Wednesday, December 9, 2020

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#0: Gopher men's hockey (Re-Entry!).  I have been to Gopher men's hockey Games in the past, oh, few Years, and it's been sad to see more and more empty seats in a spectacular and grand edifice like Mariucci Arena.  You can blame The Big Realignment for severing many longstanding rivalries (when it's time to write the historical corrective on men's top-flight college hockey, Terry Pegula's decision to invest his fortune into creating a varsity Penn St. men's hockey team may be considered the most important event in sport), but keeping attendance largely comes down to winning, and lately, Minnesota has not been doing that.

So it's kind of sad that they can't even play in front crowds, at least not right now, and maybe this program has been so bad for so long people have not paid attention.  But with last/Tuesday night's 3-1 win over Michigan in Ann Arbor, Minnesota remains undefeated at 7-0 ... and all those are conference victories.  In fact, according to a statistics I heard during the radio broadcast, this squad has yet even trail this season.  Yep -- 420 total Minutes of game time, they have not been behind for even a Second.  That is very impressive, and that is why not only do these guys take the top spot, I feel as though I can give them a nudge over negative numbers.

One more Game for the currently-fourth-ranked (at least according to USCHO) Gophers against the currently-fifth ranked Wolverines tonight/Wednesday evening.  And then ... well, then we don't know.  Only this part of the schedule, through the end of this godforsaken Year, had been announced.  Conferences seem to be waiting for the pandemic environment and any make-up Games that need to be rescheduled from the first part of the season before they map out the next phase.  Smart.  And in the meantime, if they win tonight, that will keep their perfect record embossed in amber for a while.

#-1: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: 0).  Kudos to the male U. ballers for they are 5-0.  Getting to that record has been touch-and-go, however.  I don't know how good North Dakota's supposed to be, but the Gophers mustered only a nine-Point victory over the Fighting Hawks at The Barn Friday.  In their (so far) only non-conference matchup versus a fellow BcS school, last/Tuesday night they were taken to Overtime before they beat Boston College (also at home), 85-80.  Early in the Second Half, the Eagles led Minnesota by 15.  Gritty is good, so long as you win.  But I now believe style points is a measure of how good you are over your opponent.  And this is a far-from-perfect outfit.

The team's sixth and final home Game to start this season is tomorrow/Thursday night against Missouri-Kansas City.  They then kick off Big Ten play Tuesday at Illinois ... which is ranked in the Top 5 and beat Duke last/Tuesday night at Cameron Indoor.

#-2: Vikings (Last Week: -2).  I had a perfect view of the field and thus the Game for work Sunday (yeah, club seats are fucking awesome, for the vantage point and for the luxury studio setup each suite has -- if you ever tour a stadium, do so for the club suites).  And I thus was witness to maybe the worst win in Vikings history, a sloppy, turgid, hardscrabble affair in putting away a one-win Jacksonville Jaguars franchise whose starters (save for James Robinson) would be bench players on other NFL teams.

There were players and moments of greatness from the Vikes.  Once again, oft-maligned Kirk Cousins played very well.  Justin Jefferson is a keeper.  And one could see maturation from the Cornerbacks and Secondary when picking off easy throws from Jacksonville Quarterback/journeyman Mike Glennon.  But for all the sublime plays, there were too many stupid plays.  The fumbles.  The bad Pick-Six to start the Second Half.  The Defense not waking up before Jacksonville put up nine Points in the First Quarter.  Dan Bailey missing not one but two Points After, as well as a Field Goal late that could have iced the Game.

And speaking of that missed FG, we have to talk about Mike Zimmer's decision-making.  That FG was from more than 50 Yards.  With that miss, the ball was spotted at the Jaguar 41, and there was enough time at the end of regulation for Jacksonville to march down the field and kick a Game-winning Field Goal.  Which they sort-of did; luckily for the Vikes, a 61-Yard FG try was short.

The Game-ending FG in OT was made after Zimmer initially brought the FG unit in on Second Down and with the ball at the JAX 2, then yanked Bailey & co. and brought the Offense back on the field.  Neither unit played well on Sunday, but the flip-flopping during this sequence leads even more credence to the belief Zimmer has made some bad decisions.  After Bailey's chippie went in, nobody on the Vikes' side was celebrating.  There were muted handslaps and hand-shaking, but I feel as though they felt that what they just did, winning this Game, was an injustice against football and nature.

And they're right.  We were looking at this three-Game stretch, all at home, and thinking the Vikings would slingshot their way into a playoff spot and maybe round into contender form.  Instead, they lost to an execrable Dallas Cowboys club, then, frankly, got extremely lucky in victories over Carolina and the Jags.  The only good news is that, somehow, if the season were to end right now, the Vikings would be in the playoffs.  That's a hell of a climb to get out of a 1-5 hole.  But no one -- not Vikings players, let alone Vikings fans -- thinks that club has solved all its problems or is building momentum.  Besides, they have a relatively stiff last quartet of Games, starting Sunday when they visit Tom Brady and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.  Everyone is thinking the Vikes could backslide out of a playoff spot with a loss there.  And most would think it would be fitting.

#-3: Gopher women's basketball (Re-Entry!).  I wasn't sure women's college basketball was not going to be pushed into the New Year, but they're not.  Still, it was delayed to the point where I finally wondered, "So, are they going to play now, or later?"

This Gophers squad, unfortunately, is one of a litany of squads dealing with COVID-19 issues.  Lindsay Whalen's group has been hit so hard that they went into their season-opening contest vs. Eastern Illinois on Wednesday with only seven players.  And, somehow, they outlasted the Panthers, 72-68.  Unfortunately, despite getting an eighth player out from protocol (Freshman Guard Caroline Strande), the Gophs got decimated Sunday afternoon by Drake (which was played, like the tilt against Eastern Illinois, at Williams Arena), 99-66.

That Bulldogs ass-kicking is scary.  You could blame depth issues for the loss, but a 33-Point defeat?  And this is where it's fair to start worrying about the current direction of the team under Whalen, a program and state legend.  The team simply isn't progressing in Whalen's third Year, where good programs are locked into good recruits, good development and good results.  We'll see what unfolds for the Golden Gophers now that they're entering conference play after a quick non-con schedule; they are slated to host Michigan St. tonight/Wednesday night and visit Northwestern Monday.  Neither Games are gimmes.  If the U. ends up dropping both, mumblings about how a recently-retired player was immediately given a BcS team to coach with no prior experience will resurface -- and rightly so.

#-Infinity: United FC (Last Week: -1).  You know, I was going to be OK if the Loons lost in the Western Conference Final to Seattle Monday night.  That's because on Thursday night, shoved into a national, broadcast spotlight ceded by Thursday Night Football, MNUFC marched into Kansas City, a city where they have historically not played well (even in its second-division days) and not only upset but crushed Sporting Kansas City, 3-0, largely on the strength of wunderkind Emmanuel "Bebelo" Reynoso, who assisted in all three tallies.  Winning on the road when you're not expected to is something that at least feels few and far between when it comes to Twin Cities teams, so this was an overwhelmingly positive surprise.  Not only did I hope the side got some pub for their shock pummeling, I really, really started to believe that United FC could reach MLS Cup ... and maybe even win it.

And then I remembered who I am, and where I live.

They took a 2-0 lead late into the Second Half against the Sounders.  Seattle had tied it up at 1-all, but Video Assistant Referee wiped it out because of a Sounders foul.  And while I was starting to get all giggly and wet inside with about 20 Minutes left to go, I am a damned Minnesota sports fan, and I remember Vikings '98, and 41-0 ... and the Twinks losing a North American-record 19 playoff Games in a row ... and Year after Year of regular season ineptitude ... and the North Stars being stolen from us ... and that goddamned Gopher football Game where they blew the lead and lost to Michigan ... and no championships for Minnesota in The Big 4 since 1991.  And then Seattle scored one.  And then then Sounders tied it up.  And that's when I turned off the radio.  Because I knew what was going to happen.  And it did.  They didn't even get it to Extra Time.

Maybe I will feel differently at the start of next season, or even tomorrow.  But I refuse to look on the bright side.  These motherfuckers held a 2-0 lead.  It doesn't fucking matter that the Loons are on the road or that the Sounders have reached MLS Cup four of the last five seasons.  There is no acceptable goddamn reason a professional team who think they can win a title should blow a 2-0 lead.  Where was the marking on that Match-winning Goal?  Why in the fuck did Adrian Heath not use all his substitutions?  Most importantly of all -- why the fuck did you all choke?

I can find one silver lining with this collapse, even though it is perverse.  By losing this way, the Loons have flown home.  By losing this way, Minnesota United has proven they truly are a Minnesota sports team.

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