Many years ago, before my car reached middle age, I had this sudden lightning storm that, "Hey, I should make sure I know how much mileage my car gets." And so, over the course of a few full fill-ups (if I only partially filled up I didn't count those) I would make sure I reset the odometer so I would know how many miles my car went so I could divide that by the number of gallons it took to re-fill my automobile.
Uncannily, the same quotient came up, time and time again: 20. So my car gets 20 miles to the gallon. Well, it got. Once my car reached middle age, that number wavered. I think I first noticed it when I did the division in the winter and it went way down. But I don't know if that was due to the car getting older, something wrong with it, or something I didn't know at the time: Winter gasoline being less fuel-efficient than in the summer. I have long since disregarded that idea because I remember running the numbers all throughout the year, and the car still got 20 mpg regardless. But ever since, my car has, overall, had worse mileage in the winter than in the summer. Sometimes much more so; the teens, the worst, I think, being only 15 miles per gallon.
Hallelujah, then, for the past couple of cycles. I have had good days (usually in the warmer months) where my mileage rebounds to "normal" and then some. Hadn't had that for a while, but the past two times I've done the computations I have had (I think) 21.5 and then, today, 21.8. That is well short of the record; I believe I hit 25 one time. But I'll still take it.
This, of course, coincides with my long trip to the test scoring place (by the way, the car has not acted up since Monday morning, touch wood). Meanwhile, I have tabulated mileage the past couple winters when I worked at the flu biller place, which was much, much closer, and it was much, much worse. How can driving less than half as long to one place of employment to another yield a much worse mileage? The answer, I have learned, is fairly obvious: My car, any car, burns a lot less fuel moving at the same speed, and you are buckin' if that speed is highway speed. So that brings up the (somewhat) irony that you are saving more gas if you travel farther, provided that you travel on the highway, and not some side street, to get to work.
That isn't going to happen anymore, at least for the next two weeks. The project I was working on finished today, and unless I get something quick, I am done until Tax Day. That should mean I should drive to places closer to home. Then again, with the way the mileage is working out, maybe I should instead drive a hell of a lot farther away from home.
At any rate, the traditional mileage for my car is 20 miles per gallon.
Tuesday, March 31, 2015
Monday, March 30, 2015
Two Parking Lot Motherfuckers Tried To Stare Me Down
Was at a Buffalo Wild Wings last night. Wanted to go out after work because I knew My Fucking Father would get on me all, "Why don't you do something after dinner like work out?" Well, I'll go out, if only to see Nebraska-Omaha play RIT in the men's hockey tournament. (I'd prefer the men's basketball tournament games be played Sunday evening, but that hasn't ever happened in my lifetime, so maybe that's a pipe dream.) But to get my "exercise" in, I'll park at the Target and walk over.
Coming back I was obsessed with whether my car was going to work properly. Well, I still am obsessed. And I guess I'm not just worried about the stalling, but also the temperature gauge, in case it overheats. I was so obsessed with that gauge that that was the first thing I was looking at when I pulled out of my spot -- and almost into a car coming from the left. Hell, I didn't see him because there was a parked car on my left.
The bad thing about driving at slow speeds in a lot on a Sunday night? You can see the faces of the drivers of the cars you almost hit. The guy looked at my blankly, but I could tell he wanted to come after me. Well, fuck you, it's a Sunday, what are you doing here? So I let him through. And then, momentarily ceasing my obsession with the car, I went again ... only to fucking stop when another car, coming from the right, was also about to hit me. How the fuck are two people coming down the same fucking parking lane at a goddamn Target on a motherfuckin' Sunday night?
And then this guy's face, hoo-boy, that look of incredulity as he walked by me. You're looking at me like I don't know what I'm doing? Maybe you should stop because I had already stopped once. Maybe you're the one at fault, asshole.
If I can see their faces, they saw mine. Oh, great -- now I have to worry about seeing them around town again because they might want to start a fight. Don't threaten me, motherfuckers, I have a shitty car and a pre-diabetic pancreas.
Coming back I was obsessed with whether my car was going to work properly. Well, I still am obsessed. And I guess I'm not just worried about the stalling, but also the temperature gauge, in case it overheats. I was so obsessed with that gauge that that was the first thing I was looking at when I pulled out of my spot -- and almost into a car coming from the left. Hell, I didn't see him because there was a parked car on my left.
The bad thing about driving at slow speeds in a lot on a Sunday night? You can see the faces of the drivers of the cars you almost hit. The guy looked at my blankly, but I could tell he wanted to come after me. Well, fuck you, it's a Sunday, what are you doing here? So I let him through. And then, momentarily ceasing my obsession with the car, I went again ... only to fucking stop when another car, coming from the right, was also about to hit me. How the fuck are two people coming down the same fucking parking lane at a goddamn Target on a motherfuckin' Sunday night?
And then this guy's face, hoo-boy, that look of incredulity as he walked by me. You're looking at me like I don't know what I'm doing? Maybe you should stop because I had already stopped once. Maybe you're the one at fault, asshole.
If I can see their faces, they saw mine. Oh, great -- now I have to worry about seeing them around town again because they might want to start a fight. Don't threaten me, motherfuckers, I have a shitty car and a pre-diabetic pancreas.
Sunday, March 29, 2015
"I'm Interested In Learning More"
You're interested in learning more?! What in the hell does that mean?! Weren't you there at last year's party, where you could tell I was ignored, undermined, and utterly humiliated at an event I ostensibly ran? What more do you need to learn, besides I need you to just do this for me?
At last year's party, she volunteered to host the next one. So did the person hosting this party, but, uh, she was first? I didn't think much of it at the time because it was a year away and frankly, I didn't want to think about it. But unfortunately time marches on, no matter whether we want it to or not, and it's almost April, so after some weeks of thinking about it, I finally thought I had to reach out to her by now, even if Instant Message via Facebook sort of isn't professional.
And so she comes back with, "I'm interested in learning more." Well, shit, so am I. Because after last year's abortion of event planning (though not the event itself), I have no idea what the fuck I'm supposed to do, therefore I don't know what the fuck she's supposed to do. I was hoping that she had experience doing a party like this; I mean, that's why she volunteered, right? But if she was doing it only because she just wanted to be a part of something, well, that doesn't help me at all.
That open-ended question has got me so twisted, I haven't yet responded to her. This may be the most important thing we do each year, and I have left her hanging since Wednesday. I have to respond, but it's important how I was respond, and I still don't know what to say. But I have to tell her something, because the weekend's about to be over. On the other hand, if I say something so unhelpful, she might not want to do it anymore, and I would completely ruin this, and I might be back to square one.
Fuck all this. I'll just fucking say something that might be useful.
At last year's party, she volunteered to host the next one. So did the person hosting this party, but, uh, she was first? I didn't think much of it at the time because it was a year away and frankly, I didn't want to think about it. But unfortunately time marches on, no matter whether we want it to or not, and it's almost April, so after some weeks of thinking about it, I finally thought I had to reach out to her by now, even if Instant Message via Facebook sort of isn't professional.
And so she comes back with, "I'm interested in learning more." Well, shit, so am I. Because after last year's abortion of event planning (though not the event itself), I have no idea what the fuck I'm supposed to do, therefore I don't know what the fuck she's supposed to do. I was hoping that she had experience doing a party like this; I mean, that's why she volunteered, right? But if she was doing it only because she just wanted to be a part of something, well, that doesn't help me at all.
That open-ended question has got me so twisted, I haven't yet responded to her. This may be the most important thing we do each year, and I have left her hanging since Wednesday. I have to respond, but it's important how I was respond, and I still don't know what to say. But I have to tell her something, because the weekend's about to be over. On the other hand, if I say something so unhelpful, she might not want to do it anymore, and I would completely ruin this, and I might be back to square one.
Fuck all this. I'll just fucking say something that might be useful.
Saturday, March 28, 2015
2015 College Basketball Anti-Picks, Round 4
Record, Round 3: 1-6
Overall Record: 12-30
Total Outlay, Round 3: $800.00
Total Winnings, Round 3: $190.90
Total Loss, Round 3: $609.10
Overall Loss: $1,532.55
Oh, my fucking God, this is terrible. I totally misread Notre Dame, which still has a shitty defensive efficiency rating. I got taken into the "West Virginia will be the unexpected test Kentucky will have in The Big Dance" narrative. I fucking thought Arizona was going to cover on Xavier, for crissake. And, worst of all, Duke (or Utah, however you want to view it) did me dirty twice. Not only did the Blue Devils win, that final free throw after the referees conferred and put up .7 seconds on the clock pushed the cover from the Utes' side to theirs. I, of course, thought Utah was going to cover at +5 1/2, and of course they lost by six.
Fuck my goddamn life.
---
So now, with a debt rivaling some of my car bills, I need some Hail Marys, more than a few:
1) Wisconsin +1 1/2 (Arizona hasn't been able to hit from downtown, but the Badgers are kind of one-dimensional; I'm picking Wisconsin because I have them in my Final Four) $250
2) Wisconsin-Arizona Under 133.5 (I expect the Badgers to slow it down, and I don't think their ability to simply not turn the ball over is going to change) $350
3) Kentucky-Notre Dame Over 136 (Now people are saying it's the Fighting Irish that can push the Wildcats to the edge. To do that they're just going to have to score ... which they can do, frequently. It's their only way of winning. I know better; Kentucky is going to win. So why do I think the Over is going to hit? Presumably Kentucky wins by holding down the score, no? I don't know why I'm betting this) $200
4) Louisville +2 1/2 (In a battle of two unheralded teams with two Hall of Fame Head Coaches, go with the higher seed. Pitino takes out Izzo in this one) $200
5) Gonzaga +2 1/2 (I also have the Bulldogs in the Final Four. But at times against Utah Duke seemed vulnerable. If the Utes didn't get all three-crazy as they mounted their comeback, they could have made this a real nail-biter. I kind of think that the Zags have the patience and the inside presence to outwork the Blue Devils) $300
6) Parlay 1) with 5), for $150.
7) Parlay 2) with 3), for $150.
Good luck!
Overall Record: 12-30
Total Outlay, Round 3: $800.00
Total Winnings, Round 3: $190.90
Total Loss, Round 3: $609.10
Overall Loss: $1,532.55
Oh, my fucking God, this is terrible. I totally misread Notre Dame, which still has a shitty defensive efficiency rating. I got taken into the "West Virginia will be the unexpected test Kentucky will have in The Big Dance" narrative. I fucking thought Arizona was going to cover on Xavier, for crissake. And, worst of all, Duke (or Utah, however you want to view it) did me dirty twice. Not only did the Blue Devils win, that final free throw after the referees conferred and put up .7 seconds on the clock pushed the cover from the Utes' side to theirs. I, of course, thought Utah was going to cover at +5 1/2, and of course they lost by six.
Fuck my goddamn life.
---
So now, with a debt rivaling some of my car bills, I need some Hail Marys, more than a few:
1) Wisconsin +1 1/2 (Arizona hasn't been able to hit from downtown, but the Badgers are kind of one-dimensional; I'm picking Wisconsin because I have them in my Final Four) $250
2) Wisconsin-Arizona Under 133.5 (I expect the Badgers to slow it down, and I don't think their ability to simply not turn the ball over is going to change) $350
3) Kentucky-Notre Dame Over 136 (Now people are saying it's the Fighting Irish that can push the Wildcats to the edge. To do that they're just going to have to score ... which they can do, frequently. It's their only way of winning. I know better; Kentucky is going to win. So why do I think the Over is going to hit? Presumably Kentucky wins by holding down the score, no? I don't know why I'm betting this) $200
4) Louisville +2 1/2 (In a battle of two unheralded teams with two Hall of Fame Head Coaches, go with the higher seed. Pitino takes out Izzo in this one) $200
5) Gonzaga +2 1/2 (I also have the Bulldogs in the Final Four. But at times against Utah Duke seemed vulnerable. If the Utes didn't get all three-crazy as they mounted their comeback, they could have made this a real nail-biter. I kind of think that the Zags have the patience and the inside presence to outwork the Blue Devils) $300
6) Parlay 1) with 5), for $150.
7) Parlay 2) with 3), for $150.
Good luck!
Friday, March 27, 2015
Car's Fucking Up Again
You know, ever since I got my car back from The Other Mechanic Around The Corner, it was performing fine. Maybe he did do something to it, even though none of them said they did.
Well, yesterday after work changed all that. I went from Minnetonka to St. Paul to home, and it did it. Not as bad as before, to the point where they could do something, but kind of like the times beforehand, where something did happen, but not consistently.
Well, I take that back too. First thing was a hesitation at 60 mph. Then it got kind of bad on the way home, namely stepping on the gas pedal and not getting anything from the car. The worst was on the last stoplight home, where the guy behind me decided I had not gone responded to the green light fast enough and was not accelerating enough for his liking. That was when my car acted up the worst; I pressed down on the pedal and nothing came out. I think it was the worst, at least; maybe my recollections were colored by the way that guy humiliated me roaring around my lane.
At any rate, I don't think my car's fully fixed. And I have to go to work in it now.
Well, yesterday after work changed all that. I went from Minnetonka to St. Paul to home, and it did it. Not as bad as before, to the point where they could do something, but kind of like the times beforehand, where something did happen, but not consistently.
Well, I take that back too. First thing was a hesitation at 60 mph. Then it got kind of bad on the way home, namely stepping on the gas pedal and not getting anything from the car. The worst was on the last stoplight home, where the guy behind me decided I had not gone responded to the green light fast enough and was not accelerating enough for his liking. That was when my car acted up the worst; I pressed down on the pedal and nothing came out. I think it was the worst, at least; maybe my recollections were colored by the way that guy humiliated me roaring around my lane.
At any rate, I don't think my car's fully fixed. And I have to go to work in it now.
Thursday, March 26, 2015
The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey
Positive Numbers: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: -1). OK, so I guess I was panicking about the possibility the University of Minnesota women's hockey team would lose the Frozen Four at home this weekend:
I should regale you with my story about how I came to the decision not to scalp a ticket for the title game. I was still down from my car not working even though I thought it would be; I had a letter Mother wanted me to write for her by Sunday night/Monday morning; and there was a snowstorm coming that I wasn't aware of until late Saturday evening. I went out to Dinkytown to watch the NCAA Men's Hockey Tournament Selection Show at Dinkytown, but I had a birthday coupon for free boneless wings at Hooters at the Mall of America, which means that, if I were to get a ticket, I would be hustling back in traffic to get my butt to the game. Finally, despite the miracle of getting my hat and gloves back from MOA being a sign that maybe I should try and be happy (it's too hard to explain; it's just how I felt at the time), my overriding thought that Mother needed me to get this letter done for her -- and, more importantly, to please Mother -- convinced me to forego Ridder Arena and instead go to the library to finish the letter, the printing of which I had to do Sunday evening after I ate dinner with my folks.
Well, my instincts were, of course, wrong. Ever since I dropped off my car Monday it's been running, well, well; she wanted changes to the letter which she told me late Sunday night, so I had to make them after work Monday, thereby bringing me to the conclusion that I could have done the whole goddamn thing Monday night; and, of course, the snowstorm that was supposed to come in the late morning/afternoon held off until the evening (when I was out getting the first letter printed) and produced at most three inches of drivable slush. Of course, I regret this all only because the team won; that colors all my decisions not to go with a tinge of regret. Had they lost, I wouldn't be fuming over this at all, and in fact I would be kicking myself for going if I had witnessed an upset loss at home at the hands of Harvard. Better to err on the side of, uh, not going, I guess.
So I rely on that and the money I would have had to shell out to pay for a ticket. I did drive by Ridder on the way to the library, and I saw more than a few people selling tickets. Along with the pockets of empty seats and benches (this wasn't a true sellout, although I'm sure it was packed), I'm sure I could have procured a seat. But at what price? I imagine that the scalpers were asking for, oh, $100, $150. Anything less, and I probably drive to the ATM to get the money (oh, that's another thing: I didn't go because I didn't have enough cash on hand). But I have to say that if scalpers were successfully selling tickets for three figures, that is a sign that women's hockey is gaining popularity, at least in the Twin Cities. That, in its rudimentary way, is a sign of progress for women's sports.
Oh, by the way, congratulations to Head Coach Brad Frost and the Golden Gophers for their third NCAA Championship in four years and sixth overall. And most of all, congratulations for getting a free pass from the Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey until the next time your season ends short of another title. Go for a repeat, ladies!!! (Not because I don't like you, or I don't want to track you on the survey ... no, yeah, it would help me a bunch if I didn't have to track you on the survey.)
#0: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -4). Momentum is both a mercurial and an irrelevant thing when it comes to its correlation with postseason success. But I guess it's better to win going into The Ice Dance than not, especially when you're not exactly sure that you could get in without winning your conference tournament. The Gophers, which ruled the top of the polls for the first half of the men's college hockey season, completed the double, taking the Big Ten Hockey Tournament before a packed crowd at Joe Louis Arena in Detroit (it really wasn't, but I couldn't find the Twitpic of the empty house) by ripping Ohio St. and then Michigan last weekend. Putting a lie to all those doomsayers who thought that formation of the B1G would lead to the demise of lower-level hockey programs, the Gophers are the only representative from the conference in this year's 16-team tourney. Weird to see the Big Ten as a one-bid conference.
From then on it got a little surprising. Both USCHO and College Hockey News predicted Minnesota, which finished tenth in the PairWise, would be shipped to the Midwest Regional in South Bend, Ind., and face Nebraska-Omaha in the first round. Instead, the NCAA Tournament Committee took them all the way to the Northeast Regional in Manchester, N.H., and they will face off with dreaded former rival Minnesota-Duluth, in the postseason for the first time in three years. The skirmishes between the two obviously have died down since The Great Realignment two years ago, yet they have already faced each other, get this, four times this season. And what's even more bizarre, each game has been played in a different arena: South Bend, Mariucci, the DECC in Duluth, and the Xcel Energy Center. What augurs poorly for the Gophers: They have only beaten the Bulldogs the first time, which also happens to be the first game of the year. What augurs well for the Gophers: UMD got swept out of the NCHC tournament two weeks ago, and they're kind of banged up.
Puck drops late tomorrow (Friday) afternoon. Winner plays Saturday against either Yale or the top seed in that four-team regional/pod, Boston University, featuring wunderkind Jack Eichel, presumably the #2 pick in this year's National Hockey League Draft.
#-1: Wild (Last Week: -3). They stumbled against Washington, and they are still fourth in the Central Division. But they are several points clear of ninth, which means that the miracle run they needed to get into the playoff picture is about to pay off. God Bless you, Devyn Dubnyk.
Also, the Wild came back from the defeat to the Capitals by doubling up playoff-bound St. Louis, then going on the road to beat Toronto and the Islanders in a Shootout (in the last game they'll ever play at Nassau Coliseum). Those two wins means that the team has won an astounding ten games in a row on the road, by far a franchise record. It's kind of like the Gopher men's hockey team in reverse: They may have too much momentum, which means that a "correction" might come soon, and it might be nasty.
Till then they have the regular season to finish off. It will be incredibly difficult; every team remaining on the schedule is either in playoff position or fighting for it. The good thing (well, actually the bad thing, seeing as they've won ten in a row away from the X) is that they start their final regular-season homestand this week. It's five games long, and the first two are against Calgary and Los Angeles.
#-2: Gopher softball (Last Week: -2). I feel bad slotting this squad fourth-best. But it came down to a matter of the point of their seasons. Obviously the U. women hockey team will be first. I have to give dap to the men's team because they've made it to the postseason, and then the Wild are about to enter it. The softball program has just started conference play, and with the winter season winding down, I'm sure it'll have plenty of opportunities to top the WMNSS.
And they will if they continue on their winning streak. They began the B1G by sweeping Illinois on the road. While the capper was a tight 3-2 contest, the first two were mercy-ruled after five. So, yes, it looks like this team, and maybe even this program, are loaded. I definitely have to go one of their games against Michigan at Cowles Stadium next week; now it's #12 vs. #4!
One final series before this epic clash of conference titans: They are at Nebraska for three.
#-3: Timberwolves (Last Week: -7). Weird screening week; they alternated road and home games and won the roadies but not the homies. The victory at an improving Utah club was impressive, but the way they lost to the Lakers at home last (Wednesday) night, where a disputed foul was called late in Overtime, hurts. Who else is hurting? Virtually the entire Woofie Dogs squad. I read that they beat The Bastard New Orleans Jazz even though they had only seven healthy players. Sean fucking Kilpatrick is playing for the team; he was signed before their win at New York (only because of proximity) ... and he scored 13 in beating Utah.
Whatever; they're still worst in the Western Conference and second-worst overall (behind the Knicks), so things are still on-track for them to get screwed by the lottery gods. Meanwhile they play at Houston and New Orleans before returning to Target Center to play said Jazz and Toronto.
#-4: Gopher baseball (Last Week: -5). These guys are the opposite of the softball team. They were swept to begin conference play at Maryland (although there were no mercy rule games). I should expound on this thought when there are fewer teams in the WMNSS, but let me say this: Women's teams are a way for sports fans to absolve themselves of the mistakes they see in big-time sports right now. Oh, and they cancelled their mid-week game against Augsburg because Siebert Field is in shitty condition right now.
Hey, their first regular-season series is this weekend, versus Northwestern! Hope the stadium's ready!
#-5: Swarm (Last Week: -6). Wow, now this godforsaken team is in a real freefall. The club's second straight defeat by a score of 12-8, Saturday at Buffalo, has lengthened its losing streak to six games and put them tied at the bottom of the National Lacrosse League with Calgary at 3-8. Fuck. They visit New England for a tilt Sunday afternoon.
#-Infinity (tie): Gopher women's basketball and Gopher wrestling (Last Week, respectively: -8 and Re-Entry!). There are two commonalities between these two programs that, on the surface, cannot be more diametrically opposed to each other. I could be an asshole and say that both of them feature players that are manly, but I say that out of anger that their seasons wound up such disappointments.
After getting my temper under control, I will now say that the similarity between them is not as assholic but just as infuriating: Their inability to hold onto a good thing as time wound down. For the women's basketball team, they had a 41-30 lead on DePaul but choked away the lead before being eliminated in the first round of the NCAA Tournament, 79-72. This was not the first time they blew a lead; in fact, it became a common occurrence as the season wore on. Despite Amanda Zahui B.'s all-season heroics -- she hauled in 22 rebounds -- it became that the club missed Point Guard Rachel Banham's ball-handling and ability to penetrate and stretch opposing defenses. It's way too early to tell if this is portends bad things for Head Coach Marlene Stollings's tenure here. But until we have a second season to evaluate, I guess we should just be happy that they have rebounded to at least make their first appearance in The Big Dance since 2009, and hope that a Banham-Zahui-Carlie Wagner triumverate could stick around in the tourney for more than a cup of coffee.
The wrestling team's collapse -- and it was a collapse -- is much more troubling. The team wound up in 8th place in the NCAA Championships held in St. Louis last weekend. None of the rasslers for the Gophers were able to finish over their seed. Worst of all, the best and probably only prospect for an individual title, #1 Chris Dardanes at 133 pounds, was upset, big time, in the semifinals by Cody Brewer of Oklahoma. I don't know which is worse: that it was an ass-kicking by a score of 15-3, or that Brewer was ranked only 13th in the country. How in the fuck does the top seed in his weight class get his testicles stomped on by a guy twelve places below him?!
In all, no one on the team won an individual title. And considering that the University of Minnesota was ranked first for much of the season, before that high-profile loss to Iowa in a match that was moved from the Sports Pavilion to Williams Arena, this putrid finish should raise a lot of eyebrows and coax some serious, somber questions for Head Coach J Robinson.
What's even worse: The team that won it all is Ohio St. Ohio goddamn St. No one was talking about the Buckeyes winning this tournament before the season began. It was Minnesota or Iowa, maybe defending champ Penn St. or even Oklahoma St. But it appears as though Ohio St. was able to win what turned out to be a free-for-all as a result of a relative down year for not only the sports's marquee programs but also the sport as a whole. So how in the shit can't Robinson and his crew take advantage of such a mess and win the team title going away?
And now the window has probably closed. The Nittany Lions are going to regroup. The Hawkeyes and Cowboys are just going to reload. But how about the Golden Goofers? What the fuck are they gonna do -- start off as preseason #1 again? Oh, look how much good that did them this year. What a fucking waste. ...
I should regale you with my story about how I came to the decision not to scalp a ticket for the title game. I was still down from my car not working even though I thought it would be; I had a letter Mother wanted me to write for her by Sunday night/Monday morning; and there was a snowstorm coming that I wasn't aware of until late Saturday evening. I went out to Dinkytown to watch the NCAA Men's Hockey Tournament Selection Show at Dinkytown, but I had a birthday coupon for free boneless wings at Hooters at the Mall of America, which means that, if I were to get a ticket, I would be hustling back in traffic to get my butt to the game. Finally, despite the miracle of getting my hat and gloves back from MOA being a sign that maybe I should try and be happy (it's too hard to explain; it's just how I felt at the time), my overriding thought that Mother needed me to get this letter done for her -- and, more importantly, to please Mother -- convinced me to forego Ridder Arena and instead go to the library to finish the letter, the printing of which I had to do Sunday evening after I ate dinner with my folks.
Well, my instincts were, of course, wrong. Ever since I dropped off my car Monday it's been running, well, well; she wanted changes to the letter which she told me late Sunday night, so I had to make them after work Monday, thereby bringing me to the conclusion that I could have done the whole goddamn thing Monday night; and, of course, the snowstorm that was supposed to come in the late morning/afternoon held off until the evening (when I was out getting the first letter printed) and produced at most three inches of drivable slush. Of course, I regret this all only because the team won; that colors all my decisions not to go with a tinge of regret. Had they lost, I wouldn't be fuming over this at all, and in fact I would be kicking myself for going if I had witnessed an upset loss at home at the hands of Harvard. Better to err on the side of, uh, not going, I guess.
So I rely on that and the money I would have had to shell out to pay for a ticket. I did drive by Ridder on the way to the library, and I saw more than a few people selling tickets. Along with the pockets of empty seats and benches (this wasn't a true sellout, although I'm sure it was packed), I'm sure I could have procured a seat. But at what price? I imagine that the scalpers were asking for, oh, $100, $150. Anything less, and I probably drive to the ATM to get the money (oh, that's another thing: I didn't go because I didn't have enough cash on hand). But I have to say that if scalpers were successfully selling tickets for three figures, that is a sign that women's hockey is gaining popularity, at least in the Twin Cities. That, in its rudimentary way, is a sign of progress for women's sports.
Oh, by the way, congratulations to Head Coach Brad Frost and the Golden Gophers for their third NCAA Championship in four years and sixth overall. And most of all, congratulations for getting a free pass from the Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey until the next time your season ends short of another title. Go for a repeat, ladies!!! (Not because I don't like you, or I don't want to track you on the survey ... no, yeah, it would help me a bunch if I didn't have to track you on the survey.)
#0: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -4). Momentum is both a mercurial and an irrelevant thing when it comes to its correlation with postseason success. But I guess it's better to win going into The Ice Dance than not, especially when you're not exactly sure that you could get in without winning your conference tournament. The Gophers, which ruled the top of the polls for the first half of the men's college hockey season, completed the double, taking the Big Ten Hockey Tournament before a packed crowd at Joe Louis Arena in Detroit (it really wasn't, but I couldn't find the Twitpic of the empty house) by ripping Ohio St. and then Michigan last weekend. Putting a lie to all those doomsayers who thought that formation of the B1G would lead to the demise of lower-level hockey programs, the Gophers are the only representative from the conference in this year's 16-team tourney. Weird to see the Big Ten as a one-bid conference.
From then on it got a little surprising. Both USCHO and College Hockey News predicted Minnesota, which finished tenth in the PairWise, would be shipped to the Midwest Regional in South Bend, Ind., and face Nebraska-Omaha in the first round. Instead, the NCAA Tournament Committee took them all the way to the Northeast Regional in Manchester, N.H., and they will face off with dreaded former rival Minnesota-Duluth, in the postseason for the first time in three years. The skirmishes between the two obviously have died down since The Great Realignment two years ago, yet they have already faced each other, get this, four times this season. And what's even more bizarre, each game has been played in a different arena: South Bend, Mariucci, the DECC in Duluth, and the Xcel Energy Center. What augurs poorly for the Gophers: They have only beaten the Bulldogs the first time, which also happens to be the first game of the year. What augurs well for the Gophers: UMD got swept out of the NCHC tournament two weeks ago, and they're kind of banged up.
Puck drops late tomorrow (Friday) afternoon. Winner plays Saturday against either Yale or the top seed in that four-team regional/pod, Boston University, featuring wunderkind Jack Eichel, presumably the #2 pick in this year's National Hockey League Draft.
#-1: Wild (Last Week: -3). They stumbled against Washington, and they are still fourth in the Central Division. But they are several points clear of ninth, which means that the miracle run they needed to get into the playoff picture is about to pay off. God Bless you, Devyn Dubnyk.
Also, the Wild came back from the defeat to the Capitals by doubling up playoff-bound St. Louis, then going on the road to beat Toronto and the Islanders in a Shootout (in the last game they'll ever play at Nassau Coliseum). Those two wins means that the team has won an astounding ten games in a row on the road, by far a franchise record. It's kind of like the Gopher men's hockey team in reverse: They may have too much momentum, which means that a "correction" might come soon, and it might be nasty.
Till then they have the regular season to finish off. It will be incredibly difficult; every team remaining on the schedule is either in playoff position or fighting for it. The good thing (well, actually the bad thing, seeing as they've won ten in a row away from the X) is that they start their final regular-season homestand this week. It's five games long, and the first two are against Calgary and Los Angeles.
#-2: Gopher softball (Last Week: -2). I feel bad slotting this squad fourth-best. But it came down to a matter of the point of their seasons. Obviously the U. women hockey team will be first. I have to give dap to the men's team because they've made it to the postseason, and then the Wild are about to enter it. The softball program has just started conference play, and with the winter season winding down, I'm sure it'll have plenty of opportunities to top the WMNSS.
And they will if they continue on their winning streak. They began the B1G by sweeping Illinois on the road. While the capper was a tight 3-2 contest, the first two were mercy-ruled after five. So, yes, it looks like this team, and maybe even this program, are loaded. I definitely have to go one of their games against Michigan at Cowles Stadium next week; now it's #12 vs. #4!
One final series before this epic clash of conference titans: They are at Nebraska for three.
#-3: Timberwolves (Last Week: -7). Weird screening week; they alternated road and home games and won the roadies but not the homies. The victory at an improving Utah club was impressive, but the way they lost to the Lakers at home last (Wednesday) night, where a disputed foul was called late in Overtime, hurts. Who else is hurting? Virtually the entire Woofie Dogs squad. I read that they beat The Bastard New Orleans Jazz even though they had only seven healthy players. Sean fucking Kilpatrick is playing for the team; he was signed before their win at New York (only because of proximity) ... and he scored 13 in beating Utah.
Whatever; they're still worst in the Western Conference and second-worst overall (behind the Knicks), so things are still on-track for them to get screwed by the lottery gods. Meanwhile they play at Houston and New Orleans before returning to Target Center to play said Jazz and Toronto.
#-4: Gopher baseball (Last Week: -5). These guys are the opposite of the softball team. They were swept to begin conference play at Maryland (although there were no mercy rule games). I should expound on this thought when there are fewer teams in the WMNSS, but let me say this: Women's teams are a way for sports fans to absolve themselves of the mistakes they see in big-time sports right now. Oh, and they cancelled their mid-week game against Augsburg because Siebert Field is in shitty condition right now.
Hey, their first regular-season series is this weekend, versus Northwestern! Hope the stadium's ready!
#-5: Swarm (Last Week: -6). Wow, now this godforsaken team is in a real freefall. The club's second straight defeat by a score of 12-8, Saturday at Buffalo, has lengthened its losing streak to six games and put them tied at the bottom of the National Lacrosse League with Calgary at 3-8. Fuck. They visit New England for a tilt Sunday afternoon.
#-Infinity (tie): Gopher women's basketball and Gopher wrestling (Last Week, respectively: -8 and Re-Entry!). There are two commonalities between these two programs that, on the surface, cannot be more diametrically opposed to each other. I could be an asshole and say that both of them feature players that are manly, but I say that out of anger that their seasons wound up such disappointments.
After getting my temper under control, I will now say that the similarity between them is not as assholic but just as infuriating: Their inability to hold onto a good thing as time wound down. For the women's basketball team, they had a 41-30 lead on DePaul but choked away the lead before being eliminated in the first round of the NCAA Tournament, 79-72. This was not the first time they blew a lead; in fact, it became a common occurrence as the season wore on. Despite Amanda Zahui B.'s all-season heroics -- she hauled in 22 rebounds -- it became that the club missed Point Guard Rachel Banham's ball-handling and ability to penetrate and stretch opposing defenses. It's way too early to tell if this is portends bad things for Head Coach Marlene Stollings's tenure here. But until we have a second season to evaluate, I guess we should just be happy that they have rebounded to at least make their first appearance in The Big Dance since 2009, and hope that a Banham-Zahui-Carlie Wagner triumverate could stick around in the tourney for more than a cup of coffee.
The wrestling team's collapse -- and it was a collapse -- is much more troubling. The team wound up in 8th place in the NCAA Championships held in St. Louis last weekend. None of the rasslers for the Gophers were able to finish over their seed. Worst of all, the best and probably only prospect for an individual title, #1 Chris Dardanes at 133 pounds, was upset, big time, in the semifinals by Cody Brewer of Oklahoma. I don't know which is worse: that it was an ass-kicking by a score of 15-3, or that Brewer was ranked only 13th in the country. How in the fuck does the top seed in his weight class get his testicles stomped on by a guy twelve places below him?!
In all, no one on the team won an individual title. And considering that the University of Minnesota was ranked first for much of the season, before that high-profile loss to Iowa in a match that was moved from the Sports Pavilion to Williams Arena, this putrid finish should raise a lot of eyebrows and coax some serious, somber questions for Head Coach J Robinson.
What's even worse: The team that won it all is Ohio St. Ohio goddamn St. No one was talking about the Buckeyes winning this tournament before the season began. It was Minnesota or Iowa, maybe defending champ Penn St. or even Oklahoma St. But it appears as though Ohio St. was able to win what turned out to be a free-for-all as a result of a relative down year for not only the sports's marquee programs but also the sport as a whole. So how in the shit can't Robinson and his crew take advantage of such a mess and win the team title going away?
And now the window has probably closed. The Nittany Lions are going to regroup. The Hawkeyes and Cowboys are just going to reload. But how about the Golden Goofers? What the fuck are they gonna do -- start off as preseason #1 again? Oh, look how much good that did them this year. What a fucking waste. ...
2015 College Basketball Anti-Picks, Round 3
Record, Round 2: 5-6
Overall Record: 11-24
Total Outlay, Round 2: $1,150.00
Total Winnings, Round 2: $1,157.45
Total Gain, Round 2: $7.45
Overall Loss: $923.45
Overall, not bad, although it obviously would have helped if either of my two parlays came through -- or better, if I had just won every single wager this past weekend. Let it be said that the Giant Killers Blog on ESPN.com, which I followed religiously when laying down my first bets for the first round on Thursday and Friday, is having an absolutely atrocious tournament. I think they went 1-6 in games where they said the upset chances for the lower-seeded team were good enough to be called "Best Bets."
I did not follow them as much for Round 2. Sadly, I did rely on them enough to believe that Ohio St. would pull the shocking upset of Arizona, so much so I roped the Buckeyes into each of the two parlays. Instead, they got their doors blown off by 15. Also, I was surprised that Xavier, which I still believe to be pretty weak, was able to put away Georgia St. Fortunately, those were the only wrong bets I made. I nailed the Wichita St. upset of Kansas, snagging both Against The Spread and Straight-Up bets (although a bunch of people did), knew that Utah would cover its -4 1/2 in beating Georgetown, won the 50/50 ball of West Virginia over Maryland, and was lucky in getting Butler at +4 1/2 after losing in overtime to a Notre Dame team whose defense still blows.
So winning $7.45 is nothing after losing more than $900 in the previous round, but it's better than going farther in the hole.
---
That has been my modus operandi: Overdose on upsets in Round 1, lick my wounds and be a bit more cautious in Round 2, and start my comeback slowly from there. The trick is to not make any huge blunders and nail what I think are the easy calls. So here goes nothing:
1) Wichita St. -2 (The Fighting Irish have not faced a defense as relentless as the Shockers, and their defensive inefficiency will be exposed like me at a stripper party) $200
2) West Virginia +13 1/2 (This won't be a big bet, but I want to lay some money on this. I have been swayed by a Covers article saying that Kentucky might have a problem rebounding, especially on the offensive glass, against the Mountaineers' tall front line. They were able to thug it up in defeating the Terrapins, and Head Coach Bob Huggins knows that a street fight will be the only way to pull off what would be one of The Five Greatest Upsets In The History Of Recorded Sport. Besides, every time, even one fated for canonization as the Wildcats appear to be this year, have been tested in The Big Dance once; why can't it be West Virginia?) $50
3) Arizona -10 1/2 (Xavier's miracle run has to end at the hands of a Wildcats team playing in Los Angeles, right?) $150
4) Louisville -3 (Playing only on the fact that N.C. St's defensive efficiency is still in the 80s, and that Rick Pitino is on the sideline) $100
5) Utah +5 1/2 (After obviously Kentucky, the Utes were, to me, the most intriguing team in the NCAA Tournament. They did not go into it on a roll, and they seemed underseeded and thus ripe for a 12-over-5 upset at the hands of chic Cinderella pick Stephen F. Austin. I predicted that the Utes would lose. But Larry Krystowiak has burnished his reputation as a good Head Coach by piloting past SFA, then trouncing the in-over-their-heads Hoyas ... and I think they're good enough on the defensive end to spring the upset and knock out Duke. So much so that you can Double Best Bet this. ...) $150
6) Utah M/L +206 (... and then take them SU as well) $50
7) Parlay 1) with 5), for $100.
Good luck!
Overall Record: 11-24
Total Outlay, Round 2: $1,150.00
Total Winnings, Round 2: $1,157.45
Total Gain, Round 2: $7.45
Overall Loss: $923.45
Overall, not bad, although it obviously would have helped if either of my two parlays came through -- or better, if I had just won every single wager this past weekend. Let it be said that the Giant Killers Blog on ESPN.com, which I followed religiously when laying down my first bets for the first round on Thursday and Friday, is having an absolutely atrocious tournament. I think they went 1-6 in games where they said the upset chances for the lower-seeded team were good enough to be called "Best Bets."
I did not follow them as much for Round 2. Sadly, I did rely on them enough to believe that Ohio St. would pull the shocking upset of Arizona, so much so I roped the Buckeyes into each of the two parlays. Instead, they got their doors blown off by 15. Also, I was surprised that Xavier, which I still believe to be pretty weak, was able to put away Georgia St. Fortunately, those were the only wrong bets I made. I nailed the Wichita St. upset of Kansas, snagging both Against The Spread and Straight-Up bets (although a bunch of people did), knew that Utah would cover its -4 1/2 in beating Georgetown, won the 50/50 ball of West Virginia over Maryland, and was lucky in getting Butler at +4 1/2 after losing in overtime to a Notre Dame team whose defense still blows.
So winning $7.45 is nothing after losing more than $900 in the previous round, but it's better than going farther in the hole.
---
That has been my modus operandi: Overdose on upsets in Round 1, lick my wounds and be a bit more cautious in Round 2, and start my comeback slowly from there. The trick is to not make any huge blunders and nail what I think are the easy calls. So here goes nothing:
1) Wichita St. -2 (The Fighting Irish have not faced a defense as relentless as the Shockers, and their defensive inefficiency will be exposed like me at a stripper party) $200
2) West Virginia +13 1/2 (This won't be a big bet, but I want to lay some money on this. I have been swayed by a Covers article saying that Kentucky might have a problem rebounding, especially on the offensive glass, against the Mountaineers' tall front line. They were able to thug it up in defeating the Terrapins, and Head Coach Bob Huggins knows that a street fight will be the only way to pull off what would be one of The Five Greatest Upsets In The History Of Recorded Sport. Besides, every time, even one fated for canonization as the Wildcats appear to be this year, have been tested in The Big Dance once; why can't it be West Virginia?) $50
3) Arizona -10 1/2 (Xavier's miracle run has to end at the hands of a Wildcats team playing in Los Angeles, right?) $150
4) Louisville -3 (Playing only on the fact that N.C. St's defensive efficiency is still in the 80s, and that Rick Pitino is on the sideline) $100
5) Utah +5 1/2 (After obviously Kentucky, the Utes were, to me, the most intriguing team in the NCAA Tournament. They did not go into it on a roll, and they seemed underseeded and thus ripe for a 12-over-5 upset at the hands of chic Cinderella pick Stephen F. Austin. I predicted that the Utes would lose. But Larry Krystowiak has burnished his reputation as a good Head Coach by piloting past SFA, then trouncing the in-over-their-heads Hoyas ... and I think they're good enough on the defensive end to spring the upset and knock out Duke. So much so that you can Double Best Bet this. ...) $150
6) Utah M/L +206 (... and then take them SU as well) $50
7) Parlay 1) with 5), for $100.
Good luck!
Wednesday, March 25, 2015
I Got My Hat And Gloves Back!!!
Well, I consider this to be a miracle.
Sunday I went down to the Hooters at the Mall of America because they e-mailed me a coupon for free boneless wings for my birthday. While I was there I figured I would swing by customer service to see if they found my hat and gloves. So I went down to one of their desks and gave them a description of those items. The person helping me located a vague description matching the gloves, so I volunteered that the winter hat I lost along with my gloves had the logo of the Surly Brewing Co. on it. To which she replied, "Yep, that's it!"
Wait ... you found it? Really?? You mean to tell me that my asking about it two weeks after I lost it actually worked??? Oh my God, I got it back!!!
So the way it was told to me is that it was turned in as lost around 2:30 the day I lost it. I remember getting back out of my car to retrace my steps a little past 2:30 that day, meaning that it was turned in after I realized that I had lost them. And any doubts that somehow they weren't mine were dispelled after I looked at them: Oh yeah, those are mine.
I have never recovered anything from a lost and found before, so I was surprised (though pleasantly so) as to what happened next. Apparently there is a central station where all lost and found items are collected. The customer service agent called someone, who then walked down to the desk with my hat and gloves (it took her about ten, maybe 15 minutes to come down; I don't know if she was busy or she came from the other side of the mall). After that she needed my ID, after which she punched in ostensibly my information. She then cut the string that bound my hat and gloves together, attached to which was a note detailing the items and the time and place it was found.
It seemed like too big of a deal at the time, but upon further reflection the Megamall needs to do this in order to cover its ass. The customer service agent told me that there was a note on the computer system saying that they suspect my hat and gloves belonged to someone else because -- and I think I heard this right -- the person turning them in found them on a cart, and they had the name of the last person to use that cart. Well, if he wants to raise a stink about it, go ahead, because one look at them and I knew they were mine, right down to the "Water Proof" tag on the side of the glove I forgot.
---
I was back from depositing my test scoring paycheck to find a scalper for the NCHC Frozen Faceoff final when, along the way, I came across two really solid black gloves just lying on the sidewalk. There was a loud family that passed by me about a minute before, and I thought that the gloves belonged to the man, but when I picked them up and looked back, they seemed to be fighting while continuing on. If they were his, I assumed that he would have went back for them. Hey, these were good gloves, and the weather was kind of chilly that Saturday evening.
I thought about the gloves I lost at MOA, and I thought about them. If someone took mine, wouldn't it be fair to take these? I thought about it for a minute, and then took both gloves off of the pavement, put them together, and placed them on top of one of the plastic boxes that holds those alternative weeklies. And I spoke out loud, "These are not mine." Someone else may have taken my gloves, but even so, on principle, I do not have the right to take gloves that were recently dropped by its rightful owner. Maybe that guy would never come back for them. Maybe someone else would swipe them. But it's not going to be me.
I didn't think it was going to be good karma, but shoot, the day after I made the decision not to take those gloves, I got my gloves back! Maybe I did do something right, and maybe someone up above saw it and rewarded me!! Oh, hat and gloves -- I am so, so sorry to lose you. I will never be careless with you guys ever again. You are back with me, and we will never, ever be apart, ever again!!!
My faith in humanity has been restored. There is good in the world. And I am have a small measure of peace with myself again, for we have reunited, and it feels so good!
Sunday I went down to the Hooters at the Mall of America because they e-mailed me a coupon for free boneless wings for my birthday. While I was there I figured I would swing by customer service to see if they found my hat and gloves. So I went down to one of their desks and gave them a description of those items. The person helping me located a vague description matching the gloves, so I volunteered that the winter hat I lost along with my gloves had the logo of the Surly Brewing Co. on it. To which she replied, "Yep, that's it!"
Wait ... you found it? Really?? You mean to tell me that my asking about it two weeks after I lost it actually worked??? Oh my God, I got it back!!!
So the way it was told to me is that it was turned in as lost around 2:30 the day I lost it. I remember getting back out of my car to retrace my steps a little past 2:30 that day, meaning that it was turned in after I realized that I had lost them. And any doubts that somehow they weren't mine were dispelled after I looked at them: Oh yeah, those are mine.
I have never recovered anything from a lost and found before, so I was surprised (though pleasantly so) as to what happened next. Apparently there is a central station where all lost and found items are collected. The customer service agent called someone, who then walked down to the desk with my hat and gloves (it took her about ten, maybe 15 minutes to come down; I don't know if she was busy or she came from the other side of the mall). After that she needed my ID, after which she punched in ostensibly my information. She then cut the string that bound my hat and gloves together, attached to which was a note detailing the items and the time and place it was found.
It seemed like too big of a deal at the time, but upon further reflection the Megamall needs to do this in order to cover its ass. The customer service agent told me that there was a note on the computer system saying that they suspect my hat and gloves belonged to someone else because -- and I think I heard this right -- the person turning them in found them on a cart, and they had the name of the last person to use that cart. Well, if he wants to raise a stink about it, go ahead, because one look at them and I knew they were mine, right down to the "Water Proof" tag on the side of the glove I forgot.
---
I was back from depositing my test scoring paycheck to find a scalper for the NCHC Frozen Faceoff final when, along the way, I came across two really solid black gloves just lying on the sidewalk. There was a loud family that passed by me about a minute before, and I thought that the gloves belonged to the man, but when I picked them up and looked back, they seemed to be fighting while continuing on. If they were his, I assumed that he would have went back for them. Hey, these were good gloves, and the weather was kind of chilly that Saturday evening.
I thought about the gloves I lost at MOA, and I thought about them. If someone took mine, wouldn't it be fair to take these? I thought about it for a minute, and then took both gloves off of the pavement, put them together, and placed them on top of one of the plastic boxes that holds those alternative weeklies. And I spoke out loud, "These are not mine." Someone else may have taken my gloves, but even so, on principle, I do not have the right to take gloves that were recently dropped by its rightful owner. Maybe that guy would never come back for them. Maybe someone else would swipe them. But it's not going to be me.
I didn't think it was going to be good karma, but shoot, the day after I made the decision not to take those gloves, I got my gloves back! Maybe I did do something right, and maybe someone up above saw it and rewarded me!! Oh, hat and gloves -- I am so, so sorry to lose you. I will never be careless with you guys ever again. You are back with me, and we will never, ever be apart, ever again!!!
My faith in humanity has been restored. There is good in the world. And I am have a small measure of peace with myself again, for we have reunited, and it feels so good!
Tuesday, March 24, 2015
The Good And Peaceful Times Cheating On My Car
So I brought the car in on Monday knowing that 1) it quieted down a bit on Sunday -- even though I did feel something a couple times -- after a very rough Saturday and 2) I might be pissing off The Other Mechanic Around The Corner. As I feared, they didn't find anything. That might mean the problems are gone and I can drive it anywhere I want, like I pretty much did on Sunday. Or he might have missed something and I will get into a car accident on my way to or from work today, in which case I am mad at my car for hiding its problem when I want it to get fixed.
These guys have been tremendously generous with my use of their two loaner cars. I think this year is the first time I have not only used their loaners, but loaners other than the one given by the dealership when I still went to them. They have two. I once used their Santa Fe, which is a nice car, but in the several times I've dropped off my car with them I have been given their Camry, which is kind of ironic since my car is considered to be a glorified Camry.
It's a solid car. There's a weird wheeze when I'm accelerating, but other than that it works just fine. In fact, even though I sensed it before, it was only yesterday, stepping into its cloth seats, smelling the cigarettes smoked by either previous loanees or the mechanics themselves, seeing the stains on the floor mats, etc., that it was really, really nice to have a car that, even though it had some years and some, uh, "experience" with other drivers, I didn't have to worry about. Mainly it was because I had a car that has given me too many problems, too much anxiety, for a long time. But it was also good to use a car that wasn't mine. I love my car, and (this is just as important, although it may sound weird) I feel the need to stay loyal to my car as a matter of principle. But the older I get, the more I think that the "joy of ownership" is bullshit.
Now, there is pain of ownership, the constant worry that something you've relied on is crapping out on you, and that you'll have to spend a ton of money to get it better, and there's a possibility it still won't, and you'll wind up despising something you once loved. But joy? Conservatives talk about it all the time, and they are either liars or crazy. One of the main reasons I stick by the car that I have now, and sink so much cash into it, is because I don't think it's better for me to buy another car when its payments and insurance may be just as high as the one I've had virtually my entire driving life. So I will hope that it doesn't stall in front of traffic -- either when I am done with this blog post and go to work, or come back from work, or any other time I drive my car in the future. Because at this point I don't want to burn all my currency from the guys who now might think I'm paranoid. This problem goes away, or this problem acts up and I have the time to bring it in again, or it gets bad at a bad time and I get into an accident ... at which point I might pine for a car that has no problems, like this lived-in Camry.
These guys have been tremendously generous with my use of their two loaner cars. I think this year is the first time I have not only used their loaners, but loaners other than the one given by the dealership when I still went to them. They have two. I once used their Santa Fe, which is a nice car, but in the several times I've dropped off my car with them I have been given their Camry, which is kind of ironic since my car is considered to be a glorified Camry.
It's a solid car. There's a weird wheeze when I'm accelerating, but other than that it works just fine. In fact, even though I sensed it before, it was only yesterday, stepping into its cloth seats, smelling the cigarettes smoked by either previous loanees or the mechanics themselves, seeing the stains on the floor mats, etc., that it was really, really nice to have a car that, even though it had some years and some, uh, "experience" with other drivers, I didn't have to worry about. Mainly it was because I had a car that has given me too many problems, too much anxiety, for a long time. But it was also good to use a car that wasn't mine. I love my car, and (this is just as important, although it may sound weird) I feel the need to stay loyal to my car as a matter of principle. But the older I get, the more I think that the "joy of ownership" is bullshit.
Now, there is pain of ownership, the constant worry that something you've relied on is crapping out on you, and that you'll have to spend a ton of money to get it better, and there's a possibility it still won't, and you'll wind up despising something you once loved. But joy? Conservatives talk about it all the time, and they are either liars or crazy. One of the main reasons I stick by the car that I have now, and sink so much cash into it, is because I don't think it's better for me to buy another car when its payments and insurance may be just as high as the one I've had virtually my entire driving life. So I will hope that it doesn't stall in front of traffic -- either when I am done with this blog post and go to work, or come back from work, or any other time I drive my car in the future. Because at this point I don't want to burn all my currency from the guys who now might think I'm paranoid. This problem goes away, or this problem acts up and I have the time to bring it in again, or it gets bad at a bad time and I get into an accident ... at which point I might pine for a car that has no problems, like this lived-in Camry.
Monday, March 23, 2015
Spacing Out At Work
I do not want to sound ungrateful. I respect my job scoring tests, I really do. But in the past couple years I have found it more and more difficult to focus on scoring these tests, to the point where I routinely think about something for minutes before I snap myself out of it and realize I have a new paper in front of me.
I've been doing this a lot for this project. My problem, maybe, is that I feel like I need to read each paper from top to bottom, then look at it as a whole, in order to assess it correctly. That takes a lot of time. And frankly, not a lot of them are that good. Sure, they're kids, but I think I have become less tolerant of trying to pay attention to a way a child writes. I think I have always been a bit bothered by trying to get into the head space of a kid in order to grade him or her correctly, but this time around it has been downright frustrating, if not maddening.
I really do wonder if all this daydreaming has damaged my production to the point where it hurts my standing with the company. While it's been a chore (and trust me, I'm not the only one whose eyes have rolled into his or her head during our time doing this), I would certainly tough it out if someone took me aside and said that I wasn't pulling my weight. The last thing I need is to lose my job because I'm bored out of my skull. Of course, that doesn't eliminate the fact that I indeed am bored out of my skull at work.
What really frightens me, though, is that I didn't space out as much, or as like this, when I started out. You know, the other day one of my colleagues, one who has known me for a while, said that I score really fast. I'm afraid that's not true. I've looked over my numbers, and again, even though no one has pulled me aside and cracked the whip on me, I am average, maybe below average, compared to the rest of the group. We get statistics of our production all the time, and in the past couple years I look at my numbers and I certainly am not leading. In fact I have lagged at one or two projects. I don't know if this change within the past couple years is because I can't take test scoring anymore or if there's something wrong in my head. If it's the latter, that would really scare me.
I've been doing this a lot for this project. My problem, maybe, is that I feel like I need to read each paper from top to bottom, then look at it as a whole, in order to assess it correctly. That takes a lot of time. And frankly, not a lot of them are that good. Sure, they're kids, but I think I have become less tolerant of trying to pay attention to a way a child writes. I think I have always been a bit bothered by trying to get into the head space of a kid in order to grade him or her correctly, but this time around it has been downright frustrating, if not maddening.
I really do wonder if all this daydreaming has damaged my production to the point where it hurts my standing with the company. While it's been a chore (and trust me, I'm not the only one whose eyes have rolled into his or her head during our time doing this), I would certainly tough it out if someone took me aside and said that I wasn't pulling my weight. The last thing I need is to lose my job because I'm bored out of my skull. Of course, that doesn't eliminate the fact that I indeed am bored out of my skull at work.
What really frightens me, though, is that I didn't space out as much, or as like this, when I started out. You know, the other day one of my colleagues, one who has known me for a while, said that I score really fast. I'm afraid that's not true. I've looked over my numbers, and again, even though no one has pulled me aside and cracked the whip on me, I am average, maybe below average, compared to the rest of the group. We get statistics of our production all the time, and in the past couple years I look at my numbers and I certainly am not leading. In fact I have lagged at one or two projects. I don't know if this change within the past couple years is because I can't take test scoring anymore or if there's something wrong in my head. If it's the latter, that would really scare me.
Sunday, March 22, 2015
Things Basically Went South Saturday
This was supposed to be a good day. I was going to go to work and put in some overtime, then travel across town to go to this brewery tour and tasting, offered by people who I looked forward to know, then the National Collegiate Hockey Conference Championship Game at Target Center, then My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Division), then My Favorite Late-Night Italian Place, then home.
Two things changed that. First of all, when driving away from work, I took a left and the goddamn, motherfucking stalling issue came back. It scared the shit out of me, mostly because I was taking two lefts (which I thought were going to be absolutely no problem) on my way to the far end of St. Paul. I hoped it would go away, but it happened again leaving the brewery and again leaving downtown after the game.
In a panic I called The Other Mechanic Around The Corner. I don't know if I got a mechanic, but they told me to call today (Sunday), even though I thought the shop was closed. If I get someone, and I am able to bring the car in to get it fixed Monday before work, fantastic. But I'm also afraid that they have already committed their loaner cars to people on Monday, which means I'll have to risk driving (or not driving) a stalled car in traffic for work. Not fun. Let alone the fact that I though my fucking car was fixed but it still goddamn isn't.
Meanwhile, I had time before the game to deposit my check from my test scoring place, and I decided that as long as I was at the ATM I would take out some money for tickets to Saturday night's game or, potentially, Sunday afternoon's NCAA women's hockey championship game. I hedged and got only $40, but I finally, after about a month of not looking, gazed at my outstanding balance. And it was frighteningly lower than I thought it was. And assuming that the total I saw on my receipt is the amount after the deposit, for the rest of my day I'm asking myself where my fucking money went.
That question shrouded the rest of my night. I felt guilty buying the NCHA Frozen Faceoff program. Right now I am not thinking about going to tomorrow's game even though Minnesota has a chance of romping their way to a title. (Well, there's a chance that Harvard upsets them, and besides, I don't think I'm going to spend $100 for a scalped ticket.) And after thinking that I was going to stay at the strip club for an hour, I left after tipping just one girl. I just wasn't feeling spending money. Of course, I'm typing this right now after buying and eating a whole pizza. Guess I'll spend money if I'm feeling sorry for myself.
So after I blog about this I'll go home, restart my computer, check my checking account and -- gulp -- finally open my statement to make absolutely sure I charged every single transaction. My God, my fucking money's going through my fingers as soon as I get it. And I can't afford that because I need to fuckin' fix my goddamn car, again.
Fuck my life.
Two things changed that. First of all, when driving away from work, I took a left and the goddamn, motherfucking stalling issue came back. It scared the shit out of me, mostly because I was taking two lefts (which I thought were going to be absolutely no problem) on my way to the far end of St. Paul. I hoped it would go away, but it happened again leaving the brewery and again leaving downtown after the game.
In a panic I called The Other Mechanic Around The Corner. I don't know if I got a mechanic, but they told me to call today (Sunday), even though I thought the shop was closed. If I get someone, and I am able to bring the car in to get it fixed Monday before work, fantastic. But I'm also afraid that they have already committed their loaner cars to people on Monday, which means I'll have to risk driving (or not driving) a stalled car in traffic for work. Not fun. Let alone the fact that I though my fucking car was fixed but it still goddamn isn't.
Meanwhile, I had time before the game to deposit my check from my test scoring place, and I decided that as long as I was at the ATM I would take out some money for tickets to Saturday night's game or, potentially, Sunday afternoon's NCAA women's hockey championship game. I hedged and got only $40, but I finally, after about a month of not looking, gazed at my outstanding balance. And it was frighteningly lower than I thought it was. And assuming that the total I saw on my receipt is the amount after the deposit, for the rest of my day I'm asking myself where my fucking money went.
That question shrouded the rest of my night. I felt guilty buying the NCHA Frozen Faceoff program. Right now I am not thinking about going to tomorrow's game even though Minnesota has a chance of romping their way to a title. (Well, there's a chance that Harvard upsets them, and besides, I don't think I'm going to spend $100 for a scalped ticket.) And after thinking that I was going to stay at the strip club for an hour, I left after tipping just one girl. I just wasn't feeling spending money. Of course, I'm typing this right now after buying and eating a whole pizza. Guess I'll spend money if I'm feeling sorry for myself.
So after I blog about this I'll go home, restart my computer, check my checking account and -- gulp -- finally open my statement to make absolutely sure I charged every single transaction. My God, my fucking money's going through my fingers as soon as I get it. And I can't afford that because I need to fuckin' fix my goddamn car, again.
Fuck my life.
Saturday, March 21, 2015
2015 College Basketball Anti-Picks, Round 2
Record Last Round: 6-18
Total Outlay: $1,825.00
Total Winnings: $894.10
Total Loss: $930.90
OK, I'm now glad I was not in Las Vegas for the beginning of the tournament. Four of my six wins came in the afternoon session on Thursday, so it was pretty much downhill from there. The upsets that I thought were going to happen, at least according to the Giant Killers Blog on ESPN.com, did not materialize, yet the upsets that did happen (which also occurred Thursday afternoon) were largely overlooked.
Although I faced a huge hole coming into this weekend regardless, the spread losses to Stephen F. Austin (+6 1/2) and Wichita St. (-5 1/2) really hurt because the margins of victory were, respectively, seven and six points. Goddamn hook.
---
With that I pick myself off the dust of the earth, realize this is all fake, try and take pleasure in believing that someone was in Vegas and bet the opposite of me and thus has a huge payday, and go again, lamenting that, as of press time, the lines (at least on Covers) still do not have odds for four games on Sunday. (Also, there are no Moneyline odds for Sunday, so the Shockers M/L, 8), were taken from Doc's Sports.) Why don't they? What is this, 1997?
1) Ohio St. +9 $100
2) Ohio St. M/L +404 $50
3) Georgia St. +7 1/2 $100
4) Georgia St. M/L +274 $50
5) Utah -4 1/2 $200
6) Butler +4 1/2 $150
7) Wichita St. +2 $100
8) Wichita St. M/L +115 $50
9) West Virginia Pick 'Em $100
10) Parlay 2) with 8), for $150
11) Parlay 1), 3) and 7), for $100
Good luck!
Friday, March 20, 2015
Addendum To: This Year's (Almost) Last Bracketology
So, did they get it right?
No, not exactly.
From what I can tell, according to this story I saw on ESPN.com, these are the teams that the NCAA Tournament Committee deemed were on the cut line:
All in all, seems as if the prognosticators were more wrong this year than in years past.
One other thought: The four teams comprising the #1 seeds in the Not Invited Tournament are all from non-BcS schools. And Bracketologists thought that two of those schools, Temple and Colorado St., would get in in place of two BcS schools, Ole Miss and UCLA. Hmmm. ...
No, not exactly.
From what I can tell, according to this story I saw on ESPN.com, these are the teams that the NCAA Tournament Committee deemed were on the cut line:
- The Real Team 64: UCLA
- Apparently the Play-In Teams Are, In Order: Boise St., Ole Miss, BYU, Dayton
- The Real Last Four Out, In Order: Temple, Colorado St., Old Dominion, Richmond
All in all, seems as if the prognosticators were more wrong this year than in years past.
One other thought: The four teams comprising the #1 seeds in the Not Invited Tournament are all from non-BcS schools. And Bracketologists thought that two of those schools, Temple and Colorado St., would get in in place of two BcS schools, Ole Miss and UCLA. Hmmm. ...
Thursday, March 19, 2015
The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey
#-1: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: -3).
OK, so my fears that this club would get upset at home over RIT proved to be unfounded (although I think I have a right to point out that the two goals they gave up were more than the one or zero goals the other three teams congregating in Minneapolis this week yielded in their quarterfinal match-ups).
So this is it. This is it. This is for all the marbles. We start with two Frozen Four semifinal matchups on Friday that, for some reason, the NCAA Tournament Committee turned into a derby for the two places in the United States women's hockey has a toehold: the Upper Midwest and Massachusetts. Also in their puzzling logic, the Minnesota-Wisconsin game (featuring the first vs. the fourth seed, which is also kind of puzzling) is the early game, puck drop for which is 5, which is usual time people get off of work, even on a Friday. Shouldn't this game come after Boston College-Harvard, which is going to start approximately around 8? It's not a school night, so the game letting out at around 10 in the evening won't be a big deal.
But back to the weekend. Win over the Badgers and the team sets up what appeared all season to be the inevitable showdown with the Golden Eagles. And since this is at Ridder Arena, Minnesota can't ask for a better setup. They'd better win, dammit.
#-2: Gopher softball (Last Week: Positive Numbers). Meanwhile, the Golden Gopher softball team has won their second consecutive tournament, the Fresno St. Classic. Again, there were no world-beaters over the weekend, but they did trounce South Dakota St. to open the tourney 20-3 (in five innings) and close the tourney with a 1-0 win over Cal Poly (in eight) on a game-winning single by Tyler Walker. Add to it an 8-1 victory over Cal yesterday (Wednesday) and that means that the team is on a ten-game winning streak. The clash with Michigan now pits No. 4 (the Wolverines) against No. 15 (Minnesota). Sara Groenewegen was named conference Pitcher Of The Week for the third time this season for going 3-0 for the tournament, including going the distance in the extra-inning thriller against the Mustangs. They start Big Ten play with three in Illinois this weekend.
#-3: Wild (Last Week: -1). They lost to Anaheim at home, but they soundly defeated St. Louis 3-1 and Nashville in Overtime 3-2, both on the road. That defeat technically meant that they can't be the best this week, but there is another reason they're at -3: Despite being the hottest club in the National Hockey League and opening up a four-point lead on ninth place in the Western Conference Playoffs, they are still only Wild Card 1. I'm not totally complaining; I still remember when the first two rounds of the Stanley Cup Playoffs were intra-division, and that made the league so special. But for all their success they remain a full seven points behind Central Division third-place Chicago. So it looks like they are going to face the first-place team in the Central, whoever it may be.
I can see the bottom of the schedule on the website from here. The first of four games this screening week begins right now, as they host Washington. They also host the Blues before visiting Toronto and, for the final time, the decrepit Nassau Coliseum in a tilt against the very surprising New York Islanders.
#-4: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -4). Turns out the club needed that home sweep of Penn St. last weekend. Not only did the easy sweep (scores of 5-0 and 6-2) give them their second consecutive B1G regular season crown, it improved their PairWise ranking. Not to say that they're in the clear; far from it. According to this blog I've stumbled upon by this college hockey maven named Jim Dahl, they have only a 5% chance of reaching the NCAA Tournament if they lose Friday's matchup against either Michigan or Wisconsin, and only a 35% chance if they win. The Big Ten remains extremely weak; they are the only team that could make the Ice Dance as an at-large, and I don't know if they can count on that.
On the upside it seems as if they have found their early-season form; the club swept the conference's Three Stars for the week, and Mike Reilly has recently been named First Team All-Conference, B1G Defensive Player Of The Year, and a finalist for the Hobey Baker Award. But like with the Wild, they may have dug themselves such a big hole in the middle of the season that they have no room for error.
The conference started its tournament this (Thursday) evening; the Gophs play the Wolverines or the Badgers tomorrow (Friday).
#-5: Gopher baseball (Last Week: 0). Loss-win-loss-win-loss. Went 1-2 in the PK5 Classic, then split a pair at Richmond; getting a 13-2 shellacking Wednesday after nipping the Spiders 13-12 St. Patrick's Day. They begin conference play at Maryland this weekend.
#-6: Swarm (Re-Entry!). OK, now this is the Smarm I (unfortunately) know and have come to resent. With back-to-back losses at home to New England and in Colorado, they are now on a five-game losing streak. Saturday's loss to The Bastard Philadelphia Wings came with a goal by Kevin Crowley with just about a minute left in the fourth quarter.
Are the Arlottas still running this team on the cheap? This team seems to be in a continual youth movement, and the results seem to bear this out. Maybe they should stop going young if they want to win. Then again, if 8,912 people actually saw this team lose and go to 3-6 on the year, why spend money on a good club?
The loss to the Mammoth began a three-game road trip. They face Buffalo Saturday.
#-7: Timberwolves (Last Week: -5). An 0-4 screening week. A six-game losing streak. The bloom is off the rose of The Return Of Kevin Garnett ... if people remember that he's still on the team with however many games he is sitting out for rest. Hey, the squad has to be glad it's tournament time -- no one is paying attention to them!
Another four-game week. Right now they are playing New York at Madison Square Garden. Then a tough back-to-back of home to Charlotte Sunday and at Utah Monday, then finally a game back at Target Center against The Bastard Minneapolis Lakers Wednesday. Away-home-away-home? Who makes this schedule?
#-8: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -6). Well, at least the Bracketologists were right. Minnesota did receive an 8-seed upon its return to the Big Dance for the first time since 2009, like the two Bracketologists I followed said they would get. Unfortunately, that means a potential date with the 1-seed in the Round of 32, in this case Notre Dame.
But the draw gave the Gophs another bad wrinkle: Their first round opponent, 9-seed DePaul, has, according to Five Thirty Eight, a 77% chance of beating them. Really? They have Amanda Zahui B., named First-Team All-American -- First-Team Fucking All-American! -- by espnW. And they're going to go one-and-done?! Wow, that sucks. To go from potentially hosting the first two rounds to one-and-done? SMH.
Well, either it's tomorrow (Friday) afternoon or Sunday, it looks like this team's season is over this weekend. But hey, congratulations on getting back to the Big Dance! That's a hell of a lot better than ...
#-Infinity: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -2). OK, so the miracle run in the B1G Tournament ended with a loss against Ohio St. But I swear I thought they were going to make the Not Invited Tournament! Hell, this NIT Bracketologist said they were in! But I guess finishing eleventh in a BcS conference doesn't get you in. Pffft. Hey, at least they have enough dignity to not enter the College Basketball Invitational, which I guess is pay-to-play.
It's interesting: If everything we all assumed came to fruition and the Goofs got into the NIT, we would be all, "Man, weren't they supposed to be in the NCAAs this year? They won the NIT, and now they're back! What the fuck!" But now that they didn't even return to it -- not because they graduated to the Big Dance, but because they weren't even fucking good enough to defend their consolation title!!! -- we're all up in arms, like, "What the fuck is wrong with Richard Pitino?! He had a senior-laden team and they're not fucking playing anywhere?!?!"
Very fair point. The honeymoon is over for Pitino too. In fact, with a bunch of underclassmen and junior college players coming in next year, he is on the hot seat. And he should be.
OK, so my fears that this club would get upset at home over RIT proved to be unfounded (although I think I have a right to point out that the two goals they gave up were more than the one or zero goals the other three teams congregating in Minneapolis this week yielded in their quarterfinal match-ups).
So this is it. This is it. This is for all the marbles. We start with two Frozen Four semifinal matchups on Friday that, for some reason, the NCAA Tournament Committee turned into a derby for the two places in the United States women's hockey has a toehold: the Upper Midwest and Massachusetts. Also in their puzzling logic, the Minnesota-Wisconsin game (featuring the first vs. the fourth seed, which is also kind of puzzling) is the early game, puck drop for which is 5, which is usual time people get off of work, even on a Friday. Shouldn't this game come after Boston College-Harvard, which is going to start approximately around 8? It's not a school night, so the game letting out at around 10 in the evening won't be a big deal.
But back to the weekend. Win over the Badgers and the team sets up what appeared all season to be the inevitable showdown with the Golden Eagles. And since this is at Ridder Arena, Minnesota can't ask for a better setup. They'd better win, dammit.
#-2: Gopher softball (Last Week: Positive Numbers). Meanwhile, the Golden Gopher softball team has won their second consecutive tournament, the Fresno St. Classic. Again, there were no world-beaters over the weekend, but they did trounce South Dakota St. to open the tourney 20-3 (in five innings) and close the tourney with a 1-0 win over Cal Poly (in eight) on a game-winning single by Tyler Walker. Add to it an 8-1 victory over Cal yesterday (Wednesday) and that means that the team is on a ten-game winning streak. The clash with Michigan now pits No. 4 (the Wolverines) against No. 15 (Minnesota). Sara Groenewegen was named conference Pitcher Of The Week for the third time this season for going 3-0 for the tournament, including going the distance in the extra-inning thriller against the Mustangs. They start Big Ten play with three in Illinois this weekend.
#-3: Wild (Last Week: -1). They lost to Anaheim at home, but they soundly defeated St. Louis 3-1 and Nashville in Overtime 3-2, both on the road. That defeat technically meant that they can't be the best this week, but there is another reason they're at -3: Despite being the hottest club in the National Hockey League and opening up a four-point lead on ninth place in the Western Conference Playoffs, they are still only Wild Card 1. I'm not totally complaining; I still remember when the first two rounds of the Stanley Cup Playoffs were intra-division, and that made the league so special. But for all their success they remain a full seven points behind Central Division third-place Chicago. So it looks like they are going to face the first-place team in the Central, whoever it may be.
I can see the bottom of the schedule on the website from here. The first of four games this screening week begins right now, as they host Washington. They also host the Blues before visiting Toronto and, for the final time, the decrepit Nassau Coliseum in a tilt against the very surprising New York Islanders.
#-4: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -4). Turns out the club needed that home sweep of Penn St. last weekend. Not only did the easy sweep (scores of 5-0 and 6-2) give them their second consecutive B1G regular season crown, it improved their PairWise ranking. Not to say that they're in the clear; far from it. According to this blog I've stumbled upon by this college hockey maven named Jim Dahl, they have only a 5% chance of reaching the NCAA Tournament if they lose Friday's matchup against either Michigan or Wisconsin, and only a 35% chance if they win. The Big Ten remains extremely weak; they are the only team that could make the Ice Dance as an at-large, and I don't know if they can count on that.
On the upside it seems as if they have found their early-season form; the club swept the conference's Three Stars for the week, and Mike Reilly has recently been named First Team All-Conference, B1G Defensive Player Of The Year, and a finalist for the Hobey Baker Award. But like with the Wild, they may have dug themselves such a big hole in the middle of the season that they have no room for error.
The conference started its tournament this (Thursday) evening; the Gophs play the Wolverines or the Badgers tomorrow (Friday).
#-5: Gopher baseball (Last Week: 0). Loss-win-loss-win-loss. Went 1-2 in the PK5 Classic, then split a pair at Richmond; getting a 13-2 shellacking Wednesday after nipping the Spiders 13-12 St. Patrick's Day. They begin conference play at Maryland this weekend.
#-6: Swarm (Re-Entry!). OK, now this is the Smarm I (unfortunately) know and have come to resent. With back-to-back losses at home to New England and in Colorado, they are now on a five-game losing streak. Saturday's loss to The Bastard Philadelphia Wings came with a goal by Kevin Crowley with just about a minute left in the fourth quarter.
Are the Arlottas still running this team on the cheap? This team seems to be in a continual youth movement, and the results seem to bear this out. Maybe they should stop going young if they want to win. Then again, if 8,912 people actually saw this team lose and go to 3-6 on the year, why spend money on a good club?
The loss to the Mammoth began a three-game road trip. They face Buffalo Saturday.
#-7: Timberwolves (Last Week: -5). An 0-4 screening week. A six-game losing streak. The bloom is off the rose of The Return Of Kevin Garnett ... if people remember that he's still on the team with however many games he is sitting out for rest. Hey, the squad has to be glad it's tournament time -- no one is paying attention to them!
Another four-game week. Right now they are playing New York at Madison Square Garden. Then a tough back-to-back of home to Charlotte Sunday and at Utah Monday, then finally a game back at Target Center against The Bastard Minneapolis Lakers Wednesday. Away-home-away-home? Who makes this schedule?
#-8: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -6). Well, at least the Bracketologists were right. Minnesota did receive an 8-seed upon its return to the Big Dance for the first time since 2009, like the two Bracketologists I followed said they would get. Unfortunately, that means a potential date with the 1-seed in the Round of 32, in this case Notre Dame.
But the draw gave the Gophs another bad wrinkle: Their first round opponent, 9-seed DePaul, has, according to Five Thirty Eight, a 77% chance of beating them. Really? They have Amanda Zahui B., named First-Team All-American -- First-Team Fucking All-American! -- by espnW. And they're going to go one-and-done?! Wow, that sucks. To go from potentially hosting the first two rounds to one-and-done? SMH.
Well, either it's tomorrow (Friday) afternoon or Sunday, it looks like this team's season is over this weekend. But hey, congratulations on getting back to the Big Dance! That's a hell of a lot better than ...
#-Infinity: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -2). OK, so the miracle run in the B1G Tournament ended with a loss against Ohio St. But I swear I thought they were going to make the Not Invited Tournament! Hell, this NIT Bracketologist said they were in! But I guess finishing eleventh in a BcS conference doesn't get you in. Pffft. Hey, at least they have enough dignity to not enter the College Basketball Invitational, which I guess is pay-to-play.
It's interesting: If everything we all assumed came to fruition and the Goofs got into the NIT, we would be all, "Man, weren't they supposed to be in the NCAAs this year? They won the NIT, and now they're back! What the fuck!" But now that they didn't even return to it -- not because they graduated to the Big Dance, but because they weren't even fucking good enough to defend their consolation title!!! -- we're all up in arms, like, "What the fuck is wrong with Richard Pitino?! He had a senior-laden team and they're not fucking playing anywhere?!?!"
Very fair point. The honeymoon is over for Pitino too. In fact, with a bunch of underclassmen and junior college players coming in next year, he is on the hot seat. And he should be.
2015 College Basketball Anti-Picks, Round 1
I forgot to do this for football season, but I hope to do it for all rounds of March Madness. Spread lines come courtesy of Covers except for Moneyline bets for Friday, which for some reason Covers doesn't have but Doc's Sports does. I wanted to find the line for Providence-Dayton, but I can't find it because 1) the Flyers won Wednesday's play-in game and therefore 2) the Internet doesn't have the line up yet. You would think that with the Internet and the demand for bettors to wager on a game as soon as possible, they would have a line ready once the play-in game was over. Silly me.
1) Northeastern +11 1/2 $100
2) Texas Southern +23 1/2 $50
3) Texas -1 1/2 $100
4) UCLA +4 $100
5) UCLA M/L +161 $50
6) Ole Miss +3 $100
7) Ole Miss M/L +138 $50
8) Stephen F. Austin +6 1/2 $100
9) Stephen F. Austin M/L +244 $50
10) Eastern Washington +8 $100
11) Eastern Washington M/L +314 $50
12) Georgia +5 1/2 $100
13) Georgia M/L +203 $50
14) Wyoming +6 $100
15) Wyoming M/L +233 $50
16) Wichita St. -5 1/2 $150
17) Valparaiso +4 1/2 $100
18) Valparaiso M/L +178 $50
19) Oklahoma St. +1 1/2 $100
20) Oklahoma St. M/L +106 $50
21) Albany +13 $50
22) Parlay 4), 6) and 17), for $100.
23) Parlay 3), 8), 10), 14) and 19), for $50.
24) M/L parlay: Tie in 5), 7), 9), 11), 13), 15), 18) and 20), for $25.
Good luck!
1) Northeastern +11 1/2 $100
2) Texas Southern +23 1/2 $50
3) Texas -1 1/2 $100
4) UCLA +4 $100
5) UCLA M/L +161 $50
6) Ole Miss +3 $100
7) Ole Miss M/L +138 $50
8) Stephen F. Austin +6 1/2 $100
9) Stephen F. Austin M/L +244 $50
10) Eastern Washington +8 $100
11) Eastern Washington M/L +314 $50
12) Georgia +5 1/2 $100
13) Georgia M/L +203 $50
14) Wyoming +6 $100
15) Wyoming M/L +233 $50
16) Wichita St. -5 1/2 $150
17) Valparaiso +4 1/2 $100
18) Valparaiso M/L +178 $50
19) Oklahoma St. +1 1/2 $100
20) Oklahoma St. M/L +106 $50
21) Albany +13 $50
22) Parlay 4), 6) and 17), for $100.
23) Parlay 3), 8), 10), 14) and 19), for $50.
24) M/L parlay: Tie in 5), 7), 9), 11), 13), 15), 18) and 20), for $25.
Good luck!
Wednesday, March 18, 2015
Addendum To: So ... Just A Ground Wire?
It's not stalling as badly as it did when I finally brought it into The Other Mechanic Around The Corner. But I think it did stall -- once, after making a right turn, onto a busy street on my way to filling up the gas tank before coming home yesterday. (It seemed to also not go when I stepped on the gas pedal a couple times as well.) That may have been because I was just about empty, but in happier times, I was running on empty before and it didn't do that. So maybe it's not completely fixed, or it's not fixed at all.
Fuck my life. I have to use this car again to drive me to work. Wish me luck.
Fuck my life. I have to use this car again to drive me to work. Wish me luck.
Tuesday, March 17, 2015
McUpsell? McScrewjob?
OK, this is kind of pissing me off because I think this is a thing now. After work I stopped by McDonald's to get a Shamrock Shake because it's my birthday. It costs $3.50, and I didn't think anything of it because it's a seasonal item. But then when I get the shake it's in what I think is a medium size. I just assumed it was going to be a small. I thought maybe I was wrong, but then the family behind me, also ordering Shamrock Shakes (I think the father said they were Irish) asked about sizes, and the girl who helped me took out the small size, which is exactly the size I thought a small would be, which is the size I thought I had ordered.
So I got screwed over and was given, and charged for, a size I didn't ask for. I would have bitched about it, but 1) I needed to get home for dinner and didn't have time, and 2) eh, it's my birthday and I like Shamrock Shakes, let's just go with it. But -- and this is the important thing -- I think this is the second time in recent months that McDonald's, or at least a fast food restaurant, has automatically given me a medium-sized something when I wanted a small-sized something. I did not specify the size of Shamrock Shake I wanted; therefore, it seems as if in a case like this, the person at the register automatically charges me for the not-smallest size. And that really grinds my gears. I mean, do they have any right to just assume that I want a medium instead of a large? Are customers usually like that? Were there enough people going, "Hey, why did you give me a small, dammit? I wanted a fucking medium!" that that has now become the default? Because I for one always mean small when I get something. If I want a damn medium, I would fuckin' say so.
Seriously, is this how it's done these days? That boggles my mind. If this automatic upselling is indeed the way McDonald's and other fast food joints do it, we need to know about it, stat. Because this is nothing but a damn screw job!
So I got screwed over and was given, and charged for, a size I didn't ask for. I would have bitched about it, but 1) I needed to get home for dinner and didn't have time, and 2) eh, it's my birthday and I like Shamrock Shakes, let's just go with it. But -- and this is the important thing -- I think this is the second time in recent months that McDonald's, or at least a fast food restaurant, has automatically given me a medium-sized something when I wanted a small-sized something. I did not specify the size of Shamrock Shake I wanted; therefore, it seems as if in a case like this, the person at the register automatically charges me for the not-smallest size. And that really grinds my gears. I mean, do they have any right to just assume that I want a medium instead of a large? Are customers usually like that? Were there enough people going, "Hey, why did you give me a small, dammit? I wanted a fucking medium!" that that has now become the default? Because I for one always mean small when I get something. If I want a damn medium, I would fuckin' say so.
Seriously, is this how it's done these days? That boggles my mind. If this automatic upselling is indeed the way McDonald's and other fast food joints do it, we need to know about it, stat. Because this is nothing but a damn screw job!
So ... Just A Ground Wire?
Brought the car in yesterday (Monday), and thankfully -- finally! -- the problem recurred with The Mechanic Around The Corner enough times to finally pinpoint the problem. And no, it's no the fuel pump or the fuel filter or the throttle position sensor or the mass air flow sensor or the wires or the cap and distributor or the spark plugs.
No, it's a ground wire. One of I guess many, streaming from the back of the engine, connected to the sensor. The main mechanic at the shop hooked up diagnostic tools to my car and he drove it all around the Twin Cities, and he noticed that whenever my car was hesitating, the sensors didn't read. A classic case of a bad ground, he says, something common with Japanese cars like mine. They came in and just replaced what looked to be the bad wire. Geez, that doesn't seem too complicated a fix. In fact, why didn't you guys just go to that immediately?
At any rate, I got the car back in the afternoon. They told me not to pay for it for now. He thinks that's the problem, but he wants me to drive it around for a couple days to see if it will still hesitate. If not, I can pay later this week. That, ladies and gentlemen, is customer service.
So, fingers crossed, I have nothing to worry about. Nevertheless I don't know if I want to be stuck in morning rush hour with this car, at least not until I can test it on the road for a day. I should get going now.
Further complication: It's my birthday today. It's also a day where Father is having surgery. So maybe it's best for me not to take advantage (too much) of overtime. I plan on coming home a little earlier, but that means I get sucked into afternoon rush hour. Hope that my car doesn't seize up ahead of onrushing traffic. Wish me luck.
No, it's a ground wire. One of I guess many, streaming from the back of the engine, connected to the sensor. The main mechanic at the shop hooked up diagnostic tools to my car and he drove it all around the Twin Cities, and he noticed that whenever my car was hesitating, the sensors didn't read. A classic case of a bad ground, he says, something common with Japanese cars like mine. They came in and just replaced what looked to be the bad wire. Geez, that doesn't seem too complicated a fix. In fact, why didn't you guys just go to that immediately?
At any rate, I got the car back in the afternoon. They told me not to pay for it for now. He thinks that's the problem, but he wants me to drive it around for a couple days to see if it will still hesitate. If not, I can pay later this week. That, ladies and gentlemen, is customer service.
So, fingers crossed, I have nothing to worry about. Nevertheless I don't know if I want to be stuck in morning rush hour with this car, at least not until I can test it on the road for a day. I should get going now.
Further complication: It's my birthday today. It's also a day where Father is having surgery. So maybe it's best for me not to take advantage (too much) of overtime. I plan on coming home a little earlier, but that means I get sucked into afternoon rush hour. Hope that my car doesn't seize up ahead of onrushing traffic. Wish me luck.
Monday, March 16, 2015
Sniveling Little Bitch
Went to Dairy Queen just now because it's Free Cone Day. Today, I guess, is the 75th anniversary of its birth. Line of cars at the drive-thru, so we decided to go inside and get our free cone. There was a 20-minute wait, so we decided to take the free coupon and use it another day.
OK, saying that -- look, you stupid little girl:
Ugh! Pisses me off.
Rant over.
OK, saying that -- look, you stupid little girl:
- Don't loiter at the front of your parents' car and then saunter over to the front door just as we're approaching it;
- Hold the front door open for those behind you, YOU BITCH;
- When someone's approaching the door from the other side, and they have their hands full with, oh, free ice cream cones, let them through first instead of sneaking through the door in front of you -- and then not holding the door open for them;
- Stop looking back at your folks with that innocent, doe-eyed, overrated-Aubrey Plaza-in-that-overrated-Parks And Recreation gaze. Start looking out for other people, goddammit!
Ugh! Pisses me off.
Rant over.
A Positive Double-Bind?
So since my car seized up on me Friday, the problems have gotten more frequent -- slightly, but definitely so. Nevertheless, my hope that it'd be strong enough to take me to work and then to the alumni event Saturday came true; it drove just fine. In fact it drove fine when I went back out in the evening to the MNRG event in St. Paul, then to My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Version) in Minneapolis.
But then, on my way to My Favorite Late-Night Italian Place it started to stall on me, this time on the highway. So my theory that it often happens only when my car starts out was discredited, at least on that trip. Furthermore, when I went out Sunday afternoon to the library (to print out my parents' history of the stocks they sold off last year, for tax purposes) and then to the Twin Cities Auto Show, it acted up a few times, to the point where I was kind of afraid I wouldn't make it home.
It did. So I may be in a situation where, believe it or not, I can't lose. I am dropping off the car today before I head off to work. I'm going to tell them to drive it hard and cross my fingers they see and feel what I got the past few days. My thinking is, if they do find something, it can finally be fixed, and if they can't, well, I think that means I can still drive it -- well, assuming that I don't stall in the middle of traffic, which I can't say won't happen.
You know, when I started blogging this I thought I couldn't lose. But on second thought, maybe I should just hope that they're able to diagnose something and get it fixed today. Cross your fingers.
But then, on my way to My Favorite Late-Night Italian Place it started to stall on me, this time on the highway. So my theory that it often happens only when my car starts out was discredited, at least on that trip. Furthermore, when I went out Sunday afternoon to the library (to print out my parents' history of the stocks they sold off last year, for tax purposes) and then to the Twin Cities Auto Show, it acted up a few times, to the point where I was kind of afraid I wouldn't make it home.
It did. So I may be in a situation where, believe it or not, I can't lose. I am dropping off the car today before I head off to work. I'm going to tell them to drive it hard and cross my fingers they see and feel what I got the past few days. My thinking is, if they do find something, it can finally be fixed, and if they can't, well, I think that means I can still drive it -- well, assuming that I don't stall in the middle of traffic, which I can't say won't happen.
You know, when I started blogging this I thought I couldn't lose. But on second thought, maybe I should just hope that they're able to diagnose something and get it fixed today. Cross your fingers.
Sunday, March 15, 2015
This Year's (Almost) Last Bracketology
I've been so busy Selection Sunday kind of snuck up on me. But I got to it.
According to bracketology aggregator The Bracket Matrix (even though it says it hasn't updated since last night, even though he or she has put in bold Arizona and Cal-Irvine, the two teams that won auto-bids late Saturday night), here are the bubble teams, in order:
Of the five conference title games being played this afternoon, only one team is a potential bid thief, a team that would get into the NCAA Tournament with a win but absolutely would not get in as an at-large if they lose: defending champion UConn. If the Huskies beat SMU -- and I kind of think they will -- and assuming The Bracket Matrix does not update between now and then (I'm busy this afternoon, so I don't know if I'll be able to revisit this before the field is announced at 5 Central Time), it'll be Indiana that is thrown out of the tournament ... and the Longhorns would then be forced to play the Play-In Game.
(ETA at 1:45 p.m.: Stayed here long enough for it to update. Here is the new aggregation:
Real Last Four In: Oklahoma St., LSU, Purdue, TexasPlay-In Games: Temple, Boise St., BYU, IndianaLast Four Out (Not First Four Out ... this year I see every bracketologist saying First, not Last, and that's simply not accurate ... how are the teams that just missed The Big Dance called the First Four Out? Do you mean to tell me the NCAA Tournament Committee took these four teams and, say, Grambling, a team that finished winless in its conference and a record of 2-27 overall, and said that the following four teams were deemed the first not to make the tourney? That Grambling receives more consideration to get into the tournament than these four? That makes no stupid fucking sense!): Ole Miss, UCLA, Tulsa, Miami
(ETA at 1:45 p.m.: Stayed here long enough for it to update. Here is the new aggregation:
- Real Last Four In: Colorado St., Texas, LSU, Purdue
- Play-In Games: Temple, Boise St., BYU, Indiana
- Last Four Out: Ole Miss, UCLA, Miami, Tulsa
Ice-Out
Just for the record, the snow was completely gone (at least from our front yard) by Thursday, March 12.
Saturday, March 14, 2015
OK, NOW My Car Is Going To Kill Me
Oh my fucking God, my car's getting worse. Drove onto a busy street and immediately the car wouldn't respond to my acceleration. And it lasted longer than before. I don't know how long it was, but I can tell you this: I had to pull over onto a side street to make sure I absolutely could not drive the thing and would have to call AAA. Eventually, after parking for a second, I got it to go.
However it got worse. I was driving on the highway when the goddamn stalling started. And I felt it was worse than previous times. This was longer, and harder to get out of. Even worse, I was coming up on an incline, so I truly was decelerating at this point. Once again I had to pull over -- this time on the highway shoulder -- before I could be convinced that when I revved up the engine the car would actually go. And it did, even though (and I say this as the main driver of this car's entire existence) it sure as hell didn't sound like it did even a day before.
I have dismissed repeated that it was obviously a fuel issue, but I was running on empty, so to make absolutely sure, I moved "getting gasoline for my car" up my to-do-list-coming-home and found the nearest station. Observation: My tank can hold up to about 18 gallons, but even though I only poured in ten, my gas gauge went from "E" to three-quarters fuel. Is that something? Anyway, I was scared shitless that the stalling would come back, but from this station (which basically was east Maple Grove) and with a stopover at picking up allergy spray that my insurance didn't cover, my car operated fine coming home.
As shitty and scary as the trip home was, I have to thank my lucky stars for one thing: I decided to stay late for work. I got out at 6, and I was surprised at how clear traffic on the way home was. My God, if I had car trouble this bad if I left in the teeth of afternoon rush hour. ... That makes me think that it would be a good idea, for my safety, to take advantage of extended/overtime hours with this project and leave at 6, either until my car smooths out or until The Other Mechanic Around The Corner finally finds what the fuck is wrong with it.
On the flipside, my luck can't get any worse. I planned on coming in to work this (Saturday) morning, if only for 90 minutes, before heading out to the alumni event, because I need the money. I cannot break down on my way to the alumni event. I can't. So I'm in mortal fear that I get to work just fine, but I can't get from there to the event. So I really am debating whether I should even (let alone am able to) go to work in the morning. I would be making a lot of trouble for my bosses at the test scoring project, but they'll understand a broke-down car. The members of my alumni group won't forgive me not being able to make the event I bleepin' set up. And neither could I.
Moreover, Sunday night we are going out to eat, and there is a possibility we are using my car. Oh, and on Tuesday My Father is having surgery downtown in the morning -- right around the time I would be going to work. So I think I'll have to wake up early in the morning so he doesn't see my car stalling down the street.
Look, if they can't find what's wrong with my car soon, I might have to get rid of the thing. But I might not have a choice if the fucking thing stalls on the highway again. That truly frightens the hell out of me.
Pray for me, please.
However it got worse. I was driving on the highway when the goddamn stalling started. And I felt it was worse than previous times. This was longer, and harder to get out of. Even worse, I was coming up on an incline, so I truly was decelerating at this point. Once again I had to pull over -- this time on the highway shoulder -- before I could be convinced that when I revved up the engine the car would actually go. And it did, even though (and I say this as the main driver of this car's entire existence) it sure as hell didn't sound like it did even a day before.
I have dismissed repeated that it was obviously a fuel issue, but I was running on empty, so to make absolutely sure, I moved "getting gasoline for my car" up my to-do-list-coming-home and found the nearest station. Observation: My tank can hold up to about 18 gallons, but even though I only poured in ten, my gas gauge went from "E" to three-quarters fuel. Is that something? Anyway, I was scared shitless that the stalling would come back, but from this station (which basically was east Maple Grove) and with a stopover at picking up allergy spray that my insurance didn't cover, my car operated fine coming home.
As shitty and scary as the trip home was, I have to thank my lucky stars for one thing: I decided to stay late for work. I got out at 6, and I was surprised at how clear traffic on the way home was. My God, if I had car trouble this bad if I left in the teeth of afternoon rush hour. ... That makes me think that it would be a good idea, for my safety, to take advantage of extended/overtime hours with this project and leave at 6, either until my car smooths out or until The Other Mechanic Around The Corner finally finds what the fuck is wrong with it.
On the flipside, my luck can't get any worse. I planned on coming in to work this (Saturday) morning, if only for 90 minutes, before heading out to the alumni event, because I need the money. I cannot break down on my way to the alumni event. I can't. So I'm in mortal fear that I get to work just fine, but I can't get from there to the event. So I really am debating whether I should even (let alone am able to) go to work in the morning. I would be making a lot of trouble for my bosses at the test scoring project, but they'll understand a broke-down car. The members of my alumni group won't forgive me not being able to make the event I bleepin' set up. And neither could I.
Moreover, Sunday night we are going out to eat, and there is a possibility we are using my car. Oh, and on Tuesday My Father is having surgery downtown in the morning -- right around the time I would be going to work. So I think I'll have to wake up early in the morning so he doesn't see my car stalling down the street.
Look, if they can't find what's wrong with my car soon, I might have to get rid of the thing. But I might not have a choice if the fucking thing stalls on the highway again. That truly frightens the hell out of me.
Pray for me, please.
Friday, March 13, 2015
Making Mother Do All The Heavy Lifting
Last weekend Mother had a request for me: She saw that her brokerage form sent over the, uh, stock tax information and she needed help finding all the information on when and for how much the stocks Father sold in 2014 were bought. An arduous task, so I asked her if she could give me a week.
That was a damn mistake. I haven't had time to do it, what with work, coming home, doing chores, being so tired I went to sleep, blogging, preparing for this alumni event, etc. Moreover, I overlooked the obvious fact that Mother is retired. I don't have time to do it, but she sure does. And while she isn't an accountant, she is thorough and dogged, and thus able to pore through records to find the stocks she needs to look for. In other words, she should have just done it from the get-go -- and she has, all this week.
I told her she needed to remind me to do it, but honestly, I have been only mouthing that I'm going to do it this week when I know I'm not going to do it at all. On Monday she mentioned that she started working on it herself, and subconsciously I just thought, "Hey, if she's doing it, I don't have to!" and I kind of checked out after everything I had to do once I got home. Over the course of the week she asked for the piece of mail with the stock tax information back, and then she probably surmised that she was doing all of the work and by last (Thursday) night she basically said, "Fine, let me do it, you just check my English."
That's all I have time for, assuming Mother wants this all done by Monday. (She said Monday because she thinks their accountant needs time to look it over or something.) Maybe in retrospect I shouldn't have said I could do it, because I now feel guilty that I said I was going to help, and even though there are technically 48 hours left until her "deadline" I won't have time to help her at all. I hope she doesn't feel burdened; after all, I think it's quite apparent that she at least had the time to do everything. But I said I would and we both know I'm not, and I have this thing tomorrow and I have to go to the auto show on Sunday, and I'm going out Saturday night ... you know?
I'll just assume she did a good job and hope this all blows over.
That was a damn mistake. I haven't had time to do it, what with work, coming home, doing chores, being so tired I went to sleep, blogging, preparing for this alumni event, etc. Moreover, I overlooked the obvious fact that Mother is retired. I don't have time to do it, but she sure does. And while she isn't an accountant, she is thorough and dogged, and thus able to pore through records to find the stocks she needs to look for. In other words, she should have just done it from the get-go -- and she has, all this week.
I told her she needed to remind me to do it, but honestly, I have been only mouthing that I'm going to do it this week when I know I'm not going to do it at all. On Monday she mentioned that she started working on it herself, and subconsciously I just thought, "Hey, if she's doing it, I don't have to!" and I kind of checked out after everything I had to do once I got home. Over the course of the week she asked for the piece of mail with the stock tax information back, and then she probably surmised that she was doing all of the work and by last (Thursday) night she basically said, "Fine, let me do it, you just check my English."
That's all I have time for, assuming Mother wants this all done by Monday. (She said Monday because she thinks their accountant needs time to look it over or something.) Maybe in retrospect I shouldn't have said I could do it, because I now feel guilty that I said I was going to help, and even though there are technically 48 hours left until her "deadline" I won't have time to help her at all. I hope she doesn't feel burdened; after all, I think it's quite apparent that she at least had the time to do everything. But I said I would and we both know I'm not, and I have this thing tomorrow and I have to go to the auto show on Sunday, and I'm going out Saturday night ... you know?
I'll just assume she did a good job and hope this all blows over.
Thursday, March 12, 2015
The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey
Positive Numbers: Gopher softball (Last Week: -5). Sorry to run through this, but it's 8:30, I'm tired and I have a ton of shit I need to do, so this will be quick and very, very dirty.
It is early, and there may be something brewing with the local professional hockey team that is farther along its season that we should watch (I have them listed two spots below), but a 4-0 weekend is too hard to ignore when it comes to putting the Minnesota softball team on top. I thought Stanford is a good team, or at least it seems they should be a good team. But they swept all three games from them, including a mercy-ruled frogstomp Saturday. Oh, and you can sprinkle in a 9-6 victory over Santa Clara in there as well. Congratulations go out to 2B Danielle Parlich, named B1G Freshman Of The Week for having a .500 Batting Average with two RBI and three Stolen Bases (out of three attempts) over the weekend. So the banner touting the home season-opening series against Michigan shows a smaller number in front of Minnesota, 16. (Meanwhile the Wolverines dropped to fourth in the polls after losing to Florida and Arizona St., the latter of which the Golden Gophers beat February 21.)
This weekend they play the fifth and final tournament to open the season, the Fresno State Classic in beautiful Fresno, Calif. They face the host Bulldogs Saturday night, with games against South Dakota St., Pacific, Montana and Cal Poly sandwiched inbetween. They then squeeze in a one-off game Wednesday evening vs. Cal in Berkeley, Calif.
#0: Gopher baseball (Last Week: -1). Have to give the second spot to the Gopher Nine, even if they played only two games at Creighton. Both wins essentially bridge the ways a team can win. The first game was a 12-inning affair that the Gophers won 8-6. More impressive was the Sunday game, where they no-hit the Bluejays 9-0. It was a three-pitcher effort, where Dalton Sawyer went seven innings (walking four and hitting two) and Tyler Hanson and Lance Thonvold threw an inning each to preserve the program's first no-hitter since March 8, 2013, at the Metrodome against Western Illinois. (I remember that I wanted to go to that game but didn't. Damn shame.) More historic: It is the first ever no-hitter in the history of TD Ameritrade Park, which is not only the home field for Creighton but also the permanent host of the College World Series.
(By the way, Minnesota and Creighton were supposed to play one more game Sunday afternoon, but due to bad conditions they cancelled it. What's it like to be part of a college baseball program where it's more cost-effective to just say, "Eh, it's not worth it to play a game. Just go?" Oh well -- that's one game the squad can't lose.)
They are now in Richmond, Va. for the final non-conference week of the season. The first three games comprise the PK5 Classic. They play, in order, James Madison, Monmouth and host Virginia Commonwealth. They then stick around in the city to play a rare two-game weekday afternoon series against the Richmond Spiders.
#-1: Wild (Last Week: 0). OK, I know that this team has had the best record in the NHL since mid-January. I put them down here for three reasons: 1) both the U. softball and baseball teams went undefeated for the week; 2) they lost at home to Colorado, even though there are caveats galore with that particular game (this was the first game between these two teams after the dirty play to end the win the Wild had in Denver; the Avalanche desperately are trying to get back into the playoff race, Patrick Roy is an asshole); and they remain exactly where they were a week ago: Wild Card 1, which translates to seventh place. They are a lot farther away from the cut line, but the fact that a two-month hot streak still hasn't rocketed them up the standings shows how deep of a hole they dug themselves over the holidays. Nevertheless, yes, they are a good team, as wins at Washington and Carolina, followed by a home crushing of New Jersey after the loss to The Bastard Quebec Nordiques, attest. Hey, I looked at the two U. teams above and thought I could shift the top of the survey up to Positive Numbers this week, rendering the Wild where the club would be in a typical week if they were on top: -1!
How good will they look after a week playing Anaheim at home and St. Louis and Nashville on the road? All three teams are ahead of the Mild in the standings.
#-2: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -2). From here on out, I really could throw a dart at the remaining teams and I wouldn't bitch about the order. For the male Gopher ballers, their season of ignominy ended with two straight home losses, first to conference winner Wisconsin, then to Penn St., one of the worst teams (next to Minnesota) in the Big Ten. And what a crushing defeat that was: D.J. Newbill having the ball at a tie game with time winding down. In such a situation as this you know the guy isn't passing the ball. D up! Instead, Newbill drills a straightaway three from downtown and they wind up 6-12 in-conference for the season.
That neck-breaker of a defeat meant that the squad gave away the single bye they had. They finished eleventh in the conference and thus have to play all five days in the conference tournament. Therefore, they would have to do the impossible and win five games on consecutive days in order to clinch title and a spot in the NCAA Tournament we all thought they would be seasoned enough to get before the year began.
I am trying to finish this before they lose to Ohio St., the game of which is playing right now. Although I wonder if I should wait; that way I won't have to talk about this team next week.
#-3: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: -3). OK, I am really worried about this team. They got upset in the semifinals of the WCHA Tournament, one where they were overwhelming favorites, to Bemidji St. (The Beavers may have the Goofs' number; they beat Minnesota at Ridder earlier in the year, and by the same score of 1-0.) Is this the first time they've lost in the conference tourney as favorites? I guess so.
That was embarrassing, let alone unexpected, and I was really afraid that when they announced the field Sunday evening, Minnesota would have been dropped down to third overall seed. (Would have been deserved, too.) Imagine my surprise, then, when they were still named the #1 overall seed for the eight-team tournament.
But I'll be honest with you: There is, like a 10-5% chance that they will lose their quarterfinal match, against the Rochester Institute of Technology, I really do. That this Saturday afternoon match is being played at Ridder, the site of the rest of the NCAA tournament next week, would make this defeat as ironic and fitting (let alone crushing). Let's just cross our fingers that shit doesn't happen, shall we?
#-4: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -4). I don't know how the PairWise works, even though there it is a formula that is comprehensive enough to be thorough yet simple enough to be duplicated. If that's the case, last weekend's split at Ohio St. was more damaging than I thought. They apparently are now the Last Team In in the latest Bracketology on USCHO. I know the Buckeyes aren't that good, but I didn't think one loss to them was that damaging. But apparently it is.
Therefore, this weekend's series against Penn St. at Mariucci, the last of the regular season becomes very important -- until the following week's conference tournament in Detroit.
#-5: Timberwolves (Last Week: -8). Lost on the road against the Clippers and Phoenix, but won at home to start the screening week against Portland. It's the second time they've beaten the Trail Blazers, I think; guess the Woofie Dogs have the Blazers' number.
That's all I've got to say about them. This week: at Oklahoma City and San Antonio, home to Brooklyn, then at Toronto.
#-6: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -7). Now I'm worried about this team. They did precisely what they shouldn't have done: They got crushed against Ohio St. in the third round of the B1G Tourney, despite yet another triple-double by Amanda Zahui B. And playing by seed means they will stay right where they're projected to be, according to ESPN.com's Charlie Creme and College Sports Madness: An 8-seed. Moreover, both bracketologists believe they face a second-round matchup against the Borg of women's college basketball, UConn. Hell, at this point we have to worry whether they're going to win their first tournament game.
Oh well. They weren't going anywhere with Rachel Banham gone, and they weren't going to win a title even with her. But it's just so disheartening that a team that was on track to get a top-four seed and thus the right to play the first two rounds at home now face certain oblivion after the first weekend of the postseason. At least they made it, right?
#7: Gopher wrestling (Re-Entry!). Oh, and speaking of falls from grace ... the Gopher grapplers, once the toast of the conference and the #1 team in the nation, just finished third in the conference championships behind Iowa and Ohio St. Only Chris Dardanes was able to bring true pride to the program, winning the title at 133 pounds. And now they go to the NCAA Tournament in St. Louis a couple weeksago (ETA on 5:23 a.m. on March 19 that I meant to say "from now") with Dardanes seeded first, a three-seed in Dylan Ness -- and no goddamn chance that they'll revert to their previous form earlier in the season in time to win the team national title.
I was going to pair this program with the U. lady ballers, but at least I have come to terms with the true reality that that team wasn't going to win. This team was, and now they won't.
It is early, and there may be something brewing with the local professional hockey team that is farther along its season that we should watch (I have them listed two spots below), but a 4-0 weekend is too hard to ignore when it comes to putting the Minnesota softball team on top. I thought Stanford is a good team, or at least it seems they should be a good team. But they swept all three games from them, including a mercy-ruled frogstomp Saturday. Oh, and you can sprinkle in a 9-6 victory over Santa Clara in there as well. Congratulations go out to 2B Danielle Parlich, named B1G Freshman Of The Week for having a .500 Batting Average with two RBI and three Stolen Bases (out of three attempts) over the weekend. So the banner touting the home season-opening series against Michigan shows a smaller number in front of Minnesota, 16. (Meanwhile the Wolverines dropped to fourth in the polls after losing to Florida and Arizona St., the latter of which the Golden Gophers beat February 21.)
This weekend they play the fifth and final tournament to open the season, the Fresno State Classic in beautiful Fresno, Calif. They face the host Bulldogs Saturday night, with games against South Dakota St., Pacific, Montana and Cal Poly sandwiched inbetween. They then squeeze in a one-off game Wednesday evening vs. Cal in Berkeley, Calif.
#0: Gopher baseball (Last Week: -1). Have to give the second spot to the Gopher Nine, even if they played only two games at Creighton. Both wins essentially bridge the ways a team can win. The first game was a 12-inning affair that the Gophers won 8-6. More impressive was the Sunday game, where they no-hit the Bluejays 9-0. It was a three-pitcher effort, where Dalton Sawyer went seven innings (walking four and hitting two) and Tyler Hanson and Lance Thonvold threw an inning each to preserve the program's first no-hitter since March 8, 2013, at the Metrodome against Western Illinois. (I remember that I wanted to go to that game but didn't. Damn shame.) More historic: It is the first ever no-hitter in the history of TD Ameritrade Park, which is not only the home field for Creighton but also the permanent host of the College World Series.
(By the way, Minnesota and Creighton were supposed to play one more game Sunday afternoon, but due to bad conditions they cancelled it. What's it like to be part of a college baseball program where it's more cost-effective to just say, "Eh, it's not worth it to play a game. Just go?" Oh well -- that's one game the squad can't lose.)
They are now in Richmond, Va. for the final non-conference week of the season. The first three games comprise the PK5 Classic. They play, in order, James Madison, Monmouth and host Virginia Commonwealth. They then stick around in the city to play a rare two-game weekday afternoon series against the Richmond Spiders.
#-1: Wild (Last Week: 0). OK, I know that this team has had the best record in the NHL since mid-January. I put them down here for three reasons: 1) both the U. softball and baseball teams went undefeated for the week; 2) they lost at home to Colorado, even though there are caveats galore with that particular game (this was the first game between these two teams after the dirty play to end the win the Wild had in Denver; the Avalanche desperately are trying to get back into the playoff race, Patrick Roy is an asshole); and they remain exactly where they were a week ago: Wild Card 1, which translates to seventh place. They are a lot farther away from the cut line, but the fact that a two-month hot streak still hasn't rocketed them up the standings shows how deep of a hole they dug themselves over the holidays. Nevertheless, yes, they are a good team, as wins at Washington and Carolina, followed by a home crushing of New Jersey after the loss to The Bastard Quebec Nordiques, attest. Hey, I looked at the two U. teams above and thought I could shift the top of the survey up to Positive Numbers this week, rendering the Wild where the club would be in a typical week if they were on top: -1!
How good will they look after a week playing Anaheim at home and St. Louis and Nashville on the road? All three teams are ahead of the Mild in the standings.
#-2: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -2). From here on out, I really could throw a dart at the remaining teams and I wouldn't bitch about the order. For the male Gopher ballers, their season of ignominy ended with two straight home losses, first to conference winner Wisconsin, then to Penn St., one of the worst teams (next to Minnesota) in the Big Ten. And what a crushing defeat that was: D.J. Newbill having the ball at a tie game with time winding down. In such a situation as this you know the guy isn't passing the ball. D up! Instead, Newbill drills a straightaway three from downtown and they wind up 6-12 in-conference for the season.
That neck-breaker of a defeat meant that the squad gave away the single bye they had. They finished eleventh in the conference and thus have to play all five days in the conference tournament. Therefore, they would have to do the impossible and win five games on consecutive days in order to clinch title and a spot in the NCAA Tournament we all thought they would be seasoned enough to get before the year began.
I am trying to finish this before they lose to Ohio St., the game of which is playing right now. Although I wonder if I should wait; that way I won't have to talk about this team next week.
#-3: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: -3). OK, I am really worried about this team. They got upset in the semifinals of the WCHA Tournament, one where they were overwhelming favorites, to Bemidji St. (The Beavers may have the Goofs' number; they beat Minnesota at Ridder earlier in the year, and by the same score of 1-0.) Is this the first time they've lost in the conference tourney as favorites? I guess so.
That was embarrassing, let alone unexpected, and I was really afraid that when they announced the field Sunday evening, Minnesota would have been dropped down to third overall seed. (Would have been deserved, too.) Imagine my surprise, then, when they were still named the #1 overall seed for the eight-team tournament.
But I'll be honest with you: There is, like a 10-5% chance that they will lose their quarterfinal match, against the Rochester Institute of Technology, I really do. That this Saturday afternoon match is being played at Ridder, the site of the rest of the NCAA tournament next week, would make this defeat as ironic and fitting (let alone crushing). Let's just cross our fingers that shit doesn't happen, shall we?
#-4: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -4). I don't know how the PairWise works, even though there it is a formula that is comprehensive enough to be thorough yet simple enough to be duplicated. If that's the case, last weekend's split at Ohio St. was more damaging than I thought. They apparently are now the Last Team In in the latest Bracketology on USCHO. I know the Buckeyes aren't that good, but I didn't think one loss to them was that damaging. But apparently it is.
Therefore, this weekend's series against Penn St. at Mariucci, the last of the regular season becomes very important -- until the following week's conference tournament in Detroit.
#-5: Timberwolves (Last Week: -8). Lost on the road against the Clippers and Phoenix, but won at home to start the screening week against Portland. It's the second time they've beaten the Trail Blazers, I think; guess the Woofie Dogs have the Blazers' number.
That's all I've got to say about them. This week: at Oklahoma City and San Antonio, home to Brooklyn, then at Toronto.
#-6: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -7). Now I'm worried about this team. They did precisely what they shouldn't have done: They got crushed against Ohio St. in the third round of the B1G Tourney, despite yet another triple-double by Amanda Zahui B. And playing by seed means they will stay right where they're projected to be, according to ESPN.com's Charlie Creme and College Sports Madness: An 8-seed. Moreover, both bracketologists believe they face a second-round matchup against the Borg of women's college basketball, UConn. Hell, at this point we have to worry whether they're going to win their first tournament game.
Oh well. They weren't going anywhere with Rachel Banham gone, and they weren't going to win a title even with her. But it's just so disheartening that a team that was on track to get a top-four seed and thus the right to play the first two rounds at home now face certain oblivion after the first weekend of the postseason. At least they made it, right?
#7: Gopher wrestling (Re-Entry!). Oh, and speaking of falls from grace ... the Gopher grapplers, once the toast of the conference and the #1 team in the nation, just finished third in the conference championships behind Iowa and Ohio St. Only Chris Dardanes was able to bring true pride to the program, winning the title at 133 pounds. And now they go to the NCAA Tournament in St. Louis a couple weeks
I was going to pair this program with the U. lady ballers, but at least I have come to terms with the true reality that that team wasn't going to win. This team was, and now they won't.
Wednesday, March 11, 2015
The Antagonist Beside Me
Alright, this is fucking rich. The woman who sits next to me, the one who was all smiley and shit, struck up a conversation late yesterday (Tuesday) afternoon while we were down. She first asked me how long have I worked there.
And then she bashed me over the head with her bullshit. Out of nowhere, she said, "Let me give you some advice. ..." Huh? What? And then she proceeded to "advise" me that I should lay out the cookies and candy I have been eating out of the package onto a paper towel so I don't crinkle the packaging every time I reach in and eat one -- "otherwise one of the leaders might come around and talk to you about it."
Bullshit. It bothers you, you just went about telling me in a passive-aggressive way.
This is the fucking mealy, penny-ante way to undermine me that My Fucking Father does: Act as if you're making chit-chat, then really drop the bomb on me because that's all you really wanted to talk about. I see right through you, bitch.
I tried to give her a chance, to mitigate what I immediately saw as a problem with working through the rest of this project. I was going to say that I have a hard time doing it the way she says -- and will, hint-hint -- but before I could get to my point that laying out the cookies was a long and laborious process, and I have a thing with just laying out cookies I'm about to it because I then commit myself to eating them, she changed the subject; the papers finally came on-screen, so she looked away from me and exclaimed, "Oh, I got one!" and then she ignored me for the rest of the day.
Oh, wow, we are going to have a real fucking problem now, aren't we? I was just told, in no uncertain terms, that she didn't like the way I eat. And the fact that she was wilts in the face of confrontation -- when she was the one who initiated that confrontation -- means that I have a goddamn problem on my hands.
The obvious first question is to know if I'm bothering anyone -- well, besides her. If I'm not, then what should I do? I can't afford for her to escalate this by bringing in authority figures. But I'm also not going to knuckle under her requests, especially when she does it in such an underhanded, petty way. Then again, I'm not sure if reaching into my bags and eating something every five minutes just to piss her off is the right thing to do, either.
Things have to get chilly between me. That's it -- no more chitchat, no more hellos, not even a smile. You're not getting that. And I'm not sure, as I drive into work today, if I'm not going to just piss her off by completely ignoring her "advice."
Eh, I probably won't. Maybe I'll do what she says. Oh, God, I can't do that, either.
Man, all I fucking wanted to do was work and earn a paycheck in peace.
And then she bashed me over the head with her bullshit. Out of nowhere, she said, "Let me give you some advice. ..." Huh? What? And then she proceeded to "advise" me that I should lay out the cookies and candy I have been eating out of the package onto a paper towel so I don't crinkle the packaging every time I reach in and eat one -- "otherwise one of the leaders might come around and talk to you about it."
Bullshit. It bothers you, you just went about telling me in a passive-aggressive way.
This is the fucking mealy, penny-ante way to undermine me that My Fucking Father does: Act as if you're making chit-chat, then really drop the bomb on me because that's all you really wanted to talk about. I see right through you, bitch.
I tried to give her a chance, to mitigate what I immediately saw as a problem with working through the rest of this project. I was going to say that I have a hard time doing it the way she says -- and will, hint-hint -- but before I could get to my point that laying out the cookies was a long and laborious process, and I have a thing with just laying out cookies I'm about to it because I then commit myself to eating them, she changed the subject; the papers finally came on-screen, so she looked away from me and exclaimed, "Oh, I got one!" and then she ignored me for the rest of the day.
Oh, wow, we are going to have a real fucking problem now, aren't we? I was just told, in no uncertain terms, that she didn't like the way I eat. And the fact that she was wilts in the face of confrontation -- when she was the one who initiated that confrontation -- means that I have a goddamn problem on my hands.
The obvious first question is to know if I'm bothering anyone -- well, besides her. If I'm not, then what should I do? I can't afford for her to escalate this by bringing in authority figures. But I'm also not going to knuckle under her requests, especially when she does it in such an underhanded, petty way. Then again, I'm not sure if reaching into my bags and eating something every five minutes just to piss her off is the right thing to do, either.
Things have to get chilly between me. That's it -- no more chitchat, no more hellos, not even a smile. You're not getting that. And I'm not sure, as I drive into work today, if I'm not going to just piss her off by completely ignoring her "advice."
Eh, I probably won't. Maybe I'll do what she says. Oh, God, I can't do that, either.
Man, all I fucking wanted to do was work and earn a paycheck in peace.
Tuesday, March 10, 2015
Too Late, Too Goddamn Late
One of my latest obsessions is intercepting the mail before my parents get it. That's because I have had to go on unemployment (even though I am working now), and as surely as you may have guessed, if they ever see any mail with that u-word on it, they would basically kill me.
I was able to get the two first pieces of mail from them about a couple years ago: The handbook which is basically, "What To Expect When You're On The Dole," and the determination of how much money I would get a week. They came on back-to-back days, a Friday and a Saturday, I think, and I thought I was in the clear.
But a couple weeks ago I got blindsided, horribly. I was just applying for benefits for my waiting week, the first week of unemployment where, by law, I cannot get any money (don't know why that is). When I submitted the questions I thought I would see something like, "You get nothing!" and that's OK. But instead I got a message to the effect of, "There are lingering issues with your claim."
Oh, fuck. I knew what that meant: There are some other things they need to check up on my application. I'm not worried that I won't get my money, although that sucks. My main worry was that the determination on whether I should get money would be sent in the mail ... and that raises the possibility that my parents would see that I am (actually was) unemployed.
So I've been furtively getting home as early as possible in order to be the one in the family to get the mail so I could get that dole correspondence before they see it. I have altered plans to make sure I get home late in the afternoon so I could get it. But of course there were complications. Working, for one thing. The sudden arrival of spring, which makes it easier for my folks to just walk down to the driveway, for another.
---
Today at the test scoring place I was given a curse in the guise of a blessing. For the first time ever, this project was allowing overtime. That blows in the sense that I would not be able to work Saturdays, when they would open up the testing center. (Man, just my fucking goddamn luck that I would have a chance to make time-and-a-half but on two consecutive weekends where I have plans.) But I then came face-to-face with the crossroads: I would be able to work till 6, but would that be so late that my parents would get the mail by themselves? Or should I forsake overtime pay just so I could get home and check the mail just in case that letter from the unemployment comes?
I was wrestling with that the rest of my work day, until another surprise came from my supervisor. The work that he thought was going to be lined up for us turned out to not be there. Wasn't supposed to be there, in fact. So, there might not be OT after all -- OT that I would have had to miss. That's good! Also good: I didn't have to figure out a work schedule that would balance maximizing overtime with timing the potential days this letter (and another one that probably would be ushered after I stated online late last week that I worked the previous week; determinations where I worked, like, a week also come through the mail) would come. Checked online that this first letter was sent on the 5th. If it didn't come by now, maybe they weren't going to send this letter?
Nevertheless we were released early, so I had no angst just driving home because I would be doing as much as possible to intercept the mail. So I get home at 4:45, only to see the minivan gone from the driveway. Oh, shit. That means that Mother probably is gone somewhere, and depending on when she left, she could have thought it convenient to go the mailbox and get the mail.
Only one way to find out. I turned off the car and opened the mailbox. And it was empty.
And I looked into the house and imagining My Fucking Father just tooling around inside, waiting to pounce on me after what he saw come through the mail.
At this point the only hope I had was that it didn't come. I opened up my bedroom door -- if they get the mail, they just throw what's mine on the bed -- and the letter on top was from the Minnesota Unemployment Insurance Department.
God. Fucking. Damn.
Mother isn't home. Father is. Both probably saw the letter. I'm trying to concoct a story that, like, there was some hacking incident or otherwise there was a mistake and I should not have received a letter from them. (To try and cover my tracks I just shouted aloud in my room, "What the hell is this?" in a vain attempt to convince My Fucking Father this was a surprise to me.) It probably won't matter. One of these days, while we're sitting down for dinner, one of them will bring it up and the walls will fucking come crashing down on me. Again.
Fuck my life, I hate it.
But a couple weeks ago I got blindsided, horribly. I was just applying for benefits for my waiting week, the first week of unemployment where, by law, I cannot get any money (don't know why that is). When I submitted the questions I thought I would see something like, "You get nothing!" and that's OK. But instead I got a message to the effect of, "There are lingering issues with your claim."
Oh, fuck. I knew what that meant: There are some other things they need to check up on my application. I'm not worried that I won't get my money, although that sucks. My main worry was that the determination on whether I should get money would be sent in the mail ... and that raises the possibility that my parents would see that I am (actually was) unemployed.
So I've been furtively getting home as early as possible in order to be the one in the family to get the mail so I could get that dole correspondence before they see it. I have altered plans to make sure I get home late in the afternoon so I could get it. But of course there were complications. Working, for one thing. The sudden arrival of spring, which makes it easier for my folks to just walk down to the driveway, for another.
---
Today at the test scoring place I was given a curse in the guise of a blessing. For the first time ever, this project was allowing overtime. That blows in the sense that I would not be able to work Saturdays, when they would open up the testing center. (Man, just my fucking goddamn luck that I would have a chance to make time-and-a-half but on two consecutive weekends where I have plans.) But I then came face-to-face with the crossroads: I would be able to work till 6, but would that be so late that my parents would get the mail by themselves? Or should I forsake overtime pay just so I could get home and check the mail just in case that letter from the unemployment comes?
I was wrestling with that the rest of my work day, until another surprise came from my supervisor. The work that he thought was going to be lined up for us turned out to not be there. Wasn't supposed to be there, in fact. So, there might not be OT after all -- OT that I would have had to miss. That's good! Also good: I didn't have to figure out a work schedule that would balance maximizing overtime with timing the potential days this letter (and another one that probably would be ushered after I stated online late last week that I worked the previous week; determinations where I worked, like, a week also come through the mail) would come. Checked online that this first letter was sent on the 5th. If it didn't come by now, maybe they weren't going to send this letter?
Nevertheless we were released early, so I had no angst just driving home because I would be doing as much as possible to intercept the mail. So I get home at 4:45, only to see the minivan gone from the driveway. Oh, shit. That means that Mother probably is gone somewhere, and depending on when she left, she could have thought it convenient to go the mailbox and get the mail.
Only one way to find out. I turned off the car and opened the mailbox. And it was empty.
And I looked into the house and imagining My Fucking Father just tooling around inside, waiting to pounce on me after what he saw come through the mail.
At this point the only hope I had was that it didn't come. I opened up my bedroom door -- if they get the mail, they just throw what's mine on the bed -- and the letter on top was from the Minnesota Unemployment Insurance Department.
God. Fucking. Damn.
Mother isn't home. Father is. Both probably saw the letter. I'm trying to concoct a story that, like, there was some hacking incident or otherwise there was a mistake and I should not have received a letter from them. (To try and cover my tracks I just shouted aloud in my room, "What the hell is this?" in a vain attempt to convince My Fucking Father this was a surprise to me.) It probably won't matter. One of these days, while we're sitting down for dinner, one of them will bring it up and the walls will fucking come crashing down on me. Again.
Fuck my life, I hate it.
This Is A Low
Just haven't been ambitious lately. Probably has felt that way for the past few days, or maybe Daylight Saving Time has sapped me of my good mood. Don't know what it is, but I'm not motivated to do anything besides the necessary -- work, eating dinner with my parents, and sleep.
It's probably from losing my hat and gloves. I'm depressed over that. Still no word yet from the Megamall on whether it's turned up. Will call them today for an update. It could be worse; it could still be winter, in which case I would be reminded of my loss, and my personal failure, every time I put on my other hat and gloves. But I know I miss them in this spring weather.
Now I have lost my watch. I suspect I forget to put it on when leaving the test scoring place, so I hope it's there when I get back there in an hour. But if it's not there, I don't know where I put it. God, I'd be on a bad losing streak, literally, then. I really hope it's there.
I have been so down that last night I chose to masturbate twice, about several hours apart, on both sides of an evening nap. Still can ejaculate like a mother, and it delivered me from my doldrums at the time, but it is only temporary.
Wish me luck. I will need it.
It's probably from losing my hat and gloves. I'm depressed over that. Still no word yet from the Megamall on whether it's turned up. Will call them today for an update. It could be worse; it could still be winter, in which case I would be reminded of my loss, and my personal failure, every time I put on my other hat and gloves. But I know I miss them in this spring weather.
Now I have lost my watch. I suspect I forget to put it on when leaving the test scoring place, so I hope it's there when I get back there in an hour. But if it's not there, I don't know where I put it. God, I'd be on a bad losing streak, literally, then. I really hope it's there.
I have been so down that last night I chose to masturbate twice, about several hours apart, on both sides of an evening nap. Still can ejaculate like a mother, and it delivered me from my doldrums at the time, but it is only temporary.
Wish me luck. I will need it.
Monday, March 9, 2015
Don't Want To Spread Gossip, But ...
I have a cousin who got married about two years ago to a wonderful woman. They had been together for several years before that, so everyone figured it was about to time to get hitched. Didn't matter that I remember when my cousin came over and got regularly beaten by his mom (my aunt) in front of us. That abuse does damage to person. I would know. Anyway, I didn't know him well enough to completely think that this marriage was doomed.
But a few things I've observed (or haven't) over the months indicate that this marriage is having problems. First, the invitations to have brunch with them and their parents stopped. Then, whenever I ran into him, I didn't see her. Finally, just out of curiosity, I looked her up on Facebook.
She no longer is going by her married name.
DUH-DUH-DUH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Should've known he wasn't marriage material.
But a few things I've observed (or haven't) over the months indicate that this marriage is having problems. First, the invitations to have brunch with them and their parents stopped. Then, whenever I ran into him, I didn't see her. Finally, just out of curiosity, I looked her up on Facebook.
She no longer is going by her married name.
DUH-DUH-DUH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Should've known he wasn't marriage material.
The Things That Ail Me
- My feet have been killing me for some time now. It started acting up while sitting down at the flu biller place, and ratcheting up my exercise has not made it go away. I went to the podiatrist who said that the insoles I have now are so old that there is no support; that's why I went to the foot molder the morning of the day I lost my hat and gloves. Both feet are killing me now, though it's my left foot (particularly the ball) more than my right. It used to be almost exclusively my left foot, but now both hurt.
- This is the one that really surprises me, and scares me: All of a sudden my back hurts. It usually happens after I stand up (though not always), but I just have this huge, sharp pain in my lower back. I have no idea what triggered it. I have been sat for long hours and this pain has never crept up on me before. This is as big as sign as any that I'm getting friggin' old.
- This is kind of embarrassing to admit even though it has been bothering me for some time. Remember when I had that anal fistula? Well, ever since it was fixed in the summer, it's felt like whenever I've farted, my farts go only through the top part of my asshole, you know? OK, your asshole is basically a round hole (I don't know for sure; I've never seen my own asshole, but anal pics seem to indicate that is a typical human's basic shape), and it feels like it's only coming through the top half (the part of the anus closer to the head than to the feet; man, I know there's a scientific term for orienting parts of the body, like dorsal, but I don't know it. OK, it's the dorsal part of the asshole, what the hell). I'm not totally worried this is going to affect my health; I shit just fine, if you're asking (and you're probably not). But it's weird, you know?
Sunday, March 8, 2015
Nightmare
For the record, sleep day was Daylight Saving Time. Went out to see the big-school boys' state high school hockey tournament final last (Saturday) night, went to My Favorite Late-Night Italian Place, then went home and to bed around 1:30 I guesstimate. Woke up a bit past 9, which would have been 8 but because of the spring ahead, blah-blah-blah.
You know who Jack White is, right? Ushered back-to-back shows of the White Stripes too many years ago. After one of the shows, maybe the second one, as we began hauling out the huge garbage bags to clean up, he was onstage talking to someone. He was holding a water bottle which may have been empty. That's my Jack White story.
I hear he's kind of an asshole. So, without knowing any of the circumstances (if there were any that I dreamt), I threw Jack White off of our back porch. Couldn't have been more than ten feet, but as I was running away and looked back, he was lying face-up on the ground. I thought I concluded he was paralyzed, if that makes any sense. I harkened back in my memory (which, because I was having a nightmare, would be my memory's memory -- we're getting all Inception up in this place) that I encountered a woman I saw in a similar state, meaning I didn't break her neck, I just came upon her with her neck broken. And I thought, "Hey, she's paralyzed," which made me conclude that Jack White was now paralyzed after what I had done to him.
And I felt guilty.
And then I woke up.
You know who Jack White is, right? Ushered back-to-back shows of the White Stripes too many years ago. After one of the shows, maybe the second one, as we began hauling out the huge garbage bags to clean up, he was onstage talking to someone. He was holding a water bottle which may have been empty. That's my Jack White story.
I hear he's kind of an asshole. So, without knowing any of the circumstances (if there were any that I dreamt), I threw Jack White off of our back porch. Couldn't have been more than ten feet, but as I was running away and looked back, he was lying face-up on the ground. I thought I concluded he was paralyzed, if that makes any sense. I harkened back in my memory (which, because I was having a nightmare, would be my memory's memory -- we're getting all Inception up in this place) that I encountered a woman I saw in a similar state, meaning I didn't break her neck, I just came upon her with her neck broken. And I thought, "Hey, she's paralyzed," which made me conclude that Jack White was now paralyzed after what I had done to him.
And I felt guilty.
And then I woke up.
Saturday, March 7, 2015
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)