Maybe my procrastination in cracking open the magazine, let alone reviewing it her on WAF, stems from its progressiveness towards inclusion in its photo shoots. I consider myself to be a progressive guy, but seeing more big-boned women in the issue over the years has been a massive turn-off (which probably means that I'm not that progressive of a guy). The, uh, change in the SI Swimsuit Issue mirrors the downfall of the actual magazine itself, from being a treasure trove of soon-to-be-classic pieces of deep and insightful longform journalism into employing Artificial Intelligence to write up articles and to come up with images of "writers" who authored those articles. In different ways both the weekly and the annual issues have become desiccated husks of what they proudly once were. Honestly, I think I am buying the issue every year out of habit.
But then comes something as daring as fuck as Kelly Crump exposing her left breast with no nipple and a mastectomy scar on page 137, and like I said, I beat off to it just fine. There are scant ways these days for Sports Illustrated to push the envelope, and while Crump's survivor story fits into the inclusion bent of the magazine, it happily serves a double purpose of being exceedingly kinky.
I should be grateful, but (and I have to admit I haven't done a real deep dive into the mag), I think this is another year where there aren't a whole lot of banger pics in it. The more pages devoted to celebrities, the less I like it. I mean, Ciara looks great, but that doesn't mean I want to see Mrs. Russell Wilson in beachwear (although I will recognize the getup she's wearing on p. 57, where she's wearing a denim two-piece ... and that's top as well as bottom). And I don't need to see Elon Musk's mom in this issue because she birthed a bigot. Finally, I bought the edition with Kim Kardashian on the cover; why there isn't a shot of her with her ass hanging out, I don't know.
I'm glad there are still veterans looking good and getting it done -- Kate Bock (who I think has been "forced to retire" because the edition gave her a retrospective celebrating ten years modeling for the Swimsuit Issue), Camille Kostek, and Hailey Clauson (welcome back, Hailey!). And there are thin, model-looking models that are being introduced into the pages -- Katie Austin (fellow alum), Olivia Ponton (she's bisexual!), Christen Harper, Georgina Burke, Cindy Kimberly. If they continue feeding us red-blooded heterosexual males hot-looking women, maybe this isn't a lost cause after all.
When it comes to particular photographs, I am reduced to seeing which models do show off their asses -- Tanaye White does it with a Cheshire Cat grin on page 122, Kimberly displays her sensual one on p. 130, and WNBA player DiDi Richards flashes ass (with kiss tattoo) on page 98. There are some other beautiful photos, to be fair -- Natalia Mariduena looks borderline regal sitting in water on page 48; Josephine Skriver is lounging on bales of hay and twirling her hair while sporting a yellow two-piece bikini on p. 74; Lorena Duran is wearing a shirt collar thing that looks as though she's flashing her green bikini top on p. 78; and Brooks Nader looks spectacular with the sun making her hair glow on page 84. You know, the more I look through this, the more I am warming to this (well, last) year's Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue.
Unfortunately, I have bought and have had the good sense to at least speed-read (or -see) the 2023 issue. Kelly Crump appeared in the 2022 SI swimsuit edition's "Swim Search" because she was trying to appear as a "Rookie" in the 2023 edition. She doesn't show up. No more nipple-less boob shots to jerk off to, I'm afraid.
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