The Final Days Of Summer

If I said that summer was done -- uh, whoops.

I saw my alma mater just survive their Game which started at 11 a.m.  I know that the first Game of the pandemic 2020 season (which was in early November) kicked off at 11 a.m. too.  I don't know if my alma mater has ever played that early in the day besides those times.  Anyway, my friend and I were going to his car so that he can drive me to my car, which was a little farther away.  He was outside for Halftime, and when he came back he remarked that he got really hot while on his walk.  I knew it was going to be hot and humid, but once I went outside too -- my goodness, is it hot!  I had long pants on, but I don't think it would have mattered if I broke out my shorts -- I am sweating.  And apparently it's going to be this hot and humid until Tuesday, after which there will be a storm that will send temperatures plummeting at least 15 degrees and dry out the humidity.  Can't wait till then.  I just have to endure till then, too.

Where Major League Baseball Teams Taken From Their Original Cities Will Play For The Final Series (Or Close To It) If I Were Scheduler

(I edited this around 1 a.m. October 1 because I had to re-do the schedule for The Baltimore Orioles because the previous schedule didn't work.)

So I have this ... uh, OCD thing where I want to see teams, regardless of sport, end their regular seasons in the cities where they're originally born.  I'm a Pisces and this idea is a full circle kind of thing.

Between 1981 and 2004, Major League Baseball's regular season was set up by, get this, a married couple, Henry and Holly Stephenson.  Ever since, it looks as though MLB hired a company called The Sports Scheduling Group that, I guess, makes money by generating schedules on computer.  But to think that just two people was able to determine the schedule for all the teams in America's Favorite Pastime.  It can't have become more complex since 2005, right?  Sure, there are more teams, but there is still 162 Games.  If a married couple can sit down and figure out a schedule of 2,430 Games over the course of six Months without screwing up, I can indulge in my relocation-hating fantasy of mapping out which teams play where for the final three-to-six Games of a fictional regular season.

So, with that in mind, if I had my way, a regular season would end with these particular series:

• Atlanta Braves at Milwaukee Brewers
• Atlanta Braves at Boston Red Sox (so this is a franchise that has been stolen away twice; the Braves originated in Boston, so Atlanta finishes its regular season playing in Milwaukee and then playing in Boston -- oh, and there is a huge to-do regarding the Milwaukee Brewers; see below)
• New York Yankees at Baltimore Orioles
• Baltimore Orioles at St. Louis Cardinals
• Baltimore Orioles at Milwaukee Brewers
• Milwaukee Brewers at Seattle Mariners (now this is getting really complicated; there is a team that has been stolen away twice, and the city the Baltimore Orioles were born in has both had a second team stolen from them and itself stolen a team.  What to do?  Christ almighty, I think I've got it; Baltimore plays in Milwaukee the third-to-last series of the regular season; plays in St. Louis in the second-to-last series of the regular season; and in the last series of the regular season, Baltimore hosts the Yankees.  Meanwhile, the final three series of the regular season for the Milwaukee Brewers will be home to Baltimore, home to Atlanta, then at Seattle.  Done!)
• Minnesota Twins at Washington Nationals
• Texas Rangers at Washington Nationals (this time Washington, D. C. would be hosting two teams that were stolen from the Federal District; since the original franchise became The Minnesota Twins, the Nationals host the Rangers in the next-to-last series and host the Twins in the last)
• Oakland Athletics at Kansas City Royals
• Oakland Athletics at Philadelphia Phillies (another two-time city-jumper in Oakland [who will soon be Las Vegas].  Because the Athletics originated in Philadelphia, Oakland will play in Kansas City before finishing up in Philadelphia)

Big caveats: I don't know what to do with the Los Angeles Dodgers and the San Francisco Giants.  They were both stolen from the good people of New York City.  But Major League Baseball is beautifully distinct because it's not really the city that the historic New York-based teams hails from but the borough.  The Dodgers, for example, were born The Brooklyn Dodgers.  The San Francisco Giants were taken from Manhattan.  Meanwhile, the Yankees play in The Bronx while the Mets play in Queens.  Yeah, you can take the Dodgers and Giants back to New York.  But there is no deciding factor as to which California baseball team should play which New York City baseball team (whether it be the Yankees or the Mets) and when.  So, I've decided that they don't "come home to where they were born" because, to be technical, there is no current MLB ballclub in the borough they were taken away from.

Baseball is such an old sport that I thought there would be a hell of a lot more relocations than the ones I listed above.  But I guess that's it.

Finally Gave Up At Work

Maybe it was the forms that came in Wednesday night that did me in.  There have been a lot of changes going on with the company, and that has rejiggered when I can expect the work to come in from the lab.  Wednesday night, for some odd reason, new work came in at the end of the workday.  Now, it wasn't really the end of my workday, since I once again was saddled with so much stuff to do.  But that new stuff was the final straw.  I couldn't get to that stuff if I wanted to leave at a not-insane hour.  In fact, I was told that new work wasn't going to come in that late into the afternoon.

So, partly to vent and partly to cover my ass, I forwarded the new work to both my supervisor and my boss.  I basically said to them, "What the hell is this?  I can't do this shit this late in the day, are you kidding me?"  And I don't know if they agreed with me, or even thought through my argument.  The cynic in me believes that both of them just noted when I sent that e-mail, which was an hour after I should have left for the day.  And that goes back to my boss' incessant haranguing (though not recently, to be fair) about me racking up overtime in The Fourth Department.

That may have been behind my supervisor telling me when I got in to work yesterday/Thursday morning that she was going to look over my shoulder and ask me questions about how I lay out my day.  This was the "meddling" I feared and hated when my boss started asking me questions about why am I racking up so much OT.  But this week has been a damn bear, with all this work coming in at all part of the day, plus these calls I have to field and work from previous days that had also piled up.  All these changes (which may be the result of the volume of work coming into the building but also may stem from personnel shortage issues) have made this week more of a torture chamber to fight through than any week before.  I did my self-imposed maximum of ten hours Monday and Wednesday.  And the ripple effects of needing to stay late to get work done on Monday, which meant that I had to come back on Tuesday to clean up that stuff, which pushes me tackling the new stuff to later on Tuesday and maybe even Wednesday ... you get what I mean ... all of that made me afraid that this is The New Normal.  And I am such a prideful, or pig-headed, man that I continued to say, "That's fine!  I can do it all by myself -- so long as you leave me alone and pay me for all the work I have to do!"

Till now.  The surge in workload has become a pain in the ass.  And the shifting down of an hour meant that, if I have to stay my self-imposed maximum of ten hours, I need to stay till 7:30.  I did that Monday and I missed the First Half of Monday Night Football.  I did that yesterday/Wednesday, went to Taco Bell to grab dinner, and was lucky to come home in time to see all of the season premiere of The Amazing Race.  I'm not exercising after work as I did, and could do, if I were working The Main Department (which, truth be told, I haven't worked in weeks, if not months).  And I'm tired as hell.  Is this The New Normal?  As much as I need the damn money, I don't know if I can take OT, at least this much OT, anymore.  And besides, my boss's bosses are telling him to tell me to stop staying late.  I hate dictates from on high, but it looks as though they've finally decided to put an end to accruing this much overtime and fattening up my paychecks.

My supervisor remains an angel in my times of strife.  I fully believe she empathizes with me and understands the stress and anxiety of The Fourth Department, especially when you're getting hit from all directions at once.  But she has gotten orders from my boss to get me out of work in eight hours, so, after asking me questions about what I do when and verifying that I'm not slacking off or anything, she's going to step in and do the new work for me early in the afternoon.  If I weren't so frazzled as I am, I would consider this a threat to my ego.  Frankly, though, right now I feel kind of relieved.  The workload of new forms yesterday/Thursday was in no way ridiculous.  I could have handled it all by myself.  But like the other days all week, I had old stuff to resolve and a bunch of phone calls I needed to handle.  I wasn't going to get to the new stuff until well into the afternoon.  It was so bad yesterday that, truthfully, I don't think I could have gotten to all the new forms by ten hours.  But thankfully, my supervisor did the bulk of it.

With that being said, I did nine hours.  It's not ten, like it was Monday or Wednesday, but it ain't eight, which I presume is my boss' goal.  There was a trickle of new stuff that came in late in the afternoon, after my supervisor left, and I believe I had to do them, so I have a ready-made excuse for staying over.  Combine that with all the other correspondence I needed to tie up and the usual end-of-day work to make sure there were no loose ends, and it was 6:30.  I don't know if my boss is going to be OK with that.  What I do know is that the old me would have gone ballistic that somebody was budding in to my territory, but right now, as I type this, I realize that I surrendered and volunteered for more help.  And I am not worrying about my pride or my manhood or even my wallet that I'll do it again.

Addendum To: And This Is Why I Hate Calling People At Work

So I got back to the woman I talked to about those mysterious pills that came in with the pee.  Frankly, this woman is psychotic.  She was incredibly passive-aggressive when I just wanted to know what she wanted me to do with those pills, became very accusatory because she believed our lab broke some urine bottles she shipped to us several weeks ago, and came off as so narcissistic that I don't think she listened to a word I said and instead just was waiting for a moment she could begin spewing out what was stewing in her head.  And she was incredibly, absurdly thin-skinned, too.  Get this -- I was just listening to her talk and talk and talk when my co-workers, who were behind me, started chuckling.  And this bitch goes, "Are you laughing?"

"That is my co-worker," I said, incredulously and sternly.  I have never accused someone of laughing at me while I was on a business call.  I wouldn't say it even if I thought the person I was speaking to was.  How borderline fucking paranoid do you have to be to think someone at work is laughing at you??  And I thought I was crazy, holy shit. ...

She wanted a photo of these tablets ("Those aren't really tablets, but capsules, but anyway ..." she actually said that -- my God, she is insufferable and out of her mind) and I was only too happy to e-mail it to her because I was praying to Buddha that would be the last goddamn time I would ever, ever have to speak to her.  And that was my last phone call with her ... but she was going back and forth with me through e-mail.  Luckily, her tone got less combative once she realized that the testing was underway for the pee she presumably intended to send.  That doesn't excuse her tone, of course; she didn't have to fly off the handle over some cold tablets.  Turns out they were thrown in to the bag by mistake by someone who thought the bag those tablets were in was empty.

Unfortunately, I have spoken to human beings a lot.  I was verbally abused too many fucking times by assholes when I was an usher, and that was because those assholes thought I was beneath them.  As I have gotten older, however, I have realized that fuckers who scream at customer service people do so because they feel like they're not in control, and they feel demeaning people is their only way in which to get that control.  That, shall we say, power imbalance is in my favor at my job.  These people who call need test results, and my company provides them.  That means those people are waiting on us, and on me.  I will always try to help.  But if they refuse to be cooperative, I remind myself that we got the answers, and I will lord those test results over the pricks who call in and want to be nasty with me.

So, I will say that those interactions I described above are way worse than this bullshit she pulled.  In fact, believe it or not, I have to admit that in dealing with her nuttiness, I saw a little bit of ... myself.  Hey, I'm no angel.  In order to get what I want, I will become passive-aggressive and defensive and yelly as she was.  I'm not proud of that behavior (necessarily), it's just that I have had temper tantrums like that many times before, and I know that I won't change because that's how I act when I am pissed -- just like she was.

---

Her last e-mail to me was that explanation of how those liquid gel caps got in that bag.  It was a mistake, and there was no intention of testing them or anything like that.  The thing is, I never asked her how those tablets got in there.  I don't care.  And so I wonder what her point was in fleshing out the story.  Did she think I wanted to know?  Or is this another demonstration of her narcissism, that she just assumed I had to know how Nancy Drew solved The Case Of The Stowaway Capsules.

Should I have responded to that e-mail?  There may be, unfortunately, a time where I'll have to contact her again, so maybe, just to keep the peace, I should acknowledge what she discovered.  But ... well, it was another ten-hour day at work (the problem of her took up almost an hour of my time) and I needed to pick up lottery tickets for my parents and sister and I wanted to go home ... and, frankly, I needed to send her a message that if I ever fucking heard her psycho voice again, it would be too soon.  So I left without replying to her.  And, yeah, I think I won't reply to her.  I got what I wanted from her.

And This Is Why I Hate Calling People At Work

Overall, my interactions with people when I need to get on the phone at work have been good and professional.  I get what I want, and I usually don't get any shit.  But then bullshit like what happened yesterday/Tuesday happens, and I'm like, "Ugh."

It was late in the day.  After spending the first half of my day catching up on all the crap I had to leave from work Monday, I finally got through the new work when I saw an e-mail that had been sitting there for a few hours.  A supervisor in the lab wanted me to call a collection site because they received a bag of ... well, I shouldn't say too much, I'll just say that in that bag there were unusual but non-illicit things that the sender might or might not want to be tested.  It wasn't the ten-hour slog that Monday was, but seeing that e-mail was one final frustration I didn't want to deal with as I was winding down my day, but I did have some time and it had been sitting around, so I called.

This was near the end of the workday.  That is the only logical reason I can think of for how the person who picked up reacted to this situation and how I described it.  I laid out what's going on ... well, actually I just retold what was on the e-mail to me.  Anyway, she interrupted me and said, "Stop!  Stop!  Stop!"  The hell?  Don't tell me to stop, woman.  I swear I wasn't yelling at her.  I didn't even raise my voice to her.  But apparently it was the end of the day, and she had to pick up her kids or buy her daily crack from her dealer or something, because she was rudely overwhelmed with me telling her we got a box of crap from her company.  My fucking God, it isn't a big deal, and yet she was screaming at me like it was the end of the world.  Or the end of hers, I don't know.

Anyway, she needed some time away from me and from work and this situation, so she asked if I could call her tomorrow, which of course I could, go get in that meditation session.  In the meantime she demanded pictures of the stuff that came in.  I e-mailed the lab to see if I could get those sent to me before I called her, for which I (smartly or stupidly) arranged to set a time to call back.  Talking to her for as little as possible seems to be the wise way to go, lest she go off on me even after getting a full night's sleep.  Man, all I fucking needed to know from her was what she wants us to do with a fucking bag.  She needs to calm the fuck down, shit. ...

Addendum To: More Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes At Work (Which Is A Change Back To What It Was)

Uh, yeah, yesterday/Monday was a disaster at work with the new time.  Well, first of all, work was a shitshow period, regardless of me starting work an hour later.  I know I have said many times before that the previous day was The Worst Day Of Work In The Fourth Department, but oh my God, yesterday was The Worst Day Of Work In The Fourth Department.  There was so much goddamn work, more probably than any other day I've been back there.  Add that I had a few involved phone calls and I started off slowly because I had to figure out how my supervisor left things for me from Thursday and Friday, and I was so behind that I left a ton of work for myself for today/Tuesday after I reached ten hours, more than any other day I have worked in The Fourth Department.  A bunch of answers came in for me, but I didn't have time to get to them.  That is a major, and somewhat upsetting, first.

Given the overwhelming pile of crap I didn't finish, in one sense it doesn't matter if I start work at 9 instead of 8.  But when it became super obvious that I was once again going to put in extra hours, I got depressed that my new schedule meant that I could be staying as late as 7:30 if it gets that bad.  Autumn's coming on like a freight train right now.  As I was finishing up my ten hours by walking to the break room, I looked outside and it was dark out.  It was 7:15, for crissake.  The State Fair was three weeks ago and the sun didn't set that early then.  Also, 7:30 is such an odd time for your workday to end.  I am not looking forward to getting out of work on a regular basis at that time.

For that reason, I am seriously thinking about asking my boss if I could come in an hour earlier on Mondays.  Like I said in my previous blog post, on Mondays the work waiting for me was delivered to the inbox over the weekend.  It may not matter when I get to them if the e-mails are just sitting there, but if I can at least work Mondays on a schedule so that I don't feel like I'm working second shift by the time I'm done, I want to do it.  The downshifting of my schedule by an hour is to accommodate the new schedule by the lab.  But the work during the rest of the workweek is coming through later each day.  Monday's work mostly comes on Saturday, so there really isn't a need to adjust my workday on that day.  And again, I still probably will be pulling ten hours, but as I feel right now, it's better to get out at 6:30 on at least one day of the workweek and not 7:30.

With that in mind, hope to summon up the courage to present my argument to my boss this week.

More Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes At Work (Which Is A Change Back To What It Was)

Weirdest thing at work on Wednesday.  My boss, who I insist is still a good boss because he's a good listener but still has the ability to be brusque when he decides to be, came storming in and going up to me while working (thank goodness he did when he caught me actually working and not looking at the Internet) and said that he is changing the hours in The Fourth Department back an hour starting immediately.  The lab, from which The Fourth Department gets its work, is going through such a chronic state of staffing shortages (not just long-term but also through people calling in sick every day, apparently) that the people who do show up are pulling double duty, and so it appears as if the work that involves me will be set aside till later in the day, thus necessitating (maybe) me shifting my, uh, shift down an hour.

I was blindsided by the suddenness of the move.  I'm glad the move wasn't immediate for me because I was off Thursday and Friday.  But blog posting about this right now actually is one of the reasons why I should be happy that The Fourth Department is going back to its original hours: I can stay up.  I have mentioned many times here (I think) that waking up at 7 rather than 6 makes a world of difference.  So, how about sleeping in yet another hour?  That makes going to bed around my usual time of 2:30 or 3 in the morning that much more palatable.  And besides, more often than not I am staying at work till 5:30 anyway; the "new" hours won't make that much of a difference for me.

However, coming in later will, by necessity, mean that I will leave later.  And since the work appears to be back to its "plus" workload, I will be staying after eight hours most days.  If I keep myself to just spending an extra two hours at work (meaning ten hours total), I will get out of work at 7:30.  That's pretty damn late, and if there is a movie or a United FC Match I want to go to, I either am SOL or I just have to decide to leave work for another day, or for my supervisor to do if I am not working in The Fourth Department the next day.  I may need to be careful what I wish for.

For now, and maybe even for only this week, I will do 9-5:30.  But I might propose something else.  Monday is the busiest day because I am dealing with work that has been backed up since Saturday.  Regardless if I come in at 9 or 8, nearly all of the work will be waiting for me on Mondays.  I don't think I will be wanting for work if I stay at 8-4:30 throughout the week, to be frank, but I can show my boss all the e-mails and forms that piled up on me over the weekend that cause me to stay very late on Mondays.  I may confuse myself if I suggest a schedule of 8-4:30 on Mondays and 9-5:30 the rest of the week, but the workflow from here on out might be conducive to it.

---

So I said that The Fourth Department is going back to its original hours.  I thought I blog posted about this before when I started working in The Fourth Department almost exactly two years ago, but when the person I replaced left, he was working 9-5:30.  And if I didn't write about it then, my boss told me around that time that he was shifting the hours up an hour, to 8-4:30.  And I remember not liking that change, and I think I told my boss that I didn't like that change.  Well, look at me, not liking change again even though it's changing back to 9-5:30!

It's clear that I doth protest too much.  Well, I think at the time the change was decided, and in fact whenever I am told that anything is going to change, I'm going to complain about it.  I'm a creature of habit, and I want my expectations to be reinforced unless it's obvious a change for the better needs to be made.  For The Fourth Department, all I knew two years ago was the hours were 9-5:30, and the shift up appeared to be arbitrary.  I thought it was going to be a drag getting up and going in to work an hour earlier than I had anticipated.  But honestly, I haven't thought about my bitching for the last two years, so it looks as though I adjusted just fine.

And so, just like with that, it appears likely that I will adjust to the new/old hours just fine after an initial eruption of surliness.  I foresee conflicts because the lateness I also anticipate will seriously eat into a good chunk of the evening, and there are many fun things I know I will want to do that start at 7 or 7:30.  (Why that didn't worry me when I thought my hours were going to be 9-5:30 I don't know, even though it's possible I didn't know I would be staying late most days in The Fourth Department when I started working that position.)  Maybe I can ask my boss if I can come in one day an hour early; I've done that before.  And maybe he'll be OK with Mondays 8-4:30.  Anyways, it's another change that I will eventually get used to, to the point where, if the hours change again, I'll go, "Why do we have to change?  I hate change!"

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#0: Twins (Last Week: -1).  Congratulations to the Twins, who clinched the American League Central Division and a playoff spot for the first time since 2020 on Friday by besting the visiting Los Angeles Angels Of Anaheim Angels Of Los Angeles Angels Of Anaheim Angels Of ... completing a 4-2 Week.  I have to admit they're playing pretty well in the Second Half of the season.  The Starting Pitching has been good all Year, even solid.  Best of all, the Lineup is producing.  The youngsters that have finally been called up seem to be "getting it," and the luck of Rookies and young players hitting and driving in Runs is a hallmark of postseason baseball success.  Now, let's see if the Twinks can finally break that stupid-as-fuck postseason losing streak, let alone win a fucking series.

Can you believe there are only eight Days of regular season baseball left?  They finish with the Angels this/Sunday afternoon, host The Bastard Philadelphia-By-Way-of Kansas City Athletics for a three-Game series beginning Tuesday, then finish the season at Denver, of all places, and facing The Colorado Rockies for three starting on Friday.  I believe that if the Twin Cities has an American sister city, it's Denver.  I expect there to be a lot of Twins fans in attendance.

#-1: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -2).  It may be surprising considering that the Big Ten is, I think, The Best Volleyball Conference, but Iowa has never been a power for as long as I have tracked the sport.  I don't remember the last time they've been in the tournament, if they have at all.  But on Thursday in Iowa City, the Hawkeyes took the Gophs to the edge before the U. prevailed in five Sets.  This is indeed a transition Year for the program.; I just hope Head Coach Keegan Cook knows what he's doing.

Big, busy Week ahead.  They're at second-ranked Nebraska tonight/Sunday night, then are home for back-to-back contests with Michigan Friday and #15 Penn St. Saturday.

#-2: Gopher soccer (Last Week: -5).  Lost at home to Michigan St., 3-1.  Er.  They've started out 0-2 in B1G play.  At Iowa this/Sunday afternoon, hosting Wisconsin Thursday.

#-3: Gopher football (Last Week: -3).  I can't fuckin' believe it.  I went to the bar where I usually see my alma mater's Games and saw that the gridiron Goofers were leading at Northwestern by 14.  That tracks; the U. ain't no title squad, but they're playing a group who lost its Head Coach because his players way back when were hazing.

We had a torrential (but needed) downpour from the evening through the overnight.  I was expecting at least the diehards to come out, but only one guy did, he's not a regular but he lives very close to the bar, and he left at around halftime.  He's a solid dude, and he was the one who told me to look back at the television set behind me because the Wildcats somehow fuckin' tied the Game up on Minnesota.  I was wrapped up in the contest I was watching, but he spun his head back toward the other TV seconds before I did, and we both caught the Pass to a wide-open Northwestern player for the Game-winning score in Overtime, 37-34.

This, I hear, is Year 7 of the P. J. Fleck Era.  He seems to average about one dumb Loss a season.  And as the Era lengthens, Golden Gopher football fans keep track of the really egregious defeats.  There was one Year they lost to Purdue.  There was one Year they lost to Bowling Green, and that appears to be the consensus Worst Loss Of The P. J. Fleck Era.  This is the passion of the mob talking, and I see the vitriol on social media, but this chokejob to Northwestern seems certain to replace the Loss to The Falcons as Fleck's worst ever.

Also, I find it ... interesting that while a new Head Coach can significantly elevate a college football program, and while he can consistently deliver the same level of success Year after Year (and I believe Fleck is doing that), the conspicuous Losses pile up, and at some point there is a breaking point where the fanbase just can't take it anymore.  Before Fleck, the most success Gopher football has had in recent memory was under Glen Mason.  He lasted about ten Years, but he was known for stepping on the occasional rake, too.  He was the HC for that Gophers team that blew, I believe, the biggest lead in Bowl Game history.  (I think it was the Insight Bowl, but it's a Bowl, so it doesn't really fuckin' matter.)  And while he was miles better than any HC going back to Lou Holtz, that collapse was enough for boosters to order Mason to be fired.  And he was -- around the holiday season, which is not ideal, but I think Mason was going to get paid if he were still coach by, like, that Christmas or something.

I wonder if boosters and the fans are getting fed up with Fleck like this.  He can't seem to beat Iowa, but he has had success against a Wisconsin team that's fallen on black days.  He's gotten them into Bowl after Bowl after Bowl, and he's won a few of them, as well.  Also, the landscape of college football has changed since Mason was let go.  Money for Head Coaches and the attendant staff is ridiculous and will get even more ludicrous, free agency (aka The Transfer Portal) now overheats every off-season, the B1G is furtively bringing in more schools in order to get more money from Fox, CBS and NBC, and the big specter of The Final Realignment, aka The Super League of only the best brand names in top-flight college football, is in the back of the mind of every athletic director and school president, hoping that their Head Coach -- or the one they hire to replace the one they have -- will be the one to win enough to somehow raise The Brand to the point where they're one of the Haves once College Football Rapture comes.  (To wit: Deion Sanders at Colorado.  I'm convinced he can win with the Buffaloes, and that will help Colorado build cachet and gain entry into this hypothetical yet inevitable Super League ... so long as he stays in Boulder.)  In sports it's better the devil you don't know.  The familiarity of seeing Fleck stumble against an overmatched opponent season after season may accrue enough contempt to finally convince the money power behind the scenes to shitcan Fleck and take a chance on another guy.  This Loss last/Saturday night may be the first, or the final, impetus toward that move.

That ballclub is back home Saturday to face Louisiana.  I wonder what the mood of the crowd will be.

Oh, and by the way, I do not throw the U. football team down as a #-Infinity despite the epic pooch-screwing because I don't have a season ticket to the U. football team.  That's different than ... uh, see below:

#-Infinity (tie): Lynx and United FC (Last Week, respectively: -7 and -4).  You know, they surprised me by upsetting the Sun in Connecticut in Game 2 of their series last Sunday, 82-75.  They needed to cut down on their Turnovers, and they did, committing only seven of them after turning the ball over 19 times in Game 1.  The Sun also cooled down from behind the arc; they went 16-of-30 in Game 1, but only 7-of-20 in Game 2.  Finally, someone else besides Napheesa Collier had to get hot, and that was Kayla McBride, who actually outscored Collier, 28-26, while shooting 6-for-11 from deep.  This was exactly what they needed to do to win.

Unfortunately, they couldn't pull off the upset and lost in the deciding Game 3 Wednesday at Target Center, 90-75.  While Collier poured in 31, the Sun locked everyone else down; McBride only got ten and shot 2-of-7 from 3.  Glad I decided not to go to Target Center and instead went to see the watch party for Minnesota United ... whoops.

Look, I'm trying not to be too hard on these players.  They have talent, that's obvious.  But it's also obvious that for right now the WNBA is going to be ruled by two superteams (if not one; I would've liked the Lynx's chances against New York, but Las Vegas seems invincible) for the next several Years, and there's a bumper crop of college prospects the next two seasons, only some of which will be compelled to stay in college for the NIL money.  But because they were not bad enough to miss out on the playoffs, they're in the dreaded middle.  It looks as though Minnesota will pick seventh in the WNBA Draft, and even though I need to research this a lot more, this could very well be a six-player Draft.  So they'll miss out on a true franchise player and have another Year stuck in mediocrity.

Meanwhile, I should talk more about the Looooooooooooooooons, but if I ruminate more about not one but two blown leads leading to two Losses (blowing a two-Goal lead and losing at the Galaxy Wednesday, then losing a 1-0 lead and losing to St. Louis at home in the driving rain last/Saturday night), and then remember I have a season ticket to this clown show, I might drive my head into the wall.  If I have time next Week, I want to go back and tally up how many Games they've blown a lead, how many leads they've blown (I swear they've lost leads twice in at least two Matches), and how many Points they've dropped from winning positions, and I will just assume that no other MLS club is even close to those three fucking ridiculous categories.

In the meantime I'll just throw these guys in as a #-Infinity just to show them how mad I am.  This bullshit is completely unacceptable.  They are giving away a playoff spot they were once in, and if they somehow make the postseason, screening Weeks like this prove that they don't deserve it.  I am such a goddamn fool for giving these fuck-ups money.  And I get to see them next Saturday in a home tilt vs. San Jose.  Maybe I'll get to see them blow yet another lead -- yippee!!!!!!!

Saving Money On Porn? Hopefully

I hope I haven't blog posted about this yet, but I don't have much else to talk about, at least for now.

I have been hardcore on OnlyFans ever since I listened to the devils of my worse nature and turned over my credit card.  After spiraling into a porn binge some days, where I was just racking up the charges, I tried to bargain with myself into treating them like rewards for being good.  The things I had rewarded myself for "being good," however, were really low, and I mean pathetically low, bars to reach, stuff like, "Haven't paid for porn in a week," or, "Had a tough day at work."  I'll be honest, there's a chance I might revert to that again some day in the future.

Nevertheless the charges were piling up, taking a big chunk of my paycheck every pay period.  I enjoyed it -- well, I enjoyed all the pictures and videos that showed the woman to whom I charged my credit card actually got naked.  But it's a hell of an expensive hobby, especially for a person who bought as frequently as I do.  That's what happens when you assign a credit card to the website from which you can buy as much porn as your penis desires with a tap on the screen.

If that's the case, then the best thing to happen to me is that my credit card expired.  Upon seeing that, I saw a surefire way to break, or at least limit, my (and I hate saying this, but it's probably correct) addiction.  I would need to go out of my way to update my card -- if "going out of my way" consisted of getting out of bed, fetching my wallet, taking out my new credit card, inputting its information, getting off the bed again, and putting the wallet back in my pants.  As much as I crave porn (and, again, I might fall back into it again at some point), what I don't like is moving once I'm in bed.  And those steps, to me, at least right now, is enough of a barrier for me to not put in new credit card information.

So, once my old credit card lapsed, which was around early August, I just ... haven't replaced it.  I haven't bought any photos or videos since.  I had several subscriptions, and I allowed all of those to expire.  I will admit that there are several babes on OF who offer free trial subscriptions, and I have accepted a few of those.  But I have so far been able to resist temptation.

Is this being reflected in my wallet?  I hope so.  But not only have I not inputted info for the the new credit card on OnlyFans, I have gone out of my way not to use that card, period.  That is an OCD thing.  I don't want to use a new card because it's in a "perfect" state, and I don't feel the need to change anything if I'm, for lack of a better word, OK going about my day without using it.  I have activated it, and I used it one day, for buying a ticket to a movie online.  (Ah, might as well; it's a Visa, and there are still places that take Visa but not American Express, though I think the number is dwindling.)  But I think that was early last month, and I have not used it since, and I'm proud of myself for that.  I'm racking up the charges on my other credit card, and that's reason enough to begin using this new one.  But I want to at least wait one full credit card cycle before going back to using it again.  I think I still have my Visa statements mailed to me, and I want to go one whole month without them sending a statement because there is no statement for Visa to mail.  Maybe I'll wait till Halloween, or even Thanksgiving, if I can help it.

In the meantime, since I am not allowing myself to buy porn on OF, I haven't been on OF a whole lot.  I drop in on occasion to see if any of the women on the free accounts flash their boobs or record themselves getting penetrated.  But not being able to easily pay for porn has curtailed my visits.  I think that's a good thing, and I think my wallet as well as my psyche will begin to heal -- at least for a bit, at least until I feed my porn addiction again.

If I wear shorts, I might get bitten by mosquitoes.  But if I wear long pants, I might roast.

Told my co-workers, to which they recommend layers.  OK, but it's a pain in the ass to take off and put on clothes depending on the weather.  I just want to wear one thing and just go.

But maybe I can't do that.

OK, that's all I can think about blog posting for now.  Oh, that and I hope I can pay for parking once I am up there.  Because if I can't, it's sort of a waste of a trip.

Sooooo Tired

If I were the man I was 20 years ago, I don't think I'd be as tuckered out as I am now.  But I'm not, so I am.

Nevertheless, I'm glad I did it.

Sorry to be so vague, but I want to get the blog post in.  Plus, I want to wait to talk about this till, oh, Saturday, if not later.

Right Place, Wrong Time

Stayed late at work -- again -- because the lab had several people call in sick.  There wasn't a whole lot of work, but it came so late that I had to stay late.

I was going to watch the United FC Match tonight.  Since I was staying late, I thought it best to go straight to the bar from work.  Which I did.  And then I saw the Lynx Game on all the TVs there.  Everyone there thinking that the Lynx are going to win and the Loons aren't?  (Well, I don't think both teams are going to win, but MNUFC has a better shot of winning than the Jynx.)

Then I realized that I am going to watch the United FC because they're on the road.  And the Loons are playing the Galaxy.  Of Los Angeles.  So the Game starts at 9:30.

So I didn't have to go to the bar directly from work after all.  So I had time to go home.

Well, I'm home now.  I realized I haven't done my daily blog post, which I'm doing now, so going home is worth it.  And I will be going back to the bar to watch the Match.  Gas, schmas.

The Food I Eat And The Weight I Gain

I complain to exhaustion -- privately, possibly incorrectly -- that the weight I have packed on my belly is because my parents keep feeding me food.  Well, if they're gone, that means there is no pressure to eat the food they give me.  So I should be able to finally get my weight under control and maybe even start losing weight, something I have desperately wanted to do.  Right?

Well, about that. ...  Like I have said many times before here on WAF, I have come to accept that when I am free of being given food by my parents, I instead go out and eat as much fast food and fancy food as my heart can devour.  I did it last/Monday night.  I was going to eat in, but dammit, it was National Cheeseburger Day.  Well, I have to celebrate National Cheeseburger Day!  Both McDonald's and Burger King had specials for their cheeseburgers; the former was selling them for only 50 cents, the latter was giving them away for free if you purchase something else for at least a buck.  So I went to Mickey D's to eat a cheeseburger and cookies for dessert (I was so busy at work that I had more than half of my coffee left to drink.  Pairing that with cookies was a no-brainer.)  I then went through the drive-thru after I put in my mobile order for BK (using the Wi-fi at Mickey D's), for a cheeseburger and a new wrap that they had.  I ate the two cheeseburgers, that wrap and, later, the cookies and the rest of my coffee, no problem.  Whether I needed to ... well, probably not.  After not having anything for breakfast and eating the last of the bananas that my parents left for me as an afternoon snack, I wasn't really starving.  I think I packed on the pounds today.

My folks have been gone a week, and it's possible, even likely, that I'm eating more now that they're gone.  A lot of it is on me.  For example, I went through with my plan to order a large pizza from Pizza Hut and eat it while watching football.  I ate the whole thing.  Frankly, I have eaten whole pizzas in the past, and I wanted to see if I could still do it.  Well -- I still got it!

I know eating all this stuff can't continue.  But -- and I am not using this as an excuse -- my parents have left a lot of food for me.  The more aggravating part of this is all the perishable stuff that I feel compelled to consume now, even though I don't want to.  I talked about the banana I took with me to work yesterday/Monday.  Well, they left four of them for me.  I like bananas, but not enough to eat them daily, and the skin was browning real quick.  So I ate one on Friday (or was it Saturday?), and I threw in the other two to make a smoothie I hadn't planned on making until I found time to work out.  That meant buying the other ingredients, like yogurt and frozen fruit.  On the other hand, another ingredient is milk, and my folks left a lot of whole milk for me to drink.  Unfortunately, even when pouring as much milk as I could into the blender without overfilling it, I still have a lot left.  And since I'm now totally convinced I'm lactose intolerant, I don't know when or even if I can finish the milk.  Meanwhile, that gallon of milk is sitting diagonally from the blender of the smoothie, two-thirds of which I have yet to go through.  And the frozen fruit is chilling in the freezer.

Oh yeah ... like they have done the last few times they've wintered in Las Vegas, my folks have prepared a lot of stuff they have frozen for me to eat over the intervening months.  This time they went all out.  There are ribs and beef and pork.  And this time around they've also froze for me fried rice and mashed potatoes and spaghetti sauce whenever I want to cook pasta to go with it.  I am grateful that they cared enough to leave food for me.  But I'm not sure they understand how much of a compulsion it is for me to eat out on my own.  That is a problem if they come back half a year from now and see any, and I mean any, food they left for me still in the freezer.  When they came back in the spring, they had a cow that I hadn't eaten a box of friggin' Hot Pockets they bought, presumably for me, on sale.  Their conniption fit was somewhat humorous, and somewhat not.  I don't think it matters; as long as it's frozen, it's edible, so why would they be so upset if they came back in the spring to see food still left over?  They can take it out, thaw it, and serve it for dinner that all three of can enjoy!

I may be going off on a tangent here.  All that food doesn't have a lot to do with the thrust of this blog post, which is me gaining weight eating food even though my parents aren't here.  But note that there is a lot of food, and I might be complaining some time during the winter of all the food that's still in the freezer because I chose to buy the food I chose to get fat on.

Masking Nowadays

Went to the Queens Of The Stone Age concert last/Sunday night.  Quick review: Josh Homme (still don't know how to pronounce his last name) I think missed a couple notes and a couple lines (QOTSA did a gig in Chicago as part of Riot Fest down there the day or night before), but he was still his brusque, inscrutable self.  The important thing is he played all the songs I like of them the most, including one they don't play all that often, the one that got me hooked on QOTSA in the first place: "The Lost Art Of Keeping A Secret."  (I think Homme missed a couplet in that one.)  The show ended with the triangular light set-up on-stage shining so bright I had to shield my eyes.  The band left the stage at that point, presumably without saying goodbye.  Well, that's them, I guess.

Since Saturday, I thought about whether to attend the concert in a mask.  Since the pandemic is ... waning, I guess (and I will get the shot ... soon ... as soon as I have time), I have largely gone back to normal -- with one exception: I mask up.  Not as much as the thick of the pandemic, though.  And my mask-wearing has ebbed in many ways.  If I go indoors to eat, for example, it's about 50/50 that I even bring a mask, let alone wear one.  I am eating, and if a mask is there to protect you from the coronavirus but only if you put it over your nose and mouth, it won't help a lick if you're eating, so why bring it?  I have to admit, though, that peer pressure goes into my thinking a lot more than, uh, common sense.  I wouldn't care about wearing a mask to, say, Hooters if I didn't think I would get shit over it.  (And that's why I hope that the motherfucker who shouted at me "COVID's over!" at the State Fair, well, dies of COVID.  Fucking bully can go fuck himself.)

There are a couple of calculi I thought about for the concert.  It is a concert, and even though I got a cider to drink, you're there to watch music being played, not to eat.  It would make a lot more sense, then, to wear a mask that'll be in your face a lot more than it wouldn't be.  And if there was a, uh, gentler band I was going to see, I would have gone all out, N95 and everything.  But while I like Queens Of The Stone Age, and I think they have some, uh, progressive stylings to them, they're still a rock band, and I felt as though I would get shit for wearing an all-out mask to the concert.

I was going to wear my KN95, which appears to be the mask du jour for the (few) people who do wear masks while going out, but I don't know where it is.  I'm afraid I lost it, or threw it away.  I've had it for a while, so maybe I needed to get rid of it.  Anyway, without that in my car, I thought about double-masking -- a surgical mask underneath those cloth ones that have a pocket for a filter inside it.  (Remember those?  No one talks about them now.  I wonder if scientists have come to unanimous agreement that they don't work.)  But I have one cloth mask that is dotted with the logo of my alma mater, and I was afraid I was going to get ridiculed.  And then the other cloth mask I have in my glove compartment has a tear of blood.  I wanted to look bad-ass when I ordered it way back in the teeth of the pandemic, but 1) that blood tear isn't lined up right, and 2) I was really scared that someone would look at me and think I was trying to be bad-ass when, if you look at me, I'm not, and that guy was going to come up on me and challenge me.  Didn't want that if the crowd at the QOTSA was full of Republican tough guys.

So I wore just a surgical mask.  I'm not ready to declare them useless, but I think there is a long-standing consensus that they don't work all that well compared to N95s and even KN95s when it comes to preventing contraction of the virus.  And I was not razzed at all at The Armory.  But the few people I saw there were wearing the better KN95 masks, and seeing so many people breathing out in the enclosed rock hall, I conjured up paranoid visions of breathing in the virus.  So why in the hell didn't I just go all out and wear my N95?  I have many of them at home, and I haven't used any of them in weeks.  A concert would have been the perfect occasion to use them.  And so what if I get beat up for wearing one?  At least I wouldn't get COVID-19 too, right?

I am so disappointed in myself for caving into public perception at the cost of my health.  My main concern when thinking about wearing a mask is, "How would other people think about me wearing one of these things?" and not, "Would I be safer wearing a mask?"  And I've thought that way for too, too long.  I need to have the balls to wear a proper mask out in public, and fuck what strangers think.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#-1: Twins (Last Week: -2).  A 3-4 screening Week, but in a sign of how fucking shitty every team in this fucking sports town was this Week, they get the top spot in the survey, and it's not even close.  That's because they continue to do as well, or as badly, as second-place Cleveland, and so they maintain a seven-Game lead on the Guardians for the Division.  The Magic Number is 7.

One person on X (I want to deadname it Twitter; it's a social media platform, not a person!) speculated that it's not beyond the realm of possibility that the Twinks could catch the American League West Division winner (whether that is Houston, Seattle or Texas) and get a bye out of the Wild Card Round.  (He tweeted, or X'd, this out last/Saturday, as the Twins lost to the Chicago White Sox at Comiskey.)  Maybe that miracle would help them avoid The Tampa Bay Rays, who took two-of-three from them mid-Week.  But believe it or not, the Bay Rays are the last great team the Twins have to face the rest of the season, so the opportunity to roll up the victories is there.  After finishing with the Pale Hose this/Sunday afternoon, they travel to Cincinnati for a three-Game series versus the Reds, who are the last good team they have to face the rest of the season (the Reds are in the thick of the National League Wild Card race) starting Monday, then come home for a weekend trio with the Ohtani- and Trout-less Los Angeles Angels Of Anaheim Angels Of Los Angeles Angels Of Anaheim Angels Of ... beginning on Friday.

#-2: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -6).  This is Keegan Cook's first Year, and so I have to breathe deeply, in and out, remembering that I always give mulligans to a Head Coach's first Year.  With that being said, this was a tremendously disappointing screening Week.  Minnesota hosted their annual Diet Coke Classic, and they split.  I say it was humiliating losing to 14th-ranked Creighton in five Sets last/Saturday afternoon.  (Saturday was such a piece of shit for Twin Cities teams: The Gopher volleyball team, the Gopher football team, the Twins and Minnesota United all lost.  The locals went 0-4.  Man, fuck this sports town.)  I saw them play High Point at Maturi Friday evening, and while they rolled over the Panthers, 21-12-10, I didn't think they were good enough to upset the Goofers.  But they were.

What is even more embarrassing for Minnesota is that they dropped a set to High Point.  It's fucking High Point!!!  But the Panthers came out from the start with guns blazing, and they took Set one on the U., 25-22.  Sure, the Gophs introduced them to a little bit of prison sex from then on, 11-20-17.  But still -- you dropped a Set to fucking High Point!!!

This team should drop into the teens in the rankings, and rightly so.  They may not be done falling yet, either.  But the non-conference schedule is over; they begin Big Ten play at Iowa Thursday.

(Note: the teams from here below went a combined 0-7 the past seven Days.  Fuck this sports town.)

#-3: Gopher football (Last Week: -1).  I truly believe that the advent of the College Football Playoff has finally ushered in many, many more non-conference matchups between BcS schools than the eye-rolling litany of bodybag Games that always got Septembers off to slow starts.  I definitely think that for top-flight college football as a whole, and I somewhat think the same for the gridiron Gophers.  Looking back on previous Years, the U. has scheduled a few teams from the soon-to-be-radically-changed Pac-12 (Colorado, Oregon St., Cal), but North Carolina?  That's a new one.

In fact, I saw on Twitter the note that both schools have had football programs for over a Century now, yet had not faced each other on the field until yesterday/Saturday afternoon.  Now, if you remember, they actually were supposed to play a home-and-home with The Tar Heels about a Decade ago, but then-Gopher Head Coach Jerry Kill told the athletic department to pay UNC $800,000 to buy out of the series.  That was a pussy move by Kill, quite frankly.  But he possibly was afraid of what actually happened: A thorough 31-13 defeat at Chapel Hill that may not have been as close as even the score indicates.  The Gophs were facing Drake Maye, who some feel may be the #1 pick in next Year's NFL Draft.  He threw two Interceptions and got sacked twice, but also threw two Touchdowns and for 414 Yards.  Meanwhile, U. Quarterback Athan Kaliakmanis went 11-of-29 for only 133 Yards.  He didn't throw a TD, but did throw one pick and was sacked once.  That and one other statistics tells the story of the Game: North Carolina was 12-of-17 on Third Down; Minnesota was 3-of-12.

I do appreciate the step up in competition; they need to face more teams like The Tar Heels, not shy away from them.  And as a college football fan, I like seeing other BcS teams Minnesota has never faced before in football.  And bowl Games don't count, in my opinion; the Gophers have faced several SEC teams in December.  But I want to see the Gophers play them in Games that count.  And I want to see those fresh schools play at Huntington Bank Stadium, in a crisp, late-September setting, not in a sterile, corporate environment in Florida.  By the way, The Tar Heels do come here, fulfilling our part of the home-and-home series, August 29.  Maybe I'll see the UNC band at the Minnesota State Fair.

Meanwhile, the U. has a bye and then on the 30th face ... Louisiana.  OK, so not all the non-conference opponents will be big ones.  Baby steps.

#-4: United FC (Last Week: -4).  Man, this team just fucking pisses me off.  I have been told by more than one writer that according to the advanced analytics, the Loooons are a really good team.  I haven't seen that much this season.  And so I will go back to Bill Parcells when he admonished that, "At the end of the day, you are what your record says you are."

And the record says that MNUFC remains a shameful underachiever at home after I had to bear witness to last/Saturday night's 1-0 Loss to Sporting Kansas City, a team fighting for the postseason along with United FC.  Like too many goddamn times before, the XI created chances and then couldn't finish them.  Meanwhile, a late counterattack caught the Looooons slipping, and SKC scored.  By the way, this Match was officiated by Tori Penso, who referred the Women's World Cup Final.  I thought this was going to be a well-reffed Match; unfortunately, I don't believe it was.  Right before the Goal, Reynoso was held and spun down, and Penso didn't call it.  It appeared she had a "have at it, boys" attitude to the Game, and she let slide many rough plays.

However, that is no excuse for MNUFC losing a winnable Game, and now they've slipped into the 8-9 Play-In (with, as of press time, SKC).  They continue to lose at home; how in the hell are you going to succeed if you play worse at home than you do on the road?  I guess it's good for United FC, then, that they'll be at the Galaxy Wednesday.  Unfortunately, they'll be back at Allianz Saturday to host The Best Team In The Western Conference, St. Louis.

#-5: Gopher soccer (Last Week: -3).  I'm still not sure how good or bad this squad is supposed to be.  But in Erin Chastain's second (?) Year as Head Coach of this XI, there should be improvement over last Year.  Granted, Michigan is a ranked club and the Match played Friday was in Ann Arbor.  But I still find dropping a 1-0 decision disappointing, especially when you see that the Gophers had a baker's dozen Corner Kicks to the Wolverines' one.  You couldn't get one of those in the net?

Host Michigan St. Thursday.

#-6: Vikings (NEW SEASON!).  And already the season is on the brink because they played their first two Games over a span of four Days and they lost both!  Yippee!!

The Loss to the Eagles in Philadelphia on Thursday was way predictable, even though I was shocked that the ViQueens pushed the spread of +6.  I thought they were going to get blown out, but the Offense did spark them back into a desperate Onside Kick with about a Minute left short of tying up a Game they were getting blown out in.  No, the way worse defeat was the inexplicable season opener at home vs. Tampa Bay last Sunday.  They shouldn't have lost the Game to a retooling Buccaneers squad starting journeyman Quarterback Baker Mayfield.

The early weakness for this club, sadly, is Turnovers.  They committed three versus the Bucs (all in the First Half) and four against the Iggles (three of which happened in the First Half).  Avoid those drive-killers and there's a chance they could have won both.  Unfortunately, they didn't.  And Minnesota may now be following the yo-yo cycle that seemingly have been stuck in for Years now, where they get a first-place schedule because they won the Division, but they can't take the step up in class and so they miss the playoffs and get a second- or third-place schedule for the next Year, which they feast upon to a Division title and a first-place schedule the next season and ... well, you catch my drift.  Anyway, I thought this team was going to get around eight Wins and max up at nine.  That Defense is still leaky, and they have only proved that in failing to stop a Tampa Bay team trying to run out the clock and by getting pushed around on the ground by Philly.

I say the season is over, even though they play the third Game of it next Sunday at home versus The Los Angeles Charges.

#-7: Lynx (Last Week: -5).  Yeah, this will be the next-to-last appearance in The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey for the Jynx.  First, I should go back to last Sunday and note that they got crushed in the final Game of the regular season at Indiana by 15.  The Fever are an improved club, but they didn't make the playoffs.  Also, I want to say that the Jynx got blasted because they rested all their starters, but they didn't.

They had to, however, rest Point Guard Jessica Allen because of her broken hand.  And that may be the reason the Connecticut Sun, their First Round opponent, fucking obliterated the Jynx on Wednesday in Game 1 of the WNBA postseason.  Minnesota scored only two-thirds of the Sun's total, 90-60.  (I should go back and regret the error I made in last Week's WMNSS whereby I just flat-out said that Minnesota would be playing Dallas.  I had no idea that The Atlanta Dream would be able to sneak past the Jynx for fifth place in the league by virtue of a Win in their penultimate Game.)  The Jynx committed 19 Turnovers on Wednesday, leading to 30 Sun Points.  Get this: In the last three Games against Connecticut, the Jynx committed 20, 19 and 19 Turnovers.  Fifty-eight TOs total.

You don't think the Sun is just gonna pressure the shit out of the Jynx again in this/Sunday afternoon's closeout Game 2?  They will, and they will probably succeed, and a season that showed that this outfit had some pep to them will go down in flames because the organization still hasn't found a PG to replace Lindsay Whalen once Whalen left.  And they'll be stuck probably just on the outside of The Most Loaded WNBA Draft Class In The League's History, just because the franchise decided they needed to win a little more.  Well, winning a little more is all they're gonna have.

They aren't the worst team in this Week's Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey.  But I know they're going to be a #-Infinity next Week.  Putting them last now means the fall to the bottom won't be as hard.

Bad Driver: JMW 486

This Mediocre White Dude in a silver Toyota sedan wouldn't move his ass in the parking lot of the Chipotle close to me.  I was going to around him to drive off when he started driving.  I honked my horn because he was annoying the shit out of me.  And he stuck his hand out the window and gave me the finger lol.  I gave him the finger back out of reflex; I shouldn't have done that because that comeback bullshit is weak.  But to make sure I wasn't stuck behind some asshole with a gun, I waited until he turned right and I turned left to lean on my horn again.

Prick, if you don't want to get honked, move your ass!  And don't flick me off, you slow motherfucker. ...

Time To Port

I thought I talked about this, but I don't see it in my cursory Blogger search.  If I have talked about it before, I apologize for talking about it again.  But it's what I want to blog post about now.

As a sign that either time stretches and contracts in a way it hadn't before COVID or that I am getting very, very old, I am only pretty sure that this happened this year and when my parents were home.  Nor do I remember the circumstances behind how they figured it out.  But one morning, my parents told me that the home phone, the landline, wasn't working -- again.  And, for some reason, they asked me to test out the alarm.  When it's set off, it's supposed to trigger a call to the alarm company.  My folks figured out that didn't happen, presumably because the call is supposed to come from the phone line the alarm company has on file -- the landline.

So, to test it, I was told by the alarm company to put the alarm on test and then to trip it, to see whether or not the landline indeed is not sending that call to the alarm company.  When you trip an alarm, you hear some moderately-timed beeping, and then you hear more frequent beeping, and then finally it goes BEEEEEEP!!!!-BEEEEEEEP!!!!-BEEEEEEP!!!!, and I could barely stomach the bile coming from inside me as my fight-or-flight instinct kicked in in anticipation of the escalating warning from the alarm.  I hate that sound.  I truly do.

Anyway, once the alarm is fully triggered, we had to call the alarm company to see if they got a call.  They didn't.  Tried it again.  They didn't.  So the home phone number doesn't work.

Last time it went dead, my parents asked me to call the phone company and get it fixed.  Not this time.  Nope, those unsentimental motherfuckers (Mother in particular) went gung-ho on this idea they heard of that an alarm could be set up through wi-fi.  It'll be an obviously better connection, plus it'll save money.  All I have to do is say the word ... and abandon the home phone number we have ever had, and I have ever known.

I could see the writing on the wall.  It wasn't working.  It's supposed to work, but once again, after about two years (I think), it was on the fritz again.  And how can I argue against saving money?  But ... this was our phone number.  We have had it for almost a half-century.  It's become a part of us.  Well, they don't give a shit, but it's become a part of me.  I don't care how ridiculous this sounds, but I am defined by that phone number -- a phone number that I haven't used in decades, a phone number that apparently hadn't worked in months, but it's a part of me.  And I sure as fuck won't let a piece of myself die just because it makes sense.  (Yeah, that sentence sounds crazy.  I mean it.)

I couldn't beat back this situation and my parents' mental momentum.  Once they decide something needed to be done, they want it done.  They wanted my permission to do this (and they needed me to call the person who installed the alarm to come over and convert the trip line from phone to wi-fi), and like a complicit motherfucker, I said yes.  They then told me to call the phone company and cancel the line.  I refused to do that.  But I told them I did.

And I still have the landline.  Yes, and I'm still paying for it, even though the line is still dead.  Have to say, the phone company has no damn clue it's not working, and I kind of think it's on them to know that it isn't, and that it isn't incumbent upon us to tell the company.  So I'm not sentimental for the phone company.  I still am sentimental for the phone number.

In the past, I have wondered whether I could take the home phone number and use it as a cellphone number.  I don't know when it was possible, but it is now.  It's called "porting."  Now, of course, I have a cellphone number that I've had -- and has also become a part of me -- for a long, long time, and I don't think changing cell numbers will make a lot of sense now.  But I want to keep it, and I think I can use the old home number as something else: My Google Voice number.  I have a phone number to which calls can be forwarded, and I may have had that for about a year or so, but I am not sentimental for that number.  I can give it up.  And I will.

The thing is is that one cannot port a house number into a Google Voice number.  No, you have to convert the landline to a cellphone number, then port that number onto Google Voice.  There will be one-time fees for doing this port twice, but I will do it.  I'm just scared that, for some reason, it doesn't work and I'll lose the landline for good.

And that is what I am going to do today as soon as I am done blog posting this.  I hope to find my carrier's store, find someone who's genuine and competent and not on the make, get him to call the landline company and then give me a SIM card to which the landline can be imprinted.  In the meantime I will need to put this new SIM card in my phone because apparently either the phone company or Google will "call" me on this new SIM and I have to answer.  I cannot do this double port thing without answering this "call."  I then have to ask Google to port the number from the SIM, and maybe in a week or two (?) this will all be done.

I found instructions on doing this double port thing online, and I have no idea if this is going to work.  But for the sake of keeping my home phone number -- and in the name of saving money I am otherwise wasting -- I need to do this, and now's the time to do it.  Wish me luck.

Low-Key Rudeness, Or Is It Me?

So it's been a perfect weather day for me -- around 65 degrees, overcast.  Sure, it drizzled a bit in the morning, and so my ass was wet from eating al fresco at the second taco place.  And sure, I scalded my tongue from the two hot sauces I was given at the first taco place.  But how can I complain when we have such gorgeous (to me anyway) weather, when I have the day off, when I started the day going to ******e's (latest) place and getting a handjob from her, when I get to go to not one, not two, but three taco places today (the third one's tonight), when I get to see a women's college volleyball Match between two schools I am not rooting for and therefore I won't have my heart broken because I don't have a team that could lose, and I was treated warmly enough at that Republican fast food bastion called Chick-Fil-A?

Well, not to say my day's ruined, but I can complain when I run into assholes.

So at the first taco place the parking behind the restaurant is real tight.  Thank Buddha I have a backup camera so I didn't hit anything, but my compact was squeezed in there pretty good.  After enduring the hot sauce and finishing up my two tacos, I go to my car.  I was there half an hour, maybe 35 minutes.  I was using hand sanitizer when I saw one dude, then another, walk up to and into the car parked right, and I mean right, up against me.  The second dude, who for some reason was walking several yards behind the first dude, was the passenger, and my car was next to the passenger side of this car.  We locked eyes -- maybe.  I had started my car, so I thought that I would just drive off to give him space to open his door and get in.  But I had sanitizer in my hand, so I was giving him hand gestures to tell him, basically, "Hey, you want me to move out of the way for you?"  But he just stared back.  He opened the door without hitting my car, shimmied in, and as the first dude (who was the driver) had already started the car by the time his passenger got in, they drove off immediately.

The amount of time from when I noticed the first dude to when they drove off was, oh, 20 seconds.  And I was still there, car turned on and sanitizer in my hand.  So it may not be rude ... but damn, it seems weird as hell to me.

---

So the second run-in with assholes came at the second taco place.  I was planning on lunch at this place today, but then I saw that the first taco place was very close to where ******e now lives, so I was going to go eat just at that first taco place.  But then I thought, "Hmmm, YOLO, why can't I go to both?"  And enduring the tacos from the first taco place, which were otherwise fantastic, because I didn't want to be (there's that word again) rude about not using their hot sauces, convinced me to basically cleanse my palate by going to the second taco place.  Got it?  Good.

So anyway ... this second taco place is one where you order online while at your table.  I usually sit outside at this place because 1) COVID's got my scared and 2) I like the vibe of outdoor dining when I eat here.  I dried my ass once I got home.  So I ordered and then, as I usually do, I go in to wash my hands in their restroom.  I go out and wait.  The guy comes out with my drink and says, "I had your drink!  I didn't know where you were!"  And I was telling him, "Yeah, sorry, I went in to wash my hands ..." he just walked away.  Didn't acknowledge what I was saying, didn't break stride, nothing.  He sat my drink down, said his bitch talk, and walked away.  Like I can't wash my hands.  Like I have to be sitting in a fucking chair in order for this prick to give me my drink.  Man, I will not apologize for asking for good customer service when I'm eating out.  That doesn't make me entitled.  And I'm not entitled for wondering what the fuck is wrong with this rude little bitch boy.

---

No-no -- if I run into assholes all day ... I run into assholes all day.  It is not me.  I am not the asshole.

Must not give in to negative thoughts ... must not spiral ... good day, good day. ...

Hottest Babe In The Hooters Calendar: August 2023

My parents just left, so I haven't been able to let the month totally soak into my consciousness, and yet we're halfway through the month and frankly, this is the perfect time to analyze the month, so I am going to dive in anyway.

Not a bad month.  I think that of the dozen girls for August '23, I can call out a half-dozen of them for their beauty.  Of those, there are two I choose to recognize as Honorable Mentions.  One is Marissa, of Countryside, Ill., a pale-skinned beauty with long blonde hair who is wearing a light-blue two-piece bikini.  Her hands are in front of her stomach, which is a pet peeve of mine when it comes to photos for the Hooters calendar, but her fingers are holding the ends of the tie holding the front of her top together, and I'm always a sucker for that shit.  The other HM is Kansas City's Jenny.  Not a fan of her posing with her left side to the camera, and her left arm is totally obscuring her abs.  But she is smiling way more than any of the waitresses for the month, and her smile radiates.  Also, she's pictured next to or in a lake; you can see rushing water behind her.  Not a bad backdrop.  Finally, although you can't see it, her red bottom (she too is wearing a two-piece) is showing, I think, half of her ass.  It would have been fun to see it, but I will give her credit for what she's probably showing anyway.

OK ... so fourth place goes to Mackenzie, hailing from Daytona Beach.  This dark brunette has long hair (well, all the Hooters girls I talk about have long hair), but she's wearing the kind of swimsuit (this one's turquoise) where the fabric is all held together by a metal ring that is suspended in front of her belly.  This swimsuit doesn't show a lot of skin, but it's a unique design.  Better yet, she poses with her hands on top of her head, and that look of total abandon -- or surrender -- is resonating with me.

In third place is Nyla, hailing from Naples, Fla.  Long, brown hair, black two-piece bikini.  She's holding a towel behind her.  She is not totally full frontal; she's cheating to the side a bit.  But she's showing a hell of a lot of skin, and she's got a hot-as-fuck slim body.

Second place goes to The Main Girl, Eden, of Abilene, Tex.  As you probably know, I'm not a huge fan of one-pieces, which she is wearing (albeit with the Hooters logo printed down her left bikini line.  Bus she's directly facing the camera, which I prefer.  You can tell she's a slim, short, fucking gorgeous woman with a beautiful face -- and, this might come off as weird, but she's lit very well.  Finally, she's got Farrah Fawcett hair, and I'm totally digging that hair!

Finally, I award first place to Las Vegas' Tasha.  This hottie with the long blonde hair is photographed almost sideways.  But what really gets me is her getup: A jean bikini bottom and cutout Hooters top, showing off her fucking toned abs.  Her unique swimwear is really turning me on, so that's what puts Tasha over the top.

So thanks to all the women this month.  I look forward to masturbating to all of them in due time.

Back To My Whoring!

Well, now that my folks are gone, and even though I shouldn't because I'm not made out of money, I am slowly getting back to my whoring.  One horny af girl can't do it -- or me -- Friday, my planned day off, because of her job, but another horny af girl can do it, and me, so I need to drive down to her place in south Minneapolis to get a handjob from her.

I figure I can squeeze in a whore a week, at least for the time being.  The first woman who's busy on Friday may not be busy on the weekend or a weeknight; I'll save her for next week.  Then the stripper who lives out west will be in town the following weekend.  I need her to massage me at least once.  Hell, if she needs a place to crash for the weekend, she can do it at my place.  I trust her enough.  After that ... well, maybe that batshit crazy hot stripper might call; if she can do a massage, I'll see her (probably drive to her place) the following week.  And then ... eh, maybe take a break from my whoring.  We shall see if I can resist temptation ... and if I still have money after all this.

Addendum To: Worst Day At Work. Ever.

Today/Wednesday I go back into work, not knowing/dreading what awaits me after the shit day I had on Monday.  I was hoping I could just ease into my day -- pick off the low-hanging fruit, take a deep breath, then pray that the workload isn't as massive as it was two days ago.

But that ain't gonna fuckin' happen, because I just realized that the very first thing I need to do when I get to work is change the password to get into the fucking computer.  My company -- and I'm guessing all companies, come to think of it -- tell their employees they need to change their passwords periodically for security purposes.  I was warned for several days leading up to Monday that it was going to expire yesterday/Tuesday.  The last thing I should have done before I left work Monday was change my password but, well, I had The Workday From Hell and I forgot all about it.

I have forgotten changing passwords first thing in the morning in mornings past, and that's its only special hell.  More than once have I tried changing the password and instead have been locked out.  In cases like that, I have to call IT.  In extreme cases, to prove to IT that I indeed work where I work, I have had to ask my boss to step in and make a call.  All of this takes time -- time better spent on working.  Fuck me, it's all coming back to me now ... the last time I had to change my password, which was a few months ago, I was so locked out that I couldn't get started for 90 minutes.  I think my supervisor let me work on another computer with her login, which I think is against the rules.  Shit, man, remembering that bullshit gives me chills right now.  I was so backed up with work because of that goddamn delay.  My day was ruined.  Well, not as bad as Monday, but still plenty ruined.

Oh, wait; what if I get locked out for 90 minutes today and have as much work as I did on Monday?  Well, if that happens, fuck it, I might just quit.  Goddamn computers and their security bullshit. ...

Worst Day At Work. Ever.

I should have known that last week, where I worked in The Fourth Department and somehow left after eight hours all four workdays (Monday was Labor Day), was too good to be true.  I was hoping beyond hope that I had turned a corner when it came to work.  Sure, my boss was pissing me off about overtime, but he seems to have backed off.  And frankly, it has been a relief to come home "when I'm supposed to."

That was all blown to shit yesterday/Monday.  I really don't know what happened since the number of forms, while extremely high, was not an amount I hadn't seen before.  But it was a combination of going through all of those plus answering phones plus dealing with other weird shit plus another batch of stuff that came through in the afternoon (something, I realized, that didn't happen in any of the four days I worked last week -- a big reason, I also realized, why I left work on time last week) that I could not finish all the forms that came in before my self-imposed deadline of two extra hours of overtime only.  This is the first time that has happened to me since the early days of working in The Fourth Department.  Then, I was about to throw the monitors against the wall because I was so goddamned overwhelmed with figuring out just what the hell I was supposed to do to get all the information I need to get.  Yesterday I knew how get all the information; I was just ... overwhelmed.

I'm kind of embarrassed that I didn't finish all the stuff that fell into my lap.  I now pride myself for being able to at least touch every form that came in that day at least once, even if I have to work late.  But ... shit, man, there was just a lot.  Thing is, the morning couldn't have started off better.  Maybe there was one answer that came in over the weekend I dealt with top of the morning, and there were very few forms I needed to work on again.  I got into the new work 90 minutes into my day.  I thought I would be able to get through whatever came at me because I was starting the new stuff so early.  But I took a huge gulp at the pile of crap that waited for me from the weekend, and the other shit just kind of fucked me over through the rest of the day.  At lunch I called Father and told him I would be home at 7, the latest I would be home if I were going straight from work to home.  That was around 2:30.  I usually don't know how my afternoon is going to work out at that time; for all I know, things could settle down and I could leave earlier than I feared.  But I knew, based on the mountain of work I still had to tackle after lunch because of everything else I needed to deal with first, that that wasn't going to fucking happen.  And goddammit, I was right.

I got so stressed and anxious and upset as 6:30 crept closer that I developed a new knot, one up against the left side of my neck, that was getting really distracting.  I was scared that I wouldn't be able to clock out at 6:30 because I was balancing getting as much of the work as I could done and making sure I not only did all my end-of-day stuff but also cleaned out the Internet browsers and tidied up the workspace by 6:30.  I had to cut it off with several forms left over.  I needed to cut it a tad shorter than I would have because I needed to clean up because I am not working today/Tuesday.  Turns out, I now realize, I don't think I did a great job of cleaning up the workspace.  I did remember to apologize to my supervisor for leaving her all this work, however.

Hope she's not mad.  Hope my boss isn't mad, either.  I really hope he doesn't fuckin' ask me why I stayed ten hours and still couldn't get all my shit done.  If he accuses me of just sloughing off ... man, I don't know what I'll do.  I was working my ass off, man, really.  What really pisses me off was the helplessness I felt yesterday afternoon.  I thought I had overcome all my feelings of abandonment and confusion once I started "getting" The Fourth Department.  But by sheer tonnage, I was back to feeling besieged.  I hope I don't get that goddamn feeling again when I go back to work tomorrow/Wednesday, and I hope I don't get any blowback for the decisions I made in doing the best I could yesterday/Monday.

My Attempts To Be Light-Hearted And Sociable Aren't Going Very Well

So last Monday/Labor Day, as I was spending some final minutes with my friend at the Minnesota State Fair, I saw a hot woman all tatted up walk by with who presumably is her boyfriend.  I recognize her.  She is (or was; hadn't seen her the past couple Matches) a capo for MNUFC.  She also is ... well, shit, I'm just going to call her a porn star.  She has an OnlyFans and I have bought at least one photo of her completely naked and, maybe, inserting a dildo into herself.  And on top of all that, I swear, I swear, I have spoken to her before once back in the soccer club's semi-pro days up near where I live.  There was a season-ending party for the club.  I came to eat free food, and she and another woman just sat next to me and we started chatting.  I think those two worked for the franchise at the time.

Anyway, I don't expect her to remember that, or even who I am.  But I follow her on X (formerly known as Twitter, glink), where, after I got home from the State Fair, I saw a tweet from her (which she made presumably before the State Fair) about going to the Fair and hating it.  And I thought, "Hey!  This is a great time to tweet that I saw her in passing while I was having a drink with my friend!"  And I did that.  And ... nothing.  I don't expect her to get back to me on this, and I shouldn't assume the worst because I didn't get a like or a follow.  But ... is she creeped out that I told her I saw her at the Fair?

Oh, and another thing.  I think also that evening I went on Facebook and looked through a Mensa group I'm in.  A guy who I met over the Super Bowl when it was here posts a lot on there, more so than any other member.  It's usually about weird stuff.  This post is about this, uh, meme or whatchamacalit whereby (and I have no idea if this is true) Schiphol airport in Amsterdam apparently had this huge problem with cleaning costs because were missing while urinating at urinals, so the airport installed pictures of flies in the bottom of the urinals so men would aim their piss at it.

So, one of the commenters in the group said, "I aim at drain fly larvae at work."  And to me, it sounded like he was using this meme as a way to complain about his co-workers.  We are Mensans -- we not only are smart, but we have kind of a randy sense of humor.  Then again, we also have a problem with reading the room.  But I was kind of feeling myself and thought I would type out a really great joke I made when I saw his comment.  So I replied to him -- and to be clear, I don't know the guy, we're just part of the same "exclusive" group -- something to the effect of, "What did your co-workers do to you to make you pee on them?"  And the guy goes, "What?"  And I immediately started backpedaling -- "Oh, sorry!  I meant that as a really bad joke!  You know what?  I'm just gonna erase it!"  And I erased my comment.

Haven't been cancelled yet.  But this trying to be a social person doesn't seem to be working out.

Expenses Without Receipt

Starting from Sunday, September 10:

• So the last of my three sojourns to the Minnesota State Fair was Labor Day, and as usual I used cash on a lot of food items, but also these two funnel-looking things that are supposed to drain liquids that are trapped in the bottom of bottles into other bottles.  You know that you throw away bottles of lotion or shampoo or hand sanitizer with some, and maybe a lot, of stuff left in it.  Tossing that all is such a waste.  Well, these things are supposed to help save on that.  Unfortunately, I bought this on impulse with a friend of mine I saw at the State Fair and so I have no idea whether these things even work.  The last, and only other, time I bought something at the Fair was a pruning saw, and that actually worked.  Hope these two -- and I bought two of them -- work as well.  Along with a dill pickle lemonade polenta from the Hamline Church Dining Hall, water from Bobby & Steve's, a chocolate malt from the Food Building, MinneCookieDough Pie, a Lemon Sorbet from Quench'd, and a large Coke from Bridge N' Barrel Root Beer, and I shelled out a total of $43.
• The second time I went to the Fair was Thursday, August 31, the day of the Duran Duran concert.  Got Manny's Tortas' non-alcoholic "pina colada," a donut from Peachey's with peanut butter creme (and a tip), and Dino's Urban Growler Ginger Basil Hard Seltzer Cocktail.  The total: $30.50.
• And on my way out I saw those bucket drummers, and I felt charitable so I gave them: $1.
• On Wednesday the 30th I went to Moler to get a shave.  The dude was thorough and really good, so with tip I spent: $13.
• That night, on my way to the MNUFC Match, I saw some kids selling cookies at a corner.  This was the second time I saw them.  I bought a raspberry cookie for: $1.
• I saw these kids Sunday the 27th as well.  They seem nice, but they need to work on their marketing, specifically the fact that the sign they have on their table was pointed away from the intersection.  I was kitty corner from them when I saw a couple people buy cookies from them, and I was curious to what they were selling.  Got a chocolate chip cookie, but I think more people would have bought more if either they swung their table around or if they put up another sign off the side of the table for everyone walking behind them.  But that's just me: $1.
• Oh, and after the Match I went to the State Fair for the first time.  Paid cash for Holy Land Mediterranean lemonade and RC's BBQ Maui-Sota Sticky Ribs for a grand total of: $19.
• To Saturday the 26th ... some kids in my neighborhood was selling lemonade.  It could have been colder on this hot day, but I admire enterprising kids: $1.
• Friday, August 18 -- I went to a gas station (maybe it was Casey's?) to cash in on all the lottery tickets I won.  I lost a lot more in playing, but I got an Infusion of: $16.
• That afternoon I saw my shoe shiner, who is back to shining shoes!  It looks as though she missed the life.  She no longer owns her spot, but I think that's what she wants.  I'm just glad I was able to get my Doc Martens shined for the first time in almost 18 months!  Plus tip: $20.
• Saturday, August 5 was a day where a Carbone's pizza relatively close to the airport had a patio pizza party.  It was so popular the patio was packed, so I just peeked my head into the patio to listen to bossa nova music while eating my "special" pizza.  With Coke and tip: $9.
• All the way back to Monday, July 31, where I went to the Heights to see King Kong on its 90th anniversary.  I watched it once before, after I graduated from college but before I cared about finding a job or making money, and so I spent my afternoons renting out classic movies on VHS.  One of the films I watched is King Kong, and seeing it now after all these years I was surprised at how violent it was, even if the action was stop-motion.  By the way, I don't think the film sided with King Kong, but it should have, though I might be saying that through modern eyes.  Popcorn and tips to concessions and the organist means I spent: $7.50.
• Wednesday, July 26: Breakfast at McDonald's before work: $5.45.

Once again, I need to do these more frequently.  Done through September 10.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#-1: Gopher football (Last Week: -1).  Dispatched Eastern Michigan at Huntington Bank last/Saturday night, 25-6.  Guess they could've made the score more lopsided, but P. J. Fleck wanted to keep the ball on the ground and did so, therefore the Gophers didn't need to do much to ensure the victory.  Don't know where they would rank among teams that are undefeated right now, but they get the top spot in the WMNSS for their efforts.

The best thing about the College Football Playoff is that it finally has coaxed all BcS teams to schedule up.  I'm sure every one of those teams now regularly schedules at least one non-conference Game against a fellow BcS squad, and that results in a smorgasbord of matchups you haven't seen in a long time, if ever.  That happens for the U. next Week as they travel to Chapel Hill and play North Carolina.  I remember that the Gophs were scheduled to play the Tar Heels some time ago, but Minnesota paid UNC to get out of the arrangement.  I want to say it was under Jerry Kill, but it could have happened in Fleck's first Year.  At any rate, this Game is going down, and I approve more of these.

#-2: Twins (Last Week: -4).  A 4-2 screening Week; the only two Losses were the two getaway Games vs. Texas and Cleveland.  Winning the series at the Guardians mid-Week matters a lot.  That helps the Twins stretch their lead in the A. L. Central over Cleveland to seven Games.  Their Magic Number is in the low teens.

This Week they finish up their home series with the New York Mets, then host Tampa for three starting tomorrow/Monday, then travel to Comiskey for a four-Game set beginning Thursday.

#-3: Gopher soccer (Last Week: -3).  Crushed St. Thomas at Robbie Stadium 5-0 Sunday; Senior Midfielder and Edina native Sophia Boman scored a natural Hat Truck (three Goals in a row).  They then went to Omaha and fought Creighton to a scoreless Draw Friday.

That is it for non-conference play.  The side is off until Friday, where they begin Big Ten action at Michigan.

#-4: United FC (Last Week: -2).  Don't know if you can call this escape great, but if I were at Allianz Field last/Saturday night and saw this (I wasn't because I was watching my alma mater's football tilt on TV), I would've started singing "Wonderwall" because this Goal would've felt like a Game-winning one:

I caught some of the contest on the radio on my way to my Game-watching college football event, and it felt as though once New England scored (in the 38th Minute), they sought to park the bus and win the Match, 1-0.  They almost did.  But that Corner Kick coming at the death, which coaxed Dayne St. Clair into the opposing box because what is he defending, somehow fell at St. Clair's feet, and he rifled it to Franco Fragapane who crossed a worm-burner that salvaged a 1-all Tie and a Point.  Gotta say: I think there were loftier expectations for Fragapane, but otherwise he has been a steady presence who has done what he has been asked to do ever since he was placed on the bench to start Matches.

(This Match, however, probably has been overshadowed by news coming from the Revolution afterward.  Legendary Head Coach Bruce Arena announced he was resigning as leader of the Revs amid an investigation by Major League Soccer into him saying things that were insensitive.  Interesting way to go out.)

As of press time, the Loons remain in seventh.  Next up is a home date versus Kansas City Saturday.

#-5: Lynx (Last Week: -5).  Beat Phoenix, who probably will end up with The Worst Record In The WNBA, by 13 last Sunday, but Friday's 92-87 defeat at Chicago -- which sewed up the final playoff spot for the Sky -- also sewed up fifth place for the Lynx, and so their First Round series, a best-of-three, will be against The Bastard Detroit Shock where they will not have home-court advantage.  All in all, I didn't think they would finish fifth, but as I have said many, many times, if there was ever a year to tank, this was it.  In fact, there is a possibility that the Lynx will have a Draft pick just outside the huge crop of elite players that may turn pro next Year.  It's a bad omen that has plagued the Timberwolves in their lifetimes, having the "n"th pick in an "n-1"-man Draft.

They finish at Indiana (who is also eliminated from postseason play but has markedly improved from having The Worst Record In The League last Year) this/Sunday afternoon.  The series begins mid-Week.

#-6: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -6).  In as busy a Week as any volleyball club could have, the U. sandwiched a gritty five-Set Win over Oregon in their first Match in their part of the Big Ten/Pac-12 Challenge (held in Palo Alto, Calif.) between a sweep at Florida Sunday and a four-Set Loss to host Stanford last/Saturday night.  I could say I am disappointed (even though this squad, to its credit, has so far played a very challenging schedule), but I have to remember Minnesota has a new Head Coach, so by my rule I have to give this squad a mulligan on the season.  I also then remembered that I have somewhat given up on the program already, so who cares.

They finish up the non-conference portion of their schedule next weekend with their annual Diet Coke Classic, once again slimmed down to just three teams.  They play High Point (High Point?  What a comedown for this tournament's glorious past) Thursday and currently 16th-ranked Creighton Saturday.  I hope to attend the middle Game of the tourney, the one between the Panthers and the Bluejays, Friday evening.