Positive Numbers: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -3). I'm sure it's happened before, but I don't remember a screening Week in which all the University of Minnesota teams I track on the WMNSS went undefeated -- 7-0, to be exact. Ski-U-Mah!
And now, to rank them. And frankly, I'd be hard-pressed not to put the volleyballers on top. I've been down on this program a lot over the years. Still am; can't see how a volleyball-mad state such as Minnesota can't get its top-flight squad to the mountaintop of the NCAA Tournament yet. Furthermore, they've been kind of wan this Year, losing to several teams in the upper echelon of the sport. But it is impressive to see them finally crank out a Week that I know they're capable of: Two Wins, both over ranked (as in Top 10) opponents, one of them on the road. It started with a gutsy, grinding, five-Set victory over then-sixth-ranked Nebraska at the Sports Pavilion where both squads traded Sets. The Gophers topped themselves with a four-Set Win over then-seventh-ranked Ohio St. in Columbus last/Thursday night, giving the U. the season sweep over the Buckeyes.
Minnesota entered this Week's AVCA Top 25 rankings in 11th. That certainly should rise for next Week. But also on Monday, the NCAA Volleyball Tournament Selection Committee put out its first Top 10, a stupid exercise following the stupid exercises of the College Football Playoff weekly ranking reveals and the before-Big Dance ranking shows for men's basketball. There is no reason to publish these other than to prime fans into following the who's-up, who's-down bullshit that is just, like, every fucking season. It really is like passing out heroin for free, hoping you get addicted to it so that you'll steal your mother's heirlooms to buy your next hit. At any rate, Louisville is first even though their second in the AVCA. Texas is vice versa. Nebraska is sixth in the NCAA, Ohio St. seventh. Minnesota is nowhere to be seen in that NCAA Liminal Top Ten, and Jenn Hoffman of ESPN.com has some misgivings over that. Suffice it to say, if there is this NCAA thingy every Week until the NCAAs begin, the Gophs are in Monday. And who knows, that might lead to them actually sticking around this tournament!
Meanwhile, the team finishes up a three-Match road trip visiting 25th-ranked Illinois tomorrow/Saturday evening and Iowa Thursday.
#0: Gopher football (Last Week: -1). And congratulations go out to the gridiron Golden Gophers, who have secured bowl eligibility by dispatching Northwestern Saturday afternoon in Evanston, 41-14. Securing six Wins used to be a high bar to meet. Now, it's an expectation (last season excepted because of the pandemic), which is an indication of how standards have been raised with this club. Also, the U has won four in a row, with the last Loss being to -- ahem -- Bowling Green.
On Wednesday, it was revealed that P. J. Fleck has agreed to a new seven-Year contract to remain Head Coach of the Gophers. That should cool any talk of him going to USC, or any other place. I think. Anyway, he is fast approaching the status of a god walking the earth in Dinkytown, so this contract is a coup for the school. So I'm giving the footballers here a non-negative number.
Illinois and former nemesis Bret Bielema come to town early Saturday afternoon. Time to upgrade the bowl you'll get into, boys.
#-1: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -5). A bona fides-burnishing home sweep of associate Big Ten member Notre Dame over the weekend is much-needed ammunition to rocket up the PairWise. It's early, but the squad's 5-3, so they need to pocket more Wins. And better Wins, too ... such as this weekend's two-Game series vs. Wisconsin in Madison. Now this is going to be a Border Battle!
#-3: United FC (Last Week: -6). The U. as a whole was an unstoppable machine over the past Week, so it didn't feel right to split up Golden Gopher teams at the top of the survey. Nevertheless, I also should note that the Loons went undefeated this screening Week. And sure, they played only one Match, but it was a crucial Game, and a crucial Win.
MNUFC was on the outside looking in before Sunday afternoon's Halloween tilt versus Sporting Kansas City, who are themselves fighting with Seattle and Colorado for the top seed in the Western Conference and thus a bye from the First Round of the playoffs. And SKC got on top first in the Eighth Minute. But the reinforcements of the past couple seasons came through when it mattered. Franco Fragapane tied it up in the 20th, the Emmanuel Reynoso deposited a Penalty Kick in the 39th for what turned out to be the Match-Winner.
Their fortunes turned, and still turn, on results from other Western Conference XI's battling it out with United FC for the postseason. Many of them had midweek Games. The big loser was Real Salt Lake. They are now on the outside looking in because they lost Wednesday night at home to Portland, 3-1. That means RSL needs to win and get some help to reach the playoffs. Meanwhile, the Timbers winning puts fourth place in the West out of reach for MNUFC, and the home Game that goes along with it. You can say what you want about the squad's postseason success, feeling either better or worse compared to conventional wisdom. But Minnesota United not only made the playoffs the past two seasons, they hosted a playoff Match in the First Round. That won't happen this Year.
And while they sit fifth, there is still a possibility they are eliminated from postseason play. Their Win plus the results over the workweek involving other teams give the Loons a lot of outs (to use a poker term), but early Sunday evening, aka Decision Day, they'll be in Carson, Calif., facing a Los Angeles Galaxy club who are in a very slightly more precarious position. If the Galaxy win, MNUFC supporters are going to feel very much like supporters of any other Minnesota team.
#-4: Wild (Last Week: -4). Got drubbed in Denver 4-1 by The Bastard Quebec Nordiques, then needed Overtime before disposing of Ottawa at the X, 5-4, on Tuesday. It was Kirill Kaprizov scoring the Game-winner, and I think that's his first Goal of the Year. Finally.
Welp, that's all I got say about these guys. This Week: At Pittsburgh tomorrow/Saturday evening, then they fly home to face the New York Islanders and new acquisition Zach Parise. The squad then begins a West Coast road trip with back-to-back stops in Phoenix and Las Vegas Wednesday and Thursday.
#-5: Timberwolves (Last Week: -2). Welp, after a promising start, the Woofie Dogs have reverted back to being the Woofie Dogs we all know and hate. Three Games this screening Week. All three of them Losses. All of them being played at home, by the way. Blerg.
The club finishes its four-Game homestand by playing the second of a two-Game home series against the Clippers. They then begin a four-Game roadtrip with stints in Memphis and San Francisco.
#-6: Vikings (Re-Entry!). One Loss puts a team in rock bottom but not three? The Timberwolves have almost the entirety of their season ahead of them, so at least theoretically they have a chance to turn things around. Time's already running out with the ViQueens, who are now 3-4 after their defeat to the hated Dallas Cowboys. There are enough amplifying factors with this defeat that I just had to put these gys dead last. This was Sunday Night Football, a national showcase. It was also Halloween, and I can see either couples who don't do the trick-or-treat thing or watch the TV while doling out candy watching this Game, thus boosting the number of eyes who watched that debacle turned in by Minnesota.
Worst of all is the fact that they got beat not by Dak Prescott, but by his back-up, Cooper Rush, and I wouldn't have known this guy even existed if I hadn't seen the news on him replacing Prescott on TV. That always fucking happens to the Vikes, don't it? But it was the backup QB that marched the Cowboys down the U. S. Bank Stadium turf (oh yeah, the fact that they lost at home is also head-slapping), rendering the sloppy, cuckolded Vikes Defense useless yet again. Not to say that the D is the only problem (although I would argue it is the worse side of the ball for the ballclub); the Offense once again bogged down in the Second Half, settling for Field Goals and outright refusing to put away a Dallas squad that, in case you haven't heard, was started a backup QB.
Finally, another series of questionable clock management calls at the end of the First Half put Mike Zimmer in fans' crosshairs. And rightly so. I think I have turned on Zim. My moment was the post-Game news conference after Week 1's Loss to the Bengals, in which he blames the players for the series of mistakes that led to the defeat in Cincinnati and shoulders none for himself. That, plus his continued fuck-ups with either calling Timeouts or conserving time in order to score, plus the continued incompetence on his forte, the Defense, and I'm pretty much done. Some tweets suggest that Zygi Wilf may be done with Zimmer also. To me, he's got two more Weeks to pull a miracle out of his ass. They lose this and next Week, Zim's gone. (After those two contests they host Green Bay, and I don't think he wants to give Cheeseheads the feeling that their team was the one who got Mike Zimmer fired, although keeping him after a fourth straight Loss would also be untenable.)
Oh, this Sunday's Game? In Baltimore against The Bastard Cleveland Browns v.1.0. Let's see this Defense try and contain Lamar Jackson -- AND FAIL.
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