OK, this is getting weirder and disconcerting. Just like her best friend, I have not been able to talk to Grandmother.
The last three or four times I have called long distance and tried to speak with Grandmother in Hong Kong, I was told by the person on the other end of the line (whether it's a family member or a nurse, I can't tell) said she was sleeping. The last time was Saturday night, where I wanted to call her and wish her a Happy Chinese New Year. But she was sleeping then, too, at least according to the man I spoke with (maybe it was her son). I have called when Grandmother has been sleeping, but never three times in a row. Has there been a downturn in her health? Are they hiding something from me?
This is what really scares me about trying to keep in touch with someone living halfway around the world. I want to visit her in case I won't be able to see her ever again, but finding a ticket is expensive. I am mentally facing other obstacles that may be of my own making. For example, I haven't spoken about my wishes to visit Grandmother to my parents. I'm scared that they don't want me to go; despite Grandmother raising them and then raising us, there may be an enmity from them towards her the depths of which I still can't fathom. I also fear that leaving the country for a while (I spoke with a guy in my meeting who recommends two weeks; I thought about a week, though really, three or four days in HKG would totally be OK with me) gives My Father permission to ask if I'm going back to school or if I am looking for a real job. I don't want to deal with those stupid questions. Also, he might start to scrutinize how -- or even if -- I could leave and then come back to a temp job (which they know this is).
In such a case, I would be afraid they could tell I am seeing her because I had time, and that is because I indeed lost my job. But there has been a complication. After feverishly going through the online want ads last night, I was told by one of my supervisors here a few hours ago that she wants me to stick around for about a month more ... but part-time.
I took it. I like working here and I want to show my appreciation of working here (with the eventual hopes of landing a permanent job here ... maybe?) by taking them up on their offer, even though there may be other full-time (though temporary) work that'll bring in bigger paychecks. Also, it'll alleviate my fears of flailing about for another job. Now, the paychecks I will get will be half as much as before, so I should cut down on my expenses; no regular mochas or lunch, for example. Potentially more troubling, this extension now pushes any potential trip I can make to see Grandmother into March, where things get really busy for me. There are hockey tournament games I want to attend. There is an alumni event that I have to be here for. And then there's my birthday. Finally, although pushing out the date of my trip theoretically means trips will be cheaper, from what I have seen, prices are at its cheapest in February, regardless of when you book.
I did mention my wish to see Grandmother to my supervisor, and she understood. Nevertheless, I told her I would take this extension. I really hope I don't regret it. In the meantime, I have to wish Grandmother a Happy Chinese New Year, so after this seminar at the U. tonight, I will try and call her again. And I hope to Buddha that I can hear her voice, and she is clear, and cogent, and strong, so I can feel as though I have the time to see her a month later than I initially wanted to. Please, give me that.
Tuesday, January 31, 2017
I Became What I Despise
So, remember when I bitched about walking into a bathroom stall to shit in peace only to hear a guy immediately enter the stall right next to me? Well, yesterday I did the same thing to a guy. I felt the need to defecate, and I went down two floors. The bathroom with just one stall was occupied, so I went to the other one, the one with three stalls, and goddammit, the middle one was being used. But I had to go, and so I snuck into the one to the right of the guy -- just like the guy did to me last week. Well, he immediately went into the stall after me, whereas I went in well after this guy took a shit. But still, I became what I despise.
Monday, January 30, 2017
Sleeping In The Evening
I've noticed lately (the past couple weeks? This week? The past month?) that I have taken long and deep naps in the evening. I come home from work, eat, then shack up in my bed and nap from, say, 6:30 or 7:30 till 10 or 11. The naps I've taken lately have been really satisfying. Unfortunately, that means I've stayed up for much of the overnight, and when I go back to bed I can only stay unconscious for a short amount of time, making me pretty tired for work.
But hey, evening naps!
Wonder how that will change once I'm thrown back on the street next week.
But hey, evening naps!
Wonder how that will change once I'm thrown back on the street next week.
Sunday, January 29, 2017
The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey
Positive Numbers: Wild (Last Week: -1). Before the All-Star Break this weekend the Wild had a 2-1 week. They lost at home to Nashville on Sunday, but outlasted The Team That Was Stolen From Us in Dallas Tuesday and routed St. Louis (a team that, according to reports, quit on Head Coach Ken Hitchcock in the Third Period) at the X Thursday. No, it's not perfect. But look at the standings. They have the best record in the Western Conference and the second-best record in the National Hockey League heading into the break. I don't remember if they've ever reached such heights in franchise history before. So even though it wasn't a perfect screening week, their current lofty position more than merits a Positive Numbers.
I don't even know which team members are in the ASG. I know that Bruce Boudreau is coaching a team. Is Ryan Suter in Los Angeles too? Don't know, doesn't really matter.
The team better be careful; out of the break they have a four-game road trip through Western Canada. This week they'll go to finally-good Edmonton, Calgary and Vancouver.
#0: Timberwolves (Last Week: -3). Hmmm, another week where the pro teams are outplaying the college ones? A 3-1 screening week. Sure, they should have beaten Indiana at home Thursday. But in a week where their opponents were imminently beatable, they squeaked by Denver at home (by three points) and the Suns in Phoenix (by one, comeback-style), and crushed Brooklyn, the worst team in the National Basketball Association, at Target by 20. It could be the lull of the middle of the long regular season or the level of competition, but maybe, just maybe, this young but talented team has finally turned the corner.
They have another action-packed week. Home to Orlando (where potential trade candidate Nicola Vujecic is playing), at Cleveland, then at Detroit followed by home vs. Memphis on back-to-back dates.
#-1: Gopher wrestling (Last Week: -4). The big news for this club isn't their 28-9 dismantling at Indiana, although a win's better than a loss. As a result of some behind-the-scenes deliberation, former U. great Brandon Eggum had his interim tag ripped off of him and becomes the eighth Head Coach in the U.'s history. I really don't know what convinced Athletic Director Mark Coyle of this decision. Was it their 34-3 pounding at the hands of Oklahoma St. at the Sports Pavilion, or was it the 33-6 shit-kicking they took at the hands of Penn St., also at the Pav, or was it them losing 21-11 to also-ran Nebraska, also at the Pav? (sigh)
From now till the end of the season, they only play on Sunday. This afternoon they are at Purdue.
#-2: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -2). I attended the final day of the North Star College Cup, which was the final, final day of the North Star College Cup. In news that blindsided me on website College Hockey News during the week, it was decided that this year would be its last-ever iteration and that they were pulling the plug.
Those in charge of this tournament, which invited four of the five top-flight college hockey programs in Minnesota to play at the Xcel Energy Center over two days, were candid for their reasons to putting down the NSCC. There wasn't enough fan interest to sustain the tourney, especially when it comes at a time in the schedule when they could use a weekend to schedule a conference opponent, especially one at their respective rinks.
I got to the consolation game between the U. and Bemidji St. midway through the First Period (I was just too tired from exercising to immediately go), and the crowd was, at most, half-full. That confirms the lack of fan appeal that went into the decision to euthanize this tournament. I think officials dreamed that the NSCC would turn into Minnesota's version of the Beanpot, where four Boston-area teams play over the first and second Monday in February in their own local tournament. I know that is immensely popular, and they wanted to replicate that here. After all, this is the self-described State Of Hockey. However, with the Beanpot you are talking about four schools from the same city. For the North Star College Cup, you have to draw crowds from Duluth, St. Cloud, Mankato and Bemidji (at least theoretically; maybe the NSCC was banking on alumni from the four outstate schools living in the Twin Cities to fill up the X). Also, the Beanpot began way back in 1952, so it's had half a century to build up a tradition.
And yet, I am sad. This is perfect as a concept. And while I understand this is a business decision, maybe with 50 years of doing this annually, maybe the NSCC would become a big deal. This feels like too good of an idea to just let die. Maybe they need to reschedule it for the workweek, or maybe earlier in the season. In the meantime, maybe the five schools can all agree on keeping this trophy a thing. One idea: Starting next year, the team holding the trophy must put it up in every single game they play against a fellow Minnesota school, regular and postseason. Winner gets the trophy. So if, say, Minnesota-Duluth (which beat St. Cloud St. in Overtime last night to win the "final" NSCC) schedules a series vs. MSU-Mankato (the only one of the five programs not to win the Cup over the series four-year lifespan), and the Mavericks win the first game, they get the North Star College Cup. Then, in the next game, if the Bulldogs win, they get right back. Rinse and repeat, presumably forever. Hey, it's better than this thing being stored in the UMD storage room forever.
Oh yeah, the Gophers ... for their semifinal against second-ranked UMD Friday, Brent Gates, Jr. scored on the Power Play five minutes in ... then the Goofers gave up three goals before losing 3-2. They came back the next night (last night) to blank Bemidji St. (whom I'm surprised is ranked) 4-0. For the record, Minnesota won the first NSCC in 2014, the Beavers won it the next year, and the Huskies won it last year. The U. lost a huge chance to get a leg up on the PairWise, but beating a ranked team below them isn't bad.
Apparently January must be for conference play only (although with the crowds I've seen lately, the Gopher faithful ain't so hot on the Big Ten conference either), and next week they'll be back in the warm and safe space of the B1G. It's a big one -- they host the team that's ahead of them in the standings ... Penn St.?!?!?! The Nittany Lions are now the class of the league? They're ranked fourth in the nation. Hell, last week USCHO ranked them first in the nation!!!
#-3: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -5). In case anyone is paying attention, I think it's about time we buried the Minnesota women's b-ball program. A 12-point defeat to then-#15 Ohio St. Thursday in The Barn now puts them 2-6 in the conference and 11-10 overall. We have to start looking at Marlene Stollings's acumen to recruit, because after Carlie Wagner (who poured in 34 against the Buckeyes but, if I recall correctly, was recruited by predecessor Pam Borton), they have no players. Period. No WNIT, not even the WBI, nuthin'.
Monday comes the annual Pink Game at Williams; in attendance is Stollings's mother, who has beaten cancer. They willlose to play Michigan St. On Saturday they visit Nebraska.
#-4: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -6). As their vagina-filled sistren fall out of postseason consideration entirely, the male basketball team is free-falling through projections for the only postseason tournament that counts. Their losing streak is now at five after gut-check defeats at Ohio St. and home to Maryland. They had leads in both and couldn't finish; even though they have frontcourt size and length, their inability to pull through may be a combination of youth and coaching. So now, Joe Lunardi of ESPN.com has the Gophers as an 8-seed ... and slipping.
They only saving grace is that they have a week off. Unfortunately, their next game, Saturday, will be at Illinois, another game they could certainly lose.
I don't even know which team members are in the ASG. I know that Bruce Boudreau is coaching a team. Is Ryan Suter in Los Angeles too? Don't know, doesn't really matter.
The team better be careful; out of the break they have a four-game road trip through Western Canada. This week they'll go to finally-good Edmonton, Calgary and Vancouver.
#0: Timberwolves (Last Week: -3). Hmmm, another week where the pro teams are outplaying the college ones? A 3-1 screening week. Sure, they should have beaten Indiana at home Thursday. But in a week where their opponents were imminently beatable, they squeaked by Denver at home (by three points) and the Suns in Phoenix (by one, comeback-style), and crushed Brooklyn, the worst team in the National Basketball Association, at Target by 20. It could be the lull of the middle of the long regular season or the level of competition, but maybe, just maybe, this young but talented team has finally turned the corner.
They have another action-packed week. Home to Orlando (where potential trade candidate Nicola Vujecic is playing), at Cleveland, then at Detroit followed by home vs. Memphis on back-to-back dates.
#-1: Gopher wrestling (Last Week: -4). The big news for this club isn't their 28-9 dismantling at Indiana, although a win's better than a loss. As a result of some behind-the-scenes deliberation, former U. great Brandon Eggum had his interim tag ripped off of him and becomes the eighth Head Coach in the U.'s history. I really don't know what convinced Athletic Director Mark Coyle of this decision. Was it their 34-3 pounding at the hands of Oklahoma St. at the Sports Pavilion, or was it the 33-6 shit-kicking they took at the hands of Penn St., also at the Pav, or was it them losing 21-11 to also-ran Nebraska, also at the Pav? (sigh)
From now till the end of the season, they only play on Sunday. This afternoon they are at Purdue.
#-2: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -2). I attended the final day of the North Star College Cup, which was the final, final day of the North Star College Cup. In news that blindsided me on website College Hockey News during the week, it was decided that this year would be its last-ever iteration and that they were pulling the plug.
Those in charge of this tournament, which invited four of the five top-flight college hockey programs in Minnesota to play at the Xcel Energy Center over two days, were candid for their reasons to putting down the NSCC. There wasn't enough fan interest to sustain the tourney, especially when it comes at a time in the schedule when they could use a weekend to schedule a conference opponent, especially one at their respective rinks.
I got to the consolation game between the U. and Bemidji St. midway through the First Period (I was just too tired from exercising to immediately go), and the crowd was, at most, half-full. That confirms the lack of fan appeal that went into the decision to euthanize this tournament. I think officials dreamed that the NSCC would turn into Minnesota's version of the Beanpot, where four Boston-area teams play over the first and second Monday in February in their own local tournament. I know that is immensely popular, and they wanted to replicate that here. After all, this is the self-described State Of Hockey. However, with the Beanpot you are talking about four schools from the same city. For the North Star College Cup, you have to draw crowds from Duluth, St. Cloud, Mankato and Bemidji (at least theoretically; maybe the NSCC was banking on alumni from the four outstate schools living in the Twin Cities to fill up the X). Also, the Beanpot began way back in 1952, so it's had half a century to build up a tradition.
And yet, I am sad. This is perfect as a concept. And while I understand this is a business decision, maybe with 50 years of doing this annually, maybe the NSCC would become a big deal. This feels like too good of an idea to just let die. Maybe they need to reschedule it for the workweek, or maybe earlier in the season. In the meantime, maybe the five schools can all agree on keeping this trophy a thing. One idea: Starting next year, the team holding the trophy must put it up in every single game they play against a fellow Minnesota school, regular and postseason. Winner gets the trophy. So if, say, Minnesota-Duluth (which beat St. Cloud St. in Overtime last night to win the "final" NSCC) schedules a series vs. MSU-Mankato (the only one of the five programs not to win the Cup over the series four-year lifespan), and the Mavericks win the first game, they get the North Star College Cup. Then, in the next game, if the Bulldogs win, they get right back. Rinse and repeat, presumably forever. Hey, it's better than this thing being stored in the UMD storage room forever.
Oh yeah, the Gophers ... for their semifinal against second-ranked UMD Friday, Brent Gates, Jr. scored on the Power Play five minutes in ... then the Goofers gave up three goals before losing 3-2. They came back the next night (last night) to blank Bemidji St. (whom I'm surprised is ranked) 4-0. For the record, Minnesota won the first NSCC in 2014, the Beavers won it the next year, and the Huskies won it last year. The U. lost a huge chance to get a leg up on the PairWise, but beating a ranked team below them isn't bad.
Apparently January must be for conference play only (although with the crowds I've seen lately, the Gopher faithful ain't so hot on the Big Ten conference either), and next week they'll be back in the warm and safe space of the B1G. It's a big one -- they host the team that's ahead of them in the standings ... Penn St.?!?!?! The Nittany Lions are now the class of the league? They're ranked fourth in the nation. Hell, last week USCHO ranked them first in the nation!!!
#-3: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -5). In case anyone is paying attention, I think it's about time we buried the Minnesota women's b-ball program. A 12-point defeat to then-#15 Ohio St. Thursday in The Barn now puts them 2-6 in the conference and 11-10 overall. We have to start looking at Marlene Stollings's acumen to recruit, because after Carlie Wagner (who poured in 34 against the Buckeyes but, if I recall correctly, was recruited by predecessor Pam Borton), they have no players. Period. No WNIT, not even the WBI, nuthin'.
Monday comes the annual Pink Game at Williams; in attendance is Stollings's mother, who has beaten cancer. They will
#-4: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -6). As their vagina-filled sistren fall out of postseason consideration entirely, the male basketball team is free-falling through projections for the only postseason tournament that counts. Their losing streak is now at five after gut-check defeats at Ohio St. and home to Maryland. They had leads in both and couldn't finish; even though they have frontcourt size and length, their inability to pull through may be a combination of youth and coaching. So now, Joe Lunardi of ESPN.com has the Gophers as an 8-seed ... and slipping.
They only saving grace is that they have a week off. Unfortunately, their next game, Saturday, will be at Illinois, another game they could certainly lose.
Saturday, January 28, 2017
Where Did She Go?
Happy Chinese New Year's, everyone.
---
Sunday I finally had the time to visit Grandmother's best friend in the nursing home close by me. I don't see her as often as being in close proximity to her would lend one to think I would. I could say the same thing about my aunt and uncle, and it is Chinese New Year's, where it would be traditional to visit them, but I only plan on calling and texting. What I'm saying is I'm an asshole.
Anyway, I walk inbetween the double doors, and I was about to turn on the intercom. You know, it's one of those things where you look at the board to see the room number of the person you're looking for, and you punch it in. I have seen her maybe three, four times since she was shipped here, so I never remembered her number. And I look at the board ... and her name isn't there.
The last time I saw her was, maybe, in the fall. Or was it in the summer? Crap, I don't remember. And as of now I am totally filled with regret for not visiting her more often.
She was the one Grandmother took my brother and I to to get our hair cut when we were young. She was short and energetic, and she had this really high voice. Her hair was always coiffed, of course, and she always had make-up on, so even though she was not of stature, she conducted herself well. I was bored spending time waiting around at her hair salon while she did Grandmother's hair and nails. She tried bringing in a black-and-white TV, but that didn't work. So, we just spent time waiting around. That was OK, I guess, until I got older and started getting my hair cut at other places.
I think their friendship changed as they got older. She still cut Grandmother's hair for a while, but then their relationship centered around gambling. Later, when her husband died and her townhome got too big for her, she moved to this nursing home. It was around this time Grandmother was taken out of the house. After that, they couldn't speak to each other because Grandmother lived in St. Paul and wasn't given a phone. When Grandmother was shipped to Hong Kong, I tried to keep in touch with her friend by visiting her on occasion, but I wondered if I should have visited her more often. We didn't have a whole lot we could talk about, but I wasn't really a respectable kid around her when she did my hair, and I wanted to make it up to her.
But, well, I don't know if I did a good job of making it up to her, since it's been maybe months since she apparently was taken from this home. Or ... has she died? She didn't seem to be of failing health the last time I saw her, but if that's the case, I don't know why she would leave there, although she did say that her stepchildren had complained it was kind of expensive for her to live there.
What compounds my guilt is that I haven't yet called anyone there to ask her whereabouts. I don't think I want to know.
---
Sunday I finally had the time to visit Grandmother's best friend in the nursing home close by me. I don't see her as often as being in close proximity to her would lend one to think I would. I could say the same thing about my aunt and uncle, and it is Chinese New Year's, where it would be traditional to visit them, but I only plan on calling and texting. What I'm saying is I'm an asshole.
Anyway, I walk inbetween the double doors, and I was about to turn on the intercom. You know, it's one of those things where you look at the board to see the room number of the person you're looking for, and you punch it in. I have seen her maybe three, four times since she was shipped here, so I never remembered her number. And I look at the board ... and her name isn't there.
The last time I saw her was, maybe, in the fall. Or was it in the summer? Crap, I don't remember. And as of now I am totally filled with regret for not visiting her more often.
She was the one Grandmother took my brother and I to to get our hair cut when we were young. She was short and energetic, and she had this really high voice. Her hair was always coiffed, of course, and she always had make-up on, so even though she was not of stature, she conducted herself well. I was bored spending time waiting around at her hair salon while she did Grandmother's hair and nails. She tried bringing in a black-and-white TV, but that didn't work. So, we just spent time waiting around. That was OK, I guess, until I got older and started getting my hair cut at other places.
I think their friendship changed as they got older. She still cut Grandmother's hair for a while, but then their relationship centered around gambling. Later, when her husband died and her townhome got too big for her, she moved to this nursing home. It was around this time Grandmother was taken out of the house. After that, they couldn't speak to each other because Grandmother lived in St. Paul and wasn't given a phone. When Grandmother was shipped to Hong Kong, I tried to keep in touch with her friend by visiting her on occasion, but I wondered if I should have visited her more often. We didn't have a whole lot we could talk about, but I wasn't really a respectable kid around her when she did my hair, and I wanted to make it up to her.
But, well, I don't know if I did a good job of making it up to her, since it's been maybe months since she apparently was taken from this home. Or ... has she died? She didn't seem to be of failing health the last time I saw her, but if that's the case, I don't know why she would leave there, although she did say that her stepchildren had complained it was kind of expensive for her to live there.
What compounds my guilt is that I haven't yet called anyone there to ask her whereabouts. I don't think I want to know.
Friday, January 27, 2017
Expenses Without Receipts
Starting from Thursday, January 26:
- I thought I was going to charge everything on the 26th after paying more than a dozen bucks on lunch, even though I shouldn't after seeing my credit card statement, even though the barbecue chicken and mac-and-cheese was pretty damn good. But then I went and bought a mocha at the commissary in the afternoon with cash just now. Forgetful me. Now I have to both charge something and buy something with cash, or at least get some money at the ATM. Yeah, maybe I'll do that after work. Anyway, I just forgot if I put the change in the donation box. Shit ... uh, I don't think I did. Total: $3.65.
- So I did go to the ATM to pick up cash ... and the damn thing ran out of paper, so I don't have a receipt for it. I was at the bank; how in the hell does that happen? So, for I think the first time ever, I am putting down an Infusion for money I pulled out of my bank account: $60.
- On Wednesday the 25th I ordered the same mocha and for sure I did not put anything into the donation box: $3.65.
- I told my parents I wasn't going home to eat that night. I was going to go see this play in St. Paul, Big Money, about the guy who gamed Press Your Luck. But a lot of things converged to dissuade me from going. First, I was told I was going to lose my job. Then, I saw a negative review on the Star Tribune. Then, I remembered that I would have to take the light rail into St. Paul, and after the show I would have to wait a while to get the LRT back to my car at the strip mall. Finally, I developed this strong pain in my stomach. I liken it to IBS, which I think I get from time to time. I felt too uncomfortable going to Big Money, even though I saw on Facebook that a friend was going that night too, and so I thought to buy dinner, a fat and greasy dinner, which usually cures me of these types of pangs. So I went to this place close to home called Bark and the Bite, a well-regarded BBQ in a convenience store (which makes this place sound even more authentic). Looked around and saw that the dry-rub wings and the hush puppies came most recommended. Guess what? They're right. Have a receipt for the meal, but I tipped them in cash: $1.
- And I thought it was a good idea to take this take-out to a craft brewery place even closer to home called Free State Brewery. You can bring food into this place. Had hesitations about going here on a Wednesday night because it was Trivia Night, but it was all well and good. Wasn't asked to join, and that was good, because I didn't get any of the answers. Had their Bricoleur #3, which was really good, even if it didn't exactly pair with wings and hush puppies. And then, as I got done with my meal, I realized that the IBS pain in my stomach was completely gone! The half-glass of Bricoleur plus tip came out to: $5.
- Tuesday the 24th ... mocha at the work cafeteria, and this time I did put the change in the donation box: $4.
- I signed up for a three-week seminar the University of Minnesota whose theme is bioethics. This first session was about monopolies in the pharmaceutical industry. I didn't learn anything incredibly knew, yet the more diabolical information about drug companies the speaker (a professor at the U.) gave me, the angrier I got. Anyway, I went to My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Version) for the first time in a long time. Got a lapdance from Giselle, paid *a***'s drink, got coffee for myself and tipped a few of the girls. Total: $35.75.
- On Monday, January 23 I had a mocha at work, sans donation: $3.65.
- After dinner at home I thought I should go to the library and work on these invoices Mother wanted me to do. Thought I would have time before going to the show on Wednesday, but Monday was the day I heard the news of my imminent firing, so I wanted time out to myself Monday. Had 11 printouts, so the total was: $1.10.
- To Sunday the 22nd -- for the first time in a long time I went to the Caribou closest to me. Saw one familiar face there. Things seem the same as they were the last time I was there, which is good, considering I will be going back there often very, very soon. Caribou was running a special where any sized coffee would go for $1.50 so long as you also bought a sandwich, so I bought the cheapest one. With tip and minus trivia answer the cost came out to: $4.25.
- On Saturday the 21st I joined my first-ever protest march, the Women's March Minnesota. It was really nice to see so many people (between 90,000 and 100,000) who feel both scared and angered at the way some parts of the country have installed this presidency (along with the help of Russia and voter suppression, of course) to see that we're not alone. Not at all. And all it cost me was a round-trip ticket on the light-rail: $1.75.
- Friday, January 20 -- mocha at work. With donation: $4.
- Going back to Tuesday the 17th, when I didn't come home for dinner because I went to get my car serviced instead. It had been some time since I had been to My Favorite Late-Night Italian Place, and with that "For Sale" sign up I am scared that I won't have too many times before the eatery shuts down for good. But things on this night were the same as they've always been, Buddah bless it. Used a coupon for fettuccine alfredo. With Coke and tip: $11.75.
- On Sunday the 15th I went to Caffetto in the morning to work on stuff. Large hot chocolate, tip: $4.10.
- Went to exercise in the afternoon and there I was able to do something I hadn't done in a long time: Go to the concessions area in the rink next door and order food, specifically a hot dog. Wasn't really hungry, I just wanted to get something from over there. Just a hot dog, and the change I put into the donation box, which helps out the local hockey club. Total: $3.
- To Saturday, January 14, where I got around to washing my car. Have a receipt for the wash; paid cash for the tip: $3.
- That afternoon I went to the Blue Sun Soda Shop because they were opening up tours of their cola bottling line. It was exciting to see this store in a strip mall in a nondescript suburb of town just bubbling with life. It has to be fun to be working at a place where what you're selling brings a smile to peoples' faces. (May not pay a whole lot, but that shouldn't be the point ... right?) Brought in my very old Whistler Cola bottle for a deposit on a new bottle, drank that, then returned that as I ordered a second one, which, as of press time, is still in the refrigerator at home. Total: $2.12.
- Friday the 13th ... mocha at work. With donation: $4.
- First time in a long time I went to a stripper party. Luckily this is pretty close to home, although this party charges $20 cover, ugh. Well, at least *a*** was there to suck my dick. That's why I bought her drink the next time I saw her. Felt bad that I didn't stay long enough to get a dance from the host, Nikki, but I got a $20 lapper from birthday girl Barbi. All told the damage for the good time was: $160.
- Celebrated by going to the old Glam Doll for donuts and coffee. With tip: $9.02.
Thursday, January 26, 2017
I'll be honest with you -- I'm kind of depressed. I'm at work, am done with all my duties for now, just ate barbecue chicken and macaroni-and-cheese and have been surfing on the Internet since my meeting went long. But knowing I have at most two weeks before I'm back on the unemployment line, with nothing lined up (not even vacation plans) has me anxious and fearful for the future.
Right now I'm acting out through politics. I've decided I need to be "woke" and begin to really bitch about Trump and all the bigoted, selfish and stupid decisions he and the racist Republicans that control our government are beginning to enact. Some of my dumb Facebook friends have resorted to insults; others to dumb questions. Fighting back may be the only worthwhile thing I can do right now.
Back to surfing and finding out information about the government that'll piss me off.
Right now I'm acting out through politics. I've decided I need to be "woke" and begin to really bitch about Trump and all the bigoted, selfish and stupid decisions he and the racist Republicans that control our government are beginning to enact. Some of my dumb Facebook friends have resorted to insults; others to dumb questions. Fighting back may be the only worthwhile thing I can do right now.
Back to surfing and finding out information about the government that'll piss me off.
Wednesday, January 25, 2017
My Hand/Wrist/Forearm/Elbow/Arm
For the past few weeks I have felt tremendous pain in my arm. It's mostly in the elbow, but I have pain whenever I have moved the parts of my arm, and not just at work.
I knew this pain (or at least this new pain) started when I had an intense period at work where I had to go through and check and manually correct the information for all these health insurance packages, especially the wrist and the elbow. But, even though that intense period ended a few weeks ago, it seemed to flare up away from work. I think I remember that I stooped down to pick up something from my bedroom floor and felt this "ouch!" pain when I grasped it. And all parts of my arm now hurt whatever I do -- writing, using the remote control, even walking.
It's gotten to be pretty serious, but yet, in the past couple days (after I wanted to talk about this, but I never got around to it) it's gotten markedly better. Some pain, but not the throbbing pain it was at its worst. Don't know what happened besides some solid rest I had this morning. So, well, there it is.
I knew this pain (or at least this new pain) started when I had an intense period at work where I had to go through and check and manually correct the information for all these health insurance packages, especially the wrist and the elbow. But, even though that intense period ended a few weeks ago, it seemed to flare up away from work. I think I remember that I stooped down to pick up something from my bedroom floor and felt this "ouch!" pain when I grasped it. And all parts of my arm now hurt whatever I do -- writing, using the remote control, even walking.
It's gotten to be pretty serious, but yet, in the past couple days (after I wanted to talk about this, but I never got around to it) it's gotten markedly better. Some pain, but not the throbbing pain it was at its worst. Don't know what happened besides some solid rest I had this morning. So, well, there it is.
Tuesday, January 24, 2017
No, I'm Not Taking This Well
Well, the ax came down late Monday afternoon. My boss came in, apologized for being unavailable, reminded both of us that he'll be out of the office the rest of the week ... then said we are going to be fired next week.
Great.
For the record, this is two weeks before I got cut last season. Since New Year's last season began we didn't do much, leading me to speculate that we would be let go because there wasn't any work for us. Well, my boss admitted yesterday that the reason we were being let go relatively soon was because there is no more work for us.
Like I said, great.
I knew this day would come, and yet I am still shellshocked by how he told us and the oncoming date of execution. I'm not prepared for this -- WHAT DO I DO?!?!?!
This has totally changed my plans while at the same time forced me to make new ones. As soon as Monday I might have to find work. This totally crimps my checking account. I can't build on it, so I was looking at everything around and thinking, "I can't buy that!" At the same time I have started to cobble together a potential quick trip to Hong Kong to see Grandmother; prices might still be cheap for the month of February, and who knows how long she has left.
Worst of all, I have to go back to the charade again of working when I'm really not. I'll get up around the same time, I'll go drink coffee and hang out for a few hours, then I'll go get lunch, then go to the library for a couple hours, find a Park-and-Ride to sleep for an hour, then spend the rest of the afternoon working out. I'll be doing that five days a week until I find work again. I used to like the time off. Now, it's getting to be pretty fucking boring, and harder to hide from The 'Rents, too.
So it's fair to say that I'm not taking this well. Oh, and I'll have to go back on the dole and hope my folks don't find out (sigh)
Great.
For the record, this is two weeks before I got cut last season. Since New Year's last season began we didn't do much, leading me to speculate that we would be let go because there wasn't any work for us. Well, my boss admitted yesterday that the reason we were being let go relatively soon was because there is no more work for us.
Like I said, great.
I knew this day would come, and yet I am still shellshocked by how he told us and the oncoming date of execution. I'm not prepared for this -- WHAT DO I DO?!?!?!
This has totally changed my plans while at the same time forced me to make new ones. As soon as Monday I might have to find work. This totally crimps my checking account. I can't build on it, so I was looking at everything around and thinking, "I can't buy that!" At the same time I have started to cobble together a potential quick trip to Hong Kong to see Grandmother; prices might still be cheap for the month of February, and who knows how long she has left.
Worst of all, I have to go back to the charade again of working when I'm really not. I'll get up around the same time, I'll go drink coffee and hang out for a few hours, then I'll go get lunch, then go to the library for a couple hours, find a Park-and-Ride to sleep for an hour, then spend the rest of the afternoon working out. I'll be doing that five days a week until I find work again. I used to like the time off. Now, it's getting to be pretty fucking boring, and harder to hide from The 'Rents, too.
So it's fair to say that I'm not taking this well. Oh, and I'll have to go back on the dole and hope my folks don't find out (sigh)
Monday, January 23, 2017
Just wanna complain that I went down two floors to try and take a shit in peace, but as soon as I entered the stall, some asshole entered the stall right next to me. Hideous. I was trying to wait him out, but it seems as though he didn't give a shit about my privacy, so after shitting I got up and left him.
There's another bathroom that has only one stall. I don't go there around lunchtime because I don't like hearing people going into the bathroom and then walking out after seeing my feet. But right now, that sounds better than hearing strangers fart and poop right next to me. Christ.
There's another bathroom that has only one stall. I don't go there around lunchtime because I don't like hearing people going into the bathroom and then walking out after seeing my feet. But right now, that sounds better than hearing strangers fart and poop right next to me. Christ.
Sunday, January 22, 2017
The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey
#-1: Wild (Last Week: 0). Saturday was Hockey Day In Minnesota. (It was also Women's March Day, and I'm glad I attended, even though I had to wait for the next light rail because the family of a woman who was in front of me at the ticket machine cut in front of me, and then this idiot woman didn't know how to stick the credit card in the machine correctly, and by the time I got my ticket, the doors to the train were closed, but yes, we're trying to keep this protest movement light and positive.) By most accounts it was a good and successful day for fall. Most but not all, and not by the most important account: Wins.
The Golden Gopher men's hockey team lost. The Golden Gopher women's hockey team lost. (And by the way, the way their season is headed, they'll be back on the WMNSS next season.) In fact, if you expand HDM to all Twin Cities games played on Saturday, it is, so far, the most miserable day in local sports because the Golden Gopher men's and women's basketball teams also lost. It would have been a complete wipeout if not for the Wild, who had to come back from a 3-2 deficit to beat Anaheim at the X. And come back they did: Erik Haula, Ryan Suter and Jason Zucker scored three goals within a 1:59 span late in the third to spirit away the win.
It was a good week for the squad. It started by beating Chicago in Chicago in the nationally-televised Sunday Night game and it includes a 4-3 win over The Bastard Winnipeg Jets. On Tuesday they had a sizable lead on the Bastard Kansas City Scouts at home and somehow choked out a 4-3 loss by allowing two goals in almost back-to-back fashion. Still, that was only their, what, third loss since early December? This team's rolling now. The only major blip is that Jonas Brodin has a fractured finger and will be out at least a month. It is the sole injury on a club that has been blissfully free of them. I am now have just jinxed them.
They're right back at it tonight, hosting Nashville. They then travel Tuesday to play The Team That Was Stolen From Us before coming right back home to face St. Louis Thursday.
#-2: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -1). What I have learned intrinsically as a man who grew up in hockey country is that in College Hockey Nation, the world is flat. There is never any talk of whether a team can run the table and go undefeated for the season. I don't think it's ever happened, and I don't think it's even close. The top-ranked team in the nation loses all the time, sometimes in the first game after they reach #1, sometimes to a horrible team. You may call that parity, and you may grumble about it. I love the randomness, the ... sameness that top-flight college hockey seems from afar when you get into this part of the year and teams are just beating each other up.
Yes, there are still a lot of grumblings that Minnesota should be, and should have been, a much better squad/program than they're playing like now. A 5-3 loss at piss-poor Wisconsin isn't good, and although they did beat the Badgers Friday, they lost leads twice and had to get a lucky pass to Justin Kloos to pull it out in Overtime. But they will still be ranked and I think they will still be in NCAA Tournament inclusion in the PairWise. They're not in a tailspin, unlike another sport in Dinkytown, which you'll see at the bottom of this survey.
The club takes a break from Big Ten play as the 4th Annual North Star College Cup is next weekend. This will be the last time the Gophers can clip non-conference chits for the PairWise, but in years past the losses they've accrued here weighted down that score to the point they were left off the tourney. They have a big chance to boost their resume Friday because they draw Minnesota-Duluth. The U. then plays either Bemidji St. or St. Cloud St. the following day.
#-3: Timberwolves (Last Week: Positive Numbers). Well, the Timberpups' winning streak last week couldn't last, and it didn't, going down in flames Sunday at Dallas. That was followed by a similar grinding down in San Antonio. But at least they came back from a deficit and secured a 104-101 victory over The Bastard Buffalo Braves at Staples. Sure, the Clippers were without Chris Paul, but a good team takes advantage of that, and this team did.
This week they play every other day. They host Denver, Indiana and Brooklyn, although in the middle of all this they have to play at Phoenix, for some reason.
#-4: Gopher wrestling (Re-Entry!). I was exercising Friday night. I stumbled upon the Big Ten Network, which was broadcasting, of all things, wrestling. Since the conference never play college basketball games on Fridays (at least not men's games), Friday (and Sunday for that matter) are prime times to dedicate to a non-revenue sport. Wrestling would be good, but I don't know if they schedule a dual every Friday night. Whether it is wrestling, or hockey (they need to start airing more of those games; after all, they rearranged top-flight college hockey just to create a conference) or women's b-ball, they need to start broadcasting something regularly then.
OK, I went off on a tangent. Anyway, Penn St. and Iowa were playing. (Guessing the Nittany Lions won. They'll win the NCAA title this year too.) They run a crawl during action, and it's wrestling-related. The rankings were listed, and Minnesota is still ranked ... but are the sixth-best team in the B1G.
Sixth-best. Sixth. We were always going to play tag with Iowa (although we hadn't the past few years), but third place in the Big Ten was sacrilege. But here we -- well, they -- are, barely holding on to a first-division spot in The Best Wrestling Conference In College Wrestling. And they'll still be fighting if they turn in performances such as Friday's humiliating 21-11 defeat at the hands of, of all programs, Nebraska. At home. Yeah, they beat Wisconsin last weekend, but it was only by a score of 18-15 and (wanking motion).
At Indiana this afternoon. Don't remember if the Hoosiers are one of the teams that are now above these Goofers.
#-5: Gopher women's basketball (Re-Entry!). It's rare to see so many U. teams below the pro teams on the survey. Anyway, the poor results so far into The Marlene Stollings Era is starting to turn into a troubling pattern that will be harder to remove from her tenure here. A 28-point shellacking of Illinois at Williams are bookended for the screening week with identical 15-point curb-stompings at Michigan and Iowa.
A lot of talk before the season began centered on how Carlie Wagner is going to lead the team. There are a lot of red flags that she wouldn't and couldn't have the impact of a Amanda Zahui B. or a Rachel Banham. Much of that is because Wagner's two predecessors have games and roles that are more impactful on the court. Zahui is a loose ball-eating post; Banham is a can't miss point. Wagner, far as I can tell, is a wing who plays best off the ball. Well, what happens if no one can get her the ball, not to mention what happens if her shot isn't falling? You have cases such as yesterday, where a close game at halftime was blown wide open in the second half by the Hawkeyes.
The WNIT is now in danger. Thursday they host Ohio St.
#-6: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -3). I am putting the men's b-ball team below the women's for two reasons: With yesterday's Overtime defeat to Wisconsin at The Barn, exciting as it was, they have lost three in a row; and unlike the women, they were in line for a spot in the NCAA Tournament, and their current losing streak has now put that in jeopardy. The hype behind this game surprised me; I think the game was sold out. But while this is better than a blowout, I wondered last week how tough these players are going to be in this game, and in the clutch, they were no match for Wisky.
And I don't know if the road is going to get any easier this screening week; they travel to Ohio St. and host Maryland.
The Golden Gopher men's hockey team lost. The Golden Gopher women's hockey team lost. (And by the way, the way their season is headed, they'll be back on the WMNSS next season.) In fact, if you expand HDM to all Twin Cities games played on Saturday, it is, so far, the most miserable day in local sports because the Golden Gopher men's and women's basketball teams also lost. It would have been a complete wipeout if not for the Wild, who had to come back from a 3-2 deficit to beat Anaheim at the X. And come back they did: Erik Haula, Ryan Suter and Jason Zucker scored three goals within a 1:59 span late in the third to spirit away the win.
It was a good week for the squad. It started by beating Chicago in Chicago in the nationally-televised Sunday Night game and it includes a 4-3 win over The Bastard Winnipeg Jets. On Tuesday they had a sizable lead on the Bastard Kansas City Scouts at home and somehow choked out a 4-3 loss by allowing two goals in almost back-to-back fashion. Still, that was only their, what, third loss since early December? This team's rolling now. The only major blip is that Jonas Brodin has a fractured finger and will be out at least a month. It is the sole injury on a club that has been blissfully free of them. I am now have just jinxed them.
They're right back at it tonight, hosting Nashville. They then travel Tuesday to play The Team That Was Stolen From Us before coming right back home to face St. Louis Thursday.
#-2: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -1). What I have learned intrinsically as a man who grew up in hockey country is that in College Hockey Nation, the world is flat. There is never any talk of whether a team can run the table and go undefeated for the season. I don't think it's ever happened, and I don't think it's even close. The top-ranked team in the nation loses all the time, sometimes in the first game after they reach #1, sometimes to a horrible team. You may call that parity, and you may grumble about it. I love the randomness, the ... sameness that top-flight college hockey seems from afar when you get into this part of the year and teams are just beating each other up.
Yes, there are still a lot of grumblings that Minnesota should be, and should have been, a much better squad/program than they're playing like now. A 5-3 loss at piss-poor Wisconsin isn't good, and although they did beat the Badgers Friday, they lost leads twice and had to get a lucky pass to Justin Kloos to pull it out in Overtime. But they will still be ranked and I think they will still be in NCAA Tournament inclusion in the PairWise. They're not in a tailspin, unlike another sport in Dinkytown, which you'll see at the bottom of this survey.
The club takes a break from Big Ten play as the 4th Annual North Star College Cup is next weekend. This will be the last time the Gophers can clip non-conference chits for the PairWise, but in years past the losses they've accrued here weighted down that score to the point they were left off the tourney. They have a big chance to boost their resume Friday because they draw Minnesota-Duluth. The U. then plays either Bemidji St. or St. Cloud St. the following day.
#-3: Timberwolves (Last Week: Positive Numbers). Well, the Timberpups' winning streak last week couldn't last, and it didn't, going down in flames Sunday at Dallas. That was followed by a similar grinding down in San Antonio. But at least they came back from a deficit and secured a 104-101 victory over The Bastard Buffalo Braves at Staples. Sure, the Clippers were without Chris Paul, but a good team takes advantage of that, and this team did.
This week they play every other day. They host Denver, Indiana and Brooklyn, although in the middle of all this they have to play at Phoenix, for some reason.
#-4: Gopher wrestling (Re-Entry!). I was exercising Friday night. I stumbled upon the Big Ten Network, which was broadcasting, of all things, wrestling. Since the conference never play college basketball games on Fridays (at least not men's games), Friday (and Sunday for that matter) are prime times to dedicate to a non-revenue sport. Wrestling would be good, but I don't know if they schedule a dual every Friday night. Whether it is wrestling, or hockey (they need to start airing more of those games; after all, they rearranged top-flight college hockey just to create a conference) or women's b-ball, they need to start broadcasting something regularly then.
OK, I went off on a tangent. Anyway, Penn St. and Iowa were playing. (Guessing the Nittany Lions won. They'll win the NCAA title this year too.) They run a crawl during action, and it's wrestling-related. The rankings were listed, and Minnesota is still ranked ... but are the sixth-best team in the B1G.
Sixth-best. Sixth. We were always going to play tag with Iowa (although we hadn't the past few years), but third place in the Big Ten was sacrilege. But here we -- well, they -- are, barely holding on to a first-division spot in The Best Wrestling Conference In College Wrestling. And they'll still be fighting if they turn in performances such as Friday's humiliating 21-11 defeat at the hands of, of all programs, Nebraska. At home. Yeah, they beat Wisconsin last weekend, but it was only by a score of 18-15 and (wanking motion).
At Indiana this afternoon. Don't remember if the Hoosiers are one of the teams that are now above these Goofers.
#-5: Gopher women's basketball (Re-Entry!). It's rare to see so many U. teams below the pro teams on the survey. Anyway, the poor results so far into The Marlene Stollings Era is starting to turn into a troubling pattern that will be harder to remove from her tenure here. A 28-point shellacking of Illinois at Williams are bookended for the screening week with identical 15-point curb-stompings at Michigan and Iowa.
A lot of talk before the season began centered on how Carlie Wagner is going to lead the team. There are a lot of red flags that she wouldn't and couldn't have the impact of a Amanda Zahui B. or a Rachel Banham. Much of that is because Wagner's two predecessors have games and roles that are more impactful on the court. Zahui is a loose ball-eating post; Banham is a can't miss point. Wagner, far as I can tell, is a wing who plays best off the ball. Well, what happens if no one can get her the ball, not to mention what happens if her shot isn't falling? You have cases such as yesterday, where a close game at halftime was blown wide open in the second half by the Hawkeyes.
The WNIT is now in danger. Thursday they host Ohio St.
#-6: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -3). I am putting the men's b-ball team below the women's for two reasons: With yesterday's Overtime defeat to Wisconsin at The Barn, exciting as it was, they have lost three in a row; and unlike the women, they were in line for a spot in the NCAA Tournament, and their current losing streak has now put that in jeopardy. The hype behind this game surprised me; I think the game was sold out. But while this is better than a blowout, I wondered last week how tough these players are going to be in this game, and in the clutch, they were no match for Wisky.
And I don't know if the road is going to get any easier this screening week; they travel to Ohio St. and host Maryland.
Saturday, January 21, 2017
Am I Woke?
After hearing that the Women's March On Washington could get 1.25 million attendees today, seeing that the Sister March in St. Paul might get 20,000 (which is really good for an area that size -- there goes Minnesota overachieving again!), and learning that the Trump inauguration, even though the dumb motherfucker thought it would be yuge and could be record-breaking, may have gotten a quarter million people (when Obama got 1.8 million eight years ago -- ha!), I have decided to attend the local March. Now, I won't be marching; I want to head downtown to watch some EPL, and I think I'll get to the Capitol in time for the rally there after the 9 o'clock games are over, which will be perfect.
But I want to take part of something where I know other people are just as scared about the future of this country like I am, and so want to find strength in numbers. And if there are a lot of people who want to be empowered in a campaign like this, I'll brave the crowds and the potential light-rail wait and the possibility that there might be some violence and (hopefully not) anybody mistaking me for a troll or an anarchist. Because I think it's time to take a stand for something, even if that means I'm just going to tentatively sneak up to the edge of a mass of people in the middle of a speaker. It's time I start fighting, dammit, and this is the perfect place to dip my toe in the water.
But I want to take part of something where I know other people are just as scared about the future of this country like I am, and so want to find strength in numbers. And if there are a lot of people who want to be empowered in a campaign like this, I'll brave the crowds and the potential light-rail wait and the possibility that there might be some violence and (hopefully not) anybody mistaking me for a troll or an anarchist. Because I think it's time to take a stand for something, even if that means I'm just going to tentatively sneak up to the edge of a mass of people in the middle of a speaker. It's time I start fighting, dammit, and this is the perfect place to dip my toe in the water.
Friday, January 20, 2017
It Is Mourning In America
Well, shit, it's happening. Donald Trump will be installed -- with the help of Russian hacking, voter suppression, sexism, racism and four decades of greedy, selfish intransigence by asshole Republicans, the true scum of the earth -- as the next President Of The United States today (Friday). And those factors also allowed those same asshole Republicans to control the House, the Senate, the Supreme Court, many governorships and the vast majority of the country's state houses.
I'm kind of numb over this Republican cancer that is about to spread all over the country. And even though I can't overtly say it's changed me, it has changed me, in subtle ways. For one thing, I can't watch or listen to the news anymore. I used to listen to National Public Radio all the time while driving. But after Election Day, ugh, I started listening to The Current more. It's not like I feel betrayed by NPR; like I've said, The Media has largely done its job. I just didn't want to hear any news from that ass clown Trump, and I still don't. And whenever I come home early enough to catch the national news, if the anchors introduce a piece about that piece of shit, I immediately change the channel, no matter what my parents want. I think I will feel that way for a long, long time.
Yes, I am scared about what is going to happen next. Once again, we correct-minded people should not be scared just of Trump, but also the people he putatively agrees with as a political party. They control all the levers of power now, and unless Trump decides to be a real loose cannon and turn on his fellow Republicans -- and if he can then marshal his populism against the machinery he used and then took over -- people with true hate in their hearts are going to be running this country, and running it into the ground. Already Republicans and Trump are about to cut massive amounts of the national budget. The cruelty behind that move sickens me.
---
I remember eight years ago, back in 2009, when Barack Obama was going to be sworn in. When he was elected President, I texted congratulations to the only black friend I had at the time.
I also remember being home the afternoon of January 20, knowing that I will indeed be witnessing history. I was home and not getting hounded by my parents, who still had The Store at the time, because my "job" was taking care of Grandmother.
We were out in the living room. I had the TV on; Grandmother was reading or something. I wanted to watch it out there with her because I thought she would want to see this too.
Meanwhile I had my computer turned on. Slate told me that they were going to follow the Inauguration in real time with this new ... er, function I had heard a little about at the time: Twitter. I didn't know how I would use it for myself, but I thought Slate did a fantastic job with it.
I also remember Chief Justice John Roberts screwing up the oath. I knew even then that people would want to luxuriate in that entire oath, the Chief Justice stating and the first black President Of The United States repeating, but that couldn't happen since Roberts effed it up. I also remember the pastor at the Inauguration invoking a prayer that was awesome.
Things were much simpler back then. Better, too.
---
I'm dressing in a black suit for work. There's a funeral today, after all, and I have to dress up.
This guy saw me dressed all dapper and asked if I had an interview. That's the lie I'm making up for my parents in case they see me dressed in this. I really wanted to say that I'm all in black because America dies today, but I didn't want him to think less of me, so I stammered out some BS about just wanting to be weird and be the opposite of Casual Friday, which is not in effect at work right now because we're being allowed to dress casually every day through February. And when I had my daily morning meeting with a bunch of guys I have decided are Republican, I made up another lie about wanting to see if this dress shirt and suit still fit me. (It does, by the way, although I have to suck my gut in.) Wish I could tell the truth about why I'm dressed like this, but you guys know.
#TheResistance
I'm kind of numb over this Republican cancer that is about to spread all over the country. And even though I can't overtly say it's changed me, it has changed me, in subtle ways. For one thing, I can't watch or listen to the news anymore. I used to listen to National Public Radio all the time while driving. But after Election Day, ugh, I started listening to The Current more. It's not like I feel betrayed by NPR; like I've said, The Media has largely done its job. I just didn't want to hear any news from that ass clown Trump, and I still don't. And whenever I come home early enough to catch the national news, if the anchors introduce a piece about that piece of shit, I immediately change the channel, no matter what my parents want. I think I will feel that way for a long, long time.
Yes, I am scared about what is going to happen next. Once again, we correct-minded people should not be scared just of Trump, but also the people he putatively agrees with as a political party. They control all the levers of power now, and unless Trump decides to be a real loose cannon and turn on his fellow Republicans -- and if he can then marshal his populism against the machinery he used and then took over -- people with true hate in their hearts are going to be running this country, and running it into the ground. Already Republicans and Trump are about to cut massive amounts of the national budget. The cruelty behind that move sickens me.
---
I remember eight years ago, back in 2009, when Barack Obama was going to be sworn in. When he was elected President, I texted congratulations to the only black friend I had at the time.
I also remember being home the afternoon of January 20, knowing that I will indeed be witnessing history. I was home and not getting hounded by my parents, who still had The Store at the time, because my "job" was taking care of Grandmother.
We were out in the living room. I had the TV on; Grandmother was reading or something. I wanted to watch it out there with her because I thought she would want to see this too.
Meanwhile I had my computer turned on. Slate told me that they were going to follow the Inauguration in real time with this new ... er, function I had heard a little about at the time: Twitter. I didn't know how I would use it for myself, but I thought Slate did a fantastic job with it.
I also remember Chief Justice John Roberts screwing up the oath. I knew even then that people would want to luxuriate in that entire oath, the Chief Justice stating and the first black President Of The United States repeating, but that couldn't happen since Roberts effed it up. I also remember the pastor at the Inauguration invoking a prayer that was awesome.
Things were much simpler back then. Better, too.
---
I'm dressing in a black suit for work. There's a funeral today, after all, and I have to dress up.
This guy saw me dressed all dapper and asked if I had an interview. That's the lie I'm making up for my parents in case they see me dressed in this. I really wanted to say that I'm all in black because America dies today, but I didn't want him to think less of me, so I stammered out some BS about just wanting to be weird and be the opposite of Casual Friday, which is not in effect at work right now because we're being allowed to dress casually every day through February. And when I had my daily morning meeting with a bunch of guys I have decided are Republican, I made up another lie about wanting to see if this dress shirt and suit still fit me. (It does, by the way, although I have to suck my gut in.) Wish I could tell the truth about why I'm dressed like this, but you guys know.
#TheResistance
Thursday, January 19, 2017
Committed To Spending $25.55
My cafeteria has punch cards, both electronic and paper, for certain food items -- you know, buy nine of these, get a tenth free. There are deals for both hot cereal/oatmeal and hot drinks that I have a free one for. I think both deals last through the end of the month, and that's when I'm going to take advantage of them.
However there was a snag. I used the electronic cards for both. One day not too long ago, I wanted to buy a mocha from the commissary, but as I was trying to bring up the app on my phone, it froze, and it continually froze. The barista was busy making drinks and I had to go back up to my cube, so eventually she just gave me a punch card and punched a hole in it.
I remembered that card this morning. I somehow got a second punch on it, but I was going to throw it away. But I got to thinking, I'm afraid. I'll get into more detail soon, I hope, but this new canister I use for my coffee has made me eat more at work. I'll just leave it at that. Anyway, I had pangs of hunger this morning, and I think that's why my mind leaped towards this punch card.
Then I did the math. If this buy-nine, get-one-free deal ends this month, and if I still have one free hot drink to use, and if (and this is where I checked the calendar on my computer) there are nine work days left before I'm done with this deal in its entirety, I would go to the cafeteria each day from today till the 31st -- seven days to buy drinks in order to fill up this card, and two other days to buy mochas or something else for free. But that would commit me to buying seven mochas this month, at a cost of (and this is where I used the calculator on my computer) $25.55. I really, really shouldn't be spending this much discretionary income on this, but darn it, I was hungry this morning, so I did it. And I'll be doing it for the rest of January
And despite what I initially thought, all of this is only going to make me even more fat. Broke too.
Wednesday, January 18, 2017
Leave Me Alone!
Alright, so even though I was sure I told Mother that I was not coming home to eat last (Tuesday) night (I decided to bring my car in for service), the text I got around 7 o'clock from Father asking me when I was coming home and whether I was eating tells me that either she didn't hear or she forgot. This means that there was a big mix-up about me being expected to come home for dinner and not.
After I got home I apologized and tried to smooth things over. They took it well, although they reminded me that if I am going to not come home to eat, I should cross off that date on the calendar. OK. They told me before, but now that this happened, I really should do that now.
And then this morning, both my parents were up and toodling around the living room. As I was putting on my shoes, it appeared as though My Mother was asking My Father what time I would be home. She didn't ask me; she asked him. So My Father did ask me, to which I replied, "Tell her I'll be home at 6:30."
And it got even more annoying. When I went down to the master bedroom to apologize to them, I also told My Father that I was running out of the alcohol/water spray bottle he gave me to deice, he told me that there was one bottle he leaves at the foot of the door; use that if I run out, he said, but then return it back inside. Well, as I was about to leave, he came out with that spray bottle, spritzed some acetone on the windshield a few times (even though it wasn't necessary because there wasn't a whole lot of ice, compared to, say, yesterday [Tuesday] morning), and lectured me on how I needed to ration the bottle I have in my car.
Seriously, what's their deal? I thought they were OK with me missing dinner. I thought they accepted my apology. Really, I thought I had told Mother. No, I did tell Mother. And because of this one ... oversight, Mother's being an ass and Father's getting all overbearing again.
Maybe I need to cross off more dates from the calendar after all.
After I got home I apologized and tried to smooth things over. They took it well, although they reminded me that if I am going to not come home to eat, I should cross off that date on the calendar. OK. They told me before, but now that this happened, I really should do that now.
And then this morning, both my parents were up and toodling around the living room. As I was putting on my shoes, it appeared as though My Mother was asking My Father what time I would be home. She didn't ask me; she asked him. So My Father did ask me, to which I replied, "Tell her I'll be home at 6:30."
And it got even more annoying. When I went down to the master bedroom to apologize to them, I also told My Father that I was running out of the alcohol/water spray bottle he gave me to deice, he told me that there was one bottle he leaves at the foot of the door; use that if I run out, he said, but then return it back inside. Well, as I was about to leave, he came out with that spray bottle, spritzed some acetone on the windshield a few times (even though it wasn't necessary because there wasn't a whole lot of ice, compared to, say, yesterday [Tuesday] morning), and lectured me on how I needed to ration the bottle I have in my car.
Seriously, what's their deal? I thought they were OK with me missing dinner. I thought they accepted my apology. Really, I thought I had told Mother. No, I did tell Mother. And because of this one ... oversight, Mother's being an ass and Father's getting all overbearing again.
Maybe I need to cross off more dates from the calendar after all.
Tuesday, January 17, 2017
My Big 3 -- Wow, This Setting Aside Money For Things Is Hard
I have to sit back and at least acknowledge that I am not without money these days. I am in the middle of a temporary assignment, and the money I am making is going out just as fast as it's coming in. But having a paycheck to look forward to keeps me afloat, and although I should be aspiring higher than that by now, I at least (huh, "at least," the mantra of a lazy loser) am not scrounging for cash and seeing my checking account get smaller. It's not getting bigger, but it's not getting smaller, either.
Saying that, this contractor position has allowed me to dream of buying and doing things with the money I am making. That complicates, if not ruins, any chance of mounding up my pile of cash before I lose my job. But hey, what's the use of making money if I can't spend it the way I want, right?
Early in this assignment, around October or so, I had three, uh, purchases I wanted and needed from the money I'm making from this job. They are:
Problem now -- well, foremost among them -- is when to actually spend the money. A lot of that is contingent upon knowing when I lose my job. My plan is to go to Hong Kong as soon as I'm done with my health insurance job. It would have helped tremendously if I knew when my end date is, for airfare purposes. Shoot, I thought I knew when my drop-dead date last season was before I even started. I would have had months to plan things then. But it's going to be one of those deals where I know, like, three weeks ahead of time. We'll see if I get lucky then and come across a deal on short notice.
As for the laptop, once I know when I lose my job, I will know the last possible date I can use my employee discount to get a new laptop. I didn't want to buy it now because Christmas shopping and other expenses though the fall and winter was going to sop up all the money I was making, so buying a lap at the last possible moment is my way of spreading out my purchases. Course, when I need to buy an airline ticket to Hong Kong, how much spreading can I really do? Anyway, I will accelerate my search for a new computer as soon as I know when my employment ends.
These expenses are also affecting me funding the scholarship. I don't need to give a grand this year; we have enough from some donations, plus some money leftover from past fundraisers. But I still want to eventually give the club $1,000 very soon anyway (and I am thinking about giving another grand for the following year, but I don't want to think about that now). Problem is is that I will be blowing a huge hole if I give a grand now. So I am giving only $500, which will be enough with the money we already have to fund the scholarship for this school year, and then give the other $500 the next time I have a job.
And ... I'm exhausted just thinking about all I have to do. Guess I don't have a conclusion to make from all this, I'm just laying out my plan and complaining.
Saying that, this contractor position has allowed me to dream of buying and doing things with the money I am making. That complicates, if not ruins, any chance of mounding up my pile of cash before I lose my job. But hey, what's the use of making money if I can't spend it the way I want, right?
Early in this assignment, around October or so, I had three, uh, purchases I wanted and needed from the money I'm making from this job. They are:
- A trip to Hong Kong to see Grandmother. She appears to be in good shape, but she's getting up there, and who knows if I'll be able to see her alive ever again. If I love her, I should demonstrate that by visiting her.
- A laptop. The one I have now is getting progressively slower, and the features that seemed cutting edge in late 2007 are becoming woefully obsolete almost a decade later.
- Funding our alumni club's scholarship. It is our goal to raise $1,000 every year to give away to a student from the area. Well, like I was afraid of, this year we were miles short of where we needed to be. I knew when I took the presidency that some day, I would have to foot the money to continue sending out this scholarship out of my own pocket. That day has come, and I have little faith that that will change in the future.
Problem now -- well, foremost among them -- is when to actually spend the money. A lot of that is contingent upon knowing when I lose my job. My plan is to go to Hong Kong as soon as I'm done with my health insurance job. It would have helped tremendously if I knew when my end date is, for airfare purposes. Shoot, I thought I knew when my drop-dead date last season was before I even started. I would have had months to plan things then. But it's going to be one of those deals where I know, like, three weeks ahead of time. We'll see if I get lucky then and come across a deal on short notice.
As for the laptop, once I know when I lose my job, I will know the last possible date I can use my employee discount to get a new laptop. I didn't want to buy it now because Christmas shopping and other expenses though the fall and winter was going to sop up all the money I was making, so buying a lap at the last possible moment is my way of spreading out my purchases. Course, when I need to buy an airline ticket to Hong Kong, how much spreading can I really do? Anyway, I will accelerate my search for a new computer as soon as I know when my employment ends.
These expenses are also affecting me funding the scholarship. I don't need to give a grand this year; we have enough from some donations, plus some money leftover from past fundraisers. But I still want to eventually give the club $1,000 very soon anyway (and I am thinking about giving another grand for the following year, but I don't want to think about that now). Problem is is that I will be blowing a huge hole if I give a grand now. So I am giving only $500, which will be enough with the money we already have to fund the scholarship for this school year, and then give the other $500 the next time I have a job.
And ... I'm exhausted just thinking about all I have to do. Guess I don't have a conclusion to make from all this, I'm just laying out my plan and complaining.
Going Back To School, For Real ...
Well, I'm doing it ... maybe: I had a lot of time at work yesterday (Monday) and, considering the shit that came out of my boss' mouth last week, it was time to take the plunge and go back to school. Timing couldn't be better, or, actually, it could be a lot better: With yesterday (Monday) being MLK Day, classes for Spring Semester start ... um, today.
My sudden impetus to finally do this came from a combination of things, which I stated above. That doesn't necessarily mean I have done my research. From from it, in fact. I think I'll be doing actuarial classes, and so I need to find a class -- just one class -- I could dip my toe in. I prefer to do it online, but from past research I came to the conclusion that narrows my choices by a lot, so yesterday (Monday) I started moving things around in order to actually go to a class in the evening.
I think I found one -- computer science. But there is a lab as well as a lecture, and that means I need to go to the U. two evenings per week. And then, after digging around some more, I realized that compu sci class has a prerequisite -- calculus. Oy, back to needing to learn calculus again. Christ.
Oh, well, there is microeconomics. I took that in high school and I got a fantastic AP score from it as well, so I really don't think I need to take this class again. But there's probably no way that that AP score gets me exempted from this class seeing as it was 20+ years ago, plus there is no other beginner's class I could get in. Hey, at least there's a chance I can take it online.
But I just tried signing up and I couldn't. Maybe that's for the best; there's an ice storm that's supposed to snarl up traffic in the morning. Maybe I'll be late for work, which means I'll have to stay late in the evening, which means I'll miss all the start times for evening classes at the U. Hmmm ... maybe I won't be able to go back to school this semester after all. Shucky darn!
My sudden impetus to finally do this came from a combination of things, which I stated above. That doesn't necessarily mean I have done my research. From from it, in fact. I think I'll be doing actuarial classes, and so I need to find a class -- just one class -- I could dip my toe in. I prefer to do it online, but from past research I came to the conclusion that narrows my choices by a lot, so yesterday (Monday) I started moving things around in order to actually go to a class in the evening.
I think I found one -- computer science. But there is a lab as well as a lecture, and that means I need to go to the U. two evenings per week. And then, after digging around some more, I realized that compu sci class has a prerequisite -- calculus. Oy, back to needing to learn calculus again. Christ.
Oh, well, there is microeconomics. I took that in high school and I got a fantastic AP score from it as well, so I really don't think I need to take this class again. But there's probably no way that that AP score gets me exempted from this class seeing as it was 20+ years ago, plus there is no other beginner's class I could get in. Hey, at least there's a chance I can take it online.
But I just tried signing up and I couldn't. Maybe that's for the best; there's an ice storm that's supposed to snarl up traffic in the morning. Maybe I'll be late for work, which means I'll have to stay late in the evening, which means I'll miss all the start times for evening classes at the U. Hmmm ... maybe I won't be able to go back to school this semester after all. Shucky darn!
Monday, January 16, 2017
My Fucking Mother Is Going To Be So Enjoyable To Deal With Once She Has Alzheimer's
All I wanted to do was put my clothes in the dryer. But I heard My Fucking Mother yell for me from inside her bedroom even though I was in the laundry room.
At that point I thought I could ignore her, because I know she would ask me to do something that 1) was stupid and 2) I wouldn't be able to solve. But, being the dutiful son, I confirmed that I was able to hear her shrill cry from ten yards away by entering the master bedroom.
My God, that was a goddamn mistake.
My Fucking Mother continues to top herself when it comes to requests/demands that are both unimportant and impossible to figure out. This time around she can't see her goddamn Chinese YouTube videos on her AppleTV. What the hell does she want me to do about it?
I eventually solved it; My Fucking Father screwed me over by changing the modem (and thus the network and password) Saturday without telling me, plus her AirPlay setting on her AppleTV was shut off for some reason. But that really isn't the point I am trying to make. My Fucking Mother has been harping on me, constantly, about our slow wi-fi. We get it through our phone company, and it's only 3 Megs. I know it's slow, but I really, really hate going to Comcast because I continue to hear the horror stories about their customer service. That has been a source of consternation for both my parents. My Father has tried to fix it by switching from modem to modem, as if that will work. My Fucking Mother just bitches.
It kind of came to a head last night. She wanted me to go to apple.com to figure out what's wrong. She could do that herself, but this is where she hides behind the excuse that her English isn't so good, and that's why she called me. I knew where this lame story was going to end, so I was going to that website with as much negative body language as possible. I also went to apple.com while this video she can't see on AppleTV was still running.
Finally, she just exploded on me. She took her iPad back and started yelling at me for not shutting off the video because (at least she alleges) that is the reason why apple.com was loading so slowly. To me, she was just screaming at me again for something she knew that I both couldn't fix and thought was ridiculous to be so mad about. And so I finally told her that she's acting like a child for panicking over this shit, and I don't really care about her "fucking" videos.
OK, I don't remember what I said exactly. I do know that I used the word "fucking." Now, My Fucking Mother has this tendency -- I really want to say that it's a tic -- that whenever I say something in English in the heat of an argument, she repeats those words back to me. And so, she made some inarticulate sentence in English, but she said the word, "Fucking." It is the first time I have ever heard her say the word, "Fucking." I know she has used it before; after all, she spent most of her life dealing with truckers. But she never used towards me, till now.
I will be honest. A part of me shocked that she would use such language. (Never mind I said the word first.) A part of me is hurt, frankly. But a part of me is thinking that My Fucking Mother said it in a really weird way. I kind of want to laugh at that, and at her, if only as a defense mechanism.
So it got fixed, for now, and we kind of didn't go away mad. But I'm still mad, because she's fucking nuts. If she's going to get this bent out of shape because her AppleTV wasn't working (while I was going online I think she tried calling my brother, like, five times), I don't want to know how insufferable she's going to become if she's stricken with dementia.
Oh, and I had a plan of going to Comcast this year, because I'm giving up. I am supposed to be under this discount my phone company has given me the past five years, and I might get out of that once that is over. But after this blowup, who knows, maybe I'll stay!
At that point I thought I could ignore her, because I know she would ask me to do something that 1) was stupid and 2) I wouldn't be able to solve. But, being the dutiful son, I confirmed that I was able to hear her shrill cry from ten yards away by entering the master bedroom.
My God, that was a goddamn mistake.
My Fucking Mother continues to top herself when it comes to requests/demands that are both unimportant and impossible to figure out. This time around she can't see her goddamn Chinese YouTube videos on her AppleTV. What the hell does she want me to do about it?
I eventually solved it; My Fucking Father screwed me over by changing the modem (and thus the network and password) Saturday without telling me, plus her AirPlay setting on her AppleTV was shut off for some reason. But that really isn't the point I am trying to make. My Fucking Mother has been harping on me, constantly, about our slow wi-fi. We get it through our phone company, and it's only 3 Megs. I know it's slow, but I really, really hate going to Comcast because I continue to hear the horror stories about their customer service. That has been a source of consternation for both my parents. My Father has tried to fix it by switching from modem to modem, as if that will work. My Fucking Mother just bitches.
It kind of came to a head last night. She wanted me to go to apple.com to figure out what's wrong. She could do that herself, but this is where she hides behind the excuse that her English isn't so good, and that's why she called me. I knew where this lame story was going to end, so I was going to that website with as much negative body language as possible. I also went to apple.com while this video she can't see on AppleTV was still running.
Finally, she just exploded on me. She took her iPad back and started yelling at me for not shutting off the video because (at least she alleges) that is the reason why apple.com was loading so slowly. To me, she was just screaming at me again for something she knew that I both couldn't fix and thought was ridiculous to be so mad about. And so I finally told her that she's acting like a child for panicking over this shit, and I don't really care about her "fucking" videos.
OK, I don't remember what I said exactly. I do know that I used the word "fucking." Now, My Fucking Mother has this tendency -- I really want to say that it's a tic -- that whenever I say something in English in the heat of an argument, she repeats those words back to me. And so, she made some inarticulate sentence in English, but she said the word, "Fucking." It is the first time I have ever heard her say the word, "Fucking." I know she has used it before; after all, she spent most of her life dealing with truckers. But she never used towards me, till now.
I will be honest. A part of me shocked that she would use such language. (Never mind I said the word first.) A part of me is hurt, frankly. But a part of me is thinking that My Fucking Mother said it in a really weird way. I kind of want to laugh at that, and at her, if only as a defense mechanism.
So it got fixed, for now, and we kind of didn't go away mad. But I'm still mad, because she's fucking nuts. If she's going to get this bent out of shape because her AppleTV wasn't working (while I was going online I think she tried calling my brother, like, five times), I don't want to know how insufferable she's going to become if she's stricken with dementia.
Oh, and I had a plan of going to Comcast this year, because I'm giving up. I am supposed to be under this discount my phone company has given me the past five years, and I might get out of that once that is over. But after this blowup, who knows, maybe I'll stay!
Sunday, January 15, 2017
The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey
Positive Numbers: Timberwolves (Last Week: -5). Want to note how dynamic the survey is this time of year. Last week I was slogging through seven entries -- and I think I did a pretty good job, if I do say so myself. Now there are five. One of these is new (real new -- see below), but that means three teams from last week are gone from this week. One of them I put in because they made news (the Gopher fooball squad). Another of them simply fell off because they didn't play this week (the Gopher wrestling club, and they play this afternoon, so they'll certainly be in next week's WMNSS). The last is supposed to on this week's survey, but the Gopher women's basketball team's only game this week, at Northwestern, was postponed due to the death (and sorry to speculate, but I'm guessing it's a suicide) of a Wildcats player. My thoughts and prayers are with the family, friends and teammates of Jordan Hankins.
The teams that remain for this week's survey have, with one notable exception, had perfect screening weeks. The top three, in fact, went 8-0 this week. So I had a surfeit of teams to select and to elevate. In the end, I'm giving the top stop to the T-Wolves, mainly for the caliber of opponents they beat -- Dallas, Houston, and Oklahoma City. I truly thought they were going to lose all three matches (even to the Mavericks), but margins of 9, 14 and 10, the two largest over playoff teams, the last of which despite Russell Westbrook notching yet another triple-double, showed that this team had at least a fantastic week, doldrums of the long season or no. I do understand that all three games were at Target Center, but it's not as if they've enjoyed a home-court advantage so far this year. Also, I don't know if the Woofs will return to earth with a thud, so I'm going to toss these guys a bone for something they've earned.
In MinnPost's Britt Robson's latest missive on this talent-laden team, a source I'm relying on heavily for both this WAF recurring piece but also to understand them, he notes that the repeated sink-or-swim order Head Coach Tom Thibodeau is adhering to in playing Zach LaVine, Andrew Wiggins and Karl-Anthony Towns continues to yield hard lessons for the team, and that has continued to damage home attendance, if not road attendance. However, things have improved as of late. The team's Defensive Ratings has rocketed up in the last 15 or so games. Also, with LaVine out because of a hip contusion, Thibs has begun to expand past his eight-man rotation. Brandon Rush has played minutes -- and played well. And Robson notes that in the Fourth Quarter, Tyus Jones, of all people, played extremely well in Monday's victory over Dallas. That probably gives more impetus to trading Ricky Rubio, and probably by the trade deadline.
Note the difference in results that surround one event: The injury to LaVine. Robson notes that the five-man unit of Rubio, LaVine, Wiggins, Gorgui Dieng and KAT has the most minutes in the National Basketball Association. As of Monday, that lineup has allowed 50 more points than they've scored. Nevertheless, Thibodeau will probably rely on that quintet once LaVine comes back -- to make sure the young Timberpups get their PT, and also to accumulate enough evidence to make decisions in the off-season.
Neverthless, this is the club's first three-game winning streak of the year. Minnesota'll try to extend that this week, this time all on the road: A rematch against the Mavericks, then games against San Antonio and the Clippers.
#0: Wild (Last Week: -3). Meanwhile, the Wild are doing all they can to prevent their chronic mid-season swoon. A 7-1 rout of Goalie Carey Price and the division-leading Montreal Canadiens are sandwiched by weekend wins in division-leading Anaheim and, most gratifying, Dallas. That Bastard North Stars game was, well, wild; Minnesota scored four goals in the first; The Team That Was Stolen From Us managed to tie it in the third, but two minutes and two seconds after that tally, Jason Zucker scored to claim the 5-4 victory. All five goals were scored by different players, including free agent revelation Eric Staal. And with that win, Minnesota now leads the extremely rugged Central Division.
Yeah, this team is playing very well right now. Only, what, two losses since early December?
They are in first place only via tie-breaker. They have the same number of points as Chicago. And they will get to break that tie immediately; they visit Chicago in a nationally-televised (well, on cable) game tonight. This begins a busy week and a spell in the season where they won't play on Monday, Wednesday or Friday. And after they go to Chicago, they'll have a four-game homestand, with dates vs. New Jersey Tuesday, Arizona Thursday, and the Ducks Saturday.
#-1: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -1). I feel bad throwing this club down in third, because they have earned the top spot. They are in the Top 10 in the polls, they are keeping apace with Penn St. (!!!) in the top of the B1G, and they have won six straight and eight-of-nine with a sweep of Michigan at Mariucci this weekend. Lately what makes me feel good about this team is that they are scoring; in particular, Vinni Lettieri should get some weekly conference plaudits for his hat trick (his first) in Saturday's 4-2 victory over the Wolverines.
They are at Wisconsin next weekend.
#-2: United FC (BRAND NEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!). Ladies and gentlemen, for only the second time in the history of The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey, we introduced a new franchise that we will cover from now on. Minnesota now has a team in the highest level of a sports league in America/North America, Minnesota United FC in Major League Soccer. After years of minor-league play, MNUFC is "promoted" up to MLS, and I am proud to say that I am a season-ticket holder.
Too bad these guys' first ever ranking in the WMNSS is -2, because I think they screwed up their SuperDraft.
First, I want to talk about how this franchise is rebuilding its roster for top-flight play as it compares to the other expansion team that enters MLS this season, Atlanta United FC. Atlanta had a team in second-division play, the Silverbacks, but apparently Arthur Blank, the owner of AUFC and the Atlanta Falcons, knows that he basically conjured up a franchise without any genuine grassroots support from people who will buy their tickets. To counter that, he has made a huge splash, hiring a manager who's well known in South America and buying up the best of the best in South America and the Caribbean. In contrast, MNUFC has been really slow in acquiring bodies. They have done well in connecting with their minor league past and fans, though, by bringing along three players from their NASL days: Justin Davis, Miguel Ibarra and Christian Ramirez.
This reminds me of another Minnesota expansion people couldn't help but compare with the other club that was being brought to life at the same time. For the 1989-90 season, the Minnesota Timberwolves were entering the NBA alongside the Orlando Magic. And it was the Magic who was the turtle/saw the big picture, accumulating young and raw talent and accepting they would take their lumps early in the hopes of building an extremely good team down the road. The Woofie Dogs said to hell with the long game and wanted to win now, with rotation castoffs such as Tony Campbell and Tyrone Corbin leading the team the first season. Look at how the fortunes of the franchises have been. No, neither team is good now, but the Magic have reached the NBA Finals on the strength of Shaquille O'Neal and Penny Hardaway, while the Woofs are still struggling to figure out their talent while rebuilding for the umpteenth time. Yes, it's been 27 years. But if there is any justice, the decisions made at the birth of United's life will result in an extremely strong foundation built for sustained success in the long run.
Saying that, they screwed up with their prime gift of the first overall pick in this year's draft/college draft. Going into Friday, the consensus #1 player was a Dookie, Jeremy Ebobisse. Late word in the afternoon, though, was confirmed when MNUFC decided not to trade down in an effort to draft a Minnesota-born UCLA player, Jackson Yueill, and instead selected Yueill's Bruin teammate, Abu Danladi. The poop on him: Risk but reward -- can shoot and create his own shot, but he has been injured. Meanwhile, Ebobisse, who was drafted fourth by the Portland Timbers, can also create and finish, and he doesn't have any injury history. Plus, I heard he aced his SATs. And, frankly, Ebobisse is much more eloquent than Danladi. I mean, listen to Ebobisse:
Wouldn't he be great as the face of Minnesota United? Well, he's the face of the Timbers now, and I think that'll bite this organization in the ass for a long time. I'll give Danladi a chance, but it seems as though those guys have drafted soccer's version of Joel Embiid, and I don't know if I want to wait two years to see a guy show his greatness and then hold my breath in the hopes he doesn't get injured on the pitch.
#-3: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: 0). Well, this isn't good. They defeated Ohio St. in the B1G Sunday night game, but they now have their first losing-streak of the year, due to a wall-to-wall rout at Michigan St. (completing a season sweep) Wednesday and a 52-50 loss in Penn St. Saturday due to two free throws from a Nate Mason foul. They appear to still be on track to make the Big Dance, and they still have a lot of talent. But I think their next game, a Saturday afternoon tilt versus Wisconsin at Williams, will show a lot about how tough these players are.
The teams that remain for this week's survey have, with one notable exception, had perfect screening weeks. The top three, in fact, went 8-0 this week. So I had a surfeit of teams to select and to elevate. In the end, I'm giving the top stop to the T-Wolves, mainly for the caliber of opponents they beat -- Dallas, Houston, and Oklahoma City. I truly thought they were going to lose all three matches (even to the Mavericks), but margins of 9, 14 and 10, the two largest over playoff teams, the last of which despite Russell Westbrook notching yet another triple-double, showed that this team had at least a fantastic week, doldrums of the long season or no. I do understand that all three games were at Target Center, but it's not as if they've enjoyed a home-court advantage so far this year. Also, I don't know if the Woofs will return to earth with a thud, so I'm going to toss these guys a bone for something they've earned.
In MinnPost's Britt Robson's latest missive on this talent-laden team, a source I'm relying on heavily for both this WAF recurring piece but also to understand them, he notes that the repeated sink-or-swim order Head Coach Tom Thibodeau is adhering to in playing Zach LaVine, Andrew Wiggins and Karl-Anthony Towns continues to yield hard lessons for the team, and that has continued to damage home attendance, if not road attendance. However, things have improved as of late. The team's Defensive Ratings has rocketed up in the last 15 or so games. Also, with LaVine out because of a hip contusion, Thibs has begun to expand past his eight-man rotation. Brandon Rush has played minutes -- and played well. And Robson notes that in the Fourth Quarter, Tyus Jones, of all people, played extremely well in Monday's victory over Dallas. That probably gives more impetus to trading Ricky Rubio, and probably by the trade deadline.
Note the difference in results that surround one event: The injury to LaVine. Robson notes that the five-man unit of Rubio, LaVine, Wiggins, Gorgui Dieng and KAT has the most minutes in the National Basketball Association. As of Monday, that lineup has allowed 50 more points than they've scored. Nevertheless, Thibodeau will probably rely on that quintet once LaVine comes back -- to make sure the young Timberpups get their PT, and also to accumulate enough evidence to make decisions in the off-season.
Neverthless, this is the club's first three-game winning streak of the year. Minnesota'll try to extend that this week, this time all on the road: A rematch against the Mavericks, then games against San Antonio and the Clippers.
#0: Wild (Last Week: -3). Meanwhile, the Wild are doing all they can to prevent their chronic mid-season swoon. A 7-1 rout of Goalie Carey Price and the division-leading Montreal Canadiens are sandwiched by weekend wins in division-leading Anaheim and, most gratifying, Dallas. That Bastard North Stars game was, well, wild; Minnesota scored four goals in the first; The Team That Was Stolen From Us managed to tie it in the third, but two minutes and two seconds after that tally, Jason Zucker scored to claim the 5-4 victory. All five goals were scored by different players, including free agent revelation Eric Staal. And with that win, Minnesota now leads the extremely rugged Central Division.
Yeah, this team is playing very well right now. Only, what, two losses since early December?
They are in first place only via tie-breaker. They have the same number of points as Chicago. And they will get to break that tie immediately; they visit Chicago in a nationally-televised (well, on cable) game tonight. This begins a busy week and a spell in the season where they won't play on Monday, Wednesday or Friday. And after they go to Chicago, they'll have a four-game homestand, with dates vs. New Jersey Tuesday, Arizona Thursday, and the Ducks Saturday.
#-1: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -1). I feel bad throwing this club down in third, because they have earned the top spot. They are in the Top 10 in the polls, they are keeping apace with Penn St. (!!!) in the top of the B1G, and they have won six straight and eight-of-nine with a sweep of Michigan at Mariucci this weekend. Lately what makes me feel good about this team is that they are scoring; in particular, Vinni Lettieri should get some weekly conference plaudits for his hat trick (his first) in Saturday's 4-2 victory over the Wolverines.
They are at Wisconsin next weekend.
#-2: United FC (BRAND NEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!). Ladies and gentlemen, for only the second time in the history of The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey, we introduced a new franchise that we will cover from now on. Minnesota now has a team in the highest level of a sports league in America/North America, Minnesota United FC in Major League Soccer. After years of minor-league play, MNUFC is "promoted" up to MLS, and I am proud to say that I am a season-ticket holder.
Too bad these guys' first ever ranking in the WMNSS is -2, because I think they screwed up their SuperDraft.
First, I want to talk about how this franchise is rebuilding its roster for top-flight play as it compares to the other expansion team that enters MLS this season, Atlanta United FC. Atlanta had a team in second-division play, the Silverbacks, but apparently Arthur Blank, the owner of AUFC and the Atlanta Falcons, knows that he basically conjured up a franchise without any genuine grassroots support from people who will buy their tickets. To counter that, he has made a huge splash, hiring a manager who's well known in South America and buying up the best of the best in South America and the Caribbean. In contrast, MNUFC has been really slow in acquiring bodies. They have done well in connecting with their minor league past and fans, though, by bringing along three players from their NASL days: Justin Davis, Miguel Ibarra and Christian Ramirez.
This reminds me of another Minnesota expansion people couldn't help but compare with the other club that was being brought to life at the same time. For the 1989-90 season, the Minnesota Timberwolves were entering the NBA alongside the Orlando Magic. And it was the Magic who was the turtle/saw the big picture, accumulating young and raw talent and accepting they would take their lumps early in the hopes of building an extremely good team down the road. The Woofie Dogs said to hell with the long game and wanted to win now, with rotation castoffs such as Tony Campbell and Tyrone Corbin leading the team the first season. Look at how the fortunes of the franchises have been. No, neither team is good now, but the Magic have reached the NBA Finals on the strength of Shaquille O'Neal and Penny Hardaway, while the Woofs are still struggling to figure out their talent while rebuilding for the umpteenth time. Yes, it's been 27 years. But if there is any justice, the decisions made at the birth of United's life will result in an extremely strong foundation built for sustained success in the long run.
Saying that, they screwed up with their prime gift of the first overall pick in this year's draft/college draft. Going into Friday, the consensus #1 player was a Dookie, Jeremy Ebobisse. Late word in the afternoon, though, was confirmed when MNUFC decided not to trade down in an effort to draft a Minnesota-born UCLA player, Jackson Yueill, and instead selected Yueill's Bruin teammate, Abu Danladi. The poop on him: Risk but reward -- can shoot and create his own shot, but he has been injured. Meanwhile, Ebobisse, who was drafted fourth by the Portland Timbers, can also create and finish, and he doesn't have any injury history. Plus, I heard he aced his SATs. And, frankly, Ebobisse is much more eloquent than Danladi. I mean, listen to Ebobisse:
Wouldn't he be great as the face of Minnesota United? Well, he's the face of the Timbers now, and I think that'll bite this organization in the ass for a long time. I'll give Danladi a chance, but it seems as though those guys have drafted soccer's version of Joel Embiid, and I don't know if I want to wait two years to see a guy show his greatness and then hold my breath in the hopes he doesn't get injured on the pitch.
#-3: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: 0). Well, this isn't good. They defeated Ohio St. in the B1G Sunday night game, but they now have their first losing-streak of the year, due to a wall-to-wall rout at Michigan St. (completing a season sweep) Wednesday and a 52-50 loss in Penn St. Saturday due to two free throws from a Nate Mason foul. They appear to still be on track to make the Big Dance, and they still have a lot of talent. But I think their next game, a Saturday afternoon tilt versus Wisconsin at Williams, will show a lot about how tough these players are.
Saturday, January 14, 2017
(Sigh) We're Babysitting Again
I was eating Thursday night when Father looked at the "ding" that came from his cellphone. He usually doesn't bring his cell to the dinner table. When he picked it up, he said something to Mother in Chinese. I didn't get everything he said, but I knew: My brother and sister-in-law are coming by Saturday to drop off my niece for a few hours. Then Father showed Mother the text: She's coming over at around 5:30, right in the middle of the two football playoff games.
I know I'm going to hell for saying this, but I would rather not babysit my niece for the three or so hours they'll be gone. And I'll be brutally honest: If they didn't drop her off for us to take care of, if they opted for an actual babysitter that they would pay, that would be more than fine by me.
The reasons are manifold. I love my niece, I really do. But by God, she's a holy terror. She has boundless energy, more than I have at my advanced age. (Knowing that I probably had the same amount of energy when I was 3, I would understand why Grandmother and my parents would be fed up with my antics.) She wears me out. Every time my niece comes by to play, I get so tired that I have to run away into my bedroom to nap. Serious. I have to let my folks (well, Mother) take care of her while I recuperate.
And I feel terrible about saying this because retreating away from interacting with my niece is what Father does. It's weird how she doesn't do anything with her. When she comes over, Mother is actively playing (and, to be honest, bothering her; she gets a little too overbearing sometimes when she wants to get a reaction from my niece) with her. In those cases, Father oftentimes just sits in the dining room table, watching from afar -- whenever he doesn't go down to the master bedroom. Compounding that weirdness, Mother continues to say that Father always asks if my brother is sent her photos of their granddaughter. He loves him from a distance, but never up close.
That is how I see My Father had parented me, and that's bad. And so I don't want to propagate that neglect by refusing to play with my niece. But I have that urge to stay away from her and watch football by myself in peace is sure proof that I am My Father's son, dammit.
Now that I have typed that, I know what I have to do. I'll keep the TV on while I play with my niece. I just hope she's not staying overnight.
I know I'm going to hell for saying this, but I would rather not babysit my niece for the three or so hours they'll be gone. And I'll be brutally honest: If they didn't drop her off for us to take care of, if they opted for an actual babysitter that they would pay, that would be more than fine by me.
The reasons are manifold. I love my niece, I really do. But by God, she's a holy terror. She has boundless energy, more than I have at my advanced age. (Knowing that I probably had the same amount of energy when I was 3, I would understand why Grandmother and my parents would be fed up with my antics.) She wears me out. Every time my niece comes by to play, I get so tired that I have to run away into my bedroom to nap. Serious. I have to let my folks (well, Mother) take care of her while I recuperate.
And I feel terrible about saying this because retreating away from interacting with my niece is what Father does. It's weird how she doesn't do anything with her. When she comes over, Mother is actively playing (and, to be honest, bothering her; she gets a little too overbearing sometimes when she wants to get a reaction from my niece) with her. In those cases, Father oftentimes just sits in the dining room table, watching from afar -- whenever he doesn't go down to the master bedroom. Compounding that weirdness, Mother continues to say that Father always asks if my brother is sent her photos of their granddaughter. He loves him from a distance, but never up close.
That is how I see My Father had parented me, and that's bad. And so I don't want to propagate that neglect by refusing to play with my niece. But I have that urge to stay away from her and watch football by myself in peace is sure proof that I am My Father's son, dammit.
Now that I have typed that, I know what I have to do. I'll keep the TV on while I play with my niece. I just hope she's not staying overnight.
Friday, January 13, 2017
The Endless Loop On Satellite Radio
I first came upon this phenomenon while riding in our family's road trip to Niagara Falls and back. To while away the hours (and to take advantage of the fact that T-Mobile allows data to be used without charge if it's being used for streaming services), I listened to games and music through the SiriusXM app on my smartphone. It was hard at times -- no, make it most times -- to listen while we were trekking through the Northeast and Midwest. There are probably many reasons it was hard to listen to reliably. I have an old phone. I'm guessing the 3G isn't all that great, and we may have hit some dead spots driving through the country. I'm sure there was a lot of interference I encountered, if it was going through an underpass or even a bad spot in the car. And the app, to be honest, isn't great; I've called customer service a couple times and they said to delete the app and then reinstall, which I did once. No dice.
Sometimes I got something weird. After changing the channel to either listen to music or a game, I would hear, oh, ten seconds of something, and then I would hear it again. It would play on a loop, which is something I had never heard before.
That had happened since, but it got ridiculous Wednesday. I wanted to listen to the Michigan-Illinois men's basketball game, and it got into this rut -- I think Michigan called for a sub, and then the play-by-play guy touched on the Wolverines' record, and then I noticed that a loud bang starts this snippet.
And then I did something: Nothing. I have no idea why this loop happens, but I wondered if the channel or the application could work its way out of it, maybe shutting itself down, like a lot of iOS programs do. So I waited. And waited. But I heard the same ten seconds or so. I let it go for a few minutes, and then I decided to heck with the game, I want to see what's going to happen.
I was doing other things and left the app on my phone on. Heard the same thing on a loop. Plugged it into the outlet to recharge the smart ... and I heard that thing, still. That's when I decided to take a nap in the evening. Slept about 3 1/2 hours before waking up around the turn of the day -- and Christ, that bang and the buzzer indicating the sub and the announcement of saying Michigan has a record of ... and then it gets cut off, that was all still going.
This was very disconcerting, but at this point I just wanted to see if this damn thing was going to go all night. I was going to cut this off in the morning to listen to Miller on Progress, but I was hoping it would self-correct. And yet ... I really wanted to see if this app would be so bad that I would wake up listening to it. So I turned down the volume, plugged in my HP tablet that is no more than an alarm clock these days (just in case this loop shuts down the phone and thus the alarm on it), and fell asleep.
Welp, it did shut itself off. Maybe the bad wi-fi at home cut off the loop. However ... when I got to my cube, and turned back on the app, it was on the channel it was where I left it, which was ESPN Xtra, and a few seconds later -- "Bang, here comes what's-his-name for Michigan, who come into this contest with a record of ... bang, here comes what's-his-name for Michigan, who. ..." So it stopped itself, only to be ready to boot back up as soon as I accessed the app. That is something the application should do; I just wished it didn't run around in circles with this endless loop. I had to change the channel to Stephanie Miller.
I don't know if it can be helped. I don't know if the SiriusXM app is bad. Crap, I just don't know.
Sometimes I got something weird. After changing the channel to either listen to music or a game, I would hear, oh, ten seconds of something, and then I would hear it again. It would play on a loop, which is something I had never heard before.
That had happened since, but it got ridiculous Wednesday. I wanted to listen to the Michigan-Illinois men's basketball game, and it got into this rut -- I think Michigan called for a sub, and then the play-by-play guy touched on the Wolverines' record, and then I noticed that a loud bang starts this snippet.
And then I did something: Nothing. I have no idea why this loop happens, but I wondered if the channel or the application could work its way out of it, maybe shutting itself down, like a lot of iOS programs do. So I waited. And waited. But I heard the same ten seconds or so. I let it go for a few minutes, and then I decided to heck with the game, I want to see what's going to happen.
I was doing other things and left the app on my phone on. Heard the same thing on a loop. Plugged it into the outlet to recharge the smart ... and I heard that thing, still. That's when I decided to take a nap in the evening. Slept about 3 1/2 hours before waking up around the turn of the day -- and Christ, that bang and the buzzer indicating the sub and the announcement of saying Michigan has a record of ... and then it gets cut off, that was all still going.
This was very disconcerting, but at this point I just wanted to see if this damn thing was going to go all night. I was going to cut this off in the morning to listen to Miller on Progress, but I was hoping it would self-correct. And yet ... I really wanted to see if this app would be so bad that I would wake up listening to it. So I turned down the volume, plugged in my HP tablet that is no more than an alarm clock these days (just in case this loop shuts down the phone and thus the alarm on it), and fell asleep.
Welp, it did shut itself off. Maybe the bad wi-fi at home cut off the loop. However ... when I got to my cube, and turned back on the app, it was on the channel it was where I left it, which was ESPN Xtra, and a few seconds later -- "Bang, here comes what's-his-name for Michigan, who come into this contest with a record of ... bang, here comes what's-his-name for Michigan, who. ..." So it stopped itself, only to be ready to boot back up as soon as I accessed the app. That is something the application should do; I just wished it didn't run around in circles with this endless loop. I had to change the channel to Stephanie Miller.
I don't know if it can be helped. I don't know if the SiriusXM app is bad. Crap, I just don't know.
Fuck You, Now You've Ruined Everything
So last night my boss asked me to stay late in order to help him with a task that he wanted to get done before today (Friday). I was reading off a list of numbers, and he needed to make sure that the numbers that he punched in corresponded to the right name; if it did, he could send it through.
So there's this name that was Asian. After telling me the name to make sure it matches up, he asks, "So, do you know him?"
Well, now you did it. You have ruined everything. Fuck you.
Offended, I couldn't do anything else except get up and go to the bathroom. And he didn't seem to get I didn't like his joke: "Oh, oh, I'm sorry, he's Japanese!" he told me on the way out. And the worst thing was, after I came back and all through the extra hours I stayed in order to get this done, he still didn't get it; he was pickin' and grinnin' like his joke was the best fucking thing he ever came up.
So now what? SO NOW WHAT?! My first instinct, to be honest with you, is to just cram this down, keep it to myself, and not come back next season. I have been angling to work at this place, and ideally for a job where he's my boss, but right now, that's the furthest thing from my mind. That asshole melted down on me at the flu biller place, and I never came back because of him. Haven't regretted it either. I got this job instead, and I thought I lucked out. Nope, that ain't true!
And I can't ask for an apology. "I think that's racist! I don't like what you said!" I mean, really? I'm supposed to rock the boat like that? I'll come off as the most hyper-sensitive pill ever. No, I can't go to HR or file a complaint or anything like that. That's too fucking weird.
And now, now, if somehow he does understand that maybe what he said wasn't, uh, polite, and he tries to apologize to me at work today, things will get even more awkward. Because a part of me just to forget the bullshit he said and just go on with things. Am I supposed to accept his apology? Because then the relationship we had will truly not be the same. I thought he was cool. That racist comment shows that he's not. But frankly, his apology, when he shouldn't have said that in the first fucking place, also shows he isn't cool. What I am supposed to do in that case?
And yet I'm hoping he does fucking man up and apologize to me, because him not getting really pisses me off. Arrgh!!! See how one fucking stupid comment ruins everything?? Why couldn't he just shut his goddamn mouth about this?
And now this dumb joke, and my reaction to it, are bringing up emotions and questions that I can't deal with. For example, I just went through my Instagram account and commented that I wanted to jerk off to every picture that should a hot lady with her ass hanging out of her thong. I know for a fact that someone would be offended by me saying that. And I also know for a fact that I have said things that have offended other people. If that's the case, why don't I apologize for that? Why shouldn't I be more sensitive to their feelings? Why can't my feelings be validated with feeling like I'm a hypocrite for feeling them?
And I have to tell you, shit like this is the reason I started this blog, because I cannot tell anyone about this, and that frightens me, because this is how sexual harassment occurs in the workplace. You're too ashamed to tell anyone about what happened. I work closely with someone who's been with this company, and with him, for three years now. I think I could confide in him, but if I do, I know either that would ruin the relationship he has with him ... or it would ruin the relationship he has with me.
See what I mean about this opening all a whole can of bullshit? I have been put into an awkward position, and anything I do to alleviate this awkwardness will probably lead me into other awkward positions! And all because my boss said something racist? Goddamn him!
And on top of all that ... he's treated me well. He's been busy with a lot of things, both at work and personally. But over the course of last season and (till now) this season, he's been forthright with my duties, been generous with buying us food because he knows he hasn't been so generous with his time, and (again till now) been a pretty good guy. See, I feel deeply offended by what he said, but I also cannot disregard all the good things he's done for me. And -- this might sound bad, but here goes -- I don't know if he thought I would be OK with a joke like that. You could say that it's his fault for not regarding my feelings when he cracked that joke. But I too have been in a situation where I didn't think what I said would be so hurtful to someone I thought would be "cool" with it. In most of those cases I apologized, because it wasn't my intent to hurt that person. But frankly, when I did that I'm sure I thought to myself, "Man, what's her/his deal?" and I distanced myself from that person, permanently, because I felt like I was walking around eggshells around that him or her, and life is too short to be dragged down by people who will call you out on every single thing you say.
And now the shoe is on the other foot.
Don't know what to do. I know that I won't ever feel the same about work ever again. This is where I, probably, start to emotionally detach myself from this place and the people who work there, slowly but passive-aggressively, so they know it while not being quite sure if it's happening. It's what I do. It's what I have to do. It's what I've always done because it's what I know to do.
So there's this name that was Asian. After telling me the name to make sure it matches up, he asks, "So, do you know him?"
Well, now you did it. You have ruined everything. Fuck you.
Offended, I couldn't do anything else except get up and go to the bathroom. And he didn't seem to get I didn't like his joke: "Oh, oh, I'm sorry, he's Japanese!" he told me on the way out. And the worst thing was, after I came back and all through the extra hours I stayed in order to get this done, he still didn't get it; he was pickin' and grinnin' like his joke was the best fucking thing he ever came up.
So now what? SO NOW WHAT?! My first instinct, to be honest with you, is to just cram this down, keep it to myself, and not come back next season. I have been angling to work at this place, and ideally for a job where he's my boss, but right now, that's the furthest thing from my mind. That asshole melted down on me at the flu biller place, and I never came back because of him. Haven't regretted it either. I got this job instead, and I thought I lucked out. Nope, that ain't true!
And I can't ask for an apology. "I think that's racist! I don't like what you said!" I mean, really? I'm supposed to rock the boat like that? I'll come off as the most hyper-sensitive pill ever. No, I can't go to HR or file a complaint or anything like that. That's too fucking weird.
And now, now, if somehow he does understand that maybe what he said wasn't, uh, polite, and he tries to apologize to me at work today, things will get even more awkward. Because a part of me just to forget the bullshit he said and just go on with things. Am I supposed to accept his apology? Because then the relationship we had will truly not be the same. I thought he was cool. That racist comment shows that he's not. But frankly, his apology, when he shouldn't have said that in the first fucking place, also shows he isn't cool. What I am supposed to do in that case?
And yet I'm hoping he does fucking man up and apologize to me, because him not getting really pisses me off. Arrgh!!! See how one fucking stupid comment ruins everything?? Why couldn't he just shut his goddamn mouth about this?
And now this dumb joke, and my reaction to it, are bringing up emotions and questions that I can't deal with. For example, I just went through my Instagram account and commented that I wanted to jerk off to every picture that should a hot lady with her ass hanging out of her thong. I know for a fact that someone would be offended by me saying that. And I also know for a fact that I have said things that have offended other people. If that's the case, why don't I apologize for that? Why shouldn't I be more sensitive to their feelings? Why can't my feelings be validated with feeling like I'm a hypocrite for feeling them?
And I have to tell you, shit like this is the reason I started this blog, because I cannot tell anyone about this, and that frightens me, because this is how sexual harassment occurs in the workplace. You're too ashamed to tell anyone about what happened. I work closely with someone who's been with this company, and with him, for three years now. I think I could confide in him, but if I do, I know either that would ruin the relationship he has with him ... or it would ruin the relationship he has with me.
See what I mean about this opening all a whole can of bullshit? I have been put into an awkward position, and anything I do to alleviate this awkwardness will probably lead me into other awkward positions! And all because my boss said something racist? Goddamn him!
And on top of all that ... he's treated me well. He's been busy with a lot of things, both at work and personally. But over the course of last season and (till now) this season, he's been forthright with my duties, been generous with buying us food because he knows he hasn't been so generous with his time, and (again till now) been a pretty good guy. See, I feel deeply offended by what he said, but I also cannot disregard all the good things he's done for me. And -- this might sound bad, but here goes -- I don't know if he thought I would be OK with a joke like that. You could say that it's his fault for not regarding my feelings when he cracked that joke. But I too have been in a situation where I didn't think what I said would be so hurtful to someone I thought would be "cool" with it. In most of those cases I apologized, because it wasn't my intent to hurt that person. But frankly, when I did that I'm sure I thought to myself, "Man, what's her/his deal?" and I distanced myself from that person, permanently, because I felt like I was walking around eggshells around that him or her, and life is too short to be dragged down by people who will call you out on every single thing you say.
And now the shoe is on the other foot.
Don't know what to do. I know that I won't ever feel the same about work ever again. This is where I, probably, start to emotionally detach myself from this place and the people who work there, slowly but passive-aggressively, so they know it while not being quite sure if it's happening. It's what I do. It's what I have to do. It's what I've always done because it's what I know to do.
Thursday, January 12, 2017
Expenses Without Receipts
Starting from Wednesday, January 11:
- Well, I need to go back to Monday the 9th for me to spend money, at least without receipts. After work I spent time at a library hammering out the end of my application. After not sending my app like I want to, I figured I shouldn't leave without printing out this Discount Dining Dollars coupon to Taco John's: 10 cents.
- Then I went to Old Chicago to watch as much of the College Football Playoff Championship Game as I could. I think I got there early in the Second Quarter and, after 2 1/2 hours, left early in the Fourth Quarter. OK, the bloat in the games once bowl season started has to be dealt with, because the title game lasting 4:08 is ridiculous. I mean, great game, and I love that Clemson upset Alabama because dynasties are bad, but come on. Had, like, two rounds of stuff to eat and only one beer to wash it down with and still didn't get to see the ending. With tip: $18.80.
- On Sunday the 8th I went to Caffetto to work on my app. Hot chocolate with tip: $3.
- After exercising I went to the library to make real estate copies and print something real estate-related out, both for Mother. Had to redo another copy because one came out too dark. Damn waste. Total was: 60 cents.
- The last thing I did (or at least theoretically) was to order pizza from Pizza Hut online. For that week they were running an offer whereby you could get pizzas for half off so long as you order online. Our usual order these days is two large pizzas with about five ingredients apiece. Pizza Hut now has a regular offer of any large pizza, regardless of the number of toppings, for only $10. So, two large pizzas, with tax, comes out to about $23. That means that under this deal, presumably, it would be half that, or $11.50. That wasn't really the case: A large cheese pizza costs around six bucks, but then every ingredient adds $1.06-7. So, these two pizzas actually come to be about $22 -- little savings if at all. Don't tell my folks this, but when they asked me how much it came out to, I fudged a little and said they were about $14 for both. Later that evening, after he lectured me about my future (again), My Fucking Father paid me back for the pies. An Infusion of: $15.
- Saturday, January 7: Went to Caffetto again. I mistakenly unplugged my computer as it was booting up. When I turned it on again, I permitted it to go through the computer check-up it usually wants to begin after it didn't shut down properly. That was a bad mistake: I spent 20 minutes waiting for it to boot up, and then for some goddamn reason everything ran slow, whether it was going on the Internet or bringing up my Word documents. After two hours and some idiot unplugging my computer, I left without doing a goddamn thing. I need a new computer. Anyway, hot chocolate plus tip: $3.
- On Friday the 6th Father paid me back for the pizzas I got that evening under this "deal," but a dollar less than what he gave me Sunday. Don't know why. An Infusion of: $14.
- Later that evening I went to a house party I was invited to by Katie a couple weeks back. We are not in touch in anyway -- no phone, no Facebook -- so I came partly on a whim. Well, they did have a party, and I was waiting to get a dance from her, but after some asshole cut in front of me and she retreated upstairs after giving a dance to him, I waited fucking 30 minutes before she came down, fully dressed, prepared to leave. And it felt as though she wasn't going to give me sumpin'-sumpin' anyway. I am plenty frustrated, so frustrated that I don't know if I'll go to her parties again. But at least I got a dance from Honey for all my troubles getting to this place. It's weird; I've seen Honey for oh, five years, and this is the first lapper I've ever gotten from her. She's kinky, albeit a bit unstable. Also, I can at least say I didn't spend a whole lot of money. With cover: $30.
- Went to Glam Doll afterward. Got the second donut for free. With tip: $8.27.
- All the way back to Monday, January 2 -- needed to find parking downtown to see our team. But even though most people had the day off, downtown parking meters behaved like it was a regular workday, so I had to avoid them. I eventually found a parking lot close by, one of those places where you had to stuff cash into a small envelope and scratch your license plate on it with a completely dull pencil. Had to pay: $7.
- After my alma mater's victorious win, I went to My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Edition) to celebrate. I even gave the guys there a curveball by asking for a Pabst Blue Ribbon. With tips and a dance from ****e: $32.25.
- On New Year's Day I finally put into storage consecutive-numbered dollar bills that were in perfect condition: $2.
- Let's go all the way back to last year ... Wednesday, December 28, to be exact, where I had that adventure of trying to go to the Theatres At Mall Of America on their last day in business. Total for Hooters, with tip: $17.40.
- Now, the final movie I will ever see there, Arrival ... I don't like it as much as most others. I think it's definitely a smart film, but it never struck me emotionally, so I can admire this flick without really loving it. And even though I'm no conservative, but the twist (which I saw coming midway through the film) leaves a sour taste in my mouth. It felt like a pro-feminist power move when I really wasn't expecting it, or wanting it. So, uh, a grade of B? The ticket cost six bucks because it was Wednesday, the small popcorn was $6.50, and I didn't want to buy a pop, so the total was: $12.50.
- On Monday the 26th I went out to Brit's Pub for Boxing Day English Premier League Soccer, first time in a long time I've done that. Service was terrible, even though it didn't appear as though there were enough servers and the ones that were were busy. OK, I just didn't get served as fast as I wanted to, so I went up to the bar and got a Bloody Mary on special. With tip it came out to: $6.
- That evening I fucked ***a*: $120.
- Christmas Eve ... started off at Caffetto ... mocha plus tip: $4.
- Then went to my alma mater's game-watching site to make sure that our group could go there on the 2nd to watch the game. It was cool. Had lunch there too. With tip: $16.50.
- After that I drove all the way to Southdale to do my customary tradition of walking around that beautiful, dignified mall and then go to the Cheesecake Factory to buy a couple slices. With my parents home I decided to call Father; he wanted one. One for him and one for me. Charged the cheesecakes, but the tip was real cash: $1.
- I then wanted to go to My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Version), but instead of closing at 6, like I thought, they closed at 3. I didn't want to go home so soon, so I went to Old Chicago to watch some football and needlessly eat food. But it's not a bad place to do both. With tip and midafternoon "tea" equaled: $12.
- On Wednesday, December 21 I bought a mocha at work and I gave the change to the donation box: 35 cents.
Wednesday, January 11, 2017
The Two Longest Work Commutes Ever, I've Taken The Past Two Days
My lengthy ride to work -- which at its longest goes about an hour and, in slow periods like the week between Christmas and New Year's, can be just under half an hour -- was made longer by a pair of snow storms this and yesterday morning. Yesterday's only dropped a couple inches, and I think this one this morning will as well. But because they came at the absolute worst time (during the morning commute), plus I don't think I've been totally acclimated to winter driving, plus I don't believe anyone else has totally acclimated to winter driving, plus I still am driving what I regard as a new car (which, BTW, I am driving through the winter for the first time) and so I really don't want to get into an accident, led me to make the decision to take side streets all the way from the north to the south metro. Not too long ago I thought that was impossible. But all I have to do is jog down Central, get to Washington, and take Cedar all the way to work.
Now, it takes a long time, and I certainly wouldn't use it in perfect weather. But for the shit hits the fan, like it did yesterday and it did today, no goddamn way will I risk driving a little fast on the highway just to hit a patch of ice, or some dumbfuck to think he can drive normally and rearend me. And if I'm late, I have the perfect excuse. It's one of the reasons I like working here.
I did not know, however, how backed up Central Avenue was going to be. Maybe other people are freaked out about driving 55 in this weather like I am, or maybe I just never drove through this stretch of road during morning rush. But for a good, oh, 2-3 miles I was stuck waiting, get this, 50 minutes to an hour. Only when a bunch of cars took a left onto University where traffic there loosened up. After that it got a little faster, even though after that gargantuan bottleneck I still had half the metro area to go through.
Yesterday I drove off at a quarter to eight -- when I normally leave home, which probably was a mistake knowing the slowdowns I know I would suffer through. I got to work a bit past 9:30. It took me an hour and 50 (although it could have been 40) minutes to get to work yesterday. That is the longest time I have ever taken to drive to work. And by God, it sucked. (And oh, by the way, I got stuck at a red light in one of those triangular intersections that are too old to be grided, and some asshole honked at me and then, while passing me by, looked and jerked his arm towards me like he was saying, "Get out of here!" We are in the middle of a fucking snowstorm, everybody's driving slow and stupid, and I'm the problem? Me, in a car that you easily drove past? Go fuck yourself pal. I wish I was to give him the finger after I honked at him. I should muster up the courage to do that next time.)
So that was soul-sapping. But at least I got to work in one piece, and safely. The drive home wasn't that bad; about 40-45 minutes in fact, which is typical. But we were inbetween snowstorms. The one that hit this morning similarly paralyzed cars, although the snow was drier and much less wet this time around. I also opted to take the same very slow way, though. The weather may not have been so bad this morning or people remembered how to drive from 24 hours ago, because I left at around 7:40 and got here at around a quarter after 9 -- 90, maybe 100 minutes. But again, I'm safe and sound.
I really hope a storm doesn't hit during morning traffic, like, ever again.
Now, it takes a long time, and I certainly wouldn't use it in perfect weather. But for the shit hits the fan, like it did yesterday and it did today, no goddamn way will I risk driving a little fast on the highway just to hit a patch of ice, or some dumbfuck to think he can drive normally and rearend me. And if I'm late, I have the perfect excuse. It's one of the reasons I like working here.
I did not know, however, how backed up Central Avenue was going to be. Maybe other people are freaked out about driving 55 in this weather like I am, or maybe I just never drove through this stretch of road during morning rush. But for a good, oh, 2-3 miles I was stuck waiting, get this, 50 minutes to an hour. Only when a bunch of cars took a left onto University where traffic there loosened up. After that it got a little faster, even though after that gargantuan bottleneck I still had half the metro area to go through.
Yesterday I drove off at a quarter to eight -- when I normally leave home, which probably was a mistake knowing the slowdowns I know I would suffer through. I got to work a bit past 9:30. It took me an hour and 50 (although it could have been 40) minutes to get to work yesterday. That is the longest time I have ever taken to drive to work. And by God, it sucked. (And oh, by the way, I got stuck at a red light in one of those triangular intersections that are too old to be grided, and some asshole honked at me and then, while passing me by, looked and jerked his arm towards me like he was saying, "Get out of here!" We are in the middle of a fucking snowstorm, everybody's driving slow and stupid, and I'm the problem? Me, in a car that you easily drove past? Go fuck yourself pal. I wish I was to give him the finger after I honked at him. I should muster up the courage to do that next time.)
So that was soul-sapping. But at least I got to work in one piece, and safely. The drive home wasn't that bad; about 40-45 minutes in fact, which is typical. But we were inbetween snowstorms. The one that hit this morning similarly paralyzed cars, although the snow was drier and much less wet this time around. I also opted to take the same very slow way, though. The weather may not have been so bad this morning or people remembered how to drive from 24 hours ago, because I left at around 7:40 and got here at around a quarter after 9 -- 90, maybe 100 minutes. But again, I'm safe and sound.
I really hope a storm doesn't hit during morning traffic, like, ever again.
Tuesday, January 10, 2017
Oh, I Forgot About The Application Fee
So I got everything having to do with the application done except the recommendations. But when I tried submitting it, it wouldn't accept it because it still needed, at the very least, people I have notified on the application to send recommendations. Well, that's a sticky wicket.
I think I did not take this as seriously as I could because I didn't want people to know that I was applying. But after I asked, sheepishly, admissions again about this, to which they told me that I had to put three contacts down on the app before I could submit it, I was at a crossroads: Either stop at this point and not even submit it, or bite the bullet, put down three names and shove this submission through.
So a few hours ago I texted all my friends, at least the ones who would understand me giving their personal information as, well, sham references for an application that had no chance of acceptance. Haven't given them the full story yet, but starting tonight I'll break it to them, and hopefully they'll forgive me. I did say they didn't have to do anything, even if they're prompted to send recommendations. If they feel that they should -- if they, in essence, are taking this application process more seriously than I did -- that may be a problem. But I'll cross that bridge when I get there.
Anyway, I was able to secure phone numbers and e-mail addresses, and so I was able to fill out the whole application. And then I submitted it ... only to be told to pay, gulp, $275. Goddamn, I totally forgot that when you send an admissions application, you have to pay. Totally forgot.
That should have stopped me. But you know what? In for a penny -- or, in my case, half a penny -- in for a pound. So even though I'm at work and the web browser told me it wasn't secure, I took out my wallet and entered information to permit my credit card to be charged $275 for an application that might be rejected 24 hours from now.
Why did I do it? Uh ... just to say that I did it? I did do some work, so I didn't want my app to be a total waste? So I can show My Father the rejection letter when it comes in the mail, so at least he knows that I actually did apply? (Actually, that might be a viable reason.) Right now I'm in shock that I just shelled out $275 I can't really afford to waste, so I'm grasping at excuses here.
I think I did not take this as seriously as I could because I didn't want people to know that I was applying. But after I asked, sheepishly, admissions again about this, to which they told me that I had to put three contacts down on the app before I could submit it, I was at a crossroads: Either stop at this point and not even submit it, or bite the bullet, put down three names and shove this submission through.
So a few hours ago I texted all my friends, at least the ones who would understand me giving their personal information as, well, sham references for an application that had no chance of acceptance. Haven't given them the full story yet, but starting tonight I'll break it to them, and hopefully they'll forgive me. I did say they didn't have to do anything, even if they're prompted to send recommendations. If they feel that they should -- if they, in essence, are taking this application process more seriously than I did -- that may be a problem. But I'll cross that bridge when I get there.
Anyway, I was able to secure phone numbers and e-mail addresses, and so I was able to fill out the whole application. And then I submitted it ... only to be told to pay, gulp, $275. Goddamn, I totally forgot that when you send an admissions application, you have to pay. Totally forgot.
That should have stopped me. But you know what? In for a penny -- or, in my case, half a penny -- in for a pound. So even though I'm at work and the web browser told me it wasn't secure, I took out my wallet and entered information to permit my credit card to be charged $275 for an application that might be rejected 24 hours from now.
Why did I do it? Uh ... just to say that I did it? I did do some work, so I didn't want my app to be a total waste? So I can show My Father the rejection letter when it comes in the mail, so at least he knows that I actually did apply? (Actually, that might be a viable reason.) Right now I'm in shock that I just shelled out $275 I can't really afford to waste, so I'm grasping at excuses here.
Monday, January 9, 2017
"Not Earnest?"
OK, so the jig is kind of up. Since I cannot get the correct number of letters of recommendation, I will not send any letters of recommendation. I will send my application without them, assuming that I even can. But without them (along with my moldy test scores), my app will certainly be rejected. I just hope they don't summarily reject it before the week is over, and when they do give me my rejection letter, I hope they let me down gently.
However, Stanford actually sent a reply to my questions today. They were very forthright in saying that any application without recommendations is severely damaged and won't be looked very favorably. However, if I do send this, my almost certain rejection won't be held against me if I try to apply another time ... at least that is what they said to me. Furthermore, this scholarship, whereby I can work here in Minnesota and therefore get my MBA education paid off, probably (though they emphasize it's not guaranteed) will be offered in the future. So I will send this application anyway, just as a trial run, trying to figure out the process of applying for school, and hopefully I will learn lessons from my mistakes and get my crap together the next time -- and I hope there is a next time.
I told the only person who could type up a letter, my boss. When I broke the news of what's going on with my app, he reacted in a way that ... well, it wasn't hostile, but this is kind of the first time he has said things to me that could even be construed as negative. He said that writing this recommendation when I will not have the two others it needs to be sent with is a "waste of time," and that's totally true; in fact, if he didn't come around, I wouldn't have brought it up, and I would have been happy if he just forgot about this.
But when he got around to the state of this application I'm going to send as soon as I figure out what to say in this final essay, he said that he does not want to spend time and energy writing something for an application that is, and I quote, "Not earnest." I kind of pushed back on that. Not earnest? I totally want to do this! My intention of doing the best I can for this application shouldn't be questioned at all! I just ... didn't know what to do. It's been more than a quarter-century since I did this applying thing, you know. And again, this application submission is a trial run; I want to exercise my thought process and organizational rigor this time around so I can do a better job next application season. That's earnest. That's totally earnest.
So, I wish he would've been more accurate about the application for which he now will not be attaching a letter of recommendation for. How about saying he doesn't want to waste his time writing a letter for an app that is ... earnest but half-ass? That I totally cannot disagree with.
However, Stanford actually sent a reply to my questions today. They were very forthright in saying that any application without recommendations is severely damaged and won't be looked very favorably. However, if I do send this, my almost certain rejection won't be held against me if I try to apply another time ... at least that is what they said to me. Furthermore, this scholarship, whereby I can work here in Minnesota and therefore get my MBA education paid off, probably (though they emphasize it's not guaranteed) will be offered in the future. So I will send this application anyway, just as a trial run, trying to figure out the process of applying for school, and hopefully I will learn lessons from my mistakes and get my crap together the next time -- and I hope there is a next time.
I told the only person who could type up a letter, my boss. When I broke the news of what's going on with my app, he reacted in a way that ... well, it wasn't hostile, but this is kind of the first time he has said things to me that could even be construed as negative. He said that writing this recommendation when I will not have the two others it needs to be sent with is a "waste of time," and that's totally true; in fact, if he didn't come around, I wouldn't have brought it up, and I would have been happy if he just forgot about this.
But when he got around to the state of this application I'm going to send as soon as I figure out what to say in this final essay, he said that he does not want to spend time and energy writing something for an application that is, and I quote, "Not earnest." I kind of pushed back on that. Not earnest? I totally want to do this! My intention of doing the best I can for this application shouldn't be questioned at all! I just ... didn't know what to do. It's been more than a quarter-century since I did this applying thing, you know. And again, this application submission is a trial run; I want to exercise my thought process and organizational rigor this time around so I can do a better job next application season. That's earnest. That's totally earnest.
So, I wish he would've been more accurate about the application for which he now will not be attaching a letter of recommendation for. How about saying he doesn't want to waste his time writing a letter for an app that is ... earnest but half-ass? That I totally cannot disagree with.
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