The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#0: Timberwolves (Last Week: -2).  Well, well, well, look who is at the top of this Week's Weekly Minnesota Sport Survey -- and legitimately so, for actually winning and not some weird off-court stuff?  With a home-and-home sweep (and a 3-0 season sweep) of The Bastard New Orleans Jazz followed by victories over Houston and Golden State, the Timberwolves are riding their first four-Game winning streak (though I should note that they hadn't even won more than two Games before this Week).

Yes, it's useless and maybe even more infuriating to finally beginning to play well so soon after being officially eliminated from the playoffs.  After all, they have to give their First Round draft pick to Golden State if it falls fourth or below (more of my thoughts on that another time).  But with the end of the season in sight, there are a lot of other teams that actually came into this season harboring postseason dreams that have seen them get crushed, and they may be mailing it in more than the Wolves are.  Plus, it is refreshing to finally see this goddamned team play well together.  Finally, in very, very recent history, there have been at least a few days where several Twin Cities teams all played and all lost ... save for the Timberwolves.  You don't see the T-Wolves save local sports fans from existential misery that often.  So no, they're record proves they're still a bad club, but let's throw this dog a bone and give them both the top spot and and a non-negative number.

It's a very light screening Week.  They finish a three-Game homestand with contests vs. New Orleans and Memphis.

#-1: Wild (Last Week: 0).  Well, the good news is that the Wild clinched a playoff birth Saturday with a resounding 6-3 win in San Jose.  That also extended their winning streak to nine Games.  Unfortunately, that streak and the ensuing momentum has been squandered with a back-to-back sweep at Xcel at the hands of St. Louis, a club that is scuffling behind Minnesota in the West but somehow have the Wild's number this year.  Wednesday streak-snapping defeat was particularly awful; they blew a two-Goal lead and allowed the Game-winning Goal with less than a Minute left in regulation.  Those surprise losses have prevented Minnesota from going past Colorado for second place in the West.  (The way they're listing now, there's no way they're going to catch Las Vegas for first.)  Even with limited fans, getting home-ice for a potential Game 7 is important.

The Wild finish off the final homestand of the year, with a third and final matchup with the Blues, followed by a pair with the Golden Knights and the first of two tilts vs. Anaheim.

#-2: Vikings (Re-Entry!).  A quick recognition for the Vikings after the First Round of the NFL Draft last/Thursday night.  And this may have been the moment Vikes General Manager made Skol Nation notice that he has earned the name "Slick Rick."

More than a few writers predicted the Purple would pick USC Offensive Lineman Alijah Vera-Tucker with the 14th pick.  But, as he often does, Spielman traded down, giving that 14th pick to the Jets, who in turn selected Vera-Tucker.  He got two Third-Round picks for that move, thereby making Vikes fans livid that once again Spielman is trying to trade down in order to grab every single selection in, like, the Sixth Round.

However, with the 23rd pick, the Vikings drafted Christian Darrishaw, an Offensive Tackle out of Virginia Tech.  I would say most fans now know who both Rookies are.  It seems as though Vera-Tucker is better than Darrisaw, the gap between them is not big at all.  Therefore, sliding down from 14th to 23rd, picking up two Third-Rounders in this Year's draft, and getting a guy who might be a mere step below from the person you could have had nine spots earlier?  That's a win, at least at the drafting board, and even his haters have to begrudgingly accept that Spielman generated incredible value last night.  Now, whether Darrisaw can play -- well, that's a worry for another Day.

#-3: Gopher softball (Last Week: -1).  Took three-of-four at Cowles against Iowa.  The only bracketology for college softball I'm aware of comes courtesy of Hayden King of College Sports Madness; the projection, which I think is from the 19th, places Minnesota not as a host but traveling to a Regional hosted by Washington.

Some big shit came down on Tuesday.  The Gophers' upcoming series at Wisconsin has been postponed because COVID-19 is ripping through the Badger program.  Assuming there aren't Herculean efforts to reschedule either this series or plan any Games with other opponents, this ballclub next plays against Michigan the following weekend at home.

#-4: Twins (Last Week: -5).  Is it time to panic?  The Week was bookended with wins over Pittsburgh and Cleveland, but they looked as fat- and anxiety-inducing as the middle of an Oreo for those defeats inbetween.  The only thing consistent right now is underachievement from all departments -- defense, offense, bullpen, and now Starting Pitching has gone to shit.

The only saving grace I have that prevents me from completely burying this ballclub is the fact that a few players are on the Injured List and that baseball seasons are marathons, not springs.  I can believe that a team with so much talent on paper may only be going through rough patches because their best players are hurt.  Once they come back, they and the team should play as well as they are projected to play.  And so there's plenty of time to turn this thing around.  But goddamn, they look horrible right now.

This Week the Twinks have a homestand that comprises the whole of the screening Week, no more and no less!  Three with Kansas City (and with the Royals off to a good start, some are touting this as an important series for the Twins, even though this is occurring in early May) followed by four with The Bastard Washington Senators v.2.0.

#-5: United FC (Last Week: -3).  I don't think things are going to plan.  They opened up Allianz Field to fans for the first time in over a calendar Year Saturday night but lost to Real Salt Lake to start the season 0-2.  After the Match, RSL Goalkeeper David Ochoa booted the soccer ball into the stands of the Wonderwall.  There apparently is an unwritten rule in soccer where you don't do that, so many Loons came out to confront Ochoa, most notably Left Fullback Chase Gasper, whose fuck-up resulted in Salt Lake City's first Goal (and who may have done something similar for RSL's second).  I don't know much about that.  I do know that a lot of frustration could be eased if you actually win.  By the way, Major League Soccer announced early Thursday afternoon that Ochoa has been fined for that kick, and both Gasper and Hassani Dotson have been fined for trying to get all up in Ochoa's face.

MNUFC might have a chance to get into the Win column Saturday evening as they face the newest club in Major League Soccer, Austin FC.  This is a Game I would have wanted to go to for the novelty of seeing a brand-new team for the first time.  However, the pandemic made me let the opportunity pass me by.  Also, I'm getting my second shot in the afternoon, so I have no idea if I would be in any shape to watch a football Match in person that evening.

#-6: Gopher baseball (Last Week: -4).  OK, the depths of self-degradation to which this fucked-up squad are falling to is becoming impossible to ignore.  They got swept in Indiana over the weekend.  Their losing streak currently stands at ten.  They are 4-23 on the season.  And you cannot categorize any of the three defeats these Goofers suffered as close.  The last Game of the series, played Sunday (and two Days after the first two Games of the series, since for some weird damn reason there was a Doubleheader on Friday and a Day off on Saturday), was a loss by a score of, get this, 23-1.  The Hoosiers scored five Runs in the First Inning, eight in the Second, five in the Sixth and five in the Seventh.  Starting Pitcher Trent Schoberl (who goddamn right took the Loss) allowed three Earned Runs and only recorded two Outs before getting pulled.  Indiana Left Fielder and leadoff hitter Drew Ashley went up to bat twice in the First Inning ... and got hit both times.  My gawd.

Patrick Reusse of the Star Tribune offered up an explanation for this team's historic meltdown in a piece for the Star Tribune.  Because of the pandemic, the Big Ten Conference has relaxed rules this season when it comes to roster size and player participation.  But Golden Goofer Manager John Anderson could not take advantage of them because of rules by on high.  Recruiting players through the transfer portal and trying to entice them with slivers of scholarships cost money, and the U. doesn't have that money because, well, pandemic.  (For more evidence to this excuse see the hiring of Ben Johnson, who has never been a Head Coach at any school at any level but has been given the keys to the BcS school in his hometown.)  Or, instead of hurting for money, the university is worried about the perception of spending money in a pandemic, especially when the athletic department intends to shut down three men's programs once the school Year is over.  The result is a smaller, hollowed-out roster that has to go out and play schools that have bloated themselves with decent players searching from some playing time.  Reusse surmises that this is the result.

Who knows if it's true, or even tells a large part of the story.  This club still has a season to finish.  They're in Maryland for three.  Don't look if you want to see competent ball playing.  Or look if you gawk at car crashes.

They're On To Me

So Sunday was kind of a shitshow at work.  For the second time, I stayed longer than I should have.  A lot longer.  Like, six hours as opposed to four.  I think labor laws dictate that once you are working six hours, you are supposed to take a half-hour unpaid lunch.  Didn't do that, and I still think that is a mess that my bosses are going to have to clean up for me.

I was under the impression that I would have to stay late.  Shortly after I got there, I was told by one of the lab workers that the shipment of pee samples was late.  Therefore, I thought that I had to prepare to stay a bit late because the lab workers were going to be late shoveling out the forms to me, which means I will be late in keying and processing them before shoving those folders down the line and getting out of there.  Before my four hours were up, I shouted to the lab workers something to the effect of, "Hey, are you still going to be sending forms my way?"  And the two people there -- one of them whose face seems familiar to me, one who is new, neither of whom I remember working on Sundays because, as I found out yesterday, the person who was working at that position on Sundays left the company -- talked to each other a little bit before one of them said, "Yeah."  Just like I thought.

So I waited.  Well, I didn't wait.  There were other types of forms I had to work on, and so I did them (slowly -- this will be an important point later in the story) while keeping an eye out on forms that I would need to scan and do.  What I got, however, were empty folders.  They need to be done in a technical sense, but I was told on Sundays that if there were no forms in a folder, those folders could bypass data entry; they can be handed off from the techs in one department to the techs in another.  As I have learned, on Sundays these empty folders usually are the last ones to come out.  Also, I was told that if they are the only ones left to be done, I do not need to do them, even if they are passed to our area.  I can leave.  Actually, I think I had been told by my higher-ups that I should leave under those circumstances.

That wasn't the case here -- well, at least I was not led to believe that would be the case.  But as the minutes dragged on, I would see from across the hall an empty folder, and then several minutes later another empty, and so on.  Soon, I was bumping up to the magical threshold of six hours (plus I wanted to get the hell out of there), and the important work I thought I had to stick around for I was still waiting for.  So I go up to them and ask again, "Hey, are there more folders coming?"  And the two guys had a skull session before one of them said, "Nope.  All empties from here on out!"  That's great, but ... did you know that all you gave me the fifth and sixth hours I was there were empty folders?

---

I work for a company whose employees scrutinize work.  I like a company, and people, who are serious about it.  Then again, if the scrutiny is about my work, well, I don't like that

Monday morning my other boss e-mailed me while I was filing stuff away.  She wondered why I worked six hours on Sunday.  She's doing her job and checking my work, I understand.  So I explain why I stayed so late.  She appeared to, uh, not really care about that per se.  Instead, she gave me a screenshot of work I did not of the two extra hours I stayed, but the first two hours.  I told her what I was doing ... and that was the end of it.

Now to yesterday.  Well, let me back up ... these days, overtime usually is not given.  However, there have been several weeks so far this year where there has been extra work and so we have been given the opportunity to either stay late or come in early to work.  When that happens, there is no need to worry about technically working more than 40 hours.  However, when overtime for a week is not granted, the company is coming down hard on not working more than 40 hours.  I get, like, a three-minute cushion with which I can go over.  But if I'm at, like, 40.06 hours for a week, apparently my bosses catch hell for that, and that would certainly roll down onto me.

I have been banking on a sudden bubble of work to pulsate through the building this week.  The week's not over.  But if overtime were to be offered, it most likely would have been to either come in early yesterday or stay after yesterday.  That did not happen.  With a full day on Wednesday, that would thus mean that I can only work ten more hours (give or take) today and tomorrow.  My boss wasn't banking on that.  He assumed I would be working twelve hours these next two days.  (If I do a half-day on Sunday and I'm limited to 40 hours, that means I would have take another half-day Monday through Friday -- do you see what I mean?)  I could have waited till this afternoon for a Hail Mary of work to come through, thereby authorizing OT, but if it didn't come through, I would be working eight hours today and thus only a measly two hours Friday, and like I said, my boss isn't prepared for that ... especially if he didn't know I worked six on Sunday.

So I had to raise the issue with him.  Just before I left yesterday I had to let him know what happened on Sunday and that as a result, I was at ten hours left.  I am scheduled to fill in for someone in Filing Friday morning, then leave.  If I'm a sub, I don't think I can deviate from the four hours I'm committed to, which means I would be working only six today.  So I tossed out that suggestion, and he agreed.  And then he asked if I could speak with him about Sunday.  Great.

I had a meeting with him about the miscommunication and the ultimately unnecessary need to stay that late.  But that didn't really bother him at all; he just chalked it up to people not knowing how things are done on Sundays.  What really bothered him was, uh, my lack of production my first two hours, the same hours my other boss noted to me Monday morning.

Honestly, I wasn't dilly-dallying.  There are those other folders that I needed to go through and rub out all the mistakes.  In particular (and I won't bore you with the details), there are a subset of these forms that are fairly important to push down the conveyor belt.  That's not the main priority; those other forms are.  But frequently on Sundays, as you're waiting for those very important forms to pass through the window, you have these slightly-less important forms that are still important, and so you do those in order to fill in the rest of your day (which, again, for me, is supposed to be only four hours).  These particular folders are important because many of them have outright mistakes on the forms.  The name is illegible, or the code on the form doesn't match the one attached to the sample, etc.  There is a process by which you are supposed to look at the discrepancy and decide which errors you can overlook and which you have to keep for others to investigate.  These important folders are ones that have, like, 30 forms, most of which have a discrepancy.  So going through them takes time.  And I took my time to do it right, even though, like my boss intimated in our meeting, other people can do it faster.  And so he talked about how I could be more productive when it comes to that particular job, as well as being "visible" by keying in programs whose metrics can be looked at by supervisors like my bosses.

So that wasn't great.  What I thought was the biggest problem with what went down on Sunday was in fact an ancillary issue to my bosses, and the real problem according to them was something I didn't see coming at all.  But I'll confess something.  I wasn't half-assing it on Sunday, and I usually don't on Sundays.  But could I go faster going through these forms, and these folders?  Yeah.  I don't really want to.  Why?  Because it's Sunday and no one's there to pick over my work.  Sure, they pick over my work the next day, but not while I'm there that day, and I feel like that difference is real, not illusory.

And it doesn't really matter because this time next month another person will be working Sundays so I won't have to anymore.  The focus on speeding up my rate of production, however, will remain.  Yep.  They're on to me.

My Break Ritual

Ever since I began Working From Home for the test scoring place (consisting so far of two projects), I have noticed I need to do something at a specific time.  Our breaks for these projects has been 7:30.  It is spring, so the dusk is getting later and later.  However, regardless of how much sun is shining in through my otherwise closed blinds, by the time 7:30 rolls around, there is so little light streaming through my window that I have no choice but to use artificial light and turn on the neon light I have on the top of my desk.  I have yet to either turn it on earlier or not need to turn it on till later.  No; at 7:30, I have to turn on the light.

Sunset up here in Minnesota right now is a quarter past 8.  I should have enough light nowadays whereby I wouldn't have to turn on my light till later.  That I still do so around 7:30 is a testament to how dreary and cloudy and honestly kick-ass the weather has been.  The majority of the days so far in April have been cloudy, and I want to say that it has rained in more than half of the days so far this month, too.  With the sun setting on an already overcast sky, the light manages to seep into my bedroom for only so long before I need to use fake light, and the moment I need to switch still is around 7:30.

With that being said, the clouds are finally supposed to be gone -- possibly this afternoon, probably by Thursday.  So the sun should be shining down on us and through my window ... which would mean I won't have to turn the neon light on in order to read essays.  Too bad; for some reason, I like needing to turn on that light at break around 7:30.

OK, another update on my co-worker, given to me, unsolicited, at work yesterday from the co-worker who has been updating me on her status: She is getting better.  She may have been moved out of the ICU yesterday.  However, she was just extubated (as in they have taken the ventilator out of her mouth) recently, so that means that she was in fact intubated between the last time we received an update about her condition, which was about a week ago, and now.  Less than a week is a hell of a lot better than five weeks, the length of time my friend was hooked up to one in the late spring.  But he said that while he was unresponsive, he could feel the ventilator getting shoved down his throat, and he was subconsciously trying to get it out of his trachea because it was choking him, but he couldn't.  That's the main type of nightmare he still suffers from, to this day, when he's experiencing PTSD.

So my co-worker may be seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.  But she's been in intensive care for so long, people who have been hit with COVID-19 to the point where they wind up where she did become long-haulers.  And she is not a 100% healthy spring chicken, either.  The road to recovery probably is long.  We may not see her back at work for some time.  She may decide she doesn't want to come back.

But, goddammit, she's still alive.  And that's what matters.

Three Down, None (One? Naw, Probably None) To Go

It took about 36 hours, which I still don't think is good, but I got the results back from the COVID-19 test I took Saturday ... and it was negative.  Saturday marked 15 days since I was last in close contact with my co-worker who has since been stricken with the virus.  Those 15 days represent the scientific consensus outer limit at which I could possibly be infected by someone with the coronavirus.  Since I am negative, I did not get it from her.  Phew.

I am torn as to whether I should get a test just before I get my second jab this week.  If I should test even after I get my second shot, or even after I am fully vaccinated?  I'm putting that out of my mind right now, because I don't know what to think of it.

Now to hope my co-worker pulls through.  No word past the news about a week ago she was sent to the ICU.

Uh, When's Your Birthday?

I am horrible when it comes to remembering birthdays.  I know my own and that of my immediate family.  Anybody else -- extended family, close friends -- and it's as if they don't have birthdays at all.  Growing up without needing to send birthday gifts may be the reason I have not taken the courtesy to remember them.  And it always makes me feel bad ... for a while.

I particularly lament not remembering my best friend's birthday.  I think he's a Virgo.  Or a Libra.  Anyway, I know his birthday has come by late September (although I have to add that I don't know if his birthday is in late September), so I usually call around then and wish him a Happy Birthday, even though I am days and possibly weeks late.  And no, I don't make an effort to remember his birthday.  My guilt over forgetting, followed by my belated call/apologies, followed by my refusal to remedy this situation by remembering his birthday, is now an evergreen routine.

Yesterday afternoon my brother brought my niece over so My Father could see her and My Mother could play with her.  At some point Mother asked her if she wanted to eat her birthday cake.  Birthday cake?  And then I remembered that my niece's birthday is, uh, very soon.  And I feel particularly bad about hers because I really, really wanted to remember my niece's birthday.  I remember last year not knowing precisely her birthdate so I texted her mom (my sister-in-law) for 1) her birthday and 2) ideas on what to get her for a gift.  I'm pretty I sure I texted her the same two questions the year before that, and the year before that.  But last year I thought I had it down: I know my niece was born on this date, and I will be prepared by sending her a gift that would arrive by that date.  Nope, I forgot yet again!  And so a gift I need to send her will be late in coming -- again.  That tardiness will be compounded because I haven't yet asked my sister-in-law what my niece is into right now.  Dammit.

I can't vow to change anymore.  I'm 45.  I don't know if I have the will nor the ability to remember something as simple and important as my niece's birthday.

Two Down, One (Two?) To Go

Yeah, so the result from last Saturday's COVID-19 test was negative.  I will take one more today; if I test negative on this one, that most definitely means that my co-worker, who currently is in the ICU and may be fighting for her life, did not infect me.  That is a miracle.

Of course, seeing as I have fucked around with other strippers, and will continue to do so, I guess my edict about not needing to test ever again is short-sighted.  At the very least I will need to test until two weeks after my second shot, at which point I am as immune to the coronavirus as I will get.  Just need to make it till then (crosses fingers)

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

Positive Numbers (tie): Gopher men's gymnastics and Gopher women's gymnastics (FIRST TIME EVER! and Re-Entry, respectively).  I don't know gymnastics at all.  (I remember that when we had phy. ed., while the girls took "tumbling," we had wrestling.  Bad memories.  Anyway ...)  But I am starting to get into women's collegiate gymnastics because floor exercise routines from competitors keep going viral.  Also, I have a passing interest in men's gymnastics because Minnesota, which finished fifth in the NCAA Tournament is now, for all intents and purposes, dead; it was one of the sports the university cut.  (Irony?  The Gophers hosted the tournament.)

So it is bittersweet, if not bitter, that one of its team members, Shane Wiskus, was awarded the Nissen-Emery Award as the best Senior men's gymnast, the fifth (and presumably final) Gopher to do so.  Cold comfort, probably, but it is an award that should be honored here at the WMNSS.

Meanwhile, this is only the second-ever mention of the Gopher women gymnasts here.  The first and only other time was back in 2016, when Lindsay Mable was the first Gopher to ever receive the AAI Aaward for best Senior women's gymnast in the country.  Well, we mention the program, which got bounced in the national semifinals in Fort Worth, Tex., again because five Years later, a second Gopher has won the AAI.  She is Lexy Ramler, out of St. Michael, Minn., and Winona High School.  Wow!  She's One Of Us!

So Minnesota sweeps the two awards given to Senior gymnasts.  Congratulations!!  Unfortunately, only one of the teams will survive.  Sorry, gentlemen.

#0: Wild (Last Week: -2).  I cannot put people who win annual league- (or when it comes to college division-) wide awards anywhere else except at the tippy top of The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey.  Yet it feels really, really unfair to rank a team that just went 4-0 over the past screening Week, consisting of a pair of sweeps over San Jose (at home) and Arizona (in Glendale), below any other club.  Especially when you have a guy on said team who does this:

 

Man, Kirill Kaprizov ... just take a look at the athleticism and the, well, balls on the guy.  My God, that was a one-on-three!!!  If there were no pandemic right now, and people could pack the X, I know he would be the most electrifying player in the Twin Cities, bar none.  At least he seems like the odds-on favorite to win the Calder.  There's some guy on The Bastard North Stars who some people think is Kaprizov's equal.  No fucking way, appropriators.  Oh, and, thanks, Chuck Fletcher.

I have no idea if Minnesota has locked up a spot in the playoffs.  But I know they're playing very well right now, and (I may have said this before) for a team slated to be fighting for a playoff spot, the rebuilding plan is well ahead of schedule.

This week: At Los Angeles and San Jose back-to-back tonight/Friday night and tomorrow/Saturday night, then a three-Day break before hosting St. Louis for a pair Wednesday and Thursday.

#-1: Gopher softball (Last Week: 0).  Won three-of-four at home vs. Nebraska over the weekend.  They lost the capper, 6-4, which ended their winning streak at eight.  I know Pitchers in softball pitch underhand, but Amber Fiser, the team's ace/only Starting Pitcher (?), but damn, she is starting every Game and I don't know how her arm hasn't fallen off.  She's 10-5, by the by.  Host Iowa for four.

#-2: Timberwolves (Last Week: -3).  You know, the Wolves actually had a decent Week!  They actually defeated Miami (and charlatan Jimmy Butler) at Target Friday, 119-111 in a Game broadcast on Channel 23.  They got blown out at the Clippers Sunday, but then they split two contests at Sacramento, the first of which was an easy 134-120 victory Tuesday, the second a moral victory/actual loss Wednesday, 128-125.  Too bad that with San Antonio defeating Detroit, the Woofie Dogs are now officially eliminated for this Year's playoffs.  Yep -- close but no cigar.

This week: Home and away vs. the Jazz, then at Houston (who still are the only squad with a worse record than Minnesota), then home to Golden State.

Note: The bottom drops from here on out.

#-3: United FC (Re-Entry!).  So the Loons began their fifth season in Major League Soccer, after a Year in which they made a miracle run to the Western Conference Finals and were a chokejob away from getting to MLS Cup, Friday night at the team that eliminated them in said Finals, the Seattle Sounders, and ... they got shit-kicked 4-0.  All four Seattle Goals were scored in the Second Half, so at least the First Half was a draw -- right?

The optimist (and season ticket-holder) in me thinks the organization has a good system going: Relentless looking for and buying help (mostly from Latin America) to push the guys they already have.  But Kevin Molino, the team's longtime talisman who was both healthy and ripping up the league at the end of the season, flew off to Columbus.  So the pessimist (and Minnesota sports fan) in me is afraid that every opponent is going to bottle up Bebelo Reynoso, and the team will fall apart because it's so difficult for a non-stardom team in MLS to maintain success.  And to top it all off I won't even be able to see them at Allianz Field at least until I get fully vaccinated.  Yeah, it's one Match, but I still feel I have a right to now fear the worst for them.

They open up the home portion of their schedule Saturday against Real Salt Lake.  Like with the Timberwolves, MNUFC will be showing many of their Games -- more than half, in fact -- on broadcast television, specifically on Channel 23/The CW Twin Cities.  Good!

#-4: Gopher baseball (Last Week: -5).  Ew.  What a fucked-up week for Twin Cities baseball.

This already feels like Head Coach John Anderson's worst-ever ballclub, and the season's barely half-over.  The team's losing streak now stands at seven after getting swept at home by Michigan.  Look at Friday's opener; they lost 21-5.  I was angling to work that Game and I'm now glad I didn't.  (By the way, remember that in the Game before that, on Sunday, the Goofers lost to Iowa 18-0.)  Gopher Athletics PR did not note any records set in the recap of that emasculation, but there has to be some, and they should be honest about disclosing them.

Weird note: The Goofs lost the Saturday contest 4-0, but the U.'s Starting Pitcher in that Game, Jack Liffrig, was named B1G Pitcher Of The Week.  No, he didn't surrender any of the Runs and and pitched seven scoreless.  But what a weird situation in which to find the conference Pitcher Of The Week.

This team is now 4-20.  I read on the blog The Daily Gopher that the U. has never finished worse than ninth in the Big Ten under Anderson.  That fate might already be sealed even before their three-Game set at Indiana this weekend.  Note: The first two Games will be played as a Doubleheader on Friday, then they'll play the final Game on Sunday.  Wut?

#-5: Twins (Last Week: -4).  Holy fuck, the worm has fucking turned on this ballclub.  The Twinks were flying high after the first Week of the season.  But after going 0-4 this past screening Week, losing nine of their past ten Matches, and having three Games postponed (for now) due to an outbreak of COVID-19 on the organization, Minnesota now has the worst record in the American League.  It's that last reason that I threw the Twinks below the Goofer Nine.  But really, tomato, tomahto.

With the possible exception of Starting Pitching, every facet on this squad has fallen apart.  That systemic breakdown has reached ridiculous proportions in the three Games played in Oakland.  COVID-19 contact tracing smushed the first two tilts of the series into a Tuesday twi-night Doubleheader in which the team was completely shut out, 7-0 and 1-0.  Then on Wednesday the bats actually came alive, capped off with a Byron Buxton Homer in the top of the Tenth Inning to give Minnesota the lead.  But a pair of Errors, coming from a club that many touted as having the best defensive Infield with the signing of Andrelton Simmons, gave The Bastard Philadelphia-By-Way-Of-Kansas City Athletics a come-from-behind, 13-12 victory.

This team is butt now.  I hope to God they don't use the coronavirus outbreak, or the Derek Chauvin trial, or the killing of Daunte Wright, as excuses if they finish the season, like, 62-100.  Which they are well on the way to reaching now.

Pittsburgh has been a penny-pinching, freeloading franchise for Years now.  They didn't have much topline talent at the end of last season and they still offloaded them for a shitload of trades.  Seriously, the Pirates are a glorified AAA team right now.  And I can totally see them coming into Target Field this weekend and beating the shit out of the Twinks.  That's how bad this team is right now.  And after this weekend they play versus Cleveland on the road for a trio.

#-Infinity: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -1).  No.  No fucking goddamn way.  How in the fuck did these Goofers, seeded third in the NCAA Tournament, lose in five Sets to unseeded Pittsburgh?  What these players pulled is such bullshit it's embarrassing.

Now, I admit I haven't been following the team that closely, but apparently this unit was hurting, and leaking, well before the tourney bubble.  C. C. McGraw, the team's star Libero, was hurt and did not make it to Omaha.  Meanwhile, the passing of Setter Melani Shaffmaster apparently was shit all Year, and it reared its ugly head against an unheralded Panther program that had not lost in a long while.  Finally, from what I read on the World Wide Web, Middle play was execrable too, and the Mids for Pitt just feasted on it.  So how in the fuckety-fuck was this club seeded third?

I said in last week's Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey that I was OK with throwing away the U.'s women's soccer season.  I can't do it for volleyball.  This is the second season in the past three where Minnesota was upset in the tournament.  Yeah, the season inbetween they reached the Final Four.  But I cannot accept not playing up to your level of talent, nor should I tolerate the whipsaw effect the past three Years have given me and Gopher v-ball fans, nor will I accept the excuses the team and its loyalists have given as reasons they lost so early.  Want to note that, for the second time in the past three tournaments, the other teams seeded similarly to the U. played to their seeds and reached the Final Four.  This Year, #1 Wisconsin, #2 Kentucky, and #4 Texas are playing in the National Semifinals ... along with #6 Washington, a team I presumed Minnesota would beat.  Their upset loss is even more conspicuous in this context.

And there is not consensus from fervent fans that this season can be a throwaway.  There are those who are afraid that the incoming recruits are not going to sufficiently replace those who are leaving, most notably Stephanie Samedy, who was named First-Team All-American and is probably too good not to start her professional career and pass up a pandemic-given Year back at the Sports Pavilion.  I'm not certain that this will start a tailspin in the program.  But how can you not worry about the health of this team and its future if they keep getting upset like this bullshit?

After 2019's Final Four run, I was OK thinking that the humiliation from 2018, where they didn't even reach the Final Four they were hosting in Minneapolis, was behind them and all of us.  Now, I don't know.  At least I didn't waste any money watching them in person this past season because I couldn't go to their Games.  This performance ensure I won't be watching them in person next season, either.

My Innocent Conversation ... Fuck You, Old Man

My Fucking Father ... I may have already talked about this ... I hate, fucking hate when I try to start a conversation at the dinner table and he uses it to come down on me over something he hates about me.  It had been about going back to school, and I hope to God that he realizes that fucking ship has sailed.  Cleaning my room to a standard he approves of?  He hasn't let that go yet.

Yesterday I told Mother that I am thinking about buying something on Amazon.  She has asked me to tell her before I buy something just in case she needs something; that way we may save money on shipping.  So that motherfucker uses this opportunity to start a conversation I don't want, about cleaning my room -- pack those Amazon boxes away (that's how he ties what he wants to talk about with my conversation), then clean up your room and other bullshit.

And I hate, just fucking hate, how he hijacks my innocent conversation, and me, to point out something he thinks I do wrong.  And I am in fear that if I don't do what he has taking this craven opportunity to tell me what I should do, he'll do it for me.  Several months ago he tried to recycle some of my papers.  I was able to stop him, but only because I was willing to dig into the trash to retrieve my things.  I can't give into him now.  But once he knows I'm going to resist, what will he do to me?

And goddammit, we were going so well.  I think I need to realize that this isn't something I triggered in him.  He has been annoyed by my things for some time, apparently; he just wanted an opportunity to tell me, and like a pussy-ass bitch, he uses my innocent conversation to do it.

Fuck that old man in his diseased pisshole.

Accountability, Not Justice

Well, well, well ... so the twelve jurors did the right thing and found Derek Chauvin guilty of killing George Floyd.  It's a momentous moment, to be sure.  I'm just scared that in the long run, this guilty verdict will be undercut by other news that will happen.  The defense will appeal, if it hasn't already done so.  For all we know, that appeal could cut the sentence Chauvin is supposed to get in eight weeks to, like, time served.  And there very well may be another unlawful local shooting done by police in the Twin Cities that will make it seem as if we have wiped out all the gains we made which culminated in what happened yesterday afternoon.  Shit, we already had one during the trial in Daunte Wright.

But this feels like the first time in American history that a police officer has been convicted of killing a Black man in the line of duty.  It probably isn't, but that video finally convinced large swaths of White people of a deadly, oppressive reality for Black Americans.  And despite the defense's attempts to convince just one juror not to believe his or her eyes and ears, the entire jury knew that they saw what they saw.  It is a sad commentary that not a whole bunch of us were convinced the jury would face that reality, but America has had a fucked-up track record of not bringing White police officers to justice for the killing of Black Americans.

And speaking of justice -- a lot of tweets made a distinction between that word and "accountability."  It's a slight difference, but I believe it to be a real one.  No, I guess justice wasn't served yesterday.  Accountability was, however: "Justice implies true restoration.  But [the guilty verdict] is accountability, which is the first step towards justice," said Minnesota Attorney General Keith Ellison said (and thank God and Buddha and the deities above that more Minnesotans elected him to AG instead of that Republican ass-kisser Doug Wardlow).  I don't think I'm much of an activist.  But this is a much-needed and long-overdue step toward being the country we claim we are perpetually striving to be.  So let's get to stepping.

An update now on my co-worker.  Last week I learned, through another co-worker, that she came down with COVID-19.  I talked about it, but frankly, I made it about me and how I now have to worry about contracting it.

I really shouldn't have, and I was a dick for being so self-centered.  Well ... I had to worry about it, and I still need to make sure I didn't get the coronavirus from her.  But I just looked back at how I blog posted about her plight through the prism of how it affected me.  That wasn't right, I am wrong, and I feel guilty about putting it that way -- especially in light of news I got yesterday.

The same co-worker who told me she got COVID said at work that she thought about texting her over the weekend to see how she's doing.  But before she did, she received a text from her sister.  She's in the hospital now.  In the Intensive Care Unit.  She has not been intubated yet, but the decision was made to get her to the hospital in case that needed to be done.

I remember early in the pandemic seeing statistics of a person's chances of surviving once he or she got the virus -- a percentage would be asymptomatic, a smaller percentage would go to the hospital, go to the ICU, put on a ventilator, etc. ... the bar would get shorter and shorter until the graph/triangle ends at a point at the bottom, marking the percentage that dies from COVID-19.  My co-worker -- who, by the way, had gotten her second shot of the vaccine, though I don't know when in relation to when she got infected -- is falling through these cracks, so to speak.  I want to think that the mortality rate for people in her position is a lot better now than during the onset of the pandemic because hospitals now have experience as to what works to save people; the latest article online that I can find, from November, confirms my hunch.  But then again, if she had just gotten her second shot, should she really be in the hospital?  And if it's anticipated she will need to be hooked up to the ventilator ... won't her life be in jeopardy?

I still can't believe that my co-worker is in this position.  One of the last times I saw her was when we were cut from work early; I opened the door on my way out, I saw her waiting for her ride, I waved to her and she waved back.  Didn't think much of it.  I lost one Facebook friend to the coronavirus, and a good friend of mine survived a hellacious bout with it.  But if only by physical proximity, this is affecting my life a lot more.  So to hell with worrying about whether she gave me the 'Rona.  I have to hope I'll be able to see her again, for God's sake.

My Porn Addiction Episode

Because I didn't think I had done so in a while, and therefore I was a good boy, I spent some time this past evening going through OnlyFans and buying photos and videos from babes.  I go in with the intention of weeding out the ones who only tease and don't show and tits or pussy.  But pretty soon this red mist descends on my id, and I just begin to start buying this one, and that one, and these ones and those ones.  I am more disappointed with non-nude stuff (and I need to do a better job at this weeding out process) than pleasantly surprised by actual nudity (that, I must admit, I was able to jerk off to last night).  But at some point last night I think I bought, like, a dozen videos and pictures, and I mentally think I bought, like, $100 worth of stuff.

No big deal, right?  But I checked my credit card online just in case.  I wasn't brave enough to add up all the things I bought last night.  But I can see that the last time I was on OF wasn't, like, a week ago -- it was, maybe, a few days ago.  And it looks like I had the same number of transactions then than I did last night.  And a similar number a few days before that ... and a few days before that ... etc.  I still ask for my statements to be mailed to me, just so I can remind myself that I have credit cards to pay off.  And frankly, I think next month's statement will be so big and heavy, the credit card company will have to pay extra to send it, and for all I know, they'll pass the charges along to me.

I shudder to think my addiction has gotten to big now that it's actually eating into my accounts.  But I do see the grand total of what I had to pay on my last statement, when my OnlyFans binge began, I think (almost $900), and I took a look at how much the next statement will be (almost a grand).  I wonder how much of those payments have gone/will go to OF.  No -- I fear how much of those payments have gone/will go to OF.

So yeah, I need to practice some self-control.  But I don't know if I can, or I won't until I put myself in financial disaster.

No More Sunday Work

I thought there would be some announcement or something, although I don't remember past announcements of previous hires.  But my co-worker back on Monday said that the department hired a new person.  She comes from the lab, and I saw her escorted around our area a few weeks ago by my boss.  She began training last week.  In a reply to asking him where he needs me next week, he said that her training is going to be stepped up; she will be filling in on tasks I filled in last week.  Eventually, she will fully take over the position that was once that "wraparound" job from Saturdays to Tuesdays, which I think my boss modified because the schedule was just too funky to attract people.  But that schedule will include Sundays, and my slot; in that same e-mail, my boss said he expects her to take over Sundays by around Memorial Weekend.

First of all, I will say that I don't think we need to fill this position -- at least I don't think.  Right now there are two of us who are jacks-of-all-trades, going through what eventually will be four departments.  The other three departments I understand; there could be a third person there, especially in filing, since there is a position open there and filing really needs someone.  But she, like us two, will mainly be out in the main department, and there has been enough people to key all the forms there that finishing on time has never been a problem.  We in fact have been cut early once each of the past two weeks.  That is an indication that enough people are working to take care of the forms that come in each day.  Another body is just going to get the work done faster, and raise the possibility that we all will get cut sooner.  I don't get that.

As for Sundays ... hey, I've got to admit that ever since I volunteered to take over Sunday afternoons -- only four hours a day to take care of a job that someone has to be there to do during that time of day -- back in the fall, I've come to enjoy it.  It gives me a good reason to get out of the house, first of all.  Also, I like going to work without having a boss there, at least usually.  I have gotten into some pickles about not prioritizing the responsibilities I needed to prioritize, and there have been a couple occasions where the machines have broken down and I didn't know what to do.  But there is a big difference going to that job when you know there isn't an authority figure there.  My boss doesn't hover or anything.  But it still feels ... liberating to be able to do your job without him even there.  Moreover, there are fewer people there on Sundays, so the atmosphere is much more relaxed because of the quantity of people.  I can turn on the radio that the night shift turns on and I'm not invading anybody's space because no one else is in the department.

Also, I have grown to like the half-days off I have needed to take in order to stay at 40 hours per week.  I have usually "made up for" working Sundays by taking off Friday afternoon.  That makes me feel as though I am starting my weekend early.  Yes, in that sense that means that my workweek starts on Sunday.  But I'm comparing myself to the others working there; namely, I am getting off of work when they still have to work Friday afternoon.  I have to admit that I feel "better than" other people when I leave work early.  And that feeling of superiority will be gone by next month, and I'll be boxed back into that five-day, eight-hour-per-day restraint.

It's those two things -- a less stressful work environment and taking off an afternoon while my co-workers continue to toil -- that I will miss most once I stop working Sunday half-days.  Yeah, the upside is that I will have Sundays all to myself now, and there won't be any conflicts once Vikings season begins.  And, with most things, I'll eventually get used to my old schedule and even see the bright side to Mondays-Fridays again.  But right now I won't.  Right now I feel as though something has been taken from me, and I am sad.  Crestfallen, even.

Sorry, Young Man, I Just Wanted Some Sanitizer

So after work on Sunday I decided not to walk in the park because it was cloudy and windy and relatively cold.  Instead, I went to Potluck, the new food court at Rosedale.  For the past two months they're "celebrating" ranch dressing, which I guess is a thing with White people?  But it's good, and to "celebrate," nearly all the stalls have special foods with ranch as an ingredient.  It lasts through the end of the month.  Wanted a quiet Sunday afternoon off by myself, so I went.

I decided to get a biscuit from the, uh, biscuit place; they had a special ranch-flavored gravy or something.  Not bad.  But the wait was long, even interminable; they got caught flat-footed with the gravy and I guess it took a lot of time to make some.  In the meantime, I thought I should clean my hands.

Around this particular area of the food court, there are hand sanitizer stations, of course.  But people need to do a better job of filling them.  I see empty stations in many places, and it happened when I walked up to the one right at the entrance to the rest of the mall.  So I cast my eyes around for another station.  That's when I saw a hand sanitizer pump on the counter for another place, one besides the biscuit place.  I didn't think nuthin' of going up there and using it.  But I didn't see the guy who was manning the cash register, just hanging out while sitting in a chair far from the cash register.  And when he saw me approach the front he bolted up as if to take my order, but then he quickly sat down as soon as he saw that I was just going for the hand sanitizer.  But when I saw him get up and then sit down, I made this sheepish look like I was saying, "Oh, sorry dude, just using the hand sanitizer!"

I didn't mean to trick the guy.  But I feel so guilty that he thought I was going to order something when I didn't that, I'm serious, I feel as though I need to buy something from him when I go to Rosedale again.  You know, just to make up for this mix-up.  I might go over there tomorrow, in fact.

Stepped On Dog Shit For The First Time

This was in ****e's bedroom after I fucked her.  I was hoping in to her bed for my customary post-coital nap.  I didn't have my glasses on.  I saw a dark curved thing in the floor and I thought it was one of her dog's toys.  I avoided it the first time I saw it, but I was not careful the next time and ... I felt it on my left foot.  Once I grazed it, I knew exactly what it was.

Picked up shit for the first time.  With a towel, of course.  That was an experience.  I don't know how dog owners do it.

And then I asked ****e if I could use her shower to clean my foot.  It's kind of scary rubbing a bar of soap on your foot and then seeing that bar all darkened.  Eventually I had to scrub my foot with my hand, then make sure as hell my hand was damn clean.

I think I got it all.  But I still feel as though I have phantom shit on the bottom of my foot, so I feel like I'm tainting everything I place my left foot on.  For example, right now I am laying down on my bed while blog posting this.  I'm propping up my laptop with my legs, and therefore I have my foot on my bed.  I just did the six-month rotation on my bed this evening, and I changed the bedsheet (as well as the pillowcases).  And I can't help but think I've already made my new bedsheet hella dirty.  Hopefully that's not real.  Hopefully it's just my OCD.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#0: Gopher softball (Last Week: -4).  I just assumed that the Minnesota softball program is a good one, and would naturally sit atop the Big Ten Conference for Years to come.  So maybe I am being naive when I finally checked a softball poll and did not see the U. on it.  Is something wrong?

That is why I give weight to a critical four-Game sweep this team pulled at Northwestern, which was ranked (in the twenties last Week, but still) over the weekend.  It was a competitive series; the Gophers had to go ten Innings to beat the Wildcats in Friday's series opener and eight in the first Game of Sunday's Doubleheader.  But sweep they did, and so the U. is now a healthy 19-5 on the Year, ranked (even though that may not be a great indicator of strength), and, at for this Week, both atop the WMNSS and above negative numbers.

Host Nebraska for four this weekend.

#-1: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: 0).  Last/Thursday evening they began their part in the 48-team NCAA Tournament (held in Omaha, Neb.) with a three-Set sweep of Georgia Tech, 19-21-18.  It's funny to go on Twitter and see the athletic department's PR team put out a graphic for the club saying "We're Going to the Sweet Sixteen!" when it'd be more accurate to put "We Won One Tournament Game!"  Come on, you're Minnesota -- you're supposed to make the Sweet Sixteen every Year.

And, by all rights, they should make it to the Elite Eight, too ... every Year, but this Year especially.  That's because the squad's next opponent is not a Top 16 seed.  One would think the third-seeded Gophers would face the #14 seed in the Regional Semifinals, which in this tournament is Utah.  Was, actually: The Utes were upset (swept even) by Pittsburgh, 16-18-19.  So I will assume that the Gophers take care of business against the Panthers and march on to a matchup in the Regional Final versus either sixth-Seeded Washington or 11th-Seeded Louisville.

Note that the tournament schedule gets real funky this screening Week.  There isn't a time for the Game against Pitt, but it will be on Sunday.  The Elite Eight contest is Monday.  And if the U. makes it to the Final (as they should), the National Semifinal (possibly/probably against #2 Seed Kentucky) will take place Thursday.

#-2: Wild (Last Week: -3).  The next three teams are the local pro teams playing right now, and they all won only one Game this screening Week.  The Mild, however, remain in prime position to make the playoffs.  The squad's lone win this screening Week, 5-2 at the X over The Bastard Winnipeg Jets Wednesday afternoon (the Game was moved to a weekday afternoon to avoid any curfew and/or potential unrest due to the Daunte Wright killing), helped tremendously; Arizona's fifth, and putting two more Points between them and the third-place Wild pads already overwhelming odds the Wild reach the postseason.  That cushions the wake-up calls that a weekend sweep in St. Louis gave the club.  Friday they lost 9-1, the most Goals the franchise has ever given up in a single Game.  Then on Saturday, they give up the Game-tying Goal late in regulation and then lose in Overtime with two Seconds left.  The Blues sit in fourth in the Western Division, and yet there is evidence to fear a potential Second-Round matchup with them.

This Week: Back-to-back home Games vs. San Jose, then two at the Coyotes.

#-3: Timberwolves (Last Week: -6).  A 121-117 win at Target Center over Chicago is the lone highlight in a Week where the Dogs lost at Boston in OT (after blowing a big lead) and then got blown out at home to Brooklyn and Milwaukee.  But fuck that: The biggest news in my mind is that you can actually see Timberwolves Games on over-the-air TV!!!  I was just idling looking at the Timberwolves schedule online when I noticed that tonight's/Friday night's home Game against Miami will be on Channel 23, aka The CW-Twin Cities!  The team's first Game on that channel was the one at Philadelphia on the 3rd.  I don't know what prompted this out-of-nowhere move -- was it the pandemic?  Cord-cutting?  The team and its perpetually losing ways?  Whatever it is, it has been ages since regular season professional sports Games has been broadcast on free TV.  MNUFC aired Games over broadcast in its first season in Major League Soccer.  If you don't count soccer, well ... gosh, it's either be the Wild on Channel 5 or the Twins on Sundays, and that was a long, long time ago.  I think this is a fantastic development.  There are people who are starving for sports but simply don't have the money to cough up cable or satellite or even a streaming service (possibly because they don't own a computer or a phone).  That has made sports exclusive and elitist.  This is a move that hopefully puts a stop to that.  (The Loons are putting several Matches on over-the-air this season as well.)

Sure, they're gonna lost the Game versus the Heat.  (By the way, after that Game they'll play at the Clippers and then in Sacramento for two back-to-back tilts.)  But I get to see them get embarrassed on my TV screen!

#-4: Twins (Last Week: -2).  Wow.  This past Week compared to Opening Week is like night and day.  Because the Twinks were one bloop Game-ender away from finishing this Week winless.  I don't know what the fuck happened, but yesterday/Thursday afternoon's 4-3 victory broke a five-Game losing streak that encompassed the whole Week.  And it's not as if they were playing the Dodgers.  No, they were playing the moribund Mariners and the rebuilding Red Sox.  And they were playing both at home.  That makes this Week even more infuriating, and the main reason I parked these guys below the Woofs.

It looks as if the wheels have completely fallen off this ballclub.  Nelson Cruz and Byron Buxton are hurt (again), and it appears the Offense has completely evaporated with them out of the lineup.  Andrelton Simmons is now gone with COVID-19.  The relief corps has cratered, already blowing several leads.  And the Starting Pitching, overall the best part of this squad, has also blown a tire after supposedly firing on all cylinders.  Kenta Maeda's dumb throw was critical in the Red Sox's 3-2 win in the front end of Wednesday's Doubleheader, and Jose Berrios simply didn't have it and let too many batters on base before being lifted with men in scoring position.  The reliever (I don't know who it is, and I don't care) promptly gave up Runs.

Yesterday/Thursday's Game probably pisses me off the most, if only because I heard the really big development in the car, and this was the Game this Week the Twinks won.  Minnesota was leading 3-0 in the eighth when Manager Rocco Baldelli, being ordered by the analytics gods and/or FalVine, lifted starter Michael Pineda -- well before he threw 100 Pitches, like he usually does.  Taylor Rodgers comes in and quickly loads the bases.  And then he gives up a Game-tying, three-Run Double down the Left Field line.  It was Max Kepler that saved the Twinks' asses by winning the Game at the Bottom of the Ninth.  But this slavish reflex of lifting a Starting Pitcher, even if he is throwing very well, has already fed the fanbase's worst fears of snatching defeat from the jaws of victory by relying on a bullpen that is already overwhelmed and over their heads.  And the outright refusal of even allowing a starter to pitch to 100, to let a good thing ride, to staying with the hot hand, to being flexible, is already eliciting anger from people who have already seen too many of these manifestations of sabermetrics blow up in their team's faces.

The Twinks, fresh off a 2-5 homestand, travel to Anaheim and Oakland.

#-5: Gopher baseball (Last Week: -5).  As much of a dumpster fire the Twins have become in just a Week, they're a campfire compared to the state-engulfing wildfire that is the Gophers baseball team.  Over the weekend they were swept at Iowa, and it wasn't close -- 7-1, 6-1 and, fucking egad, 18-0.  They lost by a combined 31-2.  And now they're 4-17 on the season.  These guys aren't a major sport, but I think this is a majorly underreported story.

Host Michigan for three.  Thought I could work this/Friday afternoon's contest, but I wasn't called, so I guess I'll just fuck ****e instead.

#-Infinity: Gopher soccer (Last Week: -1).  Well, this program's season ended with a quiet thud.  Unheralded Iowa, which upset Illinois (who was hosting this portion of "Regional Weekend") has continued its Cinderella season by ended the Golden Gophers' season Sunday afternoon, 2-0.  And it got done early; the Hawkeyes scored what is the Game-winner 62 Seconds into the Match,, then tacked on an insurance Goal 373 Seconds later (that's 7:15 into the Match).

So this team wound up scoring only seven Goals this Year.  Sure, that's only through 12 Matches (and one Match declared a No-Contest), but still.  This season "counts," for sure, but if there is any season you just burn and forget ever happened, this one is easy to do.

One Down, Two (Three?) To Go

It was a little later than to my liking, but I got the result from my first test at work: Negative.  Good.  That gives me cover (though maybe not anything credible, at least according to Dr. Anthony Fauci) to get my fuck on with a couple of my stripper girlfriends.

The big one is Saturday.  Then the Saturday after that I'll need to take a final test, which, if also negative, means it'll be two weeks since being in contact with my co-worker, and therefore I did not contract at all the coronavirus from my co-worker.  Fingers crossed.

RIP, Major League Baseball On Satellite Radio (Well, At Least On My Subscription Package)

I got the news about a couple months ago (or sooner) that Major League Baseball Games were going from the Select tier on SiriusXM to All-Access, the highest.  Problem is, I am on Select, not All-Access.

I was initially intrigued by satellite radio when, I think, saw I this commercial as a trailer before a movie:

 

I don't know what at the time frustrated me about terrestrial radio.  Was it the interference I got whenever I wanted to hear a station?  Was it listening to the same songs over and over again on the local Top 40 station?  Or were my tastes changing, and I wanted to hear jazz, and more alternative, and more obscure classic rock than the stations in Minneapolis-St. Paul were willing to spin?

My interest was piqued, but I didn't think about satellite radio (in this case XM Radio, which was in competition with Sirius Satellite Radio; they merged in 2008) until I got a, I will admit, junk mail offer from, of all entities, the St. Louis Cardinals.  I had started going down to the Loo regularly, and I must have bought a ticket through the team instead of getting one on the street from a scalper, because they sent me an introductory package for XM -- featuring Cardinals Games, of course -- at a newcomer's price.  I wanted to try XM, and I love the Cardinals, so I took this piece of mail as a sign I should sign up.  But I lost the letter and the offer.  At which point I was so desperate to get it that I called the Cardinals switchboard for help; I think the receptionist on the other end asked me for my mailing address so she could send another offer through the mail.

I think how I set up satellite radio is a good story, and one I can tell in a separate blog post (mostly because I'm tired now).  But suffice it to say I loved XM.  Not only could I listen to baseball Games from teams besides the Twins (and the Cardinals), I could listen to stations solely dedicated to jazz, reggae, blues, folk, old alternative, the grungier side of alternative, the janglier side of alternative, etc. -- many of them commercial-free.  It was exactly what I wanted.  And it still is; one cannot be the breadth and variety of music and, now that I'm older, talk channels that you can listen to.

I've had my ups and downs with satellite radio since.  I actually started off on the lower Select tier.  At some point, though I didn't realize it when it happened, I got bumped up to All-Access, which meant I had to pay more.  Also, the merger between XM and Sirius, creating what is now known as SiriusXM, severely jacked up the price of subscription, which I have usually paid at the annual rate.  More content was added to keep me happy at the All-Access tier for a little while, namely NFL Games and then sports channels dedicated to the five BcS college conferences.  But satellite radio was still really, really expensive, and frankly, I decided that I didn't need to listen (or, to be more accurate, have access to listen) to Games for NFL teams besides the Vikings, or radio communications between drivers and crew chiefs for NASCAR teams (NASCAR was on Select, but then was moved to All-Access at some point), and it would save me $60 a year.  So about two Years ago I busted myself down a tier.

I was fine.  Getting many more sports and music channels is good, and I might miss some of the ones I had tuned in to from time to time, but I still immensely enjoy SiriusXM, and I saved myself some money.  But then the news that MLB is going up to All-Access came down.  Moreover, I thought the first e-mail I got about this (or was it an actual postcard through the mail?) told me that I would lose access to baseball Games starting on Thursday.  Well, after seeing an e-mail last/Tuesday evening and then logging into the online SiriusXM app on my phone and then the player on the Internet, apparently it has already jumped, a day sooner than I thought it would.

Whether it happens today or tomorrow doesn't matter in the long run, I guess.  This still won't convince me to upgrade my package back up to everything, even if I do have a steady job.  I just don't know the reasons or the reasoning behind this move.  Since when did MLB and/or SiriusXM decide it was going to be exclusive like this?  I don't think I'll miss it.  But baseball is the heartbeat of summer, and sometimes I'm really bored on a Sunday afternoon, and I have turned on my satellite radio and spun to the MLB channels just to take in a random Game between, like, the Pirates and the Mariners, and it's great to listen to because you get to hear different announcers and teams you don't usually follow and don't care about because they're not your team.  I really hope I don't miss baseball then.  But who knows?

Yesterday Was A Day Where Everything Fell Apart

Didn't think a Monday would blindside me like this, but it has:

1. The position for which I filled in on Sundays apparently has been filled.  I saw my boss escort somehow who I believe worked elsewhere in the building around our areas a few weeks ago.  I thought she was The One, or at least someone who had been hired for our main department (whether or not we needed more people is a different question to ask).  But I didn't think about her or the situation until my co-worker said, out of the blue, that someone new was supposed to start yesterday.  I have mixed feelings about that, feelings I may expound upon later.
2. News that is a lot more impactful for me, even though altering a work schedule I have become accustomed to is impactful: My co-worker told me that another of our co-workers has tested positive for COVID-19.  You gotta be fucking kidding me.  She, according to the co-worker who worked with me yesterday, said she got her second shot more than a week ago.  I can't help but think how she got it -- and, more importantly, when.  Because by all accounts, this means that I need to get tested even though I got my first shot Saturday.  So I have been trying to do this math that encompasses guidelines on how long after being in close contact with someone I need to get tested and how soon I can get tested for it to be worth anything ... and it doesn't help that these guidelines seem to be different from each other.  My only saving grace is that I tested myself the afternoon after leaving work on Friday, which was the last day I was in contact with the co-worker who now has the corona.  It came back negative.  Testing as soon after your last contact with an infected person is a recommendation according to ... a website I looked at during work yesterday, which I cannot find now.  But I'm supposed to get tested again.  So much for The Last Time.  You know, I'm supposed to quarantine for at least ten days, and there's no fucking way I'm going to do that, and more ominously, neither my boss nor my company is going to tell me to do the right thing and stay home.  We're all at risk of spreading this shit, and therefore, we are all guilty.  I may expound on my feelings on that later.
3. Oh yeah, the Daunte Wright shooting.  Some veteran cop somehow mistakes her gun for her taser?!  So there's a curfew now, as I write this.  What I worry about is if this curfew gets extended.  It began at 7 last evening.  If we have similar curfews the rest of the week, that will affect both getting a rubdown from ******a Thursday night and getting my car serviced before the curfew would supposedly begin Thursday evening.  And, yeah, the whole world is going to hell thing, that sucks, too.  Feelings expounded upon, potentially, also later.

You know, I just slept between 6 in the evening and 1 in the morning.  And after blog posting about my bad day yesterday, I'm fuckin' tired all over again.

Glad To Know I Won't Be Busy ... So I Can Plan On Being Busy

As I have stated, my test scoring job for which I had to stay up nights for ended way, way earlier than first projected.  As I have also stated before, whenever I get a test scoring job, I always look at the end date as stated in the offer.  I count the days and cut them in half (and, to be generous, I round up).  That is the number of days/time I feel I can hardcore definitely say the project will last.  Because the length of these projects are always flexible.  They even say so, and they said so the first time I applied for a job.  This, however, is an extreme.  There have been, oh, a couple or a few projects where it lasted less than half the projected time.  This job, which was supposed to go for 20 days, lasted only nine, and much of the time spent during those nine days were spent looking at a two arrows moving clockwise in a circle.  This aborted project does not hold a candle to this other project years ago, where we told at the beginning of the second day that we were done within an hour or something.  But it's still disappointing.

Well, maybe not.  As I always seem to think when obligations fall through, I look forward to using my newly-found free time to use toward other things I need to do.  In fact, those other things were on my mind as soon as it dawned on me that this online, Work From Home project was going to have travel finding essays for us to score, and thus the end date of this project was going to come sooner than I thought -- although, like I said, I didn't think it was going to be this soon.  Three tasks come to mind ... and now, "cum" to think of it, two of these things aren't really obligations:

1. The oil percentage counter on my car has been ticking down for weeks now.  It's at 5%, and it is at that percentage when I finally decide to bring it in for an oil change because anything more than that is a waste of good oil.
2. I want to get rubdown from ******a.
3. I want to fuck ****e for the first time in months.

There was an originating factor that came into forming this list: Getting a vaccine.  I didn't really entertain the last two "tasks" until I found a time whereby I could get a shot.  Not that I'm safe (far from it), but right now, it is important for me to get some sort of vaccine before I could get into close contact with women I plan on being intimate with, particularly ****e, who I will be doing the do with.  (I have fucked her during the pandemic, as I have noted here in WAF, but the spread of these variants, which apparently are way more transmissible, gave me enough pause to not see her for a while.)  Getting the first shot on Saturday is enough for me to go through with plans on hanging out with my wang out with these two gorgeous women.  That may not be wise.  I'll grant you that.

There's a further complication.  About ten days ago I received another offer from the same test scoring place about another job -- also in the evening, also WFH, starting the Monday after the initial end date, and stretching (at least they say) all the way till the end of June.  I would certainly have Saturdays, and I would take the occasional afternoon or even day off from my main job.  But there are a lot of things I could do in the evening that I won't be able to do for the next ten (or even five, if my rule still is valid) calendar weeks.  Having time in the evening before this project begins would help me get around to doing stuff I need to do -- the oil change (amongst other things) is the big thing, but getting my fuck on would also help when it comes to burnishing my manhood.

But I had no bleepin' clue how early the project was going to end.  I didn't really have a clue if it was going to end early -- like there were five consecutive workdays where there was no work, but theoretically there could have been enough of a buildup of papers after that weeklong pause that would keep us busy till the projected drop-dead date.  I was prepared to end this job on Friday and start the new one Monday; I've done it before.  But there are appointments to be made with the dealership, and I have to text these babes to see if they're free.  None of those things I could really do unless I had any idea when and/or if I would be free in the evening.

So that's why I wasn't that mad when I came online 5:30 on Friday and was told by the project manager that we were all done.  I could be upset at all the work I thought we were going to have and didn't.  But that freed me up to get my car fixed and get a massage on Thursday, and get fucked Friday afternoon.  Moreover, I now have time to call my therapist for a tele-health conference Tuesday afternoon.  (The last time I spoke to him I was in a part and had to cut it off 20 minutes early because I had to, uh, go to the bathroom.)  And, I have to admit, I looked forward to being able to take my evening naps again.

And I don't think I would have been able to do all those things, or I would have needed to do some serious switching around, without having this week-long break from night work that starts tonight.  Again, I could use the money.  But this is yet another case where I, and I guess people, need certainty.  Whether it's good or bad, you can plan on reacting to it once you know what is coming, and when.  Plans that are up in the air are the worst because you are unable to prepare for an outcome.  Now, I can deal with it.  I can do the things I need to do, and do the things I want to do.

2021 March Madness Anti-Picks, Final

Record, Round 6: 0-1

Final Record: 21-29

Total Outlay, Round 6: $1,700.00

Total Winnings, Round 6: $0.00

Total Loss, Round 6: $1,700.00.

Final Loss: $3,213.63

Baylor had only the 44th-most-efficient defense in top-flight men's basketball, and I was supposed to pick them to win it all?!?!?!  No fucking way, and I don't care that they had very good odds of winning the championship.  But I tried convincing myself not to pick Gonzaga, both because it seems incredibly difficult to run the table and finish a season undefeated, and because they still cannot pull off the yoke that they're in a mid-major conference.  I just couldn't find a team that could do it: Houston and Alabama didn't have the star power; Illinois was going to get upset by Houston; Michigan lost their starting Point Guard ... and the Bears were going to be the one that gets upset early in the tournament because of defensive lapses.

That, of course, was not to be.  Maybe the Bulldogs blew their emotional wad when Jalen Suggs buried that 3 at the buzzer to beat UCLA.  But Baylor made their shots, turned the Zags over, and completely stomped them from the opening tip.  I needed Gonzaga (or at least Corey Kispert) to make some more shots to guide the Game over.  But since the Bulldogs and Kispert, didn't, the Bears felt comfortable bleeding clock near the end of the Game, and so the total of 156 fell under the Total of 159.5 ... making me a fool one final goddamn time with a (fake) hole in my bank account to the tune of $3,200.

And IRL wasn't much better.  There were enough people who bet Baylor to win the championship that I got shoved down the list and out of the money.  I eventually wound up 34th; the top 30 (as well as the person who finishes dead last) get something.  Sometimes I feel good about my finish regardless; I did pick two of the Final Four correctly, and I feel motivated to try again.  And sometimes I feel bad about it; there is no guarantee I will get even this close ever again.

Right now I feel shitty.  So I suck in fake gambling, which should make me feel good because the money I lost in this exercise is fake, but then I turn around and realize I suck in real gambling, too.

And I'll gladly do this bullshit again next Year.  Like a fuckin' cuck.

Oh, Now You Tell Me

So I took a nap before driving up the exurban Twin Cities in order to get my first COVID-19 vaccine.  I wake up and check my phone.  As you would know, some notifications come while you're away.  In the middle of a bunch of them, I get a text from ... the Minnesota Department of Health.  I have been randomly selected to get a vaccination at the Minnesota State Fairgrounds as early as Tuesday evening.  And it's Pfizer too -- the one I planned on getting because I have stock in them!  Do you wanna sign up?

Oh, now you tell me.

I don't want to be upset, and I certainly don't want to be some Edina Karen who feels as though he was absolutely fucked over by the timing of this text.  But this would have been perfect for me.  Getting a shot at a place half as far from home, and for the brand of vaccine I have rejected other appointments at other places for?  I mean, come on.  And if my appointment was even tomorrow, I would have cancelled that appointment under the assumption I could get a perfect appointment (preferably next Saturday, or maybe even Friday afternoon) at the Fairgrounds.  But I was about to leave for the appointment I found overnight Tuesday, and I don't think it would be right to cancel just over an hour before the appointment.  Besides, knowing me, if I did cancel this appointment to get that one, I would have screwed something up.  The appointment would have fallen through, maybe, or the vaccination site at the State Fair would've run out of Pfizer and switched me to, ick, Moderna.  (I'm kidding!)

The experience itself wasn't that bad.  It was at a Target -- the fitting rooms, to be specific.  I'm not sure if either the person writing down the information on my vaccine card or the person actually injecting the vaccine into me are actual professionals or just look like that because the former was wearing scrubs and the latter a white coat, but they did their jobs competently and treated me with respect.  I would have preferred a mass vaccination site because of the environment -- everybody would know that they're there to either administer or receive a vaccine, not to shop for groceries and food.  But again, I didn't run into any problems.  Well, it was kind of unsettling to see, by my count, four anti-maskers shopping because they felt free since we were closer to rural Minnesota.  (By the by, I saw a few South Asians there, including the two people in the shot line before me, and a couple Black people walking into Target as I was making my way out of Target.)  Other than that, no problems.

I am now awaiting the blowback.  Many, many more people get sick after the second shot, but I've heard some have gotten headaches, fever, chills and fatigue after the first shot.  That would suck if that happened to me because I'm working tomorrow and didn't plan on taking tomorrow off.  I bought a thermometer online, so I am finally going to get to use it tomorrow morning before going to work.  I really, really don't know what I would do if I wake up with a fever.

OK, so this blog post is more about my experience getting a shot rather than getting an offer for a vaccine hours before driving to get my vaccine.  Whatevs, man.

The Last Time

Get my first shot today.  Have to drive half an hour northwest from home, and the oil in the car is just about to be completely lifeless (at least according to the car), so I'm freaking out that my car will break down (because of the bad oil, but also because of other things) on the way there or on the way back.  But while I am paranoid that this very important event -- this might be one of the signature moments and days of my life, especially when it comes to, you know, my life -- I am looking forward to it.  This represents my punching a hole through the dirt that has buried me for over a year.  I can not only see the light at the end of the tunnel, I can now feel the warmth of the sun that will greet me at the end of it.  Provided I actually get up there in one piece, of course.

But just to make completely sure I test negative for COVID-19, and for old time's sake, I went back to the free testing clinic yesterday, one final time before I am forever defiled by the vaccine that will save my life.  You know, I'll tell you what: At first I hated this place because I preferred to be tested in a clinic, but people who actually knew what they were doing, like I had done, oh, three or four times.  This was the test where they shoved a big fat Q-tip up my nostril and twirled it there until you let out a heaping cough which, if you were positive for the coronavirus, would be a very, very bad thing to do.  It was the most precise test for COVID administered by professionals.  I would not want anything less.

But then they shortened their hours, and so I could no longer walk in and get these tests, and I was upset.  I had to lower my expectations and schlep on over to this place, in what used to be an event center, right next to a Chinese restaurant, and I would have to spit and spit and spit until I filled a line.  I still remember doing it the first time and being bleepin' stuck there for half an hour because, according to the helper, I had "frothy spit."

I had the same frothy spit this time, which may have been a consequence of eating Chipotle.  It wasn't half an hour after that disaster of a first time, but I wanted to get home to set myself up for my test scoring job (which, by the way, ended when we reported to start our evening only to be told there were no more tests to score; out of the projected 20 days allotted to the project, we worked only nine -- and we didn't work between last Thursday and Wednesday), so I was as frustrated at producing a sample as I was that first time.

And you know what?  I'll miss it.  I'll miss everything -- going there about once a week, seeing the people (probably temps, 18-year-olds sent to this place by a temp agency) donned in masks and face shields ask you, "Did you eat, drink, smoke or chew gum in the last 30 minutes?" the pull of the bottom of my mask to tuck that vial in, spinning that vial as I expectorate just because I would be too fidgety if I just held the thing, having to log into the testing company a second time because my phone timed out from spitting too long, shaking the sample with the turquoise preservative which was in a cap you had to twist into the vial in order to unlock it (which you would then see dripping into your spit, which you then would have to shake in order to mix the two together, which meant I had to put on my gloves because all of that was hard to do without gloves), tossing the package the vial came in in the big gray trash can with the black liner, throwing my sample in the bag, putting my hand under the sanitizer stand right by the exit, and leaving.  That ritual became a way to ground myself.  And every time I got an e-mail from that company saying it's been received, I would later (sometimes less than a day, sometimes closer to two, which would render the result kind of useless) get another e-mail, these subsequent e-mails awash in blue, saying my test was negative.  And that would justify me going all the way out to this abandoned event space and spending between ten and 30 minutes spitting.  Plus, the more negatives I got, the less and less fearful I was about walking into an indoor space where someone who has the virus would be testing him- or herself to see if he or she is in fact positive.

I still would have preferred a nursing assistant jabbing a cotton swab up my noise.  But the bottom line was I was proactive in proving to myself and to the world that I continually was negative, that I was doing the right thing in physically distancing myself from others as much as possible, that I was heeding the advice of the state government to wear masks ... that I was a good person.  I don't think going to get tested there was like a drug, but maybe.  I know that when I get the negative e-mail, I breathe a sigh of relief and then I think to myself that I am right in doing what I do ... and I go back there a week later.  To maintain or to get more positive feedback, or both.

Now, getting the vaccine would not result in a positive test.  Furthermore, it's possible to come down with the coronavirus even after you have received the vaccine, but assuming I nor any of the stripper whores I'm going to see in the next five weeks (because I'm going to start sowing my wild oats again) aren't being too reckless, I am going to assume that I will test negative because of the vaccine for at least the duration of the efficacy of the shots.  So, there's no need to go back there, at least till the winter if COVID-19 is making a comeback.  And that possibly means I have done this type of testing for the last time in my life.  It only started about three months ago, and yet it's kind of marked an important stage of my life.  How ... curious.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#0: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -1).  I am surprised that the volleyball season is over, even if the volleyball season isn't supposed to happen in the spring.  I think a usual season lasts three Months, so the Big Ten at least shaved a few Weeks off the 2020 (actually Spring 2021) Year.  But the Golden Gophers finished it with a clean (3-0 and 3-0) sweep of Iowa over the weekend at Maturi, a 15-2 conference and overall record, and the third overall seed in the slimmed-down (48 teams, not 64) NCAA Tournament, which will be bubbled in the volleyball hotbed of Omaha, Neb.  Considering the circumstances, which includes other teams in other conferences forging ahead and conducting their seasons in the fall, the result this season is not bad, and thus worthy of a status above negative numbers for this Week.  Also, I think that playing one fewer Match will help in greasing the club's way into another Final Four and a potential championship showdown/throwdown with Wisconsin, The Proverbial Queens Of The Hill.

The U. awaits the winner of the First Round (not a Play-In; this is a proper First Round, not like those fucking Play-In Games masquerading as the "First Four" [wanking motion] in men's college basketball) Game between Lipscomb and Georgia Tech (the latter school being the Gophers' opponent in I believe The Longest Women's Volleyball Tournament Game In History, a Match I was blessed to have attended). That match will be played Thursday evening.

#-1: Gopher soccer (Last Week: -2).  The Golden Gopher XI finish the should-have-been 2020 season with a 1-all Draw at Robbie versus Wisconsin Saturday afternoon.  Abi Frandsen equalized for the U. about 2 1/2 Minutes after the Badgers' Sophia Romine broke the seal of this Match early in the Second Half.  Minnesota finishes the Year 5-3-3, scoring only seven Goals and allowing eight.

For COVID-19 reasons, there isn't a usual B1G Tournament, whereby the top eight teams in the conference congregate at one of the schools and determine the automatic bid over a weekend.  But it looks as though the conference wanted to field some tournament after the regular season.  So, to balance coronavirus concerns while being fair to all the teams and giving all of them something to play for, the league came up with a ... well, it's a tournament, though they're not calling it such.

The 14 teams in the Big Ten (I feel stupid whenever I say that) were split into West and East Divisions -- like they are in football, except that this divisional format is not used in any other sport in the B1G.  (They shouldn't permanently cleave the teams like this, yet they should set up two Divisions in men's and women's basketball ... I should stop now).  The two Divisions were then divvied up into one three-team pod/bubble where the top team in each "Division" awaited the winner of the other two teams playing each other and one four-team pod/bubble which was hosted by the school that finished second in each respective "Division."  This is being done this weekend, which the league is calling "Big Ten Regional Weekend."  The four teams that come out of this will meet at the highest-remaining seed and compete in a smaller Big Ten Tournament next weekend in order to crown a champ.

I can't say it's going to plan.  The side, which is in Champaign, was supposed to face Nebraska last/Thursday night.  But it was declared a No-Contest because there are COVID concerns with the Cornhuskers.  That means Nebraska "loses," and so the Golden Gophers advance to face Iowa, which upset the host Illini in the tilt just before the Gophers were supposed to play.  They will play Sunday; the winner next plays, in all likelihood, Thursday.

#-2: Twins (Last Week: -6).  Alright, so it appears as though that blown Save Opening Day was not an omen of bad things to come.  They went 5-1 this screening Week, and they lost Tuesday's Game at Detroit in the Tenth Inning on a hit by former Twin farmhand Akil Baddoo.  Well, that is what I've been told; I don't remember a Twinks minor leaguer named Akil Baddoo.

Otherwise they won road series against The Bastard Seattle Pilots and the Tigers, and they opened up Target Field (with ... 3,000 fans [?]) yesterday/Thursday afternoon by quintupling the Seattle Mariners, 10-2.  The pitching staff has fully shed their reputation of "pitching to contact" and got on the same wavelength as all the other analytics-advanced organizations and found and developed hurlers who will strike batters out.  And judging by the rout of the Mariners, Monday's 15-6 win vs. the Tigers and Sunday's 8-2 victory over Milwaukee, the Offense is quickly getting up to speed.  So now it's win a postseason Game and get back to me.

This Week starts the Twins' home schedule.  They are off today/Friday, complete the series with the Mariners over the weekend, host Boston for four, then start a series in Anaheim against the Angels Friday.

#-3: Wild (Last Week: -5).  With the Wild now just about assured of a playoff spot (impressive considering experts believed the club would be fighting with the dregs of the pandemic-only West Division for the fourth and final playoff spot), they are now getting frisky as they prepare for the postseason.  In particular, the rivalry with The Bastard Quebec Nordiques has flickered back to life.  

The team hosted Colorado for two.  On Monday, the Bastard Nordiques ended the Wild's 11-Game winning streak at home.  Then on Wednesday, Minnesota ended their 14-Game Points-gaining streak.  And they did so emphatically -- 8-3, with Kevin Fiala trying to regain last Year's form by getting a hat trick.  Colorado currently leads the West; Minnesota is third.  (Las Vegas is between the two, and oh yeah, the Wild completed a two-Game sweep of the Golden Knights in Vegas by nipping them, 2-1, Saturday.)  If a clash happens in the Stanley Cup Playoffs, it might rekindle memories of Andrew Brunette beating Patrick Roy.

And by the way, if I haven't said this yet -- the Wild is a good team.  I hope it's reflected in the postseason, and I'll be very disappointed if they underachieve.  But they are overachieving right now, and the slow rebuild has accelerated this season.  All good things.

Out to St. Louis for a pair (Friday and Saturday), then they host the Blues on Monday, and then host The Bastard Winnipeg Jets Wednesday.

#-4: Gopher softball (Last Week: -3).  In the first series held at Cowles Stadium this Year, the softballers took three-of-four versus Purdue.  And it's a testament to the raised standards of the program that I cannot help but fixate on the loss, a 2-0 defeat in the back half of the Saturday Doubleheader where Ace (maybe Minnesota's only Starting Pitcher) Amber Fiser allowed two Hits, got screwed by a fielding Error, and got hung for two Runs (all in the top of the First Inning) that were more than enough for the Boilermakers.

The team currently is 15-5.  And I have no idea if that's good for this team, or whether this keeps them on track for an NCAA Tournament birth.  Might as well keep winning.  This weekend, however, will be a tall order: A four-Game series at Northwestern.

#-5: Gopher baseball (Last Week: -7).  Oof.  (I've been saying that a lot about this squad.)  Dropped two-of-three against Michigan St. at Siebert last weekend.  The lone victory, Saturday's 10-9 squeaker, broke a five-Game losing streak.  But these guys currently are 4-14.  I remember attending a Regional they hosted at Siebert not too long ago; it just seems like it's been long ago.  They're at Iowa for three this weekend.

#-6: Timberwolves (Last Week: -4).  A victory at home over Sacramento was the only bright spot; it was sandwiched by defeats on the road to Memphis, Philadelphia, and Indiana.  But without knowing any of the ebbs and flows of the other three contests, I want to hone in on the Wednesday loss to the Pacers.  I remember coming across the score in the middle of the Game, and the Woofie Dogs were down, big.  But they only lost by four, albeit 141-137, so it's not as if they buckled down on Defense.  They rallied to make it close, so ... is this progress under Chris Finch?  Maybe not, especially since Malik Beasley is now out four-to-six Weeks because of a bad hamstring.  This team can never be at 100%, even if the Timberwolves at 100% is like the Lakers being at 2%.

They play in Boston Friday before beginning a four-Game homestand, three of which fall under this Week: Chicago, Brooklyn, and Milwaukee.