The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#-1: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -2).  First of all, I have to notice this: Even being Christmas Week, this is a short list for a survey this time of year.  We would have the Timberwolves and Wild going full bore, and the pandemic has affected the start of their 2020-1 seasons.  So we have only three options this screening week, and overall, it's a down week.

Well, except for one obvious, uh, exception.  In their final non-conference Game of the Year (at least for now), the Gophers defeated a pretty good, and then undefeated, Saint Louis team Sunday night at Williams.  Three things stand out in the Gophers' 90-82 win:

1. The difference in Three-Point makes, and attempts, between the two schools was lopsided: 10-for-25 for the U., 2-for-15 for the Billikens.  Ten more shots and 24 more Points from the arc?
2. The Free Throw disparity was even more ridiculous: 12-of-17 for SLU, 34-of-41 for the Gophs.  Twenty-four more attempts from the charity stripe, and 22 more Points?
3. Redshirt Junior Marcus Carr went off for 32, his fifth Game this season where he's scored at least 20 Points.

Just took a look at Joey Brackets' Bracketology at ESPN.com for the first time just now.  He has the Gophs as one of the first (actually Last) Four Out.  That victory over the Bills might come in handy, because this squad now has to face a gauntlet that I have not seen on a schedule for any Twin Cities team, college or pro, as far as I can recall.  Their next seven Games are against five Big Ten schools that are all ranked.  At least they begin at home (not that it matters -- there are no fans and I don't think Minnesota has a chance of winning any of these Games) for this upcoming week vs. Iowa Christmas Night and Michigan St. Monday night.

#-2: Vikings (Last Week: -3).  The Vikes were the conventional home team three-Point favorite, and yet I was as certain as Unforgivable Wetness is my Internet name that they were going to lose.  The Chicago Bears have given them fits for as long as I can remember, the Bears were playing well, and the house of cards surrounding the ViQueens finally fell around them in the loss to Tampa Bay.  They were damn lucky to beat Carolina and Jacksonville; even up against a club that didn't get their shit together until recently, Minnesota simply was no match, and the home loss was bigger than the 33-27 loss indicates.

This edition stands out for how each unit seemed to have taken turns in sucking in each loss.  This time around it's an area that I, frankly, have never seen blow as much as they did Sunday: The Defensive Line.  The era of Doleman, Randle, Millard, the Williams Wall, Allen, and Griffen has been nowhere to be seen this season, to be honest, and it was non-existent Sunday, where David Montgomery ran for a career high 146 Yards and two Touchdowns.  The D-Line did not sack Chicago Quarterback Mitchell Trubisky once; Linebacker (and backup to Eric Kendricks, whose absence has blown a hole through this Defense) Todd Davis did.  Yannick Ngouke, who was traded to The Bastard Cleveland Browns six Games after getting traded here from Jacksonville, still leads the team in Sacks.  The complete inability to stop the run nor pass rush is becoming an embarrassment to this club.

You can say that the delayed arrival of Michael Pierce (the run-stuffing Defensive Tackle taking the Year off due to COVID worries) and the possible return of Danielle Hunter will make that unit better next Year.  But the question now becomes whether Mike Zimmer gets to return next Year.  Each defeat gives more evidence that he shouldn't, but I'm still trying to give Zim a mulligan because of the craziness of this Year.  Note that Zygi Wilf has had four Head Coaches since he bought the Vikings.  The first three -- Mike Tice (whom he inherited), Brad Childress and Leslie Frazier -- Wilf fired the Year after Minnesota made the playoffs.  Be forewarned, Zim.

The Vikings can still make the playoffs if: They win their remaining two Games; The Bastard Chicago-By-Way-Of-St. Louis Cardinals lose their remaining two; and Chicago loses of one of its last two.  The Minnesota Vikings kick off Week 16 of the NFL schedule playing the Saints in New Orleans Christmas afternoon.  The Minnesota Vikings will be eliminated from the postseason Christmas afternoon.  What a fucking present, eh?

#-3Infinity: Gopher football (Last Week: -1).  Once again, I'm just glad that the B1G decided to reschedule the battle for Paul Bunyan's Axe after the Nov. 28 Game was canceled.  It would have remained as the oldest rivalry in top-flight college football, but not playing this Year would have broken a streak of these two big universities playing each other since 1907.  That is important enough to preserve that the conference decided to break their promise of pairing up all the West and East teams not in the conference championship Game on Saturday and make sure these two teams played.

Under that historic context, I didn't really mind that the U. ended up under .500 for this crazy-ass 2020 season after losing to the Badgers 20-17 in Overtime.  It sucks that the Kicker for the Goofers, Anders Gelecinskyj, couldn't hit a 36-Yard Field Goal in the U.'s drive in OT.  That miss bookends the season; I went back to see if Gelecinskyj was also the student-athlete who missed the Point After Touchdown in Overtime in the U.'s loss to Maryland on October 30.  He is not -- Brock Walker missed that one.

So, probably to not go through the grind of getting tested and isolated themselves in order to schlepp down to Nashville and play the Music City Bowl again in program history but also to show some self-goddamn-respect, P. J. Fleck & Co. decided to just end their season.  Good thing; bowls are bullshit anyway (even though Fleck and the coaching staff surely will make up for passing up bonuses for getting into shitty bowls by getting paid double if they reach one next season).  But remember the high this team was on after they beat Penn St., and dreams of heading to the Rose Bowl (a non-shitty bowl) actually seemed plausible?  You can chalk this Year up to COVID-19, but yeah, that was a long, looooooooooooooooooong Year ago.