A reminder that since this is the last Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey for 2023, we will reset the day of the week these come out for 2024. It is the day of the week January 8, 2024 falls under, and that means that all WMNSSs for next year will be published (unless I'm busy, or I forget) on Mondays. And now I'm thinking how that'll impact me trying to start my workweek. This time last year I was thinking about how I would spit these out on Sundays when I'm working Vikings Games. I'm trading one bad situation for another, but maybe Mondays are worse. Anyway, I am now musing aloud. Herewith, The Final Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey for 2023:
#0: Timberwolves (Last Week: -3). Lost at The Bastard Seattle SuperSonics by 23, and there's no shame in that, they're a good squad. They then came home and beat Dallas and, in an extremely tight one, The Bastard Minneapolis Lakers. Defeating Lebron James & Co. was important: James made a deep jumper late that would have tied it at 107 except it was ruled his foot was on the line; they beat The Team That Was Stolen From Us v.1.0 on a Saturday when the Wild and the Gopher women's basketball team lost, saving the Twin Cities from another #MinnesotaIsLoservilleUSA result (not to mention both of my alma mater's basketball teams lost last/Saturday night as well); and this Win means The Minnesota Timberwolves finish calendar Year 2023 as The Best Team In The Western Conference (and the second-best team in the NBA behind Boston). I think it's fair to be scared of what misfortune may befall this club, but this season has given ample reason for a beleaguered fanbase to finally hope that this franchise will finally see better and more successful days.
Looks like they'll be close to Times Square as the ball drops; they face New York at Madison Square Garden New Year's Afternoon. They then host The Bastard Charlotte Hornets before embarking on a four-Game road trip starting with a Texas two-step of Houston and Dallas.
#-1: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -2). Finished their non-con with an 18-Point Win over Maine at The Barn. Finished that portion of their schedule with a 9-2 record, which is a hell of a lot better than the 7-5 non-con record they had last Year. But there are no bodybag Games from here on out -- it is league play from now until the end of the season, with a road date with Michigan Thursday and Maryland at Williams next Sunday. I hope for improved play from this program for 2024, but I'm still not sure.
Well, turns out everybody got theirs; Clark went off for 35 (on 13-for-22 shooting where she made half of her 16 Three-Point Attempts) in a 94-71 rout. This squad continues to live or die -- well, in this case die -- by the three: 3-for-19, egad. In nearly all statistics Iowa had sizable advantages: Rebounds (43-32), Assists (23-14), Shooting Percentage (58.3-39.4), Fast Break Points (17-4), Bench Points (25-12), you name it. So maybe Iowa has proven themselves to be a very, very good group. And maybe I should slow my roll as to how much of a breakout surprise the U. will be.
The challenges don't stop as Maryland comes to town Wednesday.
#-3: Wild (Last Week: -4). Doubled up Detroit at home Wednesday, but got doubled up in Winnipeg yesterday/Saturday afternoon. Kirill Kaprizov has finally picked it up and Matt Boldy and Marco Rossi seem to be settling in and contributing. But the climb to get back into playoff contention appears to be a greater obstacle now that The Bastard Winnipeg Jets (and are they moving out of Phoenix or what?) are four Points ahead of Minnesota for the final postseason birth when they were only two this time last survey. By the way, even though this may be more causal than correlative, replacing Dean Evason with John Hynes has proven to have sparked this squad.
They finish the home-and-home with The Bastard Atlanta Thrashers this/Sunday afternoon. They then host The Bastard Atlanta Flames and Tampa before visiting Columbus. All of these four tilts will occur on alternating days.
#-4: Vikings (Re-Entry!). The Vikes' playoff chances took a massive, massive hit last Sunday when they couldn't close the deal yet again, this time at home to Detroit. In a story told too many times this season, it looked like the team would have been able to pull out a victory if not for the play of the Quarterback. This time it was Nick Mullens being responsible for a lot of the Loss; it was his four Interceptions that largely did Minnesota in, especially the last one, late in the Game as the Vikings were driving for a go-ahead Touchdown. Brandon Powell evidently was open, but Mullens threw to Justin Jefferson in the End Zone in triple coverage. Mullens has had a propensity in his short, journeyman career as an NFL QB to throw picks, but remember that he threw to Jefferson in double coverage on Fourth Down and JJ went up and fuckin' got it, so Mullens thought he was God and could catch anything no matter how many Lions were stuck to him.
Note that we are all pining for Kirk Cousins right now. A man who has shown time and time again he has difficulty when it's on him to win contests is now the savior Vikings fans pine for but know they can't get because he's out for the Year. Some of us were ready to move on from him, but because of what has transpired this season, we're all ready for the franchise to re-up with him. Meanwhile, Head Coach Kevin O'Connell has decided to bench Mullens and go back to Rookie and anointed back-up Jaren Hall to start tonight/Sunday night against Green Bay at U. S. Bank Stadium in what I think is a de facto eliminator. The Packers will be without their two best Cornerbacks -- one is on Injured Reserve, the other is suspended for this Game for conduct detrimental to the team -- and yet I still think Hall will have to outscore The Cheeseheads to win. This could be the final nail in the coffin for this team.
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