Positive Numbers: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: -1). Minnesota-Duluth wasn't the championship-winning juggernaut they were 10-5 Years ago -- that's what happens when you fire the Head Coach who lead you to five titles, then settle her discrimination lawsuit. Still, they were ranked in the Top 10 (at least according to USCHO.com) when the Gophers travelled up to Duluth for a weekend series ... and they are still ranked in the Top 10 despite the U. sweeping both Games. More impressive was the first Game Friday, where the Bulldogs skated out to a 2-0 lead before the Gophers struck four times to win.
The Golden Gophers remain third in the USCHO.com rankings. Wisconsin is first, but they have only played twice, splitting a series with Ohio St., the team that has given the Gophs their only loss. Ranked second is Northeastern, who still hasn't played. Guessing they had scheduled contests postponed or cancelled. That's 2020 and COVID-19 for you.
As much fervor you can whip up amongst a fanbase not allowed to see their team in-person, this weekend brings an early-season Series Of The Year. The #1 Badgers come to Ridder Arena for a series Friday and Saturday.
#0: Gopher men's basketball (Re-Entry!). As I said on last Week's survey, while non-revenue-generating sports like volleyball and soccer have their season delayed until the spring, sports bringing in the money to the NCAA will start on time, come hell or high water. College football is soldiering on; they've having slews of Games getting canceled or postponed every week (see below), yet at the end of this all, I know some officials are going to say they did a great job keeping the entire enterprise afloat. And men's college basketball began last Wednesday, even though there have been many contests each day that have been postponed or canceled.
Under that sorry context, the Gopher men's b-ball team has begun their season (with a hastily arranged menageries of non-conference foes) 3-0. They began the season last Wednesday by crushing Wisconsin-Green Bay by 30. Then then hosted Loyola Marymount for something I have never seen before in any level of basketball: A quasi-series. The Lions played at Williams Arena Saturday (and lost, 88-73), stayed in town, then played the Golden Gophers against Monday night. This Game was a lot tighter: It took a Three-Pointer by Marcus Carr with 2.7 Seconds left to put away LMU, 67-64.
How good is this Year's team supposed to be? Who knows? But this team was in all likelihood staying home for the postseason, so in that sense, the pandemic shutting down everything was a blessing in disguise. Add that there are no crowds to intensify any pressure that could come from a loss, Richard Pitino could see crisis in opportunity.
It has to be great to be a BcS school; whenever you put together a non-con, especially in a once-in-a-century pandemic, nearly all the Games are at home. And so it is this week, where the U. plays North Dakota Friday and, in their only marquee matchup in their non-con (as directed by the Big Ten/ACC Challenge), they welcome Boston College Tuesday.
#-1: United FC (Last Week: Positive Numbers). They're not playing their Quarterfinal Match this screening week. But I want to put them here, and this high, because of a unique opportunity? That opportunity? The Loons' Western Conference Semifinal/Major League Soccer Playoff Quarterfinal at Sporting Kansas City was moved from tonight/Wednesday night to tomorrow/Thursday night ... and it goes from being broadcast on Fox Sports 1 to Big Fox, aka Free Fox, aka over-the-air Fox, aka Channel 9 (relevant to the Twin Cities).
The reason the boilerplate release gave as the reason for the moves -- "The shift in scheduling was not related to COVID-19," and no further explanation -- so underplays what I think the circumstances are that resulted in this change that I would consider it misleading. Fox is the main network that broadcasts most Thursday Night Football (as in American/gridiron football). Thursday they were supposed to air a Game between The Bastard Cleveland Browns and the Dallas Cowboys, but that was moved to Tuesday. Why was that contest moved? The Ravens' previous Game, against the Pittsburgh Steelers, is being played tonight/Wednesday night ... after it was moved from last/Tuesday night ... after it was moved from Sunday night ... after it was moved from its original Thanksgiving night slot. Why has this Game been moved so often? Because the Bastard Browns have had an all-out outbreak of the coronavirus, and it was so bad that the National Football League was forced to move the Game not once, not twice, but thrice. So the shift in scheduling was not directly related to COVID-19, but sure as fuck was indirectly related to COVID-19.
So now, Fox has a huge programming hole on Thursday night. Now I would have thought they would have filled it with back-to-back episodes of The Masked Singer, ick. But someone in programming had a clever idea: Why not replace football with futbol? And so Fox called MLS about this idea, and MLS said yes. It may be an inspired idea with nothing but upside for the league; sports fans still seeking a fix may still tune in to Fox at 7 Central and see what may be the first primetime MLS Game ever to be broadcast over-the-air during the workweek.
And that the Match is between two Midwestern teams and have absolutely nothing to do with the glamour clubs makes this an opportunity that might never come again. So MNUFC is getting moved into the spotlight. Could casual fans, and especially casual Twin Cities fans, adjust their rabbit ears and tune in? If so, the XI should give a show to make themselves look good. And hell, why not win while they're at it?
To the bad, SKC has announced that the squad's talisman, Alan Pulido, is now healthy enough to appear in the Quarterfinal, if not to start it. Would he be available if they played tonight/Wednesday night? United FC should show off their Front Four (Lod, Molino, Reynoso, Finlay) and quadruple SKC's fire.
#-2: Vikings (Last Week: -4). Didn't work the Game. Probably for the best, even if the Vikes pulled out a 28-27 victory over Carolina.
I heard most of it on the radio while filling in at my normal job. They followed up that turd of a loss to Dallas the previous Sunday with another inexplicable performance against a similarly mediocre club. They were leading at halftime until the ViQueens fumbled on back-to-back plays (first courtesy of Kirk Cousins, the second from Dalvin Cook), both of which were picked up by the Panthers' Jeremy Chinn and run into the end zone for Touchdowns. (I don't know if it has been confirmed that Chinn is the first defensive player to ever score TDs on back-to-back plays from scrimmage, but I'm sure it is.) That gave Carolina the lead, and that made me think that the Vikes weren't coming back to win this.
I was in the bathroom after work and on my way to starting my car to head over to the car wash when the other Turnover happened, that being Chad Beebe muffing a punt that was recovered by the Panthers. I would have either cried or crashed my car if I heard that muff. Maybe both. For sure I would have changed the station to something lighter, like heavy metal.
But as inept as the Vikings played, for some goddamn reason, for that short drive, the Panthers out-stupided them. Head Coach Matt Ruhle (he turned around Baylor, so he's a smart guy) and Offensive Coordinator Joe Brady (he was the OC for LSU last Year -- he piloted a high-octane Offense around Quarterback Joe Burrow all the way to the College Football Playoff Championship)were stymied because the First Down run was stopped due to the Two-Minute Warning and the Second Down run was stopped by the Vikings taking their final Time out. But Brady and Ruhle had Teddy Bridgewater (God bless him) throw on Third Down, incomplete. They were in Field Goal range with the muff, and in Field Goal range they stayed; Carolina started the drive on the Minnesota 9 and got stuck at the 3. Panthers Kicker Joey Slye kicked the Field Goal, extending a three-Point lead to six with 111 Seconds left.
That was too much time for Comeback Kid Kirk Cousins to spin his magic. (Yeah, I can't believe I typed that either.) He led (and I mean that) the Vikings down the usual 75 in only 65 Seconds. On the seventh and final play of the drive, he found -- glorious! -- Chad Beebe for a redemptive go-ahead Touchdown throw and Point After. Still, the Vikes gave the Panthers 46 Seconds on the clock, and that was more than ample time for Bridgewater to slice through the shit-ass Vikes D for 51 Yards in only 37 Seconds. Unfortunately for Slye, he hooked what should have been the Game-winning 54-Yard FG wide left, and Vikings kept their postseason hopes alive, albeit flickering.
But let it be stated that the Minnesota Vikings deserved to lose this Game. Paul Allen, the homer Voice Of The Vikings, was in rare form in stating precisely that. I have never experienced a Vikings win this boring and undeserved. They pulled a miracle of their asses and still the Defense was about to piss it all away. Now, I think that their next opponent, the one-win Jacksonville Jaguars, are a magnitude worse than Carolina. I will be working that contest and expecting a Vikes victory. But after that sludgy shitshow Sunday, you can't be sure.
#-3: Saints (Re-Entry!). There hasn't been any minor league baseball in 2020. But you know why I'm putting the St. Paul Saints here? Do you know what's happening to Minor League Baseball?
In what I consider a bombshell, in late 2019 Major League Baseball decided to blow up their relationship with Minor League Baseball and, because they are MLB, unilaterally and dramatically rearrange, realign, and release teams and leagues. The details remain murky, but 40 Minor League Baseball teams would lose their affiliation (basically a contract stating this team will serve as a Minor League team for a particular Major League team), three entire leagues would become unaffiliated, and all Major League teams would be mandated to have only four Minor League affiliates, not counting all the players and teams they would have in their Year-round spring training sites in Florida and Arizona.
The reasons MLB states to blow up Minor League Baseball as we know it are to finally address ongoing problems with both decrepit facilities owned and operated by minor league teams and the slave wages Minor Leaguers get paid. There also is this "One Baseball" masterplan afoot, whereby MLB influences, if not controls, all levels and aspects of the sport, and I think they mean to reach down to colleges and even Little League to deploy their ideas. However, I think the real reason they're doing it is the reason most things are done: Money. The analytics explosion has warped Major League Baseball into obsessing over ideas like "efficiency," and "bang for your buck." And MLB has come around to the idea that they don't need as many teams, and players, around to evaluate which of them has the best chance of making The Show. So why not throw them away? The Short-Season Appalachian, Pioneer and New York-Penn Leagues, even though MLB says they want to "partner" with them in a different way, are about to die a rapid death due to their de-affiliation. (Note that the now disgraced ex-front office members of the Houston Astros, who took Oakland's "Moneyball" aesthetic and shot it up with steroids, was the main organization driving MLB into blowing up their traditional compacts with the minors.)
What do the Saints have to do with this? One of the ways MLB is trying to cut costs is to regionalize each squad's minor league affiliation tree. Their longtime AAA club, the longstanding and professionally run Rochester Red Wings, was in upstate New York. Too far. Now, although Major League Baseball is trying to run off 40 Minor League franchises, an initial plan by MLB had three successful independent squads get folded into Major League Baseball. They are based in Somerset, N. J.; Sugar Land, Tex.; and ... St. Paul, Minn.
I heard about the particular plan for the Saints to become the new AAA affiliate of the Minnesota Twins over the spring. Once, for lunch, during the time when I was only working part-time, I caught an interview on The Common Man Progrum where Dan Cole was speaking with Mike Veeck, co-Owner of the Saints and son of legendary baseball Owner and promoter Bill Veeck. He heard about the plan, even though I don't think he said whether the Twins or MLB contacted him about affiliating. He had one big hang-up over this deal: $20 million would need to be paid for the Saints to become the Twins' affiliate. To Veeck, that doesn't make affiliation such a good deal.
Doesn't sound right to me, either. I mean, the Saints are a moneymaker, no doubt. But $20 million still is a hell of a lot of money to fork over just to get the imprimatur of the local big league ballclub. And yet, it is widely expected that some time this week -- maybe even later today -- as part of the unveiling of the whole new minor-league setup, the Saints will officially become the AAA affiliate of the Minnesota Twins.
And that's a mistake. Besides the money, I think the idea of having two different baseball teams, at two different levels, neither affiliated in any way with the other, is a good thing. Just like Minneapolis and St. Paul often like to lead separate lives, there was nothing parasitic about the Twins doing their own thing on one side of the river and the Saints living life in the other. The synergy doesn't seem to be necessary. I don't know if it's a plus, either; I can easily believe that if the Twins organization goes south, the fortunes of the Saints will go south, too. I cannot explicate it, but the Saints have always had their own identity, and now they have decided to be subsumed by a bigger organization. They are not the "Fun Is Good" St. Paul Saints anymore. They are now a cog in the Major League Baseball machine, and they will now ask how high when the Twinks tell them to jump. That's not a good thing.
#-4: Gopher football (Last Week: -3). I prefer not talking about a team if they're not playing, but hey, 2020 rears its ugly fucking head again. Plus, I have to talk about a team if said team cancels a second consecutive Game, which these guys did, this Saturday at home to Northwestern.
Like last week's tradition-breaking cancellation, this is due to the coronavirus spreading from the Goofers camp. But it's huge, if not unprecedented. At last count, there are 47 positive cases from players and staff of the University of Minnesota football program. Forty-fucking-seven. I could be wrong, but I don't think any other sports organization in any league based in America has had that many infections. That isn't just an outbreak; that's a pandemic within a pandemic. The NCAA penalizes schools and athletic departments for "lack of institutional control"; well, fuck, this is it. And once again it's the U. who has failed to control the spread of the 'Rona and therefore they are the reason a Game is cancelled.
I don't care how contagious this is. Many people have dropped the ball over there. And back-to-back cancellations is a shameful consequence of too many people not doing their fucking jobs. What's going on over there is a shitshow. No other way to describe it.
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