OK, so the big party in the alumni chapter's calendar is this afternoon. And, well, everything is set. I just sent an e-mail to everyone who's coming, telling them what's up. The weather may or may not cooperate, but if it is raining or if it's too hot, we can just go inside. There may be three dozen people -- good, not the biggest, but not the worst, either.
I went over to the host's house on Wednesday. It's always a pain in the ass to find someone to do it every year. There is always some scramble that begins, oh, in the fall before these parties. In the nine or so years I've been a part of this club, we have always managed to go from place to place, from couple to couple. We have never repeated a house. I think that's a rarity; in fact we may be the only affiliate who does this. And there may be a good reason no one else does this.
So why do I do it? Well, this started before me, so a precedent was set. Nevertheless, when I became leader, I felt this need that I had to find a different couple every year. I know that other chapters have a dedicated person to do it, and that makes things easy. But the paranoid side of me is afraid that such an arrangement would lead to a complacency, and if (or maybe when) the time comes where the family that always hosts can't do it or decides not to do it, well ... I think I would fill up with such anger and, well, betrayal that 1) I would never forgive the hosts and 2) I would be freaking out to find another couple who would do it. In other words, finding one family to host it every year lulls me into a false sense of permanence that would ruin me if that sense were to be taken away from me. To prevent that, I just say that we're moving this party around every year. Better to jump than to be pushed, if that makes any sense.
Nonetheless, like I said, finding new people every year, while making me feel sharp (OK, that sounds dubious), is a chore. And that's why I felt such an ... oh, an equanimity when speaking with the mother of the house. For one thing, they too are alums. For another, they have a great house. Moreover, they live in one of the richest zip codes in the Twin Cities. She says they love to throw parties. And she says that we're all set when it comes to refreshments, decorations, cake, and preparations. I usually come over the day before to set up and ask questions. After this visit on Wednesday, I plan on showing up an hour before the party starts, and, if I get her messages right, I don't need to do much of anything. And finally, I don't have to pay for the food, either.
See, the more I think about it, the more I think that my first party of this type when I became president scarred me for life. I may not have taken this a seriously as I should have. But comparing my experience dealing with those hosts and the four host afterward has been like darkest night and brightest day. The last three hosts have been easygoing, cooperative, fun to talk to, engaging, and non-judgmental. And yet I have compared those three hosts to the overbearing first one. That's extremely unfair, and yet I can't help but color my expectations for this party against that.
This time around is excellent, even better than the previous three, when it comes to preparation. Nothing to worry about? Perfect! Well, actually not. Having nothing to worry about is something to worry about. Or is it? I want to think that everything is going to go smoothly. And in fact, I have not had such little anxiety over an event ever. (I always have anxiety over everything, so take that for what you will.) But if everything is all set, and nothing that is not set is beyond my control, why worry? And to be honest, I don't think I have anything to worry about. And it is for that reason that I wonder if my wandering with this event should stop. Maybe I should just ask these guys to host forever, so I can stop running and searching.
Well, we'll see. The party hasn't even happened yet. I'm sure it'll go off fine, with nothing untoward, but we should just wait until it happens to assess. And even if it is a success I'll probably ask another family to carry the baton forward. Maybe this is stress I just expect to have.
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