#0: Gopher soccer (Last Week: -4). Sporting a record of 8-2-7 is nothing to write home about. But even though they probably aren't going anywhere, the Gopher women's soccer team at least is getting hot at the right time. Finishing up with the easiest part of their schedule, the XI beat both Maryland and Purdue, and with help from Illinois, the program they were fighting with for that eighth and final spot in the Big Ten Tournament, they locked that up with Thursday night's Win over the Boilermakers.
I was at that Match. Sophia Romine braced for the Gophs, scoring just a tad over 14 Minutes apart in the First Half. They outshot the Boilers, 27-7. The lead in Shots On Goal, 12-3. They had 14 Corner Kicks to Purdue's one. The Boilermakers are winless in conference play and are just 3-3-10 overall, and they looked like it at Robbie.
I think this is more due to inattention rather than merit, but I am surprised by Minnesota's recent run of good form, and so I am being generous in not only awarding this squad the top spot, but also putting them above negative numbers, just this once. They have that chair, that chip and that chance. And like that team from several Years back, who knows, maybe Minnesota can make a run, take the tourney title and clinch a spot in the NCAAs.
Finish the regular season tomorrow/Sunday afternoon in Champaign against the vanquished Illini. B1G Quarterfinals begin the following Sunday.
#-1: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -5). With Denver losing over last weekend, Minnesota, despite having a Loss to Minnesota-Mankato on its resume, rose up to the #1 spot in the polls. Honestly, I don't remember the last time the Gophers were ranked #1. Is it recent?
They took that target into Mariucci last/Friday night to begin a two-Game series with sworn old rival North Dakota. The Fighting Hawks took leads twice but the Golden Gophers came back to tie it both times, the latter of which was scored by Mason Nevers with 1:24 left in regulation. And in Overtime, this happened:
Nothing better than beating North Dakota in hockey. #Gophers pic.twitter.com/xksaAxEi3l
— Noel Thompson (@N0ELTHOMPSON) October 22, 2022
Man, I wish I were there. And man, it's so great to see Mariucci filled with fans again. It's rare these days to see that. For the good feelings seeing that Goal elicits, I'm going to place these guys in second place.
Another one against NoDak tonight/Saturday night, then two at Ohio St. (beginning conference play so soon?) beginning Friday.
#-2: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -7). Swept both Illinois (at home) and Iowa (in Iowa City) this past screening Week. No matter; the big news -- and it's real big news -- is that Head Coach Hugh McCutcheon announced that his leaving the program after this Year. Holy shit.
Who knows why, especially since he signed an extension in the off-season. Everybody who reacted to this news pointed out how much of a gentleman he is, and how is an exemplar of the best of women's college volleyball, and of coaching in general. I respect that. My thinking is that the losing got to him, and in particular the Losses that have hung a low ceiling again this season (getting swept by Ohio St. at home, getting swept at Purdue, the inexplicable defeat at home to Northwestern). This is shaping up to be yet another great-but-clearly-not-championship squad he's leading, and he's had enough of it. If that's the case ... yeah, I agree with him. Speaking only for myself as a fan, I'm tired of this program being unable to take that next step. Three Final Fours and an advancement in the caliber of recruits under his watch are notable. But I am not satisfied that this school hasn't won a title. Maybe McCutcheon agrees ... or, he has found another job that fulfills him. I'm not against finding someone new that can finally get this Gopher club to lift a trophy.
Inevitably, however, this change brings on the unknown, and that's something that is bad. People on the team are probably Googling "transfer portal" already. But this is where Mark Coyle has to talk to his bosses and leverage some of that sweet-ass Big Ten Network money and say to them, "If you want Minnesota to remain the class of this Olympic sport, you'll give me an unlimited budget to hire the person I want as Head Coach." Renovating the football weight room can weight one fucking Year; get someone who actually has won this fucking championship -- say, Kentucky's Craig Skinner -- and pay that person whatever he or she wants to wear the maroon and gold. Then, the players might stay. And if they don't, the U. has one of the best Coaches in the sport who can bring in new great players from the transfer portal. Pay to play, Coyle, pay to play.
Revenge Game vs. the Boilermakers tonight/Saturday night, then Spartans Wednesday night, both at Maturi.
#-3: Vikings (Last Week: -3). I don't like how these guys are winning by the skin of their teeth. I mean, which team do you think is better: The 5-1 Vikings or the 4-2 Chiefs? Or the 4-2 Cowboys? Or the 4-2 Jets? Still, The Purple once again come up with the clutch play when it counts to eke out a win, this time a 24-16 victory over the Dolphins in Miami, led by former Vikes Quarterback Teddy Bridgewater, who had to step in because starting QB Skylar Thompson injured his right thumb.
Miami was marching down the field, poised to take the lead. Bridgewater completed a pass to Dolphins Wide Receiver Jaylen Waddle. But Safety Harrison Smith knocked the ball loose, the Vikings recovered, and two plays later, Running Back Dalvin Cook busted it up the middle for 53 Yards and what turned out to be the Game-winning Touchdown.
And still the Vikings didn't sew up this contest until very late. On the second play of the next Dolphins possession, Bridgewater was picked off by Patrick Peterson. But the Vikings Offense went three-and-out, expending only 24 Seconds. Miami drove down the field and scored with 84 Seconds left to make it an eight-Point margin, but couldn't recover the onside kick. That's when Minnesota could finally take it easy knowing they beat the Dolphins in Miami for the first time in five tilts and since 1976, when I was mere months old.
It's not pretty, but coupled with Green Bay's shocking home defeat to the Jets, Minnesota currently holds a two-Game lead in the NFC North and have greatly improved their chances of making the playoffs. The increasing and increasingly visible horizon is enough to give this club a lift up the rankings here.
This is their bye Week. They host The Bastard Chicago-By-Way-Of-St. Louis Cardinals on the 30th.
#-4: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: -1). Sorry, not a whole lot I can say about this team because they just keep on keepin' on and beating overwhelmed programs. On Saturday they finished a home-and-home sweep of Minnesota-Mankato by crushing the Mavericks, 9-4. Then yesterday/Friday afternoon, they beat the Huskies, 4-2, in St. Cloud. This is also a home-and-home; St. Cloud St. comes down to play the U. at Ridder this/Saturday afternoon. But finally, actual competition: They travel to Columbus to begin a two-Game series versus the top-ranked team in the country, Ohio St., on Friday.
#-5: Timberwolves (Re-Entry!). The Most Anticipated Season In The History Of The Minnesota Timberwolves -- I think even moreso than the season Sam Cassell and Latrell Sprewell became teammates of Kevin Garnett because that team was trying to get over the hump for several Years and it was getting a bit tiresome -- began Wednesday at Target Center. New Owners Marc Lore and Alex Rodriguez went all-in and brought a big puzzle piece that fits in Center Rudy Gobert, and he, KAT, D'Angelo and Ant started with a seven-Point Win over The Bastard Seattle SuperSonics. Things were far from perfect. Chemistry issues abounded. Edwards scored only 11. Towns didn't shoot a whole lot. Gobert led the team in scoring with 23. Jaden McDaniels, who probably will be the fifth starter and whose improving Defense may be the X factor in rocketing this ballclub into true contention, dropped 19. Things still needed to be ironed out after last/Friday night's six-Point Loss at home in Overtime to The Bastard New Orleans Jazz, but hey, it was nice to see a couple of the old Timberwolves back (Jarred Vanderbilt, Malik Beasley) at Target, right?
The Wolves start their year with five-of-six at home. Tomorrow/Sunday night is that sole roadie; they return the favor and visit Oklahoma City. Then they come back home to host San Antonio twice (on Monday and Wednesday) and The Team That Was Stolen From Us v.1.0 Friday.
#-6: Wild (Last Week: -6). This goddamn team could -- and maybe still should -- be at the bottom. They started with a four-Game homestand, and not only did the Mild lose their first three, they did so in spectacularly shitty fashion -- first shipping seven Goals against the Rangers, and then this Week allowing another seven in a thriller Loss to Kevin Fiala and Los Angeles, then another six to The Bastard Quebec Nordiques. The 20 Goals allowed through three Games (I think any three and not just the first three Games of a season) far eclipses the 17 the North Stars allowed ... back in the seventies, I think?
Well, Minnesota salvaged something by winning Thursday. They had to go to Overtime, but the Wild scored the Goal that sent it to OT, and then Kirill Kaprizov scored in the extra session, and our long, State Of Hockey-wide nightmare is over.
One writer at The Athletic says not to worry. The Goaltending has been unprecedentedly abysmal and can't help but revert back to the mean. He also says the Defense hasn't been that bad. Well, this club has a five-Game road trip that will really expose how overrated or overlooked they are right now. The first three happen this Week: Boston this/Saturday afternoon, Montreal Tuesday, Ottawa Thursday.
#-7: Gopher football (Re-Entry!). The B1G West was theirs for the taking, and it's going to be snatched away by Bret fucking Bielema. Last Saturday afternoon, the Goofer gridiron team went into Champaign and were promptly turned away by the Fighting Illini, 26-14. In the Game, Minnesota Quarterback Tanner Morgan threw only twelves Passes -- and only four of them were complete, for a grand total of 21 Yards. It seems as though if Morgan is having a bad day (and he now has had two of them, back-to-back), there is no way they are going to score. And they didn't, losing to an Illinois team that -- Illinois!!! -- seems to be in the driver's seat to win the West and head to Indianapolis.
Meanwhile, this coupled with the Loss to Purdue has ruined any chance of a Big Ten title Game. Moreover, they're looking at another Loss as they are in Happy Valley tonight/Saturday night to face Penn St. on ABC in prime time. P. J. Fleck's accomplishments and shortcomings are starting to mirror possibly The Last Best Golden Gopher Football Head Coach, Glen Mason. He was competent, mostly beat the teams his team was supposed to beat, pulled an occasional upset but nonetheless managed to lose, like, five Games a Year. I don't know if Fleck is going to lose that many this season, but Saturday night's result pulled the ceiling down to where it's touching his head. Are we going to accept Glen Mason v.2.0? Because we don't have a breakthrough, we have a pattern.
#-Infinity: United FC (Last Week: -2). Probably best I was volunteering for an event Monday evening around the time the Loons were playing FC Dallas in Frisco in the First Round of the MLS Playoffs. Emmanuel Reynoso -- who, it must be said even though it's obvious, has become The Best Player In MNUFC History -- scored in the 53rd Minute, but his team couldn't keep that lead; FCD's Facundo Quignon scored in the 64th to tie it up, and it went into Extra Time ... and then Penalties, where all but one PK was missed. And of course that miss was made by one of our guys, in this case Will Trapp in the second round of Penalty Kicks. The guy who iced the Game for FC Dallas apparently Panenka-ed United FC Goalkeeper Dayne St. Clair. Man, Penalty Kicks are still the worst form of overtime in any sport -- well, right next to college football.
This wasn't the end of the Loons' season; this was the end of the Loons' four seasons. They started off OK, then hit a very rough patch, then were flying through the middle of the summer, then stumbled and wheezed their way into the postseason. At one point they were a contender for the MLS Cup; at another point, they looked to be eliminated from playoff contention. That's a sign that this season is hard to evaluate.
The #HeathOut people have their knives out for him, no doubt. But -- and I might be saying this because I'm trying to justify remaining a season-ticketholder -- is it possible you can chalk up the death of this season because of injuries? Romain Metanire (and at least one person tweeted that he thinks his time here is up -- that would be sad because he was a forceful contribution on the Backline), Hassani Dotson (his versatility was missed), Bakaye Dibassy (the team's fortunes nosedived with his season-ending injury) and even Jacori Hayes (a role player that thinned out an already-thin bench) were the biggest parts of MNUFC's season-long injury list. It's possible, even probable, that if all of those guys didn't get hurt, United FC would still be on its run. Now, though, people are saying that the club needs more defenders and yet another Striker. They could be right.
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