Uh, I'll admit it -- I've been in a horny streak on Facebook lately. So when it comes to the Stories on there, which I still don't quite get, if it's a sexy one from a model, I decided, just last night, to start using this "emoji" thing and reply with an eggplant. Just want to let them know how I feel.
It's sort of a risk, I get it. But many of the Facebook friends I have display pictures that are meant to titillate, and arouse. They should understand that their male friends might react in a perverted way. Or, they should be ... aware. You know? What, they're doing it for the art? (wanking motion)
Well, I have, as of right now, given the eggplant emoji to six posts. While I was at Brit's this (Sunday) afternoon to watch the MLS Cup, I saw that one of them blocked me. She went out of her way to tell me by replying with a hashtag. I have no fucking clue why. She is a model. On top of that, she posts photos of her sexy self all the time. She was showin' her ass on the picture I replied to with the eggplant emoji, for crissake. And she's offended?
I was going to just brush it off and say, "Whatever." But there is one big wrinkle: She lives here. I think this is a big town, but knowing my bad luck, I will run into her somewhere, and we're going to recognize each other, and shit will get awkward. Beyond that, I am, suddenly, worried about my reputation. I realized that, if she wants to, she can talk about me and what I did. I don't have much of a public profile, but whatever social circles I'm in now, well, she could expose this, and maybe the people I interact with won't like it at all. And then what?
And now I'm thinking about what I would want to do in the future. Maybe I want to be more active politically. Maybe it's time to re-start my sportscasting career. If I do either, and then this comes out, well, that would end my hopes of succeeding in them, wouldn't it? I've been thinking about this "cancel culture." And while I truly think a lot of people (well, men) need to atone for their sins, I do wonder if it can go to far, and whether this wheel can turn on me -- poor, little, innocent old me, all over an emoji.
Yeah, I'm scared that she can damage me and my dreams. So, in retrospect, maybe it wasn't wise for me to do this emoji to someone who lives in the same city as I. I was just thinking that these models would be cool with it. Like I said, they'd have to know what they're doing, right? Well, let's see if I have to reap the whirlwind. Meanwhile, I need to monitor the otherfive (three of whom are models [one nude], seven (five of whom are models [one nude, one a porn star], the other two being bodybuilders) to see how they will react.
But shit, if I see another ass, you goddamn right I'll give her the eggplant.
I gotta be me. I gotta be me.
It's sort of a risk, I get it. But many of the Facebook friends I have display pictures that are meant to titillate, and arouse. They should understand that their male friends might react in a perverted way. Or, they should be ... aware. You know? What, they're doing it for the art? (wanking motion)
Well, I have, as of right now, given the eggplant emoji to six posts. While I was at Brit's this (Sunday) afternoon to watch the MLS Cup, I saw that one of them blocked me. She went out of her way to tell me by replying with a hashtag. I have no fucking clue why. She is a model. On top of that, she posts photos of her sexy self all the time. She was showin' her ass on the picture I replied to with the eggplant emoji, for crissake. And she's offended?
I was going to just brush it off and say, "Whatever." But there is one big wrinkle: She lives here. I think this is a big town, but knowing my bad luck, I will run into her somewhere, and we're going to recognize each other, and shit will get awkward. Beyond that, I am, suddenly, worried about my reputation. I realized that, if she wants to, she can talk about me and what I did. I don't have much of a public profile, but whatever social circles I'm in now, well, she could expose this, and maybe the people I interact with won't like it at all. And then what?
And now I'm thinking about what I would want to do in the future. Maybe I want to be more active politically. Maybe it's time to re-start my sportscasting career. If I do either, and then this comes out, well, that would end my hopes of succeeding in them, wouldn't it? I've been thinking about this "cancel culture." And while I truly think a lot of people (well, men) need to atone for their sins, I do wonder if it can go to far, and whether this wheel can turn on me -- poor, little, innocent old me, all over an emoji.
Yeah, I'm scared that she can damage me and my dreams. So, in retrospect, maybe it wasn't wise for me to do this emoji to someone who lives in the same city as I. I was just thinking that these models would be cool with it. Like I said, they'd have to know what they're doing, right? Well, let's see if I have to reap the whirlwind. Meanwhile, I need to monitor the other
But shit, if I see another ass, you goddamn right I'll give her the eggplant.
I gotta be me. I gotta be me.
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