Don't Curse 2021. Feel Sorry For It.

I am trying to reach my friends to which I usually spend New Year's Eve.  But I haven't heard back from that yet.  Are they busy?  Has something bad come up?  Because, you know, it'd be nice if they at least acknowledge my message that I won't visit them.

The year 2021 has been kind of a blur.  Nothing big happened, but nothing bad happened.  All my family and friends are still alive and around, so in that sense I am very grateful.  Still have my main job, and I guess I probably will until I screw up royally or quit.  Still have my hobby job, and I extended it to college football and boxing.  And I still have my test scoring job.  Oh yeah -- 2021 was the first time I ever worked remotely, so that was new.  And while I enjoy not needing to go anywhere -- or dress -- I cannot say I am as productive as I would be if I were at a workplace.

It was kind of hard having my parents here all winter.  But I maintain that I would rather have them be here in Minnesota if they contracted COVID-19 rather than Las Vegas or, heaven forbid, a cruise ship.  Also, I will say that I can't remember if I had any blow-ups with them as a result of being stuck in the same house week after week.  It did help that the lockdown loosened, especially once the vaccine came out.

Oh yeah, the pandemic.  That sucked, but unlike in 2020, where I was in mortal fear of getting it because we didn't have what was tantamount to a cure, once my parents were able to get it, and then when I was able to get it in the spring, I felt a tad better that humanity and Earth could get this goddamn coronavirus behind us.  Well, that obviously isn't the case.  There are too many anti-vaxxers in this country (who also are anti-maskers and refuse to obey any non-pharmaceutical interventions in order to stop the spread of COVID) who are allowing this virus to mutate into a variant that is more able to evade our vaccines, like omicron (or Omicron -- I don't know if I should capitalize it).  Along those lines, the developed world needs to get this vaccine to developing countries ASAP.  We are an interconnected globe, and while I hate people who have all sorts of privilege refusing something that will help their fellow countrymen, it is on us to vaccinate those who have no means to either manufacture or pay for these vaccines.

(Aside: The continuing divide perpetrated by Republicans to gaslight correct-minded Americans, euthanize democracy and turn the United States into a white- and male-controlled dictatorship has only strengthened in 2021.  They are instrumental in this country's inability to get the pandemic behind us.  And, I'm afraid, they're winning.  If I have been on edge all year, part of it is because of the ongoing pandemic, and part of it is because of these selfish, irresponsible pricks.)

I think I stumbled upon an epiphany earlier this evening.  I hear a lot of people who want to say good riddance to 2021.  I understand.  But I think it's not necessarily its fault.  We don't hate 2020 because of the pandemic.  We're glad it's gone, but we had no idea how widespread and deadly this pandemic would become (even if experts were preparing us for the worst in late 2019), and we didn't know the measures we as Earthlings would undergo in order to save ourselves.  It was a once-in-a-generation surprise, in other words, and so we gave the year 2020 a mulligan.  It wasn't its fault.  Contrast that to this year, where we anticipated us killing this virus once the vaccines came.  The vaccines came, but the virus is as strong as ever (cities and states [including Minnesota] are breaking records for cases now, a fact I find ridiculous), and I and many other people are huddled at home instead of celebrating the New Year with family and friends tonight.  We expected 2021 to be much better than it turned out to be, and instead of blaming anti-vaxx assholes for basically siding with the coronavirus, we blame the year.

We shouldn't.  Instead, we need to point the blame where it really belongs, and spare the year.  Well, come to think of it ... that bastard 2021 has been busy killing before it dies.  It took Betty White, Sam Jones, and a member of The (New) Mickey Mouse Club today.  OK, fuck 2021.

Oh yeah ... look forward to going back to whoring in 2022, too.  I miss doing that and look forward to doing that again.

Happy New Year.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

Note: Since this is New Year's Eve, this is the last Weekly Minnesota Sports Sports Survey that will be published on Fridays.  As is custom, once the New Year rolls around, the WMNSS for 2022 will be published on the day of the week on which January 8 falls on -- therefore, Saturdays.  The next survey will encompass December 31, 2021 to January 7, 2022 in order to ensure that all Games played on New Year's Eve (of which there is only one) will be accounted for when I shift to the new day for the survey.

#-1: Timberwolves (Last Week: -3).  With the squad continuing to be racked by COVID-19, the Wolves, like many other clubs, have scrambled to find people to play for them.  Not only does that include G-Leaguers, but it also includes veterans who have washed out of the league.  Seriously, the wave of signings onto teams desperate to find bodies to play for them have been repeated blasts from the past.

The prime example for the Timberwolves?  Greg Monroe!  Part of me thought he retired.  Part of me thought he was still in the NBA.  He actually had not played in The Association since 2019, after which he bounced around to Germany and China.  This Year, he got into the G-League (or, as I want to refer to it from now on, the "Gleague") but got signed by Minnesota to a ten-day contract after the outbreak on the team.

His first Game was Monday at home versus Boston, a team he played for for a few Months.  I caught part of the contest while working out, and I'll be goddamned, but I think he needs to be a part of this team moving forward.  Seriously.  He was running point off the high block for much of the Game, and he had close to a Triple-Double (eleven Points, nine Rebounds, six Assists) as he was instrumental in the Timberwolves' 108-103 Win over the Celtics.  They don't win without him.  Now, they followed that up the next night with a 96-88 home loss to New York, but whatevs.  They sit in ninth place in the Western Conference, which means they would be in the Play-In Tournament, and this franchise has been so awful that even that stage of the post-season (well, technically it's not the post-season) seemed like a wild, unfounded fantasy to think they could reach.

I have to say, though, that this team has improved -- maybe not as much as the talent on paper would lead you to believe, but they're improving.  And that leads to speculation that these guys could get better if they just make a trade.  I ran across a Twitter account called Timberwolves Clips (I don't think they're affiliated with the organization at all) which yesterday/Thursday afternoon went through a series of at-least possible (if not plausible) trades the Wolves can make.  Many of the trades involve shipping out Naz Reid and Taurean Prince for some reason, so maybe the person running the account has kind of gotten stuck with a certain way of thinking.  But there are some names which I could see greatly improving this squad: Eric Gordon, Jae'Sean Tate from Houston, Cam Reddish from Atlanta, Marvin Bagley from Sacramento.  The big one, I think, is Myles Turner from Indiana.  The Pacers have let it be known that they're conducting a fire sale on the roster, and Turner could be the 5 that allows Karl-Anthony Towns to finally get away from the rim on defense (which he has not really been interested in working on) and begin picking and popping from deep.  Timberwolves Clips say that Turner will cost the club Reid, Prince, Josh Okogie and their First-Round pick (although the handle says it should be protected down to the top five picks).  The big hang-up with doing this trade, or any trade for that matter, is that the Wolves are hard up against the cap, and there is no reason to believe the organization will be willing to pay any luxury tax.  But as far as trades go, I would really, really like this.

They're in Utah tonight/New Year's Eve to take on the Jazz.  That begins a three-Game road trip with a stop in Los Angeles to face The Team That Was Stolen From Us v.1.0 and the Clippers.  They then have a home-and-home with The Bastard Seattle SuperSonics.

#-2: Vikings (Last Week: -2).  I know they played The Los Angeles Chargers back on November 14, but I have wanted to say this for some time but didn't want to do it when there were so many entries on the WMNSS that I just didn't have the time.  But now that there are only two teams playing this screening Week, I have time to get this off my chest.

There should be more outrage, or at least more askance glances, over the 17-Game season the NFL appears to be going with for the foreseeable future.  It's not the increased length of the regular season that bothers me; I'm actually OK with that.  It's that it's now an odd number.  Seriously.  Why is the regular season an odd number?  Can anyone name any sports league on Earth that has a regular season with a scheduled (I'm not talking about instances of baseball teams not reaching an even number of Games because rainouts late in the season aren't made up) odd number of Games?  You can't.  Because playing an odd number of Games is weird.  Not just weird, it's fucked-up.

The main reason it's fucked up is because it doesn't provide an equal number of home and road Games.  That seems like an inviolate rule when it comes to a league's regular season: You are given the same number of Games at home as you play away from home.  It's only fair.  But instead the NFL takes this half-ass step of not adding a home and a road Game and instead giving one conference an extra home Game (this Year it's the AFC, next Year it's the NFC).  For the Vikes it meant an extra road Game at the Chargers.  Ultimately it didn't matter because Minnesota won ... and also, and I won't be dissuaded from believing this, the Chargers have no fans and so the Vikings were playing in front of a crowd that was majority theirs.  Still, it's unbalanced and therefore it's unfair.  And more people should be pissed off that some teams get an extra home Game and some don't.  That more football fans aren't up in arms over this is another sign that Americans are lazy and therefore this country is ripe to be taken over by a dictatorship.

OK, rant over.  They hosted The Bastard Cleveland Rams and, like they have way too often this season, they were close enough to win but didn't make enough plays and they lost, 30-23, thereby suffering a huge blow to their playoff chances.  The neckbreaker of the tilt was a Rams Touchdown on a Punt.  But once again, both the Offense and the Defense have to take their share of the blame: The former couldn't convert on Third Down and in the Red Zone, and the latter yielded in one big category, in this case the running game.

Now they go to Lambeau Field and face the Green Bay Packers.  Sunday night football, vs. a team that is still seeking the top seed in the NFC and the bye that goes with it, headed by a Quarterback having yet another monster season and has the pettiness to want to stick a dagger in the playoff chances of a division rival?  And the Vikings charge into Green Bay without Adam Thielen, who's out for the rest of the Year?  Bye-bye playoffs -- and probably bye-bye to Mike Zimmer and Rick Spielman.

Continued Testing Hysteria

So continuing on from the huge-ass lines I saw to get tested for COVID earlier this month ... I was able to get tested without too much of a wait the first time after this blog post.  I think I then went to the Minneapolis Convention Center for my next test last week, and even around lunchtime back on Friday, there was a half-hour wait.  Still, not bad, and both tests turned out to be negative.  Phew!

But this testing thing is something I think I'll need to keep doing.  Stupid, selfish people still surround me.  Monday night I went to work out, and I saw two people in the exercise room when I got there, the first time in the pandemic it was that crowded.  One of them, a small but fit spitfire of a woman, nonetheless had this off-putting braggadocio that makes me think she's anti-vaxx af.  She was running on the treadmill, dropping and doing push-ups, and blasting out modified sit-ups on the yoga mat -- all while unmasked.  Because she was unmasked, I kept my mask on the whole time, even after she left.  She gave off an annoying vibe, but I might be thinking that because she hoarded the remote while I wanted to watch Monday Night Football.

Anyway, it is that interaction, as well as others, that prompted me to get another test in before 2021 dies, although, to be fair, I wanted to get one anyway.  I worked out again last night, but the testing center isn't too far out of the way, so I figured I could drop by there before exercising.

Except that I couldn't.  When I parked and walked up to the entrance, I saw a bunch of people milling out in front of the entrance.  When I got to the entrance, the doors were locked.  The place closes at 7 on weeknights, and I (well, we) were there before then.  It's not as if I can file a complaint to the Minnesota Department of Health for this blindside closing.  I just hope they had a damn good reason to lie and shut their doors early, like running out of tests.  And I'm still not completely sure why everybody wants a test now.  My theory about people now needing proof of a negative test still stands.  But maybe the real fear about this new variant is freaking people out?

---

In the meantime, these stories of the Omicron variant infecting people that are fully vaccinated and boosted, plus the sudden slew of large events being cancelled as a result of people getting infected, has prompted me to re-think whether to do my annual tradition of spending the evening with my friends and their family to ring in the New Year.  I'm sure they're not anti-vaxx, and the total at most will be a dozen.  But we'll be indoors, and there will be a lot of talking and shouting, and all types of viruses can be transmitted when you get a bunch of kids together.  I hate not going there for a second straight year, because I love spending New Year's Eve and Day there.  But it just might be too dangerous.

Great, Now I Can't Forget The Last Shot Of Saint Maud

I was looking at the website called The Ringer and got sucked into clicking on a story about The Best Movies Of The Year.  There were two lists because two writers expounded on their favorites.  For one, the tenth best was Saint Maud, a psychological/religious horror film.  And I got sucked in by the kind of line that always sucks me in: Paraphrasing, "The last shot of the movie is one I still remember."  (It was supposed to be released in the United States in April 2020, but pandemic, so it was shelved but finally had a brief and limited run back in late January before being sent straight to video and streaming in mid-February.)

I'm no horror fan, but I am a fool for lines like that.  What kind of last shot would be so indelible that it's branded in your brain?  So I went on YouTube to see if the last shot of Saint Maud was on there.  And it was.

Prepare to see something that'll haunt you for the rest of your goddamn life.

Yeah, I saw that -- and I thank Buddha above that I saw it with my laptop muted; if I had heard what I saw, I probably wouldn't sleep for a week -- and I immediately regret it.  And then I Googled "Saint Maud last scene" and nearly all the links on the first page are riffs on, "The last scene is something I will never, ever forget."  Oh, so everybody has that last shot burned in their minds' eyes?  Wouldn't that be information I would have liked to have known before seeing it?

Pray for me as hard as Maud does that I get to go to sleep tonight.  Shit. ...

Am I Afraid Of The Blower?

So it snowed Sunday night.  A few inches ... well, at least I think it was a few inches.  The storm ended with freezing drizzle, and I think that capped and even melted some of the snow that fell.  Interesting to see the effect of that freezing drizzle.  It gave the snowpack a crusty top, sort of like French onion soup; going to work yesterday morning I saw the light from the houses around me bounce its reflection off the new snow.  The snow had a matte finish to it, which is very interesting.  Also interesting is the way your feet doesn't just fall into the snow but is resisted by it, at least for a nanosecond, by the freezing drizzle up top.  Once you break through, any snow/ice you kick around sounds like broken glass.

Anyway, we got a bit more than three inches Sunday night.  Over the day today another inch or two is going to fall.  (Phew; before Christmas meteorologists thought it could give us three-to-five inches.)  Roads probably will be hell, so I hope to survive getting home in one piece and hope my heart doesn't burst through my chest from all the stress and anxiety.  (I also hope I can drive up my driveway, even if it is just an inch or two of new snow.)  I've shoveled parts of the driveway so it looks a bit, uh, "brokedown" (is that the wrong thing to say?  Is that even a word anybody understands?), but honestly, I just wanted to plow a way for my car's tires to drive down and up.  Everything else can wait.

Well, can't wait any longer.  Besides a chance for flurries Thursday, no big and measurable snowstorms are coming for a while.  I used the relative back-to-back storms as an excuse not to use the snowplow on my driveway, but after this storm clears -- and, also a change from earlier warnings, it will pass in the early evening and not the heart of the evening like originally forecasted -- all the snow that is going to fall will have fallen, and so it's time to clear out the, what, four-to-six inches of snow?

Last night I went to the garage and took a look at the snowplow.  I was going to put gas in, but apparently Father has already filled it.  Now, it's just a matter of remembering how in the hell you're supposed to work it.  Then, some time this evening, I will plow.  Hopefully.  Maybe.

You see, I could have used the snowblower Sunday night, when it looked really bad out there.  But I came up with a bunch of excuses: There will be more falling overnight and so what I'm doing is going to be useless; I'm tired from working the Vikings Game; there will be another snowstorm two days from now and so I can sweep it all up in one fell swoop then; etc.  They're all valid, but I hate to admit that the reason I didn't use the blower Sunday night, and why I'm reluctant to use it tonight, is because I'm afraid it'll break down on me.

It has before.  Now, I've blog posted here on WAF when it does work and how much of a fucking man I feel once the driveway is clear.  But I also have bad memories of it not starting, or not being able to start it once I turned it off.  And it will be the first time I use it this winter.  Will it work?  I don't know if I want to know if it doesn't, because then that would mean I put my faith in a machine that let me down.  And deep down, I think that's the main reason why a part of me is OK with shoveling a part of the driveway and just driving on top of the stuff I don't want to clear: I hate being disappointed.

Well, I guess we'll see if my fears are grounded in truth tonight.  Might as well use the snowblower and see if it conks out and gives me yet another bad memory.

Planning Out The Last Week Of 2021

I have been anxious because the forecast called for a couple bouts of snow, the second of which will finally be followed by the usual cold snap that will finally plunge us below zero.  Now that I know the timing and the amount -- and now that I know that the first goddamn snowfall I'll be stick around for is finally here -- I can at least plan my week, and allow time for my anxieties to take over my soul.

I drove the minivan around the block.  I was afraid the thing would overheat before I made it back.  But not only was I fine, it didn't really warm up even as I parked it back on the driveway.  I revved it up a couple times to get it to what I think is its maximum temperature on the thermostat if everything was fine.  But I didn't want to stay there and wait when I had my traditional Christmas Eve shopping sojourn (lunch at Hooters followed by picking up Cheesecake Factory at Southdale) and I already pushed everything back.  However, I popped the hood and saw that the antifreeze I poured into the reserve tank was nearly all gone.  I swear the last time I checked it, it was more than full.  That convinces me that even if everything is fine with the radiator, I want to have it checked with someone, and probably The Mechanic Around The Corner because I still don't know if I can drive the minivan any farther before it overheats.

I then have to plan on a day to bring it in, probably after work (they'll keep it overnight, hopefully they'll investigate in the morning, and anything they need to fix can be done some time in the afternoon, then I'll pick it back up when I get back from work).  It was going to be this week, but since I'll be busy shoveling snow not once but twice this week (let alone worrying about sliding around in an old minivan), I'll just wait until next week and pray my car makes it on its own.  I wish I could get this problem -- and, more importantly, my anxiety -- behind me as soon as I can, but the winter storms will make that impossible, and at least I have clarity as to what I cannot do this week.

New Year's looms at the end of the week.  I don't think it's as fraught with stuff I plan on doing, even though there is stuff I plan on doing.  Unless they have an outbreak of COVID-19, I will be back to ringing in the New Year with my high school friends and their kids.  My favorite Hooters waitress was not around last Friday/Christmas Eve, so I'll probably go back there this Friday/New Year's Eve in the hopes of seeing her.  And maybe before or after I'll pop by ***e* so she can give me a handjob.  This limbo week, the last week of the year, the one between Christmas and New Year's, is weird in that there is a certain segment of the population that has or will take the whole week off, so in essence it still feels like holiday season.  And besides, I have Friday off, so I can do all the above things.  So I have that going for me.

I just have to find time to figure out what to eat and when.  The most pressing concern right now, and I know this is kind of shallow, is to complete this "task" the Chipotle app gave me where they'll reward me with beaucoup points if I order each of the five, uh, "vehicles" in which to eat Chipotle -- burrito, burrito bowl, salad, tacos and quesadilla -- by New Year's Day.  I thought I already did it, but I haven't gotten the points yet, and I don't know which of the "vehicles" I have to purchase again in order to finally get those points.  And I have to decide which days to buy Chipotle, and I have to order it around the days I need to get home and plow/shovel.

Now, add that to the perishable food I bought -- the two cheesecakes I still have, the prosciutto and cheeses, the lemons and limes for the alcohol I'm making for myself -- and I have to plan, probably more carefully than I am now, what to eat and when.  Because, damn, it's a lot.  And maybe I bit off more than I can chew.  So there's eating out and getting the minivan fixed and, well, maybe this last week of 2021 is going to be busier than it should be.  Sigh.

What I Missed This Christmas

So I caught the Corona "lighting up the palm tree" commercial just yesterday; saw it once, then saw it (I think) two more times.  But did anyone see the Hershey's Kisses commercial where the Kisses were bells?  Do they play that advertisement anymore?

And I missed A Charlie Brown Christmas, the best of the Peanuts three holiday specials.  It was just before Halloween that I learned that all three specials had been shunted from ABC to AppleTV, but outcry convinced the streaming service to allow each to be shown on PBS -- once, I think on the Sunday evening before each respective holiday.  I caught A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving -- well, the latter part of it once I realized what time it was -- but not the other two.  I still remember when CBS showed them.  I got over it moving to another network, but then it went to a paid service, and then to free TV when it's only shown around the same time as football?  Sorry, can't do it.  I believe all three specials should remain on free television as tradition, but I guess not enough people agree to keep the ratings up.

So those are the two things I missed this Christmas.

This Year's Christmas Song Spotlight Is ...

... "Christmas Wrapping," by The Waitresses.

I didn't know which Christmas song to highlight this year.  But as I was going through my e-mail a few hours ago, I ran across this story from reporter Lyndsey Parker of Yahoo! Music about the song, its interesting history and, unfortunately, the premature end of the band and the unfair early death of the frontwoman, the troubled Patty Donahue.  Give it a read; it's interesting, although sad.

Christmas songs are almost universally happy.  There are many somber Christmas songs, though very few are popular enough to listen to every holiday season (Pearl Jam's "Let Me Sleep [It's Christmas Time] remains an underrated classic).  But tart Christmas songs?  I don't know if there is more than one, but if there is, "Christmas Wrapping" is the first.  And it remains singular when it comes to lyrical content and story.  The Waitresses are considered to be a new wave/pop-punk band, but I would submit that this may be the most popular alternative holiday song out there.

I read this last year in this Guardian article, authored by Dave Simpson: Waitresses founder, principal songwriter, and guitarist Chris Butler (the band was formed in Akron, Ohio and he moved back there) makes a donation to the Akron-Summit County children's library every holiday season in the name of the first person to tell him he or she heard "Christmas Wrapping" on the radio.  Cool.

Here's the single version:

And this is the album/long version:

Once again, folks: Happy Holidays/Merry Christmas!

Christmas 2021 Thoughts

Before sitting down on my laptop in the dining room, I looked out through the small window to my left.  It is cloudy; I don't see the sun penetrating through at all.  The steam is coming up and through my neighbors' chimney, so it is cold.  (Just checked: 20 degrees as I type this.)  This is a perfect winter/Christmas Day.  I should appreciate it.

---

I have resumed my Christmas Eve tradition of going to South Minneapolis to partake in Scotch and Irish whiskey.  Driving home, I wanted to note how quiet it was on the road, but that was hard to tell.  First of all, I don't remember how traffic was like in previous Christmas Eves/Days, probably because I didn't make a point of noting it.  Saying that, I think it was as quiet as it would be on a late weeknight, and quieter than a weekend night.  Now, last night was a Friday night, so compared to a usual Friday night, last night was extremely quiet.

Unfortunately, there were a couple pricks who took advantage of the relatively quiet highway and drove like maniacs.  I believe what they said was true: The beginning of the pandemic emboldened some people into driving faster and more recklessly because there were fewer drivers out on the roads, and they haven't stopped even after the worldwide lockdown was lifted.  Hrmph.

---

I may have spoken about this before, but even if I have, I'll say it again.  Ever since, oh, Black Friday, I have kind of anticipated/girded myself over the coming of Christmas.  But when I sat down to my, oh, second dram of whiskey, seeing the last minutes of Christmas Eve melt away, I was already looking past Christmas to the last week of the year, New Year's, and then, well, what is coming in 2022.  I don't want to call Christmas an "obstacle"; I really am enjoying waking up when I want, doing what I want, and not opening up the door even one time.  But this is The Most Important Holiday Of The Year, and yet once the clock struck midnight, and really even at the 11 o'clock hour of Christmas Eve, I felt as though Christmas Day was already over.  I kind of feel it even now; listening to the holiday songs, for example, seem kind of out of place, even though it is Christmas Day.  Maybe Christmas Eve is more important that Christmas Day -- maybe?

---

I'll select a song later tonight.  Hope it won't feel too late.  But I am going to make spaghetti now.

Happy Holidays/Merry Christmas, everyone.

So Where Exactly Is Santa Right Now, Huh???

So I was just checking the Santa Tracker provided by Google and, as of 7:30 p.m. Central Time Santa was around Swansea, in Wales.  But according to NORAD, he was in Guyana and headed to Trinidad and Tobago.  So, was Santa in the United Kingdom or headed to the Caribbean?  Which side of the Atlantic is he on?

More importantly, if these two trackers can't agree where Santa is ... IS SANTA REAL???

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#-1: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: 0).  I am still skeptical that the team's 10-1 record is an illustration of its true strength (with apologies to Bill Parcells), and even if they crash and burn in conference play it doesn't matter because of my First-Year Coach Proviso.  But Wednesday afternoon's clash vs. Wisconsin-Green Bay -- a Game that was moved up from 7 to 4 because, I guess, of the Big Ten Network, and so I missed the first four Minutes of this tilt because of work -- was an indication of, I think, a different way of doing things from The Richard Pitino Era and, possibly, a coaching staff that might get it.

The Phoenix actually led at Halftime, 29-28, through Three-Pointers and Offensive rebounding.  Not great, of course.  But through almost the first four Minutes of the Second Half, the Golden Gophers outscored Wisconsin-Green Bay 12-2 and they never looked back.  Halftime adjustments are magic when it comes to winning Games, and it's a sign that coaching knows what it has and what can be done to take control of play.  People who know what to change is a great asset.  And now Minnesota is being mentioned as part of the NCAA Tournament field -- not the Play-In Games, the actual field.  That's why I'll put these guys on top (although not above Positive Numbers because, well, it is just Wisconsin-Green Bay).

Final non-con, and it's a bodybag Game: Alcorn St. at The Barn Wednesday evening.

#-2: Vikings (Re-Entry!).  I thought these Vikes would underachieve at Chicago because they have traditionally underachieved at Chicago.  I was so convinced of that that, before I left Las Vegas, I bet $100 that the Bears would upset Minnesota.  I was as sure of that bet as I was of any other I made while I was there.

Well, I was wrong.  (I was wrong about a lot of bets I made.  I'll talk about that in a blog post in the near future.)  They beat Chicago Monday night, 17-9.  It was a Win in which the Vikings were ... well, I won't say they were never in danger of losing the Game, but for most of it Chicago, through Penalties and Turnovers, kept shoving the Game into their arms.  But that score makes you think that a better club would have beaten the Bears by at least 20, you know?  So in that sense, this victory should give you even less confidence that this squad is "putting things together."

And sure, they're technically in the last NFC playoff spot, and that's why they take second place here.  But Sunday they host The Cleveland-By-Way-Of-St. Louis Rams, the NFL's version of Showtime, and even though they've been imperfect in reaching 10-4, this is a Game where I'm afraid they'll come into Das Bank and blow out the Vikes.  Moreover, the Vikes will go into this Game without Dalvin Cook, who is an anti-vaxxer and got pinched for COVID.  I've got to say: Kirk Cousins is also anti-vax, but he hasn't entered the league's health and safety protocols yet.

#-3: Timberwolves (Last Week: -1).  Extended their winning streak to four after home Wins over The Team That Was Stolen From Us v.1.0 and Dallas, but have since dropped Games at said Mavericks and Utah.  Last/Thursday night's Game may be an omen; seven Wolves were out due to "Health & Safety Protocols," including four of the squad's starting five, including Karl-Anthony Towns (recently named Western Conference Player Of The Week) getting COVID-19 for the second time.  There has been talk that the NBA might loosen testing protocols because they say too many vaccinated players who are asymptomatic are being forced to sit out.  I kind of think that's dangerous, but that would theoretically allow a team to get their players back faster, and isn't that the whole point?

Only Games scheduled this Week come back-to-back at Target Center: Boston Monday, New York Tuesday.

#-4: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -3).  Got drubbed at Drake yesterday/Thursday afternoon as they got outscored by the Bulldogs in the Second Half, 50-36.  They've lost their first two Games in B1G play and they're 7-7 overall.  Usually, even the worst BcS school in-conference runs up the victories in the non-conference section of their schedule.  Of course, many BcS schools would schedule all tomato cans instead of the likes of Connecticut, North Carolina, and even Drake.

Off until New Year's Eve afternoon when they host Northwestern.

#-5: Wild (Last Week: -4).  Well, now these guys are in a slump -- a halting, stuttering one, but a slump nevertheless.  The club had three Games scheduled this screening Week, and the two that Minnesota was going to host (versus Florida and Detroit) has been postponed.  To be clear: Both contests were postponed because of COVID-19 outbreaks on the Panthers and the Red Wings, not on the Wild.

The only Game that got to play was in Big D, and they got whipped by The Bastard North Stars on Monday, however.  Not only have they now lost four in a row, on the WMNSS, this team gets docked if they lose to The Team That Was Stolen From Us.  And now Joel Eriksson Ek is out, possibly for a while.  They still seem to be in a good position to make the playoffs, but they have a tricky Game in Winnipeg on Monday.  This team obviously is not playing well right now.

#-6: Whitecaps (Re-Entry!).  What may be the most overlooked story in Twin Cities sports -- assuming you care -- is the sudden shitty play of the Whitecaps.  They got swept by the Toronto Six over the weekend in the Twin Cities (4-0 Saturday night at TRIA Rink they're usual home, 2-1 Sunday afternoon at the Roseville Ice Arena).  They've lost five in a row and now sit at 1-7.  They were the Isobel Cup losers last Year, and now they're horrible.  What the fuck is going on with this club right now?  They're done for the next couple Weeks, and they seem to need it desperately.

Cross Your Fingers ... I'm Hanging Out With Friends Tonight

In a couple hours I'll be doing what probably is The Longest Christmas Tradition I Have, hanging out with my friend at the Walker, then enjoying a large dinner.  This time, however, two other people -- one of whom I've known since elementary school, the other I may have hung out with a previous year when we've done this -- are tagging along.

Oh, and of course there's this COVID "thing."  Last year we did our thing remotely, through the phone and online.  It worked, but it wasn't the same, so we were looking forward to going back to "normal" this year.  Except, of course, we're still not back to normal, or even "normal."  And now with this Omicron variant sweeping the globe, what we are doing, I'm afraid, is risky.  At some point we all have to evaluate our risk tolerance, and by doing this, I am, well, taking a risk.  But while I can beat my chest about double-masking and being vaccinated and boosted, well, we are going to have dinner, where we're going to eat and talk and, of course, we'll have to do all that with our masks off.  Could we get it?  Definitely.

But I'm going anyway.  Cross your fingers that we have fun and suffer no consequences in the morning.

You Know, It All Worked Out

So I was freaked out that, when I left for Vegas, I would be leaving the house all alone.  What happens if, for example, there's a water leak?  It's happened before, both with a pipe and with the humidifier, and although it didn't flood the basement, the boiler room got pretty soaked, and with me being gone for a few days, the basement could get flooded.  Also, what happens if someone breaks in?  It's happened before, and with the house being dark for a few days, who's to say someone in the neighborhood isn't going to roll by a third time to make sure the coast is clear, then take us for what we're worth?

And on top of all that, a goddamn snowstorm came through Friday night.  I guess it would could have been worse and come in Saturday morning, as I was leaving.  But I woke up an hour early to see that 5 1/2 inches of snow fell between Friday afternoon and the following morn.  I actually picked up a shovel and tried to shovel the driveway before I had to go catch the bus on the way to the light rail that would get me to the airport.  I think I got done one row at the very bottom of the driveway before I just frickin' quit.  I regret not taking out the snowblower and clearing what had fallen that evening.  But it was only 2 1/2 inches at most, and I thought shoveling most of the driveway was going to be good enough because the amount of snow from that point onward wasn't going to be debilitating.  Besides, I was anxious to finish packing and getting a good night's sleep.  In a sense, I should have worried more.

I got back Tuesday evening about 90 minutes later than scheduled.  We were taxiing from Austin to MSP for an hour because of, and I may be mistaken, a mislabeled piece of luggage.  I also think I was late catching a bus that I otherwise would have caught if I didn't take a pit stop in the bathroom before hiking it down to the LRT.  I thus had to wait 20 minutes before getting the bus I wanted.  So, tired and a bit agitated, I walked gently on the ice and snow, then trundled up the inches of snow that still lain on my driveway (even though that day and the day before had highs that went above freezing).  I jammed my key (I took both keys of my main car, just in case someone broke in; if they wanted my car, they couldn't have it because I took both copies), opened the door, threw down my shit and hurried down to the basement.  Nope, no water.  Looked in the boiler room -- nope, no leaks.  And I went all around the ground floor and then the top floor for any broken windows or guys laying in wait for me.  But ... no.  There was nothing, nothing except ... everything where I left it.

OK, so the basement didn't flood and no one broke into the house.  But there was still the matter of clearing the driveway of snow.  While some of it melted because of the relatively high temperatures that day and the day previous, what was left had become icy and sticky because of the melt-freeze cycle throughout the days I was gone.  I tried digging that snow out, but halfway through I quit.  I was going to clear the rest of the driveway when I got home from work the following day.

Now, I was told even before I left for Las Vegas that this following day, Wednesday, was going to be an abnormally warm one.  I don't remember if we reached 60, but I know we reached the upper fifties the following day, and I thought that even though that would help with the snow, I would still have to spend time shoveling what remained.

Oh, no, I didn't.  I got home and saw that my driveway was completely bare.  The couple of inches or snow I left on the driveway was no match for temperatures you would see in the spring, I guess.  Didn't think all of it would melt.  I was wrong, blissfully wrong.  So hey, thank God for climate change, amirite?!

So no flooding, no break-in, and no backbreaking shoveling.  The house remained intact and safe, and I was unburdened by so many things that bedeviled me.  So yeah, it all worked out.  That makes me glad.

I have been extremely tired lately.  So tired that I have listened to my body and, for the past two nights, shut everything down and went to bed much earlier than usual.  Usually I get in, like, four hours of sleep, but I think Monday night I crashed around midnight (maybe, I really don't remember), and last night (and I'm more certain about this) I crashed around 10:30.  I felt great waking up, but I still had to take in a nap.

Wonder if it's just the Winter Solstice and the rhythms of the season finally getting to my body.  Or, it might be COVID and this scary new Omicron variant.  I plan to get tested tomorrow.

The good thing about this week is that today is my last day working.  I have this Gopher men's basketball Game suddenly at 4 this afternoon, but after that, I'm done for the week.  I can go to sleep and wake up any time I want.

Goddamn, Everything's Breaking Down On Me Now

I just want to wash all the dirty clothes I've accumulated since my parents left.  And I want to do it the right way, by separating my whites from my coloreds, and then following the instructions and washing all those in cold water/tumble dry low together, washing those in warm water/tumble dry medium together, etc.

I was doing my delicate coloreds, wash in cold water, when the (relatively) new washer apparently stopped mid-cycle.  I was busy upstairs making dinner and preparing for Tuesday Night Football and went downstairs when I thought it got done washing.  But it didn't.  The damn thing kept beeping while I went on my phone to see what the hell "4C2" means.  They told me that means there's a problem with the cold water hose ... ?  The instructions are to disconnect the pump.  Are you kidding me?  I just turned it off and turned it on again, and then I turned the washer to the rinse & spin cycle, and I put it on cold water (I think) ... and I checked on it a bit later and there was water in the tub.

So, maybe it's good?  I have one final load to wash, however, whites wash in warm water/tumble dry medium.  If the damn washing machine gets stuck again, I'll complain about it here.  And if it doesn't get stuck, I might talk about the busted radiator on my parents' radiator again.

I Am The Parlay King!!! (Part One)

Now that my schedule has gone down from insane to busy, I will try and recollect my experiences in Las Vegas, from which I returned almost a week ago.

When in Rome, do what the Romans do, so yes, I succumbed to gambling while I was there, and mostly it was the sportsbook.  It helps that arguably the best sportsbook in Las Vegas is a very short drive from where my parents live.  I could walk there and get a good workout there and back, but my folks insisted I take their car.  That's where I spent most of the time I did not spend with my parents.  The place has eight huge video screens and the guys that took my wagers were giving out free drink tickets like candy.  I could see myself being a loser later in life, shuffling down there and back in my waking hours every day, and then just ... dying there.  I would be happy, because it would be like I was home.

Oh yeah, the bets.  Yeah, that dream I had in the above paragraph probably isn't doable if I keep making losing bets.  And that seems to be the theme.  I took a crash course in finding free "best bets" online and making them, especially ones from the NFL.  However, I, needing to justify my intellect, used my own judgement and made picks on my own.  So I laid out a lot of money, straddling between wagers I found and wagers I came up with.

And guess which ones were better?  Knowing my damned prognostications, I made one rule for myself in order to mitigate blowing a huge hole in my wallet: I would bet $100 on every wager I found some consensus on on the Internet separately, and I would make a $50 parlay on all the bets I decided upon on my own.  That way, if I somehow stumbled across several picks that came through, I would win big, and if all of them went to shit, well, who cares, I only bet $50.

In particular, the three "best bets" were Green Bay, San Francisco, and Carolina.  I soured on my entire trip because the Panthers laid an egg against Atlanta; I thought, "Well, here I go again," and I swore at the moment never to come to Vegas ever again.  That feeling deepened when the 49ers Kicker's Field Goal attempt to beat Cincinnati at the end of regulation started off straight, then made an immediate right turn onto I Hate Unforgivable Wetness And I Want To Fuck With Him, Love, God Street.  Fortunately, San Fran answered the Bengals' FG in Overtime with a Touchdown, thereby covering their -2.  And while I was hanging out with my folks in downtown and Fremont St., the Packers finally pulled away from Chicago.

As for the wagers I created on my own ... well, I had four of them I wrapped up into a single parlay: Las Vegas, the Jets, Houston and Denver.  Only the Broncos covered, and I thought they beat Detroit because they were inspired by the untimely and unfair death of former Broncos Wide Receiver Demariyus Thomas.  The other three?  Woof.  And so I thank Buddha that I did not make separate bets on them, otherwise I would be in the shit in a bad, bad way.

Nevertheless I was under for my sportsbooking, and so I did the responsible thing and bet more money in order to get back the money I lost.  I bet on the Liga MX grand finale Sunday evening and lost $100.  I know scant better about Serie A and La Liga than I do Mexican soccer, but that didn't stop me from putting down a two-legged parlay: AS Roma and a Draw between Cadiz and Granada.  Well ... I'm ashamed to admit how almost brought to tears I was, but I hit both bets.  This was my first real parlay winner in my lifetime, and I swear to God I feel that's a bigger accomplishment than graduating from college.  I took one big breath in the big leather seat at the sportsbook before I looked at the result of the Cadiz-Granada Match on Google, and when I saw that it ended 1-1 (knowing Roma beat Spezia 2-0 already), I felt good that I could make a successful wager in at least one Match (the one between Cadiz and Granada, although Roma was a huge favorite over Spezia) and that I'm not a total fuck-up.

Spurred on by that Win, I put into action my plan on making bets on Games and other things happening in the future.  For example, I think that at the very least, Cincinnati and Michigan are good enough to keep their College Football Playoff Semifinals (being played New Year's Eve) close, so I parlayed them covering their respecting spreads together.  I bet $5 that the Seattle Kraken would follow the (Las) Vegas Golden Knights into representing the Western Conference in this Year's Stanley Cup Finals.  I won't know if they will until late June (unless they get eliminated earlier than that), but if they do, I (more likely Father, to whom I gave all these bets because he lives there and can just go up to the sportsbook window) will win $750.

I also made bets for Games that would be played the next few Days after I would be gone.  I made a three-legged parlay that Manchester City (of the English Premier League), Bayern Munich (Bundesliga) and Hibernian (Scottish Premiership) would all win their Matches Tuesday; they did, but since all three were heavy favorites, my payout wasn't that much.  (The World Wide Web also thought Aston Villa would win; either I had a bad feeling about them or I flat-out forget to make that bet, but I left them out, and too bad, because AV won.)  I also made a two-legger for men's college basketball -- that Alabama would go on the road and beat reeling Memphis and that Oregon St. would beat Cal-Davis, a school that recently got blown out by a lower-division art school that some people believe is a diploma mill.  Both the Crimson Tide and Beavers lost.  Maybe that ain't my sport.

You know what?  I'm tired, and I think I should leave the rest of my story to another blog post.

And now that the minivan might have some real bad problem with it, I am starting to regret my plan on driving (my car) down to the Mall Of America after work (I am filling in for someone today) for fear that something bad is going to happen to it while I'm driving.  Shit, man, I was scared the car would do something to me when driving home after working the fight last night.  It didn't, of course; it shouldn't because it was serviced a couple weeks ago.  But the trauma of a car that betrays you while you're trapped in it never leaves you, does it?

By the way, despite my fear, I'm driving down to the Megamall.  I'm not saying fuck fear.  I'm totally fearful.  I just can't let the thought of my car failing me as I drive it bully me into not doing something I want to do.  That's not taking the attitude of "fuck fear."  It's ... something else, I don't know what.

But -- and I am going off what happened last night -- I have the money, and I have the time, and right now, I have a back-up car.  I don't know what's wrong with the minivan -- well, besides that it's old -- but I have the means and the money to fix whatever is wrong with it.  I will limp it down to The Mechanic Around The Corner, they'll screw me over, I'll pay because I can, and I'll be done with it.

I just have to find the time.  Maybe next week because I don't think mechanics are up to snuff leading up to Christmas.

Goddammit, The Minivan Almost Overheated

Just wanted to put my parents' car through its paces over the winter, so after work I wanted to take it to Chick-Fil-A.  And then I looked at the thermostat and saw it slowly, slowly going up.  That is a hopeless feeling, especially when I remember seeing the thermostat on my Lexus go up and not knowing what the hell to do.  Worse than that, I was stuck in the busy drive-thru and there was no way out.  I had to beg a guy to wait while I drove the minivan up and down the curb so I could get it to a parking spot and to finally turn off the engine.  My God, I was so close to losing the minivan.

Thank God that Cub Foods had antifreeze, because Walgreens and Big Lots didn't have it.  Sure enough, there was no coolant in the tank.  I put it in, and the thermostat stayed where it was ... until about halfway through my drive home, when I slowed down and the thermostat went up.  Just a tad, but above level, and I freaked out again, but then I started accelerating, and it went back down.  And then it started going up, steadily, as I approached home.  But I made it home, thank Buddha.  The thermostat still was going up, though, and so maybe this piece of shit needs more than antifreeze.

I can't trust this car now.  And that sucks, because I think everybody should be able to have two cars in case one needs service.  I remember when my main car had that smart key indicator light on, and so I used the minivan for a week -- confidently.  And now that motherfucking thing is breaking down on me.  What would I do if the minivan had this problem when my main car had its problem?  I would be absolutely lost and helpless.

And now I'm worried I destroyed the minivan's shocks and struts and axels because I drove it up and down that curb.  Ah, who fucking cares about that -- I need to worry about the radiator or something.  Whatever, I won't be driving that car for the rest of the season.  Don't care about it anymore.  Can't care about it anymore.  And now I have to hope to Buddha my main car won't go to shit on me.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#0: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -2).  I still don't think they're going to have a great season, and I still don't think that's bad because Ben Johnson is still in his first Year as Head Coach of this squad.  And it's possible that Michigan won't be even close to being one of the last eight teams in the NCAA Tournament this season like they were last season.

With all that said, Saturday's 75-65 victory over the Wolverines in Ann Arbor -- well, it's a feather in the cap of a club that's going through a culture change.  No one saw it coming, and that's the best kind of surprise there is.  They followed that up with an eight-Point Win at Williams over non-conference opponent Texas A&M-Corpus Christi, so this team didn't suffer an emotional letdown.  In short, this was a very good Week for the U. men's basketball program, so I am going to bump them up above negative numbers.  Can they keep the good times rolling with Wednesday's home date with Wisconsin-Green Bay (a Game I'm going to because I bought a ticket at the State Fair)?

#-1: Timberwolves (Last Week: -7).  What a difference a return of a starter makes -- especially if that starter, who's only known for his Offense, starts taking defense seriously for once.  D'Angelo Russell returned to the club before their Sunday tilt in Portland, two Days after they lost their fifth in a row, 123-106 by Cleveland, a team that has a lot more frontcourt size than the Wolves do.  D-Lo doesn't provide size, but he is playing both ends of the court in victories in Portland (a Game where I bet against the Wolves because I expect the worst from Twin Cities sports team) and Denver, the latter of which was strangely comfortable.  In that Win over the Nuggets, Anthony Edwards set a Rookie record with ten made Three-Point Field Goals, and Karl-Anthony Towns joined Kevin Garnett with 10,000 Points scored as part of the Minnesota Timberwolves franchise.  And they remain in the running for a Play-In spot.

They're going to cram four Games before Christmas: Hosting The Bastard Minneapolis Lakers tonight/Friday night (at ... 9 p.m.?!  That's fucking ridiculous.  Games should never start later than 8:30 local time), a home-and-home with Dallas Sunday and Tuesday, then at The Bastard New Orleans Jazz Thursday.

#-2: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: -1).  Finished the 2021 part of their season splitting a two-Game series against Minnesota-Duluth at Ridder.  A quick glance shows the U. in fifth place in the PairWise, and that makes me think the Gophs are in a precarious position.  They are done for the rest of the Year.

#-3: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -5).  Got beat at Michigan by a dozen on Sunday, then pushed past Ohio at The Barn Wednesday, 99-93.  In the Win over the Bobcats, two U. player performances stand out.  Jasmine Powell fell an Assist short of a Triple-Double (18 Points and 11 Rebounds to go with nine Assists).  And Sara Scalia dropped 37 Points including nine Three-Pointers, the most Threes made by a U. basketball player (woman or man) at home and the second-most Threes made by a member of the Minnesota women's basketball program (Rachel Banham made ten Threes at Illinois in 2016).  The team made 18 Three-Pointers total, second-most behind the 19 made at the Game against the Fighting Illini five Years ago.  And yet the Gophers had to outgun Ohio and outlasted them only by six.  It'll be a long season.  Again.

This Week they're off until Thursday afternoon, when they play at Drake.

#-4: Wild (Last Week: 0).  After arguably the best start to the season in Wild franchise history, they have reached a rough patch.  They go completely winless this screening Week: A 2-1 Loss in Los Angeles, a 6-4 defeat at The Team Born On Third Base And Thought It Hit A Triple, Las Vegas, and then a Shootout Loss at home to lowly Buffalo.  It is the first three-Game losing streak under Head Coach Dean Evason.  And while Minnesota still leads the Central Division, their big advantage has been whittled down to three Points (in front of St. Louis and Nashville).  Don't think it's time to panic -- yet.

This Week: Home to Florida, at The Team That Was Stolen From Us, hosting Detroit.

#-Infinity: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: Positive Numbers).  Well, they got swept by Wisconsin, in Wisconsin, in Saturday's Elite Eight Match.  They fell short of a championship again, so this season is technically one of failure.  But the 12th-seeded Gophs did upset Baylor and played above seed.  So ... congratulations on ... going so far but no farther ... again?

Almost forgot to mention the superlative career of Opposite Hitter Stephanie Samedy, who was named to the AVCA All-America First Team for the fourth time in her collegiate career.  (She was named to the Second Team in 2019; she took advantage of a fifth Year given to all college players because of the pandemic.)  She joins Samantha Seliger-Swenson as the only Golden Gophers to be named First Team All-American four times.  That's a hell of a run.  Too bad it won't be culminated with a title.

The Deposit Envelope

I spent the past hour finding a deposit envelope -- you know, the envelope you used to need when you went to an ATM just to deposit your money.  I have tons of them, but since ATMs take checks and cash loose, it has lost its primary purpose.

But I created a secondary purpose for them.  On the blue moon occasion where I need to deposit checks, I write down the amount of each check (and, rarely, cash) I will deposit, then sum them up for a grand total which I expect to see when the receipt comes.  That helps me keep track of the money I'm depositing, and the breakdown by company (and, therefore, which job) in case I am expecting a check from a company and it's been, like, two months.

Most of the envelopes I have used have a bunch of additions on them, representing every time I needed to use the ATM.  But I do my best to fill one up before I go to the next one.  I don't think I've been successful at that.

Like I said, I spent the past hour finding a deposit envelope -- one that I thought was in either the book bag or the computer bag.  I tore through every single room in the upper level of the house.  I finally found it in a paper bag in my room, filled with other pamphlets and brochures, all of which I promise myself I will get around to reading.  It was a damn waste of time going through the same rooms three, maybe even four, times before finding it somewhere else, and new.  But, and I say this because I'm half-tired as I type this, I feel a sense of accomplishment and resiliency.  Yes, I feel those things because I found a friggin' deposit envelope with a bunch of additions on it after 60 minutes of searching.

Went To Vegas -- Surprise!

Well, as you could probably tell, actually, I went to Las Vegas for the past three days.  That's why I was so anxious, if you could see my anxiety pierce through all my blog posts before and during my vacation.

All I will say, for now, is that there were definitely good times and not-so-good times, but the good times vastly outweighed the not-so-good times.  And now, unfortunately, I am very tired and need to go to bed because life goes back to normal for me.

And Going Off The Previous Blog Post ... (AKA A Woman's Touch)

... I cannot regard both these Las Vegas babes equally.  One of them, ******e, claims she lives here, but I've seen here back in Minnesota a few times in the past year.  I know that I've seen her back there because she's wanked my dick a few times in the past year.  I love her dexterity, but it's not as if I've been pining for her magic hands.  Shit, man, she jerked me off less than a month ago.

Now, the other girl, ****e ... well, she's the flighty one, the one who said she'd suck my dick, then forget that I we made arrangements once I get there.  She could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch, however, and she fucks like no one's business.  She's a hottie, too, and one I haven't gotten a chance to grab and fuck and be with in a long time.  In other words, I wanted to have sex with ****e and I'm OK foregoing a chance to get intimate with ******e.

And by the way, they're friends.  I cannot confirm this, but if they don't see each other frequently, I would be shocked.  So there was no one way I could coordinate a meeting with ****e without tipping off or pissing off ******e.  That's why I didn't seriously contact either of them -- well, that and I truly am spending my vacay with my parents.  Well, that and watching Games I'm gambling on.  Anyway, I was too busy to fuck around.

Nevertheless, I thought it weird that I would be in Las Vegas and not tell either of them of that fact at all before I left.  I don't see the utility of saying, "Hey, just to let you know, I'm in Las Vegas, but I can't see you because I'm hanging out with my parents.  Bye!"  But then again, I don't think stealthily coming in and then going out without saying anything to them while I'm here is flat-out weird.  So I threaded the needle: Late yesterday afternoon I texted both of them, separately, that I felt the need to tell them I was here, but I am afraid seeing them would be impossible  For the record, ******e was more enthusiastic I was here, but ****e was ... uh, kind of saying that we could have had some fun, but ... maybe not.

Whatever.  I filled my time with my parents and at the sportsbook.  Oh, and I treated myself to a massage.  A quick half-hour one -- a neck-shoulders-back massage, the only one I could get at the last minute -- that reminded me that a woman's hands all over me feels good.  First proper massage I've had since the pandemic began, and right now, I would risk COVID to get another massage.  It may not be sexually tinged as the "meetings" I would have had with either stripper, but a woman's touch still is profound, and quite, quite welcome.

You know what sucks?  Jonesing to get off on some porn, but when you click on a pic in order to blow it up, you get the "Forbidden" page.  My parents put a parental lock on their Internet, turns out.

Right now I could use some female touch.  I could call up a couple locals, but I don't know if they're free, and besides, it's going to feel weird sneaking away from my parents to ball out.

Man, my urges are hard difficult to keep under control.

You know, ever since the fall, I've had headaches.  They're not mind-splitting ones, but I have usually not taken aspirin or anything else whenever my head feels a little achy.  I've taken more since the autumn, however, and I believe they're getting worse than ones before.

I should ask my parents if they have any ibuprofen or anything at their place.

Fucking Anti-Masker Motherfuckers

Just got off the light rail.  This couple is chatting it up and playing shit on their phones, loudly, and they're not wearing masks.  Even though it's mandated on the light rail, and announcements shout reminders.

Just before they got off for one of the airport terminals, then that's where the masks come on.  Sure, they're enforced at the airport; that makes all the difference.  If no one is making you wear masks even though they're mandated, do you really need to wear them?  That's what these anti-maskholes are thinking.  So what if they might be diseased and giving me their fucking COVID?

And just as I get off, I saw that the asshole who sat on the seat back-to-back to me wasn't wearing a goddamn mask this whole time.  He had a turtleneck on, and he probably used that to shield his mouth whenever it was uncouth to be unmasked, but once he was on the light rail, aaahhhh, freedom, amirite?  Forget the guy who was following rules and has just a skimpy surgical mask to block his fucking COVID breath.

I need to take a test, like, each day for the next goddamn week.

Goddamn, I fucking hate everything right now.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

Positive Numbers: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: 0).  Hey, we know that overall, the University of Minnesota sports a good volleyball program.  Final Fours are good.  Truly, they are.  But I'm at the point where I think it's more than due for them to win the whole goddamn thing.  And whenever they fall short -- exiting before the Sweet Sixteen, for example, or getting upset despite being one of the 16 seeded teams -- I consider that to be underachieving, and they don't deserve that cushion if they haven't won an NCAA championship.

With that said, objectively, they are in the thick of the tourney right now, and the 12th-seeded Golden Gophers are playing quite well right now, and thus are worthy of getting the top spot in this Week's survey and to be elevated into Positives.  Sweeping South Dakota in the First Round was a given.  Stanford in the Second Round?  It's very surprising to see one of the bluest of the bluebloods slumming as an unseeded squad, and thus I was fearful they could spring the upset, but the U. dispatched them in three Sets.

By seed, their run should have stopped in the Regional Semifinals, which unbeknownst to me was played yesterday/Thursday afternoon.  But in a back-and-forth tussle, they finally notched an upset of their own, beating fifth-seeded Baylor -- the team they opened the season against, and a club that beat them in that opener in four -- in five.  Overachievement, even if it's into the Elite Eight?  I'll take it.  Now, can they reach the Final Four yet again?  To do that, they'll have to face the host of the Regional, fourth-seeded ... Wisconsin.  A nice fuckin' border battle.  Can the Gophs do what their fellow student-athletes on the football team -- as well as the Vikings, and the U. women's hockey squad (see below) -- and whip Sconnie?  Match is Saturday.  Win that, and the Final Four matchup in Columbus is at, I think, Thursday.

#0: Wild (Last Week: Positive Numbers).  I feel bad not giving the Wild Positive Numbers, or even putting them alongside the U. volleyballers up top.  The stakes of a postseason tournament are what put the volleyballers on high.  Nevertheless, let us recognize the Minnesota professional hockey club for running the table this Week, beating Toronto, Edmonton and San Jose (the latter two on the road) for their eighth straight Win.  They lead St. Louis in the Central Division by seven Points.  And most impressive: As of press time, they have the most Points of any team in the NHL.

Because of that, I decided to buy a ticket to see this team in the New Year.  I forget the exact date and the opponent; all I remember is I got enticed by the team selling these tickets without fees, which could add an extra, oh, 20% to the total cost.  I jumped at the chance to see the makings of a really, really good team.  How can I resist?

This Week they finish their road trip out west with Games vs. Los Angeles and Las Vegas, then come home to face The Bastard Hartford Whalers and Buffalo.

#-1: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: -6).  I also give unfair short shrift to the U. female icers.  All they did over the screening Week was go into Madison and sweep a series from Wisconsin, which was ranked #1 in the polls.  To nitpick, however, their winning streak is at two, and if I can get real technical, Saturday's tilt ended up as a 2-all Tie; Minnesota won in a Shootout, but that technical Tie meant that they dropped a Point, so they only got five-out-of-six.

Nevertheless, they "won" both contests versus the Badgers, and they rose in the polls ... only from fifth to fourth?  And Wisconsin retains the #1 spot?  I don't fuckin' get that.

They end 2021 with a pair at Ridder against Top 10-ranked Minnesota-Duluth.

#-2: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -1).  OK, so the club began B1G play with a 75-67 home Loss to Michigan St. on Wednesday.  This is Ben Johnson's first Year, so I don't think it's right to expect anything from this team.  Nevertheless, I am heartened by the other Game this team played this Week, a gutty 81-76 victory at Mississippi St., of all places, Sunday afternoon.  Payton Willis broke a 76-76 Tie with a Three-Pointer with 18 Seconds remaining, then iced it with a pair of Free Throws off a Bulldogs miss.  Join that with the U.'s previous Game, a 54-53 win at Pitt which was won on a putback by Luke Loewe with 2.4 Seconds left in regulation, and you have an impressive pair of Wins over fellow BcS schools.  I don't remember the last time the Minnesota men's basketball program played two fellow major programs in non-conference play, let alone won both tilts.  Now, it won't matter dick if the U. doesn't reach The Big Dance, and they probably won't, but that one-two punch is still noteworthy, I think.

This aperitif of conference play ends tomorrow/Saturday evening at Michigan.  They then go back to non-con for the rest of the Year, resuming such play Tuesday at Williams Arena against Texas A&M-Corpus Christi.

#-3: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -4).  This is kind of the point in the WMNSS where I go through things quickly because 1) I don't want to talk about teams having bad Weeks and 2) I'm tired.  But it's not as if a split on the road is a bad thing.  The Gophs won Friday at Michigan, 5-1, and the Wolverines returned the rout the next evening, 6-2.  Seven Goals for both teams?  That's what you call even.

Well, look it -- they're done for the rest of the Year!

#-4: Vikings (Last Week: -7).  Last/Thursday night's 36-28 "thriller" over Pittsburgh was, according to one commenter, the Vikingest Vikings Game ever.  They were fucking leading 29-0 before the Steelers mounted their hellacious comeback.  If you didn't have a dog in this fight, this Game was entertaining as fuck.  If you were a fan of one of these teams, this was painful to watch.  And both fanbases have ample evidence to demand the Head Coach be fired.  When neither squad is that good, it's possible to have a Game like this, where one team (the Vikes) dominate the First Half and then, somehow, the other team dominates the Second.

And by the way, this victory doesn't erase the emasculating loss in Detroit at the hands of the then-winless Lions.  They only rushed three in the last play of the Game, but the other eight defenders were told to protect the back of the End Zone, so Amon-Ra St. Brown can just tiptoe past the Goal Line and catch the ball for the winning Touchdown with no time left?  The Vikes don't deserve to make the playoffs ... and yet, because they beat Pittsburgh, they're still on the fringes of the postseason picture.

Meanwhile, not only did they kick off the NFL's Week last/Thursday night, they end the league's following Week on the 20th as they visit Chicago for Monday Night Football.

#-5: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -5).  Yeah, I guess we're waiting for next Year's recruits.  Caught a part of this club's home Match against Nebraska while at the community center Monday.  They were down big but came back in the Third Quarter to enter the Fourth down by one.  However, after Kadi Sissoko's jumper in the paint gave the Gophs a 63-61 lead, the Cornhuskers put them away, led by Minnesota native Sam Haiby.  And so Whalen's crew stands at 6-5 with a road date with ranked Michigan coming Sunday afternoon.  Also, Ohio comes to The Barn Wednesday.

#-6: Whitecaps (Re-Entry!).  Shit, man, got swept at Connecticut?  I don't think that's ever happened before.  And I don't think the Whale are that good.  But they got routed by scores of 5-1 Saturday and 4-2 Sunday.  Ick.  They host Buffalo this weekend.

#-7: Timberwolves (Last Week: -3).  I am still encouraged for this organization's future.  But any momentum gained by victories over the previous couple Weeks has been dashed because they lost all three Games this screening Week (Brooklyn, Atlanta, Utah) to extended their skid to four.  They seem to be in better shape than the real dregs of the Western Conference, but most cynical Wolves observers are thinking they're reverting to their natural state with this winless Week.  They host Ricky Rubio and Cleveland tonight/Friday night, then visit Portland and Denver.

First we were going to have a blizzard on Friday, and that sucked.  Then, it wasn't going to be so bad, which is good.  Well now they're saying that it might be bad again.  Well, shit, which is it, because I ... let's just say I'm pissed off over the tracking of and prediction over this goddamn winter storm.  So tiring.

Suddenly Everybody's Interested In Getting Tested

Getting tested late this afternoon, after work.  First time since early November I've done it.  Not that I haven't tried since then, but it has been extremely difficult.

I have tried to line up at the place in Brooklyn Center a couple times since early November, but the freakiest thing happened: There were dozens upon dozens of people who lined up to get in.  Up until early November there was no line whatsoever.  I could just walk through the opening doors and wait for at most a minute if there were a couple families ahead of me in order to get my test and be sent to a table.  These lines were what I thought this testing center would look like when I first started going here, in late November 2020.  I was so freaked out I wouldn't get in that I was relieved when I made an online appointment.  I then get there and see no one else was there, and I thought why did I ever stress over getting an appointment.  Well, shit, I made one a couple days ago for after work today, because it seems to be a necessity now.

What I don't get is the sudden interest -- maybe I should call it a crush -- of people who out of the blue wanted a test as of a month ago.  I have two theories.  First, the last time I got in there, I saw that the vast space (it used to be an event center) had carved out an area for rapid testing.  I was given a choice of the "regular" spit test (something I had hated when the clinics no longer would accept walk-in appointments for nasal swab tests) or the rapid test, whereby you wait in this cordoned-off area until a nurse or lab tech or practitioner or temp calls you into this tent, whereby you, well, get a nasal swab, which is the kind of test I had preferred until the clinics no longer accepted walk-ins like me.  Is it possible that a bunch of people just don't like spitting into a tube, and once word got out that these nose tests were available at Brooklyn Center, all those people jumped at the chance to get tested without the annoyance of expectorating?

That might be a stretch.  I lean toward my other theory -- mandates at public workplaces, private companies and schools began in November, and those anti-vaxxer pricks who don't want to lose their jobs or homeschool their kids had to provide the alternative, which is a negative test.  Now that they have to show proof they and their children are COVID-free, they had no choice but to go get tested.  If that is the case, then I can see why everybody's going to the testing center.  Moreover, however, if the crowd mainly consists of anti-vaxxers, well ... I think the chances go up that more than one of those selfish idiots is carrying the coronavirus.  And if you go into a packed indoor area, well, that just reintroduces the paranoid fear -- and the irony -- that I had of testing at such a venue when I went to this place the first few times: That going to get tested in the hopes you test negative for the virus brings you face-to-face with people who are carrying and might give you the virus while you're there.

Well, I've tested negative at least a dozen times when going to this testing site.  Let's hope the safety measures are still as robust today as they have been.

Hottest Babe In The Hooters Calendar: November

This is the first month in a long time where I can actually look at the girls of the month because I have it hanging up on my bedroom wall now that my parents are gone.  That has allowed me plenty of glances and quick evaluations on who are the hottest.

Overall it's a good month -- I've seen better, I've seen worse.  There are 15 babes on this month, and I can single out seven as noteworthy, although I'll give an "honorable mention" to Tampa's Lauren.  She's showing all the right parts and posing in all the right ways, but there's ... something that does not appeal to me.  Maybe it's her smile, I don't know.

By the way, I'm making this review quick because I have a lot on my mind.  In ascending order: 

Jasmine of Concord, N. C. and Jarrah of Albany, N. Y., are tight things that are, I'm afraid, undone because their pictures are among the smallest in the month.  Atlanta's Oliva is a sumptuous thing; decked out in a light blue two-piece bikini, she has a soft, sensual body, and pursed lips, to die for.

I cannot help but be attracted to The Main Girl, Brittany of King Or Prussia, Penn.  Her arms are in front of her hot body, which is a cardinal posing sin in my book, but her hands are pulling down on the cleavage part of her dark blue bikini top.  She's also got a Mona Lisa smile and luscious, long black hair.  She's completely fappable.  Also wanktastic is Kelly, out of Spring, Tex.  I'll be honest and say that she's not a typical-looking swimsuit model.  She has a face that's more cute than sexy, and she has a smile that shows off a large set of upper teeth.  But it's cute, and unlike Lauren's, I'm afraid, I'm attracted to Kelly's smile.  Nice body and light-and-dark-blue spackled two-piece, as well, even though she's posing with her left side toward the camera.

The top two fulfill my requirement of showing ass.  In second place is Ravin, of Amaraillo, Tex.  She's got a nice butt, even though her red bottom covers, I'd say, more than half of her hiney.  She's got gorgeous brown hair, too.  But she's not smiling, nor even pouting; she's more, like, grimacing for some reason.  Also, I could see her ass because she is posed with her back sort-of turned to us, and she throws her right arm on her head, which seems a bit too dramatic for me.

Finally, first place goes to Elisabeth, hailing from Melbourne, Fla.  The posing decisions in her shot that Hooters decided to use are uniformly better than the ones in Ravin's shot that they decided to publish.  Her side is shown toward us, but her right hand is only (I am speculating) touching the back of her head, and a disappearing arm is better than an oddly-placed one.  More importantly, she's smiling, and seductively so.  Finally, her baby blue bikini bottom is covering half, maybe less than half, of her really nice ass.  Her, and that photo, are keepers.

So, congratulations to Elisabeth.  I will jerk off to her as soon as I have free time.

Subsisting On Wine And Peanut Butter-And-Jelly Sandwiches

I still have the bottle of wine that I cracked open Thanksgiving.  I swear that a regular-sized bottle of wine serves four glasses, and that I have had way more than four glasses of this bottle.  But the damn thing is bottomless.  Well, maybe it doesn't help that the glass I'm using isn't a "regular" glass for red wine.  It's smaller; is it supposed to be for red wine only?  (By the way, it's a commemorative glass for my cousin and his wife ... well, make that ex-wife; they only lasted two years.  I kind of get a kick out of looking at the etching of two swans [or are they doves?} and two rings interlocked together, symbolizing forever love.  Lol to that.)  So four regular glasses might mean eight in this one ... except that I think I've had eight glasses of wine in this glass already, too.

Also, I bought a loaf of wheat bread, a small loaf, I think Dranksgiving.  I needed to because there was one solitary egg Father left me before he left, and I wanted to eat it before it went bad.  But I'm not really into eating eggs by themselves.  Besides, he also left me leftover cheese slices and pepperoni slices, and those things altogether would make a great sandwich.  But you can't buy just two pieces of bread.  That loaf was as small as I could probably buy anywhere, so I did.  I'm glad I got the loaf so I could finish off the egg ... but I've got a small loaf left.  Thankfully I had the foresight to buy some grape jelly, and Father has a shelf's worth of peanut butter, so I can make PB&J ... I just have to make a lot of them.  I think I've had, like, two of them so far, and so obviously there is a lot of the loaf left.

Neither wine nor bread last forever.  The red wine seems to be holding up, although my palate isn't sophisticated, so who knows if the wine's already bad.  I think I can tell when bread goes bad, and although I haven't done a deep inspection, I don't think there are any mold spots yet, so the bread's still good.  So I have time.  But that means that I have to subsist on peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwiches and wine until I get done with both the bread and the wine.  And I'm not going to eat and drink those every night.  I have to break it up or else I'll go mad.  That only extends the time I need to consume both, and also brings in the possibility they'll spoil.

Man, just wish me luck.

When Two, Maybe Three Nights That Weren't Supposed To Be Busy Suddenly Are

I want to help.  Really, I do.  But this was the week whereby I could've used some time to myself to finally tackle all the stuff that is accumulating, both in my room and in my storage unit.

Unfortunately, I have been ... well, let's just say enticed into spending those two, maybe three nights doing something other than working on my stuff.  I could have said no.  But ... no.  I have already procrastinated on these things; what's another week and a half?

The big thing is the Vikings Game on Thursday.  I had received an e-mail several months ago asking for interest, which I replied affirmatively.  I hadn't received an answer.  In that e-mail I was given, it specifically said to give that person a couple weeks to figure out who to hire for what positions.  After a couple weeks, I e-mailed him, but I got no response.  I was not going to pester any more than I did because I don't want to lose the rest of my gigs with these guys.  So I didn't, and I assumed that I wasn't going to work on Thursday.

Then, all of a sudden, I got an e-mail saying, yep, I'm working on Thursday.  I'll take it, and I'm grateful.  But if I followed the rules you laid out, I was not going to work.  Now I am.  Oh, well.  That's my Thursday gone.

Tonight's gone, too.  Not only is overtime being offered if you work 48 this week, starting today, but you get paid an extra $100 if you do.  And I'm still addicted to OF.  So, I'm coming in this afternoon (I get to call my own hours, and I volunteer to do second shift), and staying till midnight.  That's my Sunday gone.

And I'm going back-and-forth as to whether to see The Eternals on Tuesday.  I hear it's a bad movie, but it's Marvel, and I want to be as completist as possible.  Now, can I wait till later in the month to see it?  I don't know.  But things have gotten so busy here that I might be willing to risk it.

Life.  Too complicated.

I Must Remember This Beautiful Day

A lot for a day where I don't have to go anywhere.  But I had a lot of errands to do.  Went to the post office, then the bank to deposit a check for my folks, then went down to cash in on a 37-cent Whopper, visit Grandmother's best friend, then went to a bus stop to ride a full, 90-minute circuit around the Orange Line, the brand-new Bus Rapid Transit service that is giving out free rides starting with its grand opening today through Monday.  I have to go to my alma mater's Game-watching party tonight, too, so I have a couple hours to rest instead of what I should be doing, which is going through my stuff.  But anyway. ...

While all these chores were swimming in my head, particularly as I was driving down to see Grandmother's best friend, I looked up.  It was a gray day today.  I mean, totally overcast.  The sun not only did not make an appearance, never for even one second today did it look like it would get less cloudy.  After I got off the BRT and took a lap around a block close to the bus station, I looked up the temperature: Just above freezing.  I was not cold.  I might have been a tad chilly, but being in a bus and walking a bit keeps you warm.

So, a mostly cloudy day with highs in the mid-thirties?  Perfect weather.  Just beautiful, absolutely gorgeous.  OK, maybe it could've been 20 degrees warmer.  But it's my kind of weather.  Heck, I would have called it a perfect fall day if we it weren't the holiday season.  But with all my running around, I don't think I noticed this perfect sky enough.  Only when I was doing this post-bus lap did I look up at the beautiful cloudy sky and take a deep breath and realize how blissful it was to be outside, and therefore how fortunate I am to enjoy it.  I just wish I had enjoyed it more, rather than being inside my own head, reminding myself I am both tired and worried.  I should have ... looked up more.  I should look up more.

So I got back, ate Taco Bell, and am now blog posting this as dusk settled.  By 4 o'clock around these parts around this time of the year it's difficult on a gray day to see it darken because of the clouds or because of the night.  But while I wish I had stayed outside and appreciate my kind of weather more, I'm glad I appreciated it for those 15 minutes walking around after getting off the BRT.  It might not be that cloudy, "warm" and safe to walk outside again till spring.

Am I Getting It? Is It Slowing Down For Me?

Finished my stint, a four-day stint, at The Fourth Department yesterday.  It's the last time I sub in there for the year and, at least for now ... for now.

Can't say that I'll miss it.  It's never a good time when you spend eight hours during the day not listening to the radio.  However, and for starters, I am so busy doing this position that I don't, like, miss miss it.  When I started training for this job I thought that once I got up to speed, I could just pop in my headphones and listen to my heart's content.  No, I can't.  There are too many curveballs that will pop up.  You have to drop everything and answer this e-mail, a question to which many times I don't have the foggiest idea as to even start tackling.  You can't relax, unfortunately.  The only upside to that: I am so busy that eight hours, as painful as it is not having the white noise of radio, does fly by.  You're so busy buried in stuff that you're apt to look up and suddenly there are, like, two hours left in your day.

With all that said, I have to admit that The Fourth Department is getting easier.  I have used this analogy before, I'm sure, here on WAF, even though I'm not sure if I was talking about this or something else entirely.  I hear that in the NFL, Quarterbacks that "get it" and finally reach a level of proficiency, if not success, in the league realize that they "get it" when the Game starts to "slow down" for them.  At some point, the issues literally attacking them from all sides don't overwhelm their senses.  Instead, they are able to anticipate those issues, avoid them (and when I say "issues" I more often that not mean the opposing defense), and then make a play that advances the ball for their team.

I feel that way now in The Fourth Department.  The way that I realized the work there "slowed down" for me was when, on Tuesday, I realized that I could actually leave at the time I was supposed to leave.  Before I would average between 20 and 80 minutes staying late.  But I got all my work done, including the end-of-day stuff to make sure I've crossed my t's and dotted my i's, and left around 5:30.  To prove to myself it was no fluke, it happened again Wednesday.  I got done even earlier Thursday, and I left a couple minutes early on Thursday in case something big enough happened that I could leave a little late yesterday and still land around 40 hours (overtime has not been approved for this week because the amount of work has slowed to a regular amount).  But that really wasn't needed yesterday.  I had to wipe down my work area because it was my last day, but I got out of there in time.

Now, I will go back to the workload; we have gotten to the point of the year where fewer businesses need tests, and so the ebbing of work down the assembly line eventually reaches me.  I swear that when I was frazzled when I worked The Fourth Department the first time or times, it was because there was so much stuff.  I don't have that crushing amount of work now.  However, I think it's also fair to say that I "get it" now.  For example, there are a series of forms in which I need to identify the company in order to send an e-mail.  I would have, say, a dozen of these and I would be so discouraged because I wouldn't know where to begin.  I have an idea now, and I either have developed enough instincts whereby I know I should look up stuff here or there, or I am confident enough to know that trying this e-mail address is the best I can do.  There is no more slaving over one form for half an hour, and there is less anxiety when it comes to any of the tasks I have to do now.

So yeah, I guess I "get it."  And that's a good thing.  I shouldn't get over my skis, but if I have another four-day stint in the future and I get out of work on time each day again, I would then definitely say that The Fourth Department isn't scaring me anymore.  In fact, maybe then I'll, gasp, like it.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

Positive Numbers: Wild (Last Week: -6).  Remember this Week, Minnesota pro hockey fans.  The Wild have stretched their winning streak to five Games after running the table this screening Week, 4-0.  Sure, they won all these contests at home.  But one of those victories include Tampa Bay.  There's also Winnipeg, New Jersey and, well, Arizona, but hey, they won them all, and that's all that counts!  Well, that and they lead the Central Division by six Points as of press time.  (They're tied with Calgary for fourth-most Points in the NHL, too.)  Everything's coming up Milhouse right now ... and in the world of pro hockey, that's a bad thing, because teams with the best records rarely lift Lord Stanley's Cup.  Just sayin'.

This Week: They finish a five-Game homestand Saturday vs. Toronto (one of the squads with more Points than Minny), then hop to Edmonton and San Jose.

#0: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -8).  So these players finished with a better kick than I anticipated.  They went into Happy Valley and beat Penn St. in four Sets.  They then did the same in Maryland to finish the regular season.  Thus, their rank in the NCAA Tournament is intact: They grabbed the overall #12 Seed and will host the First and Second Round of the tourney at Maturi Pavilion tonight (Friday night) and tomorrow/Saturday night.

In case you don't know, this tournament still favors a bracket layout that places a priority on cutting down on travel costs.  For every four-club "pod" that play in one location for the first two Rounds of the NCAAs, you have the seeded host school and two teams that are bracketed to go to there because they are at least sort-of close to that host.  Finally, I think for variety's sake, that fourth club usually comes from far away.  Well, the U.'s pod this weekend follows that model.  You have Minnesota, of course; Iowa St. and the Golden Gophers' First Round opponent, South Dakota; and then you have, of all teams, Stanford, which comes into this tourney unseeded.  The last time I think they were in the Twin Cities, they were the #1 overall Seed and beat Nebraska at Target Center to win the 2018 NCAA Tournament.  Here, they're fighting for their tournament lives as they draw the Cyclones in the First.  If I were not working a later shift, I as a neutral would have loved to buy a ticket and get to the Sports Pav early to just check out Stanford vs. Iowa St.  I mean, damn, you know?

As for the U. ... they're slated to bow out in the Sweet Sixteen.  Do better than that.  Fuck it -- make the Final Four again.  You know, make this season worthwhile.

#-1: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -2).  I hear it wasn't pretty.  But as part of the men's side of the B1G/ACC Challenge, Luke Loewe's putback off a miss by E. J. Stephens with 2.4 Seconds left gave Minnesota a Great Escape-esque 54-53 Win at Pittsburgh.  In this mulligan Year, Ben Johnson has his charges at 6-0.  Can't say it's more impressive than the two other squads above them, but yes, it's still quite good to go through so many Games undefeated.

Another intriguing showdowns between two BcS schools comes Sunday as Minnesota travels to Starkville, Miss., to play Mississippi St.  Have those two programs ever met before?  They then begin their first (bumped-up; they'll play three more also-rans afterward) Week of league play Wednesday at Williams Arena against Michigan St.

#-2: Gopher wrestling (Last Week: -9).  Routed South Dakota St. Sunday afternoon, 27-13.  But who cares, it's South Dakota St.  They're in Las Vegas doing the Cliff Keen Invitational.  And then they have this Northern Iowa Open the following weekend.  Since neither is a Dual, I don't know if I'll report on these guys until their first proper Dual -- which is after the New Year.

#-3: Timberwolves (Last Week: Positive Numbers).  OK, OK, so they went 2-2 this Week.  They began the Week getting buried by the Hornets in Charlotte and ended it losing at a resurgent Washington Wizards outfit.  But they outlasted the 76ers in Philadelphia in Double Overtime, then gutted out a 100-98 Win at home versus Indiana.  Don't look now, but Minnesota has a Top 10 Defense (at least when it comes to efficiency), and that is fueling this organization's rise to ... uh, .500.  Fuck, man, I'll take it.

This Week will be a stiff test -- At Brooklyn, then home to Atlanta and Utah.

#-4: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -4).  Split a series in North Dakota.  I'm tired and have not much else to say about these guys.  They're going to play two this weekend at Michigan, which lately has become a pipeline straight into the NHL.

#-5: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -7).  Yeah, they went 2-1 this Week.  But all three Games they played were at home.  They spanked Bradley and Texas-San Antonio easily.  But I went to that third contest, the one Wednesday night where they host North Carolina, a school that does not come up here often, as part of the women's side of the Big Ten/ACC Challenge.  I saw that Lindsay Whalen's players were going to shoot the three often (8-for-31).  Unfortunately, the Gophers had a rough patch in the middle of the Second Quarter to put them down by ten at the Half.  They stormed back almost to take the Game into the Fourth tied, except that the U. D allowed Tar Heel Deja Kelly to shoot and sink a heave from between half- and three-quarters court.  I swear that was the start of the team's downfall in this one, as they had a horrible start to their Fourth, and while they managed to sort of come back, the Gophs could not string together a long-enough sequence of good plays to take the lead, and they wound up on the bad side of an 82-76 Loss.  That's the third defeat in four Games against fellow major schools, so we are fast understanding at what level Minnesota will be playing at this season.

It appears customary that the conference season will start a Week sooner than it traditionally has, even though they'll sneak in one more Week of non-con play.  Anyway, they host Nebraska Monday night.

#-6: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: -1).  Crushed Mercyhurst in the "Semifinals" of the Smashville Showcase late Friday afternoon, 4-0.  Unfortunately, the next afternoon, they played Colgate, a team from whom the Gophers swept two Games on their ice, and the Raiders exacted revenge on the U. with a 2-1 Win.  That ends the club's winning streak at 11 -- a streak that includes that road sweep of the Raiders.  Man, I hate it when an opponent is able to get one back on you.

And now the biggie: They're in Madison to take on the #1-ranked Wisconsin Badgers for a two-Game series this weekend.

#-7: Vikings (Last Week: 0).  Lining up behind a Guard on a critical 4th Down play late in a close tilt in hostile territory isn't going to silence the haters who think you're still dragging down the team, Kirk.  In another close Game (where the team, once again, managed to take a lead of at least seven Points, as they have done so every Game this Year), the Vikes fall in San Francisco Sunday, 34-26.  The loss of many of their Defensive Linemen showed; the 49ers racked up 208 Yards rushing at a decimated Vikes D-Line.  And so they are clinging to the seventh and final playoff spot.  Oh, well; at least they travel to play winless Detroit this Sunday.  This Game is exactly what the team needs ... right?

#-Infinity: Gopher football (Last Week: -3).  The plethora of bowl Games for non-BcS schools that have 6-6 records show that, despite the claims that the sport has always admired excellence, they in fact truly care about trumpeting the mediocre.  Not saying the Gophers are mediocre.  But they came into Saturday's tilt with Wisconsin at Huntington Bank Stadium knowing already that their scant hopes of winning the B1G Western Division and advancing to the B1G Championship Game were dashed.  That's because Iowa held on to defeat Nebraska.  So it would be either Iowa winning the division or the Badgers -- provided Bucky Badger beat the U. in Dinkytown.

Ha!  Didn't happen!  Shit, man, if the U. can't win the division, by jove, Wisconsin sure as shit won't, either!  And so, because Minnesota has gotten Paul Bunyan's Axe back for the second time in three Years (and the first time to win this rivalry Game at home since 2003), you rush the field, something many fan bases did on Saturday.  Who cares if you only finish 8-4 and have an outside chance at going to a New Year's Eve bowl?  You denied the hated Badgers a division crown and you get the Axe back!

Oh, and to reaffirm that college football is the last bastion of outright trolling, you gotta see what the stadium did after the Game:

 

Oh, man.  College football is so fucking toxic and petty.  Gotta love it.

It appears as though this program is settling upon a tier whereby they can't beat the really good programs in the Big Ten save one each season, but regularly beat the dregs of the conference save one each season.  For the latter, that bugaboo is Illinois; beat them, and ... well, I think Iowa still wins the conference, but the U. would have established itself as a solid mid-major school.

Anyway -- they beat hated Sconnie!!  And they got the Axe back!!!