#-1: Vikings (Last Week: -4). I can't think of the last time the two local football teams took the top two spots in a Week's Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey, but here we are. And moreover, I could not fathom an scenario in which the Vikings, of all fucking clubs, would be the ones on top.
They had a seemingly-impossible task of facing the San Francisco 49ers (albeit at home) on Monday Night Football. Normally this would mean that Kirk Cousins would turn into a sucker. Far from it. Because of an Offensive Line that was, get this, fantastic (Cousins wasn't sacked once. You hear very little about Christian Darrisaw because he may be The Best Left Tackle In Football), Cousins was able to shred the Niners Defense. Meanwhile, the Vikes' Defense made enough plays, especially when it came to turning over San Francisco Quarterback Brock Purdy twice in the Fourth Quarter (well, to be fair it was just Cameron Bynum intercepting Purdy), that the Vikes were able to eke out a 22-17 Win no one saw coming. By the way, I had some doubts about Jordan Addison, but they've been shelved, at least for now. He was the fuckin' man on Monday.
One Game a season does not make. But we are lustful, kneejerk sports fans, and you gotta admit the squad gets a multiplier effect from a victory few people could even envision. Suddenly, 3-4 doesn't look so bad. And next up, they gravel to Lambeau Field to face a Green Bay Packers club going through its post-Aaron Rodgers transition and whose QB replacement, Jordan Love, has fallen back down to earth after playing pretty well early in the season. My goodness, there may be life in the Vikings just yet!
#-3: Timberwolves (NEW SEASON!!!). There are a lot of writers who are really high on the Woofie Dogs this year. They're all thinking that Anthony Edwards is about to take that step into superstardom, that the experiment of integrating Rudy Gobert will finally, fully be implemented this season. That prediction has to go up against 30+ Years of incompetence and mediocrity, and it didn't look too good when they lost in Toronto by three Wednesday. (They haven't beaten the Raptors in Canada since 2004.) But they rebounded by beating Miami at Target Center last/Saturday night by 16, even though Jimmy Butler rested against the Timberwolves for, like, the fourth straight Game against them. Does he regret that shit he pulled in that practice Game that forced the organization to trade him? Maybe?
Tough to glean any conclusions right now. Anyway, they begin a four-Game homestand with Games vs. Denver Wednesday and Utah Saturday. I have a ticket for that Nuggets showdown; I am not expecting a whole lot.
#-4: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -3). Beat Michigan St. at home last Sunday in four Sets, but went to West Lafayette on Thursday and got swept by a ranked Purdue.
You know, I didn't think at all to check the polls to see if the Goofers are ranked because the U. is always ranked, right? Well, I finally checked just now; they dropped out of the AVCA Top 25 last Week. Oh, I have to keep thinking this is a mulligan Year.
Like I mentioned last Week, this/Sunday afternoon they play Wisconsin in Madison. And this Game will be on FOX/Channel 9. This is not a special local broadcast; this is a nationally-televised volleyball Match (well, there are some areas in the country that will see the Browns visit the Seahawks at the same time -- those two markets plus New York City, Boston, Atlanta, Miami, Pittsburgh, Nashville, and Jacksonville, among others. Those cities won't get an early football Game, and I think there's another women's volleyball match that they will see: Ohio St. and Michigan. And I just checked the NFL coverage map on 506sports.com; Columbus gets Cleveland-Seattle and therefore will see its hometown Buckeyes visit the Wolverines, but Detroit (and Ann Arbor) won't see that contest because they've got the Vikings-Packers Match instead). And it's kind of sad that this version of the Minnesota program is loping into Wisconsin because I'm pretty sure this is going to be a sweep, and a bad one at that. After that, they visit Ohio St. Friday.
#-5: Wild (Last Week: -6). Seems as though that when the Mild have lost, they've lost big. To wit: Philadelphia's 6-2 win over Minnesota Thursday was the fourth time already this season the Mild have allowed at least five Goals and lost. Their next road Game, a 3-2 defeat to the Capitals the next night, is the type of conventional Loss the Mild haven't experienced much so far. But that's going to be the way things will shake out for the time being because Jared Spurgeon has been put on this thing called Long-Term Injured Reserve. I first heard about it at the end of last season when Las Vegas apparently used it to circumvent the cap and bring up Marc Stone, who led them to the Stanley Cup. My fucking God the Golden Knights are such fucking cheaters. And the Gary Bettman lets them cheat!
Don't expect the Mild to cash in like Las Vegas did. The way they're headed, there won't be a postseason for which Spurgeon can be called up to play like a ringer. We'll have to be content with little victories, like the 7-4 one over Edmonton at the X on Tuesday. This Week they will have an elongated home-and-home with The Bastard Colorado Rockies -- in New Jersey this/Sunday afternoon, here Thursday. They then host the New York Rangers Saturday.
#-6: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: -2). Well, shit, this is not good. In women's top-flight college hockey, you have only so many showdowns with the programs equal to you. This weekend was one of them, and frankly, this club fucking failed, getting swept at Ohio St. by 4-3 (in Overtime) and 6-5 scores. Sure, the margins were close, but horseshoes, grenades, dancing. ...
A home-and-home with Minnesota State-Mankato Friday (here) and Saturday (there). Guess here is that the Mavericks will be more this team's speed.
#-7: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -5). And while the women shit the bed, the male icers were even bigger embarrassments. Wisconsin was ranked, sure, but the Goofers were ranked higher. And the fuckin' Badgers came in to Mariucci Thursday and Friday and swept them, by scores of 5-2 and 3-2. You know, the admin for the Gopher men's hockey Twitter account, right after they fucked up in last Year's title Game, vowed, and I mean vowed, to return and finish what they started. I didn't believe that shit then, and after this humiliation, I have no reason to believe they'll even reach the Frozen Four now.
Home-and-home with Minnesota-Duluth Friday (here) and Saturday (there).
#-Infinity: Gopher soccer (Last Week: -7). They ended their season with a 3-1 Win at Purdue on Sunday, but their season did end. They finished 3 Wins, 2 Ties and 5 Losses in-conference, 7-4-6 overall. Now, women's college soccer isn't as cutthroat as football. But like I said last Week, Erin Chastain just completed her third season leading her alma mater, and her charges have not made the NCAA Tournament even once. Don't know if her seat is getting hot. But if there are people who follow such moves in women's college soccer, you'd have to guess Chastain's is getting warm, no?
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