I Didn't Join In On The Zoom Sunday Night

I talked about my reticence in joining Zoom social meetings before.  I had another chance on Sunday night, even though this was happening on Labor Weekend.  That's because the thing that usually prevented me from joining this Zoom, joining this other Zoom call to work out this issue with my alma mater that meets around the same time, took a much-needed week off for the holiday.

So I didn't have any excuse not to join.  But the thing that actually prevented me from joining this Zoom -- me not wanting to -- reared its damn ugly head.

I had my now-usual evening nap where I fell asleep around 7 and woke up around 8:30 ... I had the United FC Match on the radio while I went unconscious and woke up listening to the end of it (where they finally by breaking a scoreless deadlock at Halftime with four Goals) ... and then, well, there was an NBA playoff Game on Channel 5, and I don't remember the last time an NBA playoff Game in this round (the second of four rounds) was shown on free television.  Sure, I wasn't looking at the TV because I decided to surf the Internet at the same time, but I was watching it.  All this time that meeting gnawed at me -- shouldn't I jump in and at least hang out for, I don't know, 30 Minutes, especially on an occasion where I didn't have my usual Sunday night conflict?

Well ... no, I didn't.  Not until around 9:45 or so, when I hopped on thinking that if they were still going on that late (it's scheduled to start at 7 and last till 9) they would be done soon so I wouldn't have to stay long, but knowing full well that they probably would already be done by then.  I saw no one.  Just for my selfish curiosity, I went on Facebook (where the announcements for these Zooms are posted on our social group page) and asked basically, "Hey, where is everybody?" to which someone who did join replied the next day that three people did meet up between 7 and 9.

So, alas, if I hopped on right after the soccer Game ended, I would've been on for ... well, they technically signed off a bit past 9, and soccer Games usually last a bit less than two Hours, so ... maybe 20 Minutes?  That's not a whole lot of time.  I wouldn't have felt confined or pressured into being social, at least not for long.  And I would have had plenty of time to get back to watching the basketball Game, which was close around the time I started tuning in before The Bastard Minneapolis Lakers surged back to put away Houston in the Fourth Quarter, the surge being the part I probably would have gotten back to watching if I had attended the Zoom.  But I didn't.

The person who replied to me on fb thought something came up.  I replied that something did.  But watching a Game while surfing the Internet shouldn't really count.

Next Sunday I have to go back to meeting with that other group.  I don't know when, or even if, I'll have another chance to make up for deciding I was going to be a recluse and not join in on this social Zoom when I had the unique opportunity to do so.  And I so regret it now, and I so hate myself now.