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The car is working just fine. Still paranoid, though. Apparently I haven't treated it well, and so the car is no longer optimal. I just hate feeling as though whenever I drive to a place for pleasure, I am hurting my car, and so my car, or God, will punish me for just trying to live. But I am driving my car slower and easier -- at least for now.
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It's not winter. It's been raining since, I think, yesterday/Sunday. Doesn't matter to me because I'm not going out today. Just eating the stuff my parents froze for me, making myself some drinks, washing clothes and going through my parents' financial affairs. Maybe I could just stay in my bed and do nothing, but I should take time today to do some stuff. I work tomorrow, and honestly, I'm bummed about it. I want to be one of those people who have that limbo week between Christmas and New Year's off. But I'm not, and so I feel like if I need to work tomorrow, I should get back into the swing of things and "work" today.
I feel bummed that, I think more this year than many other years, Christmas seems "over" now, as I type this. This is solidly in the afternoon, and there's nowhere I have to be, and I am enjoying myself (even though preparing for tomorrow isn't fun at all). But once I was preparing for bed last night, all the Christmas music I was enjoying leading up to today (and by the way, I think this Christmas season [and I define that as from Black Friday until Christmas] has been as long as I expected -- not too long, not too short) feels stale. It never made sense to me to listen to that music on December 26, but it feels weird to me to listen to it now. Maybe it's because it doesn't look like winter outside. Or, maybe I'm distracted; I worked the Vikings Game yesterday/Sunday, and there was and is football and basketball to watch and listen to yesterday and today.
Or, maybe I'm sad. I love anticipating great days because they are coming; you're just waiting for it to get here. But once it is here, you know it's going to be gone at some point. That always depresses me. Something can't go away if it doesn't get here. It can't die. And so, as much as I am content right now, Christmas Day is, well, dying in front of my eyes. And if it is, maybe I just want to get it over with -- you know, save myself arduously enduring its death so I can get on with my life, even if it is getting back to, ick, work.
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Happy Holidays/Merry Christmas, everyone.
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