The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#0: Vikings (Re-Entry!).  OK, yesterday/Sunday afternoon's gut punch Win in Seattle was pretty fucking impressive.  I was shopping for groceries, getting my sis lottery tickets, and washing my parents' minivan during a second half where the Seahawks climbed back into the Game and then took the lead.  As a fatalistic Vikings/Minnesota sports fan, I was totally prepared to hear that the Vikes lost; it just goes with the territory, you know?  And yet, goddamn, Kevin O'Connell, Sam Darnold, and Justin Jefferson took the team on a Game-winning drive that culminated with a Darnold-to-JJ Touchdown Pass that put the Vikings ahead for good.

It was a resilient victory over a game opponent in a situation where too many times before this franchise would just come up short.  While I can nitpick (they are playing a third-place schedule, and this organization has historically yo-yoed depending on the strength of the schedule), not too often do you see these Vikings beat a good foe on the road, especially in Seattle.  My goodness, they're tied with Detroit atop the NFC Central with a 13-2 record.  O'Connell is the first Head Coach in franchise history to lead the Vikings to two 13-Win seasons ... and he's done it in his first three seasons as HC.  I'm not totally believing, but more parts of me are getting on the bandwagon, if you know what I mean.

Now, there are still two Matches left in the Year.  First up is a crucial one at home versus Green Bay Sunday afternoon.  But these Vikings have shown they can come up with the crucial play when the situation calls for it, so I'm not ruling the club out.  Gosh, could these guys ... actually win it all?

With all the being said, while they obviously take the top spot in the WMNSS, I'm not putting them in Positive Numbers only because the rest of the sports scene had lackluster results, and none of the other squads that played over the last Week deserve 0.  Even ... 

#-1: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -2).  ... the U. of M. women's basketball team, who finished up their non-conference schedule by beating the shit out of Prairie View A&M Friday afternoon, 96-57.  Hope the check for the bodybag Game was worth it, because it proved nothing about your team's strength.  Hosting Penn St. Saturday afternoon, however, will.

#-2: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -5).  Beat Farleigh Dickinson, only the second school ever to defeat a #1 Seed in the NCAA Tournament while being a #16 Seed, at Williams Saturday, 74-60.  I can't help but think that if the Gophers were a better team, they would've beaten the Knights by a larger margin.  Anyway, they have one final chance to feel good about themselves Sunday afternoon, when they finish up the non-conference portion of their schedule hosting Morgan St.

#-3: Timberwolves (Last Week: -1).  OK, now's the time to panic.  They had only two Games this screening Week, both of them were at home, and they were not competitive in either one.  On Thursday, Karl-Anthony Towns came back to the team that made him and he and the New York Knicks (with former Wolves Head Coach Tom Thibodeau in tow) embarrassed the Two Elves, 133-107.  Then on Saturday, they were playing catch-up all Game and fell to The Bastard Philadelphia Warriors, 113-103.

Any problems that could be ironed out to prove that the club has been able to adjust to new personnel should have been solved by now.  The Wolves are not an excellent team right now, and they just might not be a great team, either.  And they have slipped back down to tenth in the West.  Like I said, it is time to get seriously worried about the Timberwolves.

It is a privilege to be one of the ten teams selected to play on Christmas.  They will do so in the afternoon at Dallas.  That is the middle of a three-Game road trip that starts in Atlanta tonight/Monday night and concludes Friday night at Houston.  They then come home Sunday to host San Antonio.

#-4: Wild (Last Week: -3).  Shit, man.  You could say what happened to the Mild.  Then again, they are still under an onerous salary cap deficit and no one predicted they would even be in the playoffs this Year.  Still, it is injuries that are biting this squad hard right now, as evidenced by them getting totally wiped out this Week, losing at home to Florida and The Bastard Winnipeg Jets/Phoenix-Arizona Coyotes (both at home) and at The Bastard Atlanta Thrashers.  They once tied with Winnipeg for most Points in the NHL; as of now, five teams have more Points and two are tied with the Mild.  Oh, and they've lost five out of their last six.  But like I said, maybe they are who we once thought they were.

This Week: Home dates with Chicago and Ottawa bookend a trip Friday vs. The Bastard North Stars.

Can't Really Watch The NFL Today, But Who Cares, I Got A Full Night Of Sleep!

Didn't think I would sleep so long today, but I woke up a bit past 1 in the afternoon, which blows my mind.  I think I went to bed between 3 and 4 in the morning, so I got at least nine and possibly ten hours of sleep.  And it was glorious, man, I hadn't felt so energized when I woke up in a long, long time.

Now, that threw off everything I wanted to do today.  I was able to go out to get my car washed, get gas for it, get Mega Millions tickets for Father, and cash in on free fries at McDonald's before my points expire at the end of the month/year.  But as I was walking in to Mickey D's, I could see the sun going down.  Less than 90 minutes after I wake up, the sun's going down -- can't believe it.  The Winter Solstice was yesterday/Saturday, but we will still have a lot of meteorological dark days for a while.

I forgot, however, to grab supplies for the spaghetti I plan on making Christmas.  I might as well drive the minivan to get the outside washed, and my sister just asked me to get her Mega Millions, too.  I would be bummed to have to do all of this because of football.  But besides the Vikings Game that started in Seattle at 3:05, there was Rams-Jets at noon (the only Game on in that window here in the Twin Cities this Sunday) and, alongside Vikings-Seahawks, Bills-Patriots at 3:25.  Not a great slate of NFL Games.  Plus, I woke up at 1, so I kind of slept through a full Day of pro football.

Should go out soon.  Oh yeah -- I plan on visiting a speakeasy tonight.  I like it there, and I want to go there one more time before Christmas to wish them Happy Holidays.

Couldn't Hide My Annoyance

So whenever I buy coffee or a mocha before coming to work, I transfer the cup into my mug so it keeps hot.  I do this in the break room, obviously, so I can get a stirrer and to make sure I pour it into the mug over a sink in case I spill.

The break room, however, has only one sink.  I guess it doesn't need two, but when it gets crowded, and it oftentimes does at work because some departments get scheduled breaks, it would make sense.  But it would make sense for me in this different case because, the other day, as I was about to do this pour, this guy from the lab comes up and starts to wash his hands.  He has done this before, and that is what annoyed me on this day.  Since it would be weird to remain right next to him, I scooted a couple feet away.  

Because I didn't want him to splash water or soap onto or into my cup or mug (usually there is still coffee left in the to-go cup, so I drink what's left in that, pour out a little more from my mug back into the to-go cup, drink all of that, then drink from my mug -- it's my thing), I grabbed both (or maybe one of the two, I don't remember that distinctly) when I scooted over.  And then, well, I just looked at him.  I looked at him while he thoroughly washed his hands, then grabbed a couple sheets of towels to dry them, then he started to walk away from the sink as he was drying his hands.  And that's when I swooped in to do my thing.  So, I think he got the impression that I was impatient and annoyed with him and that I would have rather him not be there.

And you know what?  That's totally true.  He ruined my routine.  All I wanted to do was pour my coffee/mocha and he interrupted that, and it wasn't the first time.  My problem was that I didn't hide it or give off the idea that what he did was not a big deal.  But by staring at him and waiting, I was totally saying, "Are you done yet?"  I didn't sigh heavily, but I might as well have.

So I'm afraid this incident is going to come back on me.  What happens if he does this again?  What happens if we cross paths in the lab?  Will he throw soapy water into my drink when I'm not looking?  Will he tip it over?  I'm not saying it will happen ... but there's a non-zero chance.  Just sayin'.

Helping Mother Over The Phone ... Yeah, Kind Of A Time Suck

One of the things that, well, annoy me about my parents leaving for Las Vegas is that, if Mother wants something from me, it sometimes takes a lot of time.  The last two times I spoke to her, Tuesday and just now, I spent many, many minutes trying to help her -- and I just realized it's basically about the same issue.

On Tuesday she needed me to go through her records to look for a company associated with her real estate holdings.  I couldn't find what she was looking for.  We even Facetimed so she can direct me to where in her office she thought this information was, to no avail.  I think that was 45 minutes.  I was trying to watch the finals of the NBA Cup.  I think she called at the start of the Second Half; by the time I was done with the call, the Game was over.

Apparently, however, Mother found the info she was looking for.  Unfortunately, she had an issue talking to this company, who sent her e-mails she didn't understand.  So her English-speaking son had to boot up his computer to check out these e-mails and see what he can do to (and I think this is the problem) correct mailing information.  But I couldn't; anyone who could help doesn't seem to be there on the weekend, and even worse, next week is Christmas Week.  There might not be a chance this issue will get fixed until after the New Year.

Meanwhile, that call took about 15, 20 minutes.  Felt longer than that, and with my chores of, um, shopping at Target and at Total Wine, I feel wiped out.  I want to have fun tonight; I plan on going to a stripper party, then shopping at the Megamall and probably eating at Hooters.  But because of this call -- and don't get me wrong, both calls were important, even though they were also both futile -- I think I need to take a nap first.  Hopefully I will still have time, if I do conk off.

Analyzing The 2023 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue

Compared to the porn I watch on a regular basis, The Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue completely pales in comparison.  Maybe that's been obvious ever since I turned 18, and maybe my last time to ever acknowledge that without losing any cis male/heterosexual credibility was around the time this issue went "woke," but if I haven't said it before, well, I'm saying it now.  I am buying these yearly issues based on tradition, the same way I keep accepting and paying for binded books of the yearly addendum of my World Book Encyclopedia (that gives me an idea for a future blog post, but I digress).

With all that said, I have to say that the 2023 issue is a ... good one, and it is a great one compared to previous years.  I think the main reason is that the, well, "progressive" angle has either been tamped down or successfully integrated into the issue in a way that doesn't distract from the women being photographed in the edition.  It doesn't look as though they're making that big of a deal that these "differently-sized" models are posing, and that all of these models have lives outside of modeling meant to advance a good cause or show that she's more than a model.  That's all in the background.  That, or I have gotten so used to the proselytizing that I don't notice it now, one or the other.

At any rate, it's easier in the '23 SI Swimsuit Issue to look at gorgeous women than in recent years.  For example, I am grateful for the veterans of this issue, such as Hailey Clauson, Camille Kostek, and Jasmine Sanders.  I am piqued at some of the returnees who have got some good pictures this time around.  For one, I will point out Brooks Nader, whose cover for this issue I chose to buy from Amazon.  She's got a powerful, bangin' shot on the cover (chunky-ass bracelets notwithstanding), and her shot on page 23 is hot as hell.  I'm also looking at Lorena Duran, who, I admit, I like most of all for her ass shot on p. 126.  (Yes, the ass shots are the best ones in SI's issue.  See also Kostek's butt on p. 30 and Kamie Crawford's on p. 73.  I will be jerking off to them soon.)  Again, there are models of all body types here, and that's never going to change.  But if you want them skinny and "traditional," they're here.  Oh, they're here.  (And before I forget ... a model in the ascendency: Olivia Ponton.  See her on pages 99, 104, and 108.)

And you know, maybe the reason this feels like a throwback is that the celebrities they convinced to pose are, for the most part, conventional beauties.  LSU gymnast and social media/NIL superstar Olivia Dunne has a spread here.  Is she a starter for LSU?  I don't think so; when I saw LSU win its first-ever NCAA championship in the sport at the bar this spring, it looked as though she was asking to be photographed with the trophy for her social media, and it didn't look like she broke a sweat helping out the team.  But I guess it doesn't matter, because she's fucking hot in Sports Illustrated too, and yes, she flashes her toned ass a couple times.  Another hot woman from LSU, rebounding maven (and big who can't shoot straight) Angel Reese has a couple photographs here.  Another spread is given to Padma Lakshmi, and there may not be a more underrated celebrity when it comes to physical beauty and the courage to show it off than Lakshmi.  Look at her pics -- she's a babe, hands down.  Too bad she doesn't flaunt her ass; it's probably nice.  German transsexual pop star Kim Petras also shows off her butt, and hey, it (as well as the rest of her) ain't bad.  And while Martha Stewart keeps her bikinis in one piece, the way she flirts with the camera suggests that if she gets enough wine in her, she might be prone to cattin' around.  Just sayin'.

This is the best Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue in many a year, and it might be as good as it'll ever get.  If you haven't bought it, do so.

Alright, Guess It Wasn't So Bad

Using my scrapper as a psuedo-guide, I estimated 2 1/2 inches of snow already fell when I left for work yesterday/Thursday morning.  I thought I was in for a bad ride to work, but it was alright (I did take it slow and drove on side streets, of course).  I was able to drive up my driveway after I accelerated a bit.  And when I got my yardstick out to see how tall the depth of snow was after I got home from work, it averaged out to about 4 inches.  And the snow as the powdery kind, not the wet, heart attack type.

For those two reasons, I started off with using the mini-snowblower.  It jams and stops if I push it up against more snow than it can handle, and it jammed frequently when I started out using it because I began at the base of my driveway, after plowed snow from the street was thrown onto it.  That was not a good sign, but once I got up my driveway past the plow line, it didn't jam.  In fact, it was quick and easy to use.  A few problems, however.  One, the auger and the chute are aligned in basically the same housing, so what you're looking at is both the snow you're going to plow and the direction that snow is going to be thrown.  Also, the battery lasted only half an hour, so it conked off halfway up my driveway.  Finally, I'm still having trouble digging the bottom plate against the driveway, so I know I am leaving snow on it as I pass over.  A concurrent issue with that is that the snow I plowed got caught in the air and fell back onto the driveway.  That means that my driveway actually isn't completely clear, even though the four inches of snow is gone.  I moved my cars around the driveway to clear it all, but I had trouble driving them back up after I used the mini-snowblower, so I had to shovel the bottom half of the driveway to clear it of snow.  And a dusting of snow has fallen tonight, so I might have a problem getting up the driveway again after work today/Friday.

This wasn't the quack device I was afraid it was.  I saw my neighbor use a similar device when I got home, and I thought I heard the plastic whirring of the augur of a mini-snowplow out in the distance.  Maybe this is a thing after all.  However, my main problem is that, as easy and quick it is to use, it is also very small.  As big and kind of onerous it is to haul out a normal-sized snowblower, I think I could have cleared much more of the driveway, if not all of it, in 30 minutes.  I don't know if I'd have the patience to make, oh, 50 passes across my driveway in order to get all the snow out using this thing.  And what if it's the wet kind of snow?  Would it work then?  I have my doubts.

Anyway, the work was (just about) half done when the battery died, so I shoveled the rest, and since it was the dry type, it was a breeze to shovel that snow away.  Two hours after I started I was done.  And I didn't have to worry about potentially breaking the garage door because it doesn't have a backup battery, because I didn't have to use the normal-sized snowplow after all.

Man, I felt so energized after I got done.  I felt like I accomplished something, even if it was the laborious chore of clearing snow.  But this time 24 hours ago I didn't know if I had the strength to get through it.  I think I did, thank Buddha.

Pissed Off And Freaked Out Over The First Snowstorm Of The Season

There have been worse ones, but this one is forecast to be bad -- goddamn, maybe half a foot -- and this has sapped my mental energy since last night.  Last night it was going to be a nuisance, only 2-4 inches.  Fucking thing got amped up, apparently, and I am scared as fuck about it.

It is mainly falling over the course of my workday.  It'll start overnight, be at its heaviest just as I start work, and it might be ending by the time I get home.  So, driving is the first and the worst of my anxieties.  We've had dustings here and there, but this is the first fucking snowstorm of the season, and no one in the world is worse at driving than Minnesotans after the first snowstorm of the season, and I include myself in that.  I'm scared that I'll get stuck somewhere, or I'll drive myself onto oncoming traffic.

But there is so much fucking more to worry about.  That I have to go into the lab and pull out packages that might be leaking piss today gives me even less to look forward to on a day where I'm scared I'm not going to even make it into work.  I don't know if I can use the snowblower if I have to use it because I don't have a backup battery in my garage door opener.  I obviously have power, and I guess I could open it with it plugged in, but I don't know if I'm supposed to, and if I am afraid to, I can't open the garage door, which means I can't use the snowblower which sits in my garage.  Oh, Father bought a handheld snowblower, one of those things that looks like a metal detector but it's supposed to throw snow like a snowblower, except not.  He wants me to try it, and I might have no choice but to try it, but I just looked online at how it works, and I'm not sure if I can do it, and besides, if we're getting the amount of snow I'm afraid we'll get, using this thing to clear my driveway is like using a thimble to dump water out of my canoe.  Oh, and I don't know where the battery charger for this thing is, so I don't even know if I have the juice for it.

I'm scared that the city will dam up the end of my driveway so I can't drive up it.  I hate that I might have to park on the street, walk in the snow up to my house, potentially open my door manually and possibly decapitate myself if it falls on me, or run into the garage through the basement to get my shovel to start shovelling half a foot of goddamn snow, and even more at the end of my driveway.  Motherfuck, I don't need this shit now, goddammit. ...

Fuckin' Janitors Tossed My Liquids

The cleaning crew at work threw away my coffee creamers and the bottles of apple and grape juice I hadn't finished yet.  There are two refrigerators, and pretty much every other week (although not next week because of the holidays) they're supposed to clean one of them, and they will clean out and throw away anything in the fridge they're cleaning.  I think I lost bottles of creamer once, and about a half-hour after they threw away the sub I just put in a fridge this one time, I frantically asked the janitors if I could have it back.  (I found it, still completely wrapped up, IIRC.  And yes, I ate it.  I paid for it!)

This ... well, this one came as a blindside.  The janitors are supposed to put up a sign in front of the fridge that is supposed to be cleaned out Monday evening the week prior.  Because of that bad memory, I know I always am diligent to move my creamers out of the fridge that will be cleaned and put it in the other one.  But like I said, they don't alternate cleaning every week, and I fucking swear to God that I didn't see a sign last week.  Now, I took Thursday off, and Friday was that shitty day where I got hit with an avalanche of work in The Fourth Department (BTW, it still hasn't abated, and it won't for a while) and then I had to get to the Timberwolves Game, and I didn't work Monday (I blog posted about my off-on schedule here) because I was working the Vikings Game.  I was venting with my supervisor and co-workers late yesterday/Tuesday afternoon about this, and they speculated that the cleaners put up the sign later in the week, like Thursday, and that's why I missed it.  If so, goddammit, that's their fault because they need to give all of us a week's notice.  Shit!

I had three bottles of creamer.  One of them was brand new.  Didn't even open the fucking bottle yet.  And yes, I had two bottles of juice I hadn't completely drank.  But fuckin' A, they were mine.  Those two bottles of juice and three bottles of creamer cost (granted, I think one was nearly empty and one was half-empty) ... oh, $20, $25?  Again, that amount is not like a mortgage, and I drank through a lot of creamer and apple and grape juice up to Monday, and obviously I can't do anything about it now.  But I can't help but look at it in terms of money, and that's money that was fucking taken away from me.  And I think -- no, I'm not 100% certain -- that I got royally fucked because no one put up a notice when they were supposed to.

The thing is, I didn't realize this until the middle of work yesterday, when I had to break away from my desk because the avalanche of work in The Fourth Department kept rolling down on my head.  And that might allude to why I didn't move my stuff (assuming I was given ample warning, which I don't think I got): I was too distracted by other things this time around to notice.  Beyond that, I didn't have time during the rest of my day once I realized I lost my shit to lose my shit because I had work to do.  It's only when I'm dwelling on what I lost -- for example, as I'm writing this -- that I'm pissed off.  For most of the rest of the day, at least until I vented to my supervisor and colleagues, I wasn't pissed because I had other things I had to concentrate on.

And so delving into work, like I will have to do today, might be a good thing because it takes my attention away from being pissed off at the fucking janitors.  I have half a mind to confront them next Monday evening for "stealing" my stuff.  But if I plunge into my work -- and I left yesterday/Tuesday, like Friday, with a ton of work to do even after I gave myself two extra hours at work -- I won't have time to get mad, and therefore I won't do something reckless and futile.  It's the best I can do.

In the meantime, I have to go to Target after work this/Wednesday evening and buy more creamer.

Teamwork Really Does Make The Dream Work!

If the dream, of course, is to get down with strike as soon as possible.  And even though I haven't worked that hard physically since, well, working for these guys for Monday Night Football last year, I don't think it was as as bad or as long as strike was last year.  Two hours after the Game got done, and it flew by.  It helps tremendously that there were a lot of people on hand to do all the work.

And maybe because I felt so good that I wasn't bogged down by hard and interminable labor, I didn't immediately crash into bed like I thought I would.  In fact, I'm energized right now, even though I have about four hours of sleep I can cram before I have to go to my regular job.  I should go to bed now, even though I'm awake, because I might really crash at work today.

Just want to say that, like two weeks ago, I have taken two of the past three days I would be working at, uh, work off.  I did not work Thursday because I needed to take paid time off.  Friday I worked.  And today/Monday, even though I am working the Vikings Game today, I am not working at, uh, work.

I don't mind taking days off.  Just sayin'.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#-1: Timberwolves (Last Week: -3).  Light Week with only two Games, but the T-Wolves won both, home over the LeBron-less Bastard Minneapolis Lakers at Target Center Friday the 13th (I thought I was saved from my conundrum about choosing not see James the first time he blew into town, but no such luck this time; he didn't even make the trip here, and officials with that squad are being cagey about what exactly is keeping him from playing) and then at San Antonio last/Sunday night.  That tilt Friday wasn't great basketball, but since James wasn't playing, it felt as though Los Angeles didn't really have the heart to play, no matter how well Anthony Davis was individually.

With only five teams I have to write for this screening Week, I think it's time I finally weighted in with my thoughts about the Karl-Anthony Towns trade.  Obviously it was to keep the organization from reaching the second apron and being subjected to transaction restrictions repeater fees, and that is understandable.  (Aside: it's interesting to see so many fans act like front office people when it comes to improving their teams.  They cheer on players, maybe even buy their jerseys, but once a player turns in a bad season, or even if there's a possibility of bringing in someone who fans think can boost their club's chances of winning, oh, they think they're a General Manager and they'll deal players like trading cards.  I always find that kind of strange.)  I really thought the Wolves were going to run it back with everyone, but apparently New York added enough for President Tim Connelly to pull the trigger on a trade that had some life to it over the 12 Months or so.  They couldn't keep the core together much longer, and it was obvious KAT's contract would be the one to go.  So, Connelly got younger, got better contracts, and (at least at the time) got the offensive creativity that was absent when his team was eliminated in last season's Western Conference Finals.  Donte DiVincenzo can pop the 3 and can play some Defense; Julius Randle can create his own shot from inside the arc.  I saw him create and make buckets out of nothing in the two Games at Target Center I've been to so far this Year.

But, chemistry is a thing, and the players remaining here say that Towns (as well as Kyle Anderson) provided a sense of sacrifice that bound the locker room together.  That doesn't seem to be the case here, at least so far.  A lot of it is the breaking down of Defense so far this Year.  Neither DiVincenzo nor Randle (who, fair to say, isn't known for his D) hasn't held up their end on that end of the floor, a big reason (well, that and some serious regression from Rudy Gobert) Minnesota has become an average defensive team.  Also, while Randle is very dependable for mid-range jumpers, once he gets the ball, it rarely comes out, and that gravity suck is throwing the offensive rhythm off.  Now again, those cons might pale in comparison to the money the franchise doesn't have to pay KAT (who, by the way, isn't completely winning over Knicks fans because he hasn't been keeping up defensively for Tom Thibodeau in Manhattan).  And Randle's contract is only guaranteed for this Year; he can be shipped or even waived (maybe?) after the season's over, thereby freeing Connelly to find someone else who might be both younger and cheaper.  But right now, the T-Wolves are tied for sixth in a ridiculously awesome West, and they still have some work to do in-house.

This Week is just as light as last Week -- two Games only yet again, vs. ... hey, whaddaya know, Karl-Anthony Towns and the New York Knickerbockers Thursday, The Bastard Philadelphia Warriors Saturday, both at home.

#-2: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -4).  An 81-43 win at The Barn over Jackson St. isn't nothing ... no, it's just about nothing.  They wrap up non-conference play Friday afternoon when they host another HBCU, Prairie View A&M.

#-3: Wild (Last Week: -1).  Outlasted The Bastard Winnipeg Jets/Phoenix Coyotes in a Shootout in Salt Lake City Tuesday, then got routed 7-1 at home to Edmonton Thursday, then won comfortably at home Saturday afternoon over Philadelphia, then lost last/Sunday night at the X to Team Third Base/Bettman's Favorites/Team Privilege, aka The (Las) Vegas Golden Knights, 3-2, despite Kirill Kaprizov scoring his 22nd and 23rd Goals of the season.  Man, KK is having what many are saying is a Hart Trophy-winning Year.  Unfortunately, the Mild no longer co-lead in Points in the NHL.  The Bastard Atlanta Thrashers got it back, even though Minnesota is just a single solitary Point behind (as is Washington).  But that overthrow from that lofty perch has to be reflected here in the WMNSS.

They finish their four-Game homestand hosting Florida Wednesday and Utah Friday, then travelling up to Winnipeg the following evening.

#-4: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: Positive Numbers).  You can't get a bigger matchup early in the men's college hockey season than #1 versus either #2 or #3 (depending on which poll you look at).  Sadly, the "worse"-ranked team, Michigan St., came into Mariucci and, in my mind, pulled off the sweep of the Gophs.  Sure, Friday's contest technically ended in a Tie, but the Spartans won the Shootout and got the extra Point.  I am more concerned about Saturday's effort, where they held a 3-1 lead but allowed Michigan St. to score four Goals in the back half of the Third Period (the last being an Empty Netter) to lose, 5-3.  Yes, the Spartans are apparently a great team, and when you're ranked #1 in the country in this sport, you won't be #1 for long.  But still, it's an early test for the U., and they didn't pass, and losing both at home kind of sucks.  Especially since they don't get to write these wrongs with a Win on the ice until they host Mercyhurst (the last of four straight opponents they face at home) the first weekend of 2025.

#-5: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -5).  I will presume Ben Johnson's a nice guy -- he is One Of Us, after all -- but unless something close to miraculous happens this season, he's on the hot seat.  Indiana is a blue blood basketball brand, but they're not that good right now, and yet they handled the Goofers in Bloomington last Monday by 15.  A return to the non-con will help temporarily; this team's only Game this screening Week is Saturday at home against Farleigh Dickinson.  But how are these guys going to fare in the Big Ten?

Chore Day, Yay!

Had a great time out with friends, but as is my wont in my old age (well, I went to a bar by myself to drink), I came home and slept almost immediately.  Well, maybe after two hours.  Saturday Night Live was on, Chris Rock was on, and because of college football (mainly, though you could include soccer and college basketball too), I haven't seen much of the new season till now.

Conked off around 12:30, got up around 8:30.  That's eight hours -- normal sleep duration!  And I am now energized (enough) that I feel good doing the chores I need to do.  I'm washing clothes now that the strainers have come in.  I've just gone through all the stuff in my car's side console.  I should go through my papers, but I probably won't.  Baby steps.

And I will step outside, even though it looks kind of grody out there.  I also bought some windshield wipers, and I think this is a good time to replace them in both cars.  I also want to go out to the gym and exercise tonight because my physical is tomorrow -- and that reminds me that I need to fast, too.

Try to be productive, try to be productive. ...

Woke up early enough to go through with my plan of working on my monthly expense list at a coffeeshop not that far away from me.  Had oatmeal to keep the plumbing flowing, if you know what I mean.  But it was kind of dry.  Poured in some of my mocha to wetten it, but it didn't work.

Anyway, I drove my parents' minivan to the coffeeshop.  Want to put it through its paces.  Thought about driving my car instead because the car wash is on the way to the coffeeshop, but the weather said it was and will get gross, so I didn't think it would matter.  But the drive there and back was perfectly fine.

What wasn't fine is the oil level.  This coffeeshop has a level parking lot, so I was able to check the level, and dammit, it's even lower than it was the last time I checked it -- about a quarter, I think.  It was at half one or two weeks ago.  Is the van going through oil like it's going out of sale, or am I scaring myself?  I know for a fact Father put in oil before they left, and that was early this month.  Can't be ... I'm playing myself, I just know it.

I am seeing friends for our annual Christmas tradition.  Using my car, of course, but dammit, I'm scared that the weather will get bad enough that driving will be treacherous.  They're saying ice.  Great.

My Co-Worker's Retiring

Hit me like a ton of bricks at work yesterday/Friday: One of my co-workers, a stalwart at the company and someone I have relied on for advice on how to work back there, announced her retirement.  She's leaving around the end of the month/year.

I haven't really had time to process it because the day was absolute hell.  A lab is closing down, so we're getting all their accounts, but the information has to be manually inputted, plus there are a lot of forms that are coming in from this lab (I went through 70 total, an all-time record).  I was in chicken-with-its-head-cut-off mode all day, so even though I heard her, I still haven't digested the news.  And this cavalcade of new forms might be coming in for the next two weeks, so by the time this lab's accounts have been fully integrated and we don't have to worry about making sure every piece of information is correct, she'll be long gone.

And I know I'll have more to say and think about this later, but right now, I am really, really sad.

Hottest Babe In The Hooters Calendar: November 2024

From December until my folks get back, the Hooters calendar will be on the wall, so all the servers for each month will be displayed for me to osmotically reflect upon and visually digest.  But November '24 does not have that luxury; I have had to scan it a couple times to analyze the month.  However, with that said, even if I was able to hang this calendar on the wall in November, I feel fairly certain to say that I am nonplussed about it.  Hey, all twelve women in the month are beautiful.  But because of posing or physical attributes that, while pretty, don't stand out from the others, I will only recognize two of the dozen.

In second place is Layla, of Spring Hill, Fla.  She seems young.  Long, straight-ish black hair, wearing a leather-looking black two-piece.  I love the fact that she is looking straight at the camera.  No twisting or angles at all, she is standing upright and directly at you.  Well, except she's grabbing the sides of her bikini bottom, which intimates something erotic.  Nothing complex, she's just showing off her body, and the simplicity is what makes the photograph work.

And in first place is a veteran, and one waitress I have had the pleasure of meeting.  Allie from Lone Tree, Colo., is back.  Sure, she is angled off to the side, but I love her action pose of kneeling against what appears to be the shore of a lake.  Her wavy-ish, more-blonde-than-not hair cascades down the right side of her head.  Her red two-piece bikini clings to her body, but she's still sporting the same hot body that's been getting it done for years now.  Unfortunately, I have bought and looked through the 2025 Hooters calendar, and it looks as though she's not in it.  I don't know if she's taking a break, stopped posing for the calendar, or has left Hooters altogether.  That last possibility is a shame; she's absolutely fucking gorgeous.

So, in what may be the final time ever, congratulations to Allie on being the hottest babe for November 2024.  And don't worry, I masturbated to these two earlier tonight.

They're Still Lacking

I was worried about upselling ... and they did.  And I fell for it.

So when I went through the garage I passed by this gate.  It had these machines on the side and this contraption on the bottom.  I thought they were studs that raise up that blows the tires of anyone backing up out of the garage, if you know what I mean.  But when I got this illustration from the customer service rep, it turned out it was something else: A machine that checks for the alignment of the car.  And, according to this machine, my car's left driver's-side ... uh, camber was off.  Or something.

The rep said looking at it and fixing it would cost $160.  And I said sure.  Why?  (sigh) I guess they're not wrong.  But damn, this still just feels like a way to nickel-and-dime me.  By the way, they seemed to have fixed it, but after I got my car back the rep said that there was something else wrong and they couldn't quite fix it, so they knocked off sixty bucks, so the extra charge (beyond the spare key fob) was only $100.  Guess it could be worse, but I'm still out $100 more than I originally planned?

Oh, by the way, although I asked, the rep didn't tell me how much oil was in my car when I gave it to them.  Instead, they checked it after they got done with it.  They said it was "full."  Sure, but what was it when I gave you my car?  The rep was nice, but I'm still not completely happy with the dealership.

Review And Preview

Not only did yesterday/Wednesday start early because I was filling in for someone, but I had to stay late, almost by an hour.  Sure as hell didn't anticipate that, but there is a new type of form for which we have to type out every single line of information, something we don't usually do.  Also, the background to these forms is dark, so the scan comes out as almost black, which means we need to manually zoom in on the scan to see each line of info we need to type out.  It's a pain-in-the-ass, and that's why I stayed later than I would have had to.

Still, I got out early enough to move up the time for Gladiator II from 7:30 to 4:50.  Review: It was a sequel.  Wish the fight scenes were better, and there needed to be more of them.  Hey, did you know that when they began to shoot Gladiator, they didn't have a script?  They finally got one together, but they were kind of waiting around in the beginning.  I think the story and plot were great in that one.  Assuming they had a script from the start of Gladiator II, I thought it was long and plodding.  But, if you want gore, this is your movie.

Through a deal on T-Mobile Tuesdays, I ate at Popeye's, decided my blackened Chicken Tenders and Popcorn Shrimp weren't enough, and ate some Dot's Pretzels.  This was after I decided not to order a drink from Popeye's because it was getting expensive.  Hell, even without this drink I spent more than ten bucks.  I need to work on that.

Anyway, after that I talked to Mother about the mail, watered Father's plants and, around 10:30, listened to my body and went to bed.  Woke up around 5:30.  Stopped my streak on Zynga Poker, but it was worth it.

Now, with my day off, I have to wake up by 11 to take my car to the dealership because I ordered a new spare key fob.  I also asked them to check the level of oil in my car in case I overfilled it.  Like I said before, I have made myself a target to getting ripped off.  Or -- and I am now scaring myself again, I realize -- they'll warn about something that feels plausible enough to scare me for the next or two as I debate whether and when to bring my car back in for repairs.  For example, I was warned the last time I took my car in (to my local shop in July) that the brakes probably need to be replaced the next time I come in.  So, if the dealership says, "Hey, your brakes are just about gone," I'll think, "Man, are they lying to me ... or could they be telling me the truth?  I don't know what to think!  I don't know who to trust!"

And then I plan on watching Conclave at the local theater.  I want to drive the minivan to put it through its paces, but I don't know if it can hold up in the coldest weather we've had so far.  Or, maybe I should use the minivan precisely for that reason.

That's how yesterday was, and how today might be.

Farmers' Hours Again, Dammit

Since today/Wednesday I am technically filling in for someone and because I am scanning in the morning, my boss thinks it's best for me to work the same hours of the person I'm subbing for ... which means I have to come in at 6:30 ... which means I have to wake up around 5:30, which was my start time when I started this job all those many years ago.  I still think that "morning" starts at 6 (and just to make sure, if I have to come in to work at 7, I set my alarm clock for 6:01), and any time before that is waking up in the middle of the night and thus both weird and a sign I'm not right in the head.

But I must, and hey, it's only for one day.  But waking up around the time farmers wake up for the harvest isn't great for the body.  Heck, I should be asleep by now, but usually I go to bed 90 minutes from now, so I don't know if I'm going to get any sleep, because I doubt any sleep I do get is going to do me a world of good.

Plus, combine that with watching Gladiator II after work (I have a ticket for the 7:30 show; I kind of think that's too late, so I want to see if I can do the 4:50 screening instead, but I have been conking off in the late afternoon/early evening, so maybe I should stick to my original showtime?), and my body isn't getting a whole lot of rest the next 24 hours.  Goodness, I hope I make it to tomorrow/Thursday, when I have the day off ... to take my car to the shop.

I Have The Don't Know How My Oil To Put In My Car Blues Again

This happened once before, but I forget when.  Anyway, I checked the oil in my car in anticipation of bringing it into the dealership Thursday -- not for the car, necessarily, but for getting a new spare key fob.  The dealership is going to "check everything" anyway, and I figure that ... well, come to think of it, it wouldn't have hurt of I didn't check the oil, but I surmise that if it's a little low, the dealership will use that to tell me that my car is in bad shape and it needs $3,000 worth of repairs.  Don't know why I thought that I could avoid that upselling if I put in a little more oil.

(sigh) Anyway (again), I saw that the level was half-full/half-empty, and so I decided to use the rest of the bottle of oil that's in my car and threw it into my engine.  It was only a quarter of a quart.  And yet, when I checked the oil level, it was as if I had thrown a brand new bottle into it.  Its level was all over the damn place.  I thought it would only go up a little bit!  And this crap has happened before!  And I keep making the same mistake again!  Or is it a mistake?  (sigh again)

Well, I'm hoping I didn't overfill the engine.  It seemed fine going home, and besides, if adding a quarter of a quart destroys my car, I don't know why they make cars that are that finicky.  Hey, if I did overfill it, maybe the dealership can let me know ... or yell at me, or tell me I've destroyed my car, or something.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

Positive Numbers: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -5).  You know, this is impressive.  Not only did the fourth-ranked Gophers win both tilts over Michigan, they completely shut them out, too -- 6-0 Friday, 2-0 Saturday.  Did I mention the Wolverines were ranked sixth?  Yes, this was at home.  But you would think two teams this good and evenly matched would be competitive, if not end up in a split.  But a combined 8-0 -- and, by the way, despite the Wolverines thugging it up early in Saturday's Match to make up for the emasculation they suffered through the previous night?  That deserves a place atop the WMNSS and a place above negative numbers.

They're going through the back half of an unheard-of (at least for hockey) eight-Game homestand that will straddle two Years.  They will finish up play for the calendar Year this weekend with two versus Michigan St.

#0: Vikings (Last Week: -1).  These guys did something they hadn't done since early victories over Houston and San Francisco: Winning handily.  Now, like more recent Wins they were still in a dogfight vs. Kirk Cousins and The Atlanta Falcons yesterday/Sunday afternoon.  After scoring to take the lead late in the Third Quarter, the Defense allowed Cousins & Co. to march right back down the field, score a Touchdown via a Run from Bijan Robinson, and convert a Two-Point Conversion to tie up the Game at 21.  But the Vikings marched back down the field against, scored a tuddy, recovered the ensuing muffed Kickoff Return by Ray Ray McCloud, scored another TD, and they were off and running in doubling up Atlanta, 42-21.  Those TDs I described were passes from San Darnold to Jordan Addison.  Addison scored thrice.  Justin Jefferson scored twice (his first Touchdowns in some time).  And Darnold threw a career-high five TDs.  It's the first time a Vikes Quarterback threw that many Touchdowns and for more than 300 Yards in a Game since Daunte Culpepper did in in the 2004 season.  After a shaky middle portion of the season, Darnold has thrown 11 TD Passes without throwing an Interception in his last four Games.  (Meanwhile, Cousins threw two INTs in the Game, giving him eight picks against no Touchdown Passes in his past four Games.)

I have no idea if they're going to catch Detroit, but while the Lions host Buffalo Sunday, the Vikings get Chicago at U. S. Bank Stadium.  The Bears gained four Yards total in the First Half of their dreadful defeat in San Francisco yesterday/Sunday.  So either the Bears are going to be fired up, or the entire club has checked out.

#-1: Wild (Last Week: 0).  After outlasting Vancouver in Overtime at the X on Tuesday and crushing the Ducks in Anaheim Friday, they simply ran out of gas and got dominated in Los Angeles over a rapidly-improving Kings squad Saturday, 4-1.  No matter; the Wild are tied with Winnipeg and Washington for most Points in the NHL.  Seemingly nothing is slowing down the Wild, who are putatively 18-9 and enjoying a career season from Kirill Kaprizov and a bounce-back Year from Filip Gustavsson.

Busy Week this screening Week: They travel to Salt Lake City to face, for the first time, The Bastard Winnipeg Jets/Arizona Coyotes tomorrow/Tuesday night.  That completes their three-Game roadtrip; they they come back to St. Paul to start a five-Game homestand with Matches against Edmonton Thursday, Philadelphia Saturday afternoon, and (Las) Vegas Sunday evening.

#-2: Gopher women's hockey (Re-Entry!).  Swept St. Thomas, both contests at Mendota Heights (which is the Tommies' home rink), over the weekend, 5-0 and 6-2.  Would've felt better if they had shut them completely out.  Welp, the good news (and maybe this is just for me) is that they're done for 2024.  They actually play Bemidji St. New Year's Night in, of all places, Lakeville.  Does this have anything to do with the U. S. Hockey Hall Of Fame?

#-3: Timberwolves (Last Week: -6).  Well, they had a 3-1 screening Week, capped off by a frustrating eight-Point Loss in the second of a two-Game series at Golden State.  And yet they're still treading water at 12-11, clinging to a Play-In spot in the West.  They're still not jelling.

I just noticed that they're about to finish up playing seven consecutive Games against teams based in California.  That seventh and final Game is against The Bastard Minneapolis Lakers, whom they face after a five-Day layoff after that Loss to The Bastard Philadelphia Warriors last/Sunday night.  Oh, by the way, I got a ticket to see this Game.  When I blog posted about making the tough decision not to see LeBron James and his club last Monday, I thought that was the last Game they would be playing at Target Center.  I didn't look ahead and see that The Team That Was Stolen From Us v.1.0. would be back in the Twin Cities no only this season, but 11 Days since they were last here.  Not only will I get to see him (hopefully), I'll get to see him for free!  Oh, and in this easygoing Week, they visit San Antonio on Sunday.

#-4: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -2).  I thought this team was going to use their WNIT Championship appearance last season as a springboard to make it into the tournament that actually counts this season.  And they started off 10-0 with some Wins over schools you might have heard of in football (Oregon St., SMU, Houston), even though they began the screening Week more than doubling up North Florida at Williams Arena on Tuesday, 90-44.

But shit, man, they got a huge wake-up call once they started conference play against fellow BcS schools.  They went to Nebraska yesterday/Sunday afternoon and got pummeled by the Cornhuskers, 84-65.  Depending on the poll they've either made it to the back end or are on the cusp, but geez, losing by 19??  This single Loss makes me worry about the direction of the program.  I mean it.  But hey, at least they go back to non-con play and get to host Jackson St. Wednesday.  Also, they're still in better shape than ...

#-5: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -7). ... the Gopher men, who have suffered defeats to Wake Forest, Wichita St. and, egads, North Texas, and began B1G play Wednesday getting destroyed by a non-descript Michigan St. squad by 18 Points.  The season's just started, but damn, I would like to see some improvement, and soon, or else this could get real ugly.  And it could get ugly as soon as tonight/Monday night, when they have to travel to Indiana.

#-Infinity: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -3).  You know, it wasn't too long ago that this program reaching the Sweet Sixteen was automatic.  You could say they were even entitled to make it to the second weekend of the NCAA Tournament.  Not anymore.  The rise of the Atlantic Coast Conference as a fucking power in women's volleyball is a factor you can't discount (Pittsburgh and Louisville are 1-Seeds this Year, and I can never association them with women's volleyball).  But Keegan Cook hasn't kept this team in the upper echelon of the sport the way Mike Hebert or even Hugh McCutcheon has.

Sure, they beat Western Kentucky Thursday in the First Round, but the Hilltoppers were unseeded and the Goofers were the 6-Seed, so it was an expected result.  Also, they dropped a Set, which should have been seen as an omen, because they in turn were eliminated in four Sets in the Second Round Friday by pod host and 3-Seed Kentucky (which, by the way, is not a traditional power but has won an NCAA championship in women's volleyball, something Minnesota still has not done).  And I think we all just collectively shrugged, like it's no big deal.  But it should be a big fucking deal.  I don't think Minnesota v-ball fans had been honest about how they were a cut below the Nebraskas and Texases of the world, but now they're a cut below that.  I don't know where they hell they're going now, and it's both infuriating and pretty sad.

Drove the minivan to work today.  I figured that with the relatively warm weather and easy commute from near the Vikings stadium and back, there would be no better instance of me taking my parents' vehicle instead of my own.  Besides, my car has been around the area for a couple days now, so it's time it gets a break.

And still I'm scared as hell that it won't start, or that it will otherwise break down.  Don't know why; besides the side door not properly closing and the doors suddenly unlocking -- both things that have happened for a while now, both due to the cold that won't be around for the next few days -- the van is just fine.  And yet, I am scared that it's out of oil, or that the tires are suddenly deflated.  (I'm checking both the oil and the tires when I get back to my car.)  Hell, I'm scared that someone would try to break in because it looks like a jalopy.  I would not feel that paranoid if it were my car, but honestly, I'm scared that car won't start or will break down for some reason, too.  I now take a deep breath whenever I start any car that my family owns, basically.

So, I hope it's just me.  Wish me luck.

Expenses Without Receipts

Oh, shit.  I haven't done one of these in more than two months.  Starting from Saturday, December 7:

• I filled in for someone at work.  Based on the paucity of work that has come in lately, I thought I would be able to leave early.  Good thing too, because I wanted to go to Hooters because the local waitresses who posed for their calendar were doing a signing.  Then, I figured I would go to My Favorite Stripclub (Cover Edition) to see my ATF there and have a few dances before Christmas and while the weather was good.  Too goddamn bad that somehow, work ran long.  It ran so long that I pretty much missed the signing.  I say pretty much because I had to get out of the line waiting for a table -- that was something I was not anticipating -- to go over to the signing table.  They were packing up -- a little before they said they were going to end the event, by the way -- so I asked one of the women who posed if they were closing up shop.  They have ... but, would I like to buy a calendar?  Now, my plan was to use the calendar as part of the requirement to use a coupon for free fried pickles.  But I wasn't going to wait in line to eat there, plus I kind of felt committed to a hot babe offering to not only sell me but, it turns out, sign the calendar too.  Besides, I wanted to go the strip club, and if I couldn't eat, I might as well leave ASAP.  So I bought the calendar.  And even though the price was $19.52, it was not as if she had a cash register there.  I gave her $20.52, but she had to run to the back to get my buck in change, so she said if I could just leave the $20 I laid down at the table.  So I did: $20.
• So glad I saw ******a.  Cover, a bottle of cider for me, a Shirley Temple (!) for her, 23 couch dances, five bucks in tips for her at the stage and another for security on my way out, and that all adds up to: $261.
• Back to Thursday the 5th, where I stopped for money before work and then walked over to the nearby Caribou.  I was going to get oatmeal, but with the long line waiting for food and me (once again) not building in time to eat, I just went for a medium mocha.  With tip: $5.80.
• That evening I got wanked by *****y.  I love the idea of getting jerked off by her even though the actual, ah, act has not been as enjoyable now that I'm old.  But that's on me, not her.  Cost: $150.
• Monday, December 2 ... this was the day I had to see the title company.  After this momentous, uh, moment, I needed to eat something.  So, I went to a spot that opened up in the summer that has gotten rave reviews, Wells Roadside, which was formerly a drive-in.  I don't think the burger, jazzed-up fries and cocktail are at drive-in prices, but it was good, and it hit the spot at a time I needed to cram my anxieties down my throat.  With tip, and don't be shocked: $33.81.
• Later in the afternoon, ******e came out to touch my cock until I had an orgasm.  Lately she's been texting me asking if she could play with my penis.  I know she's just looking for my money, but the way she says that turns me on, even if I don't, uh, physically respond that way anymore because I am old.  Cost: $120.
• Holy shit ... I have to go all the way back to Monday, October 7, where I finally got around to seeing The Searchers, thought by many to be The Best Western Ever.  I was disappointed, I have to say.  Westerns back in the day are very black-and-white when it comes to issues and morals, but I was thinking this John Wayne movie was fantastic because of its ambiguity.  There wasn't; instead, there were subplots regarding a mixed-race nephew and a surprise marriage, and, to me, a central plot that continued the antiquated notions of White cowboys = good/them Indians = bad.  Anyway, the tips I gave to concessions and the pre-show organist were cash: $2.
• Thursday, October 3: There was a party where *****y, after some hesitation (she never hesitated at parties given at this house before), cranked my cock.  She wanted a tip, too; damn, these things are getting more and more expensive.  Also, I paid the host an extra $10 because I didn't have enough money for the cover the last time I went to a stripper party he hosted.  All told: $200.
• September ... it was still warm back in September.  Anyway, on Wednesday, September 25, I went and got a haircut.  With tip: $25.
• And I found a penny.  An Infusion of: 1 cent.

This went on ridiculously too long.  But I am caught up through December 7.

Haven't Needed To Cut!!

The last two times I've been scheduled to go into the lab to open up packages of piss, both this week and last week, were cancelled.  So few packages came that the people who work in the lab full-time could take care of it.  Hey, at first (and still now, to be fair) I am totally cool with not touching other people's piss.  But if this continues, as much as I hate cutting open packages, this lack of work for the entire company will seriously take a toll on the workload we all rely upon for our paychecks.  If there isn't any need for us to help speed the process along, will there be any need for us ... period?  I don't know.

A Tribute To The WNBA As It Is (Until This Evening)

So The Golden State Valkyries will have life breathed into it with The WNBA Expansion Draft tonight/Friday not, where the team will have the opportunity to pluck one player from each of the 12 existing teams (although the Valks won't have to).  That's great, seriously; I am really happy that women's basketball has reached a new plateau of popularity to the point that another professional b-ball franchise will be born and, presumably, will flourish.

In fact, it's about time.  Did you know that there has been a dozen, and only a dozen, Women's National Basketball Association teams since charter franchise The Sacramento Monarchs went out of business before the 2010 season?  Between then and the just-completed 2024 season, women's pro basketball in the country -- and, because America remains the best country for basketball players, the world -- has been survived with only 12 franchises.  Now, two of them were taken from cities during this period (and ironically, both The Las Vegas Aces and The Dallas Wings were taken from the second city both franchises have technically been in -- San Antonio and Tulsa, respectively), but for 15 Years (a majority of the 28 Years of the WNBA itself, by the way), it's been The Dozen.

I think, as a general rule, league expansion is overblown.  It's just a money grab, and a somewhat insecure nod to the notion that if you're not growing, you're dying.  The Big Three North American Sports Leagues have had the same number of teams for a while, and they seem to be doing just fine.  But I have to confess that I felt the WNBA was different because it was breaking ground in professionalizing women's sports.  An embryonic league needs to prove that it is growing in order to survive.  Besides, the WNBA tried an early explosion of expansion, adding two teams to the original eight in the league's second, third (this is when The Minnesota Lynx was born), and fourth seasons, then added four more in its fifth.  But three years after that, two teams in The Class Of 2000 (Portland and Miami) died.  The next year, original franchise Cleveland closed up shop.  The WNBA then yo-yoed between 14 and 13 teams in a pair of de facto trades: Chicago was born in 2006, but charter club Charlotte died at the end of that Year; Atlanta rose and the dynasty Houston Comets set in the 2008 season.  The Monarchs were done the Year after that ... and the league just stayed there, at twelve.

After all the risky expansion and potentially-fatal contraction, the WNBA at this point was just, you know, there.  It wasn't growing, but it wasn't shrinking, either.  It was, however, stable, and maybe that is exactly what the league, and women's sports, needed then.  To be honest, the American sports world considered the WNBA at the time to be a boutique sport at best, an afterthought at worst, even though a generation of world-class female athletes left their marks on the league.  They didn't make as much money as their NBA counterparts, of course, and they still don't.  They had to share practice facilities with commoners working out at the gym.  Up until last Year, most teams had to take commercial flights to get to Games.  But yet, those dozen franchises just kept soldiering on, putting out a damn good product too few people appreciated.

And that's why I feel compelled to blog post about this.  Beyond the misogynistic ridicule that was heaped on it (and, let's be honest, is still being heaped on it), the WNBA probably had to face numerous obstacles that threatened to bankrupt and end the league, issues that won't be disclosed until memoirs are published decades from now.  But these twelve teams held it down, showcasing as much and as well as they could the best female athletes in the world until the world woke up and realized what was under its nose the whole time.  And now, with Golden State coming in in 2025 and Toronto and a rekindled Portland (going back to a once-failed market, I think, is a sure sign of growth) coming in 2026, I am very happy to see the WNBA expand, and I think this time, the going will be sustainable.

So just before the WNBA welcomes its 13th team, I want to give praise and thanks to The Dozen, the ones that kept the flame of pro women's b-ball in the United States alive despite inattention and disrespect.  There would be no Golden State without the twelve mothers that are, through its players, essentially birthing this new team.  May the league go and grow onward!

Damn Plants Are Multiplying

Oh -- beyond the smelly, blooming one, my conniving Father bought several more plants for me to water just days before he left for Vegas, the bastard.  I want to say last year there were only nine for me to worry about.  Now, there are 16.  The fuck?  And to purchase them before he left ... I don't think he was trying to fuck with me, but I don't think he cared about the extra annoyance he threw on my lap.

And the thing is is that I feel as though I am still over-watering the plants, including the new ones!  My Father told me, once again, that the equivalent of a full pot of water is needed to water everything everyday.  I still don't believe that, but yesterday/Wednesday morning I did it, and ... well, I didn't want to oversaturate the poor plants, but once I went over each plant twice, I still had water left over.  So, after about half an hour or so, I thought, what the hell, and I used the rest of the water.  That still seems like a lot, and he wants me to give that much water to all the plants, old and new, every day??

Day Off: Pluses And Minuses

I have the day off, so I can stay up as late as I want because I don't have to be up in the morning at all, and what do I do?  After seeing Bonhoeffer and eating at Burger King last night, I go to bed and fall asleep at 10:30.  Then I wake up at 3:30, eat breakfast, half-water the plants (I'll water the other half now) and fall back asleep around 7:30, only to wake up again at 10:30.

Thought about blog posting twice today, but that'll be hard to do since I'm doing this blog post for the PM.  I also wanted to start doing the laundry, but I don't know where the strainers are, and I don't have any to spare, so I might as well wait and buy those.  Finally, I scheduled a session with my shrink over the phone.  I wanted it to be in the afternoon after my afternoon nap, but since I had as decent a sleep I've gotten in weeks and slept again in the morning, don't know if I'll need to even have on.  Also, EPL's on SiriusXM, so I might listen to that, and depending on the Match, I might prefer to listen to it all the way through instead of talking to him.  You know, I'm talking myself into hoping we can do this session now and not during soccer.  Oh, well.

So this is not going as well as planned.  But hey, at least I don't have to go to work, right?  And by the way, a small squall came through, dropping flurries, and the wind is whipping outside, and it's 21 degrees but feeling like 4 below.  I don't plan on even opening the front door today, and that's the right decision!

Choosing Not To See LeBron

This has crossed my mind whenever The Bastard Minneapolis Lakers come to town: This might be the last time I see LeBron James play.  I remember it was either the first or second Year he was in the NBA, and I got a Timberwolves ticket just to see him play.  He was the obvious focal point of the team, and he showed flashes of athleticism, but nothing that made me say, Wow, this guy is the second coming.

Didn't know at the time he would become LeBron James, and now he is The Greatest Basketball Player Of Our Generation.  But I don't know when he's going to quit.  He's still going strong, which is fast becoming one of his best-ever attributes.  Still, as a basketball aficionado, I should want to see him before he retires.  We just don't know when that is.  I don't know if James knows when that is.  I just know that for at least the past two seasons and possibly more, I thought that I should buy a ticket, just in case.

Unfortunately, that realization only comes when I do The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey and realize The Team That Was Stolen From Us v.1.0. is coming, and by the time I think what I'm doing the night of the Game, I realize, or decide, I can't go.  Like this Week, and today; they're in town to play the Timberwolves.  I actually do have the time.  In fact, I could decide to not go exercise, which is the plan, buy the ticket on a scalper site, and leave for downtown, right now.  But ... well, I haven't exercised in a while, I need to go to my storage space to start bringing things back home and ... shit, I'm using my OCD as excuses not to go, namely that I went to a Timberwolves Game last Week (and saw them lose), and I'm paying cash for everything today and buying a ticket means going online and using a credit card, and I don't want to do that.  So, for all those reasons -- nearly all relatively superficial -- I'm not going.

But that's the gamble, isn't it?  LeBron James keeps playing, and he's showing no signs of slowing down.  But one of these days he's retiring, and depending on how he announces it, the prices for his Last Dance will go through the roof.  It was one of the reasons I decided not to see Lakers Games in the past, and yet tonight's Game is as cheap for that team as I've ever seen it.  Still, I'm not going tonight, and I'm hoping he doesn't say he's quitting the sport next year.  And even if he doesn't, I wonder if I'll finally take the time and prepare to see him, probably for the last time, next season, and not push it off and hope he'll still be playing.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

Note: There will be no covering The Minnesota Frost of The PWHL.  Not now, not ever.  Well, first of all, that team won their league championship, and I have a rule that champions are left out of the WMNSS until they finish a season short of winning a championship.  But even if they didn't, I wouldn't cover them because team basically fucked General Manager Natalie Darwitz, who is One Of Us, so we are obligated to be pissed on her behalf.  Add the shitty origin story of the PWHL and the really shitty name and colors of the Frost (they own the name "Minnesota Whitecaps" and refuse to use its brand ... what the fuck?!?!?!), and I want no part of that band of pit vipers.

#0: Wild (Last Week: -6).  OK, so it's very rare that I put a team that lost a Game during the screening Week in the top spot if other teams ran the table the same Week.  By all rights I shouldn't because they started off the Week getting thoroughly handled by The Bastard Atlanta Thrashers, 4-1, at the X on Monday in a clash of 1-vs.-2 (well, tied for 2; at the time, the Wild was tied with The Bastard Colorado Rockies for second place in the NHL).  But wouldn't you know, Minnesota since got hot by beating Buffalo (on the road) and Chicago and Nashville (both at home), all by one Goal, the Win over the Predators coming in Overtime.  Meanwhile, Winnipeg followed up their victory over the Wild with defeats at Los Angeles, Las Vegas and Dallas.

The result is that Minnesota is now tied with Winnipeg for most Points in the league.  And this is the latest the Wild have led (or co-led in this case) the league in Points this far into a season in three Years.  And they started off the screening Week with a Loss?  I am impressed.  And that's why not only do they top the survey, they rise about Negative Numbers as well.

The Week they finish up their three-Game homestand against Vancouver tomorrow/Tuesday night, then go to Southern California to face Anaheim (Friday) and the Kings (Saturday, 22 Hours after they drop the puck with the Ducks the night prior).

#-1: Vikings (Last Week: -4).  For a while there I was afraid they would lose to The Bastard Chicago-by-way-of-St. Louis Cardinals.  Brian Flores decided not to blitz Kyler Murray, but he was still scrambling for big runs and passing judiciously to Trey McBride.  Meanwhile, Sam Darnold got sacked five times and they couldn't convert on Third Down.

Arizona was up by 13, but somehow the complimentary football that has buoyed them through this tougher-than-thought stretch re-awakened.  The Defence was able to bend but not break, and the Offense finally got its mojo going.  Finally, in a tidy but still-affecting redemption arc, Aaron Jones, who had a Fumble early in the Game and couldn't haul in a Touchdown Pass that he laid out for, caught a Pass from Darnold and ran in from short yardage for the Game-winning Touchdown yesterday/Sunday afternoon, 23-22.

I think they're a cut below Detroit, and Philadelphia, which handled The Bastard Cleveland Browns in Baltimore Sunday, has jumped right into the contender picture.  But they are 10-2 through resiliency, and Sunday they host Atlanta and former Vikes Quarterback Kirk Cousins, who threw four Interceptions in their Loss to The Los Angeles Chargers Sunday.  With help, the Vikings can sew up a playoff spot with a victory.  Really??

#-2: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -3).  No, they're not world-beaters.  But the U. lady ballers did win The Big Easy Classic Tournament in New Orleans over Thanksgiving Weekend and convincingly, ripping Houston by 17 Black Friday afternoon and then trouncing Louisiana Saturday afternoon by 20.  Take it seriously or no, but the Golden Gophers are 9-0.  There should be some recognition for that.

Tomorrow/Tuesday night they host North Florida, then they get an amuse bouche of conference play when they travel to Nebraska Sunday.

#-3: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -7).  So the good news is the U. finished on a high note, beating Illinois (away) and Ohio St. (home) in four Sets to end their regular season on a three-Game winning streak.  And they reached the NCAA Tournament again, of course.  Bad news is that they are their Region's 6-Seed, and as such, they will not be hosting any Games at Maturi.  Instead, they go to that Region's 3-Seed, Kentucky, where they are the outlier of the four-team pod playing the First and Second Rounds this weekend.  (For the first two Rounds of the women's volleyball tournament, the first two Rounds are grouped so that as many participants don't have to travel far.  But for variety's sake, many pods have one team that's flying in while the other three can bus it.)  They play Western Kentucky Thursday afternoon.  Win that one and they face either the host Wildcats or Cleveland St.  Assuming it is Kentucky, I don't think Minnesota will advance to the Sweet Sixteen.

#-4: Gopher wrestling (Last Week: -2).  Decupled South Dakota St. in Brookings, 30-3.  The Jackrabbits are ranked, which makes the rout impressive, but Minnesota is ranked higher, so this once again shows how stratified even ranked teams are in college wrestling.

I see what's up next for the grapplers is the Cougar Clash in Edwardsville, Ill., Saturday.  I don't know if it's a tournament because I only see the logo for the host, Southern Illinois-Edwardsville.  So, it's a Dual?

#-5: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -1).  Don't care about the circumstances; you don't lose to a team from Alaska, let alone one that shut itself down during the COVID Year.  And blah-blah-blah about Friday's contest officially being a 1-all Tie; they lost in the Shootout, so the Nanooks beat the Gophers at Mariucci.  They rebounded the next evening with a 5-2 victory, but who cares?  How embarrassing.  Host Michigan for two this weekend.

#-6: Timberwolves (Last Week: -9).  Ever since migrating to Bluesky, a lot of my feed is dominated by Wolves talk, and when I went to their Wednesday Game vs. Sacramento, I can see why so many of them are down on this club.  As I was lounging in my suite next to my friend who invited me, I saw the Wolves start out well in the First Quarter, then play poorly in the Second, giving up inside basket after inside basket.  What the name of Rudy Gobert is going on?  They clogged the paint in the Third to wrest back control and take a double-digit lead.  But for fuck's sake, they were outscored 20-2 in the last five-plus Minutes of the Game to lose, 115-104.  And Anthony Edwards wasn't fucking around after the Loss, saying the team was playing like a bunch of "soft" "front-runners."

That may have spurred them on to hold off The Bastard Buffalo Braves Friday, 93-92, but the Timberwolves squad of a Year ago would've blown those guys out.  (Also, they are now officially eliminated from the NBA Cup Playoffs.  Pffft.)  And because they lost at home to a rapidly-improving Houston club, they remain out of the picture, 11th in the West with a 9-10 record.

They host The Bastard Minneapolis Lakers tonight/Monday night.  (I had plans to exercise, but I need to make it out to one of their Games at one point; I don't know if and when LeBron James decides to retire.)  They are then on the road the rest of the Week, visiting the Clippers and that new Intuit Dome Wednesday, then playing at Golden State Friday and Sunday.

#-7: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -5).  A weird screening Week where they squeezed in a quick tournament between bodybag Games at Williams -- or is it bookending bodybag Games around one of those pre-season tournaments.  Anyway, ignore the team shellacking Bethune-Cookman by 17 yesterday/Sunday afternoon or just getting by Central Michigan, 68-85, Monday.  Instead, look at the results of the ESPN Events Invitational in Orlando.  This club surrendered a Game-tying Three at the buzzer and eventually lost to Wichita St. in Overtime Thanksgiving afternoon, 68-66, then coughed up a 29-27 Halftime lead and lost Black Friday afternoon, 57-51, to Wake Forest.

Will these Gophers beat someone from a BcS conference?  We'll find out now because the annual weekly hors d'oeuvres of conference Games in December is upon us.  They host Michigan St. Wednesday.

#-Infinity: Gopher football (OOPS!!).  I forgot to include them in last Week's survey after their Loss to Penn St. last Saturday.  (I mentioned that I wrote about a record-breaking [maybe] 11 teams in last screening Week's WMNSS when it should have been a 12.)  They had a bye before their Penn St. Game, at home, and by God, they were in it for most of it.  (I still believe that the Nittany Lions, who probably are ranked third in the country and will face Oregon in the B1G Championship Game Saturday, aren't that good; they barely escaped with the Win over my alma mater, and we are terrible.)  In fact, they led them at Halftime and pushed the lead to 22-16 in the Third Quarter before Penn St. pulled ahead.  The Gophers responded with a Field Goal to cut the deficit to 26-25, but they just couldn't make a stop in the Nittany Lions' final drive, converting off a fake Punt and sealing the tilt with a Pass from a broken play near the Gophers' Goal Line for a First Down.

That close defeat probably is a sign that this squad has some talent and are able to beat inferior clubs.  That includes Wisconsin, whom they humiliated in Madison Saturday, 24-7, in order to grab back Paul Bunyan's Axe.  So the U. finishes 7-5 -- still pretty mediocre, but hey, at least that's a better record than my alma mater.  And given the lowered expectations, they lived up to their current reputation as a middle-of-the-road Big Ten outfit who can't beat the teams above them but can beat the ones below them (well, besides Rutgers, their annual Game They Should've Won But Lost).  Is that enough to keep P. J. Fleck around?  Yes.  Consider the low of the season was the ass-kicking they took at home versus Iowa, the turnaround, capped by a rivalry Win, means a lot.  That might not assuage those tired of Fleck's act.  Those people will have to hope he decides to move on.

Addendum To: Thought My Car Was Breaking Down, But Then ...

Yeah, car and key fob worked just fine to and from the Vikings Game.  Thought I would switch it to the other key fob, the one that I hadn't used.  Big mistake: I put in the (correct) battery, thought it would work fine, pressed the button and ... nothing.  Pressed it again ... and the car alarm went off.  And it took two tries to start the car in order to turn off the alarm.

So, through all the crap I went through, part of my worries seem to be real.  I no longer believe that spare key fob works at all.  And I no longer have any margin for error in case the one I have stops working.  So, I need to buy a spare.  Hopefully that one will work.

Thought My Car Was Breaking Down, But Then ...

So I had to change the battery in my car key fob Friday.  Got into my car in the morning, saw the "BATT" warning on the dash, and decided to risk driving to work, Rosedale (although I didn't go; it was crazy on Black Friday), the bank and the gas station.  (No problem; the warning came on each time, but the car started just fine.)  Switched out the flat, circular battery, and I thought all was well.

Well, not quite -- and in more ways than one.  I had to go to my alma mater's Game-watching event even though I had to bug out at Halftime to go back home and take my parents to the airport.  When I was parking my car at the lot close to the bar, my dashboard suddenly flashed a "NO KEY" sign.  I was kind of freaking out, but I switched fobs, and the one I got went through its last battery really quickly, so I think it's not good.

I thought that was the reason for that warning, so I wasn't really worried when I finally decided to leave.  But when I tried to open the door, I didn't hear anything.  I had to literally take it apart for it to finally work.  So, I concluded that the fob was so bad that I had to now use the one I switched out, and use it from now on.

But that didn't work, either.  As I started the car in the driveway, the damn "NO KEY" warning flashed again.  I turned off the car and tried to start it again, but it wouldn't work.  I ran back inside the house to switch the fobs back (I concluded I should do this, but I didn't) and there was no sign.  But after I dropped off my parents at the terminal, I tried using the fob to lock the doors at both Jimmy John's and the Mall Of America, but it wouldn't respond.  I could do the thing where I could open the door if I grabbed the handle, but I couldn't do anything if I wasn't close.  When I got the OK by Mother to leave because they boarded their plane (which was delayed by 80 minutes), I just pulled the fob apart.  I hit the button, and the doors opened, and the car started just fine.

While I was just walking around the Megamall, my mind was racing with what could be going on.  There were two commonalities between the two fobs I tried to use.  One commonality was the battery, which I kept switching between the fobs.  The other was, well, the car.  There is the possibility that the car was going haywire.  And that thought terrified me all night.  Meanwhile, I also was afraid that somehow, both fobs just failed at the same time, and I had to buy a new one.  Last week, I tried starting the car, but it wouldn't.  At the time I thought it was because the fob was in the same pocket as my phone, but with what happened Friday and yesterday, a pattern was emerging that the fob (or fobs) wasn't (or weren't) working.  I got more evidence for that theory when I got home, tried to close the doors using the button, and it once again wouldn't work.  And then I accidentally set off the car alarm.  I was able to open the door and start the car (to stop the alarm) with the battery in the fob, but only if I put the fob right up to the ignition button.

Now I'm freaking out.  But I had only final play before I had to take drastic measures in order to prepare for the Vikings Game and my (abbreviated) work week.  I decided to use the other disc battery we had.  This is an Energizer battery, and it was a package I bought.  When I took it out of its blister, I immediately saw a difference, and probably the difference: This battery was thicker, way thicker, than the battery I was trying to use.  That's when I realized they're not the same kind of battery.  The one I first used came from a package Father bought.  It's not a company I'm familiar with, and I also had a fleeting thought that a bad battery was the cause for all of this.  But it turns out, or at least I hope to Buddha that this is the reason, that the first battery was too thin to reach all the contacts inside the fobs, and that's why the car couldn't detect the fob inside the car.  I popped the Energizer battery in its place, and I could open and close the doors to the car from the front door just fine.

All that anxiety, stress and worry, and it was because of the wrong type of battery.  I'm sure everything's fine now, but my body is still reeling from the trauma, dammit.