Dangerous, Delirious Drowsiness

Wednesday night I stayed up way later than I should have for someone who was going to go into work early to take advantage of overtime the next workday.  I could have stayed later Thursday afternoon instead of going in early Thursday morning, but I arranged a tele-health session with my therapist just after work, so yesterday/Thursday I started my day a lot earlier than usual.  I didn't adjust my sleep schedule because I was too busy surfing the Internet.

Nevertheless, I had a vivid nightmare that usually results in me being fully rested and wide awake after I wake up from it.  Don't remember the full story of it, but I remember hearing my late Grandmother bang on my bedroom door telling me to open the door and let her in, but I could not move.  (I get frequent nightmares where I can't move; that must mean something.)  It was so real to me that I swear that I lifted my head and looked at my bedroom door as I woke up.

Shortly thereafter I checked the time on my watch: 3 a.m.  I went to bed around 1:30 in the morning.  I conked back off until my alarm went off at 4, at which point I hit the snooze button for, I think, a whole hour.  But I eventually got out of the house and, after making a pit stop at at gas station for food and drink, I think I got to work a bit before 5:30.

And I was great, really refreshed.  Like I said, a nightmare like that usually means I'm up and at 'em, no matter how many hours I slept.  But, around 9 ... damn, I got tired.  Like, really tired.  I have been hard-to-close-my-eyes drowsy at work many times before, but yesterday it felt ... different, like my body is telling me, "No, man -- you have to go to sleep now."  I usually get real tired after a short period of sleep at around 10, not 9, which kind of freaks me out.  But I powered through and got to lunch, where I slept a very hard sleep for, I want to say, 25 minutes.

Whenever I go unconscious for lunch, I am spry for the rest of the day, and I was.  But my body just crashed, again, after work.  We got out late because we are short-staffed, so I was rushing to get home in time for my 4 o'clock call with my psychotherapist.  Got home late, and then I spent five minutes trying to find my iPhone headphones (and couldn't; that's a blog post there).  I eventually called him and put him on speakerphone, but over the course of the call, I got so, so tired that I had to end the call early, after about 40 minutes, just so I could rest my eyes before I went back out to see the U. soccer Match at 6 and, if I had time, get lottery tickets before getting out to Robbie Stadium.

It was freaky.  During the middle of my phone call, just before I started to crash, I reached for peanuts and grabbed a couple slices of cheese in the fridge.  I remember being hungry, and I remember wanting to eat.  But looking back, eating those peanuts and cheese slices seems like a reflex, like I wasn't totally conscious through that whole process.  I think I was too tired to know 100% what I was doing.  And that scares me.  I may not have been, uh, "present" at all yesterday.  Moreover, after that call, I set my alarm for, I think, eight minutes, and I was able to shut my eyes and immediately conk off, and I snapped to eight minutes later.  I was totally out.  Totally.

But that quick nap helped me (I think) get to the gas station and the Match and then Caffetto, where I stayed for a few hours to catch up on paperwork.  I got home and drank a couple drinks, too, but I finally rested at around 2:30 in the morning.  Set my alarm for 10:30; if I hadn't done that, I'd still be asleep.  But I think I'm OK now.  I don't think I'll be dangerously, deliriously drowsy today.