OK, I have less than 90 minutes before the day turns, I need to file this WMNSS in before midnight, so this will be extremely pithy:
Positive Numbers: Wild (Last Week: -3). OK, maybe they didn't need to panic after all. After shitting the bed in Game 4, going into hostile territory for a pivotal Game 5 and allowing the first goal by the always dangerous Vladimir Tarasenko, they took control midway through the game against St. Louis and won 4-1. They duplicated that score in closing out the Blues Sunday in Game 6 at the X.
Looks like three factors were in play that allowed the Wild to right the ship and give Minnesota its first professional hockey series-clinching win in the state since the North Stars beat, of all teams, the St. Louis Blues in the Norris Division Finals in 1991: Devan Dubnyk bouncing back from that fuck-up to turn away 60+ shots in Games 5 and 6; the contrasting shitty play of the Blues Goaltenders in those two games; and the underachieving aura that the Blues have failed to air since virtually the franchise was born (they still have not won a Stanley Cup).
Things will change in the second round, where they will meet Minnesota pro hockey's longtime rivals, the Chicago Blackhawks, for the third consecutive postseason. Well, the shaky goaltending will still be there; Corey Crawford is far from the stellar backstopper that he was last year. But the winners' aura will be there, and the Wild will have to overcome the oppression by the Blackhawks in order to advance to the Western Conference Finals. The series starts tomorrow (Friday), and I for one can't wait and hope to catch the back half at a bar once I get off of work.
#0: Gopher softball (Last Week: -2). This program remains the best-kept secret in local area spectator spots. They ran a perfect 5-0 through the week, first by obliterating Iowa at Cowles Stadium in three games by scores of 8-0, 8-0 and 9-0. All of those games ended by mercy rule after five innings. Sara Groenewegen was named Big Ten Pitcher Of The Week for the fourth time this season for pitching a one-hitter in the Friday game against the Hawkeyes and the two-hitter in the Sunday game.
The club then surprised the hell out of me by going to Madison to play a doubleheader Wisconsin Wednesday. I swear it was not on the schedule the last time I checked. No matter; they won by scores of 7-2 and 12-1, the latter a slaughter-rule-imposed five-inning game. The softball team is now 43-8 overall, 17-3 in the B1G, and a sterling 19-1 away from home. And since they are floating around the Top 10, there is an outside chance that they could be a national seed, which means they not only will get a chance to host a regional but, if they win that, a super regional. That would make this year's team the best in program history.
They finish the regular season with a three-game series vs. Purdue in Dinkytown. I would go to a game, but I was offered work on Saturday, and I don't know if I will go to Sunday's regular season finale. They will then begin the Big Ten Tournament, held this year in Columbus, Thursday.
#-1: Vikings (Re-Entry!). They are here because of the NFL Draft, which began tonight (Thursday night). And despite all the talk about trading Adrian Peterson, the Vikings wound up drafting the man most prognosticators believed they would pick: Michigan St. Cornerback Trae Waynes. I have no idea if this person will pan out. But he graded out as the best CB in this year's draft, the Vikes need a corner (hell, every team in the NFL needs a corner), and his physical play is perfect for Head Coach Mike Zimmer's defensive philosophy. As Draft Night predictions go, the squad could not go wrong.
And for what it's worth, Peterson is still a Viking.
#-2: Twins (Last Week: -4). Honestly, pulling weeks where they're around .500, like the Twins did going 3-4, is going to give the Twinks, oh, 75 wins. And that means they'll avoid 90 losses. That's progress! This following screening week will be entirely held at Target Field. They continue a four-game series they began tonight (Thursday night) against the Chicago White Sox, then host Oakland for four starting on Monday.
#-3: Gopher baseball (Last Week: -1). OK, this is going down to the brass tacks. They dropped two-of-three to Michigan, which puts them at 7-11 in the B1G, a game ahead of Indiana for eighth place and a spot in the conference tournament, which will be held at Target Field three weeks from now, on Memorial Weekend.
They then split a two-game midweek series against Kansas St. The Tuesday game was a 5-0 victory where pitchers Toby Anderson, Lucas Gilbreath and Matt Fiedler one-hit the Wildcats. Unfortunately they followed that up with a 9-0 loss Wednesday afternoon.
They finish their 13-game homestand and their mini-non-conference schedule with three against UC-Irvine. The Sunday game is high noon, and since I have not seen the baseball team yet this year, and since they are facing a team that doesn't come around Siebert Field that often, I think I will go watch them.
#-4: Swarm (Last Week: -5). The Smarm dropped their fourth game in a row by losing at Xcel to Edmonton, 16-12. I was at a much better sporting even close by: I saw the Minnesota RollerGirls trounce Chicago as revenge for the only tie in women's roller derby history a few years ago. And I know I made the right choice, even despite the pathetic tweets from Smarm fans thanking the team for the atmosphere. Whatever. They finish the season at home Saturday against Rochester. Of course it's going up against the Mayweather-Pacquiao fight, so everybody not going to the game should rightly ignore it.
Thursday, April 30, 2015
Wednesday, April 29, 2015
Addendum To: Screwing Things Up Food-Wise Lately (ETA: Well, Maybe Not Lately, More Like A Few Weeks Ago)
See, what I did just tonight, after coming home from working the night shift job, illustrates how I lose my willpower, and eat food I don't need to eat, thus spending money I really shouldn't spend.
I did not spend any money Monday. I went straight home from work. As soon as I got home I felt horrible pangs of hunger. I ate decently; at my evening shift job I chased a banana and some bite-sized chocolates down with coffee. But I was starving once I got home, and I couldn't believe those urges hit me because I felt my stomach and I'm still fat!!! But I had to lunge at something, and seeing that there was not juice I could down my gullet, I reached for Father's stash of peanuts (his go-to snack) and ate several handfuls. I woke up with a lot of energy and my colon blocked up like someone poured concrete up my rectum. Seriously, I tried to shit tonight (Tuesday night), and I was pooping pellets.
Tuesday I had to fill up my car; Discount Tuesdays and all. And since I had to charge my credit card for gas, I thought I might as well use it for a bunch of other stuff, like the juice (which I had been trying to get for over a week now but simply forgot) and Taco Bell, to make sure that the hunger pangs won't hit once I got home.
I did not expect, however, that a very sweet person working in the same room as I for the evening shift job would bring in banana bread and butter. The bread was great, but the butter ... hmmm, butter. And so I ate three slices of it, each with a huge slab of butter.
And so I was stuffed before I even left work. But did that sate me all the way home? No. I stopped at Target to get juice and think about whether I should eat one more time, and then I decided to stop by at the local TB to try their new Doubledilla.
Now I am stuffed and feeling both fat and very guilty. The upshot to that is I won't be eating out before coming home tonight (Wednesday) because 1) I do not have to get gas so I won't have to pull out my wallet for anything and 2) I am going to not stuff my face after doing so last (Tuesday) night. Still, I shelled out $6.30 or so for Taco Bell and a can of Coke. Did I really have to do that? Doing that two times or even one time a week has always added up.
The credit card statement came today. I will not open it. I'll just avoid looking at the total I will pay when I go online.
I did not spend any money Monday. I went straight home from work. As soon as I got home I felt horrible pangs of hunger. I ate decently; at my evening shift job I chased a banana and some bite-sized chocolates down with coffee. But I was starving once I got home, and I couldn't believe those urges hit me because I felt my stomach and I'm still fat!!! But I had to lunge at something, and seeing that there was not juice I could down my gullet, I reached for Father's stash of peanuts (his go-to snack) and ate several handfuls. I woke up with a lot of energy and my colon blocked up like someone poured concrete up my rectum. Seriously, I tried to shit tonight (Tuesday night), and I was pooping pellets.
Tuesday I had to fill up my car; Discount Tuesdays and all. And since I had to charge my credit card for gas, I thought I might as well use it for a bunch of other stuff, like the juice (which I had been trying to get for over a week now but simply forgot) and Taco Bell, to make sure that the hunger pangs won't hit once I got home.
I did not expect, however, that a very sweet person working in the same room as I for the evening shift job would bring in banana bread and butter. The bread was great, but the butter ... hmmm, butter. And so I ate three slices of it, each with a huge slab of butter.
And so I was stuffed before I even left work. But did that sate me all the way home? No. I stopped at Target to get juice and think about whether I should eat one more time, and then I decided to stop by at the local TB to try their new Doubledilla.
Now I am stuffed and feeling both fat and very guilty. The upshot to that is I won't be eating out before coming home tonight (Wednesday) because 1) I do not have to get gas so I won't have to pull out my wallet for anything and 2) I am going to not stuff my face after doing so last (Tuesday) night. Still, I shelled out $6.30 or so for Taco Bell and a can of Coke. Did I really have to do that? Doing that two times or even one time a week has always added up.
The credit card statement came today. I will not open it. I'll just avoid looking at the total I will pay when I go online.
Tuesday, April 28, 2015
Baltimore Is Burning
So as I type this there is rioting in Baltimore over the death of Freddie Gray, a black man whose spine was broken while in the custody of police, most if not all of whom were white. That follows ... well, Ferguson started all of this, and there probably is New York City, maybe Ohio, possibly South Carolina, etc. I have just brought up online the audio feed of the Baltimore Police Department. It's very interesting to eavesdrop on these police scanners, especially when you're listening to the PDs of the college town whose team just lost. So it seems kind of terrible to be curious about how law enforcement is answering what appears to be a second night of a full-blown riot.
But I am blown away by something else: A greater, louder chorus that, I must say, understands and even endorses the riots. Mind you, it appears as though the vast majority of writers and self-appointed experts see the #BaltimoreRiots as self-defeating violence in the face of institutional racism. Two towering literary figures that no a lot more about the state of race relations in America than I will ever know, David Simon and Charlie Pierce, are denouncing the looting and unrest. But it appears as though the cavalcade of nihilistic protest that began with the shooting death of Michael Brown in Ferguson, Mo. over the summer and has continued with story after story of unarmed black men being shot to death at the hands of white police officers has convinced some that there is something, very, very wrong with those to whom we hand over law-and-order responsibilities.
I hear the sympathy towards the rioting not just in the cacophonous clown show that is Twitter. Saw a friend on Facebook post an image of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. with a quote including a line I am seeing more and more in memes in reaction to the riots: "A riot is the language of the unheard." Most surprising of all, John Angelos, Executive Vice President of the Baltimore Orioles and son of the Owner of the franchise, has come out firmly in support of the protesters/rioters, or at least pointed out (in a series of tweets stitched together here and at other websites) that the burning around his city is the result of years of income inequality, neglect by city officials and the oppression of public trusts that were meant to salve the needs of the poor. This is a guy who works for the team directly affected by the riots: Fans at Sunday's game were told to stay in Camden Yards for their safety as the protests swirled just outside the stadium, and Monday's game was cancelled in preparation for more burning. A public figure representing one of the pillars of the community -- a stable force reflecting what is supposed to be the best of Baltimore -- shining a light on its dark side and siding with the oppressed against the other stable forces of the community has to resonate deeply, somehow.
I am, with most things, torn. It makes no sense to me for a community to erupt in anger and then destroy itself. Then again, anger is not supposed to be rational. Never has been. And to be disrespected day after day, year after year by those who are supposed to help you, to the point where (assuming the visceral assumptions turn into fact in the case of Freddie Gray) what was once thought to be impossible turns to unspeakable reality -- well, that's the last straw, and to quote Chris Rock, I understand.
This is the revenge for having your dream deferred. It has, in fact, exploded. For about the past year, all across the country, the dream deferred has exploded.
But I am blown away by something else: A greater, louder chorus that, I must say, understands and even endorses the riots. Mind you, it appears as though the vast majority of writers and self-appointed experts see the #BaltimoreRiots as self-defeating violence in the face of institutional racism. Two towering literary figures that no a lot more about the state of race relations in America than I will ever know, David Simon and Charlie Pierce, are denouncing the looting and unrest. But it appears as though the cavalcade of nihilistic protest that began with the shooting death of Michael Brown in Ferguson, Mo. over the summer and has continued with story after story of unarmed black men being shot to death at the hands of white police officers has convinced some that there is something, very, very wrong with those to whom we hand over law-and-order responsibilities.
I hear the sympathy towards the rioting not just in the cacophonous clown show that is Twitter. Saw a friend on Facebook post an image of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. with a quote including a line I am seeing more and more in memes in reaction to the riots: "A riot is the language of the unheard." Most surprising of all, John Angelos, Executive Vice President of the Baltimore Orioles and son of the Owner of the franchise, has come out firmly in support of the protesters/rioters, or at least pointed out (in a series of tweets stitched together here and at other websites) that the burning around his city is the result of years of income inequality, neglect by city officials and the oppression of public trusts that were meant to salve the needs of the poor. This is a guy who works for the team directly affected by the riots: Fans at Sunday's game were told to stay in Camden Yards for their safety as the protests swirled just outside the stadium, and Monday's game was cancelled in preparation for more burning. A public figure representing one of the pillars of the community -- a stable force reflecting what is supposed to be the best of Baltimore -- shining a light on its dark side and siding with the oppressed against the other stable forces of the community has to resonate deeply, somehow.
I am, with most things, torn. It makes no sense to me for a community to erupt in anger and then destroy itself. Then again, anger is not supposed to be rational. Never has been. And to be disrespected day after day, year after year by those who are supposed to help you, to the point where (assuming the visceral assumptions turn into fact in the case of Freddie Gray) what was once thought to be impossible turns to unspeakable reality -- well, that's the last straw, and to quote Chris Rock, I understand.
This is the revenge for having your dream deferred. It has, in fact, exploded. For about the past year, all across the country, the dream deferred has exploded.
Monday, April 27, 2015
Back To The Permanent (Well, Not Really) Grind
Today/Monday begins the tentpole test project of the season: Ten weeks (hopefully) of grading kids' papers from two states. It will also be the start of at least a week of double duty, where I test score during the day at one place, then drive to test score at another place for the night shift. That'll be (hopefully) 12 hours for the week of looking at children's writing and thoughts and going, "What are they thinking?!"
A part of me thinks I'm told old for this shit. I have managed to (I think) double-dip like this in each of the previous four seasons I have scored tests. But the energy I expend to try to figure out what the kid is scratching on the paper and then try to interpret what they mean by those words I finally figured out makes me tired and irritable, and it seems I am quicker to that state of frustration this year. I barely make it through eight hours without losing my mind; a half-day and I might bang my head against the desk until it bleeds.
But then I remember that I spent about $1,300 to fix up my car. And then I remember The Asshole from the flu billing place who yelled at me and think, "You know what? I don't want to go back to that place again." And then I panic about where am I going to find my next meal. So I quiet myself and remember that these two places like me enough to hire me for a job, which means I have to be good at it, or at least not bad at it. Also, test scoring season has a shelf life, and if I pass up days because I can't stand it, it won't come back again.
I'll endure. In fact I caught wind that there may be another project at night that they'll need people for. That might be more 12-hour days, but it'll also mean more money. And right now, that's what I need. Heck, every single minute I need money.
A part of me thinks I'm told old for this shit. I have managed to (I think) double-dip like this in each of the previous four seasons I have scored tests. But the energy I expend to try to figure out what the kid is scratching on the paper and then try to interpret what they mean by those words I finally figured out makes me tired and irritable, and it seems I am quicker to that state of frustration this year. I barely make it through eight hours without losing my mind; a half-day and I might bang my head against the desk until it bleeds.
But then I remember that I spent about $1,300 to fix up my car. And then I remember The Asshole from the flu billing place who yelled at me and think, "You know what? I don't want to go back to that place again." And then I panic about where am I going to find my next meal. So I quiet myself and remember that these two places like me enough to hire me for a job, which means I have to be good at it, or at least not bad at it. Also, test scoring season has a shelf life, and if I pass up days because I can't stand it, it won't come back again.
I'll endure. In fact I caught wind that there may be another project at night that they'll need people for. That might be more 12-hour days, but it'll also mean more money. And right now, that's what I need. Heck, every single minute I need money.
Sunday, April 26, 2015
Please, Minnesota, Don't Be Like A Red State
So I did my annual health insurance premium income check a few months ago. Yesterday -- and remember that yesterday was Saturday -- I received a letter from them asking for more information. I have been sent these "What?" forms a lot. It always has to do with my declaration of projected annual income, which varies because, at least for right now, I am a temp.
However, along with the request for more information I saw that they had a due date for me to send these in. It is April 26. In other words, today. Which is Sunday.
Now, do they know that they sent out a form which will determine how much, let alone if, I will get health insurance that 1) got to my mailbox on a Saturday (and in the early evening at that, since I got home from work) and 2) has a due date the following day which 3) falls on a Sunday, when there are no post offices open? Do they?
They had better accept my forms postmarked Monday. I'll get on this today (after I do some alumni club stuff, which already scares the shit out of me and print out some stuff at the library which, by the way, has limited hours because it's a Sunday), but I do not appreciate at all the fact that I have one days' warning that these health insurance documentation copies are due. And it really pisses me off that this supposed due date falls on a Sunday. It's as if they set me up. There are post offices open on the weekend. One in downtown Minneapolis has limited hours into the afternoon, a few hours after the rest in the state close. And there is the airport post office, which extends to 11 or midnight every day. Do they really expect me to assemble all these copies and drive all the way down to the airport to get this letter postmarked today, April 26 ... and after a day's notice, at that?
What I imagine is that they'll reject these forms because they'll be late -- "Sorry, these copies of your W-2's came after the due date, so we are not going to consider them. We'll instead just imagine that you make $100,000 every year, so therefore we're going to take away your health insurance. Sorry!" That's what I think red states do, what states that rejected Obamacare will do to fuck over their residents. Minnesota did not reject Obamacare. So why do they do something as careless as this?
This has me really worried. I cannot imagine that they'll get bent out of shape over something that was postmarked a day later than it was due. I'll add a sternly worded letter sharing my concerns, and hopefully it'll fall under sympathetic eyes. But if I somehow lose my health insurance because of this, man, I will be really, really mad.
However, along with the request for more information I saw that they had a due date for me to send these in. It is April 26. In other words, today. Which is Sunday.
Now, do they know that they sent out a form which will determine how much, let alone if, I will get health insurance that 1) got to my mailbox on a Saturday (and in the early evening at that, since I got home from work) and 2) has a due date the following day which 3) falls on a Sunday, when there are no post offices open? Do they?
They had better accept my forms postmarked Monday. I'll get on this today (after I do some alumni club stuff, which already scares the shit out of me and print out some stuff at the library which, by the way, has limited hours because it's a Sunday), but I do not appreciate at all the fact that I have one days' warning that these health insurance documentation copies are due. And it really pisses me off that this supposed due date falls on a Sunday. It's as if they set me up. There are post offices open on the weekend. One in downtown Minneapolis has limited hours into the afternoon, a few hours after the rest in the state close. And there is the airport post office, which extends to 11 or midnight every day. Do they really expect me to assemble all these copies and drive all the way down to the airport to get this letter postmarked today, April 26 ... and after a day's notice, at that?
What I imagine is that they'll reject these forms because they'll be late -- "Sorry, these copies of your W-2's came after the due date, so we are not going to consider them. We'll instead just imagine that you make $100,000 every year, so therefore we're going to take away your health insurance. Sorry!" That's what I think red states do, what states that rejected Obamacare will do to fuck over their residents. Minnesota did not reject Obamacare. So why do they do something as careless as this?
This has me really worried. I cannot imagine that they'll get bent out of shape over something that was postmarked a day later than it was due. I'll add a sternly worded letter sharing my concerns, and hopefully it'll fall under sympathetic eyes. But if I somehow lose my health insurance because of this, man, I will be really, really mad.
Saturday, April 25, 2015
Glutton For Punishment
So when I came into work last night for the test scoring project the guy said it was true: There will be overtime. In fact the hours for OT, which is today, has been extended. I thought they would be limited to only six hours, but at least for today, you can put in a full eight hours.
And that is what I plan to do. I would rather not. I would rather go down to Brit's Pub and spend a couple hours watching a soccer match. But there is an opportunity for me to make money, and I am in no position to just pass up money. I rule I go by is that I do the thing that won't come back again. And there really is nothing better for me to do today than to work.
Now there is the MNRG bout tonight, so I have about two hours to relax, take a nap, shower and eat dinner before enjoying my night. In that sense, I have made a busy day in busier. But again, hey, it's work.
I wonder if I would be so gung ho about going to work if I didn't grow up with my parents going to work before I head off to school and seeing them come back from work after we came home from school. That (for lack of a better word) industriousness may have been instilled in me, or I just grew up around it. Either way, I'm doing it. Hope I don't go crazy trying to read these kids' writing for eight hours today.
And that is what I plan to do. I would rather not. I would rather go down to Brit's Pub and spend a couple hours watching a soccer match. But there is an opportunity for me to make money, and I am in no position to just pass up money. I rule I go by is that I do the thing that won't come back again. And there really is nothing better for me to do today than to work.
Now there is the MNRG bout tonight, so I have about two hours to relax, take a nap, shower and eat dinner before enjoying my night. In that sense, I have made a busy day in busier. But again, hey, it's work.
I wonder if I would be so gung ho about going to work if I didn't grow up with my parents going to work before I head off to school and seeing them come back from work after we came home from school. That (for lack of a better word) industriousness may have been instilled in me, or I just grew up around it. Either way, I'm doing it. Hope I don't go crazy trying to read these kids' writing for eight hours today.
Friday, April 24, 2015
Damn (Private Market) Internet On The Fritz Again
Internet at home has been spotty the past few days, but it gets "sick" from time to time, and I sure as hell ain't going to fall into the rude jaws of Comcast, so I deal with it. Sometimes, though, it's down all day, like it was yesterday. That is incredibly frustrating, but my parents, who are now retired and have nothing to do but pud around the house all day, well, they got pissed off. Father got so pissed that he switched back to our old modem, thinking that the modem is the problem, when it is not.
I don't have the energy to fight him over this; it's the connection, the phone company's fault, not ours. But I did feel a soft breaking point, where I called the phone company and asked them to come over and fix the intermittent problem connecting. Unfortunately, like in calls past, the tech came on the line and absolutely insisted that he go through me to see what I could do before someone calls in. That necessitates me being in front of my computer and in the house to check to see, for example, if there are filters in all the right places. I was on the road -- specifically (and don't tell my parents this) I got extensions put on my insoles -- so there was no chance I was going to be able to help him. Besides, I've been through this crap before. I just wanted someone to come in and help. But the tech guy said that a house call could result in the phone company charging me up to $100. At this point, frankly, I wouldn't mind paying it. But my parents would. And they would be the ones allowing the repairman to come in, so the talk of how much this would cost would invariably come up. Will have to avoid that. At this point the Internet seems to be back up, so I have let once-barking dogs lie.
But this gets me thinking about the state of our Internet. Not just mine, which is far from perfect, but the country's. According to this list I saw on Wikipedia, the U.S. ranks 11th in Internet speed. Guess that's OK, but America isn't known for modesty, and I would rather be an Ugly American if that means I get faster download speeds. You can see on the list that South Korea is lapping the world when it comes to Internet speed; why can't we be like them?
I understand that Internet speed and ability to connect (which is my problem) isn't the same problem. But I think they share a similar solution, and one that I think is necessary: Government investment. The Federal Communications Commission caved to public interest is about to categorize the Internet as a public utility. It is now time for the country -- us -- to put our money (taxes) where are mouths are and dig up the earth to install faster cables. And maybe then my house Internet won't go down every two months.
I'm thinking about what probably is the best approach to getting fast Internet in the country: Municipality-controlled online networks. Chattanooga, Tenn., hardly a city I would call "forward-thinking," had the good sense to understand that it's best to build and maintain a fast and reliable Internet if you just build the damn thing by yourself. And now the city's taxpayers pay for Internet speeds of one gigabyte. And I hear businesses are moving in to take advantage of this government-controlled utility.
Man, I would love that here. But in most places in the country, municipality-owned Internet is not only impossible, but illegal. That's because the giant telecommunications industries (foremost among them Comcast and Time Warner) have lobbied city and state governments to make laws that forbid the governments -- in other words, themselves -- from creating their own Internet networks. Of the many ways powerful people and corporations (nearly all of them Republican) manage to force governments to fuck themselves against their own and the people's best interests, this is one of the worst.
So we are at the mercy of the whims of these private companies, who say they can supply fast and reliable Internet when it's pretty much a lie. And we have no other choice but to buy from them; in return we get download speeds that are faster in ten countries. We also get shitty customer service. What we don't get, at least not yet, is upgrades to the infrastructure, because they have shareholders they have to please and it doesn't make financial sense to spend money on paying people to install faster cables when we're just a bunch of fucking lapdogs that'll throw money their way for Internet at any speed. So they'll give us whatever speed they damn well please until someone (not the local government) forces them to upgrade.
Nevertheless (and I know I sound like I'm going back on my own outrage) I wait for my phone company, through which we get our Internet, to make good on their promise to finally dig up their old cables and eventually supply an infrastructure that they say will speed up Internet to one gig. They began their campaign last year and a representative told me it is a matter of time they got to our neck of the woods.
They fucking better. I unfortunately will be supplicating to them, paying a hell of a lot more money than I am now for what is supposed to be zooming Internet. I just hope to God it won't cut out in our house like it is now.
I don't have the energy to fight him over this; it's the connection, the phone company's fault, not ours. But I did feel a soft breaking point, where I called the phone company and asked them to come over and fix the intermittent problem connecting. Unfortunately, like in calls past, the tech came on the line and absolutely insisted that he go through me to see what I could do before someone calls in. That necessitates me being in front of my computer and in the house to check to see, for example, if there are filters in all the right places. I was on the road -- specifically (and don't tell my parents this) I got extensions put on my insoles -- so there was no chance I was going to be able to help him. Besides, I've been through this crap before. I just wanted someone to come in and help. But the tech guy said that a house call could result in the phone company charging me up to $100. At this point, frankly, I wouldn't mind paying it. But my parents would. And they would be the ones allowing the repairman to come in, so the talk of how much this would cost would invariably come up. Will have to avoid that. At this point the Internet seems to be back up, so I have let once-barking dogs lie.
But this gets me thinking about the state of our Internet. Not just mine, which is far from perfect, but the country's. According to this list I saw on Wikipedia, the U.S. ranks 11th in Internet speed. Guess that's OK, but America isn't known for modesty, and I would rather be an Ugly American if that means I get faster download speeds. You can see on the list that South Korea is lapping the world when it comes to Internet speed; why can't we be like them?
I understand that Internet speed and ability to connect (which is my problem) isn't the same problem. But I think they share a similar solution, and one that I think is necessary: Government investment. The Federal Communications Commission caved to public interest is about to categorize the Internet as a public utility. It is now time for the country -- us -- to put our money (taxes) where are mouths are and dig up the earth to install faster cables. And maybe then my house Internet won't go down every two months.
I'm thinking about what probably is the best approach to getting fast Internet in the country: Municipality-controlled online networks. Chattanooga, Tenn., hardly a city I would call "forward-thinking," had the good sense to understand that it's best to build and maintain a fast and reliable Internet if you just build the damn thing by yourself. And now the city's taxpayers pay for Internet speeds of one gigabyte. And I hear businesses are moving in to take advantage of this government-controlled utility.
Man, I would love that here. But in most places in the country, municipality-owned Internet is not only impossible, but illegal. That's because the giant telecommunications industries (foremost among them Comcast and Time Warner) have lobbied city and state governments to make laws that forbid the governments -- in other words, themselves -- from creating their own Internet networks. Of the many ways powerful people and corporations (nearly all of them Republican) manage to force governments to fuck themselves against their own and the people's best interests, this is one of the worst.
So we are at the mercy of the whims of these private companies, who say they can supply fast and reliable Internet when it's pretty much a lie. And we have no other choice but to buy from them; in return we get download speeds that are faster in ten countries. We also get shitty customer service. What we don't get, at least not yet, is upgrades to the infrastructure, because they have shareholders they have to please and it doesn't make financial sense to spend money on paying people to install faster cables when we're just a bunch of fucking lapdogs that'll throw money their way for Internet at any speed. So they'll give us whatever speed they damn well please until someone (not the local government) forces them to upgrade.
Nevertheless (and I know I sound like I'm going back on my own outrage) I wait for my phone company, through which we get our Internet, to make good on their promise to finally dig up their old cables and eventually supply an infrastructure that they say will speed up Internet to one gig. They began their campaign last year and a representative told me it is a matter of time they got to our neck of the woods.
They fucking better. I unfortunately will be supplicating to them, paying a hell of a lot more money than I am now for what is supposed to be zooming Internet. I just hope to God it won't cut out in our house like it is now.
Thursday, April 23, 2015
The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey
#-1: Gopher baseball (Last Week: -2). I really thought I would not be putting the U.'s baseball team in the first spot in the WMNSS the rest of the season. Yet here we are; after the club swept Penn St. at Siebert and then defeated South Dakota St. at home yesterday (Wednesday) afternoon at the bottom of the ninth on an RBI single by Matt Fielder, the Gophers, who have their annual write-up in the Star Tribune today, are riding a five-game winning streak and inarguably is playing the best all of the year. Nevertheless they are still only 6-9 in the conference, therefore they still would not be participating in the conference tournament, which will take place at Target Field.
As I said last week, if they are going to climb back into a top-eight spot in the B1G and therefore a spot in the tourney, they have to take advantage of their 13-game homestand. This week is incredibly busy: They have a three-game series against Michigan this weekend, then after a day off Monday, they host a special two-game mid-week series against the first of two non-conference teams, Kansas St. I would have loved to have gone to see one of those games just for the novelty. Alas, I have test scoring projects that'll prevent me from going to either Tuesday night's or Wednesday afternoon's game.
#-2: Gopher softball (Last Week: Positive Numbers). This is a sign that I still don't know that much about softball: I thought that Michigan St., the squad's opponent over the weekend, would be a bigger challenge than North Dakota St., the team they had a doubleheader against yesterday (Wednesday). Turns out, however, that the Spartans were no match for the Gophers, even at home; Minnesota outscored them by a combined 24-9 (even though, surprisingly, they didn't slaughter-rule the Spartans in any of the three games). However, the team's winning streak ended at seven when the Bison took the first game of the one-day series 5-4. The Gophers responded by mercy-ruling NDSU 8-0 in five innings in the nightcap, which actually began at 4 in the afternoon. Only a couple days ago did I see that in the college softball polls, it was the Bison and not Michigan St. that was the team that received votes (and in fact is 25th in the College Sports Madness poll).
I see that in the same poll that the Gophers are 12th; they are, in fact, tenth in the other two, although I am not sure that the Bison doubleheader is factored in. This week they look to start a new winning streak when they finish a short homestand with a trio against Iowa.
#-3: Wild (Last Week: 0). Well, what a difference one game makes. Yes, Game 1 was great and of it stood to reason that St. Louis would bounce back to win Game 2. I felt some confidence after the Mild shut out the Blues in Game 3. Wild fans got a little cocky that they were about to steamroll the Central Division Champions.
And it seemed as if some members of the team did too, because they got their dicks smashed into a car door, at home, by the Loo last (Thursday) night 6-1. Devan Dubnyk became a sieve, the defense melted in front of them, there was no hustle along the boards or the corners and the speed that the squad was utilizing to great success in the series completely evaporated.
Don't get me wrong. When the Wild won Game 1 I thought that people who thought they had the series won don't know NHL playoff hockey. Home-ice advantage means little; of the four sports, only in baseball could playing in front of your home crowd be as irrelevant. But it's better to have home-ice than not to have home-ice. Moreover, news flash, it's better to win than to lose. And with the chance to leave St. Paul with a 3-1 series lead, they not only lost but got the shit kicked out of them. I can see championship teams lose a game in the Stanley Cup Playoffs. I cannot see a championship team allow a team to put their foot up their ass to the tune of 6-1.
Is it time to panic? I'm a bandwagon fan, so fuck yeah, it's time to panic! Up till now the big storyline on the Blues, at least from an outsider's perspective, is the team relying on goon Steve Ott instead of the speed of X-factor Vladimir Tarasenko. He was the one who scored a hat trick in Game 2, and he erupted with a pair of goals at the X in Game 4 to tie the series. It looks like St. Louis has woken up and decided to fight the Wild's speed with their speed. With that a wash, the tie may go to the better, deeper, more talented team. And I don't know if that's the Mild. The advantage they had because St. Louis decided to go with a faulty game plan may be gone.
Even if that theory is wrong, I think we can agree on one thing: Game 5 is kind of pivotal. If this team has any sack, they'll sure as fuck not shit the bed like they did at home for Game 4. No, I'll go one step further -- if this team has any sack, they'll win.
#-4: Twins (Last Week: -1). A 3-3 week -- which, considering the blowouts they suffered through way early in the season, is actually an improvement. In fact, I might be being overly optimistic, but there's a chance that this team has in fact improved. As Michael Rand pointed out in his Page 2 sheet at the Strib, lockdown strikeout pitchers out of the bullpen has been and may be a severe weakness, as it appeared to be in Tuesday's lead-blowing 6-5 loss at Kansas City. But the lineup has stabilized and begun to produce, and maybe the young guns in the rotation aren't going to be godawful like they have been the past four years. The playoffs are probably a pipe dream; avoiding 90 losses feels like a goal that can be tackled.
This week: They are in Seattle for three over the weekend, then come home to face Detroit for three games starting on Monday.
#-5: Swarm (Last Week: -3). So I made my annual sojourn to the Swarm game Saturday where they faced the Calgary Roughnecks (great name, by the way). I didn't have much incentive to see them since they have already been eliminated from the playoffs, but I couched my annual trip to eat at the venerable Mickey's Diner as an excuse.
I was pleasantly surprised by, all of people, the DJ. No, he still skipped through song after song like he had ADHD. But there was one thing he did that was really clever. He asked for The Wave, and like a bunch of fucking idiots the crowd at the X (which was announced as 8,131 -- man, that's a lot of masochists!) obliged and I went, "Oh, God." But then he told one section to do it in slow-motion, and they began to sloooooowly get up, put their hands in the air, put them down, and sit down. And the entire arena did it when they were supposed to do it. No joke, the timing was impeccable.
And then the DJ told one section that once The Wave got to them, to speed it up. And they did that as well. This crowd was so smart and literate, they jumped up and down to spur The Wave on when they were supposed superbly. I was so impressed that I had to jump in and do The Wave, both slow and fast. I have never seen that before, although I guess it wouldn't be too much of a leap to attempt that. But I was impressed, nonetheless.
So I have to give the DJ credit for coming up with that. I also have to compliment the DJ because I think he was entertaining the fans in order to divert their attention away from the piss-poor showing that their team was putting out on the field. The Smarm lost to Calgary 10-6, and it wasn't that close because they were blanked 4-0 in the second quarter and trailed 7-1 at the half. It got so bad that in the second starting Goalie Zach Higgins was replaced by sub Brodie MacDonald. MacDonald did OK; he certainly was not worse than Higgins. But inexplicably, before the period was over, Higgins came back in. Why?
That is one of many on-field questions I have about this team. They are going to miss the playoffs again, and there is a good chance that they'll be the worst team in the National Lacrosse League for the second year in a row. They recently jettisoned most of their veterans in order to bring in younger players and draft picks again. At what point are they going to stick with the players they accumulated and try to trot out a professional team? Or are they running this organization on the cheap?
I have to believe that this franchise is not making any money, or not enough that they can be successful in the box office with a good team. All the signs point not necessarily to parsimony, but belt-tightening. But you can't cut your way to success, as the past two years attest. So what the hell are the owners, John and Andy Arlotta, doing?
They host Edmonton Saturday night. I'll be in the vicinity, but not to watch the game. I'll be next door, at the Roy Wilkins Auditorium, to see the Minnesota RollerGirls take on Chicago.
As I said last week, if they are going to climb back into a top-eight spot in the B1G and therefore a spot in the tourney, they have to take advantage of their 13-game homestand. This week is incredibly busy: They have a three-game series against Michigan this weekend, then after a day off Monday, they host a special two-game mid-week series against the first of two non-conference teams, Kansas St. I would have loved to have gone to see one of those games just for the novelty. Alas, I have test scoring projects that'll prevent me from going to either Tuesday night's or Wednesday afternoon's game.
#-2: Gopher softball (Last Week: Positive Numbers). This is a sign that I still don't know that much about softball: I thought that Michigan St., the squad's opponent over the weekend, would be a bigger challenge than North Dakota St., the team they had a doubleheader against yesterday (Wednesday). Turns out, however, that the Spartans were no match for the Gophers, even at home; Minnesota outscored them by a combined 24-9 (even though, surprisingly, they didn't slaughter-rule the Spartans in any of the three games). However, the team's winning streak ended at seven when the Bison took the first game of the one-day series 5-4. The Gophers responded by mercy-ruling NDSU 8-0 in five innings in the nightcap, which actually began at 4 in the afternoon. Only a couple days ago did I see that in the college softball polls, it was the Bison and not Michigan St. that was the team that received votes (and in fact is 25th in the College Sports Madness poll).
I see that in the same poll that the Gophers are 12th; they are, in fact, tenth in the other two, although I am not sure that the Bison doubleheader is factored in. This week they look to start a new winning streak when they finish a short homestand with a trio against Iowa.
#-3: Wild (Last Week: 0). Well, what a difference one game makes. Yes, Game 1 was great and of it stood to reason that St. Louis would bounce back to win Game 2. I felt some confidence after the Mild shut out the Blues in Game 3. Wild fans got a little cocky that they were about to steamroll the Central Division Champions.
And it seemed as if some members of the team did too, because they got their dicks smashed into a car door, at home, by the Loo last (Thursday) night 6-1. Devan Dubnyk became a sieve, the defense melted in front of them, there was no hustle along the boards or the corners and the speed that the squad was utilizing to great success in the series completely evaporated.
Don't get me wrong. When the Wild won Game 1 I thought that people who thought they had the series won don't know NHL playoff hockey. Home-ice advantage means little; of the four sports, only in baseball could playing in front of your home crowd be as irrelevant. But it's better to have home-ice than not to have home-ice. Moreover, news flash, it's better to win than to lose. And with the chance to leave St. Paul with a 3-1 series lead, they not only lost but got the shit kicked out of them. I can see championship teams lose a game in the Stanley Cup Playoffs. I cannot see a championship team allow a team to put their foot up their ass to the tune of 6-1.
Is it time to panic? I'm a bandwagon fan, so fuck yeah, it's time to panic! Up till now the big storyline on the Blues, at least from an outsider's perspective, is the team relying on goon Steve Ott instead of the speed of X-factor Vladimir Tarasenko. He was the one who scored a hat trick in Game 2, and he erupted with a pair of goals at the X in Game 4 to tie the series. It looks like St. Louis has woken up and decided to fight the Wild's speed with their speed. With that a wash, the tie may go to the better, deeper, more talented team. And I don't know if that's the Mild. The advantage they had because St. Louis decided to go with a faulty game plan may be gone.
Even if that theory is wrong, I think we can agree on one thing: Game 5 is kind of pivotal. If this team has any sack, they'll sure as fuck not shit the bed like they did at home for Game 4. No, I'll go one step further -- if this team has any sack, they'll win.
#-4: Twins (Last Week: -1). A 3-3 week -- which, considering the blowouts they suffered through way early in the season, is actually an improvement. In fact, I might be being overly optimistic, but there's a chance that this team has in fact improved. As Michael Rand pointed out in his Page 2 sheet at the Strib, lockdown strikeout pitchers out of the bullpen has been and may be a severe weakness, as it appeared to be in Tuesday's lead-blowing 6-5 loss at Kansas City. But the lineup has stabilized and begun to produce, and maybe the young guns in the rotation aren't going to be godawful like they have been the past four years. The playoffs are probably a pipe dream; avoiding 90 losses feels like a goal that can be tackled.
This week: They are in Seattle for three over the weekend, then come home to face Detroit for three games starting on Monday.
#-5: Swarm (Last Week: -3). So I made my annual sojourn to the Swarm game Saturday where they faced the Calgary Roughnecks (great name, by the way). I didn't have much incentive to see them since they have already been eliminated from the playoffs, but I couched my annual trip to eat at the venerable Mickey's Diner as an excuse.
I was pleasantly surprised by, all of people, the DJ. No, he still skipped through song after song like he had ADHD. But there was one thing he did that was really clever. He asked for The Wave, and like a bunch of fucking idiots the crowd at the X (which was announced as 8,131 -- man, that's a lot of masochists!) obliged and I went, "Oh, God." But then he told one section to do it in slow-motion, and they began to sloooooowly get up, put their hands in the air, put them down, and sit down. And the entire arena did it when they were supposed to do it. No joke, the timing was impeccable.
And then the DJ told one section that once The Wave got to them, to speed it up. And they did that as well. This crowd was so smart and literate, they jumped up and down to spur The Wave on when they were supposed superbly. I was so impressed that I had to jump in and do The Wave, both slow and fast. I have never seen that before, although I guess it wouldn't be too much of a leap to attempt that. But I was impressed, nonetheless.
So I have to give the DJ credit for coming up with that. I also have to compliment the DJ because I think he was entertaining the fans in order to divert their attention away from the piss-poor showing that their team was putting out on the field. The Smarm lost to Calgary 10-6, and it wasn't that close because they were blanked 4-0 in the second quarter and trailed 7-1 at the half. It got so bad that in the second starting Goalie Zach Higgins was replaced by sub Brodie MacDonald. MacDonald did OK; he certainly was not worse than Higgins. But inexplicably, before the period was over, Higgins came back in. Why?
That is one of many on-field questions I have about this team. They are going to miss the playoffs again, and there is a good chance that they'll be the worst team in the National Lacrosse League for the second year in a row. They recently jettisoned most of their veterans in order to bring in younger players and draft picks again. At what point are they going to stick with the players they accumulated and try to trot out a professional team? Or are they running this organization on the cheap?
I have to believe that this franchise is not making any money, or not enough that they can be successful in the box office with a good team. All the signs point not necessarily to parsimony, but belt-tightening. But you can't cut your way to success, as the past two years attest. So what the hell are the owners, John and Andy Arlotta, doing?
They host Edmonton Saturday night. I'll be in the vicinity, but not to watch the game. I'll be next door, at the Roy Wilkins Auditorium, to see the Minnesota RollerGirls take on Chicago.
Wednesday, April 22, 2015
And Idle Cock Is The Devil's Workshop, Bankruptcy Be Damned
This afternoon, for the second time in as many weeks, I am going to the apartment of a woman who is rapidly becoming my new ATF, ***a*, to get a blowjob. She's in her forties and may or may not have mental health issues. But she is nice, she puts out (without a condom, no less) and she gives good value. She'll suck my dick for $120. I mean, you can't beat that price!
Of course, that's $240 over the past two weeks. Throw in the $160 for getting a blowjob from ****e* prior to that, and it still adds up.
You want to know how pathetic it's getting? Whenever I take money out of the ATM, I have stopped looking at the balance remaining in my checking account. I make it a point not to look at the total on the screen, and when I get my receipt, I quickly fold it up before my eyes can locate the new total. I am avoiding looking at how much money I have left because it'll remind me of how much money I'm spending, and I don't want to stop myself from getting sexytime.
For the past several months I have also avoided looking at the amount of charges I've run up on my credit card when I go online to pay my bill. I know it's huge, I just don't want to see how big of a hole it's going to blow in my kitty. I just pay it, all of it, on time. Well, maybe not this month, with the unexpected charges for getting my car fixed. Nevertheless, I think putting my hand up over the total amount due will be something I will do from now on. Like I said, pathetic.
I constantly pity myself over taking one step forward and then one step back, money-wise. Of course I know the reason: Strip clubs, eating out, car repairs. I would like to get off of the cycle, but I can't break free of these three expenses. I heap all my anger on the third thing, even though the biggest of the three (although they really are all equal) is the second thing; I should cut down on that. The first thing? Man, if people knew about it, they'd yell at me to stop. But of all the things, no, I will not give up going to strip clubs, or throwing money at strippers, or going to their houses and getting blowjobs. I'll give up a car and eating out before I give that up, by God.
Of course, that's $240 over the past two weeks. Throw in the $160 for getting a blowjob from ****e* prior to that, and it still adds up.
You want to know how pathetic it's getting? Whenever I take money out of the ATM, I have stopped looking at the balance remaining in my checking account. I make it a point not to look at the total on the screen, and when I get my receipt, I quickly fold it up before my eyes can locate the new total. I am avoiding looking at how much money I have left because it'll remind me of how much money I'm spending, and I don't want to stop myself from getting sexytime.
For the past several months I have also avoided looking at the amount of charges I've run up on my credit card when I go online to pay my bill. I know it's huge, I just don't want to see how big of a hole it's going to blow in my kitty. I just pay it, all of it, on time. Well, maybe not this month, with the unexpected charges for getting my car fixed. Nevertheless, I think putting my hand up over the total amount due will be something I will do from now on. Like I said, pathetic.
I constantly pity myself over taking one step forward and then one step back, money-wise. Of course I know the reason: Strip clubs, eating out, car repairs. I would like to get off of the cycle, but I can't break free of these three expenses. I heap all my anger on the third thing, even though the biggest of the three (although they really are all equal) is the second thing; I should cut down on that. The first thing? Man, if people knew about it, they'd yell at me to stop. But of all the things, no, I will not give up going to strip clubs, or throwing money at strippers, or going to their houses and getting blowjobs. I'll give up a car and eating out before I give that up, by God.
Tuesday, April 21, 2015
You Know What? The Dick At The Gas Station Is A Dick
OK, so past month or so I've stopped at the gas station on my way to work to gas up on Tuesdays, which are Discount Tuesdays. So, like other hardworking Americans, I'm in a rush. I don't think that means that the guy at the other side of the counter has to be a dick. He knows all of us are just stopping in real quick on our way to work, so why can't he just be polite and courteous with the 30-second conversation we have while I pay for my gasoline?
But I don't. This fat dude with a mustache and 80s hair threw my credit card and receipt on the counter instead of handing it to me. The nerve! How much effort does it take to be a decent Midwestern human being and hand those things over to me? What the fuck is this, New York?
So when I had to fill up today and saw him, I had low expectations that our interaction was going to be civil. There was another line for a cash register, and I was hoping I would get her, but I got this guy instead. I couldn't get out of it, obviously, so I was just going to be as curt as possible and get out of his toxic tentacles ASAP. I quickly gave him my pump number and showed him my identification after he saw that the back of my credit card said "See I.D."
Looking back, I was surprised that he took the proper discount out of the gas coupon I had for Discount Tuesday. Don't know why; my problem with him isn't that he is stupid, but he is an asshole. But I felt my soul kind of open up. I felt like I was in an emotional shell, and I guess I took him hitting the "20-cent off" button the cash register as a sign of personal warmth or something, because I think I said something to the effect of, "Oh! So you're not an asshole! Cool!"
And just as my attitude started to lighten, I guess what amounted to a regular came through the door, and as soon as this guy saw him, he paid attention to him and started ignoring me. So my hearty "Thanks!" as he handed me my receipt wasn't even fucking acknowledged because, even though he was facing me, he was talking to this dude who was being helped by the cash register down the counter. And once again, I left humiliated by this dumb motherfucker.
The worst thing about this piece of shit is that he is either the manager or the guy who owns the franchise. His dumb, fat mug is on the door, for crissake. So if I go in to fill up my car in the morning to the afternoon, I'm going to have to face this execrable mass.
I think I'll have to gas up either some other time or some other place.
But I don't. This fat dude with a mustache and 80s hair threw my credit card and receipt on the counter instead of handing it to me. The nerve! How much effort does it take to be a decent Midwestern human being and hand those things over to me? What the fuck is this, New York?
So when I had to fill up today and saw him, I had low expectations that our interaction was going to be civil. There was another line for a cash register, and I was hoping I would get her, but I got this guy instead. I couldn't get out of it, obviously, so I was just going to be as curt as possible and get out of his toxic tentacles ASAP. I quickly gave him my pump number and showed him my identification after he saw that the back of my credit card said "See I.D."
Looking back, I was surprised that he took the proper discount out of the gas coupon I had for Discount Tuesday. Don't know why; my problem with him isn't that he is stupid, but he is an asshole. But I felt my soul kind of open up. I felt like I was in an emotional shell, and I guess I took him hitting the "20-cent off" button the cash register as a sign of personal warmth or something, because I think I said something to the effect of, "Oh! So you're not an asshole! Cool!"
And just as my attitude started to lighten, I guess what amounted to a regular came through the door, and as soon as this guy saw him, he paid attention to him and started ignoring me. So my hearty "Thanks!" as he handed me my receipt wasn't even fucking acknowledged because, even though he was facing me, he was talking to this dude who was being helped by the cash register down the counter. And once again, I left humiliated by this dumb motherfucker.
The worst thing about this piece of shit is that he is either the manager or the guy who owns the franchise. His dumb, fat mug is on the door, for crissake. So if I go in to fill up my car in the morning to the afternoon, I'm going to have to face this execrable mass.
I think I'll have to gas up either some other time or some other place.
Monday, April 20, 2015
Screwing Things Up Food-Wise Lately (ETA: Well, Maybe Not Lately, More Like A Few Weeks Ago)
One Saturday a few weeks ago I had overtime at the test scoring place, and since my parents usually don't make me breakfast, I took that as an opportunity to drive in early, stop by the nearby McDonald's, and order breakfast for the first time in a long time. Mickey D's apparently is going to extend breakfast to all hours of the day (starting in San Diego on -- and you've got to believe that I did not know this before I began this blog post, which I've been sitting on for a while now -- today, which just happens to be 4/20!) in a fairly desperate attempt to stanch their financial losses because, at least according to some people, their breakfast remains wildly popular compared to their non-breakfast menu, and that spurred me on to having breakfast there. That may not make sense to you. It barely makes sense to me. But that's my reason.
Anyway, I tried my best to leave early enough to eat at McDonald's without feeling rushed on my way into work. But I spaced out on the drive there and took the wrong highway. That meant I needed to use a side street to get to the test scoring place. That may not have made a difference in time if this was morning rush hour. But since it was the weekend, hell yeah it would've been faster if I stayed on the highway like I usually did. I guess I harkened back to the days when my brother and I was forced to help out my parents at The Store on Saturdays when I drove the highways that led to The Store when we were young. Yeah, I miss those times. I miss The Store.
Maybe it wouldn't have made that big of a difference. I may have lost at most five minutes. But because I was late and didn't want to risk other delays making me even more late for work, I decided I had to take it with me. I wanted some coffee, but I wanted to get a cappuccino at -- don't mock me, please -- the gas station. They allow me to fill it up as much as I want, but I was going to drive with it, I didn't want it to spill, so I was going to fill it up only two-thirds of the way. If I was going to get it at McDonald's I would have had to go to my car with it all filled because I didn't have time to wait for it to cool down.
Unfortunately, by the time I got to work the breakfast had cooled down. And I got there just at 9 o'clock, so I was working and eating at the same time. Therefore, I was eating lukewarm/cool food that I had to let sit and allow to get even cooler because I was working. And -- again, this may only apply to me -- I just dove into my McDonald's, which was sausage, eggs and a biscuit without opening the bag wherein they provided napkins and utensils and overlooked the fact they also put in those small pockets of butter and jam. That would've gone perfect with the (room temperature) biscuit had not scarfed it down while grading papers. So I used my knife and scooped them out to eat separately.
All in all, a frustrating eating experience. Thought I'd share that.
Anyway, I tried my best to leave early enough to eat at McDonald's without feeling rushed on my way into work. But I spaced out on the drive there and took the wrong highway. That meant I needed to use a side street to get to the test scoring place. That may not have made a difference in time if this was morning rush hour. But since it was the weekend, hell yeah it would've been faster if I stayed on the highway like I usually did. I guess I harkened back to the days when my brother and I was forced to help out my parents at The Store on Saturdays when I drove the highways that led to The Store when we were young. Yeah, I miss those times. I miss The Store.
Maybe it wouldn't have made that big of a difference. I may have lost at most five minutes. But because I was late and didn't want to risk other delays making me even more late for work, I decided I had to take it with me. I wanted some coffee, but I wanted to get a cappuccino at -- don't mock me, please -- the gas station. They allow me to fill it up as much as I want, but I was going to drive with it, I didn't want it to spill, so I was going to fill it up only two-thirds of the way. If I was going to get it at McDonald's I would have had to go to my car with it all filled because I didn't have time to wait for it to cool down.
Unfortunately, by the time I got to work the breakfast had cooled down. And I got there just at 9 o'clock, so I was working and eating at the same time. Therefore, I was eating lukewarm/cool food that I had to let sit and allow to get even cooler because I was working. And -- again, this may only apply to me -- I just dove into my McDonald's, which was sausage, eggs and a biscuit without opening the bag wherein they provided napkins and utensils and overlooked the fact they also put in those small pockets of butter and jam. That would've gone perfect with the (room temperature) biscuit had not scarfed it down while grading papers. So I used my knife and scooped them out to eat separately.
All in all, a frustrating eating experience. Thought I'd share that.
Sunday, April 19, 2015
Back On The Dole, Back To Hiding
My boss' announcement surprised me, although he gave intimations earlier in the week. This test scoring place has never, in my employment with them, grossly overestimated the length of time we would be on a project. But on Wednesday he gave indications that we were making very good time in getting this job done. And then, on Friday, in the middle of a pretty shitty day, he dropped the bomb: It looks like we will be done on Monday.
That is earlier than even my basest estimation on when we'd be done, by a day. At first that really burned me, but then I realized I had done the math wrong. If we began on Wednesday and we were given until this Friday to get done, that would be eight working days. Divide that by two and that's only four days, and four days takes us to ... 1, 2, 3, the weekend, 4 ... Monday, not Tuesday. So, in that sense, I kind of get that -- although, I will have to repeat, this wild inaccuracy when it comes to working is something I have come to expect from the other test scoring place I work at.
So, this week I will be working on Monday and then will have idle hands for the rest of the week ... although on Wednesday I go back to the other test scoring place and begin the night project. So I have a multitude of things I need to work on. First of all, I need to set up an itinerary for the rest of the week. I have asked one of my new ATFs, ***a*, for some sexy time this week, which will be the second time in as many weeks I've come over to her place and slept with her. Therefore, my schedule right now looks like this:
I have no idea if they have added two and two together, but they must have. They just haven't hammered me on it, at least not yet. But when I report that I made too much money last week, thereby triggering a "no money" letter, might raise even more suspicions, according to my parents. And maybe, possibly, working nights for at least the next week-and-a-half may be the last straw.
I need the unemployment checks, but I don't know how to hide what I'm really doing from them. Oh well, I guess?
That is earlier than even my basest estimation on when we'd be done, by a day. At first that really burned me, but then I realized I had done the math wrong. If we began on Wednesday and we were given until this Friday to get done, that would be eight working days. Divide that by two and that's only four days, and four days takes us to ... 1, 2, 3, the weekend, 4 ... Monday, not Tuesday. So, in that sense, I kind of get that -- although, I will have to repeat, this wild inaccuracy when it comes to working is something I have come to expect from the other test scoring place I work at.
So, this week I will be working on Monday and then will have idle hands for the rest of the week ... although on Wednesday I go back to the other test scoring place and begin the night project. So I have a multitude of things I need to work on. First of all, I need to set up an itinerary for the rest of the week. I have asked one of my new ATFs, ***a*, for some sexy time this week, which will be the second time in as many weeks I've come over to her place and slept with her. Therefore, my schedule right now looks like this:
- Tuesday: Coffee, movie (if I'm being given another Tuesday off, I finally have to go to a movie on Discount Tuesday), maybe work out
- Wednesday: Coffee, see ***a*, go to the first test scoring place to get my creamer, then go to the other test scoring place to begin work
- Thursday: Starbucks, the shrink, Hooters MOA, library, work
- Friday: Hopefully get my wing extensions put in my insoles, maybe go to the museum and catch the Hapsburg show at MIA, then work
I have no idea if they have added two and two together, but they must have. They just haven't hammered me on it, at least not yet. But when I report that I made too much money last week, thereby triggering a "no money" letter, might raise even more suspicions, according to my parents. And maybe, possibly, working nights for at least the next week-and-a-half may be the last straw.
I need the unemployment checks, but I don't know how to hide what I'm really doing from them. Oh well, I guess?
Saturday, April 18, 2015
Poor Bastard Of The Moment: Adam Federici
Man, I don't think I did Poor Bastard Of The Moment posts in at least two years, and now I've done two in a week. I don't think I've ever done those blog posts so frequently ever.
In the second time in as many Saturdays, a goalkeeper muffed a save in a very important game. Last week it was Boston University men's ice hockey goalie Matt O'Connor dropping a clearing lob through his legs and into the net that led to a tie in the Frozen Four final, a game won by Providence. This week, just now in fact, it is Reading FC Keeper Adam Federici doing just about the same thing.
The competition is the FA Cup semifinals, the March Madness-style British soccer competition that throws teams from all levels, from the Premier League all the way down to amateur clubs (I think I just read that there are over 750 teams that play), into a bracket. You play one game against an opponent blindly drawn. Win and advance. No team from the top-flight has won the cup (at least not in the past two centuries), but I have been told that more people should be more interested in the FA Cup than the English Premier League powerhouse matchup between Chelsea and Manchester United (won by Chelsea 1-0), probably because of a mix of tradition and the David-slaying-Goliath aspect of the tournament.
Reading is a second-flight team. They were playing Arsenal, which, if you don't know, is currently second in the EPL. And they scored first in today's semifinal. Yet Reading was able to tie in the second half to send it to Extra Time. Unfortunately for Reading, Federici allowed Alexis Sanchez's try on goal to nutmeg him (special record-keeping note: This is the first time in Wailing And Failing history that I am embedding a Vine; ooh, I can't wait!):
And Federici's howler is worse than O'Connor's. At least O'Connor only coughed up a tie; the Terriers still had a chance to win after that. Even though it's soccer and it's not sudden death, well, it's soccer; Federici allowed what stood as the game-winning goal, allowing Arsenal to advance and defend their FA Cup win from last year. And Reading's dream of being FA Cup champs went through their Goalie's legs.
Poor bastard.
In the second time in as many Saturdays, a goalkeeper muffed a save in a very important game. Last week it was Boston University men's ice hockey goalie Matt O'Connor dropping a clearing lob through his legs and into the net that led to a tie in the Frozen Four final, a game won by Providence. This week, just now in fact, it is Reading FC Keeper Adam Federici doing just about the same thing.
The competition is the FA Cup semifinals, the March Madness-style British soccer competition that throws teams from all levels, from the Premier League all the way down to amateur clubs (I think I just read that there are over 750 teams that play), into a bracket. You play one game against an opponent blindly drawn. Win and advance. No team from the top-flight has won the cup (at least not in the past two centuries), but I have been told that more people should be more interested in the FA Cup than the English Premier League powerhouse matchup between Chelsea and Manchester United (won by Chelsea 1-0), probably because of a mix of tradition and the David-slaying-Goliath aspect of the tournament.
Reading is a second-flight team. They were playing Arsenal, which, if you don't know, is currently second in the EPL. And they scored first in today's semifinal. Yet Reading was able to tie in the second half to send it to Extra Time. Unfortunately for Reading, Federici allowed Alexis Sanchez's try on goal to nutmeg him (special record-keeping note: This is the first time in Wailing And Failing history that I am embedding a Vine; ooh, I can't wait!):
And Federici's howler is worse than O'Connor's. At least O'Connor only coughed up a tie; the Terriers still had a chance to win after that. Even though it's soccer and it's not sudden death, well, it's soccer; Federici allowed what stood as the game-winning goal, allowing Arsenal to advance and defend their FA Cup win from last year. And Reading's dream of being FA Cup champs went through their Goalie's legs.
Poor bastard.
Friday, April 17, 2015
Oh, The Invoices ...
OK, so early this week my sister told me that she has ordered some things that they want us -- specifically Mother and I -- to send to her overseas. When shipping something overseas, there are a bunch of things that have to go with it, specifically forms that are stuck on the box and invoices explaining the contents stuffed in it.
I was lucky to see my sister tell me about these new contents that needed to be sent to her when I was checking my e-mail at the library. There, I was able to print out these invoices and, in something I was not aware of, scratch out the prices. For once, I was proactive and in fact surprised Mother when I came home and she told me about my sister's bounty.
My sister later told us that she wanted Mother to fill out the forms that the United States Post Office wants stuck on the box. I was going to give these edited invoices to Mother so she could stash those invoices, fill out the forms and ship it herself. But Mother insisted I do it; she had to take Father to the doctor on Thursday, she didn't know when in the evening she would be coming back, she was going to send it Friday morning and, I saw later, on a previous shipment my sister wanted Mother to send her I was indeed the one that filled out the forms. I kind of threw a fit, but I decided to do it. It was Wednesday, by the way.
Just to get back at her, I waited to do the form until Thursday evening, and I also decided to leave Thursday evening to cash in on a free hydro massage for Tax Day from Planet Fitness and then work on the Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey (and some alumni club stuff) at a coffeehouse. Told my folks that I had to meet someone, though. When I came back, it was Father who wanted to know whether or not I have everything together. I did; like my parents saw when they came back (and just before I left for the evening), I had filled everything out and set everything on the dining room table.
So I'm at work today, and at break I turn my phone on. I look and there is a text from both of my parental units as well as a voicemail from Mother. I call her back because on the VM she said it was an "emergency." When she gets fuckin' panicked, it's always an emergency.
Whatever. I call her. Mother goes, "Where are the invoices?"
"But I filled them out for you and gave them to Father!" I said. And then, oh, wait ... I totally forgot about the invoices. See, I was so stuck when Mother sandbagged me with the forms that my only thought was to do the forms. At that point, the forms were the only papers my sister needed. So I totally vanquished the invoices (which, you may remember, I proactively printed out of my own volition) out of my consciousness. Forms, invoices -- they're all papers! I had done the papers, and I forgot that there were other papers!
So I took more minutes from scoring papers than I should have to resolve the issue. Eventually I had to turn on the 3G on my smartphone (and thus pay extra for this month) to forward my parents' e-mail the invoices and these revised prices that need to be put on the invoices that Mother had to print from the library during the day.
Father told me (for the first time in a long time I went to him instead of Mother) and he said they sent the package, just a couple hours later than she expected to. I assume she got the revised prices I forwarded her, and that everything is hunky-dory. So, I guess everything was fixed. What was not fixed, and still may not be fixed, is whether or not Mother is pissed at me. She ended my phone call to her when I told her she had to cross off the old prices and write new ones in. But, she did not give me the silent treatment when they came home today (which, surprisingly, was after me; they were babysitting my niece -- have I blogged about my niece yet?), and when I asked her a couple questions she answered me. Nevertheless, the thought of her being very pissed at me, specifically for reminding me to assemble all the papers together when I in fact did not, bothered the rest of my work day to the point where I could not concentrate. The thought of her being so mad at me that I would come back tonight with all my stuff at the foot of her driveway (and even though all my stuff is here, I still won't put that past her, someday) significantly damaged my production. It was not a good day, even if my worst fears were not realized. And frankly, I still have to be on my guard, because I think she is going to tuck this in her memory bank in order to ruin a future day soon.
I was lucky to see my sister tell me about these new contents that needed to be sent to her when I was checking my e-mail at the library. There, I was able to print out these invoices and, in something I was not aware of, scratch out the prices. For once, I was proactive and in fact surprised Mother when I came home and she told me about my sister's bounty.
My sister later told us that she wanted Mother to fill out the forms that the United States Post Office wants stuck on the box. I was going to give these edited invoices to Mother so she could stash those invoices, fill out the forms and ship it herself. But Mother insisted I do it; she had to take Father to the doctor on Thursday, she didn't know when in the evening she would be coming back, she was going to send it Friday morning and, I saw later, on a previous shipment my sister wanted Mother to send her I was indeed the one that filled out the forms. I kind of threw a fit, but I decided to do it. It was Wednesday, by the way.
Just to get back at her, I waited to do the form until Thursday evening, and I also decided to leave Thursday evening to cash in on a free hydro massage for Tax Day from Planet Fitness and then work on the Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey (and some alumni club stuff) at a coffeehouse. Told my folks that I had to meet someone, though. When I came back, it was Father who wanted to know whether or not I have everything together. I did; like my parents saw when they came back (and just before I left for the evening), I had filled everything out and set everything on the dining room table.
So I'm at work today, and at break I turn my phone on. I look and there is a text from both of my parental units as well as a voicemail from Mother. I call her back because on the VM she said it was an "emergency." When she gets fuckin' panicked, it's always an emergency.
Whatever. I call her. Mother goes, "Where are the invoices?"
"But I filled them out for you and gave them to Father!" I said. And then, oh, wait ... I totally forgot about the invoices. See, I was so stuck when Mother sandbagged me with the forms that my only thought was to do the forms. At that point, the forms were the only papers my sister needed. So I totally vanquished the invoices (which, you may remember, I proactively printed out of my own volition) out of my consciousness. Forms, invoices -- they're all papers! I had done the papers, and I forgot that there were other papers!
So I took more minutes from scoring papers than I should have to resolve the issue. Eventually I had to turn on the 3G on my smartphone (and thus pay extra for this month) to forward my parents' e-mail the invoices and these revised prices that need to be put on the invoices that Mother had to print from the library during the day.
Father told me (for the first time in a long time I went to him instead of Mother) and he said they sent the package, just a couple hours later than she expected to. I assume she got the revised prices I forwarded her, and that everything is hunky-dory. So, I guess everything was fixed. What was not fixed, and still may not be fixed, is whether or not Mother is pissed at me. She ended my phone call to her when I told her she had to cross off the old prices and write new ones in. But, she did not give me the silent treatment when they came home today (which, surprisingly, was after me; they were babysitting my niece -- have I blogged about my niece yet?), and when I asked her a couple questions she answered me. Nevertheless, the thought of her being very pissed at me, specifically for reminding me to assemble all the papers together when I in fact did not, bothered the rest of my work day to the point where I could not concentrate. The thought of her being so mad at me that I would come back tonight with all my stuff at the foot of her driveway (and even though all my stuff is here, I still won't put that past her, someday) significantly damaged my production. It was not a good day, even if my worst fears were not realized. And frankly, I still have to be on my guard, because I think she is going to tuck this in her memory bank in order to ruin a future day soon.
Thursday, April 16, 2015
The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey
Positive Numbers: Gopher softball (Last Week: -4). Since I only have less than 3 1/2 hours to do this, I went into it not thinking much about which local team to put on top. But then I have two teams standing out far above the rest, and I could not decide immediately which one gets the birddog seat. So I have had to spend a lot of time -- OK, more like two minutes -- to actually think which is the tops.
In the end I made the best compromise I could. The Wild get to escape negative numbers as they begin the Stanley Cup Playoffs which arguably the best assemblage of players in Wild history. I risk the team not being recognized for basically rising from the dead to get a playoff spot with the top spot in the WMNSS, and by this time next week they very well could be eliminated.
However, I could not ignore how well the University of Minnesota softball team did in the four games they played this screening week. They hosted and then summarily spanked Northwestern, the team that once led the Big Ten with an undefeated conference record in three games by a combined score of 31-7, thus exposing the Wildcats for the cupcake-soft schedule they had up to that point. (The pollsters could see right through Northwestern; they weren't ranked despite what appeared on paper to be a lofty record.) The last two games were mercy-ruled after five innings. And Gophers ace Sara Groenewegen notched the second no-hitter of her career Sunday, striking out a dozen as the U. blanked the 'Cats 11-0 in five. Sure, no-hitters are much more common in softball than they are in baseball, but I still believe what Groenewegen did was spectacular.
I was at Saturday's game, where Northwestern scored once in both the second and third innings. I had bad feelings that the Gophers would get impotent like they did Easter against Michigan. But then they exploded for eight runs in the fourth inning. And Tyler Walker's RBI single to right field gave Minnesota the last of the two runs needed to reach the eight-run threshold to invoke the run/slaughter/skunk rule. It was also, by the way, the 100th victory for the Golden Gophers at Jane Sage Cowles Stadium.
Kudos to Danielle Parlich, by the way, for being named Conference Freshman Of The Week for the third time this season and a finalist for Freshman Of The Year.
So, after finishing up a seven-game homestand with an 8-2 win over South Dakota on Tax Day, the Gophers, still knocking on the Top 10 of the polls, go to Michigan St. for a quick three-game series.
#0: Wild (Last Week: -1). OK, so they cooled off at the end there. They followed up a nice road win against slumping Nashville by resting some of their guys and losing the regular season finale in St. Louis, ending their franchise-record winning streak on the road at ... a dozen?
But they are in, a few months after they looked like they're dead in the water. And so they start the Stanley Cup Playoffs against ... the Central Division-winning St. Louis Blues, the team they just ended their series against. There seems to be a consensus that, at least, this is a matchup featuring two teams that are too strong to be facing each other this early. There is some heat for both teams to reach the Stanley Cup Finals, let alone lifting the Cup. Advanced metrics also provide evidence that Minnesota should be considered a favorite to win it all, in particular their league-best penalty kill and their success in scoring five-on-five.
Nevertheless, prognostication is a tricky business, and so the writers are all over the place. Of the 13 "experts" ESPN has on staff, all but one predict St. Louis will win the series. However, the one holdout, Sarah Goldstein, actually thinks the Wild will beat the Rangers and win Lord Stanley's Cup. Somewhat conversely (and perversely), all four NHL writers for Sports Illustrated (only four? Times really are tough for print) have Minnesota beating St. Louis (even though only one, Sam Page, has them reaching the Finals, where he thinks they will lost to Tampa Bay).
Guess we'll see. As of press time things are looking good; Jason Zucker opened scoring with the lone tally so far, 1-0 Wild in the first intermission.
#-1: Twins (Last Week: -6). Well, after starting the season by getting swept in Detroit, losing two-of-three at the White Sox (at least they won the Pale Hose's home opener by blanking them 6-0, thereby assuring that they won't go through the season winless) and beginning their home slate by getting dick-smacked by American League pennant-winners Kansas City, I was ready to bury the starting pitching, the relief pitching (blech), the starting lineup, the coaching staff, the management, the ownership, and even the fans. But then, inexplicably, they have righted themselves by taking the series over the Royals by scores of 3-1 and 8-5 to get to 3-4 for the week. I'm not sure if this is a beginning of good things to come -- OK, it probably isn't. But you've got to think that the this team, this organization, is so close to rock bottom that they might as well hit rock bottom in order to rebound into something better. Maybe, just maybe, it is making these young players take their lumps and force them to sink or swim early in the season in the hopes that they'll be better, or less worse, by the end of the season. Guess that's the hope, isn't it?
This week: Home to Cleveland for three, then a visit to K.C. for a trio starting on Monday.
#-2: Gopher baseball (Last Week: -3). Lost two-of-three at Nebraska, then clobbered North Dakota St. at home, 13-5, Tuesday. And, my God, I have nothing else to say about these guys. I'm seriously; I got nuthin'. They're 13-19 overall and 3-9 in B1G play, and they're not going to the NCAA Tournament. And that's all I have.
Well, I can say that that victory against the Bison begins a 13-game homestand, payback for that long, Midwest weather-forced roadtrip they had to begin the year. This weekend they host three against Penn St. I want to see a game at Siebert Field, which is still plenty knew and really purty. But this weekend, I'm afraid, looks to be a washout, if the forecast is right. And although Friday's game begins at 6 and Siebert looks really nice at night, I don't think I can afford to be out at night without my parents getting really mad at me. So if I go, I'll have to go during the day, on the weekend, but not this one. Oh, after the Nittany Lions they host South Dakota St. Wednesday.
#-3: Swarm (Last Week: -2). Let's face it: The Smarm have sucked for the past few years. But I don't remember if the team has been eliminated so far from the end of the season like they were Saturday, when they lost to Buffalo 12-9. And the Bandits flashed out to a 5-0 lead ... and two of their best players, Callum Crawford and Jordan MacIntosh, didn't play in the second half due to injury.
So the team is out of the playoffs, again. And I don't know if I've said this on WAF, but Swarm games in-person are noisy, belligerent affairs. The music plays during play, the DJ incessantly exhorts the fans to make noise, and he can't fucking stick to one goddamn song for more than five seconds. So why in the hell am I thinking about going to their game Saturday against Calgary? Is it because of Kat Perkins, local singer who became a finalist on The Voice? Is it because I have yet to make my yearly trek to eat at Mickey's Diner? Who knows?
#-Infinity: Timberwolves (Last Week: -5). OK, so the Woofie Dogs finished off this execrable season with four more losses, thereby finishing their 2014-5 season with a twelve-game losing streak. Note that their last win of the season came on March 23. Also note that on the last game of the season, Oklahoma City, needing to win and the New Orleans Pelicans to lose (they didn't, so OKC is out of the playoffs while NO is in), they racked up 138 points, the most points this franchise has surrendered to a visiting team ever, to beat the Woofs by 25. And thus they finish with the worst record in the National Basketball Association. That fact is either notable for creating yet a new floor for this damned franchise or the most boring thing this shit organization has done, since I know this isn't the first time they've finished with the worst record in the NBA.
Yes, injuries basically killed this baby in the crib. But I am no longer sure that, even at full strength these guys would be any good. And in this very insightful league post-morten, Ben Golliver of SI.com gives the Timberwolves' season a D and convinces me that the problem may be, in fact, Flip Saunders. First of all, Golliver notes that Saunders actively disdains advanced metrics, which states (in its extreme, of course) that a basketball team should shoot either only corner threes or lay-ups and dunks around the rim ... or else. Saunders thinks that the mid-range jump shot is a valuable weapon, and even instructs Andrew Wiggins to limit his tries behind the arc. That old-school thinking may be thinking as dumb like a fox (tm Homer Simpson), but that should be backed up by results, and their shitty record kind of lends itself to the theory that his philosophy may be shit, too.
But Golliver warns that the Saunders may be further poisoning this franchise by his treatment of Wiggins, who of course is the brightest (and maybe only) bright spot for the Wolves this year. Golliver wonders why in the hell Wiggins played more than 3,000 minutes this year even though the team was out of the playoff race as soon as they began the season. I kind of believe it's best to throw a rookie into the fire and give him as much burn as possible to acclimate him to the game and force him to learn how to play and win, kind of what I am hoping the Twins are doing. But again, results matter, and it looks like Saunders has worn out a lot of tread to what is supposed to be this team's next superstar, and it only came out to a godawful 16-66 year.
In conclusion, he wonders what in the hell the Timberwolves are doing. After reading that, I am wondering the same thing. So how about this. Look at this article by The Business Journals. It's a sometimes-annual look at a metropolitan area's financial ability to sustain all its sports teams and an effort to see where the sports leagues could expand to next. Their methodology is centered on Total Personal Income, a populace's income, basically. That is measured against what the periodical believes is the amount of money required to support a team. They then add or subtract the city's TPI against the money needs of that city's sports (and major college) teams. Any city with a negative TPI is said, according to the paper, to suffer financial volatility in attempting to support all its sports.
According to Biz Journals' data, there are 20 markets running a TPI deficit. Minneapolis-St. Paul is fourth-worst, where it's estimated that the Vikings, Twins, Wild, Golden Gophers, Minnesota United (which, assuming they get a stadium deal done, is born in 2018), and Timberwolves combined need $97 billion more than the metro area can provide. So why not let the T-Wolves leave? Biz Journals estimates that an NBA team needs $45 billion in TPI for adequate support. So the Twin Cities could let this shit franchise walk and they would still need someone else to go, too. But we'd be halfway to sports solvency, and we'd kick out a team that makes Minnesota look bad in the process!
In the end I made the best compromise I could. The Wild get to escape negative numbers as they begin the Stanley Cup Playoffs which arguably the best assemblage of players in Wild history. I risk the team not being recognized for basically rising from the dead to get a playoff spot with the top spot in the WMNSS, and by this time next week they very well could be eliminated.
However, I could not ignore how well the University of Minnesota softball team did in the four games they played this screening week. They hosted and then summarily spanked Northwestern, the team that once led the Big Ten with an undefeated conference record in three games by a combined score of 31-7, thus exposing the Wildcats for the cupcake-soft schedule they had up to that point. (The pollsters could see right through Northwestern; they weren't ranked despite what appeared on paper to be a lofty record.) The last two games were mercy-ruled after five innings. And Gophers ace Sara Groenewegen notched the second no-hitter of her career Sunday, striking out a dozen as the U. blanked the 'Cats 11-0 in five. Sure, no-hitters are much more common in softball than they are in baseball, but I still believe what Groenewegen did was spectacular.
I was at Saturday's game, where Northwestern scored once in both the second and third innings. I had bad feelings that the Gophers would get impotent like they did Easter against Michigan. But then they exploded for eight runs in the fourth inning. And Tyler Walker's RBI single to right field gave Minnesota the last of the two runs needed to reach the eight-run threshold to invoke the run/slaughter/skunk rule. It was also, by the way, the 100th victory for the Golden Gophers at Jane Sage Cowles Stadium.
Kudos to Danielle Parlich, by the way, for being named Conference Freshman Of The Week for the third time this season and a finalist for Freshman Of The Year.
So, after finishing up a seven-game homestand with an 8-2 win over South Dakota on Tax Day, the Gophers, still knocking on the Top 10 of the polls, go to Michigan St. for a quick three-game series.
#0: Wild (Last Week: -1). OK, so they cooled off at the end there. They followed up a nice road win against slumping Nashville by resting some of their guys and losing the regular season finale in St. Louis, ending their franchise-record winning streak on the road at ... a dozen?
But they are in, a few months after they looked like they're dead in the water. And so they start the Stanley Cup Playoffs against ... the Central Division-winning St. Louis Blues, the team they just ended their series against. There seems to be a consensus that, at least, this is a matchup featuring two teams that are too strong to be facing each other this early. There is some heat for both teams to reach the Stanley Cup Finals, let alone lifting the Cup. Advanced metrics also provide evidence that Minnesota should be considered a favorite to win it all, in particular their league-best penalty kill and their success in scoring five-on-five.
Nevertheless, prognostication is a tricky business, and so the writers are all over the place. Of the 13 "experts" ESPN has on staff, all but one predict St. Louis will win the series. However, the one holdout, Sarah Goldstein, actually thinks the Wild will beat the Rangers and win Lord Stanley's Cup. Somewhat conversely (and perversely), all four NHL writers for Sports Illustrated (only four? Times really are tough for print) have Minnesota beating St. Louis (even though only one, Sam Page, has them reaching the Finals, where he thinks they will lost to Tampa Bay).
Guess we'll see. As of press time things are looking good; Jason Zucker opened scoring with the lone tally so far, 1-0 Wild in the first intermission.
#-1: Twins (Last Week: -6). Well, after starting the season by getting swept in Detroit, losing two-of-three at the White Sox (at least they won the Pale Hose's home opener by blanking them 6-0, thereby assuring that they won't go through the season winless) and beginning their home slate by getting dick-smacked by American League pennant-winners Kansas City, I was ready to bury the starting pitching, the relief pitching (blech), the starting lineup, the coaching staff, the management, the ownership, and even the fans. But then, inexplicably, they have righted themselves by taking the series over the Royals by scores of 3-1 and 8-5 to get to 3-4 for the week. I'm not sure if this is a beginning of good things to come -- OK, it probably isn't. But you've got to think that the this team, this organization, is so close to rock bottom that they might as well hit rock bottom in order to rebound into something better. Maybe, just maybe, it is making these young players take their lumps and force them to sink or swim early in the season in the hopes that they'll be better, or less worse, by the end of the season. Guess that's the hope, isn't it?
This week: Home to Cleveland for three, then a visit to K.C. for a trio starting on Monday.
#-2: Gopher baseball (Last Week: -3). Lost two-of-three at Nebraska, then clobbered North Dakota St. at home, 13-5, Tuesday. And, my God, I have nothing else to say about these guys. I'm seriously; I got nuthin'. They're 13-19 overall and 3-9 in B1G play, and they're not going to the NCAA Tournament. And that's all I have.
Well, I can say that that victory against the Bison begins a 13-game homestand, payback for that long, Midwest weather-forced roadtrip they had to begin the year. This weekend they host three against Penn St. I want to see a game at Siebert Field, which is still plenty knew and really purty. But this weekend, I'm afraid, looks to be a washout, if the forecast is right. And although Friday's game begins at 6 and Siebert looks really nice at night, I don't think I can afford to be out at night without my parents getting really mad at me. So if I go, I'll have to go during the day, on the weekend, but not this one. Oh, after the Nittany Lions they host South Dakota St. Wednesday.
#-3: Swarm (Last Week: -2). Let's face it: The Smarm have sucked for the past few years. But I don't remember if the team has been eliminated so far from the end of the season like they were Saturday, when they lost to Buffalo 12-9. And the Bandits flashed out to a 5-0 lead ... and two of their best players, Callum Crawford and Jordan MacIntosh, didn't play in the second half due to injury.
So the team is out of the playoffs, again. And I don't know if I've said this on WAF, but Swarm games in-person are noisy, belligerent affairs. The music plays during play, the DJ incessantly exhorts the fans to make noise, and he can't fucking stick to one goddamn song for more than five seconds. So why in the hell am I thinking about going to their game Saturday against Calgary? Is it because of Kat Perkins, local singer who became a finalist on The Voice? Is it because I have yet to make my yearly trek to eat at Mickey's Diner? Who knows?
#-Infinity: Timberwolves (Last Week: -5). OK, so the Woofie Dogs finished off this execrable season with four more losses, thereby finishing their 2014-5 season with a twelve-game losing streak. Note that their last win of the season came on March 23. Also note that on the last game of the season, Oklahoma City, needing to win and the New Orleans Pelicans to lose (they didn't, so OKC is out of the playoffs while NO is in), they racked up 138 points, the most points this franchise has surrendered to a visiting team ever, to beat the Woofs by 25. And thus they finish with the worst record in the National Basketball Association. That fact is either notable for creating yet a new floor for this damned franchise or the most boring thing this shit organization has done, since I know this isn't the first time they've finished with the worst record in the NBA.
Yes, injuries basically killed this baby in the crib. But I am no longer sure that, even at full strength these guys would be any good. And in this very insightful league post-morten, Ben Golliver of SI.com gives the Timberwolves' season a D and convinces me that the problem may be, in fact, Flip Saunders. First of all, Golliver notes that Saunders actively disdains advanced metrics, which states (in its extreme, of course) that a basketball team should shoot either only corner threes or lay-ups and dunks around the rim ... or else. Saunders thinks that the mid-range jump shot is a valuable weapon, and even instructs Andrew Wiggins to limit his tries behind the arc. That old-school thinking may be thinking as dumb like a fox (tm Homer Simpson), but that should be backed up by results, and their shitty record kind of lends itself to the theory that his philosophy may be shit, too.
But Golliver warns that the Saunders may be further poisoning this franchise by his treatment of Wiggins, who of course is the brightest (and maybe only) bright spot for the Wolves this year. Golliver wonders why in the hell Wiggins played more than 3,000 minutes this year even though the team was out of the playoff race as soon as they began the season. I kind of believe it's best to throw a rookie into the fire and give him as much burn as possible to acclimate him to the game and force him to learn how to play and win, kind of what I am hoping the Twins are doing. But again, results matter, and it looks like Saunders has worn out a lot of tread to what is supposed to be this team's next superstar, and it only came out to a godawful 16-66 year.
In conclusion, he wonders what in the hell the Timberwolves are doing. After reading that, I am wondering the same thing. So how about this. Look at this article by The Business Journals. It's a sometimes-annual look at a metropolitan area's financial ability to sustain all its sports teams and an effort to see where the sports leagues could expand to next. Their methodology is centered on Total Personal Income, a populace's income, basically. That is measured against what the periodical believes is the amount of money required to support a team. They then add or subtract the city's TPI against the money needs of that city's sports (and major college) teams. Any city with a negative TPI is said, according to the paper, to suffer financial volatility in attempting to support all its sports.
According to Biz Journals' data, there are 20 markets running a TPI deficit. Minneapolis-St. Paul is fourth-worst, where it's estimated that the Vikings, Twins, Wild, Golden Gophers, Minnesota United (which, assuming they get a stadium deal done, is born in 2018), and Timberwolves combined need $97 billion more than the metro area can provide. So why not let the T-Wolves leave? Biz Journals estimates that an NBA team needs $45 billion in TPI for adequate support. So the Twin Cities could let this shit franchise walk and they would still need someone else to go, too. But we'd be halfway to sports solvency, and we'd kick out a team that makes Minnesota look bad in the process!
Wednesday, April 15, 2015
First Thoughts On New Project, Traffic
OK, so this is the first day of my new project. This project is at a place where I used to work at the same project four years running. But I got wind earlier in the year that that project is long gone. Shame; I liked the structure and my bosses, and it was stable.
At least these guys like me enough to bring me onto a different project, or projects. It's basically the same thing: You get trained on how to answer a question, and then you answer them. I was just afraid that the people I'll be working with and for will be dicks. Through one day, they aren't.
Unfortunately I've been reintroduced to the vagaries of test scoring projects. What I had with the previous one was a somewhat concrete certainty that we would end, at most, a couple days before our projected end date. That disappeared last year, thank goodness, when my position meant I came in earlier for the project, stayed later for the project, and worked more hours (at a hire rate of pay, natch). The project I'm working on now is a much different beast. It's a lower grade, therefore the papers are easier to go through. Problem is we're going a little too fast for my liking. The projected end date is the end of next week. And already the boss of our room says that we're working at such a good clip that we will be done ahead of time.
How far ahead? The other test scoring place is much ... worse at projecting end dates. With the exception of the one I did a month ago, where we actually went to the original projected end date, nearly every single project I've done with that company has ended much earlier. In fact (and I may have stated this already on Wailing And Failing) I have a rule whereby I look at the end date they predict, count the days devoted to the project, and cut it in half (and round up if I wind up with a half-day). That is the length of time I know I'll be working; everything else is gravy.
Even though this is the other test scoring place, it looks like I'll have to apply that rule of thumb. Therefore, that means we'll be done Tuesday. That gives me Wednesday, Thursday and Friday to return to the place where I got my new insoles so I could get the extensions to the insoles (didn't know there was such a thing), get new repairs for my car in case they need them, and maybe even have a little sexytime. The tradeoff for the free time, of course, is no work. So I'll be back on the dole for a week, it looks like.
---
The overarching problem with work, however, is the traffic. Hoo-boy, did it suck today.
I'll be honest about this: I have to drive down 100 to get to work. It was overhauled about a decade (?) ago, when it actually had traffic lights despite the fact so many people drove up and down it that it had the use of a highway. When it opened, it was finally as big and busy as it's supposed to be, and it was so good to drive it.
It still is, but the renovation isn't complete. Starting about a month ago, parts of 100 will be shut down over, I think, the next six months. In particular, they need to finally get rid of this very old bridge that looks like an eyesore which could fall down at any time. Because of that and other projects, parts of 100 are shut down. And that creates a damn traffic nightmare.
I tested driving it around the time I have to drive to work on Monday, two days before I started work today. It took me 45 minutes when, if I recall correctly, it only took me a half-hour (usually) to get to work last year, when it wasn't under construction. So I thought leaving an hour earlier, especially for my first day, would be more than enough.
But I'll be goddamned if it took me a whole fucking hour -- maybe 61 minutes to be precise -- to get to work today. My God, that is fucking bullshit. Highway 100 was backed up in places it shouldn't be backed up, and I was beside myself in stop-and-go traffic at how a highway can go from sludgy to downright catatonic in 48 hours. I virtually missed my start time today. If my boss wanted to be an asshole, he could've cut me right then and there. Jesus Christ, an hour to drive that far?
As much as I vacillate on going back to the flu biller place -- and to be honest, right now I wouldn't mind if I never go back -- the commute at least was short. None of this crap. So I have to make a change. I'm going to try 35W. I thought about it before. I even spoke to one of my former co-workers and she recommended it. I decided against it because I looked on Google Maps and it said that in real time, 100 would be faster. It still might be tomorrow. But I would rather go a different route anyway. Why? Just so I don't have to alternately accelerate and brake for a goddamn hour. Or get into an accident; there was this one point where I thought I had space to change lanes, so I looked over my shoulder before doing so, and when I turned to look ahead I had barely avoided sideswiping the car in front of me, which looked like it was many yards ahead but suddenly braked. Honestly, I don't care if it takes me 90 minutes to get to work. Can't go through that traffic again.
At least these guys like me enough to bring me onto a different project, or projects. It's basically the same thing: You get trained on how to answer a question, and then you answer them. I was just afraid that the people I'll be working with and for will be dicks. Through one day, they aren't.
Unfortunately I've been reintroduced to the vagaries of test scoring projects. What I had with the previous one was a somewhat concrete certainty that we would end, at most, a couple days before our projected end date. That disappeared last year, thank goodness, when my position meant I came in earlier for the project, stayed later for the project, and worked more hours (at a hire rate of pay, natch). The project I'm working on now is a much different beast. It's a lower grade, therefore the papers are easier to go through. Problem is we're going a little too fast for my liking. The projected end date is the end of next week. And already the boss of our room says that we're working at such a good clip that we will be done ahead of time.
How far ahead? The other test scoring place is much ... worse at projecting end dates. With the exception of the one I did a month ago, where we actually went to the original projected end date, nearly every single project I've done with that company has ended much earlier. In fact (and I may have stated this already on Wailing And Failing) I have a rule whereby I look at the end date they predict, count the days devoted to the project, and cut it in half (and round up if I wind up with a half-day). That is the length of time I know I'll be working; everything else is gravy.
Even though this is the other test scoring place, it looks like I'll have to apply that rule of thumb. Therefore, that means we'll be done Tuesday. That gives me Wednesday, Thursday and Friday to return to the place where I got my new insoles so I could get the extensions to the insoles (didn't know there was such a thing), get new repairs for my car in case they need them, and maybe even have a little sexytime. The tradeoff for the free time, of course, is no work. So I'll be back on the dole for a week, it looks like.
---
The overarching problem with work, however, is the traffic. Hoo-boy, did it suck today.
I'll be honest about this: I have to drive down 100 to get to work. It was overhauled about a decade (?) ago, when it actually had traffic lights despite the fact so many people drove up and down it that it had the use of a highway. When it opened, it was finally as big and busy as it's supposed to be, and it was so good to drive it.
It still is, but the renovation isn't complete. Starting about a month ago, parts of 100 will be shut down over, I think, the next six months. In particular, they need to finally get rid of this very old bridge that looks like an eyesore which could fall down at any time. Because of that and other projects, parts of 100 are shut down. And that creates a damn traffic nightmare.
I tested driving it around the time I have to drive to work on Monday, two days before I started work today. It took me 45 minutes when, if I recall correctly, it only took me a half-hour (usually) to get to work last year, when it wasn't under construction. So I thought leaving an hour earlier, especially for my first day, would be more than enough.
But I'll be goddamned if it took me a whole fucking hour -- maybe 61 minutes to be precise -- to get to work today. My God, that is fucking bullshit. Highway 100 was backed up in places it shouldn't be backed up, and I was beside myself in stop-and-go traffic at how a highway can go from sludgy to downright catatonic in 48 hours. I virtually missed my start time today. If my boss wanted to be an asshole, he could've cut me right then and there. Jesus Christ, an hour to drive that far?
As much as I vacillate on going back to the flu biller place -- and to be honest, right now I wouldn't mind if I never go back -- the commute at least was short. None of this crap. So I have to make a change. I'm going to try 35W. I thought about it before. I even spoke to one of my former co-workers and she recommended it. I decided against it because I looked on Google Maps and it said that in real time, 100 would be faster. It still might be tomorrow. But I would rather go a different route anyway. Why? Just so I don't have to alternately accelerate and brake for a goddamn hour. Or get into an accident; there was this one point where I thought I had space to change lanes, so I looked over my shoulder before doing so, and when I turned to look ahead I had barely avoided sideswiping the car in front of me, which looked like it was many yards ahead but suddenly braked. Honestly, I don't care if it takes me 90 minutes to get to work. Can't go through that traffic again.
Tuesday, April 14, 2015
I Now Know A Lot About Restaurants And Their Happy Hours
Along with car repairs and strippers, my biggest expense that I continue to vow to rein in is eating out. I can't help it; I can't cook for myself, and even when my parents my dinner for me I want to go out and enjoy good food that I don't make. Sometimes I want to watch a sporting event on cable, which I can't get at home. Sometimes I want to have coffee while working on my computer, and I just do not want to do it at home, even though I do precisely the same thing if I'm at home. Sometimes I want to get away from my folks. Whatever my reasons, I do it a lot. And it regularly eats away at my money. But I can't help it, no matter how hard I try.
I kicked going out up a notch over the fall and winter. That was when I was a part of the flu billing project, and also the time of year when my parents were out globetrotting. But what really turned me into (at least at that time) a person who regularly goes out to eat was starting to see a psychiatrist on Wednesdays after work. Since our sessions ended in the teeth of afternoon rush, I thought I might as well wait it out by having a night out.
So I ate out basically at every single restaurant that advertises on TV and to where I have never been, at least not in years. Did the entire rotation, starting with those places that had a coupon so I could save some money. But then the coupons ran out and I said, "Fuck it, I'll just go to this place and then that place." No big dinners. If I didn't have a coupon or if there wasn't a deal, I just went with the sampler. I think it's the best way to, uh, sample what the restaurant has.
Verdict: Uh, they're all the same. I mean, I never spat out the food and said, "Terrible!" and walked out. They were all good. None, however, was memorable. So when I rank the places, my first criterion is price. Specifically, I prefer places that have Happy Hours over ones that don't.
And much to my surprise, most of the chain spots did not have Happy Hours. Huh? Chili's, Applebee's, Red Lobster ... came in at the time you would expect there would be a Happy Hour and there was none. I would think that if any place would have Happy Hours, it'd be the big chain restaurants, but no. In fact, the only chain that did have one was TGI Friday's, and I suspect that they only had a special menu with those prices because it was located in the mall. (Don't know why being in a mall meant you had to have a Happy Hour menu, but that's my theory and I stand by it for now.) Not saying Friday's was outstanding, but because I had to pay full price for samplers to the other places, they're at the bottom.
And speaking of the mall, there were a few places in and around there that I went to because the psychiatrist's office was very close by. I was surprised that Big Bowl (is that the name?) had very cheap food for Happy Hour. I just wish that I liked Chinese more (even the "Chinese" Big Bowl offers), but I am Chinese, and I have it all the time at home. Granite City, in particular their pizzas, is good; I just wish they were a bit cheaper. On the other hand, Romano's Macaroni Grill's Happy Hour was both expensive and not that good. If there were any restaurant I would rank at the bottom based on quality of food alone, it'd be Romano's. And I thought I read on Consumer Reports some years ago that people liked them.
So who's on top? Well, there's TGI Friday's and Buffalo Wild Wings, which is starting to become my go-to place because they show sports everywhere. Old Chicago, too, don't want to forget them. And I want to give a pass to Outback Steakhouse; they don't have a Happy Hour menu, but at least they gave out coupons, one of which I used when I ate there. (Special shout-out to Perkins and Baker's Square. Neither place has a Happy Hour, but their food was cheap and I liked them. I just miss being able to have a beer and watch TV because these places are too family-oriented.) But I want to point out that I have been surprised by the non-chain, local spots, places like Digby's and The Lowry. They don't get much publicity and they certainly can't run commercials on TV. But both places had dirt cheap prices for Happy Hour, the menus were fairly expansive and diverse, and the food I got there was very good.
Therefore, if I do this next time -- and I'm sure that my parents will take another trip and I'll see my shrink again after work is over and I'll just have the itch to be social by myself -- I should remember this. Mental note: Avoid Chili's, Applebee's, Red Lobster, Romano's Macaroni Grill. Go to Outback Steakhouse, Perkins and Baker's Square (or any other restaurant) if they have a coupon. And patronize places such as Big Bowl, Granite City, Digby's and The Lowry because they're cheap and good.
I kicked going out up a notch over the fall and winter. That was when I was a part of the flu billing project, and also the time of year when my parents were out globetrotting. But what really turned me into (at least at that time) a person who regularly goes out to eat was starting to see a psychiatrist on Wednesdays after work. Since our sessions ended in the teeth of afternoon rush, I thought I might as well wait it out by having a night out.
So I ate out basically at every single restaurant that advertises on TV and to where I have never been, at least not in years. Did the entire rotation, starting with those places that had a coupon so I could save some money. But then the coupons ran out and I said, "Fuck it, I'll just go to this place and then that place." No big dinners. If I didn't have a coupon or if there wasn't a deal, I just went with the sampler. I think it's the best way to, uh, sample what the restaurant has.
Verdict: Uh, they're all the same. I mean, I never spat out the food and said, "Terrible!" and walked out. They were all good. None, however, was memorable. So when I rank the places, my first criterion is price. Specifically, I prefer places that have Happy Hours over ones that don't.
And much to my surprise, most of the chain spots did not have Happy Hours. Huh? Chili's, Applebee's, Red Lobster ... came in at the time you would expect there would be a Happy Hour and there was none. I would think that if any place would have Happy Hours, it'd be the big chain restaurants, but no. In fact, the only chain that did have one was TGI Friday's, and I suspect that they only had a special menu with those prices because it was located in the mall. (Don't know why being in a mall meant you had to have a Happy Hour menu, but that's my theory and I stand by it for now.) Not saying Friday's was outstanding, but because I had to pay full price for samplers to the other places, they're at the bottom.
And speaking of the mall, there were a few places in and around there that I went to because the psychiatrist's office was very close by. I was surprised that Big Bowl (is that the name?) had very cheap food for Happy Hour. I just wish that I liked Chinese more (even the "Chinese" Big Bowl offers), but I am Chinese, and I have it all the time at home. Granite City, in particular their pizzas, is good; I just wish they were a bit cheaper. On the other hand, Romano's Macaroni Grill's Happy Hour was both expensive and not that good. If there were any restaurant I would rank at the bottom based on quality of food alone, it'd be Romano's. And I thought I read on Consumer Reports some years ago that people liked them.
So who's on top? Well, there's TGI Friday's and Buffalo Wild Wings, which is starting to become my go-to place because they show sports everywhere. Old Chicago, too, don't want to forget them. And I want to give a pass to Outback Steakhouse; they don't have a Happy Hour menu, but at least they gave out coupons, one of which I used when I ate there. (Special shout-out to Perkins and Baker's Square. Neither place has a Happy Hour, but their food was cheap and I liked them. I just miss being able to have a beer and watch TV because these places are too family-oriented.) But I want to point out that I have been surprised by the non-chain, local spots, places like Digby's and The Lowry. They don't get much publicity and they certainly can't run commercials on TV. But both places had dirt cheap prices for Happy Hour, the menus were fairly expansive and diverse, and the food I got there was very good.
Therefore, if I do this next time -- and I'm sure that my parents will take another trip and I'll see my shrink again after work is over and I'll just have the itch to be social by myself -- I should remember this. Mental note: Avoid Chili's, Applebee's, Red Lobster, Romano's Macaroni Grill. Go to Outback Steakhouse, Perkins and Baker's Square (or any other restaurant) if they have a coupon. And patronize places such as Big Bowl, Granite City, Digby's and The Lowry because they're cheap and good.
Monday, April 13, 2015
Missing 1040X
Alright, so it's tax time, and I'm doing this now because on Tax Day I start my next scoring project. (I owe both the country and the state, and even after I added some funds to my HSA, I still owe both because that transfer lowered my contributions only by an incremental amount. For the record, I owe the country just over $111 and the state $46. I'm not sure what changed from last year, when my taxes were a wash.)
And since I'm doing taxes, I thought about going to this tax project I started a year (or maybe two) ago because hey, might as well do all these taxes at once. Either on my taxes for last year, the year before or the year before that, I later realized that I did them wrong and that I in fact should have paid out less money than I did. Something about not doing a worksheet.
So, for up to (I think) three years, you can send in a revised tax return to both the country and the state, explain why you're sending them, and, hopefully, you'll get some of your money back. This was uncharted territory, so I didn't really pound it out over a day. I may have been going back to it over the course of three years. It's been so long I forget for which year I'm revising my taxes.
So, at the library yesterday I had time and thought I would finally finish my revised tax return, the 1040X. But I don't know where it is. Looked in my computer bag, where I have many papers, but it's not there. I checked my bookbag, including my clipboard, where I usually put my important papers, but it's not there. After I got home I tried looking through my night desk, where I shove a lot of shit, but it's not there either.
So, I guess, I'm screwed. I swear I still have it in a place where I have regular, daily access to it. Or, I could have thrown it into storage. Oh, well. If it's been three years, it's too late now, and if it's less than that, I have no momentum after I finish up my taxes today to go doing taxes from a bygone year once again.
FML.
And since I'm doing taxes, I thought about going to this tax project I started a year (or maybe two) ago because hey, might as well do all these taxes at once. Either on my taxes for last year, the year before or the year before that, I later realized that I did them wrong and that I in fact should have paid out less money than I did. Something about not doing a worksheet.
So, for up to (I think) three years, you can send in a revised tax return to both the country and the state, explain why you're sending them, and, hopefully, you'll get some of your money back. This was uncharted territory, so I didn't really pound it out over a day. I may have been going back to it over the course of three years. It's been so long I forget for which year I'm revising my taxes.
So, at the library yesterday I had time and thought I would finally finish my revised tax return, the 1040X. But I don't know where it is. Looked in my computer bag, where I have many papers, but it's not there. I checked my bookbag, including my clipboard, where I usually put my important papers, but it's not there. After I got home I tried looking through my night desk, where I shove a lot of shit, but it's not there either.
So, I guess, I'm screwed. I swear I still have it in a place where I have regular, daily access to it. Or, I could have thrown it into storage. Oh, well. If it's been three years, it's too late now, and if it's less than that, I have no momentum after I finish up my taxes today to go doing taxes from a bygone year once again.
FML.
Sunday, April 12, 2015
Poor Bastard Of The Moment: Matt O'Connor
Frozen Four final, aka the national championship in top-flight men's college hockey, was last night. I've said it before and I'll say it again: College hockey (women's as well as men's) should be a lot more popular around the country than it is now. But if only pockets of the Upper Midwest and New England are in on this well-kept secret, OK, this will be our well-kept secret. Because frequently in the NCAA men's hockey tournament, you'll get games such as last night's title game, where underdog Providence drew first blood, Boston University scored twice an NCAA-record four seconds apart, the Friars tied it up in the second period only for the Terriers to take the lead again, and finally Provy tallied twice in the third period to give the school their first men's national championship in any sport in its history.
But it'll be that first goal in the third, the one that tied the game at 3, that'll go down in the annals of history. Providence's Tom Parisi, in order to give him and the others on his shift time to get to the bench, chipped the puck over three waiting BU players in their defensive zone and at the Terrier net, where Boston U. Goalie Matt O'Connor caught the high-arcing shot with his glove.
Or so he thought. Well, actually he did, but that lob confused him. O'Connor closed his glove, but he didn't believe he actually caught the puck. He thought it was still loose, so he began looking around the net to find it and he reflexively just opened his glove ... where the puck trickled out, onto the ice, and rolled between his legs and across the goal line.
This was a close game, but since that BU third goal the game settled into a gurgling affair which didn't make you think a score was inevitable. That howler, of course, changed everything. I didn't think it was inevitable that Providence had the, uh, divine providence to win at that point -- the Terriers were the more talented team in the game and they often played like it -- but 2:19 later Brandon Tanev got to the loose puck off of a faceoff in the Boston U. defensive left circle and wristed a shot across O'Connor for the game- and championship-winning score.
All because of that fuck-up by O'Connor. Well, not really. That goal by Tanev was, according to color analyst Barry Melrose of ESPN (side note: Even though The Worldwide Leader did a good job, I think NBC Sports would have done a better one because they're the guys who mainly broadcast hockey nowadays) not O'Connor's fault but the fault of his five teammates for not getting to the puck or to Tanev. The game would have been tied regardless of O'Connor did or failed to do, so Boston University may very well have lost it at the end of the third period or overtime. But right now, I doubt even Matt O'Connor feels that way. He must feel awful at what he did. I really hope he's OK, because something like that can crush a guy.
Poor bastard.
But it'll be that first goal in the third, the one that tied the game at 3, that'll go down in the annals of history. Providence's Tom Parisi, in order to give him and the others on his shift time to get to the bench, chipped the puck over three waiting BU players in their defensive zone and at the Terrier net, where Boston U. Goalie Matt O'Connor caught the high-arcing shot with his glove.
Or so he thought. Well, actually he did, but that lob confused him. O'Connor closed his glove, but he didn't believe he actually caught the puck. He thought it was still loose, so he began looking around the net to find it and he reflexively just opened his glove ... where the puck trickled out, onto the ice, and rolled between his legs and across the goal line.
This was a close game, but since that BU third goal the game settled into a gurgling affair which didn't make you think a score was inevitable. That howler, of course, changed everything. I didn't think it was inevitable that Providence had the, uh, divine providence to win at that point -- the Terriers were the more talented team in the game and they often played like it -- but 2:19 later Brandon Tanev got to the loose puck off of a faceoff in the Boston U. defensive left circle and wristed a shot across O'Connor for the game- and championship-winning score.
All because of that fuck-up by O'Connor. Well, not really. That goal by Tanev was, according to color analyst Barry Melrose of ESPN (side note: Even though The Worldwide Leader did a good job, I think NBC Sports would have done a better one because they're the guys who mainly broadcast hockey nowadays) not O'Connor's fault but the fault of his five teammates for not getting to the puck or to Tanev. The game would have been tied regardless of O'Connor did or failed to do, so Boston University may very well have lost it at the end of the third period or overtime. But right now, I doubt even Matt O'Connor feels that way. He must feel awful at what he did. I really hope he's OK, because something like that can crush a guy.
Poor bastard.
Saturday, April 11, 2015
New Feet, New Eyes -- New Me?
Didn't quite realize it, but just after a week where I overhauled my car (new air intake tube, new radiator, new mass air flow sensor -- so far, so good!), I kind of overhauled my body yesterday.
Shortly before the beginning of my two-week "sabbatical," the place where I got my feet sized for my new insoles called and said they were ready. Have I talked about this yet? I'll repeat myself in case I'm getting ahead of myself. I have flat feet, and the insoles I got several years ago have gotten old and flat, so a couple months ago I went to another place to get my feet molded for new ones.
I got these new insoles yesterday. They feel very different. These ones, unlike my old ones, have this metatarsal bar right in the middle of the insoles, going across both of my feet. Standing up and walking around it feels like there's this big oblong mass underneath my foot. It is weird to feel, especially when I pick up my feet, and my fingers bend from the rest of the foot. It feels like a soft rock is banging up against the bottom of my feet.
The guy told me that I need a couple weeks to get acclimated to these new insoles. They are uncomfortable, but as long as the design of these insoles help with my feet pain, I will trust that eventually the discomfort goes away. Right now it isn't, however. I exercised heavily yesterday morning, and so the big pain points -- behind the ball and just in front of the heel, both on my left foot -- still hurt, a day after I worked out, even with the new insoles. Again, I shall trust.
---
Meanwhile, I had finally picked out my glasses from Warby Parker after that lengthy roundelay. I got the five Try-At-Home glasses, took pictures of myself with each of them, then started asking my friends what they thought.
I first showed these pictures to two friends who were at this local amateur wrestling contest, then one of my ATFs at My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Version). They all voted on the same frame.
I then threw them up on Facebook and asked all my friends which one looked the best. It became quite clear that the two rectangular ones were the most popular. These two frames look virtually identical, and so many of my friends thought that either one would be fine. Some, however, discerned between the two and made a decision.
Appreciate all the input and love, but the decision was so tight that I really didn't know which one to get. Finally, I had to open up a spreadsheet and actually go through each friend's vote to see if a frame got more votes than the other. After doing that (and then doing it again in case I made a mistake, and I did), one got 13 1/2 votes while the other got 10 1/2. That three-vote difference may be because it was the first rectangular frame they saw and they didn't pay much attention to the second. Nevertheless, majority rules.
I felt kind of bad making a decision like this. I have many friends that voted for the one frame I got and many for the one I didn't get. The three friends I showed these pictures on my smartphone all voted for the frame that lost. So does the female friend I've known the longest. Warby Parker also tweeted back that they thought those frames looked best on me (I posted the pictures on my Twitter feed as well); wouldn't they be experts at which frame looks best on me? But the ones that voted for the frame I got include my sister and brother-in-law. I What's Apped (that's not a word, I know) my sister about one thing and the conversation eventually got to my agonizing eyeglasses decision, and she said that, yes, there is a difference between the two rectangular frames. Specifically, these frames are thicker all around, and that is best for my shape of face. I trust her judgement, as well as that of the majority of my friends. Plus, hey, my sister and brother-in-law are family. Got to go with them, right?
And so it was. A couple weeks ago I ordered the ... oh, what the hell, I'll tell you, the Felton in Jet Black, and I got them Thursday, I think. Usually in these cases I would keep the box and not open my glasses for months just because I'm lazy, but Warby Parker only gives me so much time to return the glasses in case something is wrong. So cut open the box, looked at the beautiful case, opened that up to see the black pearl of my new Felton, wondered how in the heck I spent only $90 for it, then put it on. Things look sharper through these than on my old eyeglasses with the old prescription. I thought that I should keep my old glasses on when leaving for this house party last night because maybe going to St. Paul at night isn't the best time to make my eyes adjust to a new prescription, but I wanted to impress my ATF, ***e*, with my new glasses, so I popped them on. And I haven't taken them off since.
---
New insoles, new eyeglasses ... maybe this means a new me, a better me. Or, maybe not. Nevertheless, these are changes that don't make me hyperventilate. In fact, I'm really OK with them.
Shortly before the beginning of my two-week "sabbatical," the place where I got my feet sized for my new insoles called and said they were ready. Have I talked about this yet? I'll repeat myself in case I'm getting ahead of myself. I have flat feet, and the insoles I got several years ago have gotten old and flat, so a couple months ago I went to another place to get my feet molded for new ones.
I got these new insoles yesterday. They feel very different. These ones, unlike my old ones, have this metatarsal bar right in the middle of the insoles, going across both of my feet. Standing up and walking around it feels like there's this big oblong mass underneath my foot. It is weird to feel, especially when I pick up my feet, and my fingers bend from the rest of the foot. It feels like a soft rock is banging up against the bottom of my feet.
The guy told me that I need a couple weeks to get acclimated to these new insoles. They are uncomfortable, but as long as the design of these insoles help with my feet pain, I will trust that eventually the discomfort goes away. Right now it isn't, however. I exercised heavily yesterday morning, and so the big pain points -- behind the ball and just in front of the heel, both on my left foot -- still hurt, a day after I worked out, even with the new insoles. Again, I shall trust.
---
Meanwhile, I had finally picked out my glasses from Warby Parker after that lengthy roundelay. I got the five Try-At-Home glasses, took pictures of myself with each of them, then started asking my friends what they thought.
I first showed these pictures to two friends who were at this local amateur wrestling contest, then one of my ATFs at My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Version). They all voted on the same frame.
I then threw them up on Facebook and asked all my friends which one looked the best. It became quite clear that the two rectangular ones were the most popular. These two frames look virtually identical, and so many of my friends thought that either one would be fine. Some, however, discerned between the two and made a decision.
Appreciate all the input and love, but the decision was so tight that I really didn't know which one to get. Finally, I had to open up a spreadsheet and actually go through each friend's vote to see if a frame got more votes than the other. After doing that (and then doing it again in case I made a mistake, and I did), one got 13 1/2 votes while the other got 10 1/2. That three-vote difference may be because it was the first rectangular frame they saw and they didn't pay much attention to the second. Nevertheless, majority rules.
I felt kind of bad making a decision like this. I have many friends that voted for the one frame I got and many for the one I didn't get. The three friends I showed these pictures on my smartphone all voted for the frame that lost. So does the female friend I've known the longest. Warby Parker also tweeted back that they thought those frames looked best on me (I posted the pictures on my Twitter feed as well); wouldn't they be experts at which frame looks best on me? But the ones that voted for the frame I got include my sister and brother-in-law. I What's Apped (that's not a word, I know) my sister about one thing and the conversation eventually got to my agonizing eyeglasses decision, and she said that, yes, there is a difference between the two rectangular frames. Specifically, these frames are thicker all around, and that is best for my shape of face. I trust her judgement, as well as that of the majority of my friends. Plus, hey, my sister and brother-in-law are family. Got to go with them, right?
And so it was. A couple weeks ago I ordered the ... oh, what the hell, I'll tell you, the Felton in Jet Black, and I got them Thursday, I think. Usually in these cases I would keep the box and not open my glasses for months just because I'm lazy, but Warby Parker only gives me so much time to return the glasses in case something is wrong. So cut open the box, looked at the beautiful case, opened that up to see the black pearl of my new Felton, wondered how in the heck I spent only $90 for it, then put it on. Things look sharper through these than on my old eyeglasses with the old prescription. I thought that I should keep my old glasses on when leaving for this house party last night because maybe going to St. Paul at night isn't the best time to make my eyes adjust to a new prescription, but I wanted to impress my ATF, ***e*, with my new glasses, so I popped them on. And I haven't taken them off since.
---
New insoles, new eyeglasses ... maybe this means a new me, a better me. Or, maybe not. Nevertheless, these are changes that don't make me hyperventilate. In fact, I'm really OK with them.
Friday, April 10, 2015
Final (I Fucking Hope) Tally Of Credit Card Charges To Fix The Stalling Issue On My Car, MasterCard-Style:
- Ground wire: $60.
- Diagnosis at the dealership after the ground wire didn't fix the issue: $300.
- Air intake tube: $165.
- Oh, this has nothing to do with the stalling, but it looks like your radiator's leaking, and it's going to get hot soon, so ...: $400.
- Mass air flow sensor after the air intake tube didn't fix the issue: $450.
- Having the piece of mind that my car will no longer stall and potentially get me killed on the highway: PRICELESS, IF IT WAS DONE CORRECTLY, AND I STILL DON'T YET KNOW IF THE GODDAMN MASS AIR FLOW SENSOR REPLACEMENT FIXED THE ISSUE BECAUSE THIS IS THE THIRD SHOT AT FIXING THE STALL AND THE STALLING HAS HAPPENED A WEEK AFTER THE TWO PREVIOUS FIXES, SO I STILL HAVE NO CONFIDENCE IN EITHER MY CAR OR THE MECHANICS WHO ARE TRYING TO FIX IT.
Thursday, April 9, 2015
The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey
#-1: Wild (Last Week: Positive Numbers). In a week where none of the teams playing had records better than .500, by default I have to give the top spot to the team that at least clinched a playoff spot.
Yes, the Mild were able to secure a place in the Stanley Cup Playoffs for the third year in a row by scoring a pretty impressive 2-1 win in Chicago Tuesday. That was despite going on a three-game losing streak to begin the screening week (against the New York Rangers, which just won the Presidents' Trophy as the team with the best record in the regular season, Detroit and Winnipeg). Now last week I bitched about how people are touting the Mild as The Proverbial Team No One Wants To Face, but that was on the basis of momentum, and momentum has a way of disappearing at the most in opportune times. Those three losses (albeit to either playoff teams or teams fighting for a playoff spot, which is a bit disconcerting) does halt that momentum, which should, if I follow my logic correctly, be a good thing. But now I'm worried that they've lost all their mojo. Yeah, I'm a hypocrite.
Nevertheless, this is a fairly sizable accomplishment for a team that scuffled so bad in the middle of the season that the hole they dug themselves seemed impossible to surmount. While I will say that "teams digging themselves too big of a hole" is also a cliche -- if you say that to enough teams in the same season, one of those teams inevitably will dig themselves out of that hole; it's simple probability -- it is remarkable that one trade for a goaltender, which allowed the rest of the team to stay in their own lane not worry about covering for some sieve between the pipes, righted the ship ... albeit only as Wild Card 1.
The regular season ends this week with games at Nashville Thursday and St. Louis Saturday. I believe playoffs begin before next week's survey.
#-2: Swarm (Last Week: -1). The rest of this list will go by record, which means our local lacrosse squad gets the runner-up position. They beat New England at home Friday 12-8, but then took a massive dump Saturday in Buffalo, losing 10-2. That puts their record at 5-9. Like last year, I think there are only six teams that make the playoffs from the nine-team league, three in each division. And the Smarm are two games behind the Bandits, the team that just routed them last Saturday, for the third and final spot in the East Division.
The only thing going for them is that they begin a season-ending four-game homestand Saturday against Buffalo, so they have no better environment in which to run the table and maybe, maybe, snag that spot. That game also serves as the annual National Lacrosse League/Minnesota RollerGirls doubleheader.
#-3: Gopher baseball (Last Week: -3). A 2-2 week, but one of the wins was a Wednesday 11-0 rout of Carleton College at Siebert, so does that count? In the games that count, they lost two-of-three at Rutgers. That puts their record at 2-7, 11th in the 13-team conference (remember that Wisconsin does not have a baseball program). So, yeah, they're going nowhere.
Just thought of this: The Goofer baseball team said they needed to overhaul Siebert in order to recruit. Just like the Twins when they said they needed a new outdoor stadium in order to compete. Both clubs have gotten new edifices, and look at them now -- they suck! So what the fuck are these new stadia for?
Possibly the only saving grace they have is that, starting with a one-off against North Dakota St. Tuesday, they will begin a 13-game homestand. But first, they have to visit Nebraska for a three-game series.
#-4: Gopher softball (Last Week: -2). Last weekend showed the limits of this team, I'm afraid. I was at Sunday afternoon's rubber match against Michigan at Jane Sage Cowles Stadium. And they lost, badly -- 9-1 in six innings. It got so bad that they ended the game early. I think the rule, and it's called the run rule but I call it the mercy rule because it's mean, is this: If, after five full innings, the margin is six runs or more, the game is over. I don't care how good Michigan is, and they are really good. You don't get mercy-ruled at home. Never.
Now, I should balance that with the fact that the Gophers mercy-ruled the Wolverines by the exact same score in the exact same number of innings on Friday. (Michigan routed Minnesota 9-4 Saturday afternoon.) And, somehow, this squad actually rose in the one of the two college softball polls, to 11th. (They fell from 11th to 13th in College Sports Madness and from 14th to 15th in USA Today/NFCA Coaches). And so Golden Gopher MR is, obviously, using that ranking to promote the club's next big series at Cowles, Northwestern, which leads the B1G with an 8-0 record. I think I once again will try to go to Sunday's game, which like last week is at high noon. Weird note: Northwestern is undefeated in-conference, yet they are not ranked in any of the three polls.
#-5: Timberwolves (Last Week: -4). Defeats to Orlando, Sacramento and Portland now run their losing streak to eight games. The only intrigue involving this injury-riddled, insouciant team is The Race To The Bottom, and as of press time, they are only one game behind New York for worst record in the National Basketball Association (they are 1 1/2 games ahead of Philadelphia for second). So they have a chance to be the worst team in the NBA, which they seem to be every single fucking year.
By the way, Kevin Garnett, the man whom the entire state ballyhooed upon his return, has now missed the team's last 17 games.
Thank Buddha this is the last week of the regular season. They visit The Bastard Minneapolis Lakers and the team with the best record in the Association, The Bastard Philadelphia Warriors, before returning to Target Center to face The Bastard Charlotte Hornets and The Bastard Seattle SuperSonics.
#-6: Twins (Re-Entry!). Way to hit the ground running, Twinks! They open the 2015 year by getting shut out 4-0 at the hands of Detroit Tigers ace David Price Monday, then follow that up Wednesday by getting the shit kicked out of them 11-0. Not only have they not scored yet this season, they haven't even managed to get a runner over to third base. They've been outhit at Comerica 25-9. Going back to the end of last year, they have been held scoreless the last 18 innings of play. The lineup's sudden pop was, alongside Phil Hughes (and what a way to set the tone for the team, Phil!), the only good surprise from last year, and so far, it's gone to shit.
The starting rotation is already shit, but we already knew that. Ricky Nolasco is so much the shit, coughing up six runs and not even getting an out in the fourth inning in Wednesday's loss. That exacerbates that much more the surprise suspension of supposed good guy and a man signed to the largest free agent contract in the history of the franchise, Pitcher Ervin Santana, who said he didn't "knowingly" take Performance Enhancing Drugs. Any Pitcher would help this sorry set of arms, but he won't be riding to the rescue for 80 games.
If they play this badly through the season opener Monday vs. Kansas City, there should be a goddamn rebellion. Before this series against the Royals, the Twinks finish up their series at Detroit today (Thursday), then play a three-game series in Chicago. The Friday game is the White Sox's home opener.
#-7: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: 0). Wait a second ... can women's college basketball players actually leave early for the pros? I had no fucking clue that you could. But Amanda Zahui B., recently named as the first Gopher to be named Associated Press All-America First Team, said on Monday she is skipping the last two years of college eligibility and declare for the Women's National Basketball Association Draft. Guess the contract with the WNBA states that the youngest age you are draft-eligible for is 22. And Zahui is 22. So she's gone.
This is a devastating blow for the team and the program. Because Zahui was such a huge big, she always was seen as having game-changing potential. And she blossomed last year in the absence of Rachel Banham, who was gone for the year with a busted ACL. Her numbers wouldn't be as good next year with Banham back, but it looked like they would be a much better team. In fact, in an interview, Head Coach Marlene Stollings said that other people touted Minnesota as a potential Final Four team. There's obviously no chance of that now. They'll have Banham manning the point and Carlie Wagner (hopefully) raining threes from outside. They just won't have any inside presence -- not next year, and maybe not in the near future.
Zahui was a once-in-a-lifetime player for the program. Someone like her will not come around these parts ever again.
Yes, the Mild were able to secure a place in the Stanley Cup Playoffs for the third year in a row by scoring a pretty impressive 2-1 win in Chicago Tuesday. That was despite going on a three-game losing streak to begin the screening week (against the New York Rangers, which just won the Presidents' Trophy as the team with the best record in the regular season, Detroit and Winnipeg). Now last week I bitched about how people are touting the Mild as The Proverbial Team No One Wants To Face, but that was on the basis of momentum, and momentum has a way of disappearing at the most in opportune times. Those three losses (albeit to either playoff teams or teams fighting for a playoff spot, which is a bit disconcerting) does halt that momentum, which should, if I follow my logic correctly, be a good thing. But now I'm worried that they've lost all their mojo. Yeah, I'm a hypocrite.
Nevertheless, this is a fairly sizable accomplishment for a team that scuffled so bad in the middle of the season that the hole they dug themselves seemed impossible to surmount. While I will say that "teams digging themselves too big of a hole" is also a cliche -- if you say that to enough teams in the same season, one of those teams inevitably will dig themselves out of that hole; it's simple probability -- it is remarkable that one trade for a goaltender, which allowed the rest of the team to stay in their own lane not worry about covering for some sieve between the pipes, righted the ship ... albeit only as Wild Card 1.
The regular season ends this week with games at Nashville Thursday and St. Louis Saturday. I believe playoffs begin before next week's survey.
#-2: Swarm (Last Week: -1). The rest of this list will go by record, which means our local lacrosse squad gets the runner-up position. They beat New England at home Friday 12-8, but then took a massive dump Saturday in Buffalo, losing 10-2. That puts their record at 5-9. Like last year, I think there are only six teams that make the playoffs from the nine-team league, three in each division. And the Smarm are two games behind the Bandits, the team that just routed them last Saturday, for the third and final spot in the East Division.
The only thing going for them is that they begin a season-ending four-game homestand Saturday against Buffalo, so they have no better environment in which to run the table and maybe, maybe, snag that spot. That game also serves as the annual National Lacrosse League/Minnesota RollerGirls doubleheader.
#-3: Gopher baseball (Last Week: -3). A 2-2 week, but one of the wins was a Wednesday 11-0 rout of Carleton College at Siebert, so does that count? In the games that count, they lost two-of-three at Rutgers. That puts their record at 2-7, 11th in the 13-team conference (remember that Wisconsin does not have a baseball program). So, yeah, they're going nowhere.
Just thought of this: The Goofer baseball team said they needed to overhaul Siebert in order to recruit. Just like the Twins when they said they needed a new outdoor stadium in order to compete. Both clubs have gotten new edifices, and look at them now -- they suck! So what the fuck are these new stadia for?
Possibly the only saving grace they have is that, starting with a one-off against North Dakota St. Tuesday, they will begin a 13-game homestand. But first, they have to visit Nebraska for a three-game series.
#-4: Gopher softball (Last Week: -2). Last weekend showed the limits of this team, I'm afraid. I was at Sunday afternoon's rubber match against Michigan at Jane Sage Cowles Stadium. And they lost, badly -- 9-1 in six innings. It got so bad that they ended the game early. I think the rule, and it's called the run rule but I call it the mercy rule because it's mean, is this: If, after five full innings, the margin is six runs or more, the game is over. I don't care how good Michigan is, and they are really good. You don't get mercy-ruled at home. Never.
Now, I should balance that with the fact that the Gophers mercy-ruled the Wolverines by the exact same score in the exact same number of innings on Friday. (Michigan routed Minnesota 9-4 Saturday afternoon.) And, somehow, this squad actually rose in the one of the two college softball polls, to 11th. (They fell from 11th to 13th in College Sports Madness and from 14th to 15th in USA Today/NFCA Coaches). And so Golden Gopher MR is, obviously, using that ranking to promote the club's next big series at Cowles, Northwestern, which leads the B1G with an 8-0 record. I think I once again will try to go to Sunday's game, which like last week is at high noon. Weird note: Northwestern is undefeated in-conference, yet they are not ranked in any of the three polls.
#-5: Timberwolves (Last Week: -4). Defeats to Orlando, Sacramento and Portland now run their losing streak to eight games. The only intrigue involving this injury-riddled, insouciant team is The Race To The Bottom, and as of press time, they are only one game behind New York for worst record in the National Basketball Association (they are 1 1/2 games ahead of Philadelphia for second). So they have a chance to be the worst team in the NBA, which they seem to be every single fucking year.
By the way, Kevin Garnett, the man whom the entire state ballyhooed upon his return, has now missed the team's last 17 games.
Thank Buddha this is the last week of the regular season. They visit The Bastard Minneapolis Lakers and the team with the best record in the Association, The Bastard Philadelphia Warriors, before returning to Target Center to face The Bastard Charlotte Hornets and The Bastard Seattle SuperSonics.
#-6: Twins (Re-Entry!). Way to hit the ground running, Twinks! They open the 2015 year by getting shut out 4-0 at the hands of Detroit Tigers ace David Price Monday, then follow that up Wednesday by getting the shit kicked out of them 11-0. Not only have they not scored yet this season, they haven't even managed to get a runner over to third base. They've been outhit at Comerica 25-9. Going back to the end of last year, they have been held scoreless the last 18 innings of play. The lineup's sudden pop was, alongside Phil Hughes (and what a way to set the tone for the team, Phil!), the only good surprise from last year, and so far, it's gone to shit.
The starting rotation is already shit, but we already knew that. Ricky Nolasco is so much the shit, coughing up six runs and not even getting an out in the fourth inning in Wednesday's loss. That exacerbates that much more the surprise suspension of supposed good guy and a man signed to the largest free agent contract in the history of the franchise, Pitcher Ervin Santana, who said he didn't "knowingly" take Performance Enhancing Drugs. Any Pitcher would help this sorry set of arms, but he won't be riding to the rescue for 80 games.
If they play this badly through the season opener Monday vs. Kansas City, there should be a goddamn rebellion. Before this series against the Royals, the Twinks finish up their series at Detroit today (Thursday), then play a three-game series in Chicago. The Friday game is the White Sox's home opener.
#-7: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: 0). Wait a second ... can women's college basketball players actually leave early for the pros? I had no fucking clue that you could. But Amanda Zahui B., recently named as the first Gopher to be named Associated Press All-America First Team, said on Monday she is skipping the last two years of college eligibility and declare for the Women's National Basketball Association Draft. Guess the contract with the WNBA states that the youngest age you are draft-eligible for is 22. And Zahui is 22. So she's gone.
This is a devastating blow for the team and the program. Because Zahui was such a huge big, she always was seen as having game-changing potential. And she blossomed last year in the absence of Rachel Banham, who was gone for the year with a busted ACL. Her numbers wouldn't be as good next year with Banham back, but it looked like they would be a much better team. In fact, in an interview, Head Coach Marlene Stollings said that other people touted Minnesota as a potential Final Four team. There's obviously no chance of that now. They'll have Banham manning the point and Carlie Wagner (hopefully) raining threes from outside. They just won't have any inside presence -- not next year, and maybe not in the near future.
Zahui was a once-in-a-lifetime player for the program. Someone like her will not come around these parts ever again.
Wednesday, April 8, 2015
Expenses Without Receipt
Alright, my car stalled badly this morning -- like, for a full minute. So I finally have to bite the bullet and overhaul everything that the dealership says needs replacing. And so as you can tell that I'm kind of bummed and I'm kind of pissed because I'm losing all my goddamn money now, so I'm going to do this EWR now.
Starting from Tuesday, April 7 (because I know I'll have other expenses today and I'll just put them on the next EWR):
Starting from Tuesday, April 7 (because I know I'll have other expenses today and I'll just put them on the next EWR):
- So my car stalled yesterday after working out, but it made it to Roseville, where I needed to pick up my day planner. I figured it was best not to drive the car anywhere else before I had to attend this conference call, so I walked all the way to Starbucks for a grande mocha, which I eventually took back to my car to wash down the turnover My Father packed for me for "work." Thought I got overcharged, but I was wrong. With tip: $5.
- I then was at a crossroads. I didn't know what to do with the rest of the day. I had planned on going to the movies because it was Discount Tuesday, but other than Run All Night and, maybe, MacFarland, USA, I really didn't want to go. Finally I had remembered one thing I could do instead. There was an English Premier League game, a special Tuesday Night Football, that I could watch between Aston Villa and Queens Park Rangers. The bar I could go to was at Cedar-Riverside, however, which is notorious for no parking. So I gave myself an out: I'd go down there (a short trip from the Roseville library) and find a spot. If I could, I'd spend my afternoon at the pub. If not, I'd immediately go back up to the movie theater. Seeing as it was a weekday, I did find a spot. I just wish I didn't dilly-dally at the library; I missed the start by five minutes. Nonetheless I parked myself there and got a Cuvee de Jacobins, and I have to say it may be one of the most distinctive beers I have ever tasted. And it was fantastic. Too bad it was expensive as fuck. With tip: $10.
- Going to the game allowed me to come home early. That morning Mother asked me when I could come home early so I could help her learn how to logon and print out printouts at the library. Wouldn't have been able to do that if I were at the movie. So we went (in my parents' minivan; I was going to volunteer to use my car, even though I was worried it might stall, and I think it turned out to be a good call). Mother said she needed a replacement card; turns out she hadn't signed up at all and so she was issued a brand new one. She was printing out some real estate stuff: 40 cents.
- On Monday the 6th I started my day going to Annelace Coffee for slow drip. With tip: $3.75.
- I went there because it was on the way to the U., where I had a study to participate in. Haven't done one of these things in a long time. Glad I got paid cold hard cash as soon as I was done, which was less than half an hour. An Infusion of: $20.
- From there I stopped by Buffalo Wild Wings to take in Opening Day, and then it was off to this new mechanic (the place where I have left the car now -- fucking car) because one of the mechanics there saw that the radiator was leaking. I don't know how bad it was, but when I parked at the U. I saw smoke coming out from under the hood. When I popped it open, I saw green stuff just about everywhere except the ground. I guess I could have kept driving it, but my heart probably would have jumped out of my chest like it was the entire drive there. Anyway, I was going to take the bus as the radiator was getting replaced, but the mechanic recommended that I just walk over to the bar. That's where I stayed for the next couple hours. Tater tots, beer and tip: $9.25.
- The guy said it'd only take a couple hours. But when I walked out of the bar and over to the shop, he gave me bad news: The new radiator was defective. He had to ask for a new one. Great, a couple more hours. Luckily, while I was wandering around trying to figure out what to do, I stumbled upon the bus stop, and it just so happened that the next bus to the nearest shopping mall was two minutes away. I was going on the bus after all: $1.75.
- And all I did at the mall was walk around. They're remodeling; it didn't look that shabby in the first place. I was bored, so I got myself an Orange Julius for the first time in a long time. With tip I think -- I think -- the total came out to: $4.25.
- Sunday, April 5: I left the house early to take in some coffee at the U. before the softball game. Went back to Espresso Royale, a place I once vowed never to return because the guys there were assholes. But I had no other coffee place to go (although I didn't see that a new Starbucks has come to the area). Luckily for me, the guy who made my mocha was nice and professional. With tip: $4.
- The softball game was a disaster. I'll talk about in the Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey. Program, hot dog, Coke: $10.25.
- I still had some time to kill before returning for dinner, so I thought it would be a good time to try this place called Jersey Mike's, a new sub chain that had pretty high marks on Consumer Reports' survey last year. They have a way of dressing sandwiches called "Mike's Style" which involves a light of red wine oil, which is very tasty but got everywhere. Also, their "mini" is more than four bucks, and I don't know if that's a deal, as good as it was. Had a Pepsi to go with it. With tip and it comes out too: $8.16.
- On Saturday the 4th I went to a different Caribou, one closer to my workout place. Not bad; this one has a row of chairs so pathetic losers like me could catch up on alumni stuff in peace. Mocha plus tip equals: $4.50.
- Friday the 3rd ... went to my regular Caribou. The barista I have known there for years wasn't there. Hope she's OK. Mocha, cooke, tip: $5.62.
- So Thursday the 2nd was the day I took my car into the dealership. Since I had a loaner I could take it anywhere, and so I took it to the Mall of America, clear on the other side of town. There were some nice babes at Hooters, but I decided it was time to finally try the Pizza Studio. The pizza I got was very thin, but the cheese was distributed evenly and it looked nice. I would try it again ... but it's expensive: $8.53.
- I think I found a quarter at the parking ramp at MOA. An Infusion of: 25 cents.
- Then I went to the library to wait for the dealership to diagnose my car. I used the time to fill out the surveys you get when restaurants give you their receipts. I had to print a $5 off coupon after filling out the Hard Rock Cafe survey: 10 cents.
- That afternoon I hastily arranged a meeting with ****e*, who was around the area of the dealership. She may have saved my bacon when it comes to paying too much money for the car, even though, well, I'm paying too much money for the car now. We had some sexytime; both that and her helping me will cum out on another blog post. Oh, she kind of ripped me off, too: $140.
- Alright, it looks like I have receipts for all the expenses from then on back to Saturday, March 28. That was *a***'s party, where my ATF, ***e*, was there to jerk me off and further pay me back for getting that game console for her son. But when I arrived at the party ***e* was busy, so I got a couple dances before I went upstairs. I had not gotten dances from either one, and so I really wanted to whip it out in front of them to see what they would do to it. Well, I could expose myself to the first one because there was another guy in the room where all the lap dances were being held, but I had all the room to myself for the second girl. With her back turned to me, I took out my main vein and plopped down. And like it was nothing at all, she started jerking me off. I love the element of surprise, so much so that I had to tell her to stop, otherwise I would blow and there would then be no reason to go to ***e*. I was able to control myself, but the bottle was shaken so much that ***e* had little trouble wanking me to completion. Dances for these two first-time girls plus cover came out to: $55.
- I celebrated my triumphant sexytime by going to My Favorite Late-Night Italian Place for a milkshake. With tip: $3.75.
- On Thursday the 26th I went to ********a's party. I have to rethink it because she was, once again, drunk out of her goddamn mind. I wasn't worried she was going to do anything stupid, but I don't find it fun to see her so out of control. At least she didn't notice that I whipped it out on the two other women I got dances from. Neither of them wanted to play, however. I least I won't get into trouble; hell, I don't think ********a even knew I was there. With cover: $50.
- Monday, March 23 -- Mother wanted me to type and print out a letter to the city. That's one of the reasons I decided to eschew the University of Minnesota women's hockey championship game the previous day: I was writing it. I thought I was done that day, but my parents wanted some edits, so I had to do it after work that day and skip coming home for dinner. Printout for a two-page letter: 20 cents.
- On Sunday the 22nd I went to My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Division). Don't exactly remember what time I went, or even if it was really Sunday. Oh, well. Tips and coffee: $11.
- Saturday the 21st was a long day. Went to work, then went to this alumni event in St. Paul, then went back to Minneapolis to attend the National Collegiate Hockey Conference title game at Target Center. But first I went to Dogwood Coffee inside Shinola to get an Americano to warm my hands and body. With tip: $3.25.
- Scalped a ticket for a price ($20) that may still have been too much. Also paid cash for the program. The hot dog and Coke I got a put on my credit card. Total: $25.
- After that I went to My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Edition), but my car really acted up on the way there. I was too worried to stay and enjoy myself, so I (paradoxically) went back into the car which is giving me so much anxiety. Tipped on chick: $2.
- But did I go straight home? No! I went to My Favorite Late-Night Italian Place for a chicken alfredo pizza. I knew I had to spend money to fix my car; how is a pizza going to inflate my credit card that badly by comparison? With tip: $16.25.
- Wednesday, March 18 was the eve of the NCAA Tournament, so I spent that evening after work meditating on my bracket. But first I went to the library to print out a Hooters coupon for free boneless wings for my birthday: 10 cents.
- I then went to Caffetto to finally make my picks, which were, once again, spectacularly wrong. I had a light dinner at The Lowry, but here I had a slice of Irish creme cheesecake and a mocha. With tip: $7.50.
- Monday, March 16 ... Started my research into the bracket. I remember looking forward to printing out the Kenpom sheets at the library after tournament play was completed; armed with that information I knew I was going to finally win that huge pool, which, by the way, awarded more than eight grand to the winner. Hope always springs eternal, I guess: 20 cents.
- I remember Sunday the 15th because I had real bad car trouble then! Shook and jerked and crawled my way downtown and the library there, where I had to print out the spreadsheets of the stocks they had sold for the 2014 tax year and the dates and share prices when they bought them. Hoo-boy, that was a huge goddamn project. I thought I would have a lot of time to go to the Twin Cities Auto Show after printing these (and the ticket for said auto show), but finishing up this task took me more than a few hours. I got out after noon, for crissake. The total: 50 cents.
- And I needed to pay for parking, for this is downtown: 50 cents.
- Saturday, March 14: I was at the volunteer project our alumni group was doing. I liked doing that, so I gave a donation of: $5.
- After that shift I hung out at the mall closest to me, which was close to the site of the project. While walking around I was snagged by those damn Girl Scouts and their cookies. I got the one with the raisins, I think. Shit, they are good: $4.
- That evening was the Minnesota RollerGirls championship bout. Had the fortunate timing of being approached by a guy who had extra tickets he was willing to give for free. There was a couple that, for some reason, hesitated when he asked them if they wanted these tickets (and I think he had more than two). One of the few times I took advantage of something new that dropped in my lap. Miller Lap plus tip: $8.
- Finished up the night with a trip to My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Version), where I took a spin with Betty, the hippiest chick at the bar. With tips and coffee: $31.
- All the way back to Saturday, March 7? I did start the test scoring project then; hope I either didn't spend anything or got receipts for the stuff that I did spend. Anyway, that was the day I went to the Boys' State High School Hockey AA final at the X. Didn't get anything to eat because I elected to eat at Cossetta instead. So I got a ticket from a fellow high school hockey on the street for: $20.
- Oh, and before the game the first thing I did once I got to St. Paul was get my car washed at the Downtowner. It was the first warm day of the year, so I thought it would be good to wash all the winter crap off my (now busted) car. Those guys are thorough, therefore I increased my tip by a full 50% (I charged the price of the car wash, which I used a coupon with): $3.
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