Record, Week 13: 2-8
Total Record: 44-57-2
Total Outlay, Week 13: $700.00
Total Winnings, Week 13: $381.80
Loss, Week 13: $318.20
Overall Loss: $528.82
This was a serious step back. There wasn't one thing that doomed me. UCLA effed up their chance at taking the lead late. I don't know what the hell got into Oregon, but they got walloped by Arizona. Nor do I know how Oklahoma St. managed to tame Baylor and keep the score Under 78. I correctly guessed that Minnesota would cover and Stanford would blow out Cal, but all in all, I am back in a deep hole.
---
Logged onto VEF for the first time in almost 11 days, and I jerked off into my parents' shower to try and shake off my anxiousness over tomorrow and Sunday. Didn't help; I'm still nervous as fuck. With that, onto my picks:
1) Memphis -8 1/2 (I remember when the Tigers were one of the worst football programs in top-flight. Now that label might go to Temple, which hasn't been the same since Al Golden left for Miami. The Owls visit Bluff City, and for some reason I think Senior Day is going to be a good one for Memphians) $50
2) Florida St. -28 (Jameis Winston is trying to shore up his Heisman credentials [while trying to keep his off-the-field issues off the field]. The Seminoles are trying to maintain their place in the Mythical National Championship Game. Florida is banged up. They just lost to second-division Coastal Carolina. People are clamoring for Will Muschamp's head. And Florida St. has the weapons to embarrass their rivals at The Swamp. Rivalry games may be tricky, but I don't think Florida can fight back. Double Best Bet this) $150
3) Utah St. -24 (OK, according to this article on Covers, fade underdogs who are one win away from being bowl-eligible. That list includes Wyoming, which, by the way, will be visiting Utah St.) $50
4) Baylor -13 1/2 (All I got is host TCU is no good this year and I need bets to win in order to get out of debt) $50
5) New Mexico St. -3 (Oh, look -- the last two football members of the Western Athletic Conference who were forced to go independent this year, playing against each other! You know in phy. ed., where the last two people not picked were forced to play together? That's what this game feels like. So I don't have any particular angle on this, I just wanted to note the novelty. I'm betting the Aggies over visiting Idaho because I watched a football game in New Mexico St. once) $50
6) Boston College -2 1/2 (What goes for Wyoming goes the same for Syracuse, although they are hosting the Eagles, which kind of scares me. Who is this Running Back they keep talking about?) $50
7) Louisiana-Lafayette -15 (What goes for Wyoming and Syracuse apparently goes double for road team Louisiana-Monroe. An underdog going up against a team with a .700 winning percentage have lost every single game Straight-Up and lost all but once Against The Spread. Although the other team that falls into this category is San Jose St., which upset Fresno St. Friday night, I'll Best Bet this) $100
8) Missouri -4 1/2 (I think the Tigers claim the SEC East if they beat Texas A&M at home. They have a very good defense which should stifle Johnny Manziel) $50
9) This Covers three-leg parlay: 3), 6) and 7), for $50.
Good luck!
Saturday, November 30, 2013
Friday, November 29, 2013
The Twitter Stream Of Thanksgiving
I don't know who this Elan Gale is, and I hope to God this is real, but you have to take a look at his tweets about an unruly passenger on his flight yesterday. I am on Team Elan.
Thursday, November 28, 2013
Pre-Thanksgiving/Dranksgiving Overeating/Overindulgence
I planned on going to the Minnesota volleyball game after work, so it didn't make much sense to go all the way home. But there is a restaurant close to work of which good things have been spoken of, and so, with 3 1/2 hours to kill, I thought I would try Hazel's Northeast.
I ordered a few of the dishes I've seen recommended -- the fried (possibly Cajun?) pickles, the Reuben and the sweet potato fries. All good, the Reuben in particular. Orobably being the only customer there during the four o'clock hour, I felt safe in taking my time taking out and rearranging my receipts. I wasn't done, however, and I still had some time before the volleyball game, plus I was very happy with my meal. So what the hell, when's the next time I'm going to eat here? I decided to get some dessert, an oatmeal-crusted brownie with ice cream.
Oh, shit. Even though it was delicious, I hit a wall about halfway through it. I got so fat that my gut start to hurt, like I was damaging my appendix again. So for the first time in as long as I could remember, I asked for the rest of the brownie to go.
I was able to eat the appetizer and main course without a problem, but with dessert I hit a wall. I thought I would be able to work off all the food I ate because free parking for the game is so far away I had a good walk ahead of me. But that brownie put on some extra extra calories in me, and I felt no slimmer after hiking that mile or so to the Sports Pavilion.
Out of routine I buy a hot dog and Coke even though I wasn't hungry. (It was also my first and only time at a volleyball game at the U.; just been either too tired or had something else to go to to attend any other game besides this one, the home regular season finale. I wanted to buy some food for a v-ball game at least once, and obviously this was the only time.) I certainly couldn't hold it until I felt the urge to have a bite because it would get cold and I didn't want to hold onto a hot dog the whole game. (By the way, the game turned out to be a relatively tight one; the Gophers beat Wisconsin in four sets, but it lasted a little more than two hours. As tight of a four-set win I've seen in a long time, if not ever.) So I reluctantly sank my teeth into the hot dog, and after a few bites I hit the wall again. I looked at my half-eaten hot dog, shocked that my stomach couldn't, well, stomach another bite of this sports snack. I literally could not eat this food, and that has rarely, if ever, happened to me before. If I were the man I was even ten years ago, this would not be a problem. Eventually I finished it, though it was the most unappetizing hot dog I ever had.
Even though Hazel's was great, I regretted getting that dessert. Nevertheless, that didn't stop me from going to Caffetto after work (with a quick stop at My Favorite Stripclub [Non-Cover Division]), seeing they had pumpkin pie, and thinking I would regret not appropriately celebrating Thanksgiving if I didn't get pumpkin pie, even if it is a day early. And so, even though I still wasn't hungry, I had to purchase the pumpkin pie. Still ate it slowly, and I didn't have as much internal angst over it; it helps that I had a plate and didn't have to hold it in my hand. But I still had to take my time with it, and I think the sharp ache in my gut came back.
---
As I said in my previous post, I woke up early this morning. Since I couldn't fall back asleep, I figured the best thing I can do at this point was go to the community activity center to work out all the food I crammed down my throat the night before. I was able to get about 90 minutes' worth of exercise in. But I forgot that the day after a night full of food would work my excretory system. I took a shit in the morning, I took another shit just before leaving for the gym, then at the gym and before working out I had to take another dump. I felt I needed to take a fourth dump after exercising, but they were closing up the gym by the time I got done working out, so I held my bowels until I got home.
I ordered a few of the dishes I've seen recommended -- the fried (possibly Cajun?) pickles, the Reuben and the sweet potato fries. All good, the Reuben in particular. Orobably being the only customer there during the four o'clock hour, I felt safe in taking my time taking out and rearranging my receipts. I wasn't done, however, and I still had some time before the volleyball game, plus I was very happy with my meal. So what the hell, when's the next time I'm going to eat here? I decided to get some dessert, an oatmeal-crusted brownie with ice cream.
Oh, shit. Even though it was delicious, I hit a wall about halfway through it. I got so fat that my gut start to hurt, like I was damaging my appendix again. So for the first time in as long as I could remember, I asked for the rest of the brownie to go.
I was able to eat the appetizer and main course without a problem, but with dessert I hit a wall. I thought I would be able to work off all the food I ate because free parking for the game is so far away I had a good walk ahead of me. But that brownie put on some extra extra calories in me, and I felt no slimmer after hiking that mile or so to the Sports Pavilion.
Out of routine I buy a hot dog and Coke even though I wasn't hungry. (It was also my first and only time at a volleyball game at the U.; just been either too tired or had something else to go to to attend any other game besides this one, the home regular season finale. I wanted to buy some food for a v-ball game at least once, and obviously this was the only time.) I certainly couldn't hold it until I felt the urge to have a bite because it would get cold and I didn't want to hold onto a hot dog the whole game. (By the way, the game turned out to be a relatively tight one; the Gophers beat Wisconsin in four sets, but it lasted a little more than two hours. As tight of a four-set win I've seen in a long time, if not ever.) So I reluctantly sank my teeth into the hot dog, and after a few bites I hit the wall again. I looked at my half-eaten hot dog, shocked that my stomach couldn't, well, stomach another bite of this sports snack. I literally could not eat this food, and that has rarely, if ever, happened to me before. If I were the man I was even ten years ago, this would not be a problem. Eventually I finished it, though it was the most unappetizing hot dog I ever had.
Even though Hazel's was great, I regretted getting that dessert. Nevertheless, that didn't stop me from going to Caffetto after work (with a quick stop at My Favorite Stripclub [Non-Cover Division]), seeing they had pumpkin pie, and thinking I would regret not appropriately celebrating Thanksgiving if I didn't get pumpkin pie, even if it is a day early. And so, even though I still wasn't hungry, I had to purchase the pumpkin pie. Still ate it slowly, and I didn't have as much internal angst over it; it helps that I had a plate and didn't have to hold it in my hand. But I still had to take my time with it, and I think the sharp ache in my gut came back.
---
As I said in my previous post, I woke up early this morning. Since I couldn't fall back asleep, I figured the best thing I can do at this point was go to the community activity center to work out all the food I crammed down my throat the night before. I was able to get about 90 minutes' worth of exercise in. But I forgot that the day after a night full of food would work my excretory system. I took a shit in the morning, I took another shit just before leaving for the gym, then at the gym and before working out I had to take another dump. I felt I needed to take a fourth dump after exercising, but they were closing up the gym by the time I got done working out, so I held my bowels until I got home.
Dreading This Weekend
I'm telling you, even though it's irrational, I'm dreading working the game this weekend. I really am. I have to face those fucking assholes who are nothing but entitled, power-tripping dicks to me. What will they do for an encore, those throne-sitting, shitting-into-a-golden-bucket schlubs?
I worked the national Thursday game for the Vikings as well. And since I had time, I wanted to get the situation with the banners straightened out. They've always been a challenge -- and it ain't easy, asshole, why don't you fucking do it? -- and so I took a half-hour to find a place where I could put them up with no complications, places where they would stay in place, won't get ripped down, and won't be placed on top of anything it shouldn't be. I've done it before, with some complications, but never to the impossible standards these guys suddenly have after years of being cool with where the banners are placed before.
The alarming thing is, there is none. The places that are taken up by other things that can't be covered. All the other empty spots are places where I can't put up the banner without tape, which this crew suddenly doesn't like. So there are no spots. I'm done. It's done. I can't do it. I'll just piss them off again, and that's without knowing how highly they regard me after the last time I worked with them. They could insult me this Saturday, the day before the game, and the back-and-forth between us could be so toxic I could easily see me fighting back and their insults, getting into a fight with these jerk-offs, and being fired. I don't what to lose this job -- these guys, after all of this, paid me even more than before! -- but I'm not going to take any shit from them if I think it's unfair or bullying.
And this is on top of a very busy week. I could use four days off. Shit, everybody can. But for the Vikings game I'll be up early in the morning Saturday and Sunday. Before they left Mother said to wake up early Black Friday because she wanted me to buy a couple choppers for her. And I'm up now, Thanksgiving Day, because my body still isn't rid of the sleep schedule from work. By the time all this bullshit is done I'll have to wake up at 6 in the morning fucking again ... assuming I still have a job there, which isn't 100%. I want to sleep in, goddammit, and I can't!
Fuck my life.
I worked the national Thursday game for the Vikings as well. And since I had time, I wanted to get the situation with the banners straightened out. They've always been a challenge -- and it ain't easy, asshole, why don't you fucking do it? -- and so I took a half-hour to find a place where I could put them up with no complications, places where they would stay in place, won't get ripped down, and won't be placed on top of anything it shouldn't be. I've done it before, with some complications, but never to the impossible standards these guys suddenly have after years of being cool with where the banners are placed before.
The alarming thing is, there is none. The places that are taken up by other things that can't be covered. All the other empty spots are places where I can't put up the banner without tape, which this crew suddenly doesn't like. So there are no spots. I'm done. It's done. I can't do it. I'll just piss them off again, and that's without knowing how highly they regard me after the last time I worked with them. They could insult me this Saturday, the day before the game, and the back-and-forth between us could be so toxic I could easily see me fighting back and their insults, getting into a fight with these jerk-offs, and being fired. I don't what to lose this job -- these guys, after all of this, paid me even more than before! -- but I'm not going to take any shit from them if I think it's unfair or bullying.
And this is on top of a very busy week. I could use four days off. Shit, everybody can. But for the Vikings game I'll be up early in the morning Saturday and Sunday. Before they left Mother said to wake up early Black Friday because she wanted me to buy a couple choppers for her. And I'm up now, Thanksgiving Day, because my body still isn't rid of the sleep schedule from work. By the time all this bullshit is done I'll have to wake up at 6 in the morning fucking again ... assuming I still have a job there, which isn't 100%. I want to sleep in, goddammit, and I can't!
Fuck my life.
Wednesday, November 27, 2013
The End Of Work, Again
I told my temp liaison today that I love working there. I did not tell him a caveat: Not this point in the project.
When I came in yesterday morning the senior members of our group took a quick inventory of the initial, biggest and most important step of our billing, entering the data for the packets. We didn't have much left. And because we are consistently being underrated at how fast we're going -- seriously, whenever I'm in a work situation, not just as a temp, I'm told more often than not that we're going faster than expected, which is bullshit because people in positions of authority can't be that naïve if it happens all the time -- we are just about done.
By the end of the day we had less than a box left. That's it. My boss's boss (my boss is on vacation till next week) came over, and after some of the other temps pointed out where we're at and, nervously, asked him what's next, he was, um, forthright with what happens next: Denials ... for only three of us.
That puts the pallor and slight tension of Tuesday in a more appropriate context. There was that one girl, that testy, needy girl, who I could hear loudly turning the consent forms she was working on front-and-back, back-to-front. At the time I thought she actually was trying to get attention. I still kind of do -- honestly, she sucks and I don't mind not seeing her ever again -- but if she was upset at the end of her job, I could understand if she was whipping those papers loudly in frustration. I could also understand the few times she got up out of her desk and disappeared for extended periods of time.
There's also the least tenured among us, a guy who's really nice but talks all the time and loudly, talking loud and more than usual yesterday. Sometimes he annoys me and so I just put my headphones on and ignore him. But he made a couple clever jokes yesterday, and I had to salute him. Even though he really needs to shut up more often, I will miss him, mostly because he does good work.
Then there's the guy next to me, the sports fan who makes a lot of mistakes I have to clean up for him and who gets visibly frustrated from time to time. I like the dude, but assuming that he's not going to make it to the next phase of the project, my emotions are torn. Can't say that I'll miss his work temper, but he'd be a nice guy to hang out with. Should make sure I get his contact info in case he goes ... which could be as soon as today.
And finally there's the quiet one, the one who initially worked every other day, and worked half-days on the days she was here. Either she had class or she was sick, or both; regardless, she's managed to come in every day for the past two or three weeks. Her work is clean and she's quiet. I wouldn't mind having her around. Unfortunately, the numbers say that is highly unlikely.
---
Today is going to be tense. With the long holiday coming up and work drying up very fast, there is no reason for these guys not to be let go at the end of the day. That would suck too, being fired the day before Thanksgiving. And we still have to get through the day, one where it's possible, very possible, that they might not have a hell of a lot to do. I could be wrong, but I'm seeing the dwindling packets and can't think of how it could be otherwise.
And that puts me in a bind. I'm sitting on two packets my boss wanted me to do. I'm kind of controlling, and I want to do them. But it's bad form to hog packets when the others could do them. Besides, I have something I can do: Billing. There's a lot of billing to do, and I might as well do that and let them have something to do at least for the day.
Then again, one of the most-tenured among us, the girl who's got her shit together, said before we left yesterday that she's going to help with the billing as well. She's a nice woman, and she only wants to help. Besides, she has nothing else to do now. But she can blaze through her work; I'm a little more, uh, thorough. (That helps because I can find mistakes. For example, yesterday I got stuck doing a packet over because that mousy girl gave a person the code for the wrong insurance company. Took me a half-hour to fix that, no joke.) We have several boxes of invoicing, which really shouldn't have happened because we basically are lopsided along assembly line: We are done with data entry but have created bottlenecks in invoicing and scanning when a more even distribution of labor would have prevented that. I think she sees that and will work fast, very fast ... which means that by the end of today, if not Monday, we could be done. And that really fucking sucks, at least for me.
I was told by my temp liaison that they want to keep me around through the bitter end, even after the billing is done. There's a lot of stuff to do with denials and shit. How long after, I don't know. And I have to talk myself down; there's still a chance I could be shitcanned. Bottom line, all of a sudden I'm concerned with the end of my job, which I have to hope is weeks after the end of the line for many of the other guys who work there.
It's going to be a tough, uncertain day today.
When I came in yesterday morning the senior members of our group took a quick inventory of the initial, biggest and most important step of our billing, entering the data for the packets. We didn't have much left. And because we are consistently being underrated at how fast we're going -- seriously, whenever I'm in a work situation, not just as a temp, I'm told more often than not that we're going faster than expected, which is bullshit because people in positions of authority can't be that naïve if it happens all the time -- we are just about done.
By the end of the day we had less than a box left. That's it. My boss's boss (my boss is on vacation till next week) came over, and after some of the other temps pointed out where we're at and, nervously, asked him what's next, he was, um, forthright with what happens next: Denials ... for only three of us.
That puts the pallor and slight tension of Tuesday in a more appropriate context. There was that one girl, that testy, needy girl, who I could hear loudly turning the consent forms she was working on front-and-back, back-to-front. At the time I thought she actually was trying to get attention. I still kind of do -- honestly, she sucks and I don't mind not seeing her ever again -- but if she was upset at the end of her job, I could understand if she was whipping those papers loudly in frustration. I could also understand the few times she got up out of her desk and disappeared for extended periods of time.
There's also the least tenured among us, a guy who's really nice but talks all the time and loudly, talking loud and more than usual yesterday. Sometimes he annoys me and so I just put my headphones on and ignore him. But he made a couple clever jokes yesterday, and I had to salute him. Even though he really needs to shut up more often, I will miss him, mostly because he does good work.
Then there's the guy next to me, the sports fan who makes a lot of mistakes I have to clean up for him and who gets visibly frustrated from time to time. I like the dude, but assuming that he's not going to make it to the next phase of the project, my emotions are torn. Can't say that I'll miss his work temper, but he'd be a nice guy to hang out with. Should make sure I get his contact info in case he goes ... which could be as soon as today.
And finally there's the quiet one, the one who initially worked every other day, and worked half-days on the days she was here. Either she had class or she was sick, or both; regardless, she's managed to come in every day for the past two or three weeks. Her work is clean and she's quiet. I wouldn't mind having her around. Unfortunately, the numbers say that is highly unlikely.
---
Today is going to be tense. With the long holiday coming up and work drying up very fast, there is no reason for these guys not to be let go at the end of the day. That would suck too, being fired the day before Thanksgiving. And we still have to get through the day, one where it's possible, very possible, that they might not have a hell of a lot to do. I could be wrong, but I'm seeing the dwindling packets and can't think of how it could be otherwise.
And that puts me in a bind. I'm sitting on two packets my boss wanted me to do. I'm kind of controlling, and I want to do them. But it's bad form to hog packets when the others could do them. Besides, I have something I can do: Billing. There's a lot of billing to do, and I might as well do that and let them have something to do at least for the day.
Then again, one of the most-tenured among us, the girl who's got her shit together, said before we left yesterday that she's going to help with the billing as well. She's a nice woman, and she only wants to help. Besides, she has nothing else to do now. But she can blaze through her work; I'm a little more, uh, thorough. (That helps because I can find mistakes. For example, yesterday I got stuck doing a packet over because that mousy girl gave a person the code for the wrong insurance company. Took me a half-hour to fix that, no joke.) We have several boxes of invoicing, which really shouldn't have happened because we basically are lopsided along assembly line: We are done with data entry but have created bottlenecks in invoicing and scanning when a more even distribution of labor would have prevented that. I think she sees that and will work fast, very fast ... which means that by the end of today, if not Monday, we could be done. And that really fucking sucks, at least for me.
I was told by my temp liaison that they want to keep me around through the bitter end, even after the billing is done. There's a lot of stuff to do with denials and shit. How long after, I don't know. And I have to talk myself down; there's still a chance I could be shitcanned. Bottom line, all of a sudden I'm concerned with the end of my job, which I have to hope is weeks after the end of the line for many of the other guys who work there.
It's going to be a tough, uncertain day today.
Tuesday, November 26, 2013
The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey
#-1: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -3). Monday night's results, where the Timberwoofs, Mild and Goofer men's basketball team all lost (thereby burnishing the reputation of the Twin Cities as Loserville, USA) has soured me just before I do this week's survey. Why am I putting the Goofer women's b-ball team on top just for winning two games at Williams over a Kansas team that is not the men's team and a Navy squad that, God bless them, serves our country but is safely disregarded on the court? Because there may not be another chance for this squad to be on top of a WMNSS the rest of their season. Oh: Freshman Center Amanda Zahui B. was named Big Ten Player and Freshman Of The Week for her performances in beating the Jayhawks and Middies, so there's that.
They finish their three-game homestand tonight vs. Loyola before quickly heading out to Honolulu and enjoying Thanksgiving on the eve of the Waikiki Beach Marriott Rainbow Wahine Showdown, where they have games Friday through Sunday against, respectively, Chattanooga, Colorado St., and Hawai'i.
#-2: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -5). They went on the road and beat the two Michigan teams, both of which are ranked in the Top 20. Ashley Wittman is this week's Conference Player Of The Week, and Tori Dixon (whom I did not know till recently is the daughter of Minnesota Vikings lineman David Dixon) is the league's Defensive Player Of The Week. So why are they not #1 here? Well, a bunch of reasons. First, I'm still pessimistic this generates momentum to a tournament run that advances them past the Sweet Sixteen zone they are permanently in (it's a gripe, always being very good without being close to being a championship contender, that I wrote about in last week's WMNSS). Second, I'm pretty sure I put this team on top of a survey, so I feel like spreading the love around. Third, I have other shit I need to do, so I'm not going to second-guess myself. Fourth and finally, my fucking modem's still on the blitz and I misread this team's schedule: I thought they swept Michigan and beat Michigan St. in four at home, which is two home wins, the same as the Gopher women's basketball team, and therefore I thought I had better justification to put the volleyball squad second. By the time I realized my mistake, I had already written out my blurb on the Gopher women's b-ball team. Do I want to change it? Nah -- please see my third reason.
Oh: They finish the regular season this week with games tomorrow at home against Wisconsin (which I will take in, the first and only volleyball game I will get to) and Saturday on the road against Illinois.
#-3: Gopher wrestling (Re-Entry!). We welcome back the University of Minnesota grapplers, which start the season ranked second in the country. Per usual, they start off the season with a pair of victories (both at the Sports Pavilion) over then-20th-ranked Purdue and Wyoming by a combined score of 76-8. Wow. But, like with the U. volleyball team, these guys will always be very good, yet I can never, never see them winning a national championship ever again. I would like to be proved wrong. Their first road dual (they technically began their season with a pair of neutral-site, multi-team invitationals) comes Saturday at Oregon St.
#-4: Wild (Last Week: Positive Numbers). Hmmm ... after what turned out to be a very good start to November, their 2-2 screening week is notable for their two losses, a 6-2 crushing by Montreal and a 3-0 of St. Louis, which finally might win their first Stanley Cup in team history. So far, scoring has not been a problem, unlike it has virtually this franchise's entire existence. A couple of blips on the road isn't the worst thing in the world, it just reminds fans of a chronic woe.
On the upside, they outlasted Ottawa and came back to defeat The Bastard Atlanta Thrashers in a shootout. It's not exactly a clean win, but it's a win nevertheless. This week they come home to play The Bastard Winnipeg Jets, take in a home-and-home against The Bastard Quebec Nordiques, then host Philadelphia.
#-5: Vikings (Last Week: -4). I spent Sunday afternoon at a rare place: At home with my parents as they were preparing to leave. I caught the first half, where Christian Ponder was bootlegging and throwing with confidence, and Scott Tolzein, who wasn't having the worst day in my opinion, not able to hit the receiver in the clutch. And I was stroking myself thinking that the Vikes had a chance, beyond a puncher's, to upset the Pack in Green Bay.
And then I hear as we're getting into their minivan that fucking Matt Flynn comes in. Matt Flynn, the Quarterback who made millions out of coming in to give Aaron Rodgers a break in a last, meaningless game in the regular season and tie franchise records, the guy who then parlayed that to what was supposed to be the starting job with Seattle, only to lose it to Russell Wilson during training camp, the guy who washed out with fucking Oakland. And somehow Flynn starts moving the Packers down the field and scoring. It's like he was the key that unlocked Green Bay's offense, although he may have needed them as much as they needed him.
By the time I got done dropping them off and heading off to the Mall Of America to start celebrating Seven Weeks Of Freedom, they tied the game up at 23 after Minnesota led at one point 20-7. That's when I knew they were going to lose, so I decided to try and take a nap and wait long enough until after the loss. After 20 minutes of being startled by loud kids, accelerating muscle cars and vehicle alarms that got set off by both, I thought waiting until a quarter to 5 was enough to avoid seeing the choke in-person.
But by the time I got to Hooters, I saw about two dozen people standing just outside, looking at the TV screens the breastaurant has. It's not over? Oh, great, I thought to myself, I'll get to see the loss right before my eyes after all. But no, there were mere seconds left and I saw that each team managed to score a field goal in overtime. One dumb ViQueens dump-off-turned-aborted-hook-and-ladder ended the extra session, and for the first time in 35 years (and in my waking existence), the Purple end a game in a tie. That tie back in 1978, by the way, was against the Packers.
Despite the novelty of it all, I got a blue balls kind of feeling to the game, you know? I'm used to either feeling good after a win or screaming bloody murder after a loss, but this? How should you react? I will say, however, that after a lot of reflection, this should be seen as a loss because they had the lead and lost it. And as much as you can nitpick on Ponder not being able to convert on third down, or even mishandling the ball during the team's collapse, it's the defense that yet again broke when they needed to stop the opponent. Remember that in the team's only two wins, against Pittsburgh and Washington, both teams were in the red zone and poised to score touchdowns, only to fail in the final seconds. Green Bay didn't fail here, and so they managed to avert a loss.
I will be at Sunday's game against Chicago. Jay Cutler still isn't ready to come back, so under center for the Bears will be Josh McCown ... 'memba him, Vikings fans? He's the son-of-a-bitch who, while with Arizona, scored the last-play touchdown to knock the Vikings out of the playoffs. As Paul Allen said: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
#-6: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -1). Goddamn Bulldogs. I hated this rival to the Gopher men's hockey team more than any other, for some reason. Maybe I could not understand when I was young how there could be two Universities of Minnesota, and I considered this zombie U. in Duluth -- in Duluth?! -- to be impostors deserving nothing more than scorn. And when they beat my Gophers, which seemed to be often, I hated them even more.
Well, even though we escaped them to venture into the new hockey version of the Big Ten, we still play them from time to time. After all, we are in the same state. And even though the real U. took the first game 6-1, UMD blitzed us right back in the second game, 6-2. Hrumph.
Despite the split at Mariucci, the Gophers cling to #1 in the polls -- although, in the USCHO.com poll, they beat out St. Cloud St. by a single point while trailing the Huskies in first-place votes. And so the male icers begin a new era in program history, kind of. This weekend, Thanksgiving Weekend, the Gophers (and freshman Defenseman Michael Brodzinski, named this week the Big Ten's Third Star) begin play in this new conference at home against ... Wisconsin, the school that moved with them from the WCHA. I think I'll catch the historic first game late Black Friday afternoon, but it'd be nicer if it were against one of the other teams. They'll also play early Saturday evening.
#-7: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: 0). Look, I didn't think this team was going to be Indiana perfect. And even though they started off the week with resounding wins over Coastal Carolina and Wofford, six of their first seven games were played at home. So I wasn't too bummed out when they broke their loser cherry Monday after Monday afternoon's 75-67 defeat to Syracuse in the first round of the Maui Invitational. After all, the Orange is the #8 team in the nation.
However, this afternoon's 87-73 blowout loss to Arkansas is another thing. I have no idea how the Razorbacks are supposed to be this year. But as I was being relayed the "action" while listening to KFAN's Common Man Progrum, it seems like the five-point lead the Goofs had at halftime was pissed away under a crumbling structure of turnovers and lack of poise. There was a nine-minute gap in the second half where they made only one shot from the field. So maybe this team really needs the mulligan year under their new head coach.
They play tomorrow afternoon in the hopes of avoiding being the losingest loser of the Maui Invitational. Good thing they face host and lower-division school Chaminade. Now that I think about it, maybe the game shouldn't count. Wow, maybe it really shouldn't count and I should leave them out of next week's survey. ...
#-8: Timberwolves (Last Week: -2). Wow, what happened to the Woofie Dogs? They went a putrid 1-4 for this week; a win at home over Kevin Garnett and the Brooklyn Nets prevented a pair of two-game losing streaks from fusing together to become a Voltron-like five-game losing streak. Combined with the swoon the U. men have been in the past 48 hours, Twin Cities hoops hopes have been harshly hampered.
Don't know what it could be besides defense. For that, the Timberwolves made a trade today, sending the second overall pick in the draft from a couple years ago, Derrick Williams, to The Bastard Cincinnati Royals (by way of Omaha/Kansas City) in exchange for Luc Richard Mbah a Moute. He's not considered to be more than a complimentary player, but he can play some D, something Head Coach Rick Adelman likes and something this team needs. This week: home to Denver, at Dallas, at The Bastard Seattle SuperSonics.
#-9: Gopher football (Re-Entry!). I feel bad putting them at the bottom of the WMNSS, but everybody else at least won one game (or, in the Vikings' case, did not lose). And they did cover the Las Vegas spread of, what, 16 or 17 points as their four-game winning streak was snapped at home by Wisconsin, 20-7.
In fact there are many positives to take from this defeat, the tenth straight in the fight for Paul Bunyan's Ax. I was able to catch much of the first half of the game from the community fitness center, and they were in it. In particular I like how the team was able to tackle. As soon as a Gopher defender got to a Badger, down he went. The Vikings could use some tips from Jerry Kill & Co. Seriously, coaching is how you improve on fundamentals. The players on the U. are not the most talented, nor were they the highest-rated coming out of high school. To have them play stout and sound defense is teaching. That is quite impressive.
When the defense locks the opposing offense down, opportunities arise. So when I saw Aaron Hill catch an errant ball thrown by Wisconsin Quarterback Joel Stave and return it all the way for a touchdown, I was jumping up and down and shouting, "Go! Go!" There were two women sitting behind a table selling tickets to the hockey game next door, and there was a window between us. I hope that they were too busy talking to each other to see me ... and I also hope the wall is soundproof.
Unfortunately the offense could not score any points. It was a cold day, but the few drops I saw in the first half would have helped the Minnesota O tremendously in eating up the clock and marching down the field. In the end, though, Wisconsin won the time of possession and the turnover battle, and therefore this is another year where the U. does not possess any of the trophies that count. (Yes, Minnesota and Penn St. play for a trophy too, but the Governor's Victory Bell was contrived because Minnesota was the Nittany Lions' first opponent as a member of the Big Ten. Besides, after the Goofs won it this year, they broke it.)
Not saying I'm not happy or joyful for the team's breakthrough year, but after Saturday's regular season finale at Michigan St. (a game I thought would be competitive, but now, not so much), I'm happy to be able to thin out the number of teams I have to write for in this blog post.
They finish their three-game homestand tonight vs. Loyola before quickly heading out to Honolulu and enjoying Thanksgiving on the eve of the Waikiki Beach Marriott Rainbow Wahine Showdown, where they have games Friday through Sunday against, respectively, Chattanooga, Colorado St., and Hawai'i.
#-2: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -5). They went on the road and beat the two Michigan teams, both of which are ranked in the Top 20. Ashley Wittman is this week's Conference Player Of The Week, and Tori Dixon (whom I did not know till recently is the daughter of Minnesota Vikings lineman David Dixon) is the league's Defensive Player Of The Week. So why are they not #1 here? Well, a bunch of reasons. First, I'm still pessimistic this generates momentum to a tournament run that advances them past the Sweet Sixteen zone they are permanently in (it's a gripe, always being very good without being close to being a championship contender, that I wrote about in last week's WMNSS). Second, I'm pretty sure I put this team on top of a survey, so I feel like spreading the love around. Third, I have other shit I need to do, so I'm not going to second-guess myself. Fourth and finally, my fucking modem's still on the blitz and I misread this team's schedule: I thought they swept Michigan and beat Michigan St. in four at home, which is two home wins, the same as the Gopher women's basketball team, and therefore I thought I had better justification to put the volleyball squad second. By the time I realized my mistake, I had already written out my blurb on the Gopher women's b-ball team. Do I want to change it? Nah -- please see my third reason.
Oh: They finish the regular season this week with games tomorrow at home against Wisconsin (which I will take in, the first and only volleyball game I will get to) and Saturday on the road against Illinois.
#-3: Gopher wrestling (Re-Entry!). We welcome back the University of Minnesota grapplers, which start the season ranked second in the country. Per usual, they start off the season with a pair of victories (both at the Sports Pavilion) over then-20th-ranked Purdue and Wyoming by a combined score of 76-8. Wow. But, like with the U. volleyball team, these guys will always be very good, yet I can never, never see them winning a national championship ever again. I would like to be proved wrong. Their first road dual (they technically began their season with a pair of neutral-site, multi-team invitationals) comes Saturday at Oregon St.
#-4: Wild (Last Week: Positive Numbers). Hmmm ... after what turned out to be a very good start to November, their 2-2 screening week is notable for their two losses, a 6-2 crushing by Montreal and a 3-0 of St. Louis, which finally might win their first Stanley Cup in team history. So far, scoring has not been a problem, unlike it has virtually this franchise's entire existence. A couple of blips on the road isn't the worst thing in the world, it just reminds fans of a chronic woe.
On the upside, they outlasted Ottawa and came back to defeat The Bastard Atlanta Thrashers in a shootout. It's not exactly a clean win, but it's a win nevertheless. This week they come home to play The Bastard Winnipeg Jets, take in a home-and-home against The Bastard Quebec Nordiques, then host Philadelphia.
#-5: Vikings (Last Week: -4). I spent Sunday afternoon at a rare place: At home with my parents as they were preparing to leave. I caught the first half, where Christian Ponder was bootlegging and throwing with confidence, and Scott Tolzein, who wasn't having the worst day in my opinion, not able to hit the receiver in the clutch. And I was stroking myself thinking that the Vikes had a chance, beyond a puncher's, to upset the Pack in Green Bay.
And then I hear as we're getting into their minivan that fucking Matt Flynn comes in. Matt Flynn, the Quarterback who made millions out of coming in to give Aaron Rodgers a break in a last, meaningless game in the regular season and tie franchise records, the guy who then parlayed that to what was supposed to be the starting job with Seattle, only to lose it to Russell Wilson during training camp, the guy who washed out with fucking Oakland. And somehow Flynn starts moving the Packers down the field and scoring. It's like he was the key that unlocked Green Bay's offense, although he may have needed them as much as they needed him.
By the time I got done dropping them off and heading off to the Mall Of America to start celebrating Seven Weeks Of Freedom, they tied the game up at 23 after Minnesota led at one point 20-7. That's when I knew they were going to lose, so I decided to try and take a nap and wait long enough until after the loss. After 20 minutes of being startled by loud kids, accelerating muscle cars and vehicle alarms that got set off by both, I thought waiting until a quarter to 5 was enough to avoid seeing the choke in-person.
But by the time I got to Hooters, I saw about two dozen people standing just outside, looking at the TV screens the breastaurant has. It's not over? Oh, great, I thought to myself, I'll get to see the loss right before my eyes after all. But no, there were mere seconds left and I saw that each team managed to score a field goal in overtime. One dumb ViQueens dump-off-turned-aborted-hook-and-ladder ended the extra session, and for the first time in 35 years (and in my waking existence), the Purple end a game in a tie. That tie back in 1978, by the way, was against the Packers.
Despite the novelty of it all, I got a blue balls kind of feeling to the game, you know? I'm used to either feeling good after a win or screaming bloody murder after a loss, but this? How should you react? I will say, however, that after a lot of reflection, this should be seen as a loss because they had the lead and lost it. And as much as you can nitpick on Ponder not being able to convert on third down, or even mishandling the ball during the team's collapse, it's the defense that yet again broke when they needed to stop the opponent. Remember that in the team's only two wins, against Pittsburgh and Washington, both teams were in the red zone and poised to score touchdowns, only to fail in the final seconds. Green Bay didn't fail here, and so they managed to avert a loss.
I will be at Sunday's game against Chicago. Jay Cutler still isn't ready to come back, so under center for the Bears will be Josh McCown ... 'memba him, Vikings fans? He's the son-of-a-bitch who, while with Arizona, scored the last-play touchdown to knock the Vikings out of the playoffs. As Paul Allen said: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
#-6: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -1). Goddamn Bulldogs. I hated this rival to the Gopher men's hockey team more than any other, for some reason. Maybe I could not understand when I was young how there could be two Universities of Minnesota, and I considered this zombie U. in Duluth -- in Duluth?! -- to be impostors deserving nothing more than scorn. And when they beat my Gophers, which seemed to be often, I hated them even more.
Well, even though we escaped them to venture into the new hockey version of the Big Ten, we still play them from time to time. After all, we are in the same state. And even though the real U. took the first game 6-1, UMD blitzed us right back in the second game, 6-2. Hrumph.
Despite the split at Mariucci, the Gophers cling to #1 in the polls -- although, in the USCHO.com poll, they beat out St. Cloud St. by a single point while trailing the Huskies in first-place votes. And so the male icers begin a new era in program history, kind of. This weekend, Thanksgiving Weekend, the Gophers (and freshman Defenseman Michael Brodzinski, named this week the Big Ten's Third Star) begin play in this new conference at home against ... Wisconsin, the school that moved with them from the WCHA. I think I'll catch the historic first game late Black Friday afternoon, but it'd be nicer if it were against one of the other teams. They'll also play early Saturday evening.
#-7: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: 0). Look, I didn't think this team was going to be Indiana perfect. And even though they started off the week with resounding wins over Coastal Carolina and Wofford, six of their first seven games were played at home. So I wasn't too bummed out when they broke their loser cherry Monday after Monday afternoon's 75-67 defeat to Syracuse in the first round of the Maui Invitational. After all, the Orange is the #8 team in the nation.
However, this afternoon's 87-73 blowout loss to Arkansas is another thing. I have no idea how the Razorbacks are supposed to be this year. But as I was being relayed the "action" while listening to KFAN's Common Man Progrum, it seems like the five-point lead the Goofs had at halftime was pissed away under a crumbling structure of turnovers and lack of poise. There was a nine-minute gap in the second half where they made only one shot from the field. So maybe this team really needs the mulligan year under their new head coach.
They play tomorrow afternoon in the hopes of avoiding being the losingest loser of the Maui Invitational. Good thing they face host and lower-division school Chaminade. Now that I think about it, maybe the game shouldn't count. Wow, maybe it really shouldn't count and I should leave them out of next week's survey. ...
#-8: Timberwolves (Last Week: -2). Wow, what happened to the Woofie Dogs? They went a putrid 1-4 for this week; a win at home over Kevin Garnett and the Brooklyn Nets prevented a pair of two-game losing streaks from fusing together to become a Voltron-like five-game losing streak. Combined with the swoon the U. men have been in the past 48 hours, Twin Cities hoops hopes have been harshly hampered.
Don't know what it could be besides defense. For that, the Timberwolves made a trade today, sending the second overall pick in the draft from a couple years ago, Derrick Williams, to The Bastard Cincinnati Royals (by way of Omaha/Kansas City) in exchange for Luc Richard Mbah a Moute. He's not considered to be more than a complimentary player, but he can play some D, something Head Coach Rick Adelman likes and something this team needs. This week: home to Denver, at Dallas, at The Bastard Seattle SuperSonics.
#-9: Gopher football (Re-Entry!). I feel bad putting them at the bottom of the WMNSS, but everybody else at least won one game (or, in the Vikings' case, did not lose). And they did cover the Las Vegas spread of, what, 16 or 17 points as their four-game winning streak was snapped at home by Wisconsin, 20-7.
In fact there are many positives to take from this defeat, the tenth straight in the fight for Paul Bunyan's Ax. I was able to catch much of the first half of the game from the community fitness center, and they were in it. In particular I like how the team was able to tackle. As soon as a Gopher defender got to a Badger, down he went. The Vikings could use some tips from Jerry Kill & Co. Seriously, coaching is how you improve on fundamentals. The players on the U. are not the most talented, nor were they the highest-rated coming out of high school. To have them play stout and sound defense is teaching. That is quite impressive.
When the defense locks the opposing offense down, opportunities arise. So when I saw Aaron Hill catch an errant ball thrown by Wisconsin Quarterback Joel Stave and return it all the way for a touchdown, I was jumping up and down and shouting, "Go! Go!" There were two women sitting behind a table selling tickets to the hockey game next door, and there was a window between us. I hope that they were too busy talking to each other to see me ... and I also hope the wall is soundproof.
Unfortunately the offense could not score any points. It was a cold day, but the few drops I saw in the first half would have helped the Minnesota O tremendously in eating up the clock and marching down the field. In the end, though, Wisconsin won the time of possession and the turnover battle, and therefore this is another year where the U. does not possess any of the trophies that count. (Yes, Minnesota and Penn St. play for a trophy too, but the Governor's Victory Bell was contrived because Minnesota was the Nittany Lions' first opponent as a member of the Big Ten. Besides, after the Goofs won it this year, they broke it.)
Not saying I'm not happy or joyful for the team's breakthrough year, but after Saturday's regular season finale at Michigan St. (a game I thought would be competitive, but now, not so much), I'm happy to be able to thin out the number of teams I have to write for in this blog post.
Monday, November 25, 2013
A Little Bitchiness Before Her Bon Voyage
I could have handled it better, but I didn't. My parents left for their vacation yesterday, and Mother wanted me to go through all the bills I need to pay for them while they're gone one more time. I think I sighed audibly in frustration, and that's where the miscommunication began. I did that because she once again made me face up to responsibilities I can't fathom without me seeing it (namely when the bill actually comes). She probably took it as me being frustrated over nothing yet again.
Since we're coming down to the brass tacks here, I did think it was important to write down anything that I didn't have a handle on. I guess that meant to her I didn't remember all the things she said about the bills in the days and weeks leading up to today. That's true, but I don't think I wanted to convey that I wasn't listening then -- or that I wasn't trying to listen.
The worst came when she wanted to review with me the bills about the Vegas properties. Some of them have to be paid online, some through the mail, and she has different rules about how long I needed to pay. She said she didn't know because she was told online payment may become an option. Or something. Let's just say that complicates things, and I won't be able to know what to do until, at the very least, I get the bill. By the way, I ask her how many bills will I need to expect from Las Vegas? And then she tells me that's not important, and I tell her I need to know what to expect ... basically I think she misunderstood my question and I just got even more petulant, and she got angrier for the same reason. Suffice it to say, once I got the answer I wanted to my satisfaction, I started writing things down and basically shutting her and her comments down, to which she replied under her breath the Chinese equivalent of, I think, "Asshole." That bitch has said that all her life.
But I have to take a step back and admit my fault in this. From my perspective, Mother was only nagging once again about shit that's so overwhelming and nebulous that I really won't know how to deal with it until I have to deal with it. However, from her perspective, she's concerned about bills that she won't be able to pay, and her son wasn't giving her confidence that he'll be able to take care of it despite the fact that she went through it with him a few times leading up to the trip.
At any rate, once I got through it all (there was one question about a particular bill that I really needed answering, and she whined, "I already you told you" -- rightly so, because she did), we were all hunky-dory. I hope she was in a good, or at least anticipatory, mood when I dropped my parents off at the airport. I feel bad, however, that my behavior dampened what should have been a happy day ... and I'm scared that last impression is going to reappear in Mother's mind when they come back.
Since we're coming down to the brass tacks here, I did think it was important to write down anything that I didn't have a handle on. I guess that meant to her I didn't remember all the things she said about the bills in the days and weeks leading up to today. That's true, but I don't think I wanted to convey that I wasn't listening then -- or that I wasn't trying to listen.
The worst came when she wanted to review with me the bills about the Vegas properties. Some of them have to be paid online, some through the mail, and she has different rules about how long I needed to pay. She said she didn't know because she was told online payment may become an option. Or something. Let's just say that complicates things, and I won't be able to know what to do until, at the very least, I get the bill. By the way, I ask her how many bills will I need to expect from Las Vegas? And then she tells me that's not important, and I tell her I need to know what to expect ... basically I think she misunderstood my question and I just got even more petulant, and she got angrier for the same reason. Suffice it to say, once I got the answer I wanted to my satisfaction, I started writing things down and basically shutting her and her comments down, to which she replied under her breath the Chinese equivalent of, I think, "Asshole." That bitch has said that all her life.
But I have to take a step back and admit my fault in this. From my perspective, Mother was only nagging once again about shit that's so overwhelming and nebulous that I really won't know how to deal with it until I have to deal with it. However, from her perspective, she's concerned about bills that she won't be able to pay, and her son wasn't giving her confidence that he'll be able to take care of it despite the fact that she went through it with him a few times leading up to the trip.
At any rate, once I got through it all (there was one question about a particular bill that I really needed answering, and she whined, "I already you told you" -- rightly so, because she did), we were all hunky-dory. I hope she was in a good, or at least anticipatory, mood when I dropped my parents off at the airport. I feel bad, however, that my behavior dampened what should have been a happy day ... and I'm scared that last impression is going to reappear in Mother's mind when they come back.
Sunday, November 24, 2013
NFL Anti-Picks, Week 12
Record, Week 11: 0-3
Overall Record: 27-42
Total Outlay, Week 11: $300.00
Total Winnings, Week 11: $0
Loss, Week 10: $300.00
Overall Loss: $1,290.62
Well, that fucking sucked. Failing at three simple bets, of varying dollar amounts, does nothing to boost my confidence. I really thought the Jets would cover as small favorites and that the Vikings and Chiefs would be able to at least backdoor cover as underdogs. Wrong, wrong, and dead fucking wrong. And so, fuck me for now having a $1,300 hole to climb out of by the Super Bowl. And my belief that I can get any game right is shot.
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Fucking modem's on the fritz, again, have to make this quick:
1) San Diego +3 1/2 (Kansas City may be suffering a letdown after losing for the first time all year in Denver. The Chargers play in K.C., though, so I'll bet light) $50
2) St. Louis -1 (How is the injury to Jay Cutler going to affect Chicago? I don't know, but I kind of feel like the Rams are getting a lot better, and they are playing the Bears in the Loo. Best Bet this) $100
3) Tampa Bay +7 (Getting a lot better. They visit Detroit, whose run defense is stout but whose pass defense is lousy. I am kind of banking on the Bucaneers, and Mike Glennon, to pass his way to a cover) $50
4) Jacksonville +10 1/2 (Houston is in disarray; tensions reached a fever pitch at the end of last week's loss when Matt Schaub argued with Andre Johnson and Johnson left the field before the game was over. I know it's the Jagauars, but look at the line! Best Bet this) $100
5) New York Giants -2 1/2 (The G-Men are playing a lot better, and they're playing at home. And I just kind of feel like this is the point of the season where Dallas starts being the Benny Hill clown show they've become at some point each of the last several years. Best Bet this) $100
6) Denver -2 1/2 (I'm banking that New England's schematic advantage wilts in the face of the Broncos' immense talent. They're playing in New England? Doesn't matter. Best Bet this) $100
No parlays; don't deserve to play them. Good luck!
Overall Record: 27-42
Total Outlay, Week 11: $300.00
Total Winnings, Week 11: $0
Loss, Week 10: $300.00
Overall Loss: $1,290.62
Well, that fucking sucked. Failing at three simple bets, of varying dollar amounts, does nothing to boost my confidence. I really thought the Jets would cover as small favorites and that the Vikings and Chiefs would be able to at least backdoor cover as underdogs. Wrong, wrong, and dead fucking wrong. And so, fuck me for now having a $1,300 hole to climb out of by the Super Bowl. And my belief that I can get any game right is shot.
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Fucking modem's on the fritz, again, have to make this quick:
1) San Diego +3 1/2 (Kansas City may be suffering a letdown after losing for the first time all year in Denver. The Chargers play in K.C., though, so I'll bet light) $50
2) St. Louis -1 (How is the injury to Jay Cutler going to affect Chicago? I don't know, but I kind of feel like the Rams are getting a lot better, and they are playing the Bears in the Loo. Best Bet this) $100
3) Tampa Bay +7 (Getting a lot better. They visit Detroit, whose run defense is stout but whose pass defense is lousy. I am kind of banking on the Bucaneers, and Mike Glennon, to pass his way to a cover) $50
4) Jacksonville +10 1/2 (Houston is in disarray; tensions reached a fever pitch at the end of last week's loss when Matt Schaub argued with Andre Johnson and Johnson left the field before the game was over. I know it's the Jagauars, but look at the line! Best Bet this) $100
5) New York Giants -2 1/2 (The G-Men are playing a lot better, and they're playing at home. And I just kind of feel like this is the point of the season where Dallas starts being the Benny Hill clown show they've become at some point each of the last several years. Best Bet this) $100
6) Denver -2 1/2 (I'm banking that New England's schematic advantage wilts in the face of the Broncos' immense talent. They're playing in New England? Doesn't matter. Best Bet this) $100
No parlays; don't deserve to play them. Good luck!
Saturday, November 23, 2013
Free-Floating Anxiety
I should be happy that my parents are leaving on their vacation soon and I'll have the run of the house for the holidays. But helping my folks prepare for Europe has been a challenge, and I still don't know if they're going to be safe over there, especially during the days when no relative, such as my sister or uncle, is there to help them navigate and they're out all on their own. I kind of feel like a parent seeing off his or her child at the first day of school: I'm nervous but also excited for them.
Complicating all of this is the paperwork, namely the bills, I'll need to take care of for them while they're away. They have so fucking many. Worst of all is that I have to track them in order to pay them. Some of them are through the mail -- and in that, some of them she wants me to pay two months in advance, some a year, some with this checking account, others with that checking account, blah-blah-blah. And don't get me started with the online payments. There are, like, a fucking dozen I'll need pay for, each one of them with its own username and password. She has them down somewhere, but even then I don't think I'll get it right.
One other thing I need to worry about is the next Vikings game. The same production crew is doing the game, with the same bullying assholes who shocked me with their disrespect. I don't know what to expect from them, but I'm hoping they'll be professional. I should be happy that I'm working regardless, but hey, if they turn out to be just as bad or even worse, that's a lot of shit that'l stay with me to the next Vikings game ... which they may also be working. Fuck my life.
Oh, and Mother just asked me to wake up at 6 in the morning Black Friday to buy her two choppers. Great.
Complicating all of this is the paperwork, namely the bills, I'll need to take care of for them while they're away. They have so fucking many. Worst of all is that I have to track them in order to pay them. Some of them are through the mail -- and in that, some of them she wants me to pay two months in advance, some a year, some with this checking account, others with that checking account, blah-blah-blah. And don't get me started with the online payments. There are, like, a fucking dozen I'll need pay for, each one of them with its own username and password. She has them down somewhere, but even then I don't think I'll get it right.
One other thing I need to worry about is the next Vikings game. The same production crew is doing the game, with the same bullying assholes who shocked me with their disrespect. I don't know what to expect from them, but I'm hoping they'll be professional. I should be happy that I'm working regardless, but hey, if they turn out to be just as bad or even worse, that's a lot of shit that'l stay with me to the next Vikings game ... which they may also be working. Fuck my life.
Oh, and Mother just asked me to wake up at 6 in the morning Black Friday to buy her two choppers. Great.
College Football Anti-Picks, Week 13
Record, Week 12: 4-4
Total Record: 42-49-2
Total Outlay, Week 12: $750.00
Total Winnings, Week 12: $668.15
Loss, Week 12: $81.85
Overall Loss: $210.62
A step back. For the second week in a row I put my money on Central Florida when I shouldn't have, since they failed to cover again. Also failing me is South Carolina. I may have wagered on them to cover when they didn't earlier in the season, and so it's my fault if I went to the Gamecock well once again. That sunk my $100 parlay. Therefore, while I went 1-1 for my $150 and 2-1 on the $50, I went 1-2 with the $100 best. One extra winning $50 up against one losing $100 means I lost for the week. Not the worst thing in the world, but I thought I had the hang of betting big favorites late in the college football season, and this week said I didn't.
---
I am pissed that this stripper bitch ripped me off, so no introduction:
1) Minnesota +16 1/2 (They host Wisconsin, and even though the Badgers have been a tank on the ground, the Golden Gophers can run the ball, too. I'm really frightened that the oddsmakers know something I don't, but I really believe that this line is out of whack. In fact, I really think Minnesota has a chance to win back Paul Bunyan's Ax for the first time in a decade. Yeah, I'm nuts enough to Best Bet this Against The Spread ...) $100
2) Minnesota M/L +527 (... and also bet on them Straight-Up) $50
3) Oregon -20 1/2 (I'm not as hot on the Ducks as I would if they were the juggernaut of yore. But they have shown serious weakness in facing disciplined defenses whose players stay in their lanes and, most importantly, are strong. I don't know if Arizona is strong, but Oregon is playing on their turf. I'll tread lightly) $50
4) Oregon-Arizona Over 67.5 (To make up for not Best Betting the Ducks, I'll bet the Over on this game. I think the Wildcats are good enough to score, oh, 20 points) $50
5) Stanford -31 1/2 (Host Cal. Rivalry games always scare me -- and by the way, why is this rivalry game being played the next-to-last week of the season, not the last week? I know the Cardinal finish next week hosting Notre Dame, but still, this is Cal -- but the Golden Bears lost to Colorado, making Cal the worst team in the Pac-12. Stanford has added incentive to bounce back from their upset loss last week at USC by beating the everlasting shit out of Cal. Best Bet this) $100
6) UCLA +2 (Host Arizona St.; winner is in the driver's seat to win the Pac-12 South. That's enough reason for the Bruins to show up. Why are the road Sun Devils the favorite? This UCLA Linebacker-turned-Running Back will score, like, five fucking touchdowns on them. Best Bet these guys ATS ...) $100
7) UCLA M/L +110 (... then bet on them SU) $50
8) Baylor-Oklahoma St. Over 78 (I don't know who's going to win the game, but I feel fairly certain they can each put up six touchdowns apiece. Best Bet this) $100
9) Home dog parlay: 2) with 6), for $50.
10) Over parlay: 4) with 8), for $50.
Good luck!
Total Record: 42-49-2
Total Outlay, Week 12: $750.00
Total Winnings, Week 12: $668.15
Loss, Week 12: $81.85
Overall Loss: $210.62
A step back. For the second week in a row I put my money on Central Florida when I shouldn't have, since they failed to cover again. Also failing me is South Carolina. I may have wagered on them to cover when they didn't earlier in the season, and so it's my fault if I went to the Gamecock well once again. That sunk my $100 parlay. Therefore, while I went 1-1 for my $150 and 2-1 on the $50, I went 1-2 with the $100 best. One extra winning $50 up against one losing $100 means I lost for the week. Not the worst thing in the world, but I thought I had the hang of betting big favorites late in the college football season, and this week said I didn't.
---
I am pissed that this stripper bitch ripped me off, so no introduction:
1) Minnesota +16 1/2 (They host Wisconsin, and even though the Badgers have been a tank on the ground, the Golden Gophers can run the ball, too. I'm really frightened that the oddsmakers know something I don't, but I really believe that this line is out of whack. In fact, I really think Minnesota has a chance to win back Paul Bunyan's Ax for the first time in a decade. Yeah, I'm nuts enough to Best Bet this Against The Spread ...) $100
2) Minnesota M/L +527 (... and also bet on them Straight-Up) $50
3) Oregon -20 1/2 (I'm not as hot on the Ducks as I would if they were the juggernaut of yore. But they have shown serious weakness in facing disciplined defenses whose players stay in their lanes and, most importantly, are strong. I don't know if Arizona is strong, but Oregon is playing on their turf. I'll tread lightly) $50
4) Oregon-Arizona Over 67.5 (To make up for not Best Betting the Ducks, I'll bet the Over on this game. I think the Wildcats are good enough to score, oh, 20 points) $50
5) Stanford -31 1/2 (Host Cal. Rivalry games always scare me -- and by the way, why is this rivalry game being played the next-to-last week of the season, not the last week? I know the Cardinal finish next week hosting Notre Dame, but still, this is Cal -- but the Golden Bears lost to Colorado, making Cal the worst team in the Pac-12. Stanford has added incentive to bounce back from their upset loss last week at USC by beating the everlasting shit out of Cal. Best Bet this) $100
6) UCLA +2 (Host Arizona St.; winner is in the driver's seat to win the Pac-12 South. That's enough reason for the Bruins to show up. Why are the road Sun Devils the favorite? This UCLA Linebacker-turned-Running Back will score, like, five fucking touchdowns on them. Best Bet these guys ATS ...) $100
7) UCLA M/L +110 (... then bet on them SU) $50
8) Baylor-Oklahoma St. Over 78 (I don't know who's going to win the game, but I feel fairly certain they can each put up six touchdowns apiece. Best Bet this) $100
9) Home dog parlay: 2) with 6), for $50.
10) Over parlay: 4) with 8), for $50.
Good luck!
Friday, November 22, 2013
Hope To Whip Out My Pee-Pee Again
OK, so I was at this party a few weeks ago. This is a different house party, not hosted by *e** but by a girl who still dances at My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Version), ********a. This was, I think, my fourth time going to this party. It wasn't my favorite, to be honest, because before I came over for my first visit ********a said I had to keep it in my pants. Oh, darn.
Still, she invites me over. I've been good to all the dancers there; I've gotten one dance from each girl working the party that night. But if there is no contact, let alone extras, why would I go? Nevertheless I went to this one. First of all, ********a invited me personally through Facebook. Second of all, I've missed the past couple parties she's thrown, and I don't want to completely lose her favor. Third of all, the roster of four was the strongest of my four visits there, including two girls, *****y and *****e, that still work at My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Edition). While this house party is tame (or purports to be tame), the rules at this place are different than those at My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Division) -- specifically, you are allowed to touch the stripper's breasts. And those two girls have tits I've wanted to lay hands on for years. Finally, I'm still a fucking pervert, so I'm not gonna stop trying to take out my pee-pee at this place in the hopes that one of them will placate my evil urges and touch my dick. One girl groped me the last time I went, thus I'm encouraged.
So soon after I got there the fourth girl, ****a, asked me if I wanted to get a dance from her. She's really hot: nice-sized boobs that are real, let's me see the cooch once in a while. I had no complaints. So we went downstairs where, luckily for me, *****y was finishing up with another fat guy customer as we were starting. And just like that, my dick got hard. Come on, two girls!
But I had to play it cool. I needed to make sure that this guy didn't see as he went back upstairs. Then, even though this was not part of my plan, only fortuitousness, I told ****a that it was just my luck *****y was down there because now I could just ask her down there for a dance after I got done with ****a. No worries, ****a said -- she just asked *****y to not follow the guy he gave a lap dance to upstairs and instead wait around for me.
Then, I was wondering what to do with my erection. Neither of these girls have seen it before, and if neither of them liked me taking it out (or, worse, both of them didn't like it), I would be facing a 2-on-1 down there, by myself, with no one being able to hear me. Well, some of the guys upstairs would be able to hear me, and then they'd probably do what they'd order them to do, which is kick my ass. So I wasn't going to just take it out right in front of them. Hopefully there'd be an easier way of doing that, such as them taking it out for me.
Instead, surprising me, it kind of slipped out on its own. I always wear my porno pants to house parties like these, and I always make sure the fly's open so I have easy access. It rarely ever comes out anymore, mostly because my penis isn't hard enough at these places to have enough strength to slip through the hole. But seeing two gorgeous women around me made me salute.
I felt the wind from ****a's gyrations on my dick; that's when I thought something was, uh, "wrong." Then, the only light in the basement cast a light on the left side of my pee-pee. *****y may or may not have spotted it, but ****a was lying across my legs, left to right, so she didn't see it. I was at a crossroads: Tuck myself back in, or take it out. I decided to be conservative and reholstered myself. I don't know if I could offend two people at once.
I still don't know if ****a got a look, but, being the pervert that I am, I hope she did and didn't mind. Later in the night she left the party. She had been complaining about all the smoke inside the house triggering her asthma, but when I said something like, "Do you need a ride home?" (see, I'm always a pervert) she snapped at me. Maybe she did see it.
---
It was ****a who made her way upstairs after our hot dance, leaving the entire basement to me and *****y. This place is rarely empty; there are usually several guys there, and they do pay the money to get dances from the strippers that work. Having a very rare 1-on-1, I was less concerned about *****y seeing my hard cock.
And you know, maybe it was the way I was lying on the bed or something, but OMG, it popped out again! And this time *****y did see it. She was about to sit on top of me I think when she saw my hard-on. "Wow, it's got a mind of its own!" to which I replied ... something. I hope it was funny, but I don't remember if I was able to stammer out anything at all.
*****y always has a poker face. Hell, I don't even consider her one of the nicer dancers at My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Version), plus she has an overrated face. But she's got one of the nicest bodies there. She upgraded her tits, which I was able to feel (you can tell they're fake, but they're spectacular nevertheless). She didn't seem to care, and it didn't look like she told ********a that it came out. However, later in the party, we sat at opposite ends of the couch talking to another guy that was hanging out there. I was kind of slapping her in such a way to get her attention, you know, because I wanted to interject into the conversation, when this other guy kept talking. Well, as I was waiting for this other guy to finish, *****y saw my hand, slapped it away and got up from the couch. Okaaaaaaaaay.
I'm going to get a dance from her at the stripclub, just as a peace offering.
---
*****e was next. I thought she was going to be the prize of the party, so as soon as I saw she was free, I asked that we go downstairs. As much as I wanted to grab her real but small tits, it was her rocking abs that I wanted to touch more. She's walking sex, y'all. And she was wearing a Vikings bikini, the front of the top of which she pulled down to reveal her breasts.
It was hard, but it did not come out. Good thing, because there was someone else right there.
---
********a was last. As she was the last time, she was drunk as fuck. Last party I bit into her humongous breasts so hard she recoiled in horror. I made sure to respect her request never to do that again. Anything else, however, is in play, in my opinion.
It did not get hard. ********a's really smart, and she's really nice. But she's, at best, buxom, and beyond rubbing her tits over my pants, I don't get hard when she's on top of me. This time, however, I did get a semi. And after we were done, she did see that semi and groped it. Ding-ding-ding!!! We were alone, and my back was towards the staircase, so I said, "Hey, you want to touch it for real?" and I whipped it out! To which she said, "No, not here!!!" and I playfully tucked myself back in.
********a was not mad after I did that. How do I know that? Because she invited me to her next party. Which is tonight. And although *****y isn't there (boy, she must really be mad at me), ****a and *****e will be. I think it's time I whipped it out on them -- hopefully alone. Best of all, ****e* will be there instead. Not only do I need her number, which I lost when my cellphone got all jacked up, but we've been talking for some time for extras. This would be a great occasion to arrange that -- or to actually get that. Wish me luck!
Still, she invites me over. I've been good to all the dancers there; I've gotten one dance from each girl working the party that night. But if there is no contact, let alone extras, why would I go? Nevertheless I went to this one. First of all, ********a invited me personally through Facebook. Second of all, I've missed the past couple parties she's thrown, and I don't want to completely lose her favor. Third of all, the roster of four was the strongest of my four visits there, including two girls, *****y and *****e, that still work at My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Edition). While this house party is tame (or purports to be tame), the rules at this place are different than those at My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Division) -- specifically, you are allowed to touch the stripper's breasts. And those two girls have tits I've wanted to lay hands on for years. Finally, I'm still a fucking pervert, so I'm not gonna stop trying to take out my pee-pee at this place in the hopes that one of them will placate my evil urges and touch my dick. One girl groped me the last time I went, thus I'm encouraged.
So soon after I got there the fourth girl, ****a, asked me if I wanted to get a dance from her. She's really hot: nice-sized boobs that are real, let's me see the cooch once in a while. I had no complaints. So we went downstairs where, luckily for me, *****y was finishing up with another fat guy customer as we were starting. And just like that, my dick got hard. Come on, two girls!
But I had to play it cool. I needed to make sure that this guy didn't see as he went back upstairs. Then, even though this was not part of my plan, only fortuitousness, I told ****a that it was just my luck *****y was down there because now I could just ask her down there for a dance after I got done with ****a. No worries, ****a said -- she just asked *****y to not follow the guy he gave a lap dance to upstairs and instead wait around for me.
Then, I was wondering what to do with my erection. Neither of these girls have seen it before, and if neither of them liked me taking it out (or, worse, both of them didn't like it), I would be facing a 2-on-1 down there, by myself, with no one being able to hear me. Well, some of the guys upstairs would be able to hear me, and then they'd probably do what they'd order them to do, which is kick my ass. So I wasn't going to just take it out right in front of them. Hopefully there'd be an easier way of doing that, such as them taking it out for me.
Instead, surprising me, it kind of slipped out on its own. I always wear my porno pants to house parties like these, and I always make sure the fly's open so I have easy access. It rarely ever comes out anymore, mostly because my penis isn't hard enough at these places to have enough strength to slip through the hole. But seeing two gorgeous women around me made me salute.
I felt the wind from ****a's gyrations on my dick; that's when I thought something was, uh, "wrong." Then, the only light in the basement cast a light on the left side of my pee-pee. *****y may or may not have spotted it, but ****a was lying across my legs, left to right, so she didn't see it. I was at a crossroads: Tuck myself back in, or take it out. I decided to be conservative and reholstered myself. I don't know if I could offend two people at once.
I still don't know if ****a got a look, but, being the pervert that I am, I hope she did and didn't mind. Later in the night she left the party. She had been complaining about all the smoke inside the house triggering her asthma, but when I said something like, "Do you need a ride home?" (see, I'm always a pervert) she snapped at me. Maybe she did see it.
---
It was ****a who made her way upstairs after our hot dance, leaving the entire basement to me and *****y. This place is rarely empty; there are usually several guys there, and they do pay the money to get dances from the strippers that work. Having a very rare 1-on-1, I was less concerned about *****y seeing my hard cock.
And you know, maybe it was the way I was lying on the bed or something, but OMG, it popped out again! And this time *****y did see it. She was about to sit on top of me I think when she saw my hard-on. "Wow, it's got a mind of its own!" to which I replied ... something. I hope it was funny, but I don't remember if I was able to stammer out anything at all.
*****y always has a poker face. Hell, I don't even consider her one of the nicer dancers at My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Version), plus she has an overrated face. But she's got one of the nicest bodies there. She upgraded her tits, which I was able to feel (you can tell they're fake, but they're spectacular nevertheless). She didn't seem to care, and it didn't look like she told ********a that it came out. However, later in the party, we sat at opposite ends of the couch talking to another guy that was hanging out there. I was kind of slapping her in such a way to get her attention, you know, because I wanted to interject into the conversation, when this other guy kept talking. Well, as I was waiting for this other guy to finish, *****y saw my hand, slapped it away and got up from the couch. Okaaaaaaaaay.
I'm going to get a dance from her at the stripclub, just as a peace offering.
---
*****e was next. I thought she was going to be the prize of the party, so as soon as I saw she was free, I asked that we go downstairs. As much as I wanted to grab her real but small tits, it was her rocking abs that I wanted to touch more. She's walking sex, y'all. And she was wearing a Vikings bikini, the front of the top of which she pulled down to reveal her breasts.
It was hard, but it did not come out. Good thing, because there was someone else right there.
---
********a was last. As she was the last time, she was drunk as fuck. Last party I bit into her humongous breasts so hard she recoiled in horror. I made sure to respect her request never to do that again. Anything else, however, is in play, in my opinion.
It did not get hard. ********a's really smart, and she's really nice. But she's, at best, buxom, and beyond rubbing her tits over my pants, I don't get hard when she's on top of me. This time, however, I did get a semi. And after we were done, she did see that semi and groped it. Ding-ding-ding!!! We were alone, and my back was towards the staircase, so I said, "Hey, you want to touch it for real?" and I whipped it out! To which she said, "No, not here!!!" and I playfully tucked myself back in.
********a was not mad after I did that. How do I know that? Because she invited me to her next party. Which is tonight. And although *****y isn't there (boy, she must really be mad at me), ****a and *****e will be. I think it's time I whipped it out on them -- hopefully alone. Best of all, ****e* will be there instead. Not only do I need her number, which I lost when my cellphone got all jacked up, but we've been talking for some time for extras. This would be a great occasion to arrange that -- or to actually get that. Wish me luck!
Thursday, November 21, 2013
The Thing That's Been Taking Up All My Time Lately ...
... is my parents' trip. They are preparing a multi-week cruise over the holidays to Europe which includes seeing my sister and brother-in-law. And of course, since they are not familiar with the continent (Mother went there with my sister a long time ago; Father has never been), they need my help doing the research -- what attractions they should see, what hotels are close to those attractions, maps that get them from public transportation to their hotel, how feasible is renting a car, etc.
I want to help. But I've been helping them for the better part of three weeks, if not a month, and there is a whole lot of shit I should be doing instead. So most of my nights are spent getting on Father's computer (which was repaired by my brother because My Father downloaded a virus but is now running slower, if not worse), waiting for all the information to come up, trying to figure out train timetables and which links will get me to the information I need. I then tell that to my parents, who then ask more questions that totally dismiss all the work I put in up to that point and are impossible to answer. After one, two hours I'm pooped by all the work I had to expend for them, and I therefore have no time to devote to my work; I just either take a shower, watch TV, or go to bed. Seriously, I'm more tired after doing this for my parents than I am at work.
I want to help, and I certainly don't want them flying blind over in Europe. They have two barriers of language there: They can get by with the English they've learned while living there, but having them jump to countries where, even though they speak it fluently, they speak English with an accent that I think will make it impossible for them to understand any stranger they ask directions or tips from. Add to that trying to navigate them to their hotel in an unfamiliar place from a computer across the pond, and not only is not being able to be there with them is a source of pressure, doing this work for them while not knowing for myself whether this map or this attraction is any good sometimes makes me wonder if I'm just wasting my time or, worse, leading them into danger.
They need my help not only because of their relative computer illiteracy but also because they think I know Europe more than they do. I do, but the last time I was there was after I graduated from college 15 years ago. My sister could do a better job, but she's over the Atlantic and she's busy. So it's up to me. And even after doing and doing for them to the point of exhaustion, I don't think that's enough. And so, not only have I grown resentful of them (I'm spending a lot more time working on my computer at coffeehouses before coming home and facing their requests -- like I'm doing right now), I've just been too tired and so I've allowed stuff to pile up, like writing and my duties with the club.
My only respite is that it'll be over soon, my probably inadequate work for them notwithstanding.
I want to help. But I've been helping them for the better part of three weeks, if not a month, and there is a whole lot of shit I should be doing instead. So most of my nights are spent getting on Father's computer (which was repaired by my brother because My Father downloaded a virus but is now running slower, if not worse), waiting for all the information to come up, trying to figure out train timetables and which links will get me to the information I need. I then tell that to my parents, who then ask more questions that totally dismiss all the work I put in up to that point and are impossible to answer. After one, two hours I'm pooped by all the work I had to expend for them, and I therefore have no time to devote to my work; I just either take a shower, watch TV, or go to bed. Seriously, I'm more tired after doing this for my parents than I am at work.
I want to help, and I certainly don't want them flying blind over in Europe. They have two barriers of language there: They can get by with the English they've learned while living there, but having them jump to countries where, even though they speak it fluently, they speak English with an accent that I think will make it impossible for them to understand any stranger they ask directions or tips from. Add to that trying to navigate them to their hotel in an unfamiliar place from a computer across the pond, and not only is not being able to be there with them is a source of pressure, doing this work for them while not knowing for myself whether this map or this attraction is any good sometimes makes me wonder if I'm just wasting my time or, worse, leading them into danger.
They need my help not only because of their relative computer illiteracy but also because they think I know Europe more than they do. I do, but the last time I was there was after I graduated from college 15 years ago. My sister could do a better job, but she's over the Atlantic and she's busy. So it's up to me. And even after doing and doing for them to the point of exhaustion, I don't think that's enough. And so, not only have I grown resentful of them (I'm spending a lot more time working on my computer at coffeehouses before coming home and facing their requests -- like I'm doing right now), I've just been too tired and so I've allowed stuff to pile up, like writing and my duties with the club.
My only respite is that it'll be over soon, my probably inadequate work for them notwithstanding.
Oh, Wow, Tuesday Was Such A Bad Day
It started when I got to my desk Tuesday morning. There are eight of us. Well, there were eight of us; when I came in one of them, the newest of us, was not there. A short time later our supervisor called our attention and said that he was ... well, fired because he didn't make production.
That sucks. That makes him the fifth consecutive person who either got cut or left this project. But even though we didn't talk much, like the guy working next to me said, he seemed to be a pretty solid dude. I don't know his numbers, but he wasn't incessantly asking questions, therefore he didn't appear to be struggling. Best of all for me, he was quiet. That's why I liked having him around. But I guess he just didn't do enough.
And that suddenness, that jolt out of complacency that I did not think this company did, is what worries me most of all. After announcing the removal of this poor kid, my boss reiterated the need to hit 300. That immediately set off my friend next to me. He did what the rest of us didn't have the balls to do: He openly questioned this constant pounding of 300 into the backs of our minds. His body language sometimes reveal that he's struggles to reach that, yet he seems to clear 300 with no trouble. Whether any of his claims are good enough not to recheck, well, that's another story. But if what my supervisor said is any indication, we all feel the pressure to just get to 300, and if that means cutting corners or doing shitty work, well, if it saves him from losing his job, I understand why he would do it.
---
That meeting set off this tension that hasn't really abated. Adding to that is the workload, namely the lack of it. Even though this guy apparently didn't reach 300, it looked like the rest of us did. By doing so we have been going through packet after packet with some speed. So much so, in fact, that the annoying, mousy girl who asks questions (though to her credit she has asked far fewer questions this week, even though that may be because she's either realized she's being annoying when she asks us questions or she's just as freaked out about not reaching the goal and thinks it's faster just to plow ahead, mistakes be damned) turned to me later this day to ask me how many boxes are left.
You know, I don't know, I told her. And that is a very good question.
My boss convened a meeting a few weeks ago saying that the projected end date for data entry of this project was the end of the year. That is much different than last year, when all the temps were done by Thanksgiving. (Me and this other guy stuck around two or three more weeks.) But this mousy girl and I, along with this nice but loud and talkative dude surmised we had, at most, a dozen boxes left. Later, the girl who's put together said that all remaining packets left to be done were moved from a big records room to the smaller supply room. Oh, she also said she was scared.
Me too. I should never have taken that end-of-year drop-dead date as gospel. I understood that we all had to shift towards punching these consent forms in because they were getting old, and at some point, I think it's 30 days, insurance companies don't have to pay for shots taken so long ago. What I failed to remember from last year is that the clinics where flu shots are given drop off rapidly around mid-October, which is where we are now. We did not have to catch up because the packets were piling up; we had to catch up because the packets we did have were getting old. And it looks like that as soon as we're caught up, we're done.
Or they're done. Or maybe we're all done. Man, all this uncertainty about people being let go and what work is left to do is making me fucking nervous. We're temps, after all; no matter what promises are made, they could fire me for not reaching production, or they could cut all of us after our lunch Friday. I want to trust these guys, but at the end of the day, I have to look out for myself. And that's why I'm kicking myself into lulling myself into this seemingly false belief that me and every one of us we'll be OK until the New Year. Logic dictates that that can't happen. The number of boxes we have left indicate we all should be done -- well, by around Thanksgiving, around the same time as the temps last year.
Man, that would suck if I lost my job a month earlier than I thought I would.
---
After work I texted *e**, the host of Monday's party. She has yet to text me back. In fact, I have not had any contact from her since the party. That's not unusual, however I ... you know, I promised I'll blog about it, and I will, so I'll refrain from talking about it here. Let's just say that I think I made her mad after our dance and, despite my apologies through text and voicemail, she seems to be really upset with me. And that makes me really, really sad.
---
With my parents being gone soon, I started moving on setting up a time for surgery to get this boil off of my ass. But when the person who was helping me started to drill down to the surgery schedule of the guy who put a device up my asshole, things got very complicated.
First of all, there are not two but four visits that comprise this operation, which, by the way, I forgot was going to be a full-fledged surgery, with sedation and a person needing to take you home and all that. I thought there was one pre-operation meeting and then the surgery. Oh, no-no-no-no-no ... there is another consultation because the one I had, which led to the diagnosis of surgery, took place in the summer, and then there's the pre-op, then there's the day of surgery, and finally there's a post-operation follow-up visit to make sure everything's in its right place. That's a lot of days to miss from working a job that's only hourly. Moreover, there is no time convenient to my schedule; all of them fall smack dab in the morning, right when I'm getting into my work day. I don't want and I cannot afford to miss four full days of work. Things are still very, very tight with me.
But I don't know what to do. After thinking about it, my next recourse is to find another surgeon (hopefully within the same hospital system) who can see me in the late afternoon. Now all I have to do is call around. And if there is no one, I have a choice to make: Either take all those days off for the operation or roll the dice and do when I don't have a job, but my parents are home. I have to try to make the best out of a bad situation.
---
The nadir of my night came, as it often does, by a passing comment made by My Fucking Father during dinner. He was packing up the propane ticket they use to cook dinner. While I was eating, and after we had talked for a bit about their cruises, and while he was going outside to retrieve some stuff, My Father noted one task I no longer had to do for them while they were out of town:
"You don't have to go to The Store no more. All done."
I had heard the past couple weeks that they were very close to selling The Store. Despite repeated delays, they were given Tuesday as the day that the contract would be signed and sealed. And I guess it finally came through.
That news broke me inside, but I still had to act like I was interested in eating dinner.
I still don't quite know how to process it. I'll write about it as soon as I can find the words.
---
Finally I had to spend even more time helping my parents when I could have used that time to write, or something. This time it wasn't spent on me printing out maps or e-mails sent from my sister. This time Mother wanted help paying off her credit cards -- and she went through five of them, even though she has so many she needs to keep a goddamn book to keep track of all the different usernames and passwords. I spent two hours helping her through that shit, just because Mother wanted to both pay in advance for things that weren't due until the next billing statement, and to figure out which European trip-related expense was charged to each of the cards.
Sometimes I wish she wasn't so fucking needy.
---
When she got done I was so tired I wanted to immediately go to bed. But then I had to upload some pictures to Facebook. I did that, but what should have been a 20-minute task took about two fucking hours because our fucking DSL wi-fi was not working this night, just like it hadn't the previous two or three. I know, I know, #firstworldproblems, but it's so fucking frustrating when something you rely on heavily, and something that is for the most part reliable, doesn't work for days. It's barely working as I type this.
---
No wonder why I hit the hay by 10. I needed to forget Tuesday.
That sucks. That makes him the fifth consecutive person who either got cut or left this project. But even though we didn't talk much, like the guy working next to me said, he seemed to be a pretty solid dude. I don't know his numbers, but he wasn't incessantly asking questions, therefore he didn't appear to be struggling. Best of all for me, he was quiet. That's why I liked having him around. But I guess he just didn't do enough.
And that suddenness, that jolt out of complacency that I did not think this company did, is what worries me most of all. After announcing the removal of this poor kid, my boss reiterated the need to hit 300. That immediately set off my friend next to me. He did what the rest of us didn't have the balls to do: He openly questioned this constant pounding of 300 into the backs of our minds. His body language sometimes reveal that he's struggles to reach that, yet he seems to clear 300 with no trouble. Whether any of his claims are good enough not to recheck, well, that's another story. But if what my supervisor said is any indication, we all feel the pressure to just get to 300, and if that means cutting corners or doing shitty work, well, if it saves him from losing his job, I understand why he would do it.
---
That meeting set off this tension that hasn't really abated. Adding to that is the workload, namely the lack of it. Even though this guy apparently didn't reach 300, it looked like the rest of us did. By doing so we have been going through packet after packet with some speed. So much so, in fact, that the annoying, mousy girl who asks questions (though to her credit she has asked far fewer questions this week, even though that may be because she's either realized she's being annoying when she asks us questions or she's just as freaked out about not reaching the goal and thinks it's faster just to plow ahead, mistakes be damned) turned to me later this day to ask me how many boxes are left.
You know, I don't know, I told her. And that is a very good question.
My boss convened a meeting a few weeks ago saying that the projected end date for data entry of this project was the end of the year. That is much different than last year, when all the temps were done by Thanksgiving. (Me and this other guy stuck around two or three more weeks.) But this mousy girl and I, along with this nice but loud and talkative dude surmised we had, at most, a dozen boxes left. Later, the girl who's put together said that all remaining packets left to be done were moved from a big records room to the smaller supply room. Oh, she also said she was scared.
Me too. I should never have taken that end-of-year drop-dead date as gospel. I understood that we all had to shift towards punching these consent forms in because they were getting old, and at some point, I think it's 30 days, insurance companies don't have to pay for shots taken so long ago. What I failed to remember from last year is that the clinics where flu shots are given drop off rapidly around mid-October, which is where we are now. We did not have to catch up because the packets were piling up; we had to catch up because the packets we did have were getting old. And it looks like that as soon as we're caught up, we're done.
Or they're done. Or maybe we're all done. Man, all this uncertainty about people being let go and what work is left to do is making me fucking nervous. We're temps, after all; no matter what promises are made, they could fire me for not reaching production, or they could cut all of us after our lunch Friday. I want to trust these guys, but at the end of the day, I have to look out for myself. And that's why I'm kicking myself into lulling myself into this seemingly false belief that me and every one of us we'll be OK until the New Year. Logic dictates that that can't happen. The number of boxes we have left indicate we all should be done -- well, by around Thanksgiving, around the same time as the temps last year.
Man, that would suck if I lost my job a month earlier than I thought I would.
---
After work I texted *e**, the host of Monday's party. She has yet to text me back. In fact, I have not had any contact from her since the party. That's not unusual, however I ... you know, I promised I'll blog about it, and I will, so I'll refrain from talking about it here. Let's just say that I think I made her mad after our dance and, despite my apologies through text and voicemail, she seems to be really upset with me. And that makes me really, really sad.
---
With my parents being gone soon, I started moving on setting up a time for surgery to get this boil off of my ass. But when the person who was helping me started to drill down to the surgery schedule of the guy who put a device up my asshole, things got very complicated.
First of all, there are not two but four visits that comprise this operation, which, by the way, I forgot was going to be a full-fledged surgery, with sedation and a person needing to take you home and all that. I thought there was one pre-operation meeting and then the surgery. Oh, no-no-no-no-no ... there is another consultation because the one I had, which led to the diagnosis of surgery, took place in the summer, and then there's the pre-op, then there's the day of surgery, and finally there's a post-operation follow-up visit to make sure everything's in its right place. That's a lot of days to miss from working a job that's only hourly. Moreover, there is no time convenient to my schedule; all of them fall smack dab in the morning, right when I'm getting into my work day. I don't want and I cannot afford to miss four full days of work. Things are still very, very tight with me.
But I don't know what to do. After thinking about it, my next recourse is to find another surgeon (hopefully within the same hospital system) who can see me in the late afternoon. Now all I have to do is call around. And if there is no one, I have a choice to make: Either take all those days off for the operation or roll the dice and do when I don't have a job, but my parents are home. I have to try to make the best out of a bad situation.
---
The nadir of my night came, as it often does, by a passing comment made by My Fucking Father during dinner. He was packing up the propane ticket they use to cook dinner. While I was eating, and after we had talked for a bit about their cruises, and while he was going outside to retrieve some stuff, My Father noted one task I no longer had to do for them while they were out of town:
"You don't have to go to The Store no more. All done."
I had heard the past couple weeks that they were very close to selling The Store. Despite repeated delays, they were given Tuesday as the day that the contract would be signed and sealed. And I guess it finally came through.
That news broke me inside, but I still had to act like I was interested in eating dinner.
I still don't quite know how to process it. I'll write about it as soon as I can find the words.
---
Finally I had to spend even more time helping my parents when I could have used that time to write, or something. This time it wasn't spent on me printing out maps or e-mails sent from my sister. This time Mother wanted help paying off her credit cards -- and she went through five of them, even though she has so many she needs to keep a goddamn book to keep track of all the different usernames and passwords. I spent two hours helping her through that shit, just because Mother wanted to both pay in advance for things that weren't due until the next billing statement, and to figure out which European trip-related expense was charged to each of the cards.
Sometimes I wish she wasn't so fucking needy.
---
When she got done I was so tired I wanted to immediately go to bed. But then I had to upload some pictures to Facebook. I did that, but what should have been a 20-minute task took about two fucking hours because our fucking DSL wi-fi was not working this night, just like it hadn't the previous two or three. I know, I know, #firstworldproblems, but it's so fucking frustrating when something you rely on heavily, and something that is for the most part reliable, doesn't work for days. It's barely working as I type this.
---
No wonder why I hit the hay by 10. I needed to forget Tuesday.
Wednesday, November 20, 2013
No, I Don't Have A Porn Problem
Yesterday, after battling through a bad, long day (I'll blog about it next) I logged onto VEF. I knew it had been some time since I've been on there, and it was: Almost 13 days.
It's been off-and-on like that for the past few months, ever since I started this billing job. Haven't had time to go on there, so whenever I finally have the time and urge and I remind myself, "Hey, haven't been on VEF in a while!" I'm shocked that's been ten days, two weeks since I've been on there.
Therefore, to me, I don't have a porn problem. If I were an addict, I'd take every waking chance I could to find it and jerk off to it. Right now, though, I have so many things on my plate that masturbation is the furthest thing from my mind. No, that's a lie: It's one of the furthest things on my mind.
Shit, when I hit the towel to rub one out after going on VEF I also didn't remember the last time I did that. See, I'm totally not addicted to porn!
It's been off-and-on like that for the past few months, ever since I started this billing job. Haven't had time to go on there, so whenever I finally have the time and urge and I remind myself, "Hey, haven't been on VEF in a while!" I'm shocked that's been ten days, two weeks since I've been on there.
Therefore, to me, I don't have a porn problem. If I were an addict, I'd take every waking chance I could to find it and jerk off to it. Right now, though, I have so many things on my plate that masturbation is the furthest thing from my mind. No, that's a lie: It's one of the furthest things on my mind.
Shit, when I hit the towel to rub one out after going on VEF I also didn't remember the last time I did that. See, I'm totally not addicted to porn!
Tuesday, November 19, 2013
The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey
(First, let me say a little something about the University of Minnesota women's hockey team, a program that will not be regularly ranked here in the survey by virtue of it winning last year's NCAA championship but saw their NCAA-record winning streak of 62 games [which lasted into this, its third, year] end yesterday afternoon, 3-2, to North Dakota: It had to end some time, and for a while now I've thought that, as impressive as this record is -- the fact that it took so long makes it likely, though not impossible, that it will never be broken -- it could become a millstone around this team's neck. Come on, now; it's championships that matter, not winning streaks. The players who had a hand in this, which includes back-to-back titles, have already sent their message: This Minnesota squad may be the best top-flight women's college hockey team we may ever see. Like Cal Ripken Jr.'s consecutive games played record, however, The Streak may turn into The Burden, and I certainly don't want these young women to feel any undue stress of being The Team That Loses The Streak and then lose out on the NCAA championship to boot.
Saying that: Did they have to lose at home? I know it was to the team that retains its #4 ranking, and the Golden Gophers are still #1 in the USCHO.com poll. But I can't help but be ... ashamed that they lost The Streak at Ridder. Do it at North Dakota, or Wisconsin, or Cornell; losing on the road to a good team determined to be the ones to end The Streak is totally understandable. To see that die at home ... well, I know Gopher faithful stood up to applaud its end, but I would rather not do that. To me this is ... hate to say it, but it's very disappointing.)
Positive Numbers: Wild (Last Week: -4). It does help that all of them were at home. They were all one-goal affairs, and they did have to beat Toronto in a shootout. Nevertheless, the Minnesota North Stars v.2.0 went 3-0 to reach 30 points only 21 games into the season. They'll need to keep up: They would lead the Eastern Conference but is only fifth in the West (though in second place behind Chicago).
The big revelation this week is the sterling play of backup Goaltender Josh Harding, who substituted for Nicklas Backstrom after he got plowed over in the Maple Leafs game. Harding stopped 64 shots over the three games (including the two in the shootout win over Toronto) and earned the National Hockey League's Third Star for the week. This only fuels more speculation that the Wild might be able to part ways with Backstrom (and give itself a little salary cap relief in the process).
As the past screening week contained an entire homestand, the next screening week comprises the squad's roadtrip: Montreal tonight (Tuesday), Ottawa Wednesday, Winnipeg (who they beat 2-1 in front of a sizable pro-Jet crowd -- and remember, at the X) Saturday, and St. Louis Monday.
#0: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -1). I missed the deadline last week, so I had to take in the win over Montana then because I failed to finish last week's WMNSS before that game was over. I'll be able to get back on track this week, which contains only one win, over Richmond. But that it was a road game, against a not-too bad mid-major program, and they beat them by 15, makes me think that this is a statement that this team will not need to bottom out as they begin a new coaching regime under Richard Pitino. While they lost a sizable amount of minutes and talent, namely Trevor Mbakwe and Rodney Williams, the veterans on this team, notably Andre and Austin Hollins, are responding to Pitino's up-tempo, fast-break style. If this keeps up, this might prove to be a case where a coaching change was the only thing that was needed. Maybe Tubby Smith was able to recruit great players, but it was Pitino who in fact was able to bring out the best in them. We'll see how this team fares in home games versus Coastal Carolina tonight and Wofford Thursday before they head off to the Maui Invitational and face quarterfinal opponent Syracuse Monday.
#-1: Gopher men's hockey (Three Weeks Ago: -1). Oh, shit, you've got to be kidding me. I forgot to put them in last week's survey even though they played, and in two very important games in Notre Dame, the first of which counts as the team's first official loss of the season. (I count their October 25 game at home against Boston College, which goes down as a 3-all tie, as a loss because it was "decided" in a shootout.) I totally missed that Fighting Irish series because it kind of got lost in the shuffle amid all the other teams in the WMNSS I have to account for this time of year. That oversight was compounded, however, because the week prior to that was their bye week. I shouldn't have put them in two weeks ago, but this is a case where not seeing them in that survey led me to leave them out again. So it's been three long damn weeks since they were here.
I can't turn back time, so I can only account for all the games they played since they were last in. So that's the win and loss to Notre Dame plus their combined 7-1 sweep of in-state little runt Minnesota State-Mankato. 3-1 isn't bad. In fact, it's good enough for the team to retain its #1 ranking in the USCHO.com Top 20, alongside the Gopher women. That meant I had enough justification to keep them at the same rank they were the last time they were on the WMNSS. Sure, that also meant I had to artificially inflate the rank of the Gopher men's basketball team, and thus the Wild above them. But it's only right.
They are in the middle pair of a six-game homestand this weekend, when they face former conference rival (and less in-state little runt compared to MSU-Mankato) Minnesota-Duluth Friday and Sunday.
#-2: Timberwolves (Last Week: -5). This week they held home court in beating imploding Cleveland (this is an interesting case, the Cavaliers) and tanking Boston. Those wins buttress a 117-113 loss in Denver. That defeat was on the road, and even though the Nuggets are a backsliding team, they almost won and they played at high altitude, so I'm not too worried. In fact, three of their four losses so far this season were by four points or less. That has to be a testament to their competitiveness. Also, no big injuries so far. Fingers crossed.
Busy week with five games: at Washington and home to the Clippers back-to-back; hosting Brooklyn and visiting Houston back-to-back; then they go to Indiana.
#-3: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -2). You see, we're probably going to go through this .500, good at home/bad on the road thing fucking again. They follow up a 25-point clobbering of Charlotte at Williams Arena with a non-competitive-seeming 63-52 loss at Creighton, its first of the year. The story's gotten old, and I have no afterword for it.
As most big schools do, this program has loaded up its non-con schedule with home games. They have the first two of a three-game homestand this week: Tomorrow (Wednesday) in an intriguing matchup against Kansas, then Sunday afternoon vs. Navy.
#-4: Vikings (Last Week: -3). I caught some of the first half of the game at the MOA Hooters. Once that asshole Percy Harvin returned that kickoff to midfield and Seattle was able to punch it into the endzone just before halftime to make it a ten-point game, I figured I could go to my car and not hear about the rest of the game. Turns out I was right, although by the score they let things get away from them in the second half.
Before that bad omen before the end of the half the ViQueens, and Christian Ponder, seemed to be holding their own against the Seahawks. I thought there was a decent chance they could at least cover the spread. But, apparently, Ponder threw back-to-back picks that he quickly was given total blame for, and Seattle ran up 41 points for the game. And now Ponder, apparently, has put the nail in his own coffin, if he was given a nail gun before the cover closed on him.
Not to say that I believe he's going to be a Hall of Fame Quarterback, or even if he's the answer to the Vikes' woes. But the hating on Ponder is overblown. First of all, this is Seattle, and the club was playing in Seattle. They're a good team; more of a fact that Ponder sucks as QB is the fact that Seattle is miles better talent-wise than Minnesota. A pounding should not be a surprise. To me, people are acting like Ponder was supposed to win them the game; in reality it sounds like all facets of the team (though the offensive line was absolute shit the whole game) are to blame. Moreover, Head Coach Leslie Frazier benched Ponder for Matt Cassel, and he promptly threw an interception. I guess he could throw the keys to Josh Freeman again, but if the gossip is to be believed, the coaching staff is so unimpressed of how he's practicing that they know he'll just do a repeat flop of his New York Giants performance.
Meanwhile, don't believe next Sunday's game in Green Bay is a foregone conclusion. They are a carcass of what they once were since Aaron Rodgers got injured. They lost to the Giants -- sure, they're different from the winless team that busted their slump against the ViQueens, but no one's saying Big Blue is an elite team. I really think that a mobile QB that can improvise while scrambling could give the Packers a lot of problems. Freeman can't be that guy because his throws sail into the upper deck, and Cassel is a fucking statue back there. Like it or not, Ponder could be a weapon in this game. On the other hand, while Scott Tolzien has been throwing for a very good amount of yards since he stepped in a week ago for Rodgers's back-up, Seneca Wallace, he has been very susceptible to throwing picks. This might be a game where the much-maligned defense rises up and gets an interception or two. Unfortunately, if I correctly read between the lines from Frazier's Monday afternoon press conference, Ponder can't be used because they've thrown him under the bus. They might rue that overreaction.
#-5: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -8). Swept Ohio St. at home; was swept by Penn St. at home. A maddening concretizing (I know that's not a word, just bear with me) -- of where this program is and has been for years now. Volleyball aficionados probably know that the University of Minnesota can be penned into getting to the Sweet Sixteen every NCAA Tournament. Conversely, they also know that there's no chance in hell they'd win the championship. They are seemingly permanently very good and never excellent. Penn St. is excellent. Nebraska, despite some hiccups, is excellent, Minnesota will always show up, get third or fourth place in the Big Ten, win with relative ease in the first two rounds of the tourney, then lose. These results scream where this squad's place is. And it's getting to be stultifying. They travel to the Michigan schools this weekend.
#-Infinity: Gopher soccer (Last Week: -6). Welp, they get bounced in the first round at Texas Tech, 3-nil. Jessica Fuston scored the game-winner; Janine Beckie score the insurance and putaway goals. Not a crime to go one-and-done in the NCAA Tournament; after all, 32 teams had to do it, among them national seeds Marquette, Central Florida and Denver. What is disturbing, however, is that this club finished their season with three straight blowout losses: 3-1 to Illinois in the regular season finale; 4-1 to Nebraska in the first round of the Big Ten Conference tournament; and now to the Red Raiders. Did the team just run out of gas? Or did dissension within the ranks finally boil over at the worst possible time? Guess we'll see next year. I'll be there; the program ain't too shabby and I like the atmosphere of Elizabeth Lyle Robbie Stadium, even though the public address announcer is kind of annoying, and I hate how he plays "Sweet Caroline" every fucking halftime.
Positive Numbers: Wild (Last Week: -4). It does help that all of them were at home. They were all one-goal affairs, and they did have to beat Toronto in a shootout. Nevertheless, the Minnesota North Stars v.2.0 went 3-0 to reach 30 points only 21 games into the season. They'll need to keep up: They would lead the Eastern Conference but is only fifth in the West (though in second place behind Chicago).
The big revelation this week is the sterling play of backup Goaltender Josh Harding, who substituted for Nicklas Backstrom after he got plowed over in the Maple Leafs game. Harding stopped 64 shots over the three games (including the two in the shootout win over Toronto) and earned the National Hockey League's Third Star for the week. This only fuels more speculation that the Wild might be able to part ways with Backstrom (and give itself a little salary cap relief in the process).
As the past screening week contained an entire homestand, the next screening week comprises the squad's roadtrip: Montreal tonight (Tuesday), Ottawa Wednesday, Winnipeg (who they beat 2-1 in front of a sizable pro-Jet crowd -- and remember, at the X) Saturday, and St. Louis Monday.
#0: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -1). I missed the deadline last week, so I had to take in the win over Montana then because I failed to finish last week's WMNSS before that game was over. I'll be able to get back on track this week, which contains only one win, over Richmond. But that it was a road game, against a not-too bad mid-major program, and they beat them by 15, makes me think that this is a statement that this team will not need to bottom out as they begin a new coaching regime under Richard Pitino. While they lost a sizable amount of minutes and talent, namely Trevor Mbakwe and Rodney Williams, the veterans on this team, notably Andre and Austin Hollins, are responding to Pitino's up-tempo, fast-break style. If this keeps up, this might prove to be a case where a coaching change was the only thing that was needed. Maybe Tubby Smith was able to recruit great players, but it was Pitino who in fact was able to bring out the best in them. We'll see how this team fares in home games versus Coastal Carolina tonight and Wofford Thursday before they head off to the Maui Invitational and face quarterfinal opponent Syracuse Monday.
#-1: Gopher men's hockey (Three Weeks Ago: -1). Oh, shit, you've got to be kidding me. I forgot to put them in last week's survey even though they played, and in two very important games in Notre Dame, the first of which counts as the team's first official loss of the season. (I count their October 25 game at home against Boston College, which goes down as a 3-all tie, as a loss because it was "decided" in a shootout.) I totally missed that Fighting Irish series because it kind of got lost in the shuffle amid all the other teams in the WMNSS I have to account for this time of year. That oversight was compounded, however, because the week prior to that was their bye week. I shouldn't have put them in two weeks ago, but this is a case where not seeing them in that survey led me to leave them out again. So it's been three long damn weeks since they were here.
I can't turn back time, so I can only account for all the games they played since they were last in. So that's the win and loss to Notre Dame plus their combined 7-1 sweep of in-state little runt Minnesota State-Mankato. 3-1 isn't bad. In fact, it's good enough for the team to retain its #1 ranking in the USCHO.com Top 20, alongside the Gopher women. That meant I had enough justification to keep them at the same rank they were the last time they were on the WMNSS. Sure, that also meant I had to artificially inflate the rank of the Gopher men's basketball team, and thus the Wild above them. But it's only right.
They are in the middle pair of a six-game homestand this weekend, when they face former conference rival (and less in-state little runt compared to MSU-Mankato) Minnesota-Duluth Friday and Sunday.
#-2: Timberwolves (Last Week: -5). This week they held home court in beating imploding Cleveland (this is an interesting case, the Cavaliers) and tanking Boston. Those wins buttress a 117-113 loss in Denver. That defeat was on the road, and even though the Nuggets are a backsliding team, they almost won and they played at high altitude, so I'm not too worried. In fact, three of their four losses so far this season were by four points or less. That has to be a testament to their competitiveness. Also, no big injuries so far. Fingers crossed.
Busy week with five games: at Washington and home to the Clippers back-to-back; hosting Brooklyn and visiting Houston back-to-back; then they go to Indiana.
#-3: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -2). You see, we're probably going to go through this .500, good at home/bad on the road thing fucking again. They follow up a 25-point clobbering of Charlotte at Williams Arena with a non-competitive-seeming 63-52 loss at Creighton, its first of the year. The story's gotten old, and I have no afterword for it.
As most big schools do, this program has loaded up its non-con schedule with home games. They have the first two of a three-game homestand this week: Tomorrow (Wednesday) in an intriguing matchup against Kansas, then Sunday afternoon vs. Navy.
#-4: Vikings (Last Week: -3). I caught some of the first half of the game at the MOA Hooters. Once that asshole Percy Harvin returned that kickoff to midfield and Seattle was able to punch it into the endzone just before halftime to make it a ten-point game, I figured I could go to my car and not hear about the rest of the game. Turns out I was right, although by the score they let things get away from them in the second half.
Before that bad omen before the end of the half the ViQueens, and Christian Ponder, seemed to be holding their own against the Seahawks. I thought there was a decent chance they could at least cover the spread. But, apparently, Ponder threw back-to-back picks that he quickly was given total blame for, and Seattle ran up 41 points for the game. And now Ponder, apparently, has put the nail in his own coffin, if he was given a nail gun before the cover closed on him.
Not to say that I believe he's going to be a Hall of Fame Quarterback, or even if he's the answer to the Vikes' woes. But the hating on Ponder is overblown. First of all, this is Seattle, and the club was playing in Seattle. They're a good team; more of a fact that Ponder sucks as QB is the fact that Seattle is miles better talent-wise than Minnesota. A pounding should not be a surprise. To me, people are acting like Ponder was supposed to win them the game; in reality it sounds like all facets of the team (though the offensive line was absolute shit the whole game) are to blame. Moreover, Head Coach Leslie Frazier benched Ponder for Matt Cassel, and he promptly threw an interception. I guess he could throw the keys to Josh Freeman again, but if the gossip is to be believed, the coaching staff is so unimpressed of how he's practicing that they know he'll just do a repeat flop of his New York Giants performance.
Meanwhile, don't believe next Sunday's game in Green Bay is a foregone conclusion. They are a carcass of what they once were since Aaron Rodgers got injured. They lost to the Giants -- sure, they're different from the winless team that busted their slump against the ViQueens, but no one's saying Big Blue is an elite team. I really think that a mobile QB that can improvise while scrambling could give the Packers a lot of problems. Freeman can't be that guy because his throws sail into the upper deck, and Cassel is a fucking statue back there. Like it or not, Ponder could be a weapon in this game. On the other hand, while Scott Tolzien has been throwing for a very good amount of yards since he stepped in a week ago for Rodgers's back-up, Seneca Wallace, he has been very susceptible to throwing picks. This might be a game where the much-maligned defense rises up and gets an interception or two. Unfortunately, if I correctly read between the lines from Frazier's Monday afternoon press conference, Ponder can't be used because they've thrown him under the bus. They might rue that overreaction.
#-5: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -8). Swept Ohio St. at home; was swept by Penn St. at home. A maddening concretizing (I know that's not a word, just bear with me) -- of where this program is and has been for years now. Volleyball aficionados probably know that the University of Minnesota can be penned into getting to the Sweet Sixteen every NCAA Tournament. Conversely, they also know that there's no chance in hell they'd win the championship. They are seemingly permanently very good and never excellent. Penn St. is excellent. Nebraska, despite some hiccups, is excellent, Minnesota will always show up, get third or fourth place in the Big Ten, win with relative ease in the first two rounds of the tourney, then lose. These results scream where this squad's place is. And it's getting to be stultifying. They travel to the Michigan schools this weekend.
#-Infinity: Gopher soccer (Last Week: -6). Welp, they get bounced in the first round at Texas Tech, 3-nil. Jessica Fuston scored the game-winner; Janine Beckie score the insurance and putaway goals. Not a crime to go one-and-done in the NCAA Tournament; after all, 32 teams had to do it, among them national seeds Marquette, Central Florida and Denver. What is disturbing, however, is that this club finished their season with three straight blowout losses: 3-1 to Illinois in the regular season finale; 4-1 to Nebraska in the first round of the Big Ten Conference tournament; and now to the Red Raiders. Did the team just run out of gas? Or did dissension within the ranks finally boil over at the worst possible time? Guess we'll see next year. I'll be there; the program ain't too shabby and I like the atmosphere of Elizabeth Lyle Robbie Stadium, even though the public address announcer is kind of annoying, and I hate how he plays "Sweet Caroline" every fucking halftime.
Monday, November 18, 2013
The Longevity Of The Batteries In My Mouse
I have thought from time to time about marveling here on Wailing And Failing over how long the batteries in my mouse last. They last a long time, and I had thought that wouldn't be the case because I not only use my lap so often but I turn it on and off all the time (I use a wireless mouse which uses a thumb to connect to the lap; I think that takes up a lot of energy, or at least I thought it did). Moreover I have used some of the old batteries I lay on top of my desk for the mouse because I can't bear to throw the batteries away until I'm absolutely sure they're out of juice. (I should get a battery tester, although I have a very old Duracell package that had that vertical meter, you know, and you put your battery right in it and press down on both ends of the battery to see how much it has left.) Those old batteries, however, once I get through the ones that immediately make my mouse meter blink red (meaning it's about to run out of energy), last a long, long time.
That includes this one. I finally write this blog post because I looked at the mouse after booting up my computer and it's finally, finally, running out of juice. I don't remember when I grabbed this old battery to put it in there; that's how long it's lasted. Instead of feeling sad about the "death" of this battery and the admittedly insubstantial stress of finding a replacement, I want to commemorate how much life this battery has given to help me operate this laptop despite it not having enough to power some other electronic appliance. RIP, good soldier.
That includes this one. I finally write this blog post because I looked at the mouse after booting up my computer and it's finally, finally, running out of juice. I don't remember when I grabbed this old battery to put it in there; that's how long it's lasted. Instead of feeling sad about the "death" of this battery and the admittedly insubstantial stress of finding a replacement, I want to commemorate how much life this battery has given to help me operate this laptop despite it not having enough to power some other electronic appliance. RIP, good soldier.
Sunday, November 17, 2013
Addendum To: Addendum To: Back To The Grind
Had to check how I did all five days at end of day Friday. I averaged 325. Wow. And I didn't even break a sweat, like I did at the beginning the project. I was able to take a sip of coffee, eat a banana, even get up and walk to the bathroom or break room or just around all five days, and I still managed to make production. OK, so there's no doubt at all that I should be able to stay. Or maybe the doubt isn't with them, but with me.
I did fail to get to 300 Tuesday, but I got past that (and, once again, I did it without putting pressure on my myself) the last three days, as well as Monday. That gave me the best of both worlds: They'll know that Tuesday was just an aberration and therefore won't question me, which allowed me to take it be very lazy that day.
Now that I've re-burnished my fundamentals, I get to do what I really want to do, right? No. More putting in consent forms, possibly for an entire second week. Yay.
I did fail to get to 300 Tuesday, but I got past that (and, once again, I did it without putting pressure on my myself) the last three days, as well as Monday. That gave me the best of both worlds: They'll know that Tuesday was just an aberration and therefore won't question me, which allowed me to take it be very lazy that day.
Now that I've re-burnished my fundamentals, I get to do what I really want to do, right? No. More putting in consent forms, possibly for an entire second week. Yay.
NFL Anti-Picks, Week 11
Record, Week 10: 5-3
Overall Record: 27-39
Total Outlay, Week 10: $800.00
Total Winnings, Week 10: $872.11
Gain, Week 10: $72.11
Overall Loss: $990.62
Hmmm ... I kind of felt good about the picks this particular week. It didn't start out well, with two losses in a row, but then I ripped off my five wins. I was on a particular high because I got right St. Louis +9 1/2 (even though none of us could have foreseen a Rams blowout in Indianapolis). That continued when my Triple Best Bet, Denver -7, came through. And I thought I was in for a bounty when I predicted Tampa Bay to both cover and win Straight-Up.
However, I lost $350 on the three bets I lost. Not a huge setback, but I am very miffed that Tennessee lost to Jacksonville because that cost me a $150 parlay. So I could have eaten about 15 or 20 percent off my debt. Instead my profit is relative pennies, and I'm only a hair under a grand in debt.
---
I really don't know where to go from here. If I can find only a few plays, I should push more money into each of them. Might be better that way anyway:
1) New York Jets -1 1/2 (OK, Rob Ryan gets to keep his job. When you can cobble together a team that lost its starting Quarterback before the start of the season and who many people think is crap into one that's bobbing above .500, I think you're a good coach. Buffalo, however, is as bad as I thought they would be at the beginning of the year. I'm wary that this game is being played in Buffalo. However, I am going to Triple Best Bet this) $150
2) Minnesota -12 1/2 (Maybe it's me, but isn't it possible, possible, that regardless of whoever is the Vikings' Quarterback [and it's probably going to be Christian Ponder], they can keep this game within ten points? It's the NFL, so why the hell not? Not going to bet a whole lot on it, though) $50
3) Kansas City +7 1/2 (I'm more and more convinced that the Broncos are only going to squeak past Kansas City. This feels like the game in which Alex Smith's inability to throw the deep ball and possible indecisiviness will prevent K.C. from winning the game. Plus, this game is in Denver, which is very important. However, the Chiefs have a vaunted defense and Peyton Manning has gimpy ankles. Obviously I would like the spread to be bigger, but I am going against the conventional wisdom that Kansas City is going to be exposed in this game. Best Bet this) $100
No parlays. Let's just see how many I get right before I sink parlays because I get one leg wrong. Good luck!
Overall Record: 27-39
Total Outlay, Week 10: $800.00
Total Winnings, Week 10: $872.11
Gain, Week 10: $72.11
Overall Loss: $990.62
Hmmm ... I kind of felt good about the picks this particular week. It didn't start out well, with two losses in a row, but then I ripped off my five wins. I was on a particular high because I got right St. Louis +9 1/2 (even though none of us could have foreseen a Rams blowout in Indianapolis). That continued when my Triple Best Bet, Denver -7, came through. And I thought I was in for a bounty when I predicted Tampa Bay to both cover and win Straight-Up.
However, I lost $350 on the three bets I lost. Not a huge setback, but I am very miffed that Tennessee lost to Jacksonville because that cost me a $150 parlay. So I could have eaten about 15 or 20 percent off my debt. Instead my profit is relative pennies, and I'm only a hair under a grand in debt.
---
I really don't know where to go from here. If I can find only a few plays, I should push more money into each of them. Might be better that way anyway:
1) New York Jets -1 1/2 (OK, Rob Ryan gets to keep his job. When you can cobble together a team that lost its starting Quarterback before the start of the season and who many people think is crap into one that's bobbing above .500, I think you're a good coach. Buffalo, however, is as bad as I thought they would be at the beginning of the year. I'm wary that this game is being played in Buffalo. However, I am going to Triple Best Bet this) $150
2) Minnesota -12 1/2 (Maybe it's me, but isn't it possible, possible, that regardless of whoever is the Vikings' Quarterback [and it's probably going to be Christian Ponder], they can keep this game within ten points? It's the NFL, so why the hell not? Not going to bet a whole lot on it, though) $50
3) Kansas City +7 1/2 (I'm more and more convinced that the Broncos are only going to squeak past Kansas City. This feels like the game in which Alex Smith's inability to throw the deep ball and possible indecisiviness will prevent K.C. from winning the game. Plus, this game is in Denver, which is very important. However, the Chiefs have a vaunted defense and Peyton Manning has gimpy ankles. Obviously I would like the spread to be bigger, but I am going against the conventional wisdom that Kansas City is going to be exposed in this game. Best Bet this) $100
No parlays. Let's just see how many I get right before I sink parlays because I get one leg wrong. Good luck!
Saturday, November 16, 2013
College Football Anti-Picks, Week 12
Record, Week 11: 7-2
Total Record: 38-45-2
Total Outlay, Week 11: $900.00
Total Winnings, Week 11: $1,605.33
Gain, Week 11: $705.33
Overall Loss: $128.77
Whew, I needed that week! Let this be a tip for you, from someone who's unable and unwilling to put his money where his mouth is: In November college football you get teams that are good and are willing to push through the end of the season, and there are teams that are bad and can't wait for the season to end. When one of each meet, in my observation, blowouts become very likely.
That's the general premise I used in picking five favorites that had to cover double-digit spreads, and only Central Florida (with its $100 bet) didn't make it. On the other hand, I ventured out to lay money on two dogs. The trends came through for me on Pittsburgh +4, but I underestimated Minnesota. I thought Penn St. could have won that game, but they were nowhere near 2 1/2. Good thing I only put down only $50.
What really made this a good week was that my two losses were only $100 and $50. Meanwhile, two I wagered $150 on, Iowa -14 1/2 and Indiana -9, both came through for me. Add that I parlayed that Hoosier bet with North Carolina -13 (is that the first parlay I've won this year?) and, in just one week, I lopped off 80-5% of my debt.
---
There are many more lopsided games on-paper, and we're nearing the end of the season, which makes me believe more ass-kickings are in store. So why am I balking at making so many plays this week? Is it because I don't want to give back all of my gains after making so much headway last week? Yeah.
1) West Virginia -6 1/2 (I don't see Kansas as the worst team in the Big 12; isn't that Iowa St.? But the Mountaineers, although they have let many games pass them by, can score, and therefore they should go into Lawrence, Kans., and beat the Jayhawks. Best Bet this) $100
2) Oklahoma -24 1/2 (Speaking of Iowa St., they travel to Norman, Okla., and face a Sooners team that has underwhelmed again. I think Bob Stoops needs to whip the Cyclones to quiet any whispers [and they probably are just whispers; I don't see his seat getting hot because he's a virtual institution] ... but I'm not willing to lay a whole bunch of money down with that three-touchdown-plus spread) $50
3) Central Florida -17 1/2 (See, the problem this week is that the much-better teams are playing on the road. Upsets are much more likely against a sparse student section that has found reason to get loud. I'll still take the Golden Knights, in the driver's seat to take the conference's first, last and only automatic BcS bid for the American Apparel Conference on the road against what probably is the league's worst team, Temple) $50
4) Oklahoma St. -3 (Now I'm sticking my neck out here. I predict that the rally his Texas players have made, all the way into getting into prime position for the Big 12 title, will allow Mack Brown to keep his job. I don't know how he's doing it, but it looks like his recruits are playing for him. On the other hand, I still am underwhelmed by Mike Gundy's Cowboys team, which still roams around the Top 15 of the polls despite not doing anything I see on SportsCenter or Fox Sports Live. And this game is being played in Texas, y'all. The differences, however, are the trends and Texas' injuries, the latest being to the Longhorns' starting Running Back. If Okie St. is this good, they'll be able to manage Texas' running game and induce more turnovers on QB Case McCoy, who has thrown more INTs than TDs the last three games [five and four, respectively]) $50
5) Michigan St. -6 (I doubt the Spartans' overall strength. In particular I don't know how they can score. But they don't have to when they have a defense that stops everybody. And even though I'm wary that they're going into Nebraska, it'll be a case of unmovable object against very stoppable force in Nebraska's offense. I just didn't have good vibes about this game, but once I thought about it, I should Best Bet this) $100
6) South Carolina -13 1/2 (Steve Spurrier facing his old team, Florida, wounded animal Florida, at home? I should Triple Best Bet this) $150
7) Baylor -8 (Hosting Texas Tech, which is reeling after having lost three straight. This should be a case where the Bears just run away from the Red Raiders, even though I'm not getting anywhere near that damn Point Total of 84.5. But I'll Triple Best Bet the Against The Spread) $150
8) Parlay the Triple Best Bets, 6) and 7), for $100.
So I didn't take this week as easy as I first thought. Good luck!
Total Record: 38-45-2
Total Outlay, Week 11: $900.00
Total Winnings, Week 11: $1,605.33
Gain, Week 11: $705.33
Overall Loss: $128.77
Whew, I needed that week! Let this be a tip for you, from someone who's unable and unwilling to put his money where his mouth is: In November college football you get teams that are good and are willing to push through the end of the season, and there are teams that are bad and can't wait for the season to end. When one of each meet, in my observation, blowouts become very likely.
That's the general premise I used in picking five favorites that had to cover double-digit spreads, and only Central Florida (with its $100 bet) didn't make it. On the other hand, I ventured out to lay money on two dogs. The trends came through for me on Pittsburgh +4, but I underestimated Minnesota. I thought Penn St. could have won that game, but they were nowhere near 2 1/2. Good thing I only put down only $50.
What really made this a good week was that my two losses were only $100 and $50. Meanwhile, two I wagered $150 on, Iowa -14 1/2 and Indiana -9, both came through for me. Add that I parlayed that Hoosier bet with North Carolina -13 (is that the first parlay I've won this year?) and, in just one week, I lopped off 80-5% of my debt.
---
There are many more lopsided games on-paper, and we're nearing the end of the season, which makes me believe more ass-kickings are in store. So why am I balking at making so many plays this week? Is it because I don't want to give back all of my gains after making so much headway last week? Yeah.
1) West Virginia -6 1/2 (I don't see Kansas as the worst team in the Big 12; isn't that Iowa St.? But the Mountaineers, although they have let many games pass them by, can score, and therefore they should go into Lawrence, Kans., and beat the Jayhawks. Best Bet this) $100
2) Oklahoma -24 1/2 (Speaking of Iowa St., they travel to Norman, Okla., and face a Sooners team that has underwhelmed again. I think Bob Stoops needs to whip the Cyclones to quiet any whispers [and they probably are just whispers; I don't see his seat getting hot because he's a virtual institution] ... but I'm not willing to lay a whole bunch of money down with that three-touchdown-plus spread) $50
3) Central Florida -17 1/2 (See, the problem this week is that the much-better teams are playing on the road. Upsets are much more likely against a sparse student section that has found reason to get loud. I'll still take the Golden Knights, in the driver's seat to take the conference's first, last and only automatic BcS bid for the American Apparel Conference on the road against what probably is the league's worst team, Temple) $50
4) Oklahoma St. -3 (Now I'm sticking my neck out here. I predict that the rally his Texas players have made, all the way into getting into prime position for the Big 12 title, will allow Mack Brown to keep his job. I don't know how he's doing it, but it looks like his recruits are playing for him. On the other hand, I still am underwhelmed by Mike Gundy's Cowboys team, which still roams around the Top 15 of the polls despite not doing anything I see on SportsCenter or Fox Sports Live. And this game is being played in Texas, y'all. The differences, however, are the trends and Texas' injuries, the latest being to the Longhorns' starting Running Back. If Okie St. is this good, they'll be able to manage Texas' running game and induce more turnovers on QB Case McCoy, who has thrown more INTs than TDs the last three games [five and four, respectively]) $50
5) Michigan St. -6 (I doubt the Spartans' overall strength. In particular I don't know how they can score. But they don't have to when they have a defense that stops everybody. And even though I'm wary that they're going into Nebraska, it'll be a case of unmovable object against very stoppable force in Nebraska's offense. I just didn't have good vibes about this game, but once I thought about it, I should Best Bet this) $100
6) South Carolina -13 1/2 (Steve Spurrier facing his old team, Florida, wounded animal Florida, at home? I should Triple Best Bet this) $150
7) Baylor -8 (Hosting Texas Tech, which is reeling after having lost three straight. This should be a case where the Bears just run away from the Red Raiders, even though I'm not getting anywhere near that damn Point Total of 84.5. But I'll Triple Best Bet the Against The Spread) $150
8) Parlay the Triple Best Bets, 6) and 7), for $100.
So I didn't take this week as easy as I first thought. Good luck!
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