Sunday, December 3, 2023

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

Positive Numbers: Timberwolves (Last Week: -3).  This team went 4-0 over the past Week.  I don't remember the last time The fucking Minnesota Timberwolves have done that.  I don't remember if they have ever done that.  And so for all those reasons, as well as a couple more I will outline below, they totally take the top spot for the Week.

Of their four Wins this past screening Week, two stand out.  I was at Tuesday's In-Season Tournament Game vs. The Bastard Seattle SuperSonics, and hate that I have to admit it, but those fuckers can play.  But so can the Timberwolves.  Rudy Gobert has finally rounded into the paint Minotaur Tim Connelly envisioned he would be when he mortgaged the franchise's future to get him from Utah.  And even though Anthony Edwards left the Game after falling hard on his hip on a spectacular dunk attempt (he hasn't played since), the rest of the team buckled down and came back from an eight-Point Halftime deficit to win, 106-103.  There has been some questions regarding this team's bench, but on this night, Troy Brown, Jr., of all people, kept the fire burning after Ant lit up Oklahoma City in the beginning of the Second Half.  Brown's And-1 effectively sealed the Game, even though The Bastard Sonics had a chance to tie it at the end.  When role players are able to step up at home, you have a good, and potentially a very good, team.

The other Win is yesterday/Saturday evening's 123-117 victory at Charlotte.  Against a rebuilding team on the road, coming off a scintillating run of victories that include Memphis and Utah, you see good and even very good teams mail it in and take the Loss.  Not these Timberwolves.  They pulled out the six-Point Win behind a 26-Point, 12-Rebound night from Gobert, 28 Points from Karl-Anthony Towns, 14 Points and ten Assists from Mike Conley, Jr. (him coming in to orchestrate the Offense may be overlooked in this franchise's makeover), and a 23-Point performance coming off the bench from Naz Reid.  There is something different, something special, about this team, and I believe.  I know I definitely want to after season after season of ineptitude.

There is a statistic I saw on Twitter that grows even more staggeringly awesome the more I think about it.  I believe that the Timberwolves have racked up their 14th Day as The Team With The Best Record In The Western Conference.  Before this season, the organization spent ten Days atop The Western Conference total.  These are not your older siblings' Timberwolves club, thank Buddha.

This Week was set aside to hastily cobble together Games for teams that didn't make the In-Season Tournament Knock-Out Round.  That includes the Wolves, even though they finished 3-1.  (They lost the Pool to The Bastard Rochester Royals/Kansas City-Omaha Kings because they beat Minnesota at Target Center on the 24th, and they lost out on the Western Conference Wild Card to Phoenix based on Point Difference.)  They host San Antonio and Victor Wembanyama Wednesday (in a Game for which I scored tickts) and visit The Bastard Vancouver Grizzlies Friday that begins a three-Game road trip.

#0: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -4).  A very busy Week for the female Gopher hard-courters -- three Games ... and three Wins, over Stony Brook, Norfolk St. and Drake.  I believe these three opponents are of a greater caliber below the Golden Gophers than the foes the Timberwolves defeated, and that (plus the fact that the T-Wolves haven't been this dangerous, like, ever) is why this club takes the second spot (even though they nose above negative numbers).  Also, that Win over the Bulldogs on Saturday came after two Overtime periods; they beat Drake 94-88.

Maybe a better team would not need to go to Double OT to defeat Drake.  But we will soon find out how good this program is.  On Wednesday, they finally leave Williams Arena and play a road Game for the first time all season, at Lexington, Ky., against Kentucky Wednesday.

#-1: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: -1).  Just manhandled Bemidji St. at Ridder Arena by scores of 9-2 and 9-1.  But a truer test comes calling this screening Week, both in terms of quantity (three tilts!) and quantity (after visiting St. Cloud on a rare Tuesday matchup, they host defending champ Wisconsin for a two-Game series Friday and Saturday).

#-2: Gopher wrestling (Re-Entry!).  Defeated South Dakota St. at Maturi last Sunday afternoon, 19-13.  And that's all I really have interest in typing about this club -- well, also that their next Dual is at home to North Dakota St. on the 10th.

#-3: Wild (Last Week: -8).  Sunday's 4-1 Loss at lowly Detroit appeared to be the last straw for General Manager Bill Guerin.  He did what many people didn't expect he would do and fired Head Coach Dean Evason.  I truly think Guerin wanted to wait out the season (at the very least), but Owner Craig Leipold told Guerin to shitcan Evason.  If so, rack up yet another instance of owner-meddling.  I think he had an outsized influence in getting then-GM Chuck Fletcher to sign Zach Parise and Ryan Suter, and now this.  He has stated in the past his belief that his franchise should always be in "win-now" mode, and that absolutely stinks, especially when the squad is struggling to make moves because they have around $15 million less in cap space this and next Year.  With all those handicaps, Leipold and Guerin decided to sacrifce Evason.  Guerin was at least honest when he talked about the move: "You can't fire 25 guys."

So he brings in someone he knows from his early GM days: John Hynes, who was fired from Nashville back in May.  And actually, the coaching change has apparently lit a fire under the team: They beat St. Louis at home Tuesday, 3-1, then blasted the Predators in Nashville Thursday, 6-1.  Whether or not this is basically a "dead cat bounce" remains to be seen.

This Week: Hosting Chicago this/Sunday afternoon, then off to the Pacific Northwest for a four-Game road trip, with stops this screening Week in Calgary, Vancouver and Edmonton.

#-4: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -6).  Split a two-fer at Penn St. over the weekend.  This squad is good, but championship good?  I don't think so.  Two contests at Ohio St. this upcoming weekend.

#-5: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -2).  I don't know how good San Francisco is supposed to be, but appears as though the Dons had very little trouble dispatching the Goofers in San Fran, dispatching them by 18 last Sunday night.  Sure, the U. bounced back by defeating (The University Of) New Orleans by 33 Thursday.  But Big Ten play starts this/Sunday evening in Columbus against Ohio St., then continues Wednesday vs. Nebraska at The Barn.  I'm afraid that the outcomes from those contests will more closely resemble the defeat to San Francisco than the victory over The Privateers.  Oh, they revert back to non-con play Saturday when they host Florida-Gulf Coast.

#-6: Vikings (Last Week: -7).  How in the hell did they lost to The Chicago Bears at home on Monday Night Football when the Bears didn't score a Touchdown is a damn puzzle.  But that Loss basically burned away all the cushion they got from their other MNF appearance this season, a surprise Win over San Francisco (also at Das Bank v.2.0), and their chances of making the postseason now seem very slippery.

There should be more scrutiny regarding the turnaround from the Defense.  After three Years of middling-to-poor results, the first two costing Mike Zimmer the head coaching job and the third ending The Wildest Viking Season Ever in humiliating fashion, new Defensive Coordinator Brian Flores has implemented a crazy, blitz-heavy-or-drop-everybody defensive scheme that has confused opposing Offensive Coordinators.  Read this piece from Kevin Seifert of ESPN.com for all the details.  But like with the Timberwolves, you know you have a good team when you see unheralded players step up and become stars, people like Josh Metellus and Rookie Mekhi Blackmon.

Unfortunately, the Offense, the area of expertise for Vikings Head Coach Kevin O'Connell, has taken a few steps back lately.  The Loss on Monday should squarely be set at the feet of that side of the ball and, if you want a scapegoat, it should be (unfortunately) on Quarterback Josh Dobbs, who was responsible for four Interceptions (even though I think at least a couple of them aren't completely his fault.)  The bloom of the "Passtronaut" (I wanted to call him "Rocket Man" because it sounds cooler) has completely fallen off the rose, even though Dobbs hasn't played real well since the end of the First Half versus New Orleans.  That's what you get when you latch onto memes of an out-of-nowhere feel-good story: The story turns bad and you hope that dude disappears back into nowhere.

O'Connell is taking the bye Week to assess whether Dobbs is the Quarterback going forward; Jaren Hall, the team's back-up QB coming into this season, is back from concussion protocol.  Nick Mullens is also available.  Which of them is under Center when they visit The Bastard Oakland-by-way-of-Los Angeles Raiders in Las Vegas on the 10th?

#-Infinity: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -5).  Well, they did make the NCAA Tournament, and even though they were an unseeded squad this time around, they not only upset regional 6-Seed Utah St. (is this the first Year the NCAA seeds teams 1-8 in each of the four Regionals?), but swept the Aggies Friday, 17-14-23.  Unfortunately, they then faced Regional 3-Seed and host Creighton last/Saturday night and got swept themselves, 21-20-27.

I repeat my mantra that since this is the first Year of a new Head Coach, throw this away.  Still, it's jarring to see this perpetually underachieving program (IMHO) with a fervent fan base they don't deserve bow out in the Second Round of the tourney.  Moreover, according to fans who follow and chat about the club, the jury's out on whether the team's two main Outside Hitters, Mckenna Wucherer and Taylor Landfair, will stay or hit the Transfer Portal.  While this obviously was a season in transition -- they finished the Year 17-13 -- fans noticed that there wasn't a whole lot of chemistry with this particular edition.  There might be further disruption if players leave or come in via transfer.  Where the program goes from here in reaction to this reset season is the main task Head Coach Keegan Cook has to navigate in order for Minnesota to become a bona fide contender again.

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