#-1: Twins (Last Week: -2). Another week where both teams playing this time of year were mediocre during the screening weeks and thus indistinguishable from one another.
I put the Twinks first for two reasons. One, I just felt like flipping the two teams from last week's WMNSS. Two, I'm going on last tastes in my mouth, and unlike the Goons below, and despite the Twinks getting swept by a suddenly frisky Bastard Seattle Pilots ballclub in Milwaukee in three games mid-week, they came home and came back (so to speak) to sweep a four-game series from the not-frisky-at-all Bastard St. Louis Browns ballclub.
Let's not get your hopes up; this team is still under .500, this team still probably can't catch Cleveland or any of the four good teams in the American League in this season of extremes (there might be five clubs in MLB that reach 100 wins and 15 that reach 90 losses), and this team still has many, many problems. With the Trading Deadline at the end of the month I think the organization can see the writing on the wall, this weekend notwithstanding. That's why you'll probably see Brian Dozier moved, even if he is having a pedestrian season.
That's also why you're seeing prospects with even a shot of contributing on the major-league level being called up. Which brings me to the story of Jake Cave, one of those guys who always make the most of their chance in The Big Show and, through hustle and luck (but also good play) goes from an absolute nobody to someone who steals the hearts of baseball fans in the community. With Byron Buxton still hurt and lost at the plate and busted down to the minors, Cave, who was called back up has been installed in the outfield since June 26 (and in Center Field since June 27), has responded by batting .364 and slashing .391/.636/1.028 for the month of July. And he's made a couple of nifty catches patrolling CF, too. (He replaced Buxton replacement Ryan LaMarre. Gleeman and the Geek says that time has run out on LaMarre and the franchise was right to quickly pass him over for Cave to figure out what they've got in him in this lost season. I thought LaMarre is a prospect, and then I discover that he's 29 years old. Sorry, Ryan.)
Meanwhile, congratulations to Jose Berrios on being named as the Twins rep to this year's All-Star Game. Eddie Rosario was named one of the five players for the American League "Last Vote" competition, but a Yankee (Giancarlo Stanton) is also a finalist, so he's going to lose that one. Well, I'm sure there will be a slew of ASG'ers who can't play because they're "hurt," and so Rosario will be named an injury replacement. That's the nature of MLB ASGs; there will be, like, 70 players who either will play in the game or be called All-Stars because they were selected. I won't be surprised if Rosario makes it, and I won't care if he doesn't make it.
Oh, in the meantime the squad will ride out the first half of the season at Target Field. I didn't notice this: The three teams they will host for this long homestand all suck. It was Baltimore over the weekend; they will now oppose Kansas City for three games and then Tampa for four. Again, it's too late for the postseason. But can they run the table and go 11-0 on this homestand?
#-2: United FC (Last Week: -1). OK, first off, I thought there would be more of an atmosphere when I decided to take in a watch party at Brit's. But I guess it was a party only if I decided to stay outside and sit on the lawn to watch the match there. I couldn't eat food on there and I didn't want to take up a table, and besides, it was busy, so I went to sit in the bar, where they had the match on but did not turn up the sound. On top of all that, even though the MNUFC Twitter handle said that there was a party at Brit's, in an article on their website they said that there was a party at the Dubliner. So Jesus, what gives? Are there two? Is there a right one and wrong one? Are there really none?
I will talk about another website: FiftyFive.One, in particular Alex Schieferdecker's excellent and doleful look into the near future of this doomed, rudderless side in the wake of their non-competitive 3-0 loss at Houston Saturday night. I've been giving this entire operation the benefit of the doubt despite embarrassing losses to doormats such as San Jose and Colorado. But Schieferdecker ain't taking any shit after that loss to the Dynamo. He's wondering why in the hell Wyatt Omsberg didn't start, especially when Francisco Calvo had to sit out the match because of too many Yellow Cards. He also wonders why the Midfield is so old. In fact, the entire team is old, which is not something you want to see out of a team in its second year in Major League Soccer. So Schieferdecker calls out Adrian Heath for his refusal to change or to hold players accountable, and after reading this article, I'm beginning to lose my benefit of the doubt for him. He also calls out Bill McGuire for being so cheap, and even though I will defer to him for deferring major upgrades to personnel until Allianz Field comes online next year, you know, he's got a point with him, too. (It's essays like these that make me glad I'm a Patreon of FiftyFive.One. You should be, too.)
So fans are all depressed and pissed, and this despite the Loons snapping a three-game losing streak Independence Night by beating Toronto FC. I haven't even gotten to Darwin Quintero registering the team's first top-flight Hat Trick in its history -- that's how all-encompassing Saturday's loss was, even though they showed there are still major deficiencies in their defense by the 4-3 scoreline. And hell, I haven't even gotten to the fact that Calvo has been named MNUFC's first-ever Major League Soccer All-Star a week and a half ago. See, that's because I can't help but think how terrible they played Saturday. Well, I forgot the news when it came out; I should have talked about this in last week's survey. Anyway, congratulations to him. It's weird that a guy fans have been having a love-hate relationship with has now been named an All-Star. And with the way the Backline spit the bit vs. the Dynamo, maybe he deserves the accolade.
They host Calvo's old Costa Rican team, Saprissa, Wednesday in a friendly. They then host Real Salt Lake Saturday. God, I hope they play decent in this game. Money doesn't grow on tress, boys.
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