Addendum To: "I Was Under The Impression You Speak English," AKA With Friends Like These, Who Needs Friends?

Goddamn, even typing that insult pisses me off.  But I responded to him in a way I vowed not to in this blog post.  I responded by saying I don't have time to keep track of the people who, for some goddamn reason (but I didn't say "goddamn") hate birthdays ... and then I talked about the monkeypox, something he brought up after he insulted me.

How did he respond?  By not being pissy about my (probably failed) passive-aggressiveness.  He just talked about how freaked out he was over the monkeypox.  I said it can only spread through close contact, like someone with the pox slapping people.  And then he said we should get together and eat.  (shrug)

I'll take it, I guess.  Don't know if we'll get together and eat, however.

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This brings up something that happened to me early Saturday evening.  I was dropping by her place after the Gopher baseball Game because she was hosting her annual event where she was both selling her homemade jewelry and serving up kegs of beer for friends at her place close to downtown Minneapolis.  She lost her, I think, boyfriend/partner last year to COVID-19, and I haven't seen her until Saturday.  She is in good spirits, although it's obvious she misses her man every day.

I didn't stay long.  Probably a half-hour, enough to drink a cup of beer that was normal back in 1985.  Frankly, besides asking how she was and hoping things get less worse for her in the days ahead, I didn't have much of a reason to stay.  So I excused myself from hanging around with her friends and made my way inside her house to say goodbye to her.

She was there hanging out with a friend.  As I said goodbye, this dude, who was slurring his words because he was in the middle of day-drinking asked if he could ask me a question.  I said, "Sure!  What's the worst that could happen?"  And I swear I didn't understand it, but he might have, might have, said something racist, to which my friend, ah, jokingly chided him.  I shrugged and walked toward the front door.  And I think she said something to the effect of, "Friends -- what can you do?"

That's gotten me to thinking.  I have always prided myself on, and been careful about, the company that I keep.  And yet I know that there has to be at least one, and probably many others, who, when in other people's company has behaved or does behave in a way that I don't like.  And not just be annoyed by.  I'm talking about a characteristic where, if that was my first impression of my friend, that person wouldn't be my friend.

I've thought about my friends being assholes way before, but it's come up, and forgive me if you don't get this, during the Johnny Depp-Amber Heard defamation trial.  It appears as though that public opinion is siding with Depp.  In actuality, looks here that people are less declaring that Depp is innocent of beating Heard than berating and even mocking Heard's testimony on the witness stand.  There's a lot of misogyny that's baked into this phenomenon.  But I can't help but think that both Heard and Depp are terrible, fucked-up people who, to be honest, deserve each other.  And the only reason people are letting Depp go scot-free while upbraiding Heard for accusing him of beating her is because Depp is ... well, Johnny Depp.  He's Jack Sparrow!  He's the guy from 21 Jump Street!

There has been testimony that has painted Depp in a not-so-good light.  He has admitted texting Heard graphic, even violent threats.  And it looks as though he has not been a professional actor, especially in his later years.  But people continue to testify on his behalf, including ex-girlfriend and model Kate Moss, via video conference yesterday/Wednesday.  Moss testified that rumors that Depp threw her down a flight of stairs is false.  I don't quite believe her, but my point is that he has gotten friends and fans tuning in to a tabloid-style trial that is exposing the worst facts about him.  I loved him in the first Pirates Of The Caribbean, but I've heard enough in this trial to think he's a dangerous asshole.  His friends and fans must be hearing these same negative details about him.  Are they surprised?  And can they continue to regard him as his friend?  If I were Depp's buddy, it would be extremely hard for me to hear this, then look him in the eye and commit to continue being his friend.

No, no one is perfect.  And I'm sure my friends have to rationalize and/or make excuses about me and my behavior from time to time.  But where is the line separating, for lack of a better word, loyalty and standing up for a set of principles you expect the people in your life you like to follow?  Is it a racist comment?  Is it being told you're stupid?

Sometimes I don't understand why my friends can't just be perfect, you know?