back from his broken finger.
As of press time, they are -- get this -- nine points clear of Chicago for the Central Division lead. They are eight points better than San Jose for the Western Conference lead, and now stand only one point behind Washington for the most points in the National Hockey League. Again, the Stanley Cup Playoffs is where it's at. But right now, this team -- this organization -- has never enjoyed a better season.
I was only aware of this now: This year, every team has a five-day mini-break that stretches over a weekend. After they play the Blackhawks at home Tuesday, it's the Wild's turn. Interesting.
#-3: Gopher baseball (Re-Entry!). And hey, college baseball is back! And hey, once again, the University of Minnesota is facing a series of postponements and cancellations! They were supposed to start their season Friday in the first of a three-game set versus Cal-Irvine. But Southern California, as you may know, has been inundated with rain. That probably went into the decision to push back Friday's game to Saturday as part of a doubleheader, and then forced them to cancel that game because, I'm guessing, the rain didn't let up until late in the afternoon.
They were able to get the second game in, or one game in (however you want to see it), and after scoring all their runs in the first three innings, the Gophers held on to a 9-8 win over the Anteaters.
I have the faintest clue about this squad. Looking up the preseason conference voting, it appears as though the U., who I forgot went from winning the regular season title to flaming out in the conference tournament by losing both games, is tabbed for a tie for sixth place. Players of note are Starting Pitcher Lucas Gilbreath and Infielders Micah Coffey and Terrin Vavra.
They have another game against the Zots this (Sunday) afternoon. Then, due to the blessing that is the indoor stadium, they will be able to actually play in the Twin Cities before April Fools' Day. I was looking forward to the day where U.S. Bank Stadium will be able to host their first-ever baseball game, vs. Seattle University. But then I looked at the schedule just now and realized that they are playing the Redhawks this weekend ... when I'll be off to Hong Kong. This begins a string of 13 games being played at Das New And Bigger Bank, and I will likely be out of town for the first eight, the latter three of which comprise the Dairy Queen Classic the following weekend, which I also totally forgot. You know, this is kind of a bummer.
(Oh, as a corollary to all this, there's a good chance that I won't be able to write a WMNSS next week. I have no idea if I'll have any time to write a survey. I have no idea if the people I'm staying with even have a computer. So just to forewarn all of you, not only will the survey skip a week, but Wailing And Failing may even go dark for a good chunk of time as well.)
#-4: Timberwolves (Last Week: -3). Crushed short-handed Chicago at Target, made it close but lost to Cleveland at home, then went to Denver and beat the Nuggets by 13. Andrew Wiggins notched 41 points against the Cavaliers and 40 against Denver, becoming the second Woof to score at least 40 back-to-back. One highlight against the Nuggets is a candidate for Dunk Of The Year.
The best dunks show the dunker pushing back on a defender. Those are the best. That illustrates the power of the dunk, you know?
There are no Wolves in the All-Star Game. In fact, I don't think any player on the team participated in any of the festivities. Too bad; I was hoping to see Zach LaVine three-peat in the Slam Dunk Contest, but he's done for the year. Oh well -- at least the entire team has nine days off. They get back to the swing of things Friday at home vs. Dallas. The next day they have to fly all the way down to Houston.
#-5: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -4). I feel kind of bad that I don't have much to say about this club. But after the win over Northwestern at home Monday and a 16-point crushing at Michigan St. Thursday, they sit 14-13 overall. Yeah, so ... yeah. These ladies host Purdue Thursday.
#-6: Gopher wrestling (Last Week: -5). According to this article from Forbes last year, 41 Division I schools have discontinued their wrestling programs since the 1988-9 season, leaving just 76 schools in the top-flight tier of the sport.
Minnesota is one of them. But after the squad's embarrassing 24-20 loss to Ohio St. at the Sports Pavilion Sunday, maybe it's best to just gas this program. I'm serious. They finish 5-4 in Big Ten play, and after the grapplers' dual at Iowa St. this (Sunday) afternoon, they should finish at .500 (6-6) for the year. When was the last time the Goofer wrestling team finished at .500?? Unacceptable.
I'm checking the PairWise; after sweeping Penn St. this weekend, they are now solidly in fourth. However, are the Gophers really the fourth-best team in College Hockey Nation? I don't know. All I can tell is that the U. went into Happy Valley to face what could be the second-best team in the Big Ten and doubled-up the eighth or ninth-best team in the country on Friday, 6-3, then outlasted the Nittany Lions in Overtime Saturday, 4-3. Well, it's more like Rem Pitlick did that to Penn St.; the Freshman from Plymouth tallied a Hat Trick on Friday and scored the OT game-winner Saturday. Surely he'll be the conference's First Star Of The Week.
The fact that they solidly defeated the nearest league competition is a fantastic statement to make. However, points-wise they are still tied atop the B1G with Wisconsin ... their next opponent next weekend at Mariucci. (For some reason the athletic department website has Minnesota facing off against the Royal Credit Union, the sponsors of the two-game series, on the top website banner.) Sweep that series, and not only is the Big Ten regular-season title theirs, a spot in the NCAA Tournament is assured, too.
#0: Gopher softball (Last Week: Positive Numbers). If these Gophers continue to win on the road in these tournaments, there's no reason for them to ever come home! The club has won the first three games of four in the B1G/ACC Challenge this weekend in Raleigh, N.C. They beat Notre Dame, 4-1, Friday as Sara Groenewegen struck out 15; outlasted the Fighting Irish 3-2 in eight innings Saturday as Dani Wagner singled home Ellie Cowger; then, later that day, crushed host N.C. St. 11-0 in five innings. One more game this (Sunday) afternoon and, assuming they win that, they'll be 9-0 to start the year and should rise above their rank of 13th in both college softball polls. They'll try to continue their run with five games next weekend in the Fresno St. Tournament.
#-1: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: 0). Tom Crean, the Head Coach of Indiana, ripped his team after they got humiliated against Michigan last Sunday. One would expect that to be motivation for their next game. That sucked for the U., because guess who the Hoosiers played next?
Nevertheless, despite an extremely tight back-and-forth, Akeem Springs layed in his own three-point miss with three seconds left to go to get the Gophers a thrilling 75-74 win over Indiana at The Barn. That is now four wins in a row for Minnesota (not to mention possibly killing off the Hoosiers' chances of even making the tournament). Checking out The Bracket Matrix (which was last updated Saturday morning), the Gophers are ensconced as a 7-seed. There are still some weeks left, but it'll take a serious downward spiral to jeopardize Richard Pitino's first entry into the NCAA Tournament at this point.
This team has a busy screening week. This evening they host the B1G Sunday Night game against fellow bubbler Michigan. On Wednesday they visit one of the best teams in the conference, Maryland. And on Saturday afternoon they host Penn St.
#-2: Wild (Last Week: -1). A frustrating blip Tuesday, a 1-0 defeat to potential Western Conference rival Anaheim. But other than that, the Wild are enjoying their long homestand, with wins over Detroit, The Team That Was Stolen From Us, and Nashville. Darcy Kuemper is playing very well while spelling Devan Dubnyk. And Jonas Brodin is back from his broken finger.
As of press time, they are -- get this -- nine points clear of Chicago for the Central Division lead. They are eight points better than San Jose for the Western Conference lead, and now stand only one point behind Washington for the most points in the National Hockey League. Again, the Stanley Cup Playoffs is where it's at. But right now, this team -- this organization -- has never enjoyed a better season.
I was only aware of this now: This year, every team has a five-day mini-break that stretches over a weekend. After they play the Blackhawks at home Tuesday, it's the Wild's turn. Interesting.
#-3: Gopher baseball (Re-Entry!). And hey, college baseball is back! And hey, once again, the University of Minnesota is facing a series of postponements and cancellations! They were supposed to start their season Friday in the first of a three-game set versus Cal-Irvine. But Southern California, as you may know, has been inundated with rain. That probably went into the decision to push back Friday's game to Saturday as part of a doubleheader, and then forced them to cancel that game because, I'm guessing, the rain didn't let up until late in the afternoon.
They were able to get the second game in, or one game in (however you want to see it), and after scoring all their runs in the first three innings, the Gophers held on to a 9-8 win over the Anteaters.
I have the faintest clue about this squad. Looking up the preseason conference voting, it appears as though the U., who I forgot went from winning the regular season title to flaming out in the conference tournament by losing both games, is tabbed for a tie for sixth place. Players of note are Starting Pitcher Lucas Gilbreath and Infielders Micah Coffey and Terrin Vavra.
They have another game against the Zots this (Sunday) afternoon. Then, due to the blessing that is the indoor stadium, they will be able to actually play in the Twin Cities before April Fools' Day. I was looking forward to the day where U.S. Bank Stadium will be able to host their first-ever baseball game, vs. Seattle University. But then I looked at the schedule just now and realized that they are playing the Redhawks this weekend ... when I'll be off to Hong Kong. This begins a string of 13 games being played at Das New And Bigger Bank, and I will likely be out of town for the first eight, the latter three of which comprise the Dairy Queen Classic the following weekend, which I also totally forgot. You know, this is kind of a bummer.
(Oh, as a corollary to all this, there's a good chance that I won't be able to write a WMNSS next week. I have no idea if I'll have any time to write a survey. I have no idea if the people I'm staying with even have a computer. So just to forewarn all of you, not only will the survey skip a week, but Wailing And Failing may even go dark for a good chunk of time as well.)
#-4: Timberwolves (Last Week: -3). Crushed short-handed Chicago at Target, made it close but lost to Cleveland at home, then went to Denver and beat the Nuggets by 13. Andrew Wiggins notched 41 points against the Cavaliers and 40 against Denver, becoming the second Woof to score at least 40 back-to-back. One highlight against the Nuggets is a candidate for Dunk Of The Year.
The best dunks show the dunker pushing back on a defender. Those are the best. That illustrates the power of the dunk, you know?
There are no Wolves in the All-Star Game. In fact, I don't think any player on the team participated in any of the festivities. Too bad; I was hoping to see Zach LaVine three-peat in the Slam Dunk Contest, but he's done for the year. Oh well -- at least the entire team has nine days off. They get back to the swing of things Friday at home vs. Dallas. The next day they have to fly all the way down to Houston.
#-5: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -4). I feel kind of bad that I don't have much to say about this club. But after the win over Northwestern at home Monday and a 16-point crushing at Michigan St. Thursday, they sit 14-13 overall. Yeah, so ... yeah. These ladies host Purdue Thursday.
#-6: Gopher wrestling (Last Week: -5). According to this article from Forbes last year, 41 Division I schools have discontinued their wrestling programs since the 1988-9 season, leaving just 76 schools in the top-flight tier of the sport.
Minnesota is one of them. But after the squad's embarrassing 24-20 loss to Ohio St. at the Sports Pavilion Sunday, maybe it's best to just gas this program. I'm serious. They finish 5-4 in Big Ten play, and after the grapplers' dual at Iowa St. this (Sunday) afternoon, they should finish at .500 (6-6) for the year. When was the last time the Goofer wrestling team finished at .500?? Unacceptable.
Saturday, February 18, 2017
And Travelling Back To The Past
After My Fucking Father went on his bizarre lectures about his pottery and setting up a schedule as soon as my parents leave, I now feel it's imperative for me to leave and watch my co-worker/friend's performance in his musical tonight. I'll be in Hong Kong when the show ends, shows begin during the week on Wednesdays, and I'm sure I'll be busy in the middle of the week. I could have gone Sunday, but after what he did today ... eh, it's Saturday, I should be doing shit Saturday, I'll see the show Saturday.
And it just hit me. This musical is at a theater that my parents owned three decades ago. I don't remember when they bought it, but they showed Chinese movies. It was a very odd place for a foreign theater house to show since the neighborhood, at least at that time, was very working class with a Polish bent. They had it mainly for several years. Don't exactly know what happened, but apparently there was a bomb scare or an actual bomb that went off at the theater, and after that business was so bad that my folks sold the theater back to the city or the state. (Don't quote me on this; I may have that story totally wrong.)
It languished in disarray until about a decade and a half ago, where, along with the gentrifying neighborhood, it was refurbished into a performance theater. I don't remember the last day I stepped foot in that theater, but I haven't stepped foot in that theater after we sold it. Till tonight though.
I remember just playing around as a kid, riding around in a chair with rollers on around the lobby and the concessions stand. I'm pretty sure I did that when the theater opened up for movies in the evening. But a lot of the time me, my brother and my cousins would walk up the spiral staircase to the offices upstairs and just play. I remember that the spiral staircase went further up past the office, but since there were no lights we were too scared to go up and see what was up there.
I also remember that my brother and I had these Matchbox cars and we would race them in the office. One of them fell through a hole that surrounded an old pipe, and try as we might, we couldn't retrieve it. I actually think of that poor car once in a while, even now. In the renovation they probably busted down the walls and the pipes and find it -- "What the hell is this?" But I also imagine it stuck inbetween two pipes or wedged in there somewhere, trapped forever.
I didn't realize until this morning that this should be more of an epiphany than I have treated it. As soon as I step through that door I am going to compare what I see to what I remember. Is the lobby floor slanted? Is the concession stand still there? Are there still curtained arches on both sides of the house? Most importantly, I wonder if I'm going to be physically floored by all the memories that might hit me if I see even the slightest similarity to my faint memories of the theater.
I might tell my friend. Heck, I might not see my friend after the show. (That reminds me; I'm going to Messenger him and tell him I'm coming to see his show tonight.) I don't think I will tell him about my history with the production's house tonight. Too ... painful and raw.
And it just hit me. This musical is at a theater that my parents owned three decades ago. I don't remember when they bought it, but they showed Chinese movies. It was a very odd place for a foreign theater house to show since the neighborhood, at least at that time, was very working class with a Polish bent. They had it mainly for several years. Don't exactly know what happened, but apparently there was a bomb scare or an actual bomb that went off at the theater, and after that business was so bad that my folks sold the theater back to the city or the state. (Don't quote me on this; I may have that story totally wrong.)
It languished in disarray until about a decade and a half ago, where, along with the gentrifying neighborhood, it was refurbished into a performance theater. I don't remember the last day I stepped foot in that theater, but I haven't stepped foot in that theater after we sold it. Till tonight though.
I remember just playing around as a kid, riding around in a chair with rollers on around the lobby and the concessions stand. I'm pretty sure I did that when the theater opened up for movies in the evening. But a lot of the time me, my brother and my cousins would walk up the spiral staircase to the offices upstairs and just play. I remember that the spiral staircase went further up past the office, but since there were no lights we were too scared to go up and see what was up there.
I also remember that my brother and I had these Matchbox cars and we would race them in the office. One of them fell through a hole that surrounded an old pipe, and try as we might, we couldn't retrieve it. I actually think of that poor car once in a while, even now. In the renovation they probably busted down the walls and the pipes and find it -- "What the hell is this?" But I also imagine it stuck inbetween two pipes or wedged in there somewhere, trapped forever.
I didn't realize until this morning that this should be more of an epiphany than I have treated it. As soon as I step through that door I am going to compare what I see to what I remember. Is the lobby floor slanted? Is the concession stand still there? Are there still curtained arches on both sides of the house? Most importantly, I wonder if I'm going to be physically floored by all the memories that might hit me if I see even the slightest similarity to my faint memories of the theater.
I might tell my friend. Heck, I might not see my friend after the show. (That reminds me; I'm going to Messenger him and tell him I'm coming to see his show tonight.) I don't think I will tell him about my history with the production's house tonight. Too ... painful and raw.
Friday, February 17, 2017
Guess I'm Travelling To The Unknown
I tried calling Grandmother last night, after seeing the pilot episode of Big Little Lies (verdict: intriguing, but after seeing the synopsis of the book on which it is based [I won't have any ability to see the entire mini-series] I hope the show will be a lot more modulated than the pulpy-seeming source material). She wasn't sleeping. Actually, I don't really know if she was or not, because no one picked up.
I am not certain at all that she's well. I am not certain at all that she's even alive. Huh?
I am not certain at all that she's well. I am not certain at all that she's even alive. Huh?
So, after work today (well, a little bit after work today) I am going to meet this former stripper down in Burnsville. Been meeting to see her because I work down here and it's a lot shorter than, say, seeing her from the test scoring place out west or from home. Ever since I set this up earlier this week I've been fantasizing about it, in particular how I am going to "surprise" her.
I'm going to stop at the Megamall to change out of the long underwear I'm wearing. It's for her, but it's also for the best because it's going to get up into the 60's this afternoon. Once I get there, I'll make sure the coast is clear of anybody enjoying the spring day. If so, I'll walk to her door, bring the bag that contains my long underwear, hold it in such a way that it'll shield my groin from neighbors who may happen to be at the window, and take out my dick, right at the front door. So when she opens it and comes in to hug me ... surprise!!!
Seriously, I've been thinking about that all week.
I'm going to stop at the Megamall to change out of the long underwear I'm wearing. It's for her, but it's also for the best because it's going to get up into the 60's this afternoon. Once I get there, I'll make sure the coast is clear of anybody enjoying the spring day. If so, I'll walk to her door, bring the bag that contains my long underwear, hold it in such a way that it'll shield my groin from neighbors who may happen to be at the window, and take out my dick, right at the front door. So when she opens it and comes in to hug me ... surprise!!!
Seriously, I've been thinking about that all week.
Thursday, February 16, 2017
Should Not Have Gone For Seconds?
OK, so I was told by an authority figure (not my boss) to eat the rest of the leftovers -- ribs and beans, so good. I got three bones and beans and I was stuffed, so I rejected her offer. But they were so damn tasty that I changed my mind and got three more bones and beans. However, the second time there were only, like, five bones left. So I had a passing thought on in fact passing on them. I mean, there will be two or three other people who want seconds -- I don't have to change my mind and get seconds, right?
Well, I got them, and people were looking at me all weird, as if I were greedy. My God, she told me to grab some more!!! Well, too late. And it was good, but now I'm full. And I'm really sleepy too, really sleepy.
Well, I got them, and people were looking at me all weird, as if I were greedy. My God, she told me to grab some more!!! Well, too late. And it was good, but now I'm full. And I'm really sleepy too, really sleepy.
Wednesday, February 15, 2017
Can I just say that this is the second time I left my cube, assuming that I locked my computer, and, after getting back from taking a dump, I see that I had in fact not locked up my computer and my Facebook was there for all to see. It is the second time this has happened, this "not locking the computer when I thought I did" thing. It pisses me off; not only are you required to lock your computer when you leave your cubicle (we deal with private information here), I don't want random strangers -- or worse, my bosses -- looking at my social media.
And I feel that it's worse this time because, even though people come around to my cube all the time anyway, I am anticipating them coming around around the time I left my computer unlocked (unbeknownst to me) because we apparently are having lunch together. I know that they've seen me on Facebook already. My problem is compounded when 1) I know that they'll be coming around and I guess I didn't do anything and 2) my computer is open when I'm not around, which is a no-no.
Look, I think I'm in a good relationship with this company, but if I'm not, this very well could be the dagger, the reason I won't be invited back to work here after I leave next week. Aggravating!
And I feel that it's worse this time because, even though people come around to my cube all the time anyway, I am anticipating them coming around around the time I left my computer unlocked (unbeknownst to me) because we apparently are having lunch together. I know that they've seen me on Facebook already. My problem is compounded when 1) I know that they'll be coming around and I guess I didn't do anything and 2) my computer is open when I'm not around, which is a no-no.
Look, I think I'm in a good relationship with this company, but if I'm not, this very well could be the dagger, the reason I won't be invited back to work here after I leave next week. Aggravating!
Tuesday, February 14, 2017
This May Be A Good Time To Leave This Job
Starting last week, the company I work for started plans to build a brand-new parking ramp right in the middle of their pretty large parking lot. The ramp is going to take up, like, 35-40% of the lot, but it's the portion closest to the building. Once I saw the map of the areas that will be roped off so construction can begin on the ramp (it'll be finished around October, I believe?), I knew it was going to be a pain in the ass to park starting from last Wednesday.
Well, the first day of the new parking restriction, Wednesday, was not bad because I actually found a spot in what is now the closest part of the lot that'll remain open. It's in the very back, but if I didn't find anything in this place, I would have to park in the area on the other side of the LRT tracks. It's huge, but it's far.
With the exception of Friday, when seemingly a quarter of the cars that usually get to work take the day off, I have had to park in that far lot ever since. And even though I haven't timed it, I swear it takes me at least a couple more minutes to get to the front door and thus to my cubicle than it used to. That means I have to drive out of the house earlier to get to work on time. Well, it would, except that I am leaving this assignment in a couple weeks.
I write this because of where I parked yesterday and today. Yesterday morning I had no choice but to park in this shadowy lot, but I got to a row of spots that were only singles. You know that most parking ... uh, clusters have two spots end-to-end, so that you see two cars usually facing each other in the parking lot? Yeah, I got onto a row that was only one. The rest of the lot were doubles, for some reason. Anyway, this morning I parked at a double. Moreover, I parked in a row further than this single row from yesterday morning. This single row was filled even though I know I got to work 10-5 minutes earlier this morning than I did yesterday morning.
So I get here earlier and I have to park farther away? And I still have to have a canteen with me in order to hydrate myself on my way to the front door? Yeah, if I'm called back for next season, this ramp should be done, and parking would go back to not being an annoyance. Two more weeks of this is enough.
Well, the first day of the new parking restriction, Wednesday, was not bad because I actually found a spot in what is now the closest part of the lot that'll remain open. It's in the very back, but if I didn't find anything in this place, I would have to park in the area on the other side of the LRT tracks. It's huge, but it's far.
With the exception of Friday, when seemingly a quarter of the cars that usually get to work take the day off, I have had to park in that far lot ever since. And even though I haven't timed it, I swear it takes me at least a couple more minutes to get to the front door and thus to my cubicle than it used to. That means I have to drive out of the house earlier to get to work on time. Well, it would, except that I am leaving this assignment in a couple weeks.
I write this because of where I parked yesterday and today. Yesterday morning I had no choice but to park in this shadowy lot, but I got to a row of spots that were only singles. You know that most parking ... uh, clusters have two spots end-to-end, so that you see two cars usually facing each other in the parking lot? Yeah, I got onto a row that was only one. The rest of the lot were doubles, for some reason. Anyway, this morning I parked at a double. Moreover, I parked in a row further than this single row from yesterday morning. This single row was filled even though I know I got to work 10-5 minutes earlier this morning than I did yesterday morning.
So I get here earlier and I have to park farther away? And I still have to have a canteen with me in order to hydrate myself on my way to the front door? Yeah, if I'm called back for next season, this ramp should be done, and parking would go back to not being an annoyance. Two more weeks of this is enough.
And On A Brighter Note, My Parents Are Headed To Vegas Soon
At dinner I finally told them that my dates on my trip to Hong Kong. In exchange, Mother told me they were going to leave for Las Vegas four days after I come back. And, magically and nonsensically, my mood has lightened. I started having visions of getting things done, of being able to wash clothes according to their instructions instead of just going with "whites" and "coloreds" just so my folks wouldn't get pissed I'm not washing full loads of laundry, of walking around the house naked -- of just being able to breathe.
Of course, I won't be doing the "getting things done" thing, especially since my parents are noncommittal about how long they'll be there. They are there to tend to their real estate properties and they have no idea when they'll get done. However long or short it will be, I can, for a while at least, relax.
Of course, I won't be doing the "getting things done" thing, especially since my parents are noncommittal about how long they'll be there. They are there to tend to their real estate properties and they have no idea when they'll get done. However long or short it will be, I can, for a while at least, relax.
Monday, February 13, 2017
Well, I Bit The Bullet. I'm Going To Go See Grandmother
After a lot of hemming and hawing, which I usually do when I try and do something I've never done before, I have successfully (?) booked my tickets to see Grandmother in Hong Kong Sunday/tonight.
There were two levels of trepidation which prevented me from booking them sooner. One of them was timing -- when should I go? But the combination of the test scoring place having a start time for the project I was assigned to plus the winding down of this part-time extension at work finally pushed me to say, "OK, if I am going to see Grandmother before she dies, I have to do it now, and I might as well do it before the test scoring project starts. And if that means leaving the health insurance company early, so be it." Well, I didn't say that whole thing, but you get the point.
The other trepidation which followed was money, which kind of related to timing. I have looked for fares before, but I always figured there was a chance that they could go down, so why book so soon. Well, not knowing when was the best time in my schedule to leave pushed off the booking to the point where I am now leaving less than two weeks from now, and again, if I was going to do this in order to see Grandmother, I have to make a decision.
Luckily, I feel certain that I got a good price. Now, I had to cobble together my itinerary in order to do it. Although I have never searched for flights to Asia, I did search for flights to Europe when I saw my sister get married to my brother-in-law in Switzerland. Upon looking online and not being happy with my entire itinerary laid out through one airline or alliance, I realized something: The fares to an international destination may be much cheaper if the originating city is on the coast. Therefore, if I can find a good enough deal from, say, Newark to Zurich, would I be able to then find a similarly inexpensive flight from Minneapolis-St. Paul to Newark, and thus save myself oodles of money? That's what I did when seeing my sister's civil wedding -- I found the cheapest fares to Zurich, saw that Newark was workable, and find MSP-NEW flights that got me to Liberty before my international leg and took me out of Liberty after I touched down on my return. (I think I used my miles to get a free airline ticket domestically, in fact. I think I also remember being delayed NEW-MSP, and I think I coaxed a travel agent to get me on another flight on another airline that was leaving that evening.)
That's what I did in this case. I went to find the cheapest tickets to Hong Kong, regardless of where it started from. Over my several searches the cheapest start city came down to two: San Francisco and Los Angeles. This is where I really dithered; for both cities I was looking for the cheapest flights getting there while also joining together time-wise in order for me not to miss any connections.
It gets more complicated. I told you how United took away all my miles. The e-mail I got back from them in reply to my predicament detailed three ways I could get them back. One was to sign up for a United credit card and use it. I'm not going to just sign up for yet another card, and besides, I would nevertheless have to pay a $100 fee. I could also buy them all back, but for $200 -- expensive. The third way is a compromise; I would pay $100, but promise to take a round-trip on United within 90 days after agreeing to pay that non-refundable amount. Then, I could get the miles back.
So for some time I was debating not only how to find the cheapest flights to take me to Hong Kong, but whether or not United should be part of the picture. I was going to pay an extra $100 on top of whatever United ticket (or United airline partner ticket) I was going to purchase. If a non-United ticket was about $200 less than a similar ticket purchased on United, I would have to decide if I should go with United or not. And on top of all that, I wanted to accrue some miles on my Delta account, and the way I could get miles for both accounts was to fly domestically on one airline (or its alliance) and internationally on the other (or its alliance). But which one? Ah, that's why I waited.
Finally, the prices on the leg over the Pacific was getting to be too expensive. So, finally, yesterday (Sunday) afternoon I did it. For the longest time I was going to go internationally from SFO, but I waited too long, so the cheapest price started from LAX and on this airline called China Eastern. Never heard of it before. But they're on Delta's alliance, so I am going to get really fat on that account. That's how it works, right -- any miles you get on a partner can go directly to my Delta account?
That meant that, in all fairness, my trip from here to LAX would be on United. But the cheapest flight there and back was what Kayak called a "Hacked Fare," where I would fly to L.A. on United but fly back on American. American took all my miles a long time ago. Also, I just saw online that I could also get my miles back from them, but it would also cost me $200. Generously from them, however, there is no expiration date on getting back my expired miles (so to speak), whereas with United I have another 18 months after losing my miles after which I would lose them completely and forever.
I called United customer service last (Sunday) night, and the really nice representative who helped me confirmed for me everything I was told on the e-mail. The price difference between the "Hacked Fare" and the all-United ticket was $110, and even though I was going to shell upwards of a grand (or at least I thought), I thought I should save as much money as I could.
This is where things got interesting. I had learned online that the prices for airfares you search for may not be the lowest possible because airlines and airfare search sites plant cookies that make them aware you are a repeat surfer, and therefore they boost the price on you. So I, a diehard Chrome user, switched to Safari. However, either because Microsoft no longer supports Vista or Safari or something, when I clicked on the "Hacked Fair" deal, it wouldn't budge. The damn browser froze on me.
So I went to Chrome, which worked. And (this is where I might lose you guys; I admit I didn't have my thinking totally together) because I had already used Kayak that afternoon and I didn't want to take the time to clear out my cookies because I didn't know if the computer would crash, I decided to go to this recommended airfare search engine that I had never used before: Momondo. That site did not have the power to piece together round trips on two different airlines, like Kayak did. However, they found an all-United flight, MSP-LAX, for $315. With the $100 re-registration fee, that would have been a dollar more expensive that Kayak's "Hacked Fare" plus the $200 I was mentally adding in to get all my United miles back. (Remember that the "Hacked Fare" would not have counted to getting all my miles back because the requirement was a round-trip ticket.) The United rep said I had 18 months to decide whether or not I wanted to just buy my miles back at $200, but if I was liable to forget not to let my miles expire, I was liable to forget not to let my miles ... uh, expire expire.
The rep also told me that I could book and then re-register for $100, and that was what I was going to do. The $315 ticket was being offered on a third-party site (just like the LAX-HKG ticket), and I didn't think too much of it. However, I then looked at the English on this third-party site (which felt British to me), and I started to look at all the typos. That raised a red flag with me. I then noticed that the page wasn't secure; there was no "lock" icon at the front of the URL field. (This is when I freaked and remembered that I did not notice that same lock when I booked my overseas flight. The ticket number checks out with China Eastern and so far, there are no hinky fees on my credit card.) Finally, when I put in my credit card number, the wrong credit card popped out. How could these guys get that wrong? At that point, I got too scared, and I didn't book.
That's when I remembered one tip about finding the cheapest airfares: Sometimes you should try the airlines themselves. So I went to United's website. I found the precise flights and times to get to LAX and then return to MSP. And the total was ... $287. You know, sometimes third-party websites do not get you the cheapest tickets.
So, all told, the flights from MSP to LAX and then to HKG (with a change of planes in Shanghai) and back, plus the $100 re-registration fee through United cost me just a shade less than $850. That was around the lowest price I saw when I first began looking. There is one major sacrifice I made: The cheapest price, which became so because I procrastinated, was not a Saturday departure date but a Friday one. Therefore, my plan of at least getting through an entire final week at work is gone; that Thursday will be my last day. Also, there still could be a wrench in the works. I arrive at LAX only two hours and change before I depart for Shanghai and then Hong Kong. I would have to travel from the domestic side to the international terminal, and from the looks of it, it could be a long haul. Plus I am travelling on a Friday, and in an airport I haven't been in in two decades. Finally, of course, there are the security issues, piled on doubly so because I am going to a different country. Will two hours be enough to make my connection? And what if my parents decide they want me to take a whole suitcase of stuff with me to give to my family in Hong Kong, which they are likely to do?
Well, this is my anxiety taking over. I still have a lot to worry about, and a lot of things that can go wrong. But at least the first step, deciding to do this, is done. It took me a long time, but I did it.
There were two levels of trepidation which prevented me from booking them sooner. One of them was timing -- when should I go? But the combination of the test scoring place having a start time for the project I was assigned to plus the winding down of this part-time extension at work finally pushed me to say, "OK, if I am going to see Grandmother before she dies, I have to do it now, and I might as well do it before the test scoring project starts. And if that means leaving the health insurance company early, so be it." Well, I didn't say that whole thing, but you get the point.
The other trepidation which followed was money, which kind of related to timing. I have looked for fares before, but I always figured there was a chance that they could go down, so why book so soon. Well, not knowing when was the best time in my schedule to leave pushed off the booking to the point where I am now leaving less than two weeks from now, and again, if I was going to do this in order to see Grandmother, I have to make a decision.
Luckily, I feel certain that I got a good price. Now, I had to cobble together my itinerary in order to do it. Although I have never searched for flights to Asia, I did search for flights to Europe when I saw my sister get married to my brother-in-law in Switzerland. Upon looking online and not being happy with my entire itinerary laid out through one airline or alliance, I realized something: The fares to an international destination may be much cheaper if the originating city is on the coast. Therefore, if I can find a good enough deal from, say, Newark to Zurich, would I be able to then find a similarly inexpensive flight from Minneapolis-St. Paul to Newark, and thus save myself oodles of money? That's what I did when seeing my sister's civil wedding -- I found the cheapest fares to Zurich, saw that Newark was workable, and find MSP-NEW flights that got me to Liberty before my international leg and took me out of Liberty after I touched down on my return. (I think I used my miles to get a free airline ticket domestically, in fact. I think I also remember being delayed NEW-MSP, and I think I coaxed a travel agent to get me on another flight on another airline that was leaving that evening.)
That's what I did in this case. I went to find the cheapest tickets to Hong Kong, regardless of where it started from. Over my several searches the cheapest start city came down to two: San Francisco and Los Angeles. This is where I really dithered; for both cities I was looking for the cheapest flights getting there while also joining together time-wise in order for me not to miss any connections.
It gets more complicated. I told you how United took away all my miles. The e-mail I got back from them in reply to my predicament detailed three ways I could get them back. One was to sign up for a United credit card and use it. I'm not going to just sign up for yet another card, and besides, I would nevertheless have to pay a $100 fee. I could also buy them all back, but for $200 -- expensive. The third way is a compromise; I would pay $100, but promise to take a round-trip on United within 90 days after agreeing to pay that non-refundable amount. Then, I could get the miles back.
So for some time I was debating not only how to find the cheapest flights to take me to Hong Kong, but whether or not United should be part of the picture. I was going to pay an extra $100 on top of whatever United ticket (or United airline partner ticket) I was going to purchase. If a non-United ticket was about $200 less than a similar ticket purchased on United, I would have to decide if I should go with United or not. And on top of all that, I wanted to accrue some miles on my Delta account, and the way I could get miles for both accounts was to fly domestically on one airline (or its alliance) and internationally on the other (or its alliance). But which one? Ah, that's why I waited.
Finally, the prices on the leg over the Pacific was getting to be too expensive. So, finally, yesterday (Sunday) afternoon I did it. For the longest time I was going to go internationally from SFO, but I waited too long, so the cheapest price started from LAX and on this airline called China Eastern. Never heard of it before. But they're on Delta's alliance, so I am going to get really fat on that account. That's how it works, right -- any miles you get on a partner can go directly to my Delta account?
That meant that, in all fairness, my trip from here to LAX would be on United. But the cheapest flight there and back was what Kayak called a "Hacked Fare," where I would fly to L.A. on United but fly back on American. American took all my miles a long time ago. Also, I just saw online that I could also get my miles back from them, but it would also cost me $200. Generously from them, however, there is no expiration date on getting back my expired miles (so to speak), whereas with United I have another 18 months after losing my miles after which I would lose them completely and forever.
I called United customer service last (Sunday) night, and the really nice representative who helped me confirmed for me everything I was told on the e-mail. The price difference between the "Hacked Fare" and the all-United ticket was $110, and even though I was going to shell upwards of a grand (or at least I thought), I thought I should save as much money as I could.
This is where things got interesting. I had learned online that the prices for airfares you search for may not be the lowest possible because airlines and airfare search sites plant cookies that make them aware you are a repeat surfer, and therefore they boost the price on you. So I, a diehard Chrome user, switched to Safari. However, either because Microsoft no longer supports Vista or Safari or something, when I clicked on the "Hacked Fair" deal, it wouldn't budge. The damn browser froze on me.
So I went to Chrome, which worked. And (this is where I might lose you guys; I admit I didn't have my thinking totally together) because I had already used Kayak that afternoon and I didn't want to take the time to clear out my cookies because I didn't know if the computer would crash, I decided to go to this recommended airfare search engine that I had never used before: Momondo. That site did not have the power to piece together round trips on two different airlines, like Kayak did. However, they found an all-United flight, MSP-LAX, for $315. With the $100 re-registration fee, that would have been a dollar more expensive that Kayak's "Hacked Fare" plus the $200 I was mentally adding in to get all my United miles back. (Remember that the "Hacked Fare" would not have counted to getting all my miles back because the requirement was a round-trip ticket.) The United rep said I had 18 months to decide whether or not I wanted to just buy my miles back at $200, but if I was liable to forget not to let my miles expire, I was liable to forget not to let my miles ... uh, expire expire.
The rep also told me that I could book and then re-register for $100, and that was what I was going to do. The $315 ticket was being offered on a third-party site (just like the LAX-HKG ticket), and I didn't think too much of it. However, I then looked at the English on this third-party site (which felt British to me), and I started to look at all the typos. That raised a red flag with me. I then noticed that the page wasn't secure; there was no "lock" icon at the front of the URL field. (This is when I freaked and remembered that I did not notice that same lock when I booked my overseas flight. The ticket number checks out with China Eastern and so far, there are no hinky fees on my credit card.) Finally, when I put in my credit card number, the wrong credit card popped out. How could these guys get that wrong? At that point, I got too scared, and I didn't book.
That's when I remembered one tip about finding the cheapest airfares: Sometimes you should try the airlines themselves. So I went to United's website. I found the precise flights and times to get to LAX and then return to MSP. And the total was ... $287. You know, sometimes third-party websites do not get you the cheapest tickets.
So, all told, the flights from MSP to LAX and then to HKG (with a change of planes in Shanghai) and back, plus the $100 re-registration fee through United cost me just a shade less than $850. That was around the lowest price I saw when I first began looking. There is one major sacrifice I made: The cheapest price, which became so because I procrastinated, was not a Saturday departure date but a Friday one. Therefore, my plan of at least getting through an entire final week at work is gone; that Thursday will be my last day. Also, there still could be a wrench in the works. I arrive at LAX only two hours and change before I depart for Shanghai and then Hong Kong. I would have to travel from the domestic side to the international terminal, and from the looks of it, it could be a long haul. Plus I am travelling on a Friday, and in an airport I haven't been in in two decades. Finally, of course, there are the security issues, piled on doubly so because I am going to a different country. Will two hours be enough to make my connection? And what if my parents decide they want me to take a whole suitcase of stuff with me to give to my family in Hong Kong, which they are likely to do?
Well, this is my anxiety taking over. I still have a lot to worry about, and a lot of things that can go wrong. But at least the first step, deciding to do this, is done. It took me a long time, but I did it.
Sunday, February 12, 2017
The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey
Positive Numbers: Gopher softball (Re-Entry!). Didn't realize until Friday that the college softball season begins this week. And so far, so very good for the Gophers, who won all five of their games in the Texas Tournament in Austin, capped off late this morning with a 10-2 Mercy Rule win over Maryland in five innings. They also took two against the host Longhorns and beat Colorado St., 5-1, over the weekend.
I have no idea how good this team is supposed to be. They are ranked in the mid-teens. In the conference, Michigan (again) is considered to be the Big Dog. In College Softball Nation, Oklahoma appears to be the best team. All I know is that Sara Groenewegen is a Senior, and so this club has one final year to do something substantial before the program loses Unarguably The Best Softball Player In Golden Gophers History.
Since we live in Minnesota, Minnesota won't be playing in Minnesota for a long time, sunny skies notwithstanding. This weekend they head to Raleigh, N.C. for the annual B1G/ACC Challenge. They play a doubleheader vs. Notre Dame, then play two against host North Carolina St.
#0: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -3). Just as this team's season was spiralling out of control, they banished their five-game losing streak with a current three-game winning streak after outlasting Iowa in Double Overtime and then outlasting Rutgers in Piscataway. I'm not sure how big of a tournament threat they'll be now that their offensive woes have hardened into a team weakness. That's why I'm putting the U. softball team in front of these guys, even if this is the softballers' opening week. But for the first time in Richard Pitino's tenure, they should -- should -- be a tournament team, and that is something.
The squad has only one game this screening week: Home to very-much-in-trouble Indiana at The Barn Wednesday.
#-1: Wild (Last Week: -2). Doubled-up The Bastard Atlanta Thrashers in Winnipeg, came home to lose to Chicago at the X in Overtime, the aftermath of which generated some Twitter-based consternation from analyst Jeremy Roenick, then outlasted Tampa Bay in a Shootout. So they still lead the Western Conference (three points clear of Chicago) and at 36-18 they still have the second-best record in the National Hockey League (behind Washington). And Devyn Dubnyk has won 30 games already. In a normal week, this team would be tops in the survey.
They are in the middle of playing six games every other day. Those six games are also at home. (It's part of a seven-game homestand.) It starts this afternoon, where they host Detroit in the NBC Sunday Afternoon game. The other opponents are Anaheim, The Bastard North Stars, and Nashville.
#-2: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -1). Split at Ohio St. when they should have won both. Saturday's 6-5 win was notable for a few reasons. First, the U. came back from a 3-0 Buckeye lead. They also tied the game after Ohio St. made it 4-3 and 5-4; Jake Bischoff's PP goal was the only time the U. led all game. The much more notable feat, however, is that all of the Gophers' goals (not just Bischoff's) came on the Power Play. The six goals are a modern-era record; I don't know if a Minnesota club, or any club, has ever scored so many goals solely on the man advantage.
The NCAA Tournament begins in March. Since it's the month before, I think it's finally time to start looking at the PairWise and the projections. As of press time (I won't link to it because it's the page that refreshes with updates), the U. is settled in fifth, behind NCHC squads Minnesota-Duluth and Denver, Boston U., and Harvard. Using the advanced metric KARCH, which regards itself as more indicative of team strength, the Gophers are sixth, behind all of the above teams and Penn St.
Is this team that good -- good enough to fight for the Frozen Four in Chicago? They have a stern test this weekend -- at the Nittany Lions.
#-3: Timberwolves (Last Week: -6). Friend had a free ticket to Friday's match against The Bastard Charlotte Hornets. I don't really know this friend well, but after he volunteered this second ticket a second time on Facebook, I figured none of his other friends wanted it, so I swooped in and saw my first T-Wolves game featuring this bright new nucleus.
And so I saw close-up (great seats, by the way) how frustrating this team is. They got off to a huge lead in the Second Quarter, where at one point they were up by, like, 16 points. But a four-point lead at Halftime quickly turned into a deficit in The Dreaded Third Quarter. My friend and I got to talking a bit in the Second Half, though not as much in the First. I kind of noticed the Pelicans's comeback in the third; my friend suddenly looked up at one point and realized that the game was tied. After that, the fact that the Woofie Dogs simply couldn't make their shots was readily apparent, and by the time New Orleans stretched the lead to as many as 21 points in the Fourth, the club's fate was beyond sealed.
This was a game between two teams that were playing with records of 20-33. Both squads should be better than their records indicate. That dulled some of the shine of the storyline I looked forward to: The matchup between the two most-promising big men in the National Basketball Association, Karl-Anthony Towns vs. Anthony Davis. Both players brought it -- Towns poured in 36 and made all nine of his Free Throws, while Davis countered with 42 on 16-of-22 shooting ... and, of course, the win. But the shitty offense from the rest of the team, combined with the shitty defense from all of the team, remains a baffling mystery. How does a team this talented lose by 16 to a team equally underachieving, with two of their rotation players (Tyreke Evans and Quincy Pondexter) injured, at home?
The screening week was just as weird: They lost by two to medicore Miami, but fought off arguably The Second-Best Team In The Eastern Conference, Toronto, by three. They finish a six-game homestand (a homestand by both winter pro teams at the same time? That shouldn't happen. That depletes security resources) this week this afternoon versus Chicago at 2:30 (OK, I just realized that the Wild play in St. Paul starting at 2 ... two teams in the same area shouldn't be playing at the same time. I don't care if sports leagues don't coordinate, this shouldn't happen, because this is a serious depletion of security resources) and Defending World Champions Cleveland Tuesday.
They play in Denver the next day, come back to play Dallas at Target Friday, then head to Houston Saturday. Wait a second -- back-to-back ... back-to-backs, both of them home-road? And these aren't bus rides across the state line either; they have to go to Denver and then to Houston. Holy shit, this is a horribly unfair part of the schedule!!! Who the fuck made this?!?!?!
#-4: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -5). Got crushed at Penn St., 77-66, then immolated Rutgers at Williams, 80-46. (Is this a C. Vivian Stringer-coached Rutgers team?) (Shrug) This week: The make-up game at home Monday vs. Northwestern, which was postponed from Jan. 11 because of the suicide of Wildcats Guard Jordan Hankins. They also visit Michigan St. Thursday.
#-5: Gopher wrestling (Last Week: -4). I don't remember when Brandon Eggum was named Head Coach. But I assume that being named HC means you don't get embarrassed by rival Iowa at home 27-11. I know that the program has a very strong following. But if that following is small, even cult-ish, and if that team isn't even winning ... well, what's it worth?
I found it weird that a Big Ten opponent hasn't played at the Sports Pavilion in half a decade. But such as it is for Ohio St., who travel here to play these Goofers for a dual today.
I have no idea how good this team is supposed to be. They are ranked in the mid-teens. In the conference, Michigan (again) is considered to be the Big Dog. In College Softball Nation, Oklahoma appears to be the best team. All I know is that Sara Groenewegen is a Senior, and so this club has one final year to do something substantial before the program loses Unarguably The Best Softball Player In Golden Gophers History.
Since we live in Minnesota, Minnesota won't be playing in Minnesota for a long time, sunny skies notwithstanding. This weekend they head to Raleigh, N.C. for the annual B1G/ACC Challenge. They play a doubleheader vs. Notre Dame, then play two against host North Carolina St.
#0: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -3). Just as this team's season was spiralling out of control, they banished their five-game losing streak with a current three-game winning streak after outlasting Iowa in Double Overtime and then outlasting Rutgers in Piscataway. I'm not sure how big of a tournament threat they'll be now that their offensive woes have hardened into a team weakness. That's why I'm putting the U. softball team in front of these guys, even if this is the softballers' opening week. But for the first time in Richard Pitino's tenure, they should -- should -- be a tournament team, and that is something.
The squad has only one game this screening week: Home to very-much-in-trouble Indiana at The Barn Wednesday.
#-1: Wild (Last Week: -2). Doubled-up The Bastard Atlanta Thrashers in Winnipeg, came home to lose to Chicago at the X in Overtime, the aftermath of which generated some Twitter-based consternation from analyst Jeremy Roenick, then outlasted Tampa Bay in a Shootout. So they still lead the Western Conference (three points clear of Chicago) and at 36-18 they still have the second-best record in the National Hockey League (behind Washington). And Devyn Dubnyk has won 30 games already. In a normal week, this team would be tops in the survey.
They are in the middle of playing six games every other day. Those six games are also at home. (It's part of a seven-game homestand.) It starts this afternoon, where they host Detroit in the NBC Sunday Afternoon game. The other opponents are Anaheim, The Bastard North Stars, and Nashville.
#-2: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -1). Split at Ohio St. when they should have won both. Saturday's 6-5 win was notable for a few reasons. First, the U. came back from a 3-0 Buckeye lead. They also tied the game after Ohio St. made it 4-3 and 5-4; Jake Bischoff's PP goal was the only time the U. led all game. The much more notable feat, however, is that all of the Gophers' goals (not just Bischoff's) came on the Power Play. The six goals are a modern-era record; I don't know if a Minnesota club, or any club, has ever scored so many goals solely on the man advantage.
The NCAA Tournament begins in March. Since it's the month before, I think it's finally time to start looking at the PairWise and the projections. As of press time (I won't link to it because it's the page that refreshes with updates), the U. is settled in fifth, behind NCHC squads Minnesota-Duluth and Denver, Boston U., and Harvard. Using the advanced metric KARCH, which regards itself as more indicative of team strength, the Gophers are sixth, behind all of the above teams and Penn St.
Is this team that good -- good enough to fight for the Frozen Four in Chicago? They have a stern test this weekend -- at the Nittany Lions.
#-3: Timberwolves (Last Week: -6). Friend had a free ticket to Friday's match against The Bastard Charlotte Hornets. I don't really know this friend well, but after he volunteered this second ticket a second time on Facebook, I figured none of his other friends wanted it, so I swooped in and saw my first T-Wolves game featuring this bright new nucleus.
And so I saw close-up (great seats, by the way) how frustrating this team is. They got off to a huge lead in the Second Quarter, where at one point they were up by, like, 16 points. But a four-point lead at Halftime quickly turned into a deficit in The Dreaded Third Quarter. My friend and I got to talking a bit in the Second Half, though not as much in the First. I kind of noticed the Pelicans's comeback in the third; my friend suddenly looked up at one point and realized that the game was tied. After that, the fact that the Woofie Dogs simply couldn't make their shots was readily apparent, and by the time New Orleans stretched the lead to as many as 21 points in the Fourth, the club's fate was beyond sealed.
This was a game between two teams that were playing with records of 20-33. Both squads should be better than their records indicate. That dulled some of the shine of the storyline I looked forward to: The matchup between the two most-promising big men in the National Basketball Association, Karl-Anthony Towns vs. Anthony Davis. Both players brought it -- Towns poured in 36 and made all nine of his Free Throws, while Davis countered with 42 on 16-of-22 shooting ... and, of course, the win. But the shitty offense from the rest of the team, combined with the shitty defense from all of the team, remains a baffling mystery. How does a team this talented lose by 16 to a team equally underachieving, with two of their rotation players (Tyreke Evans and Quincy Pondexter) injured, at home?
The screening week was just as weird: They lost by two to medicore Miami, but fought off arguably The Second-Best Team In The Eastern Conference, Toronto, by three. They finish a six-game homestand (a homestand by both winter pro teams at the same time? That shouldn't happen. That depletes security resources) this week this afternoon versus Chicago at 2:30 (OK, I just realized that the Wild play in St. Paul starting at 2 ... two teams in the same area shouldn't be playing at the same time. I don't care if sports leagues don't coordinate, this shouldn't happen, because this is a serious depletion of security resources) and Defending World Champions Cleveland Tuesday.
They play in Denver the next day, come back to play Dallas at Target Friday, then head to Houston Saturday. Wait a second -- back-to-back ... back-to-backs, both of them home-road? And these aren't bus rides across the state line either; they have to go to Denver and then to Houston. Holy shit, this is a horribly unfair part of the schedule!!! Who the fuck made this?!?!?!
#-4: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -5). Got crushed at Penn St., 77-66, then immolated Rutgers at Williams, 80-46. (Is this a C. Vivian Stringer-coached Rutgers team?) (Shrug) This week: The make-up game at home Monday vs. Northwestern, which was postponed from Jan. 11 because of the suicide of Wildcats Guard Jordan Hankins. They also visit Michigan St. Thursday.
#-5: Gopher wrestling (Last Week: -4). I don't remember when Brandon Eggum was named Head Coach. But I assume that being named HC means you don't get embarrassed by rival Iowa at home 27-11. I know that the program has a very strong following. But if that following is small, even cult-ish, and if that team isn't even winning ... well, what's it worth?
I found it weird that a Big Ten opponent hasn't played at the Sports Pavilion in half a decade. But such as it is for Ohio St., who travel here to play these Goofers for a dual today.
Saturday, February 11, 2017
It's Time To Get A New Laptop
I think I have harped on this before, but after just more than nine years of my Toshiba Satellite, it's time for me to get a new one. The processor is shot, and even though I had dreams once to DIY it, I am too lazy to find, buy and replace it with a new one.
Then there's the problem with the Operating System (OS). I had the tremendously bad luck to buy a computer whose latest Windows OS was Vista. It has been maligned since its birth, and probably unfairly so, but there's been enough ridicule heaped on Vista that whenever I had issues with my laptop, early or late in its life, I felt it was OK to blame it on the OS. It's kind of like the Hillary Clinton of Operating Systems.
I still dealt with it because it works for me, but other creeping old age problems with the Toshiba has made me think I need an upgrade. Microsoft support for Chrome is or has ended, so I don't get the latest bells and whistles with the current Internet browser, whatever those enhancements are. And some time late last year, Microsoft told me (through the opening screen on my laptop) that it will stop supporting Microsoft Security. That has forced me to go to Comodo, a free anti-virus software that I downloaded a long time ago, but which I had to deactivate because it was causing too much trouble with Microsoft's installed anti-bug software.
Now that Security is done (or soon will be), I have had to rely on Comodo. And it appears to be fine in general, but it seems to wreak havoc on my lap. Foremost among my issues is that, when it is up, I can't get on any wi-fi network. So, what I have to do (which I had to do when I downloaded Comodo and used it the first time, several years ago) is deactivate Comodo, reset my connection to the wi-fi network and, assuming it did finally reestablish connection (sometimes it didn't, at which point I would either leave the house or shut the computer down and say screw it), bring Comodo back up. It's OK to deal with, but along with the freezing and slow processing my laptop suffers once I do get going with surfing online, it has become a tremendous pain in the ass.
So, I have finally noticed something over the past few months that I did subconsciously: I am spending less and less time on my lap. It's why I stay over at work -- the computer and the Intranet there is reliable and (for the most part) fast. It's why I'm typing this on the library now -- the computer and Intranet here is reliable and fast. I used to dive into my computer after dinner or taking my shower. Now, I scroll through my phone and/or take a nap. It's gotten to the point where I avoid the laptop I've had for nine-plus years. Avoid. Something I've relied on for years -- for work, for writing, for porn -- I now treat as if it's poison. Well, it kind of is, but I don't feel great for shunning it like this.
I will say this: After I made the fateful decision to buy a new battery to replace the original one which no longer held any energy, which was about four or five years ago, it hasn't been the same since. And I don't know if I've written about this before, but I looked in my past blog posts and I don't see it, so I'll just say it now: I got ripped off when I bought this new battery. From the very first time I installed the battery and turned it on, after which I got The Black Screen Of Death, the computer wasn't half the machine it was. I'm not sure if the slow processing speed and the freezing is a direct consequence of the old battery; it's probably coincidental. But like I said, it was a used-up machine as soon as I bought that defective battery.
I'll buy a new laptop after I absorb the financial blow of taking a trip to Hong Kong to see Grandmother.
Then there's the problem with the Operating System (OS). I had the tremendously bad luck to buy a computer whose latest Windows OS was Vista. It has been maligned since its birth, and probably unfairly so, but there's been enough ridicule heaped on Vista that whenever I had issues with my laptop, early or late in its life, I felt it was OK to blame it on the OS. It's kind of like the Hillary Clinton of Operating Systems.
I still dealt with it because it works for me, but other creeping old age problems with the Toshiba has made me think I need an upgrade. Microsoft support for Chrome is or has ended, so I don't get the latest bells and whistles with the current Internet browser, whatever those enhancements are. And some time late last year, Microsoft told me (through the opening screen on my laptop) that it will stop supporting Microsoft Security. That has forced me to go to Comodo, a free anti-virus software that I downloaded a long time ago, but which I had to deactivate because it was causing too much trouble with Microsoft's installed anti-bug software.
Now that Security is done (or soon will be), I have had to rely on Comodo. And it appears to be fine in general, but it seems to wreak havoc on my lap. Foremost among my issues is that, when it is up, I can't get on any wi-fi network. So, what I have to do (which I had to do when I downloaded Comodo and used it the first time, several years ago) is deactivate Comodo, reset my connection to the wi-fi network and, assuming it did finally reestablish connection (sometimes it didn't, at which point I would either leave the house or shut the computer down and say screw it), bring Comodo back up. It's OK to deal with, but along with the freezing and slow processing my laptop suffers once I do get going with surfing online, it has become a tremendous pain in the ass.
So, I have finally noticed something over the past few months that I did subconsciously: I am spending less and less time on my lap. It's why I stay over at work -- the computer and the Intranet there is reliable and (for the most part) fast. It's why I'm typing this on the library now -- the computer and Intranet here is reliable and fast. I used to dive into my computer after dinner or taking my shower. Now, I scroll through my phone and/or take a nap. It's gotten to the point where I avoid the laptop I've had for nine-plus years. Avoid. Something I've relied on for years -- for work, for writing, for porn -- I now treat as if it's poison. Well, it kind of is, but I don't feel great for shunning it like this.
I will say this: After I made the fateful decision to buy a new battery to replace the original one which no longer held any energy, which was about four or five years ago, it hasn't been the same since. And I don't know if I've written about this before, but I looked in my past blog posts and I don't see it, so I'll just say it now: I got ripped off when I bought this new battery. From the very first time I installed the battery and turned it on, after which I got The Black Screen Of Death, the computer wasn't half the machine it was. I'm not sure if the slow processing speed and the freezing is a direct consequence of the old battery; it's probably coincidental. But like I said, it was a used-up machine as soon as I bought that defective battery.
I'll buy a new laptop after I absorb the financial blow of taking a trip to Hong Kong to see Grandmother.
Friday, February 10, 2017
Yeah, I Think It's Time To Change My Wi-Fi Service
After a surprisingly long stretch of reliable wi-fi, I've run into trouble with it the past couple nights -- timing out, slow loads, "Internet not connected," shit like that. It's really frustrating to go online with a ten-year-old computer with a bad processor; the last thing I need is the connection to be faulty as well. But here we are.
Mother last night said that it's been totally bad all day Thursday, and in the past both of my parents have complained about spotty wi-fi. I haven't been in the house all day so I can't vouch for that contention with my own experience. Plus, my parents bitch about the Internet a lot, so much so that I have tuned that out. But with this latest annoyance, it's becoming more and more apparent that something has to change.
I had been resistant to switching Internet providers. Right now we have it through our phone company, and although I wouldn't consider it to have been 100% reliable, I have thought it enough for all my needs, so much so that I signed up for a five-year price lock-in. I did that when it was decided that I needed to "grow up" and take care of more of the house. Responsibility to Internet access fell to me; I decided that we were going through the phone company instead of some faster but much more expensive access through, say Comcast, and since I was the one paying, I get to decide.
That was fine for my parents at first. But Father has gotten increasingly irritated over its slowness and dropping. Lately he's gotten to switching modems, and that has fucked me up because the modems have different passwords, and the old modem he switched to has a password I can't recall. Luckily for me, all the devices I use have saved the old passwords, but I don't know about my folks. Meanwhile, Mother has decided she wants to spend the rest of her life looking at Chinese videos off of the Internet and from the gifts my brother gives her, including Apple TV a couple years ago. With the advent of new technology comes, at least in my mind, a need for faster Internet, and right now what Mother demands from her devices the phone company simply can't provide.
When they've complained in the past, I've brushed it off. Like I said, I'm paying for it, I decide what we'll have. However, they have complained once too often. I am giving up. Plus, it's gotten incredibly frustrating for me too, even if the last time I complained about it on WAF was 18 months ago. It indeed might be time for us to upgrade to faster speeds, even at the cost of, uh, higher cost. Finally, this five-year lock-in expires this year -- around Independence Day, in fact. I should keep track that at some point in the late spring I need to know the process by which I end Internet service. Hopefully by then I'll figure out a speed for ... well, probably Comcast at which I can afford to buy, and then I'll try and coordinate a time where I can go off of one provider and jump onto another without missing a beat. And then I hope Comcast will give us fast Internet without any drops, and then I'll hope to Buddha that their customer service won't be so legendarily terrible.
But that's in the summer. Right now I pray that I can publish this without any trouble.
Mother last night said that it's been totally bad all day Thursday, and in the past both of my parents have complained about spotty wi-fi. I haven't been in the house all day so I can't vouch for that contention with my own experience. Plus, my parents bitch about the Internet a lot, so much so that I have tuned that out. But with this latest annoyance, it's becoming more and more apparent that something has to change.
I had been resistant to switching Internet providers. Right now we have it through our phone company, and although I wouldn't consider it to have been 100% reliable, I have thought it enough for all my needs, so much so that I signed up for a five-year price lock-in. I did that when it was decided that I needed to "grow up" and take care of more of the house. Responsibility to Internet access fell to me; I decided that we were going through the phone company instead of some faster but much more expensive access through, say Comcast, and since I was the one paying, I get to decide.
That was fine for my parents at first. But Father has gotten increasingly irritated over its slowness and dropping. Lately he's gotten to switching modems, and that has fucked me up because the modems have different passwords, and the old modem he switched to has a password I can't recall. Luckily for me, all the devices I use have saved the old passwords, but I don't know about my folks. Meanwhile, Mother has decided she wants to spend the rest of her life looking at Chinese videos off of the Internet and from the gifts my brother gives her, including Apple TV a couple years ago. With the advent of new technology comes, at least in my mind, a need for faster Internet, and right now what Mother demands from her devices the phone company simply can't provide.
When they've complained in the past, I've brushed it off. Like I said, I'm paying for it, I decide what we'll have. However, they have complained once too often. I am giving up. Plus, it's gotten incredibly frustrating for me too, even if the last time I complained about it on WAF was 18 months ago. It indeed might be time for us to upgrade to faster speeds, even at the cost of, uh, higher cost. Finally, this five-year lock-in expires this year -- around Independence Day, in fact. I should keep track that at some point in the late spring I need to know the process by which I end Internet service. Hopefully by then I'll figure out a speed for ... well, probably Comcast at which I can afford to buy, and then I'll try and coordinate a time where I can go off of one provider and jump onto another without missing a beat. And then I hope Comcast will give us fast Internet without any drops, and then I'll hope to Buddha that their customer service won't be so legendarily terrible.
But that's in the summer. Right now I pray that I can publish this without any trouble.
Thursday, February 9, 2017
Just to let all of you know, for the past few weeks I have felt scattershot pains in my gut. Usually happening after I eat, I just feel a ... twinge in my stomach and/or sides. I've never felt that before, and even though I don't think it's anything, if I do get to see the doctor soon, I should bring that up. Well, that as well as my funky elbow.
Wednesday, February 8, 2017
It Was A Mistake To Eat At Taco Bell Just Before Going To Bed
Thought about it long and hard while having fun at My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Division), but I caved and went to TB to try their new chicken shell taco (I know that's not what it's called, but whatever). Not bad, although it's hard to adjust to touching a shell that is hot. And made out of chicken.
That was a bit after 10. Fell asleep, oh, 11:15. I woke up once before waking up for good around 5:30. And I woke up because I threw up a little in my mouth. Not vomit, I don't think, but the hydrochloric acid my body was creating in order to digest the fast food I ate just before sleeping.
I throw up a little in my mouth a lot these days. Yeah, guess I should watch what I eat. And now I think I need to watch when I eat, because what happened this morning scared the beejeezus out of me. Man, is this acid indigestion/GERD something that gets worse with age?
That was a bit after 10. Fell asleep, oh, 11:15. I woke up once before waking up for good around 5:30. And I woke up because I threw up a little in my mouth. Not vomit, I don't think, but the hydrochloric acid my body was creating in order to digest the fast food I ate just before sleeping.
I throw up a little in my mouth a lot these days. Yeah, guess I should watch what I eat. And now I think I need to watch when I eat, because what happened this morning scared the beejeezus out of me. Man, is this acid indigestion/GERD something that gets worse with age?
Tuesday, February 7, 2017
The Impending Ice Storm
The last goddamn thing I need (well, I never really need it) is to drive to work in the middle of what is brewing to be a very bad ice storm. I could be slipping and sliding and running into other cars. I could be taking the side streets to work for 110 minutes again. I could miss seeing La La Land in the afternoon like I planned.
My parents need to go out also. All the way across town so Father could get all his teeth removed. I hope they're going to be OK too.
My parents need to go out also. All the way across town so Father could get all his teeth removed. I hope they're going to be OK too.
Monday, February 6, 2017
Addendum To: Super Bowl LI Breakdown, Prediction, Anti-Pick
Wow ... some game, huh?
Is it The Greatest Super Bowl Ever? Yeah, you could say that.
I still have no idea how New England came back from 28-3 down late in the third quarter to tie the game in Overtime and then win it in the extra frame. So, without the benefit of sabermetrics, I can only say that, well, Atlanta just choked.
I'm still shocked that last night's 34-28 OT win is the largest margin of victory the Patriots have in their five Super Bowl wins. The other four, in chronological order, are 3, 3, 3 and 4. With the Pats being so good ever since the turn of the millennium, there is an image of the franchise as being dominant. That's sort of misleading. Now, the Patriots frequently race out to a big lead and take the hearts out of their opponents during the regular season and postseason. But when it comes to Super Bowls, they just grind out victories (although comebacks, let alone something as unheard-of as Super Bowl LI, is something uncharacteristic of New England). It may not be pretty, but finding a way to win five times in seven trips to the title game is the kind of security I will always want in my sports teams.
As for my predictions, well, they're all over the map. Friends of mine are crediting me with predicting that SBLI would be the first-ever championship game to go to Overtime, and I'll take that. I also thought that the Pats would win on a Touchdown; I got the six-point margin of victory right, but I gave both teams 14 more points. I also thought that the winning score would be a Tom Brady pass into the end zone, and even though Brady did lead the team in the Fourth Quarter and OT, he handed the ball off to James White to penetrate the end zone and end the game, so I wasn't technically right about that, either.
As for the other predictions that I made in my last blog post:
1) Yeah, I don't know what I was thinking predicting that there wouldn't be a sack in this game. Both teams registered five.
2) Brady threw for 466 yards. Ryan was close -- 284. Nuts that the Falcons were coasting and Ryan didn't even reach 300. Also, he finished with Quarterback Rating of 144.1 -- and lost.
But I nailed my Anti-Pick of Over 58, even though I had to wait a long while of feeling as if I blew that choice. Understand where I was at after New England managed to tie up the game late in regulation. Super Bowl LI had 56 points in a tie game. Unless someone scored a Safety, the next score, be it at the very end of the fourth or in OT, would push the total over 58 and would give me the hypothetical victory. I didn't have to worry about the fate of my bet because I knew I was going to win regardless of which team scored. So I all had to do was sit back and sit pretty and watch what went from an absolute bore to one hell of a game. Well, I didn't really have to worry about it at all because the Anti-Pick is fake. But I would have made a lot of money off of my life savings!
Is it The Greatest Super Bowl Ever? Yeah, you could say that.
I still have no idea how New England came back from 28-3 down late in the third quarter to tie the game in Overtime and then win it in the extra frame. So, without the benefit of sabermetrics, I can only say that, well, Atlanta just choked.
I'm still shocked that last night's 34-28 OT win is the largest margin of victory the Patriots have in their five Super Bowl wins. The other four, in chronological order, are 3, 3, 3 and 4. With the Pats being so good ever since the turn of the millennium, there is an image of the franchise as being dominant. That's sort of misleading. Now, the Patriots frequently race out to a big lead and take the hearts out of their opponents during the regular season and postseason. But when it comes to Super Bowls, they just grind out victories (although comebacks, let alone something as unheard-of as Super Bowl LI, is something uncharacteristic of New England). It may not be pretty, but finding a way to win five times in seven trips to the title game is the kind of security I will always want in my sports teams.
As for my predictions, well, they're all over the map. Friends of mine are crediting me with predicting that SBLI would be the first-ever championship game to go to Overtime, and I'll take that. I also thought that the Pats would win on a Touchdown; I got the six-point margin of victory right, but I gave both teams 14 more points. I also thought that the winning score would be a Tom Brady pass into the end zone, and even though Brady did lead the team in the Fourth Quarter and OT, he handed the ball off to James White to penetrate the end zone and end the game, so I wasn't technically right about that, either.
As for the other predictions that I made in my last blog post:
1) Yeah, I don't know what I was thinking predicting that there wouldn't be a sack in this game. Both teams registered five.
2) Brady threw for 466 yards. Ryan was close -- 284. Nuts that the Falcons were coasting and Ryan didn't even reach 300. Also, he finished with Quarterback Rating of 144.1 -- and lost.
But I nailed my Anti-Pick of Over 58, even though I had to wait a long while of feeling as if I blew that choice. Understand where I was at after New England managed to tie up the game late in regulation. Super Bowl LI had 56 points in a tie game. Unless someone scored a Safety, the next score, be it at the very end of the fourth or in OT, would push the total over 58 and would give me the hypothetical victory. I didn't have to worry about the fate of my bet because I knew I was going to win regardless of which team scored. So I all had to do was sit back and sit pretty and watch what went from an absolute bore to one hell of a game. Well, I didn't really have to worry about it at all because the Anti-Pick is fake. But I would have made a lot of money off of my life savings!
Sunday, February 5, 2017
Super Bowl LI Breakdown, Prediction, Anti-Pick
I have never had as much trouble analyzing a Super Bowl as I am with SBLI. Both teams are so good. Moreover, as good as both defenses have been, especially lately, both offenses have been better, maybe unprecedentedly excellent.
My breakdown, and the point where I get stuck, is in the trenches, particularly both offensive lines. They have been so good that I can't figure out how either defense is going to stop both teams from scoring. I just don't. So if neither D can stop either O, what is there to break down?
Let me also say this: As much as I can see both offenses play up to their proficient potentials tomorrow, I can also foresee, if one facet of one's offense does not work as well as it needs to, either because the opposing defense manages to defend against that facet well or if there's an injury to a key player, I can see this Super Bowl turning into a rout. I can see both offenses working like machines. I will almost guarantee that one offense will work like a machine. And if that happens, one offense will continue to churn while the weakness in the other offense will increasingly hamper that O's system. That means that one offense will score and the other won't. Hence -- rout. It feels as though both organizations embrace advanced analytics, and both offenses are the end results of their commitment to future stats. So efficiency should be seen as a given, and that if one offense doesn't do its job, that team will fall quickly behind, never able to recover during the game. Does that make sense?
Because of my inveighing over the offensive lines, I am having a hard time tossing off number of yards and other specific happenings I think will come from certain players. I can only say for certain that both offenses will rack up yards and points, and both defenses will suck. Hard to give you numbers when you're stuck on that.
---
I wrote the above yesterday. It's Sunday noontime, and I still am stuck at that. So I will bloviate on about one facet that will affect Super Bowl LI and one surrounding it.
The facet affecting SBLI are the refs. Big variables such as turnovers and injuries are impossible to forecast (although I hear Falcons Center Alex Mack will be playing with a bad fibula -- how big of a problem is this going to be??), and you have to include the officiating crew. In case you don't know, some of the best in each of the seven positions get the honor of calling the Super Bowl. It does not go by crew. So even though it seems disjointed (and I kind of think it is), Super Bowls won't be called by people who have worked with each other over the course of a season. It may or may not matter.
What does matter more, of course, is how tightly or loosely a crew (or a judge) calls a game. In particular, ESPN's Kevin Seifert focuses on the Side, Back and Field Judges that will be in Houston tonight and has found that they have called much fewer pass interference calls against the average. Seifert thus believes that both defensive secondaries will be allowed a lot more leeway to grasp and hold, and that may favor the Patriots, who have been known to play tightly and is thought to need to do that in order to prevent the big plays that have powered the Falcons through the postseason.
The facet surrounding Super Bowl LI is a fascinating one. Have you noticed how politicized the outcome of this game has become? With Trump being installed president, everything in our lives is being seen through that prism. I don't mind it. But I'm surprised at how many non-sports fans are turning this into a battle between good and evil. Which it is.
People have noted that New England Owner Robert Kraft, Head Coach Bill Belichick, and Quarterback Tom Brady have supported Trump, or at least have dropped signs that they support him. I'm not completely buying that Belichick and Brady do. Those signs might be just them doing what Kraft wants them to do, and I am certain Kraft is a Trump fan.
However, maybe due to facts on their own or by comparison in relief, that has made Atlanta the "Democratic" team. I have no idea if Falcons Owner Arthur Blank is a Democrat. Him being the CEO of Home Depot, and thus a rich man, makes me think he's definitely not. But I read this story in the New York Times where the construction of Mercedes-Benz Stadium, replacing the (still usable, I think) Georgia Dome next door is part of a major redevelopment project for the impoverished neighborhoods just to the west of it. It has a lot of critics. But I am willing to not cast this as White Savior Philanthropy and think this is a genuine effort by a man who cares about the area he is working in. Besides, I don't see Kraft doing this.
Combine that with all the pro-Trump stuff New England is doing and you can see where people's political allies would say they want to win tonight. Bill Maher, no way a fan of sports, wants the Falcons to win. On Saturday Night Live last night, Michael Che said that he's rooting for Atlanta because he wants to "watch the blackest city in America beat the most racist city I've ever been to." You know what? He's not wrong.
---
And yet ... and yet ... when I inject my personal feelings, I am still torn. I respect what New England is doing. But I ain't no Republican. Plus, dynasties are bad -- in football and in anything else. And yet I don't want to root for Atlanta because of ... well, this.
So, who to choose, and what to bet if I were in Vegas? Knowing that a big play such as a PI call, a turnover or an injury will have an outsized effect on this game and can potentially derail one team's success, and that I can't predict that at all, I will predict the following things:
1) Both lines will be so good that there won't be a sack in this game.
2) Both Tom Brady and Matt Ryan will throw for at least 300 yards.
3) For the first time in Super Bowl history, the game will go to Overtime.
4) The Patriots will win the coin toss, and Brady will march the Pats down the field to the promised land to win the game.
Prediction: In Overtime, Patriots 48, Falcons 42. I'm not certain of the score. But I feel very sure about the prodigious scoring. So, for my Anti-Pick:
1) Patriots-Falcons Over 58 (There's always a chance that this game can turn into a slog. But I have to think that the high-flying scoring we've seen throughout this postseason will carry over to SBLI. I would be shocked if Brady and Ryan consistently are off on their passes, or if they can't make at least half of their third-down conversions) Uh, your life savings
Good luck!
My breakdown, and the point where I get stuck, is in the trenches, particularly both offensive lines. They have been so good that I can't figure out how either defense is going to stop both teams from scoring. I just don't. So if neither D can stop either O, what is there to break down?
Let me also say this: As much as I can see both offenses play up to their proficient potentials tomorrow, I can also foresee, if one facet of one's offense does not work as well as it needs to, either because the opposing defense manages to defend against that facet well or if there's an injury to a key player, I can see this Super Bowl turning into a rout. I can see both offenses working like machines. I will almost guarantee that one offense will work like a machine. And if that happens, one offense will continue to churn while the weakness in the other offense will increasingly hamper that O's system. That means that one offense will score and the other won't. Hence -- rout. It feels as though both organizations embrace advanced analytics, and both offenses are the end results of their commitment to future stats. So efficiency should be seen as a given, and that if one offense doesn't do its job, that team will fall quickly behind, never able to recover during the game. Does that make sense?
Because of my inveighing over the offensive lines, I am having a hard time tossing off number of yards and other specific happenings I think will come from certain players. I can only say for certain that both offenses will rack up yards and points, and both defenses will suck. Hard to give you numbers when you're stuck on that.
---
I wrote the above yesterday. It's Sunday noontime, and I still am stuck at that. So I will bloviate on about one facet that will affect Super Bowl LI and one surrounding it.
The facet affecting SBLI are the refs. Big variables such as turnovers and injuries are impossible to forecast (although I hear Falcons Center Alex Mack will be playing with a bad fibula -- how big of a problem is this going to be??), and you have to include the officiating crew. In case you don't know, some of the best in each of the seven positions get the honor of calling the Super Bowl. It does not go by crew. So even though it seems disjointed (and I kind of think it is), Super Bowls won't be called by people who have worked with each other over the course of a season. It may or may not matter.
What does matter more, of course, is how tightly or loosely a crew (or a judge) calls a game. In particular, ESPN's Kevin Seifert focuses on the Side, Back and Field Judges that will be in Houston tonight and has found that they have called much fewer pass interference calls against the average. Seifert thus believes that both defensive secondaries will be allowed a lot more leeway to grasp and hold, and that may favor the Patriots, who have been known to play tightly and is thought to need to do that in order to prevent the big plays that have powered the Falcons through the postseason.
The facet surrounding Super Bowl LI is a fascinating one. Have you noticed how politicized the outcome of this game has become? With Trump being installed president, everything in our lives is being seen through that prism. I don't mind it. But I'm surprised at how many non-sports fans are turning this into a battle between good and evil. Which it is.
People have noted that New England Owner Robert Kraft, Head Coach Bill Belichick, and Quarterback Tom Brady have supported Trump, or at least have dropped signs that they support him. I'm not completely buying that Belichick and Brady do. Those signs might be just them doing what Kraft wants them to do, and I am certain Kraft is a Trump fan.
However, maybe due to facts on their own or by comparison in relief, that has made Atlanta the "Democratic" team. I have no idea if Falcons Owner Arthur Blank is a Democrat. Him being the CEO of Home Depot, and thus a rich man, makes me think he's definitely not. But I read this story in the New York Times where the construction of Mercedes-Benz Stadium, replacing the (still usable, I think) Georgia Dome next door is part of a major redevelopment project for the impoverished neighborhoods just to the west of it. It has a lot of critics. But I am willing to not cast this as White Savior Philanthropy and think this is a genuine effort by a man who cares about the area he is working in. Besides, I don't see Kraft doing this.
Combine that with all the pro-Trump stuff New England is doing and you can see where people's political allies would say they want to win tonight. Bill Maher, no way a fan of sports, wants the Falcons to win. On Saturday Night Live last night, Michael Che said that he's rooting for Atlanta because he wants to "watch the blackest city in America beat the most racist city I've ever been to." You know what? He's not wrong.
---
And yet ... and yet ... when I inject my personal feelings, I am still torn. I respect what New England is doing. But I ain't no Republican. Plus, dynasties are bad -- in football and in anything else. And yet I don't want to root for Atlanta because of ... well, this.
So, who to choose, and what to bet if I were in Vegas? Knowing that a big play such as a PI call, a turnover or an injury will have an outsized effect on this game and can potentially derail one team's success, and that I can't predict that at all, I will predict the following things:
1) Both lines will be so good that there won't be a sack in this game.
2) Both Tom Brady and Matt Ryan will throw for at least 300 yards.
3) For the first time in Super Bowl history, the game will go to Overtime.
4) The Patriots will win the coin toss, and Brady will march the Pats down the field to the promised land to win the game.
Prediction: In Overtime, Patriots 48, Falcons 42. I'm not certain of the score. But I feel very sure about the prodigious scoring. So, for my Anti-Pick:
1) Patriots-Falcons Over 58 (There's always a chance that this game can turn into a slog. But I have to think that the high-flying scoring we've seen throughout this postseason will carry over to SBLI. I would be shocked if Brady and Ryan consistently are off on their passes, or if they can't make at least half of their third-down conversions) Uh, your life savings
Good luck!
The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey
#-1: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -2). This could be seen as a pivotal weekend for this team, provided it capitalizes on this current momentum and, you know, gets far in the NCAA Tournament. Hosting a pair against suddenly juggernauty Penn St. (which, in its third season of being a full-fledged top-flight men's hockey program, was ranked #1 for the first time ever earlier this year), a team that was above them in the PairWise if not the Big Ten standings, they crushed the Nittany Lions by scores of 5-1 and 5-2. I heard that because of Friday's loss alone, Penn St. slipped behind Minnesota in the standings. And in the B1G standings, they are behind both the Gophers and Wisconsin, which are tied at the top. (For the record, Wisconsin sits 15th in the PairWise as of press time.) Now that is one hell of a return on investment.
The U. sits 4th in the PairWise and seems poised to move up from 7th in the USCHO next week, passing the Nittany Lions in the process. This will not quiet the Don Lucia haters, but he is doing all he can to remind fans that Minnesota is one of the preeminent programs in men's hockey. They visit Ohio St. for two next week.
#-2: Wild (Last Week: Positive Numbers). For the first time in, like, a dozen games on the road, they fail to collect even one loser point in Wednesday's 5-1 ass-kicking in Calgary. That's the only reason they don't sit atop the survey this week. But they soundly beat Edmonton, which finally appears to be going back to the Stanley Cup Playoffs, 5-2, and just (as of press time) doubled up the Canucks in Vancouver, 6-3, so this is still a pretty damn good team.
It's time to talk about a few players on the club. The first two were in the news this screening week. First, Goaltender Alex Stalock reached an agreement with the Wild. That contract automatically protect first-stringer Devyn Dubnyk from the Vegas Golden Knights in the Expansion Draft (I don't know how they figured that out). This move also means that it'll be Stalock that becomes the squad's backup Goalie and not Darcy Kuemper, who appears to be guaranteed not to be protected by the club.
Second, the franchise's first-round pick in the 2014 NHL Draft, Alex Tuch, was finally called up for the Saturday night game vs. Vancouver. The move was seen mainly as a final tryout period to see if Tuch is good enough to keep away from the Golden Knights in the off-season. But the call-up from AAA Iowa coincides with Charlie Coyle going to Bruce Boudreau's doghouse for sucking as of late. A quick look at the Player Summary shows that Tuch was given one fewer shift than Coyle, but he had 1:28 more ice time than he, even though all of Tuch's time was spent 5v5. I don't know if this portends bad things down the road, but it might be worth watching.
Finally, the biggest name might be the one who made news a few weeks ago. I regret that I have yet to mention that Jonas Brodin broke his finger mid-January, and he was thought to be out for a month. That means he'll be good to go in the next two weeks, but I wonder what his absence exposed on the squad's blueline, and I also wonder what his presence back on the ice will do for chemistry.
They finish up a four-game Canada trip Tuesday against Winnipeg, then come home for Wednesday Night Rivalry against Chicago. That match starts an eight-game, three-week homestand, which will continue Friday against Tampa Bay.
#-3: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -4). This squad ended a losing streak at five and stanched the bleeding on their Big Dance hopes with an important 68-59 victory on the road against another program that's taking on water, Illinois. The conference record is still mediocre, 4-6, and they're certainly not out of the woods yet. But losing to a middling Illini team would poke even more holes into a group that seemed to have turned things around earlier in the year. Now to see if they can regain momentum this screening with contests at home to Iowa and at Rutgers.
#-4: Gopher wrestling (Last Week: -1). With the way this club got crushed versus Penn St., Oklahoma St. and Nebraska, I am shocked that the U. is ranked 10th in both Tournament and Dual Meet, according to InterMat. Sure, results like Sunday's 29-12 trouncing of Purdue in West Lafayette means they are pretty good. I just don't know if this team really is good enough to be 10th, you know?
Hey, you know what? They could assuage my beliefs that this program is on the downswing by upsetting another great program that hasn't skipped a beat, Iowa, at the Sports Pavilion early Sunday afternoon.
#-5: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -3). Got embarrassed at home by 19 against Michigan St. Monday in the annual Cancer Game, then pulled away from Nebraska in Lincoln Saturday, although their ten-point win happened in overtime. I don't know what else to say. This week: at Penn St., home to Rutgers.
#-6: Timberwolves (Last Week: 0). A 1-3 screening week -- their only win was at home to Orlando, and even then they had to go to Overtime to secure the game -- and that isn't even the worst of it. On Saturday it was discovered that Shooting Guard Zach LaVine has a torn ACL and is done for the year.
At first glance this feels like a death blow for the Timberpuppies' chances to finally reach the NBA Playoffs. Between he, Karl-Anthony Towns and Andrew Wiggins, it was widely thought that it is LaVine that has grown leaps and bounds to reach his potential this season, even if that potential is seen to be much lower compared to KAT and Wiggy. On the other hand, I have seen several advanced metric scenarios where it has been shown that the team has played better without LaVine. He has been out lately, and that coincided with a recent upswing in the Wolves' fortunes. Would that in fact continue now that the team knows he's gone for the rest of the season?
Even though the T-Wolves remain below .500, they also remain in the hunt for the last playoff spot in the Western Conference. The loss to The Bastard Vancouver Grizzlies began a ten-day, six-game homestand; this week they will host Miami, Toronto and New Orleans.
The U. sits 4th in the PairWise and seems poised to move up from 7th in the USCHO next week, passing the Nittany Lions in the process. This will not quiet the Don Lucia haters, but he is doing all he can to remind fans that Minnesota is one of the preeminent programs in men's hockey. They visit Ohio St. for two next week.
#-2: Wild (Last Week: Positive Numbers). For the first time in, like, a dozen games on the road, they fail to collect even one loser point in Wednesday's 5-1 ass-kicking in Calgary. That's the only reason they don't sit atop the survey this week. But they soundly beat Edmonton, which finally appears to be going back to the Stanley Cup Playoffs, 5-2, and just (as of press time) doubled up the Canucks in Vancouver, 6-3, so this is still a pretty damn good team.
It's time to talk about a few players on the club. The first two were in the news this screening week. First, Goaltender Alex Stalock reached an agreement with the Wild. That contract automatically protect first-stringer Devyn Dubnyk from the Vegas Golden Knights in the Expansion Draft (I don't know how they figured that out). This move also means that it'll be Stalock that becomes the squad's backup Goalie and not Darcy Kuemper, who appears to be guaranteed not to be protected by the club.
Second, the franchise's first-round pick in the 2014 NHL Draft, Alex Tuch, was finally called up for the Saturday night game vs. Vancouver. The move was seen mainly as a final tryout period to see if Tuch is good enough to keep away from the Golden Knights in the off-season. But the call-up from AAA Iowa coincides with Charlie Coyle going to Bruce Boudreau's doghouse for sucking as of late. A quick look at the Player Summary shows that Tuch was given one fewer shift than Coyle, but he had 1:28 more ice time than he, even though all of Tuch's time was spent 5v5. I don't know if this portends bad things down the road, but it might be worth watching.
Finally, the biggest name might be the one who made news a few weeks ago. I regret that I have yet to mention that Jonas Brodin broke his finger mid-January, and he was thought to be out for a month. That means he'll be good to go in the next two weeks, but I wonder what his absence exposed on the squad's blueline, and I also wonder what his presence back on the ice will do for chemistry.
They finish up a four-game Canada trip Tuesday against Winnipeg, then come home for Wednesday Night Rivalry against Chicago. That match starts an eight-game, three-week homestand, which will continue Friday against Tampa Bay.
#-3: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -4). This squad ended a losing streak at five and stanched the bleeding on their Big Dance hopes with an important 68-59 victory on the road against another program that's taking on water, Illinois. The conference record is still mediocre, 4-6, and they're certainly not out of the woods yet. But losing to a middling Illini team would poke even more holes into a group that seemed to have turned things around earlier in the year. Now to see if they can regain momentum this screening with contests at home to Iowa and at Rutgers.
#-4: Gopher wrestling (Last Week: -1). With the way this club got crushed versus Penn St., Oklahoma St. and Nebraska, I am shocked that the U. is ranked 10th in both Tournament and Dual Meet, according to InterMat. Sure, results like Sunday's 29-12 trouncing of Purdue in West Lafayette means they are pretty good. I just don't know if this team really is good enough to be 10th, you know?
Hey, you know what? They could assuage my beliefs that this program is on the downswing by upsetting another great program that hasn't skipped a beat, Iowa, at the Sports Pavilion early Sunday afternoon.
#-5: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -3). Got embarrassed at home by 19 against Michigan St. Monday in the annual Cancer Game, then pulled away from Nebraska in Lincoln Saturday, although their ten-point win happened in overtime. I don't know what else to say. This week: at Penn St., home to Rutgers.
#-6: Timberwolves (Last Week: 0). A 1-3 screening week -- their only win was at home to Orlando, and even then they had to go to Overtime to secure the game -- and that isn't even the worst of it. On Saturday it was discovered that Shooting Guard Zach LaVine has a torn ACL and is done for the year.
At first glance this feels like a death blow for the Timberpuppies' chances to finally reach the NBA Playoffs. Between he, Karl-Anthony Towns and Andrew Wiggins, it was widely thought that it is LaVine that has grown leaps and bounds to reach his potential this season, even if that potential is seen to be much lower compared to KAT and Wiggy. On the other hand, I have seen several advanced metric scenarios where it has been shown that the team has played better without LaVine. He has been out lately, and that coincided with a recent upswing in the Wolves' fortunes. Would that in fact continue now that the team knows he's gone for the rest of the season?
Even though the T-Wolves remain below .500, they also remain in the hunt for the last playoff spot in the Western Conference. The loss to The Bastard Vancouver Grizzlies began a ten-day, six-game homestand; this week they will host Miami, Toronto and New Orleans.
Saturday, February 4, 2017
Oh, Fuck You, United
Just on a whim I decided to look up my miles on Delta and United. Delta was fine. United was not. I had about 42,000 miles on it, and I my heart sank when it told me I had a balance of zero.
United demands that there be activity on an account within 18 months or else the airline will take them all away. Flying on them works, obviously. So does donating them, or at least I think. That's why I spent some time, a couple times a year at most, going to United and donating, oh, 500 miles to keep my account active.
I swear I did that at some point in the last year-and-a-half. I swear. On my days of unemployment I went to Caribou in the mornings and I did just that -- at least once in 2016, and probably twice even though I didn't have to.
The problem is is that I have no track record of it. I was never given a receipt of the 500 miles I know I gave last year. I have never received a receipt. The last noted transaction United said I had, donating 500 miles to some charity in June 2015, I also never got a receipt for. I didn't think much of it because I assumed that they got the record of me donating 500 miles.
And there's another problem. I signed up for United's regular newsletter, and -- now that I am in a panic that all my 42,000 miles are now gone -- I see, in fairly large type, the exact number of miles I have, and the expiration date United gave me. I just perused the monthly newsletters going back to July 2015 (obviously with a lot more attention than when I received them the first time) and it's the exact same number ... which was the exact number of miles United took away from me. Again, I swear that I donated last year, and I told them so on the e-mail I just sent them through the airline's website. But I fear that they could just come back with, "But sir, you had a monthly reminder of how many miles we say you had in your account, as well as the date at which they would expire, so don't say we didn't warn you."
Oh, by the way, United took these miles from me February 1 -- Wednesday, just three days ago. If only I knew. If only I realized. ...
If this e-mail beg doesn't work -- or if I didn't donate miles in 2016 like I thought I did, or if donating miles no longer counts as keeping your account active -- I can get my miles, some of which I accrued back when I flew to Europe after graduating from high school, reinstated. At a cost. Of $200. And after I picked my jaw back off the floor, I decided that I was A-O-damn-K with paying that $200 to get my miles back. Because 42,000+ is a hell of a lot of miles. And I cannot part with miles I got way back in 1994.
You know, I paid $275 as a fee to turn in a Stanford MBA application that is so weak the school probably has already rejected it. Retrieving these miles will be the second outrageously exorbitant waste of money I have spent in 2017. I could use that $475 to pay off the ticket to go see Grandmother in Hong Kong. But instead I am spending it on a useless application and getting these non-tangible miles back. My God, what in the hell is wrong with me???
Oh yeah -- I just looked at the title. I much prefer Delta now because Delta's miles never expire!!! Go suck it, United!!!
United demands that there be activity on an account within 18 months or else the airline will take them all away. Flying on them works, obviously. So does donating them, or at least I think. That's why I spent some time, a couple times a year at most, going to United and donating, oh, 500 miles to keep my account active.
I swear I did that at some point in the last year-and-a-half. I swear. On my days of unemployment I went to Caribou in the mornings and I did just that -- at least once in 2016, and probably twice even though I didn't have to.
The problem is is that I have no track record of it. I was never given a receipt of the 500 miles I know I gave last year. I have never received a receipt. The last noted transaction United said I had, donating 500 miles to some charity in June 2015, I also never got a receipt for. I didn't think much of it because I assumed that they got the record of me donating 500 miles.
And there's another problem. I signed up for United's regular newsletter, and -- now that I am in a panic that all my 42,000 miles are now gone -- I see, in fairly large type, the exact number of miles I have, and the expiration date United gave me. I just perused the monthly newsletters going back to July 2015 (obviously with a lot more attention than when I received them the first time) and it's the exact same number ... which was the exact number of miles United took away from me. Again, I swear that I donated last year, and I told them so on the e-mail I just sent them through the airline's website. But I fear that they could just come back with, "But sir, you had a monthly reminder of how many miles we say you had in your account, as well as the date at which they would expire, so don't say we didn't warn you."
Oh, by the way, United took these miles from me February 1 -- Wednesday, just three days ago. If only I knew. If only I realized. ...
If this e-mail beg doesn't work -- or if I didn't donate miles in 2016 like I thought I did, or if donating miles no longer counts as keeping your account active -- I can get my miles, some of which I accrued back when I flew to Europe after graduating from high school, reinstated. At a cost. Of $200. And after I picked my jaw back off the floor, I decided that I was A-O-damn-K with paying that $200 to get my miles back. Because 42,000+ is a hell of a lot of miles. And I cannot part with miles I got way back in 1994.
You know, I paid $275 as a fee to turn in a Stanford MBA application that is so weak the school probably has already rejected it. Retrieving these miles will be the second outrageously exorbitant waste of money I have spent in 2017. I could use that $475 to pay off the ticket to go see Grandmother in Hong Kong. But instead I am spending it on a useless application and getting these non-tangible miles back. My God, what in the hell is wrong with me???
Oh yeah -- I just looked at the title. I much prefer Delta now because Delta's miles never expire!!! Go suck it, United!!!
Friday, February 3, 2017
Addendum To: I Haven't Told Him, Yet -- Nope, I Just Did
... and he didn't show up for work today. It was his last day, and the lunch we were going out for was basically for him since it was his last day. But he didn't show, so no lunch for him. And therefore his last day, technically, was yesterday, since that is when he came in. (BTW, he came in Wednesday but no-showed Monday nor Tuesday.)
Look, he didn't keep regular hours. Most of the time he would saunter in in the late afternoon. Lately he had to cut out early. But there were some days he wouldn't show up. I assume he told our bosses, but if he did, I didn't know. Now, missing three days without me knowing, that was something I wasn't used to. His rehearsals ratcheted up in intensity this week, but he e-mailed one of my bosses saying that although he had to cut out real early, he would be in. Nope, only two-of-five days, excluding this one.
I have to wonder: Is he mad that I got the job and he didn't? Is he rolling around in his bed in a deep depression because he "lost?" Should I not have told him that I was extended? Maybe I shouldn't have told him. But gosh, if we were all at lunch, news that I would be sticking around would have been uttered at some point. Man, did I make a mistake?
Look, he didn't keep regular hours. Most of the time he would saunter in in the late afternoon. Lately he had to cut out early. But there were some days he wouldn't show up. I assume he told our bosses, but if he did, I didn't know. Now, missing three days without me knowing, that was something I wasn't used to. His rehearsals ratcheted up in intensity this week, but he e-mailed one of my bosses saying that although he had to cut out real early, he would be in. Nope, only two-of-five days, excluding this one.
I have to wonder: Is he mad that I got the job and he didn't? Is he rolling around in his bed in a deep depression because he "lost?" Should I not have told him that I was extended? Maybe I shouldn't have told him. But gosh, if we were all at lunch, news that I would be sticking around would have been uttered at some point. Man, did I make a mistake?
Thursday, February 2, 2017
I Haven't Told Him, Yet -- Nope, I Just Did
So one thing that I hadn't thought about till today about my extension at work is my co-worker, who is also a temp. He has not been extended, so his last day is tomorrow. Now, this is just a job for him; his heart is in the theater, he is in a show now, and in fact he is so busy this week that he didn't even come in Monday and Tuesday. Still, this is money, and even if it is a part-time job, I got the job that he could have had. (In fact, going part-time would be even better for his schedule, at least for this week, where he had to come in earlier because rehearsals got more intense.)
The complication is that I don't know if he knows that I'm staying around. Also, while I don't think he would be upset, I'm not entirely sure. So even though I knew this as of Monday afternoon, I haven't told him. Or, I have yet to tell him. It didn't occur to me that I needed to tell him. But then I remember that we are having a "goodbye" lunch, and I'm still going even though I'm not saying "goodbye." But my friend is leaving, so it is "goodbye" for him. And that fissure will probably come up, especially since I told our co-workers who invited us out to lunch.
I was going to go on about my internal monologue and ennui, but I just Facebook Messengered him and told him. And even though I caught him during intermission, he said he was OK with me keeping the job and him not. Well, he said he was. We'll see if his body language tells me different.
The complication is that I don't know if he knows that I'm staying around. Also, while I don't think he would be upset, I'm not entirely sure. So even though I knew this as of Monday afternoon, I haven't told him. Or, I have yet to tell him. It didn't occur to me that I needed to tell him. But then I remember that we are having a "goodbye" lunch, and I'm still going even though I'm not saying "goodbye." But my friend is leaving, so it is "goodbye" for him. And that fissure will probably come up, especially since I told our co-workers who invited us out to lunch.
I was going to go on about my internal monologue and ennui, but I just Facebook Messengered him and told him. And even though I caught him during intermission, he said he was OK with me keeping the job and him not. Well, he said he was. We'll see if his body language tells me different.
The Best Commercials Of Super Bowl L
I have always meant to put this one up, but I didn't after Super Bowl L (and I am not going to call it Super Bowl 50 because you HAVE TO BE CONSISTENT WITH YOUR ROMAN NUMERALS) for two reasons. One is an old reason but it remains true: I got busy.
The other: I wasn't all that impressed with the arsenal of commercials that ran during the game. So even though I started it and even went back to revise it, I left it alone after, oh, late September. But now that Super Bowl LI is coming up Sunday, I have felt guilty about not finishing this up. Also, I had reviewed some of the spots that ran during SBL in the months after the game and I realized that I may not have given them a fair shake at first blush. Some of them, in fact, were good enough (though not great enough) to earn a spot in The Most Important TV Event For Commercials Of The Year.
I will give a shout-out to a quartet of Honorable Mentions: Hyundai's "The Chase" (talking bears are cool; I really liked that the bear admitted, "I wanted to eat them"; and then the two just started talking like a pair of type-B personality, uh, bears); "Commander" for Audi (I am touched by this because it features an old man which I think is afflicted with Alzheimer's); Budweiser's "Simply Put" (kind of shocking to see Dame Helen Mirren plugging for a beer, but also kind of cool); and "Portrait" for Skittles (kind of a pat punchline, but I loved it when Steven Tyler said, "Alright, let's do this. I've got minds to twist and values to warp.")
For my top five I will insert the ads below.
5) Hyundai, "First Date"
This is your classic big-budget Super Bowl spot, and it's for a product that is regularly hawked in the Super Bowl, cars. And it's the type of broad comedy that is a hallmark of ads for this game. Some dumbass picks up a girl for a date, but her smothering father does all he can (with the help of Hyundai's stalker-ish Car Finder technology) to keep tabs on them to make sure he doesn't fuck her. As I said, that this is the fifth-best commercial of Super Bowl L, largely on production values, speaks to the relative weakness of last year's crop. But that the father is Kevin Hart makes the spot. With this I finally understand how he has grown to be a charismatic and successful comedian and actor.
4) T-Mobile, "Drop The Balls"
About six weeks after he royally screwed up and embarrassed a poor woman by announcing that she was Miss Universe (aside: here's the card Harvey looked at in announcing the order of the finalists. The article blames the card, but even though the organization is kind of funky and there is room for improvement, Harvey should not have effed that up), he and T-Mobile seized on it on The Most-Watched Television Event Of The Year. Piggybacking on the visual gimmick Verizon uses of balls rolling down ramps to represent a state where one of the Big Four Network Carriers is the fastest when it comes to that category, or something (aside: I've noticed that the wireless companies use each other's ad campaigns a lot. Shoot, Sprint took Verizon's former spokesperson. Is that legal? If it is, why don't other industries do it?), Harvey walks in to set the record straight once again. With card in hand, his "apology" is actually a rebuke to Verizon saying that T-Mobile is downright slow. Once Harvey announces that T-Mobile has double the number of LTE towers in the year prior, an avalanche of balls come running down the ramps and overwhelm the pools in the bottom of it.
I realize now that there are two tracks to the spot. Technically, Verizon was using the balls to represent a "state win" in a category, but T-Mobile are using them to denote the number of 4G towers they now have on their network. It's not the same thing, but that's not really the point. I've done research online and apparently, Verizon's use of the balls on their spots has been the subject of such ridicule that T-Mobile (and Sprint also) felt that they had to use what they think is a dumb visual. Balls, balls everywhere! basically. To me, though, it's still Harvey that sells it. Capitalizing on his dumb mistake, I appreciate that he can make fun of himself and at the same time empathizing with him as he sighs in relief that the "mistake" was Verizon's fault, not his. I've been there many times, sir.
3) No More, "Text Talk"
My friend and I go to the British Television Advertising Awards (now officially called the Arrows, but what do arrows have to do with commercials?) every year, and although the number has gone down recently, he has often complained about the number of grim, negative PSAs that received laurels. I have always said that although they ruin the mood of the screening, you have to admire how effective the ads can be, which is kind the point of a commercial.
This is one of them, using a text back-and-forth between a woman who's enjoying the Super Bowl and her friend, who is ... well, that's the most haunting part of this spot. Texting is obviously a common and modern way of communicating, but it is only used to transmit information. It isn't a thorough arbiter of tone, although you can grab hints by what people are saying. Add that the spot is just a phone screen of thought bubbles and you get the feeling that the person on the other end is really, truly isolated and in danger. Your mind races as to what trouble she could be in, just by what she's saying and, by extension, what she's too afraid to say. All the other spots were noisy and full of color, which makes this anti-domestic violence PSA stand out so powerfully.
2) T-Mobile, "Restricted Bling"
(I'm kind of cheating on this one a bit. The actual ad aired during the Super Bowl was only 30 seconds long. This one is a minute, and like many ads that air during the game, it was released for public consumption online well before that Sunday. You get the gist of the spot in the 30-second, but I'm including the minute-long because it's funnier.)
The third and final of the top five featuring, and buoyed by, the presence of an actor. Drake is a hell of a rapper and singer, and "Hotline Bling" is one of the most hypnotic hits I've heard in recent years. But you have to remember that he started as an actor, having shot to stardom in the Canadian show Degrassi: The Next Generation. His charisma comes through in his double-threat potential -- he has acted on Saturday Night Live twice and has been sterling both times -- and he carries this commercial of lawyers stopping him recreating the video for "Hotline Bling" to cram in exclusions to their phone company's (not T-Mobile, of course) plans in his song. The sarcasm seeps through every comeback to the lawyers' suggestions; instead of coming off as an entitled asshole, Drake seems like a guy doing his best to deal with inane advice. And he's extremely funny while doing it.
1) Doritos, "Ultrasound"
While the overall heft of commercials for SBL was lacking, the clear-cut #1 stands toe-to-toe with the best of other Super Bowls, and it's no surprise that, once again, Doritos comes out on top.
A pregnant woman is coming in for her ultrasound while her lout of a husband is eating Doritos next to her. And then he sees that the fetus is reacting to each chip he pulls out of the bag. I don't want to say more; if you haven't seen it yet, or if you don't remember it from last year, see it again.
Upon further viewings, this is an incredibly constructed ad narrative-wise. The genius of this spot comes in how organic the pieces in place are and how each step building towards the punchline makes total sense. The woman and the OB/GYN are talking when they're distracted by the loud crunching of the father; they're both peeved; they got back to talking when he realizes the baby is reacting to the Doritos; the jerk starts teasing the fetus because, wow, that's so cool; and then the wife gets really annoyed and ... well, just see the spot. When the ending comes, it is surprising and edgy when it comes to Super Bowl ads and yet, in retrospect, that's how this story had to end. And it is hilarious as fuck.
Last year was the last year Doritos was doing its "Crash the Super Bowl" campaign, where they ask people to create a Doritos-centered ad and select which are strong enough to air during the Super Bowl, the price of which the chip company would pay for. (A 30-second spot for Super Bowl LI -- and I don't know why the NFL is going back to Roman numerals because "Super Bowl lie" looks just as clunky as "Super Bowl L" would -- costs $5 million, for example.) Doritos' Chief Marketing Officer said that it's discontinuing the annual contest after a decade because "The landscape has changed." To which I say, So what? Doritos created its own form of viral marketing before the term "viral" became overused. It is now known (well, was known) for hosting a contest where every year, some common man can create a funny and memorable commercial and have the enviable shot of seeing it air during the Super Bowl. I can't see how that became a tired concept, especially if every year you find another person that created something funny or at least memorable. That people can vote before the Super Bowl on which spot will air is democracy at its purest, something we don't have much nowadays. And even though Doritos says that they'll expand these opportunities throughout the year and ask for content for other avenues, there is nothing like the allure (and the chance at a career) the captive audience of the Super Bowl guarantees.
Well, although this is the end, Doritos went out on top.
The other: I wasn't all that impressed with the arsenal of commercials that ran during the game. So even though I started it and even went back to revise it, I left it alone after, oh, late September. But now that Super Bowl LI is coming up Sunday, I have felt guilty about not finishing this up. Also, I had reviewed some of the spots that ran during SBL in the months after the game and I realized that I may not have given them a fair shake at first blush. Some of them, in fact, were good enough (though not great enough) to earn a spot in The Most Important TV Event For Commercials Of The Year.
I will give a shout-out to a quartet of Honorable Mentions: Hyundai's "The Chase" (talking bears are cool; I really liked that the bear admitted, "I wanted to eat them"; and then the two just started talking like a pair of type-B personality, uh, bears); "Commander" for Audi (I am touched by this because it features an old man which I think is afflicted with Alzheimer's); Budweiser's "Simply Put" (kind of shocking to see Dame Helen Mirren plugging for a beer, but also kind of cool); and "Portrait" for Skittles (kind of a pat punchline, but I loved it when Steven Tyler said, "Alright, let's do this. I've got minds to twist and values to warp.")
For my top five I will insert the ads below.
5) Hyundai, "First Date"
This is your classic big-budget Super Bowl spot, and it's for a product that is regularly hawked in the Super Bowl, cars. And it's the type of broad comedy that is a hallmark of ads for this game. Some dumbass picks up a girl for a date, but her smothering father does all he can (with the help of Hyundai's stalker-ish Car Finder technology) to keep tabs on them to make sure he doesn't fuck her. As I said, that this is the fifth-best commercial of Super Bowl L, largely on production values, speaks to the relative weakness of last year's crop. But that the father is Kevin Hart makes the spot. With this I finally understand how he has grown to be a charismatic and successful comedian and actor.
4) T-Mobile, "Drop The Balls"
About six weeks after he royally screwed up and embarrassed a poor woman by announcing that she was Miss Universe (aside: here's the card Harvey looked at in announcing the order of the finalists. The article blames the card, but even though the organization is kind of funky and there is room for improvement, Harvey should not have effed that up), he and T-Mobile seized on it on The Most-Watched Television Event Of The Year. Piggybacking on the visual gimmick Verizon uses of balls rolling down ramps to represent a state where one of the Big Four Network Carriers is the fastest when it comes to that category, or something (aside: I've noticed that the wireless companies use each other's ad campaigns a lot. Shoot, Sprint took Verizon's former spokesperson. Is that legal? If it is, why don't other industries do it?), Harvey walks in to set the record straight once again. With card in hand, his "apology" is actually a rebuke to Verizon saying that T-Mobile is downright slow. Once Harvey announces that T-Mobile has double the number of LTE towers in the year prior, an avalanche of balls come running down the ramps and overwhelm the pools in the bottom of it.
I realize now that there are two tracks to the spot. Technically, Verizon was using the balls to represent a "state win" in a category, but T-Mobile are using them to denote the number of 4G towers they now have on their network. It's not the same thing, but that's not really the point. I've done research online and apparently, Verizon's use of the balls on their spots has been the subject of such ridicule that T-Mobile (and Sprint also) felt that they had to use what they think is a dumb visual. Balls, balls everywhere! basically. To me, though, it's still Harvey that sells it. Capitalizing on his dumb mistake, I appreciate that he can make fun of himself and at the same time empathizing with him as he sighs in relief that the "mistake" was Verizon's fault, not his. I've been there many times, sir.
3) No More, "Text Talk"
My friend and I go to the British Television Advertising Awards (now officially called the Arrows, but what do arrows have to do with commercials?) every year, and although the number has gone down recently, he has often complained about the number of grim, negative PSAs that received laurels. I have always said that although they ruin the mood of the screening, you have to admire how effective the ads can be, which is kind the point of a commercial.
This is one of them, using a text back-and-forth between a woman who's enjoying the Super Bowl and her friend, who is ... well, that's the most haunting part of this spot. Texting is obviously a common and modern way of communicating, but it is only used to transmit information. It isn't a thorough arbiter of tone, although you can grab hints by what people are saying. Add that the spot is just a phone screen of thought bubbles and you get the feeling that the person on the other end is really, truly isolated and in danger. Your mind races as to what trouble she could be in, just by what she's saying and, by extension, what she's too afraid to say. All the other spots were noisy and full of color, which makes this anti-domestic violence PSA stand out so powerfully.
2) T-Mobile, "Restricted Bling"
(I'm kind of cheating on this one a bit. The actual ad aired during the Super Bowl was only 30 seconds long. This one is a minute, and like many ads that air during the game, it was released for public consumption online well before that Sunday. You get the gist of the spot in the 30-second, but I'm including the minute-long because it's funnier.)
The third and final of the top five featuring, and buoyed by, the presence of an actor. Drake is a hell of a rapper and singer, and "Hotline Bling" is one of the most hypnotic hits I've heard in recent years. But you have to remember that he started as an actor, having shot to stardom in the Canadian show Degrassi: The Next Generation. His charisma comes through in his double-threat potential -- he has acted on Saturday Night Live twice and has been sterling both times -- and he carries this commercial of lawyers stopping him recreating the video for "Hotline Bling" to cram in exclusions to their phone company's (not T-Mobile, of course) plans in his song. The sarcasm seeps through every comeback to the lawyers' suggestions; instead of coming off as an entitled asshole, Drake seems like a guy doing his best to deal with inane advice. And he's extremely funny while doing it.
1) Doritos, "Ultrasound"
While the overall heft of commercials for SBL was lacking, the clear-cut #1 stands toe-to-toe with the best of other Super Bowls, and it's no surprise that, once again, Doritos comes out on top.
A pregnant woman is coming in for her ultrasound while her lout of a husband is eating Doritos next to her. And then he sees that the fetus is reacting to each chip he pulls out of the bag. I don't want to say more; if you haven't seen it yet, or if you don't remember it from last year, see it again.
Upon further viewings, this is an incredibly constructed ad narrative-wise. The genius of this spot comes in how organic the pieces in place are and how each step building towards the punchline makes total sense. The woman and the OB/GYN are talking when they're distracted by the loud crunching of the father; they're both peeved; they got back to talking when he realizes the baby is reacting to the Doritos; the jerk starts teasing the fetus because, wow, that's so cool; and then the wife gets really annoyed and ... well, just see the spot. When the ending comes, it is surprising and edgy when it comes to Super Bowl ads and yet, in retrospect, that's how this story had to end. And it is hilarious as fuck.
Last year was the last year Doritos was doing its "Crash the Super Bowl" campaign, where they ask people to create a Doritos-centered ad and select which are strong enough to air during the Super Bowl, the price of which the chip company would pay for. (A 30-second spot for Super Bowl LI -- and I don't know why the NFL is going back to Roman numerals because "Super Bowl lie" looks just as clunky as "Super Bowl L" would -- costs $5 million, for example.) Doritos' Chief Marketing Officer said that it's discontinuing the annual contest after a decade because "The landscape has changed." To which I say, So what? Doritos created its own form of viral marketing before the term "viral" became overused. It is now known (well, was known) for hosting a contest where every year, some common man can create a funny and memorable commercial and have the enviable shot of seeing it air during the Super Bowl. I can't see how that became a tired concept, especially if every year you find another person that created something funny or at least memorable. That people can vote before the Super Bowl on which spot will air is democracy at its purest, something we don't have much nowadays. And even though Doritos says that they'll expand these opportunities throughout the year and ask for content for other avenues, there is nothing like the allure (and the chance at a career) the captive audience of the Super Bowl guarantees.
Well, although this is the end, Doritos went out on top.
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